On How to Let Go of Perfectionism (Because “Perfectionism is the Highest Form of Self Abuse")
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- Oh, Perfectionism! How I have used you to make myself feel worthy! Oh, how I have used you to make me look better to people.
Perfectionism is an "ism" - much like alcoholism. It's uncontrollable and unmanageable and makes people not want to be around you. Perfectionism is a form of abuse - especially within and to ourselves.
Striving for excellence is when we are bringing and doing our best. And, as Don Miguel Ruiz says in "The Four Agreements," our best varies depending on circumstances or conditions in our lives that may impact who we are being at any given moment.
What does perfectionism look like? Sound like? I think we know people - including ourselves - that sound and look like this:
1. WTF were you thinking?
2. Do it my way - the right way - or the highway.
3. How could you do this?
4. You are such an idiot.
5. How could you forget this?
6. Let me tell you all the wrong things you have done...no wait ...let me tell OTHERS all the things that you have done that did not live up to my expectations.
7. Yelling and screaming at people for not meeting your expectations.
8. Calling people names for not being perfect.
9. Talking about people behind their backs. Gossiping.
10. Holding grudges; keeping score.
I have been a perfectionist in my life and I ended up in a career where everything had to be perfect or things didn't work. I don't care as much about how things (and myself and other people) should be - but to accept everyone and everything as they are.
Learn to be gentle with yourself. See the good in yourself. Become aware of how you talk to yourself and move your self-talk from critical and unmerciful to kind and compassionate. Then watch your world change.
The world will not fall apart if things aren't "perfect."
However, if you are a brain surgeon or a heart surgeon, I can only imagine that you are always bringing your best, which is probably near perfection. :-)
xoxoxo
You are amazing 🤍☀
That is so true, We will never be perfect. We should do the best we can. Great advice.