Yep I had a “meltdown” from overstimulation recently, my mom just stepped on my hair so I couldn’t escape, and yelled at me about how ridiculous I am. I kinda feel ashamed saying meltdown because it makes me seem like a spoiled child, but I don’t know. I’m tired of them not understanding that I do have autism, and I’m going to need special care. They won’t let me turn off lights, and they don’t let me turn down the tv, and everyone yells really loud to try to overstimulate me because they think it’s funny. I’ve been having to sleep outside because I don’t really have a room to go to, and it’s really cold here. I think I might just kill myself because I don’t know what else to do
@@Sprigatito1234 there is so much more to life than this, I came from a very similar family and ended up escaping. As someone who has attempted more than once, one hospitalizing me, its not worth it. It's never worth it. You are your own person and you deserve to live, you won't be with them forever you'll find a support group and things will get better. You just have to give it the chance to get better first.
@@Sprigatito1234That sounds like abuse. Is there any way you can try to tough it out a little longer instead of doing “that thing”? I have had to deal with people who seem like they’re trying to trigger meltdowns and burnout on purpose. Hopefully you can find some sort of “quiet place” to hide when toxic people are causing you problems. Stay strong and I’m sorry you have to put up with this situation.
@@Sprigatito1234 I'm tired too, when I have severe meltdowns I just get laughed at or they tell me to stop acting. Last time I had one they threw me in the shower with ice cold water, this sucks so much
Fun fact; Mary and Max was actually inspired by the creator's own personal experience with their pen-pal who he had written with for over twenty years! This is why it feels so authentic and had such a great representation. It's a love letter to his friend in New York, who he respected.
As an actual autistic woman myself, I was, and am still, disgusted by Music and the way it portrays autism. I probably have to track down Mary and Max and watch it.
As someone with Autism, I can't express enough how offended I was at Sia's movie. I do feel so bad for Maddie because she was really upset and didn't want to offend anyone. She's young and was exploited and I just feel so bad for her. Mary and Max on the other hand I found extremely sad and it portrayed a much more realistic and inoffensive portrayal of Autism
@@Fatherblahajyou know what I do? As someone who has unfortunately been diagnosed with this stuff. What I do is that I separate myself from it all. Be the solo wolf rather than living in the pack. If you understand what I’m saying.
I may not be autistic, but the restraining scene made me want to cry. It’s horrible how this is a real thing that people do. I have a cousin, he’s autistic and I thought of him. He doesn’t like being touched. Instead of hugs at family gatherings, he gives high fives. No one forces him to hug anyone because it would make him uncomfortable. I imagined how terrified he would be if someone held him down and yelled at him to calm down. I mean, imagine if you were already uncomfortable with general touch, then, while you were already terrified and overwhelmed by your surroundings, being held down and yelled at. It’s terrifying and sad how people think this is the right approach to this.
thanks you for supporting this man and understanding why it is so wrong even though your don't have to deal with autism which I mentally make into a cat
@truthseeker7815 It does have to do with autism! Autistic people are more like to be sensitive to touch as well as the other senses. People often force autistic kids to "behave better" by holding them down and yelling at them to be better. Ignoring the mistreatment of autistic people is why people think autistic people don't ever experience it and think "but everyone doesn't like that" instead.
I am not autistic but my jaw dropped at that restraint scene. I know people have died from restraints like that, I have experienced seizures and yes I had one experience where people attempted to restrain me as I seized! I was not concious but other people witnessed it and stopped it, thank God! I can't believe so many people are ignorant to the dangers. And not only that but this portrayal of autism felt like a caricature, especially when it was literally the actress pretending to act that way. And that actress was so young and didnt even feel right about doing it herself. WTF. I feel terrible for that girl. It's not like she could just break the contract. She will always be known for acting in that movie and she didn't even want to...
That reminds me, we had a sick kitten and had a babysitter at our house. It was warm because it was sick, so the babysitter put it in the refrigerator to cool it down. Some people just have no intuition for what they're doing.
The other problem with Music is that even if they did cast a neurodivergent actress to play Music, it still would not fix the screenplay, which doesn’t treat Music like a person, more like a prop.
That's the main problem of this movie. "Music" isn't a character, she is just there to give the main character a story and motivation, and I'm kind of happy that they didn't cas a naurodivergent actress because i can guarantee that said actress would have a horrible time being on set.
@@dominiklis6261 plus it’s so ironic that Sia called this movie her love letter to autistic people when she is clearly not patient or cooperative with autistic people and willing to accommodate to their needs. And based on how Maddie is acting here, it’s clear that Sia wanted a severely autistic person for the character.
I liked how getting mail from Mary would make Max panic initially-not because I enjoyed watching him panic, but because it's realistic for a character with autism to be upset by that. New experiences can be scary for people on the spectrum; our daily existence is stressful to begin with. If we continue to interact with you willingly, that can mean a lot more than NTs tend to assume it does.
That scene at the end made me feel both sad and happy. He had passed away smiling up at the letters that he had filed away on the ceiling. The narrator said previously that he laments and files the letters in a “proper place”. And it was probably best that he passed before meeting his friend. The stress and the fact that Mary had her very young baby with her. As much as I enjoy visitors myself I always feel a need to “detox” from others no matter how much I love them. My own household is fine though.
Sia: acts as if it's sweet and cute and sugar coats itself to the point one could die of diabetes Mary and Max: feels bittersweet, cold, weird, and has the exact feeling of living, warts and all
I don't think Sia is a bad person, I just think she had misunderstood autists like most people do. Being quick to demonize her for being misinformed is not the answer. I think she should do more research on the subject before making movies, and then she could have a better idea about us and realize that autistic people want to be understood, not patronized.
@@michaelcs4183 I agree. I haven’t seen the full film, but I have seen some clips and it’s like facing what doctors saw in my future when they told my mom I can never live a normal life and that all I’m meant to be is a resident in a facility pumped full of medication. Well, thanks to mom moving mountains in prayer for me, I graduated highschool and college, and I work in the same college so you can say Jesus has other plans. I think Sia should talk to people like Temple Grandin for research because Temple herself is autistic so that the misconceptions would be truly debunked.
I agree, heck; I was upset at her at first but thanks for making me realize that. But at the same time, I’m still a little upset at her for being an “Ableist”? I’m not sure, but still. I even still listen her music. Especially with her together song.
As the parent of an autistic child, I almost cried and was so horrified when I saw Music get held down like that. It made me think of my own son in that situation, and it made the scene even worse in my eyes.
You don’t have to be autistic to play an autistic person. But you should probably get some to help out. Great video thanks. Going to watch marry and max soon
True, but it can come across as offensive even if your depiction is well-studied and is to some extent an accurate depiction because we all can never fully understand how autism works and an outside look, while well-intended, might not have the best outcome. I will try and look at other portrayals of autism and keep in mind the director's (and actor's) intentions when reviewing. Thanks for watching.
I feel that at the very least the writer should be autistic in that case though, because even with extended research I feel that you can't really make a proper non offensive portrayal about autism. I really like Abed from community and even though Danny Pudi isn't autistic, the writer Dan Harmon (who, fun fact, actually got diagnosed while researching the character because he noticed the similarities) is on the spectrum. I've heard Abed be mentioned as good portrayal before, don't know if yall here agree but he's a really likable and well written character.
I believe there's certain level Of budget/structure witch would make the decision Of using "any actor" or an autistic actor a thing really important. Lets say that I try to make a no-budget movie based on my own discovered as an autist Here in Belém do Pará, a city with no professional movie Studios or even Theatre ... Its hard even to find someone who is autistic and has interest/skills on acting ... Cases like this short scale Of production I'm Really ok with people using what they have on hands (as long as with a heart in right place). The other side is a super production with a gigantic name Of music on It. You can research till the end Of the World and choose An actor or actresses because, probably, find many options would no be that dificult. THATS THE POINT I THINK MUST START TO NOT BE ACCEPTED CAST NEUROTYPICAL PEOPLE WITHOUT TRYING AUTISTIC PEOPLE. Cause, for gods sake, thats an extremelly privileged position. For Sia (or whatever on Her position) there is no risk on It. But for actors and actresses might be the chance Of their lifes... Or simply and merelly the money to pay the rent in the end Of Month ..
@@taionalmeida5337 Indeed, it is no risk for Sia, and she even stated that she refused to make anything without Maddie, but she could have cast her as a side character, and still have an autistic person in the main role, it's not like budget was a problem for her.
I own Mary And Max on dvd and got its one of my favorite movies ever. Great movie that portrays Autism well and the movie was made by people who cared enough to make an accurate portrayal of it. I give this 10/10.
When Austism Speak was brought up, I was immediately jolted because I did saw a video of what this organization is doing and... It's horrible. It's just horribly bad. Especially with that PSA they did which I completely remember. But that aside, very great video, my friend! You brought up right points about how Mary and Max showed a right example of autism spectrum in media and how Sia's music shows otherwise.
@@Ne0politan137 To sum it up, they personify autism as like an antagonist entity in the PSA, with an off voice, as it was like a bad thing brought upon your life, going like "I AM AUTISM, I WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE" type of shit. I do have the link to the PSA in question ruclips.net/video/9UgLnWJFGHQ/видео.html As someone posted it on Yt. It's pretty self explanatory. And just as horribly bad!
@@Ne0politan137 I think he is referring to the "I am autism" psa. It got deleted years ago, but to summarize, it potrayed autism as some kind of supervillain, who is "worse than cancer and diabetes" and is "going to ruin your family, your marriage, and make your life insufferable". And the last part of the video, where they show the family saying something like "Autism, there is no place for you here" just makes it worse. It really shows that autism speaks knows nothing about the people they claim to help.
@@herobrinekingmaster there was also the one where, I KID YOU NOT, the mother of an autistic child said that she contemplated for 15 minutes about putting her like 8 year old kid in the car and driving off a bridge. Yes, she contemplated murdering her child! What. The. F**k.
@@herobrinekingmasterthe lines of autism being portrayed as villains, ruining lives and so on made me jaw dropped and ask… WHAT?! Those lines will Just make autistic people feel bad about themselves and that is the best message it gave?! I can proudly declare that Autism speaks either don’t know about it or just don’t care and is just a company that gives fair and bad info and to make things even worse.
I discovered mary and max when I was a pre-teen. Growing up, my family hid my diagnosis from me to "protect" me, so seeing someone like Max going through things I was going through, and having him explain to mary what he went through, it opened my eyes. I asked my family about my diagnosis and expectantly recieved silence, but when I asked my therapist that i have had my entire life, she was shocked they hid it from me. I finally felt like I wasn't alone, because wow, there was a whole movie about what I was going through, and it wasn't just some candy coated crap to make me feel bad about myself for not being a "perfect autistic person" like the media portrays. Mary & Max is a very humane way of portraying autism, without sacrificing dignity and humility. It shows the bright, the dark, and the bittersweet, and how the world sees us. It made me feel seen and heard. Now I am 22 in ~2 weeks and re-watching this movie makes me feel seen and heard again, and I just wish more places in the media took notes from this movie for their own reference.
@@princesspikachu3915 i agree. Thats what i'm saying, it did more harm than good for my diagnosis to be hidden from me. Thats also why the movie Mary and Max was so important to me growing up, because it helped me realize i was not alone, or a "freak" and i didn't "need fixing" :)
@@truthseeker7815 for me, once i discovered the name of my diagnosis i didn't feel so alone anymore. It made me discover that there were other people like me, and that i wasnt a "freak of nature" and gave me the opportunity to find community and friends. It also helped me explain to others what I'm going through more clearly, and gave me direction to get treatment through therapy. In shorter words, it helped me in many ways to find out my diagnosis. If i knew sooner, maybe i wouldn't have tried to kill myself so many times before i found out, even as early as 8 years old.
I'm diagnosed with autism and i just saw the music scene today It made me sick It made me mad And it makes all the more grateful that films like Mary and Max exist. Keep up the good work man
An animation may be easier to make because it wont expose the actors/actresses to any harmful environments or lighting. You just need the voice acting.
That, or an Autistic that is naturally *heavily* sensory seeking (probably with a comorbity of ADHD) and well-experienced in high stimuli environments to the point of not minding the pain as long as there's a butt load of good stimuli around to reward them... LOL.
I live with my fiances family and her brother has autism. He's 22 but he's around the maturity level of a 15-16 year old. Talking with him is just like talking with anyone else accept you might think "he's a little awkward". He doesn't get social ques very well and he's easily distracted. The interesting thing is that he's obsessed with guns and gun history (but in a healthy way. He just likes to teach about guns and gun safety). Name literally any gun from any country and he'll tell you who invented it, why/when they invented it, what ammo type it takes, and multiple facts about it. It's really impressive and interesting how with anything else in life he has a hard time keeping focus and generally struggles a bit with things. But guns and their history he has impeccable memory and focus.
iirc mental age is an ableist system put in place by people who don’t want to accept that disabled people should have the same rights non disabled adults have, but idk. I’m autistic and I feel younger than I am sometimes lol
oh man, I love Mary and Max :D it's such a bittersweet movie. Also, fun fact, the director Adam Elliott actually based it on his own childhood experience having a pen pal from America who was an Aspie. Ofc He didn't write a book, but made the movie instead :D oh yeah and Sia's Music is an awful, awful film
Yeah with the Mary and max it sweet and I think that’s the reason why he did so much work to get it just right in respect for his friend, you really connect when you learn that fact
I think why so many autistic people, myself included, dislike the idea of needing to be 'fixed' is because unlike anxiety or depressive disorders which mostly just have negative effects on the individual, being autistic is more like an entire personality reshuffle coming with its own ups and downs. Trying to extract the autism part would basically feel like trying to completely change who the individual is as a person.
I personally fear to lose my personallity, when getting 'fixed'. I like my personallity, I have had it my whole live. I don't want to get 'fixed' if there ever will be a 'cure'. Like you said, it isn't negative, so losing it would feel like losing your loved ones.
As an autistic person myself, I was so glad when I discovered this movie back in 2014! Another thing I'd like to bring up that 'Mary and Max' does far better than 'Music' (or rather with Sia herself specifically) is how to apologize for committing ablism-or just apologizing in general. Sia got called out numerous times for the movie BEFORE it was released, and got super defensive and deflective against the criticisms. She issued a few public "I'm sorry's" that held very little (if any weight). She said it after the news got out that he got a neurotypical to play an autistic character (after she got so nasty as to tell someone who said that there were plenty of autistic actors available for a role like this with "Maybe you're a bad actor".) Then she said "sorry" again after the restraint scene went viral, and promised to remove it from the film (which still has not happened to this date). And she said "sorry" yet again after submitting the film to the Golden Globes and getting a nomination for it! Saying "I'm sorry" this many times, and only WHILE trying to reap all the benefits for the thing one is called out on, is an example of a fake (or at least insincere) apology. With Mary, on the other hand, the film does actively acknowledge that the fact that he had good intentions when she wrote her book on Max and offered to help "cure" him of his autism, doesn't make what she did right. (Her ex-husband Damien even elaborates to her how "She's not a magic beauty queen who can smooth over the world and get rid of its wrinkles".) But she handled it much more graciously after she got the signal that Max cut his ties with her. Even though her book was getting massive critical reviews and would have launched her a new career and a promising future for her, she went right ahead and destroyed every copy of it before it got published out of respect for Max. As big a mistake as she made writing the book in the first place, that was a sacrifice that really proved how she cared more about Max than herself, even though he no longer considered him her friend. And then after that, she sent him the can of sweetened condensed milk (remembering how he told her that he always wanted to try one), she wrote a simple I'M SORRY on the front of it (not adding any excuses or pleas for forgiveness), and lets that be her final exchange with him on her part. She does go through a time where she hopes that he might forgive her, but she ultimately respects that he has every right not to. She essentially leaves the ball in his court, which is the best way you can apologize to anyone PERIOD! And when Max does forgive her, he elaborates that "we can't choose our warts, but we can choose our friends". And that the best thing that Mary could do for him was not try to "fix" or "cure" him, but just be there for him and be his friend. (And you'd think that 'Mary and Max' would be a film Sia would at least have heard about it, given that it's Australian just like she is!) As for other autistic characters in media that I think are respectable portrayals, the first example that comes into my head is Julia from 'Sesame Street'.
@@skyandstar00Army? I think Jack has ADHD but I suppose he could be on the spectrum as well. Though I have my suspicions about Bingo because of certain scenes I find relatable.
I'm so glad that I found the clip of Max describing Asperges syndrome to be extremely relatable. having been diagnosed with asperges and adhd at an early age, it's really clear to know that there's just always a difference between how I would act compared to how others would act. There have always been times in conversation where I stay extremely silent just listening to how other people talk and interact with each other compared to how I talk and interact with other people. basically having my own conscience call me out for how I act around others and how I look like a crazy person.
this, 10000%. I am ADHD, my love is on the spectrum.....eldest child is ADHD, youngest is on the spectrum, still learning with youngest's twin. We were raised in that Xennial generation (1978-1985) where "autism" was automatically "Rain Man" or "Ur a ReEEEe-ReeeEE!!!".......our parents saw it as a source of shame and didn't talk about it, or pretended "there is no problem", just that we were "odd" kids. It's a SPECTRUM. Everyone has a different experience. Hearing Max's description of Asperger's hit the nail on the head.
As someone who is also an aspie, the movie mary and max is one of my favorites. Max portrays someone with asbergers very well and i relate so much to him, especially the part where he says he likes being an aspie. My family knows i have asbergers, but since i learned i had it quite recently, it’s been a little hard for them to adjust. Not that they aren’t trying, and not that it’s really hard, it’s just that there’s so little to change that they just tend to forget. Like, my older brother is a bit of a hugger, and while i know he means well and i try my best to humour him, i always feel like im being constricted and have to remind him to let go. Or sometimes i lose focus when someone is talking to me and wander off. And much like max, i also get upset when someone says i should “fix my problems.” I don’t have problems. A problem would be something that is a detriment to someone else. If someone says that to me, they they’re really just saying that i’m being a problem to them. If anything, they should be the one to fix their problems if they think im the one who needs to change. I’m glad i’m an aspie, so that i’m not considered “average” or “normal.” Being normal stinks if it just means you’re like everyone else. Also, the “music” movie was absolutely terrible, and sia should’ve been reprimanded for publisizing something with such complete misinformation and awful directions it went. The scene where they were pinning her down to calm her gave me a mix of anger and anxiety. Not even someone without autism would want someone pinning you down to try to “calm you down.” Whoever thought that was a good idea was in idiot.
With the restraing scene. They were basically teaching people to treat a non-verbal autistic person like they are a 7-foot drug user on a murderous rampage.
Former student of guiding hands school here. i just wanted to thank you for addressing what happened to Max. What happened to him was horrific and still to this day saddens me to think about. I personally was put into a "restraint" several times while attending and I can personally attest that it was not only painful but also extremely humiliating and horribly degrading. Not to mention these "restraints" could last anywhere up to four to six hours at max. I personally hope that those three bastards rot in hell for what they put so many people through.
Pretty sure he went to this school called sierra before guiding hands and was in my class. I didn’t know about anything until I saw something about it on tv a couple years ago and I was just shocked. Sierra wasn’t a good behavioral school and still isn’t. There definitely should be more public outreach on what these schools get away with.
@@Cove666 feel like people just feel weird out by these austic people so they instead of ignoring like adult should do they do anything and put more effort that actually wouldn't solve any of the student problem and oh also power fantasy but eh I am not austictic.... maybe idk
I have autism. And once when I was a younger, I had a meltdown similar to music, so my dad walked me outside and played my favourite Disney short, instead of letting someone hold me down and crush my little body in attempt to calm me down.
What a good dad you have ❤ I think it's clear that he knew you had Autism Too bad even though I am VERY confident that have ADHD and Autism, and believe my brother and mother have Autism too (although they, of course, have slightly different symptoms from me), my family does not seem to know what being a neurodivergent person means and what one looks and acts like. Yet, that is.
@@TheSammyGShow Yea also like i don't get how they managed to do it so Autism speaks is like a website or whatever you said in the video and the videos were just mind blowing like what was their point???
I have autism, and I agree that Music is the most offensive and atrocious film ever made towards the autistic. And with how Sia responded to everything, I have no idea why her career didn’t end with her angering the mentally disabled. Meanwhile Mary & Max, purely brilliant! One of the best stop motion animated films, one of Australia’s best films, literally fantastic film!
I an autistic person, I was never strangled to the ground by teachers or SSO's so the fact that non autistic think it's a good idea to kill someone while having a breakdown is both brutal and disguising. Update: I was told that when I went to Solomon Town primrey school, one time I was rolled up into a mat when I overstimulated, but looking back, I wasn't that brutal as in music THANK GOD!!.
Same. Guess I should be a little more thankful for the experiences I had growing up. I think the only reason this didn't happen to me was because I was scared shitless of authority, and naturally, pissing off the teacher was the last thing on my mind.
@@weegee42069My husband is the same. He isn’t diagnosed with ADHD but I’m convinced he has it. He forgets easily when distracted. I have it too and while I’m not as forgetful I do forget things if I get distracted and it’s not something I’m used to doing. Yes I forget what I’m supposed to be doing sometimes. 😂😭
I would cure my adhd in a heartbeat as well. I've spent my entire life figuring out how to cope with it. 20+ years just to be able to do stuff like "remember to brush my hair before work" and "be able to complete a routine with a minor change without completely forgetting the whole routine." It's exhausting. I'm not neurodivergent, I have a neurodevelopmental disorder that has fundamentally changed the way my brain can learn and handle basic life skills. I even have issues with object permanence, something that literal toddlers have mastered!
@@theonlyabberdabber tell me about it. The unrelenting passage of time vs produce in the fridge is an on going battle of mine that may continue until my grave.
I know, and my channel has never gotten this many views, maybe I should do more animated film reviews and media depicting autism. I enjoy it and so does RUclips. Thanks for watching.
I'm on the spectrum and have been restrained like shown on Music, but literally multiple adults at the same time sitting and laying on me at the same time like it's some protocol, well my mom also forced me to go into a "treatment" center through weekdays and she'd pick me up on weekends, the only thing this helped me with is that i will treat my children way better than what my mom did to me because i now have a lot of unresolved trauma that is now debilating my "normal" functions and now that i'm an adult i seem "fine". Why do people think that people who aren't their kind of norm should be treated way differently? As what you stated in the video with "I have to adapt to you too" which is true, it shouldn't mean that someone should be going through such an experience. Anyway, howdy strangers and i hope you enjoyed the read!
I'm honestly really surprised all of this passed by me. I didn't even know this crap existed until a couple days ago. I can't help but think HOW ANYONE INVOLVED thought this was okay to publish. I have an autistic sister and this is such an insult. But great video, very informative. I'll definitely give Mary and Max a try :)
What personally makes me love Mary and Max so much more is seeing Max not only get angry, but realize his rage went too far and apologized to Mary in sending his whole Noblet collection and a letter. It may not be an outright apology but man, this shines a light that autistic people in media rarely show: Being human and making mistakes/being flawed, not making them out to be too special or naive to make them in the first place.
I'm autistic, it took me almost two decades to accept that fact. (I thought, "I'm not autistic, I'm not retarded like them."). I grew up in an enviroment where people thought my condition made me defective (Retarded) and strange, I was stigmatized and isolated more than my peers. Now, I wear the label with pride, those words came from ignorance and intolerance. I celebrate what I am, who I am, there will never be a person like me or you. I refuse to spend the rest of my life fretting about how I'm perceived by neurotypicals, if I'm owed one thing in life it's my own respect for myself and people like me. I will exist as I am with pride, and I hope other autistic people will as well, we are human beings too despite how the neurotypicals see us.
I have ADHD and anxiety, yet my classmates still dehumanize me and call me an NPC.. The reason behind this is my introverted behavior and no friends. I was a friend of a girl that constantly told everyone about her relationship with me. And she snapped when we had an argument in messenger. Nowadays, she cusses at me and harasses me every single day. I have a terrible life. I can't even think about being proud of being on autistic spectrum or being a bisexual. I wish I could simply go away like a bad omen.
When I loose control I don’t flail or anything, my body just shuts off but before this happens I yell at people who come close to me. If they grab me or try to grab me I just shut off and pass out, when I wake up I feel awful. I had never heard of people thinking it’s ok to restrain people when this is happening and I am shocked.
Need more red “X’s” on Music. In fact I wish that movie was never made. It’s the only film I believe should become “lost media” except I wish any evidence of its existence would become “lost” as well. And I’m a person who cares about media preservation as it’s a special interest of mine.
Right? I feel so bad for the actress and then the woman told her when she was crying that SHE WAS DOING A GOOD THING??? This woman is shameless actually what was the point of Sia?
I have high-functioning autism. I got the diagnosis very late, when I was around 13, I think. Sadly, I also dealt with childhood trauma in the highest possible order. My mother was an alcoholic druggie who hardly helped me and my two sisters, constantly conditioning us to be afraid of our adoptive dad. Despite that, people tell me I'm gifted, I'm very creative, smart and a musical genius. The only things keeping me from being any better than I am are my flashbacks to my past. My weakness is my memory. I'm 17 now, turning 18 this september. I struggle with depression, my poor social skills (even though they're not that severe) aren't helping. IMO, and this is VERY personal, autism is not a superpower as many like to claim, it is a handicap, at least for me. To anyone else with autism, I feel you. It's all about learning to cope. Stay strong, all of you.
Ok pause… I had to pause. After the scene with Maddie, & as you’re explaining it I start getting those anxious feelings , & felt so sad by the idea of what that just feel like to have someone hold you down … then the student.. I can’t even find the words. Is it safe to unpause this now , my god.. that’s why videos like this one are so important! People need to be educated!
This actually makes a ton of sense since both my ears are recovering from infection and only the left one has healed for the most part so i thought it was normal
I love how passionate you are with the autism spectrum and how determined you are to defend it. As a person with autism myself, I understand what it's like to be seen or portrayed in a negative light. Mary and Max (Although I haven't seen it yet, but will soon since I noticed you can watch it for free with ads here on RUclips. I hope they never remove it from the "free with ads" list because this is a film that should be readily available for anyone and everyone willing to watch it.) is an underrated gem that should never, under any circumstances be taken with a grain of salt. And from this video alone, I felt inspired to subscribe to your channel because sometimes; it only takes one video, with a very passionate and caring person behind it, to make a big difference in someone's life. This video is proof to me that one-hit wonders still exist today and more people than 38K should watch this video and see the pure passion and care I saw in you today. Keep up the stellar work and may God bless you.
I had a doctor talk to me about being autistic, due to my issues of understanding emotions. I understand them factually, but not emotionally. I can't comfort or properly understand someone unless they tell me. If I get too strong of an emotion, I will do something I shouldn't to myself. Mary and Max made me not feel as weird as I am and nothing is wrong with me in a bad way.
I loved Mary and max so much, it made me cry (or tear up basically, because I have a hard time crying to films that make me sad, like Max does) I think it was one of the greatest representations of autism I’ve seen, and specifically Asperger’s. Especially with how the film never pulled back any punches, it was blunt with what having Asperger’s can make you feel, and how you’re constantly disconnected with society’s way of thinking, and I love that because it feels like that pain is never represented, it’s always sugarcoated to hell and back. Also that scene in that other film was freaking atrocious, like that’s just straight up a torture method made specifically for autistic people. And the adults were acting like complete buffoons being all like “I’m NOt dOInG it yOU do It” like as if they see the poor girl as some pet with no emotions, it’s so morbid.
I recently myself(less than a week ago) found out i was autistic and was looking more into autism as i realized how little i knew about it.Well looking into the horror that is autism speaks I found out about Sia's Music.After that horrible portrayal of autism I went on to look at autism in modern media and found Mary and Max.Watched it today and it was the most beautiful film I had ever watched.I related to Max on a lot of things and think it would be a good watch for anyone wanting to learn about how life may be for a neurodivergent individual.(edit:Mary and Max is free on Tubi Tv)
I have autism, and I had parents who are AMAZING at dealing with me, but my dad went through a phase where he felt like he had to hold me down in order to help me. It was not helping me. I felt like I had to use self defense against him because, of course, I couldn’t think straight, like I was being held down by a grizzly bear. Eventually my mom had to take charge and let him know how this was actually a terrible, TERRIBLE idea. Now I’m less prone to things like meltdowns, I love both of my parents, and I play video games with my dad after he’s home from work, as well as go out to eat with my mom, thinking about drawing pictures with her since she has an art minor.
I found Mary & Max a few years back while looking for something to watch on a steaming network. I loved it! The characters are so well written/acted and the animation is superb!
@@NAbreu-yu4dtprobably just has to do with the microphone. If it gets really bad for you, I suggest turning down the volume and turning up the speed, so you can get through it faster.
I've heard from a lot of old people that they regret having have spent their lives trying to appease others and try to fit in. In that sense I feel autism is freeing. People will consider you weird and you'll end up isolated but you're free to do and like whatever you want; Uncaring what the world might think. Like a wise man once said "I'm cringe but I'm free"
As someone with mild autism I saw my disability as a gift, I thought of it as something that made me feel more unique than other people, but after hearing the quote Max said at 4:36 made me love my disability more and I felt more happy to have it, thank you Max for making me love my disability more
As someone on the spectrum. When too much noise is around- I don't hit my head and start yelling "AughHugahha" I mostly cover my ears and think- (lil' bit of swearing here) "Oh My God, Please shut the fuck up-", I disliked the representation that the movie " Music " had. On the other hand, I really liked the portrait of people on the spectrum,(in the other movie by the way.) because it may have a dark theme. Literally- like colour wise. It was very comfortable in some way to hear those words "I don't need a cure, I like being an aspie (etc cuz Ik can't remember the rest) " Which really hit me-
You should watch the “other movie” Mary and Max. It’s just over an hour long and is currently free on RUclips if you haven’t watched it yet. It’s so relatable. I also relate to Max and his hang up with littering.😅
I am sorry if this video feels a bit rushed, but time was running out with Autism Awareness Month. I really REALLY wished I made this sooner and with more love.
To be fair, the only real issue with this video is the audio balancing. Don't get me wrong, my left ear enjoyed it a lot, but my right ear would have liked to hear your voice as much as the left one did.
Restraining people with autism freaks us out fear turns to anger and anger detonates with violence it’s not because we want to hurt others but it’s because who’ve been pushed into a corner with nothing to lose and where pretty dam strong
I’ve seen a lot of videos on music, but I’ve never seen the full scene, and my god. I will say though, I really like your art. Your expressions are very vibrant
Yep, this...act happened TWICE in the film! It was just painful and annoying. Thank you!! I will remember that, I want to make more videos like this in the future and I have some ideas but I need some help to promote them as well as advise me on what I should do.
Music is one of those rare films that I outright refuse to watch. Not just because I don't want to financially support ableism on film, but because I just know it will get my blood boiling.
10:54 This. This was my coping strategy for years, and still somewhat is now. When I get stressed, I would run to the bathroom and hide there for a few minutes until I calmed down
I honestly don’t feel bad when people say it’s a disorder. I’m probably the exception to that rule. I have accepted something most “Aspie’s” aren’t willing to accept. I have accepted that autism is, in some respects, an illness. It can’t be “cured.” But I can see that it is, in some respects, a curse upon my life. I like that it gives me a different perspective of the world, but it makes my social anxiety and general uncomfortableness among large crowds of strangers fly high through the roof. I am scared of people, even ones who I am good friends with and have known for years. I write quite freely about my thoughts here on RUclips, but when it comes to actual talk, I am unusually timid. I would gladly cure myself of that social disadvantage, if I could. I like that my memory skills are enhanced by autism, but I really hate that my social difficulties will probably never end for me, and I will always feel a certain “fight or flight” response trigger when I’m in a room full of chatting people. The chatting itself scares me more than the people scare me. It’s like thousands of super-computers are in the same room and they are passing massive loads of information to each other at the blink of an eye. And every time they do it, I hear the sound of an alarm clock or a beeping watch go off. It both fascinates and terrifies me. I so much want to be a part of this beautiful thing! But I will always have a rockier road to travel than most, because of the sensory overload, and this instinctive, undying fear, that is a common symptom among autistic persons. That bad part of autism is just as much a part of it as the good things. That’s why, to my mind, it’s a disorder, and not just a matter of “neurodivergence” as has become recently popular.
The term "neurodivergent" has mostly been taken over by self diagnosed fakers that just want to feel special and have just the "quirky" party of it and dont actually meet the diagnostic criteria. I refuse to use the term or the symbols because of this.
Well I think that’s the whole point behind “warts and all”. It’s as much of a blessing as it is a curse. I still don’t want to be cured though. As much as I don’t like “the warts” that having Asperger’s/ASD brings to the table I can’t imagine not having those struggles. It’s shaped me and who I am and I don’t want to be rid of any of it.
I agree. I am neurodivergent. I am disabled. This does not make me cute, or quirky, or superior, or trendy (thanks TikTok). It quite literally negatively affects my ability to live and cope in this world. I'm tired of people acting like I'm Hitler for acknowledging that my disability is literally a dis-ability.
As someone with autism I really appreciate you making this video, it was a delight to hear your inside perspective along with the contrast of two almost polar opposite movies.
As an autistic person with high functioning I am incredibly intelligent in my year bit I lack communication and processing issues. I think the hardest part is just accepting it
Brother im still in that phase of trying to accept myself. The problem with "high functioning" is that im constantly aware of my autistic traits like stimming and even worse things. I wish i was "low" functioning so i could at least accept it with ignorant bliss.
It’s a strange feeling when you think you have something that, to be honest, feels like nobody can understand…then I see something like these animations describing it perfectly. It’s incredible.
So here's this lovely horror film called Come Play that has a non-verbal autistic boy and his mother as the protagonists. I really liked the kid in this movie. He's just a normal kid, but he's working on a couple things. He even has a smartphone that helps him communicate so he has a voice in the movie. I fully recommend it if you want a movie with a non-verbal autistic lead that doesn't suck.
I've had a few kids in daycares I've worked in and it's always a new task finding what calms and centers their little minds and hearts. For one it was allowing him to sit on my lap while I massaged his calves. For another he liked when I blew gently into his ear from behind (go figure) we called it his ocean breeze lol. Just like with ANY kiddo you have to get down to their level and find the key to their happiness. It's always hard but the victory at the end is SOOOO worth it!!!
I'm a few years late, but that "didn't cast an autist to act" part irked me. You don't have to be gay, straight, or autistic to play a character. What matters is the director and the people telling you what to do. Hell, in animation and voice acting it especially dosan't matter. I am not an expert when it comes to the American film industry, but I do have experience acting as an extra here in . Seeking someone out solely on their sexuality, disability, religion, etc instead of their acting skill and fittingness for the role is very much nasty.
my nephews non verbal, everyone around him treats him like he's 2 when he's 7, he's like every other 7 year old and he's brilliant at macaton sign language but people treat him like a toddler and i think he hates it, even my sister does and shes his mum, hes just a really sweet wholesome kid who can't speak and brightens up every room
I was diagnosed in the first few days in 2021. I remember being confused about it because it never really seemed like it, but then you realize that many on the spectrum are likely dealing with awareness issues. Relationships seem like a hassle for me to handle And I get easily down mooded from change
i vividly remember being pinned down to the floor by two teachers at a time in school. many many times. it was a very stressful experience every time it happened. i can't believe anyone approved that torture method to be portrayed as a good thing.
The way autism tends to be portrayed in media, is what made me refuse to acknowledge that I'm on the spectrum until literally this year. I didn't want to have anything to do with that overblown overly dramatic stereotype of what autistic people are like. Now, thanks to my partner and their friends, a lot of whom happen to be some flavour of ND, I'm starting to realize how far from the truth those portrayals are... It took 20 years, but I'm finally able to understand why I am the way I am, and can communicate it to people. And there's nothing wrong with it. There's nothing wrong with me becoming unable to speak when I'm stressed, but there's everything wrong with people around me taking it as a personal insult, and yeah, that kept happening to me. Good representation is so important, and bad representation so horrible, because it makes it harder for people like me to accept part of themselves, and just makes life for us so so much harder...
Hey Sammy when you showed this scene 8:58 I actually watched this trailer yesterday and you show this I felt so scared to show I even cried because I was scared 😨😭
If I were to write “music” here’s what I would do. First, change her name to “melody”. The story is about Melody trying to cope in a sudden change of having to live with her sister after her grandmother died from her perspective. Her sister is underprepared and treats Melody like a pet rather than taking the actual time to understand her and her needs. At first she reads some outdated information about the disorder but it backfires after Melody has a meltdown and gets injured when her sister tries to restrain her. Melody quickly becomes scared of her sister and refuses to even go near her now out of fear of getting hurt. Her sister feels awful about this as now she’s realizing that she is out of her league in this one and is debating on whether she should risk putting Melody into a home for special needs children that can help Melody but risk stressing her out in this new environment, or try and look after her on her own. After lamenting this to her friend, she learns that he is also autistic and helps her learn how to adapt to Melody’s needs and be able to communicate with her. After a while the sister finally is able to connect with Melody although small, it is progress and the movie ends on a hopeful note that as time goes on things will get better.
I think more people should watch movies Mary and Max to better understand not just autism but mental health in general. In my country any mental health most especially autism is heavily frown upon and something to hide I once had an cousin who was autistic and he was spoken upon with whispers and rumors like he was a dangerous animal. Also one case while I was taken an IQ test another cousin ask if I was diagnosed with a mental disorder or something because I went to a psychologist.
i don’t mean to pry, but as an aspire trying to better understand what aspires elsewhere in the world are going through, do you mind specifying which country you are talking about? (praying it’s not france - no hard feelings towards you if it is, but i hear it’s hell [capital h?] there for aspies) if this is too personal a question i can drop it
I’m also higher functioning on the spectrum and recently graduated with a Deploma in game development and I eventually hope to work with a team to develop a game that’s based on the infrastructure of my mind itself and is a great showcase of how many people on the spectrum function and the mental control strategies that allowed me to have increased awareness and control over my mind and it’s functions. It could possibly also even inspire many industries at best while showcasing if someone on the spectrum was used as the initial base for a sentient AI that was used in a large amount of machines but each one was still unique with their own unique variations in their personality traits. I was pretty much also deeply inspired by these bad representations of autism in the media to want to eventually work on the best representation of someone on the spectrum as possible! I’ve also observed that many people including employers have been strongly influenced by those bad representations of autism in the media and have been secretly refusing to hire us as a result which is seemingly surprisingly common by my current observations but I do eventually hope to change that for the better as in reality many of us can do those jobs better and more efficiently than most other neurotypical people! :)
@@TheSammyGShow Yup I’m really dreaming of eventually making it a reality! It would also be the best of futuristic designs from the 1980s as it would take place in an underground facility that was abandoned in 1989! However that facility was at the top of the world in technology and innovations prior to them being shut down so it’s almost like a future we dreamed of back then! :)
A couple of years ago, I went to a college unit for students with Autism. It was separate from the college itself in the middle of a working farm behind the campus. I could name several instances where this place didn't do what it promised to do, such as coddling those on the lower functioning end, but I'll focus on one particular story for now. I was coming back from a nice walk with my class, when I saw another class coming out of one of the two buildings our unit consisted of. I noticed the lesson wasn't yet over, so I asked what was going on. One student said to me that another student had a meltdown over being told to put away his Switch, and he had started throwing things and flipping tables. Instead of moving that one student away to help him calm down, the teachers decided to remove the rest of the class, thus hindering their learning. I found that to be super unfair. As a result of word spreading about this, one class representative decided at the next meeting that Switch systems should be banned from the unit because people couldn't put them away when it was time for class. 3 of the class reps, including me, were people who actually could put them away, so his argument was pretty one sided. It's crazy how much can happen from one little moment of chaos.
as a person who has a lil ‘tism myself i’m absolutely disgusted by the restraining scene in Sia’s Music, but for Mary and Max, is literally the best representation of autism in the 21st century,
I got diagnosed with autism recently at age 36. The restraining scene just made me cry. I can't believe they wrote, filmed, and released that
They did such a thing with me as i was 8 years old.
A rip broke in my chest.
That was not nice.
Yep I had a “meltdown” from overstimulation recently, my mom just stepped on my hair so I couldn’t escape, and yelled at me about how ridiculous I am. I kinda feel ashamed saying meltdown because it makes me seem like a spoiled child, but I don’t know. I’m tired of them not understanding that I do have autism, and I’m going to need special care. They won’t let me turn off lights, and they don’t let me turn down the tv, and everyone yells really loud to try to overstimulate me because they think it’s funny. I’ve been having to sleep outside because I don’t really have a room to go to, and it’s really cold here. I think I might just kill myself because I don’t know what else to do
@@Sprigatito1234 there is so much more to life than this, I came from a very similar family and ended up escaping. As someone who has attempted more than once, one hospitalizing me, its not worth it. It's never worth it. You are your own person and you deserve to live, you won't be with them forever you'll find a support group and things will get better. You just have to give it the chance to get better first.
@@Sprigatito1234That sounds like abuse. Is there any way you can try to tough it out a little longer instead of doing “that thing”? I have had to deal with people who seem like they’re trying to trigger meltdowns and burnout on purpose. Hopefully you can find some sort of “quiet place” to hide when toxic people are causing you problems. Stay strong and I’m sorry you have to put up with this situation.
@@Sprigatito1234
I'm tired too, when I have severe meltdowns I just get laughed at or they tell me to stop acting. Last time I had one they threw me in the shower with ice cold water, this sucks so much
Fun fact;
Mary and Max was actually inspired by the creator's own personal experience with their pen-pal who he had written with for over twenty years! This is why it feels so authentic and had such a great representation. It's a love letter to his friend in New York, who he respected.
And the pen-pal was actually happy with the representation of autism and liked the movie.
@@dominiklis6261 as the pen-pal had asperger's syndrome
As an actual autistic woman myself, I was, and am still, disgusted by Music and the way it portrays autism. I probably have to track down Mary and Max and watch it.
@@princesspikachu3915 Oh yeah, I should do that 😄
I highly recommend it. I’m an adult with Asperger’s and thought it was great
Reminds me of a trend on TikTok were they make fun of disabled people
@@Springboi101 well it is Tiktok, the users are brain dead
@@Springboi101 wait that happened?? Man I hate TikTok
As someone with Autism, I can't express enough how offended I was at Sia's movie. I do feel so bad for Maddie because she was really upset and didn't want to offend anyone. She's young and was exploited and I just feel so bad for her.
Mary and Max on the other hand I found extremely sad and it portrayed a much more realistic and inoffensive portrayal of Autism
Yes I agree though I am not proud to have autism I’ve been socially handicapped by it. I wish I was happy but it’s hard.
Me too. everything you said I relate with.
yup very true
@@Fatherblahajyou know what I do? As someone who has unfortunately been diagnosed with this stuff. What I do is that I separate myself from it all. Be the solo wolf rather than living in the pack. If you understand what I’m saying.
I fucking hate being touched unprompted and somehow my mother still fuckin does it lmfao
I may not be autistic, but the restraining scene made me want to cry. It’s horrible how this is a real thing that people do. I have a cousin, he’s autistic and I thought of him. He doesn’t like being touched. Instead of hugs at family gatherings, he gives high fives. No one forces him to hug anyone because it would make him uncomfortable. I imagined how terrified he would be if someone held him down and yelled at him to calm down. I mean, imagine if you were already uncomfortable with general touch, then, while you were already terrified and overwhelmed by your surroundings, being held down and yelled at. It’s terrifying and sad how people think this is the right approach to this.
Showing this is the equivalent of showing a parent beating their kid and the parent being presented like the good guy
thanks you for supporting this man and understanding why it is so wrong even though your don't have to deal with autism which I mentally make into a cat
That doesn’t have to do anything with autism. The "Never tell an angry person to stay calm" applies to everyone
@@JavierEscuella1911, that’s how it is for some people…
@truthseeker7815 It does have to do with autism! Autistic people are more like to be sensitive to touch as well as the other senses. People often force autistic kids to "behave better" by holding them down and yelling at them to be better. Ignoring the mistreatment of autistic people is why people think autistic people don't ever experience it and think "but everyone doesn't like that" instead.
I am not autistic but my jaw dropped at that restraint scene. I know people have died from restraints like that, I have experienced seizures and yes I had one experience where people attempted to restrain me as I seized! I was not concious but other people witnessed it and stopped it, thank God! I can't believe so many people are ignorant to the dangers. And not only that but this portrayal of autism felt like a caricature, especially when it was literally the actress pretending to act that way. And that actress was so young and didnt even feel right about doing it herself. WTF. I feel terrible for that girl. It's not like she could just break the contract. She will always be known for acting in that movie and she didn't even want to...
That reminds me, we had a sick kitten and had a babysitter at our house. It was warm because it was sick, so the babysitter put it in the refrigerator to cool it down. Some people just have no intuition for what they're doing.
@@JACKHARRINGTON she seems like the type to boil cold water because it boils faster
@@JACKHARRINGTONwas the kitten ok after?
@@JACKHARRINGTON she's the type of person to push a pull door and get mad thinking it's broken
@@JACKHARRINGTON, she may be an engineer
The other problem with Music is that even if they did cast a neurodivergent actress to play Music, it still would not fix the screenplay, which doesn’t treat Music like a person, more like a prop.
That's the main problem of this movie. "Music" isn't a character, she is just there to give the main character a story and motivation, and I'm kind of happy that they didn't cas a naurodivergent actress because i can guarantee that said actress would have a horrible time being on set.
@@dominiklis6261 plus she would be ridiculed and make people really not want to hire special needs actors.
@@dominiklis6261 plus it’s so ironic that Sia called this movie her love letter to autistic people when she is clearly not patient or cooperative with autistic people and willing to accommodate to their needs. And based on how Maddie is acting here, it’s clear that Sia wanted a severely autistic person for the character.
I liked how getting mail from Mary would make Max panic initially-not because I enjoyed watching him panic, but because it's realistic for a character with autism to be upset by that. New experiences can be scary for people on the spectrum; our daily existence is stressful to begin with. If we continue to interact with you willingly, that can mean a lot more than NTs tend to assume it does.
That scene at the end made me feel both sad and happy. He had passed away smiling up at the letters that he had filed away on the ceiling. The narrator said previously that he laments and files the letters in a “proper place”. And it was probably best that he passed before meeting his friend. The stress and the fact that Mary had her very young baby with her. As much as I enjoy visitors myself I always feel a need to “detox” from others no matter how much I love them. My own household is fine though.
Sia: acts as if it's sweet and cute and sugar coats itself to the point one could die of diabetes
Mary and Max: feels bittersweet, cold, weird, and has the exact feeling of living, warts and all
Oh wait, I wrote Sia instead of Music, eh same thing
I don't think Sia is a bad person, I just think she had misunderstood autists like most people do. Being quick to demonize her for being misinformed is not the answer.
I think she should do more research on the subject before making movies, and then she could have a better idea about us and realize that autistic people want to be understood, not patronized.
@@michaelcs4183 I agree. I haven’t seen the full film, but I have seen some clips and it’s like facing what doctors saw in my future when they told my mom I can never live a normal life and that all I’m meant to be is a resident in a facility pumped full of medication. Well, thanks to mom moving mountains in prayer for me, I graduated highschool and college, and I work in the same college so you can say Jesus has other plans. I think Sia should talk to people like Temple Grandin for research because Temple herself is autistic so that the misconceptions would be truly debunked.
I agree, heck; I was upset at her at first but thanks for making me realize that. But at the same time, I’m still a little upset at her for being an “Ableist”? I’m not sure, but still. I even still listen her music. Especially with her together song.
I agree
As the parent of an autistic child, I almost cried and was so horrified when I saw Music get held down like that. It made me think of my own son in that situation, and it made the scene even worse in my eyes.
You don’t have to be autistic to play an autistic person. But you should probably get some to help out. Great video thanks. Going to watch marry and max soon
True, but it can come across as offensive even if your depiction is well-studied and is to some extent an accurate depiction because we all can never fully understand how autism works and an outside look, while well-intended, might not have the best outcome. I will try and look at other portrayals of autism and keep in mind the director's (and actor's) intentions when reviewing. Thanks for watching.
I feel that at the very least the writer should be autistic in that case though, because even with extended research I feel that you can't really make a proper non offensive portrayal about autism. I really like Abed from community and even though Danny Pudi isn't autistic, the writer Dan Harmon (who, fun fact, actually got diagnosed while researching the character because he noticed the similarities) is on the spectrum.
I've heard Abed be mentioned as good portrayal before, don't know if yall here agree but he's a really likable and well written character.
I believe there's certain level Of budget/structure witch would make the decision Of using "any actor" or an autistic actor a thing really important.
Lets say that I try to make a no-budget movie based on my own discovered as an autist Here in Belém do Pará, a city with no professional movie Studios or even Theatre ... Its hard even to find someone who is autistic and has interest/skills on acting ... Cases like this short scale Of production I'm Really ok with people using what they have on hands (as long as with a heart in right place).
The other side is a super production with a gigantic name Of music on It. You can research till the end Of the World and choose An actor or actresses because, probably, find many options would no be that dificult. THATS THE POINT I THINK MUST START TO NOT BE ACCEPTED CAST NEUROTYPICAL PEOPLE WITHOUT TRYING AUTISTIC PEOPLE.
Cause, for gods sake, thats an extremelly privileged position. For Sia (or whatever on Her position) there is no risk on It. But for actors and actresses might be the chance Of their lifes... Or simply and merelly the money to pay the rent in the end Of Month
..
@@taionalmeida5337 Indeed, it is no risk for Sia, and she even stated that she refused to make anything without Maddie, but she could have cast her as a side character, and still have an autistic person in the main role, it's not like budget was a problem for her.
I own Mary And Max on dvd and got its one of my favorite movies ever.
Great movie that portrays Autism well and the movie was made by people who cared enough to make an accurate portrayal of it. I give this 10/10.
I like how Mary had "abnormal behavior" and could relate to Max because his "abnormalities" were just him being himself.
When Austism Speak was brought up, I was immediately jolted because I did saw a video of what this organization is doing and...
It's horrible.
It's just horribly bad.
Especially with that PSA they did which I completely remember.
But that aside, very great video, my friend! You brought up right points about how Mary and Max showed a right example of autism spectrum in media and how Sia's music shows otherwise.
Would you like to inform me what happened in that psa??? Because I literally like swore an oath not to like go upon autism speaks channel what so ever
@@Ne0politan137 To sum it up, they personify autism as like an antagonist entity in the PSA, with an off voice, as it was like a bad thing brought upon your life, going like "I AM AUTISM, I WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE" type of shit.
I do have the link to the PSA in question
ruclips.net/video/9UgLnWJFGHQ/видео.html
As someone posted it on Yt.
It's pretty self explanatory.
And just as horribly bad!
@@Ne0politan137 I think he is referring to the "I am autism" psa. It got deleted years ago, but to summarize, it potrayed autism as some kind of supervillain, who is "worse than cancer and diabetes" and is "going to ruin your family, your marriage, and make your life insufferable". And the last part of the video, where they show the family saying something like "Autism, there is no place for you here" just makes it worse. It really shows that autism speaks knows nothing about the people they claim to help.
@@herobrinekingmaster there was also the one where, I KID YOU NOT, the mother of an autistic child said that she contemplated for 15 minutes about putting her like 8 year old kid in the car and driving off a bridge.
Yes, she contemplated murdering her child! What. The. F**k.
@@herobrinekingmasterthe lines of autism being portrayed as villains, ruining lives and so on made me jaw dropped and ask… WHAT?! Those lines will
Just make autistic people feel bad about themselves and that is the best message it gave?! I can proudly declare that Autism speaks either don’t know about it or just don’t care and is just a company that gives fair and bad info and to make things even worse.
That restraining scene just broke me seriously DO NOT RESTRAIN ANYONE AUTISM OR OTHERWISE
I discovered mary and max when I was a pre-teen. Growing up, my family hid my diagnosis from me to "protect" me, so seeing someone like Max going through things I was going through, and having him explain to mary what he went through, it opened my eyes. I asked my family about my diagnosis and expectantly recieved silence, but when I asked my therapist that i have had my entire life, she was shocked they hid it from me. I finally felt like I wasn't alone, because wow, there was a whole movie about what I was going through, and it wasn't just some candy coated crap to make me feel bad about myself for not being a "perfect autistic person" like the media portrays. Mary & Max is a very humane way of portraying autism, without sacrificing dignity and humility. It shows the bright, the dark, and the bittersweet, and how the world sees us. It made me feel seen and heard. Now I am 22 in ~2 weeks and re-watching this movie makes me feel seen and heard again, and I just wish more places in the media took notes from this movie for their own reference.
I don’t think that diagnosis should ever be hidden. I think it does more harm than good.
@@princesspikachu3915 i agree. Thats what i'm saying, it did more harm than good for my diagnosis to be hidden from me. Thats also why the movie Mary and Max was so important to me growing up, because it helped me realize i was not alone, or a "freak" and i didn't "need fixing" :)
@@d0llbie, how did hiding the diagnosis change anything though? Having a word for your behaviour doesn’t explain it
@@truthseeker7815 for me, once i discovered the name of my diagnosis i didn't feel so alone anymore. It made me discover that there were other people like me, and that i wasnt a "freak of nature" and gave me the opportunity to find community and friends. It also helped me explain to others what I'm going through more clearly, and gave me direction to get treatment through therapy. In shorter words, it helped me in many ways to find out my diagnosis. If i knew sooner, maybe i wouldn't have tried to kill myself so many times before i found out, even as early as 8 years old.
@@Fleeeeesheater, oh… so it’s not a matter of self understanding, but being understood
Damn I sound autistic
I'm diagnosed with autism and i just saw the music scene today
It made me sick
It made me mad
And it makes all the more grateful that films like Mary and Max exist. Keep up the good work man
An animation may be easier to make because it wont expose the actors/actresses to any harmful environments or lighting. You just need the voice acting.
I completely agree with that. That would be more appropriate and more comfortable for the autistic actor.
Agreed
That, or an Autistic that is naturally *heavily* sensory seeking (probably with a comorbity of ADHD) and well-experienced in high stimuli environments to the point of not minding the pain as long as there's a butt load of good stimuli around to reward them... LOL.
I'm a voice actor myself and i know how fun and easy it is... i still enjoy doing silly voices for cartoons specifically my cartoons
I live with my fiances family and her brother has autism. He's 22 but he's around the maturity level of a 15-16 year old. Talking with him is just like talking with anyone else accept you might think "he's a little awkward". He doesn't get social ques very well and he's easily distracted. The interesting thing is that he's obsessed with guns and gun history (but in a healthy way. He just likes to teach about guns and gun safety). Name literally any gun from any country and he'll tell you who invented it, why/when they invented it, what ammo type it takes, and multiple facts about it. It's really impressive and interesting how with anything else in life he has a hard time keeping focus and generally struggles a bit with things. But guns and their history he has impeccable memory and focus.
Is that Fiance's Brother an American, by any Chance?
@@spaghettiisyummy.3623 lmao yes. Very much so
@@spaghettiisyummy.3623 not every gun lover is american.
@@shanimates2588 Aight, Aight, I was just tryna be funny.
iirc mental age is an ableist system put in place by people who don’t want to accept that disabled people should have the same rights non disabled adults have, but idk. I’m autistic and I feel younger than I am sometimes lol
oh man, I love Mary and Max :D it's such a bittersweet movie. Also, fun fact, the director Adam Elliott actually based it on his own childhood experience having a pen pal from America who was an Aspie. Ofc He didn't write a book, but made the movie instead :D
oh yeah and Sia's Music is an awful, awful film
Yeah with the Mary and max it sweet and I think that’s the reason why he did so much work to get it just right in respect for his friend, you really connect when you learn that fact
I think why so many autistic people, myself included, dislike the idea of needing to be 'fixed' is because unlike anxiety or depressive disorders which mostly just have negative effects on the individual, being autistic is more like an entire personality reshuffle coming with its own ups and downs. Trying to extract the autism part would basically feel like trying to completely change who the individual is as a person.
I personally fear to lose my personallity, when getting 'fixed'. I like my personallity, I have had it my whole live. I don't want to get 'fixed' if there ever will be a 'cure'. Like you said, it isn't negative, so losing it would feel like losing your loved ones.
@@Anode-p2v life*
autism is merely a different brain architecture, it is not an illness nor a disability it is just a difference
@@Anode-p2v yeah, it often ties so deeply into who you are as a person
what does itmean to be fixed? im sure im normal being autistic?
As an autistic person myself, I was so glad when I discovered this movie back in 2014!
Another thing I'd like to bring up that 'Mary and Max' does far better than 'Music' (or rather with Sia herself specifically) is how to apologize for committing ablism-or just apologizing in general.
Sia got called out numerous times for the movie BEFORE it was released, and got super defensive and deflective against the criticisms. She issued a few public "I'm sorry's" that held very little (if any weight). She said it after the news got out that he got a neurotypical to play an autistic character (after she got so nasty as to tell someone who said that there were plenty of autistic actors available for a role like this with "Maybe you're a bad actor".) Then she said "sorry" again after the restraint scene went viral, and promised to remove it from the film (which still has not happened to this date). And she said "sorry" yet again after submitting the film to the Golden Globes and getting a nomination for it!
Saying "I'm sorry" this many times, and only WHILE trying to reap all the benefits for the thing one is called out on, is an example of a fake (or at least insincere) apology.
With Mary, on the other hand, the film does actively acknowledge that the fact that he had good intentions when she wrote her book on Max and offered to help "cure" him of his autism, doesn't make what she did right. (Her ex-husband Damien even elaborates to her how "She's not a magic beauty queen who can smooth over the world and get rid of its wrinkles".) But she handled it much more graciously after she got the signal that Max cut his ties with her. Even though her book was getting massive critical reviews and would have launched her a new career and a promising future for her, she went right ahead and destroyed every copy of it before it got published out of respect for Max. As big a mistake as she made writing the book in the first place, that was a sacrifice that really proved how she cared more about Max than herself, even though he no longer considered him her friend.
And then after that, she sent him the can of sweetened condensed milk (remembering how he told her that he always wanted to try one), she wrote a simple I'M SORRY on the front of it (not adding any excuses or pleas for forgiveness), and lets that be her final exchange with him on her part. She does go through a time where she hopes that he might forgive her, but she ultimately respects that he has every right not to. She essentially leaves the ball in his court, which is the best way you can apologize to anyone PERIOD!
And when Max does forgive her, he elaborates that "we can't choose our warts, but we can choose our friends". And that the best thing that Mary could do for him was not try to "fix" or "cure" him, but just be there for him and be his friend.
(And you'd think that 'Mary and Max' would be a film Sia would at least have heard about it, given that it's Australian just like she is!)
As for other autistic characters in media that I think are respectable portrayals, the first example that comes into my head is Julia from 'Sesame Street'.
Don’t forget Norma from Dead End: Paranormal Park, which is also a great autistic portrayal in media.
Sesame Street was sponsored by Autism Speaks though. Mainly through RUclips ads
Mmmmm that one ep from bluey had also good rep of it
@@skyandstar00Army? I think Jack has ADHD but I suppose he could be on the spectrum as well. Though I have my suspicions about Bingo because of certain scenes I find relatable.
Honestly I felt like Julia was a terrible portrayal, infantalized autism
I'm so glad that I found the clip of Max describing Asperges syndrome to be extremely relatable. having been diagnosed with asperges and adhd at an early age, it's really clear to know that there's just always a difference between how I would act compared to how others would act. There have always been times in conversation where I stay extremely silent just listening to how other people talk and interact with each other compared to how I talk and interact with other people. basically having my own conscience call me out for how I act around others and how I look like a crazy person.
this, 10000%. I am ADHD, my love is on the spectrum.....eldest child is ADHD, youngest is on the spectrum, still learning with youngest's twin. We were raised in that Xennial generation (1978-1985) where "autism" was automatically "Rain Man" or "Ur a ReEEEe-ReeeEE!!!".......our parents saw it as a source of shame and didn't talk about it, or pretended "there is no problem", just that we were "odd" kids. It's a SPECTRUM. Everyone has a different experience. Hearing Max's description of Asperger's hit the nail on the head.
As someone who is also an aspie, the movie mary and max is one of my favorites.
Max portrays someone with asbergers very well and i relate so much to him, especially the part where he says he likes being an aspie.
My family knows i have asbergers, but since i learned i had it quite recently, it’s been a little hard for them to adjust.
Not that they aren’t trying, and not that it’s really hard, it’s just that there’s so little to change that they just tend to forget.
Like, my older brother is a bit of a hugger, and while i know he means well and i try my best to humour him, i always feel like im being constricted and have to remind him to let go. Or sometimes i lose focus when someone is talking to me and wander off.
And much like max, i also get upset when someone says i should “fix my problems.”
I don’t have problems. A problem would be something that is a detriment to someone else.
If someone says that to me, they they’re really just saying that i’m being a problem to them.
If anything, they should be the one to fix their problems if they think im the one who needs to change.
I’m glad i’m an aspie, so that i’m not considered “average” or “normal.”
Being normal stinks if it just means you’re like everyone else.
Also, the “music” movie was absolutely terrible, and sia should’ve been reprimanded for publisizing something with such complete misinformation and awful directions it went.
The scene where they were pinning her down to calm her gave me a mix of anger and anxiety. Not even someone without autism would want someone pinning you down to try to “calm you down.” Whoever thought that was a good idea was in idiot.
With the restraing scene. They were basically teaching people to treat a non-verbal autistic person like they are a 7-foot drug user on a murderous rampage.
Former student of guiding hands school here. i just wanted to thank you for addressing what happened to Max. What happened to him was horrific and still to this day saddens me to think about. I personally was put into a "restraint" several times while attending and I can personally attest that it was not only painful but also extremely humiliating and horribly degrading. Not to mention these "restraints" could last anywhere up to four to six hours at max. I personally hope that those three bastards rot in hell for what they put so many people through.
I have been held down before and have been strapped down on what they called “papoose boards” back in the 90’s. Not good childhood memories. 😢
Pretty sure he went to this school called sierra before guiding hands and was in my class. I didn’t know about anything until I saw something about it on tv a couple years ago and I was just shocked. Sierra wasn’t a good behavioral school and still isn’t. There definitely should be more public outreach on what these schools get away with.
@@Cove666 feel like people just feel weird out by these austic people so they instead of ignoring like adult should do they do anything and put more effort that actually wouldn't solve any of the student problem and oh also power fantasy but eh I am not austictic.... maybe idk
If someone hurts you or restrains your freedom, escape, hide, or fight back. ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT.
I like that you said what to do instead to help with a meltdown rather than just "dont restrain" !! Good video
I have autism. And once when I was a younger, I had a meltdown similar to music, so my dad walked me outside and played my favourite Disney short, instead of letting someone hold me down and crush my little body in attempt to calm me down.
@@WalmartBag-iy3oo that’s a great story
What a good dad you have ❤ I think it's clear that he knew you had Autism
Too bad even though I am VERY confident that have ADHD and Autism, and believe my brother and mother have Autism too (although they, of course, have slightly different symptoms from me), my family does not seem to know what being a neurodivergent person means and what one looks and acts like. Yet, that is.
The one dislike on this video is from Sia lmao
The second is from Autism Speaks lol
The dislike was from the creator of Sia-
@@TheSammyGShow Yea also like i don't get how they managed to do it so Autism speaks is like a website or whatever you said in the video and the videos were just mind blowing like what was their point???
Ah yes, not hiring someone just because of a disability... good job Sia, you're making yourself look so gooooooooood as a person..
Yeah…that report button looks nice and shiny looking right about now…
Mary and Max deserves so much more love
I have autism, and I agree that Music is the most offensive and atrocious film ever made towards the autistic.
And with how Sia responded to everything, I have no idea why her career didn’t end with her angering the mentally disabled.
Meanwhile Mary & Max, purely brilliant! One of the best stop motion animated films, one of Australia’s best films, literally fantastic film!
I an autistic person, I was never strangled to the ground by teachers or SSO's so the fact that non autistic think it's a good idea to kill someone while having a breakdown is both brutal and disguising.
Update: I was told that when I went to Solomon Town primrey school, one time I was rolled up into a mat when I overstimulated, but looking back, I wasn't that brutal as in music THANK GOD!!.
*disgusting
Same. Guess I should be a little more thankful for the experiences I had growing up. I think the only reason this didn't happen to me was because I was scared shitless of authority, and naturally, pissing off the teacher was the last thing on my mind.
Even if there was a cure for my ADHD and Autism, I would just choose to keep them because they are and were always a central part of myself.
Idk about you but if i could alt+f4 my adhd I WOULD it sucks so bad thinking you got it all right but then SOMEHOW you forgot something
@@weegee42069My husband is the same. He isn’t diagnosed with ADHD but I’m convinced he has it. He forgets easily when distracted. I have it too and while I’m not as forgetful I do forget things if I get distracted and it’s not something I’m used to doing. Yes I forget what I’m supposed to be doing sometimes. 😂😭
I would cure my adhd in a heartbeat as well. I've spent my entire life figuring out how to cope with it. 20+ years just to be able to do stuff like "remember to brush my hair before work" and "be able to complete a routine with a minor change without completely forgetting the whole routine." It's exhausting. I'm not neurodivergent, I have a neurodevelopmental disorder that has fundamentally changed the way my brain can learn and handle basic life skills. I even have issues with object permanence, something that literal toddlers have mastered!
@@theonlyabberdabber tell me about it. The unrelenting passage of time vs produce in the fridge is an on going battle of mine that may continue until my grave.
@@hollyleavves Give up and buy frozen. Same basic nutrients, keeps way longer. Save the energy for remembering to put deodorant on in the morning:)
Finally one of my favorite animated films getting more attention
I know, and my channel has never gotten this many views, maybe I should do more animated film reviews and media depicting autism. I enjoy it and so does RUclips. Thanks for watching.
I'm on the spectrum and have been restrained like shown on Music, but literally multiple adults at the same time sitting and laying on me at the same time like it's some protocol, well my mom also forced me to go into a "treatment" center through weekdays and she'd pick me up on weekends, the only thing this helped me with is that i will treat my children way better than what my mom did to me because i now have a lot of unresolved trauma that is now debilating my "normal" functions and now that i'm an adult i seem "fine".
Why do people think that people who aren't their kind of norm should be treated way differently? As what you stated in the video with "I have to adapt to you too" which is true, it shouldn't mean that someone should be going through such an experience. Anyway, howdy strangers and i hope you enjoyed the read!
Fun fact: Barry Humphries (the narrator in Mary & Max) has asperger's syndrome.
Irony
I love his narration. It’s actually pretty humorous in parts. Especially because it hits home for me.
i also have it but idc that much abt it
That bad representing scene made me hellishly uncomfortable.
I'm honestly really surprised all of this passed by me. I didn't even know this crap existed until a couple days ago. I can't help but think HOW ANYONE INVOLVED thought this was okay to publish. I have an autistic sister and this is such an insult. But great video, very informative. I'll definitely give Mary and Max a try :)
MEANWHILE: Hbomberguy’s newest video made
the Autism-Community proud.
What personally makes me love Mary and Max so much more is seeing Max not only get angry, but realize his rage went too far and apologized to Mary in sending his whole Noblet collection and a letter. It may not be an outright apology but man, this shines a light that autistic people in media rarely show:
Being human and making mistakes/being flawed, not making them out to be too special or naive to make them in the first place.
I'm autistic, it took me almost two decades to accept that fact. (I thought, "I'm not autistic, I'm not retarded like them."). I grew up in an enviroment where people thought my condition made me defective (Retarded) and strange, I was stigmatized and isolated more than my peers. Now, I wear the label with pride, those words came from ignorance and intolerance. I celebrate what I am, who I am, there will never be a person like me or you. I refuse to spend the rest of my life fretting about how I'm perceived by neurotypicals, if I'm owed one thing in life it's my own respect for myself and people like me. I will exist as I am with pride, and I hope other autistic people will as well, we are human beings too despite how the neurotypicals see us.
That’s some real stuff right there brother
I have ADHD and anxiety, yet my classmates still dehumanize me and call me an NPC.. The reason behind this is my introverted behavior and no friends. I was a friend of a girl that constantly told everyone about her relationship with me. And she snapped when we had an argument in messenger. Nowadays, she cusses at me and harasses me every single day.
I have a terrible life. I can't even think about being proud of being on autistic spectrum or being a bisexual. I wish I could simply go away like a bad omen.
"How the neurotypical see us"
Well, you yourself saw autism as retardation
@@0bject_cuppy554, NPC 😭
@@truthseeker7815 They also called me an N-word at one point :)
As if now, I'm eating chocolate. I feel a lot better now. :)
Mary and Max is a tearjerker for me.
My left ear really enjoyed this video
I feel it
Mary and Max is my favorite film of all time, thank you for this video!
I'm glad you liked the video!
Me too 😔💔
When I loose control I don’t flail or anything, my body just shuts off but before this happens I yell at people who come close to me. If they grab me or try to grab me I just shut off and pass out, when I wake up I feel awful. I had never heard of people thinking it’s ok to restrain people when this is happening and I am shocked.
They did it a good job of this film
"Mary and max✅" but not sia's film
"Music❌"
Need more red “X’s” on Music. In fact I wish that movie was never made. It’s the only film I believe should become “lost media” except I wish any evidence of its existence would become “lost” as well. And I’m a person who cares about media preservation as it’s a special interest of mine.
Right? I feel so bad for the actress and then the woman told her when she was crying that SHE WAS DOING A GOOD THING??? This woman is shameless actually what was the point of Sia?
I have high-functioning autism. I got the diagnosis very late, when I was around 13, I think. Sadly, I also dealt with childhood trauma in the highest possible order. My mother was an alcoholic druggie who hardly helped me and my two sisters, constantly conditioning us to be afraid of our adoptive dad.
Despite that, people tell me I'm gifted, I'm very creative, smart and a musical genius. The only things keeping me from being any better than I am are my flashbacks to my past. My weakness is my memory. I'm 17 now, turning 18 this september. I struggle with depression, my poor social skills (even though they're not that severe) aren't helping.
IMO, and this is VERY personal, autism is not a superpower as many like to claim, it is a handicap, at least for me. To anyone else with autism, I feel you. It's all about learning to cope. Stay strong, all of you.
Ok pause… I had to pause. After the scene with Maddie, & as you’re explaining it I start getting those anxious feelings , & felt so sad by the idea of what that just feel like to have someone hold you down … then the student..
I can’t even find the words.
Is it safe to unpause this now , my god.. that’s why videos like this one are so important! People need to be educated!
My left ear is enjoying this one! Great vid!
This actually makes a ton of sense since both my ears are recovering from infection and only the left one has healed for the most part so i thought it was normal
I love how passionate you are with the autism spectrum and how determined you are to defend it. As a person with autism myself, I understand what it's like to be seen or portrayed in a negative light. Mary and Max (Although I haven't seen it yet, but will soon since I noticed you can watch it for free with ads here on RUclips. I hope they never remove it from the "free with ads" list because this is a film that should be readily available for anyone and everyone willing to watch it.) is an underrated gem that should never, under any circumstances be taken with a grain of salt. And from this video alone, I felt inspired to subscribe to your channel because sometimes; it only takes one video, with a very passionate and caring person behind it, to make a big difference in someone's life. This video is proof to me that one-hit wonders still exist today and more people than 38K should watch this video and see the pure passion and care I saw in you today. Keep up the stellar work and may God bless you.
I had a doctor talk to me about being autistic, due to my issues of understanding emotions. I understand them factually, but not emotionally. I can't comfort or properly understand someone unless they tell me. If I get too strong of an emotion, I will do something I shouldn't to myself. Mary and Max made me not feel as weird as I am and nothing is wrong with me in a bad way.
My left ear really enjoyed this video :D
Same
Same
Same
I loved Mary and max so much, it made me cry (or tear up basically, because I have a hard time crying to films that make me sad, like Max does) I think it was one of the greatest representations of autism I’ve seen, and specifically Asperger’s. Especially with how the film never pulled back any punches, it was blunt with what having Asperger’s can make you feel, and how you’re constantly disconnected with society’s way of thinking, and I love that because it feels like that pain is never represented, it’s always sugarcoated to hell and back.
Also that scene in that other film was freaking atrocious, like that’s just straight up a torture method made specifically for autistic people. And the adults were acting like complete buffoons being all like “I’m NOt dOInG it yOU do It” like as if they see the poor girl as some pet with no emotions, it’s so morbid.
I recently myself(less than a week ago) found out i was autistic and was looking more into autism as i realized how little i knew about it.Well looking into the horror that is autism speaks I found out about Sia's Music.After that horrible portrayal of autism I went on to look at autism in modern media and found Mary and Max.Watched it today and it was the most beautiful film I had ever watched.I related to Max on a lot of things and think it would be a good watch for anyone wanting to learn about how life may be for a neurodivergent individual.(edit:Mary and Max is free on Tubi Tv)
I have autism, and I had parents who are AMAZING at dealing with me, but my dad went through a phase where he felt like he had to hold me down in order to help me. It was not helping me. I felt like I had to use self defense against him because, of course, I couldn’t think straight, like I was being held down by a grizzly bear. Eventually my mom had to take charge and let him know how this was actually a terrible, TERRIBLE idea.
Now I’m less prone to things like meltdowns, I love both of my parents, and I play video games with my dad after he’s home from work, as well as go out to eat with my mom, thinking about drawing pictures with her since she has an art minor.
I found Mary & Max a few years back while looking for something to watch on a steaming network. I loved it! The characters are so well written/acted and the animation is superb!
hey uh, why are you in my left ear?
Idk put your device to your right ear 🤷♂️
Autism simulator
@@CATONWATERMELON2hey dude what you said is not rock and roll
Mee too I’m wearing headphones and his voice is in npmy left ear
@@NAbreu-yu4dtprobably just has to do with the microphone. If it gets really bad for you, I suggest turning down the volume and turning up the speed, so you can get through it faster.
Never even heard of Sia's film until now, but hot damn it's even harder to watch then the darkest moments of Mary and Max
I've heard from a lot of old people that they regret having have spent their lives trying to appease others and try to fit in. In that sense I feel autism is freeing. People will consider you weird and you'll end up isolated but you're free to do and like whatever you want; Uncaring what the world might think. Like a wise man once said "I'm cringe but I'm free"
I consider Max Horowitz to be the best portrayals of Asperger syndrome by far.
Mary and Max is legitimately one of the most beautiful films I've ever seen, both visually and thematically. I wish more people knew about it.
As someone who is a aspie
mary and max is my favorite movie
Good video 👍
i havent seen mary and max yet,but i will soon
As someone with mild autism I saw my disability as a gift, I thought of it as something that made me feel more unique than other people, but after hearing the quote Max said at 4:36 made me love my disability more and I felt more happy to have it, thank you Max for making me love my disability more
As someone on the spectrum. When too much noise is around- I don't hit my head and start yelling "AughHugahha" I mostly cover my ears and think- (lil' bit of swearing here)
"Oh My God, Please shut the fuck up-", I disliked the representation that the movie " Music " had. On the other hand, I really liked the portrait of people on the spectrum,(in the other movie by the way.) because it may have a dark theme. Literally- like colour wise. It was very comfortable in some way to hear those words "I don't need a cure, I like being an aspie (etc cuz Ik can't remember the rest) "
Which really hit me-
You should watch the “other movie” Mary and Max. It’s just over an hour long and is currently free on RUclips if you haven’t watched it yet. It’s so relatable.
I also relate to Max and his hang up with littering.😅
My right ear loved the soothing music.
I am sorry if this video feels a bit rushed, but time was running out with Autism Awareness Month. I really REALLY wished I made this sooner and with more love.
Ayo it's oki
You posted this on my birthday
@@anibrainreverbs5853 Well hope you had a happy birthday mate!
@@TheSammyGShow thanks
@@TheSammyGShow hey there
To be fair, the only real issue with this video is the audio balancing. Don't get me wrong, my left ear enjoyed it a lot, but my right ear would have liked to hear your voice as much as the left one did.
Restraining people with autism freaks us out fear turns to anger and anger detonates with violence it’s not because we want to hurt others but it’s because who’ve been pushed into a corner with nothing to lose and where pretty dam strong
I have Autism and Global developmental delay, I perfer Mary & Max over Sia's film.
Left ear: the commentary
Right ear: music
I’ve seen a lot of videos on music, but I’ve never seen the full scene, and my god. I will say though, I really like your art. Your expressions are very vibrant
Yep, this...act happened TWICE in the film! It was just painful and annoying. Thank you!! I will remember that, I want to make more videos like this in the future and I have some ideas but I need some help to promote them as well as advise me on what I should do.
Music is one of those rare films that I outright refuse to watch. Not just because I don't want to financially support ableism on film, but because I just know it will get my blood boiling.
Oh God watching that made me panic
10:54 This. This was my coping strategy for years, and still somewhat is now. When I get stressed, I would run to the bathroom and hide there for a few minutes until I calmed down
I honestly don’t feel bad when people say it’s a disorder. I’m probably the exception to that rule. I have accepted something most “Aspie’s” aren’t willing to accept. I have accepted that autism is, in some respects, an illness. It can’t be “cured.” But I can see that it is, in some respects, a curse upon my life. I like that it gives me a different perspective of the world, but it makes my social anxiety and general uncomfortableness among large crowds of strangers fly high through the roof. I am scared of people, even ones who I am good friends with and have known for years. I write quite freely about my thoughts here on RUclips, but when it comes to actual talk, I am unusually timid. I would gladly cure myself of that social disadvantage, if I could. I like that my memory skills are enhanced by autism, but I really hate that my social difficulties will probably never end for me, and I will always feel a certain “fight or flight” response trigger when I’m in a room full of chatting people. The chatting itself scares me more than the people scare me. It’s like thousands of super-computers are in the same room and they are passing massive loads of information to each other at the blink of an eye. And every time they do it, I hear the sound of an alarm clock or a beeping watch go off. It both fascinates and terrifies me. I so much want to be a part of this beautiful thing! But I will always have a rockier road to travel than most, because of the sensory overload, and this instinctive, undying fear, that is a common symptom among autistic persons. That bad part of autism is just as much a part of it as the good things. That’s why, to my mind, it’s a disorder, and not just a matter of “neurodivergence” as has become recently popular.
The term "neurodivergent" has mostly been taken over by self diagnosed fakers that just want to feel special and have just the "quirky" party of it and dont actually meet the diagnostic criteria. I refuse to use the term or the symbols because of this.
Well I think that’s the whole point behind “warts and all”. It’s as much of a blessing as it is a curse. I still don’t want to be cured though. As much as I don’t like “the warts” that having Asperger’s/ASD brings to the table I can’t imagine not having those struggles. It’s shaped me and who I am and I don’t want to be rid of any of it.
I agree. I am neurodivergent. I am disabled. This does not make me cute, or quirky, or superior, or trendy (thanks TikTok). It quite literally negatively affects my ability to live and cope in this world. I'm tired of people acting like I'm Hitler for acknowledging that my disability is literally a dis-ability.
As someone with autism I really appreciate you making this video, it was a delight to hear your inside perspective along with the contrast of two almost polar opposite movies.
Good job, Sam. Really enjoyed this video, it was super informative :)
Thanks Sarah, I hope we can work together on videos at some point :)
As an autistic person with high functioning I am incredibly intelligent in my year bit I lack communication and processing issues. I think the hardest part is just accepting it
But thankfully I had sendCo to help with those issues now I can speak confidently
Brother im still in that phase of trying to accept myself. The problem with "high functioning" is that im constantly aware of my autistic traits like stimming and even worse things. I wish i was "low" functioning so i could at least accept it with ignorant bliss.
you sound egotistical
It’s a strange feeling when you think you have something that, to be honest, feels like nobody can understand…then I see something like these animations describing it perfectly. It’s incredible.
Mary and Max almost made me cry
So here's this lovely horror film called Come Play that has a non-verbal autistic boy and his mother as the protagonists. I really liked the kid in this movie. He's just a normal kid, but he's working on a couple things. He even has a smartphone that helps him communicate so he has a voice in the movie. I fully recommend it if you want a movie with a non-verbal autistic lead that doesn't suck.
I've had a few kids in daycares I've worked in and it's always a new task finding what calms and centers their little minds and hearts. For one it was allowing him to sit on my lap while I massaged his calves. For another he liked when I blew gently into his ear from behind (go figure) we called it his ocean breeze lol. Just like with ANY kiddo you have to get down to their level and find the key to their happiness. It's always hard but the victory at the end is SOOOO worth it!!!
I'm a few years late, but that "didn't cast an autist to act" part irked me. You don't have to be gay, straight, or autistic to play a character. What matters is the director and the people telling you what to do. Hell, in animation and voice acting it especially dosan't matter. I am not an expert when it comes to the American film industry, but I do have experience acting as an extra here in . Seeking someone out solely on their sexuality, disability, religion, etc instead of their acting skill and fittingness for the role is very much nasty.
I can’t grasp how mad I am, they portray autism like autism makes you a child. 🤦
my nephews non verbal, everyone around him treats him like he's 2 when he's 7, he's like every other 7 year old and he's brilliant at macaton sign language but people treat him like a toddler and i think he hates it, even my sister does and shes his mum, hes just a really sweet wholesome kid who can't speak and brightens up every room
I was diagnosed in the first few days in 2021. I remember being confused about it because it never really seemed like it, but then you realize that many on the spectrum are likely dealing with awareness issues. Relationships seem like a hassle for me to handle And I get easily down mooded from change
9:12 As an ASD diagnosee since age 2, with Asperger's, this scene made me absolutely furious. I've actually seen it all now.
I have never seen Mary and Max! I am definitely going to have to find and watch it. It sounds amazing.
It’s currently free on RUclips if you still haven’t seen it.
i vividly remember being pinned down to the floor by two teachers at a time in school. many many times. it was a very stressful experience every time it happened. i can't believe anyone approved that torture method to be portrayed as a good thing.
I already know what Mary and Max is thanks to Steve Reviews.
Same here!
The way autism tends to be portrayed in media, is what made me refuse to acknowledge that I'm on the spectrum until literally this year.
I didn't want to have anything to do with that overblown overly dramatic stereotype of what autistic people are like.
Now, thanks to my partner and their friends, a lot of whom happen to be some flavour of ND, I'm starting to realize how far from the truth those portrayals are...
It took 20 years, but I'm finally able to understand why I am the way I am, and can communicate it to people.
And there's nothing wrong with it.
There's nothing wrong with me becoming unable to speak when I'm stressed, but there's everything wrong with people around me taking it as a personal insult, and yeah, that kept happening to me.
Good representation is so important, and bad representation so horrible, because it makes it harder for people like me to accept part of themselves, and just makes life for us so so much harder...
I remembered watching Mary and Max! And i will never forget how it was such a masterpiece.
My right ear's been left out of this presentation, just like me my whole life.
Hey Sammy when you showed this scene 8:58 I actually watched this trailer yesterday and you show this I felt so scared to show I even cried because I was scared 😨😭
Mary and Max is absolutely beautiful. to anyone readying this, please watch it
If I were to write “music” here’s what I would do.
First, change her name to “melody”. The story is about Melody trying to cope in a sudden change of having to live with her sister after her grandmother died from her perspective. Her sister is underprepared and treats Melody like a pet rather than taking the actual time to understand her and her needs. At first she reads some outdated information about the disorder but it backfires after Melody has a meltdown and gets injured when her sister tries to restrain her. Melody quickly becomes scared of her sister and refuses to even go near her now out of fear of getting hurt.
Her sister feels awful about this as now she’s realizing that she is out of her league in this one and is debating on whether she should risk putting Melody into a home for special needs children that can help Melody but risk stressing her out in this new environment, or try and look after her on her own. After lamenting this to her friend, she learns that he is also autistic and helps her learn how to adapt to Melody’s needs and be able to communicate with her. After a while the sister finally is able to connect with Melody although small, it is progress and the movie ends on a hopeful note that as time goes on things will get better.
Way better than the actual movie
I think more people should watch movies Mary and Max to better understand not just autism but mental health in general. In my country any mental health most especially autism is heavily frown upon and something to hide I once had an cousin who was autistic and he was spoken upon with whispers and rumors like he was a dangerous animal. Also one case while I was taken an IQ test another cousin ask if I was diagnosed with a mental disorder or something because I went to a psychologist.
i don’t mean to pry, but as an aspire trying to better understand what aspires elsewhere in the world are going through, do you mind specifying which country you are talking about?
(praying it’s not france - no hard feelings towards you if it is, but i hear it’s hell [capital h?] there for aspies)
if this is too personal a question i can drop it
Always the french @@CitizenTaco
the thumbnail would make a fire epic rap battle of history
I’m also higher functioning on the spectrum and recently graduated with a Deploma in game development and I eventually hope to work with a team to develop a game that’s based on the infrastructure of my mind itself and is a great showcase of how many people on the spectrum function and the mental control strategies that allowed me to have increased awareness and control over my mind and it’s functions. It could possibly also even inspire many industries at best while showcasing if someone on the spectrum was used as the initial base for a sentient AI that was used in a large amount of machines but each one was still unique with their own unique variations in their personality traits.
I was pretty much also deeply inspired by these bad representations of autism in the media to want to eventually work on the best representation of someone on the spectrum as possible! I’ve also observed that many people including employers have been strongly influenced by those bad representations of autism in the media and have been secretly refusing to hire us as a result which is seemingly surprisingly common by my current observations but I do eventually hope to change that for the better as in reality many of us can do those jobs better and more efficiently than most other neurotypical people! :)
That sounds like an amazing idea! Please make this game, I would love to play it!
@@TheSammyGShow
Yup I’m really dreaming of eventually making it a reality! It would also be the best of futuristic designs from the 1980s as it would take place in an underground facility that was abandoned in 1989! However that facility was at the top of the world in technology and innovations prior to them being shut down so it’s almost like a future we dreamed of back then! :)
A couple of years ago, I went to a college unit for students with Autism. It was separate from the college itself in the middle of a working farm behind the campus.
I could name several instances where this place didn't do what it promised to do, such as coddling those on the lower functioning end, but I'll focus on one particular story for now.
I was coming back from a nice walk with my class, when I saw another class coming out of one of the two buildings our unit consisted of. I noticed the lesson wasn't yet over, so I asked what was going on.
One student said to me that another student had a meltdown over being told to put away his Switch, and he had started throwing things and flipping tables. Instead of moving that one student away to help him calm down, the teachers decided to remove the rest of the class, thus hindering their learning. I found that to be super unfair.
As a result of word spreading about this, one class representative decided at the next meeting that Switch systems should be banned from the unit because people couldn't put them away when it was time for class.
3 of the class reps, including me, were people who actually could put them away, so his argument was pretty one sided. It's crazy how much can happen from one little moment of chaos.
as a person who has a lil ‘tism myself i’m absolutely disgusted by the restraining scene in Sia’s Music, but for Mary and Max, is literally the best representation of autism in the 21st century,
It's been years since I saw Mary & Max, but its one of those films that really stuck with me. Such a brilliant film
Thank you for these terrific informations! This was so helpful to read Mary & Max's plot and message!