Reality Bites: 4 Bizarre Hoaxes and Pranks that People Thought Were Actually Real

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  • Опубликовано: 9 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 1,3 тыс.

  • @cmtippens9209
    @cmtippens9209 Год назад +293

    Sometimes listening to Simon is like listening to a 1st grader explain the day's events at school. Multiple back tracks, assorted side trips down dead end tunnels, and confusing parallel tracks that never quite conjoin into one focused story. 😆

    • @debtjoa
      @debtjoa Год назад +9

      But so much more entertaining than when my kids were in first grade and attempted to tell stories…

    • @stoneskinreb
      @stoneskinreb Год назад +15

      AND he doesn't understand wtf he's talking about but thinks he has solutions to it.

    • @post_ian94
      @post_ian94 Год назад +8

      There's a reason why "ADHD... loading" is on some of their merch

    • @stephaniepeth1338
      @stephaniepeth1338 Год назад

      Yet somehow it's way more tolerable when he does it!

  • @cgardner85
    @cgardner85 Год назад +100

    The cat litter box story hit my neck of the woods been spreed by our neighbourhood Q Aron saying there was a litter box in one of the local schools in town. The chairperson of the school board had to send out a press release that it wasn’t true. On a radio interview about his upcoming retirement he told the interviewer that he would of never thought he would release a statement saying that there are no litter boxes in schools and with that note what a way to go out on your retirement. 😂

    • @gnarthdarkanen7464
      @gnarthdarkanen7464 Год назад +10

      I'd let the "I'm fed up with this sh*t and I ain't takin' it anymore" jokes write themselves and roll on... ;o)

    • @FairbrookWingates
      @FairbrookWingates Год назад +9

      My parents insist a friend of a friend actually saw one....I'm going out on a limb here and guessing miscommunication somewhere along the way. *sigh*

    • @jennaxoxox4821
      @jennaxoxox4821 Год назад

      Sadly, there are Republicans actually trying to make legislation banning Furries. 🙄

    • @gnarthdarkanen7464
      @gnarthdarkanen7464 Год назад +1

      @@jennaxoxox4821 With Disney? Doubt that's going to work. ;o)

    • @williammiller3277
      @williammiller3277 Год назад

      @@FairbrookWingates youre joe rogans kid?

  • @Nowlan-19
    @Nowlan-19 Год назад +121

    Simon's out here trying to get his British citizenship revoked by badmouthing Pink Floyd & Monty Pyton in the same breath

    • @RAMuradin
      @RAMuradin Год назад +6

      I'm not even British and those are 2 of my favorite things!

    • @willmfrank
      @willmfrank Год назад +6

      This is also the chap who confused Ace Rimmer from "Red Dwarf" with Squadron Commander Flashheart from "Blackadder Goes Forth."

    • @robertaviles8451
      @robertaviles8451 Год назад +2

      I'm going to agree with Simon on SNL not being funny... NOW! The CLASSIC SNL was a rotflol type of funny! John Balushi, Eddie Murphy, David Spade, Chris Farley, Mike Myers and Dana Carvey (just to name a few) ALL started their careers on SNL way back in the day, when it was funny!
      Now it's just watered down version of its former self! Very sad!

  • @sambrown7706
    @sambrown7706 Год назад +97

    If you want a good April fools trick that happened recently. During covid lock down, in sitka Alaska. Across the water way from the cityn there is a dormant volcano. A few people thought it would be funny to climb to the top and start a huge pallet fire. This caused the locals to believe the volcano came back to life. Epic prank for April fools.... even though the prankster got busted and a huge fine, it was still pretty epic.

    • @bayoubilly5176
      @bayoubilly5176 Год назад +20

      Ok as an adult I'm like HRM ppl could get hurt as a result of panicking...
      Guiltily the teenager locked in the dark recesses of my brain is screaming "that is so fucking epic Yesssss!"

    • @bigsprucerabbitry6238
      @bigsprucerabbitry6238 Год назад +19

      I grew up there - it was awesome! It was old tires mostly in the fire so the smoke was black. They wouldn't have gotten in trouble if it was just a pallet fire.

    • @lejibus
      @lejibus Год назад +10

      Last time I was in Sitka, maybe 15 years ago, that was a popular story as well. I'm kinda guessing it's reoccurring event.

    • @LRM12o8
      @LRM12o8 Год назад +5

      @@lejibus sounds like if the volcano ever erupts again, people will just roll their eyes like: "oh, just another prank by our goofy youth 🤭"

    • @cyrussteele9362
      @cyrussteele9362 Год назад +2

      @@lejibus Not much else for the local kids to do ...

  • @ZOB4
    @ZOB4 Год назад +85

    Monty Python and the Holy Grail will still be funny 1000 years from now if humanity lasts that long.

    • @skynyrdjesus
      @skynyrdjesus Год назад +3

      I wish this was true, but probably not. Comedy is the first thing that dies with cultural evolution, because jokes are designed for the context of their times. That's why it's basically impossible to recreate Shakespeare's comedies today, the language and accent of the day is more than half the jokes.

    • @vulpes7079
      @vulpes7079 Год назад

      It's already not funny the way the fans keep milking the jokes

    • @Fl4shback
      @Fl4shback 2 месяца назад

      I watched it twice and it was more cringe than funny. But in the end comedy is subjective and if you get a good laugh of it then good for you

  • @flessuh
    @flessuh Год назад +215

    "i used to play with my wife before we had kids"... Yes Simon, that's how you get kids 🤣

    • @shillty
      @shillty Год назад

      Arh yes sexy chess.

    • @ingridfong-daley5899
      @ingridfong-daley5899 Год назад +3

      Bwahahaha--I heard him say that and thought, "Teach your kids to play chess."
      I'm frankly embarrassed my mind was out-guttered. :)

    • @doctorlolchicken7478
      @doctorlolchicken7478 Год назад +6

      Today I Found Out …

    • @danielredding9205
      @danielredding9205 Год назад +1

      Haaaaaaaaaa 😂😂

  • @about7grams
    @about7grams Год назад +129

    my favorite part of brain blaze videos is when Simon has a deep memory of his past and how much he misses it but then thinks to himself out loud "yeah but i have kids now so RIP that dream"

    • @Iris_and_or_George
      @Iris_and_or_George Год назад +3

      0:31 The past was the WORST????

    • @about7grams
      @about7grams Год назад +5

      @@Iris_and_or_George WAS IT BETTER IN THE PAST OR IS THE PAST THE WORST? WE NEED ANSWERS SIMON

    • @Insertia_Nameia
      @Insertia_Nameia Год назад +4

      I do that all the time. 😆 Though I'd make every stupid mistake all over again if it meant having my kids exactly as they are now.🤷‍♀️ But still...It's nice that they're little but not super little anymore so I can try to get back into small hobbies like reading and writing again.

    • @cmaden78
      @cmaden78 Год назад +1

      @@Insertia_Nameia I have amazing boys 18 and 13 and yup as painful as some things were ... wouldn't change anything cuz of awesome they are🤗

  • @nicholasmclaughlin7104
    @nicholasmclaughlin7104 Год назад +51

    it put the final nail in the Joe Rogan coffin for me when I saw him say that a friend of a friend's children's school has litter boxes in class I was so disappointed in myself for thinking he was interesting when I was a teen

    • @gnarthdarkanen7464
      @gnarthdarkanen7464 Год назад +12

      "Interesting" does NOT mean "correct" or "right" or "an authority"... It ONLY means "Interesting"... as in "inspires interest"...
      The truth is a LOT of callous, crude, stupid, and incendiary personalities are interesting. It's okay to think so. I wouldn't put much stock in a single syllable coming from them, but that doesn't mean they can't be interesting...
      I think of it like reading the comics page on a newspaper or a subscription to "The Onion". Regardless of the intent behind a story or it's delivery, I don't have to take it seriously to consider it interesting.
      Keep in measured doses, of course, and we can only do our best to fact-check or find "legitimately credible" sources for the things we WANT to know... BUT if his conversations with people is usually entertaining and interesting, so be it.
      Hell, Joe HIMSELF warns that "he's a f*ckin' idiot"... AND NOT to take him too seriously. He's a part-time stand-up comic FFS... I grew up with Sam Kinison, Dennis Leary, and nostalgic re-runs of Benny Hill. They were interesting, but I wouldn't exactly model my life to emulate them... ANY of them. ;o)

    • @remotecontrol1082
      @remotecontrol1082 Год назад +5

      We all live and learn! The good thing is you've moved on.

    • @JoshSweetvale
      @JoshSweetvale Год назад +15

      To be fair, he's radicalized with the years.
      He's never been a good science communicator, and that's blown over into not even bothering with critical thinking anymore.

    • @Semmelein
      @Semmelein Год назад +7

      @@gnarthdarkanen7464 I mean if Joe Rogan would actually not only tell he's an idiot but also not take himself that seriously and all-knowing, it would make him way more believable. He lacks the self-awareness and introspection where it's needed the most.

    • @gnarthdarkanen7464
      @gnarthdarkanen7464 Год назад

      @@Semmelein You're one of THOSE people who NEED that warning and disclaimer on every episode of "Jackass" or you'll be right out in your backyard doing something stupid, aren't you.... AREN'T YOU!!!
      I mean, seriously, I've heard Joe say at LEAST twice a year, "Don't listen to me. I'm just a fuckin' idiot." or "I'm an idiot! Don't take what I say too seriously... it's just my opinion."
      SO HOW MANY GOD DAMN TIMES DO YOU NEED TO BE TOLD???!!!
      Jesus! His early years were FULL of his conspiracy theory leanings, and he actually grew out of that... There are some things he's still "jury's out" on... BUT he consistently tells the audience that he's no interviewer and he's JUST talking to the people on his podcast.... it's no pretenses... come as you are.
      THIS is exactly why I lose respect for the general public. I'm not special intellectually, and I remember Joe telling us... hell... BRAGGING TO US about how he's "just a fuckin' idiot with a podcast"...
      Do you get outsmarted by buckets of hair frequently??? Next time you want to score some extra points on an IQ test, just leave it to the jelly donut... ffs... ;o)

  • @slayingroosters4355
    @slayingroosters4355 Год назад +63

    I remember being on holiday with my family in London. We were all so amazed at the fact that the bbc was showing this amazing new footage of penguins flying until my sceptical father asked what date it was. 🤣🤣

  • @feanacar
    @feanacar Год назад +65

    Does anybody else miss the days when he would walk around play the drums go on a tangent, drop the script to get tangled up in his microphone cord etc?

    • @saml9816
      @saml9816 Год назад +2

      I'm still trying to pinpoint exactly when it changed, and if there was a stated reason. I miss it. He still cuts up more in this channel, but it's too much like his other channels now.

    • @jphilb
      @jphilb Год назад +3

      And ETA and Wilson.

    • @Thatcrazycatmom17
      @Thatcrazycatmom17 Год назад

      Yes

    • @wingerding
      @wingerding 11 месяцев назад +2

      ​@@saml9816because the majority of people didn't like it and he was losing a shit ton of viewers and not getting any new ones, that's what he said on the episode in which he made the change. He turned out to be right and gained many more viewers.

  • @andrecambridge4474
    @andrecambridge4474 Год назад +48

    Watching Simon learn just how much money NYPD has, and the fact they’re probably stationed in Czech would be funny.

    • @wendybrenner2614
      @wendybrenner2614 Год назад +1

      They're already in London and have been since the 90s

    • @alphavasson5387
      @alphavasson5387 4 месяца назад

      Over $5 billion. I told that to one of my friends a few months ago and he proceeded to absolutely lose his sh*t. I would've done the same had I not already lost all faith in the American government and policing system 😅

  • @MichaelEilers
    @MichaelEilers Год назад +105

    A British man who fails to recognize Monty Python. Legend.

    • @lsb42
      @lsb42 Год назад +7

      I had watched Life of Brian the other day and was hitting myself in the head trying to figure out where that quote was from. Thank you so much

    • @rquinn0111
      @rquinn0111 Год назад +3

      It's from the Quest for the Holy Grail. Scene 24 is a smashing scene.

    • @ericvulgate
      @ericvulgate Год назад

      Must be a Benny hill/ Mr bean fan

    • @Dave062YT
      @Dave062YT Год назад +2

      Simon is from Mars
      Last week he had nt heard of Wolves lol

  • @jamesmyers421
    @jamesmyers421 Год назад +21

    The best news f-up was San Francisco channel 2 news giving the names of the pilots of a recent plane crash as Capts: Sum Ting Wong; We Tu Lowe; Bang Ding Ow.
    I felt bad later, but was laughing so hard when I was watching

    • @gnarthdarkanen7464
      @gnarthdarkanen7464 Год назад +2

      I only felt a little bad for the poor anchors... The channel DESERVED the kind of ribbing that came from that one... I laughed so hard I almost forgot how to breathe... That was HILARIOUS! ;o)

    • @cougarhunter33
      @cougarhunter33 Год назад +5

      Don't forget about Ho Lee Fuk

    • @jamesmyers421
      @jamesmyers421 Год назад +1

      @@cougarhunter33 damn it, couldn't remember that one! You got me

    • @LRM12o8
      @LRM12o8 Год назад +1

      You forgot the third pilot Ho Lee Fuq! How could you defile the memory of the third pilot like that? 😭

  • @darondax
    @darondax Год назад +36

    Ah, yes. The constitutional peasant bit. One of my favorite Monty Python sketches from the Holy Grail movie.

  • @thatwitch-ep4rd
    @thatwitch-ep4rd Год назад +65

    I love how often Simon's writers make references to dragon ball z and they just go over Simon's head. 😅

    • @gunkyzip
      @gunkyzip Год назад +8

      True fake fact: there's been over 9000 references to DBZ on this channel

    • @olivergambrell9763
      @olivergambrell9763 Год назад

      A niche reference to a niche subject with no context is bound to get no recognition!

    • @thatwitch-ep4rd
      @thatwitch-ep4rd Год назад +9

      @@olivergambrell9763 not really a niche subject.... lmao

    • @Revan2908
      @Revan2908 Год назад

      @@thatwitch-ep4rd Weebs are a "niche" crowd.

    • @Dan19870
      @Dan19870 Год назад +5

      May have to start referring to Simon as Nappa.

  • @SweGrlMom
    @SweGrlMom Год назад +23

    Best prank I've heard of. 1962 the official swedish TV-channel claimed that a pair of stockings over your black and white TV would make it a colour TV. 😂 Still legendary.

    • @LRM12o8
      @LRM12o8 Год назад +1

      How the hail was that supposed to work, according to their prank logic?! 🧐

    • @dennisbohman3848
      @dennisbohman3848 Год назад

      ​@@LRM12o8
      In 1962, ordinary people weren't very tech savvy, Google didn't exist and that's probably why. Tho more or less all were deceived by it.

  • @elfymcelferton2187
    @elfymcelferton2187 Год назад +26

    Simon, you were extra-Simony in this episode. ⚡

  • @anemoiatrippin
    @anemoiatrippin Год назад +70

    I live in Capitol Hill WA, inside the "CHAZ" zone. I had people on the other side of the world trying to tell me I wasn't seeing what I was seeing. I went out every day, with my kid, and a lot of the photos people posted weren't even OF Capitol Hill. But everyone kept telling me no, there's people running around on fire with machetes.

    • @dondumitru7093
      @dondumitru7093 Год назад +5

      I live on the East Side, and we could see the glow of the Fires Of CHAZ (FOC) even during the day, and occasionally we were pretty sure we could hear the screams.

    • @anemoiatrippin
      @anemoiatrippin Год назад +18

      @Don Dumitru I literally always hear random screams and yelling. I'm like 2 blocks from the park where the people set up. I walked through the hill daily. Once I saw some people charge into a starbucks. When the actual protests were happening I could hear them / see from the window. But in general during the day, I didn't see anyone running around with guns and killing people and setting fires etc. I'm sure people had camp fires, that happens at a lot of homeless camps and obviously homeless camps will spring up in places where they know they're not being moved on. I saw water stations where the market sets up near the park. We chalked on the ground a bit. I didn't see a single gun. My dad in my country saw a headline about it all with a big photo of burning buildings and people in black with guns. It wasn't even Capitol Hill, and the photo was traced to like 2013.

    • @dondumitru7093
      @dondumitru7093 Год назад +5

      @@anemoiatrippin Should I have added a snark tag to my post? This Internet thing is really confusing, maybe we should all switch back to AOL.

    • @anemoiatrippin
      @anemoiatrippin Год назад +13

      @@dondumitru7093 maybe, the thing is, people have genuinely claimed this to me. In all seriousness.

    • @ericvulgate
      @ericvulgate Год назад +3

      Some say you can still hear the screams..

  • @christiangrantz6906
    @christiangrantz6906 Год назад +24

    "With math and english you learn skills!" Says the man who screams at a camera in his basement for a living

    • @urbanracer032
      @urbanracer032 Год назад +4

      Don't forget those tangents.

    • @Alikaoz
      @Alikaoz Год назад +5

      Hey now.
      It's a professional screaming pit

  • @bmattison
    @bmattison Год назад +18

    Simon down on Monty Python, Pink Floyd, and SNL all in one episode.
    We need the Holy Hand Grenade!

    • @TitularHeroine
      @TitularHeroine Год назад +9

      The number of the counting shall be three.

    • @craigslist6988
      @craigslist6988 Год назад +2

      Don't rush to throw away the HHG. Breath. Breath in the air. Count to one less than four.
      I think a better idea is we send him in to fight the bunny rabbit.

  • @SegwayBossk
    @SegwayBossk Год назад +310

    I had a teacher on 9th grade that wouldn't let us go to the bathroom during class. I had to go one day and wasn't allowed to, so I grabbed her trashcan and used it as a urinal in the corner of the class. Got written up for it, and she ended up getting in trouble for creating the situation in the first place

    • @jaybeemhardscrote7466
      @jaybeemhardscrote7466 Год назад +18

      Salute!

    • @IvoKintobor
      @IvoKintobor Год назад +27

      nice... during finals and standardized testing weeks, no one was allowed in the hallways, so no bathroom breaks, etc... i had a teacher who refused to follow that rule... someone in a previous class peed on her wall because she wouldn't let them leave

    • @mattday2656
      @mattday2656 Год назад +16

      in grade 2 we had a similar teacher, eventually she got forced in retirement, as was the principle and a handful of other teachers for random acts of malice, when most of us just pissed ourselves if not allowed a bathroom break, my buddy got lifted off the floor by his earring by a teacher, french teacher was malicious too, but I never had a french teacher that wasn't a jerk lol

    • @bayoubilly5176
      @bayoubilly5176 Год назад +11

      So glad I never had this. Thank you gentlemen for making me feel better about my teachers that were jerks. None did that... Yikes. Think my parents would have lost their shit.

    • @Hillbilly001
      @Hillbilly001 Год назад +18

      I too had a teacher in 1st grade that when I asked to go, she said no. So I peed my pants right then and there. Was she pissed(lol). When my Mother brought a clean pair, she asked why. When I told her what happened, I never had a problem again. Oh, and that was in 1966. Cheers

  • @WitchyHoneybee
    @WitchyHoneybee Год назад +16

    I agree with you on most things, Simon. But Pink Floyd is the best 😹

    • @ThatWriterKevin
      @ThatWriterKevin Год назад +4

      My first script ever for Simon heavily involved Pink Floyd and I was so sad to hear him shit on them the entire time

    • @WitchyHoneybee
      @WitchyHoneybee Год назад +2

      @@ThatWriterKevin I'm glad that I seem to have not watched that one... Yet.

    • @michellemire8462
      @michellemire8462 Год назад +1

      Simon likes nickelback so we know his music taste is peculiar 😅... but we like him even with the sinful things he just said about Mounty Pyton, his fondness of startrek over star wars(the 3 og ones included) Pink Floyd and his opinion on "Shouty" music. About the last if he think heavy vocals are only for untalented bums i would like to see him react to old Opeth or just him hearing all the varety of "shouty" kind of metal vocals im pretty sure that after goregrind, Papa Roach will be music to his ears!

  • @TheRealJDPerry
    @TheRealJDPerry Год назад +112

    The issues with US law enforcement are incredibly complicated, institutionalized & multifaceted but the TL;DR of the defund movement is that US police are grossly over funded & militarized with very little training, oversight & regulation while public services that would prevent many of the incidents police end up being involved in receive little to no funding at all. The idea is to take from the inflated police budgets & invest in public services like mental health services, rehabilitation, health care, education, etc.

    • @schoolForAnts
      @schoolForAnts Год назад +10

      I understand but I believe that is an inaccurate analysis of police funding. As most cops will tell you their budgets are barely enough to stay operational, and although they always seem to get expensive, high-tech, military gear, its typically in select departmentsthat are managing their funding well, earmarked for special units like Swat, purchased as some sort of PR stunt, and in the case of MRAPs, given to them by DoD/Homeland Security for free as surplus. I think a lot of people are confusing all these things with "bloated police funding" when in reality its quite the opposite. If anything Police need more funding invested into hiring higher quality candidates, and higher quality cops. You are definitely correct about our other public services not getting enough funding either, and it always seems like way too much of the funding they do get is spend to high up in the organizational chart, i.e: Public School Administrators with little educational experience making 4-5 times what qualified, experienced educators make. I can understand being paid more for having exponentially more responsibility for like a Superintendent, but i think there's a lot of fat that could be trimmed and used more effectively elsewhere. But that is the rub for just about all of these problems - money isn't going where it needs to. So even if we defund the police, and pump that money into the school system or a mental health outreach program, it would be another trick entirely to make sure it doesn't get wasted along the way. Even if it doesn't get added to someone's annual bonus, it could still go towards buying unnecessary equipment or failed outreach campaigns, or whatever. Its not something we are going to sort out easily or quickly and just saying "defund the police" is potentially dangerous as well as not a viable solution.

    • @karlharvymarx2650
      @karlharvymarx2650 Год назад +3

      I don't think anyone who votes Republican knows that is what is meant.

    • @nmgg6928
      @nmgg6928 Год назад +9

      As an American i wish more of us understood and supported this. Im not against the police im against them being under trained over militarized and the people they often conflict with having little to none of their basic needs and social and mental support met or even addressed.

    • @daxdarve8817
      @daxdarve8817 Год назад +2

      Yep and now look at many citys that defunded the police.
      And the chas zone was just commies and criminals😂

    • @DavidStruveDesigns
      @DavidStruveDesigns 11 месяцев назад +1

      @@schoolForAnts It's also all a completely moot point if the police don't have some sort of _external_ regulatory body that keeps it's officers in check and not only ensures they stay within the very laws they exist to enforce, but also has the power to actually _properly punish and hold to account_ those that break the laws or behave in a corrupt or racist manner. Said regulatory body needs to be above the various law enforcement agencies, and even above and outside political interference, so as not to be at risk of becoming corrupt itself or simply being influenced by those with political connections, individual power, money or threats of any kind.
      As anyone who has suffered from depression or addiction will tell you - the first step to dealing with and solving the problem is always _admitting there is a problem_ in the first place. This seems to be a step that the US cannot get past, since the police force itself and successive governments refuse to accept the simple fact that institutional racism and corruption DOES exist and IS a problem that needs to be dealt with. Here in the UK we too had _both_ of these issues, on a massive scale. It got so bad that by the 60s and 70s it was almost impossible for the police to actually do their job at all, barring the most heinous of crimes like serial killing and rape. Even multiple murderers were constantly getting off scot-free due to the levels of corruption in the force.
      And so we finally admitted our police had an issue, and set about to fix it with an external regulatory body. It was originally the Independent Police Complaints Commission or IPCC, but it recently got replaced by the Independent Office for Police Conduct or IOPC which had quite a few new powers that make it even more effective than its predecessor. Such as being able to open an investigation on it's own, without needing a complaint from an officer or member of the public being filed first. It also now has the power to investigate police chiefs, whereas before this was done by a separate body, and have the power to re-open previously closed cases should any new evidence arise (something the IPCC stupidly didn't have the power to do). One of the best things about the new watchdog is its ability to discipline officers even when their home force (or local department basically) disagrees with the findings and doesn't take any action against the officer itself. Not sure why a home force disagreeing overrides the IPCC conclusions in the first place, since this is essentially the same thing as the force interfering with and dictating how an investigation goes, but that is now a loophole that has been closed.

  • @DFSJR1203
    @DFSJR1203 Год назад +20

    I remember going to "Traction Park" twice a year with my mother, father, and sister. From day one we never called it Action Park our family and friends all called the park "Traction Park" due to all the accidents. Out of the 8 or 9 times we went there we always saw an ambulance hauling another person off to the hospital where they probably ended up put in Traction.

    • @vylbird8014
      @vylbird8014 Год назад +3

      And yet, you went. Because the danger was part of the thrill.

    • @pathemeleski
      @pathemeleski Год назад +3

      We called it "Accident Park"

    • @vylbird8014
      @vylbird8014 Год назад +6

      @@pathemeleski I've also heard of "Class Action Park."

    • @gnarthdarkanen7464
      @gnarthdarkanen7464 Год назад +2

      Fond memories of the couple times I got to go... Peeling the gauze and goop back to show off the "badges of honor" as proof I'd been AND that I actually did something there...
      Had my first beer with one of the "kids" in the first aid shack after skinning my back from shoulder to ass-crack on the Alpine Sled... Ended up with a couple T-shirts (the ones with the good blood stains and tears in them) so I wouldn't whine my way into an E.R...
      Society was a whole different breed in the day... for better AND for worse (if we're honest)... ;o)

    • @LRM12o8
      @LRM12o8 Год назад +2

      @@vylbird8014 "Class Action Park" is my favorite one, absolutely hilarious.
      This reminds me of when in my childhood my friend and neighbor designed an insanely dangerous action park which also featured a slide with a looping (as a piece of lore for our own role playing game around super cute killing machines inspired by Lilo & Stitch, but in a Star Wars-like SciFi war setting) and I made a monopoly-like game around his drawings where the goal was to earn enough money to visit the deadly park. Good times.
      Hilarious to learn now that a park kinda like that actually existed! 🤣

  • @antoniomromo
    @antoniomromo Год назад +394

    A quick clarification on the defund the police. Police budgets are actually massive. This is justified because police are supposed to fulfill several functions. The argument for defunding is that the money is used to fund services such as mental health intervention services which are called when the emergency involves someone who is unwell. This way people who are trained to deal with this sort of issue are the ones to handle it instead of police.

    • @decgal81
      @decgal81 Год назад +106

      Not to mention that the police in the US are militarized. That ish needs to stop

    • @omgandwtf1
      @omgandwtf1 Год назад +75

      Also the purchase of military surplus equipment by police stations with absolutely no need for it. Like Bearcats in places where they would destroy the towns roads, grenade launchers etc.

    • @SharynFacts
      @SharynFacts Год назад +81

      This. I used to work at a locked psych hospital where we were required to have police on staff. They were only allowed to intervene when a nurse turned the situation over to them (usually only when the patient somehow got ahold of a weapon). I handked many of these codes as a nurse and cannot remember many times anyone (staff or patient) got injured. The one time I saw the police handle a code, he broke the arm of a 74 year old man briskly walking toward the LOCKED exit by spearing him to the ground... as I was running toward them 40 feet away screaming, "I GOT THIS. DON'T TOUCH HIM!!!!" It has been over 10 years and it still makes my blood boil. The difference is all in how you assess a situation and best implement de-escalation techniques.
      So take some police money, give it to the mental health professionals to respond to mental health crisis situations. Sure, police can be back-up, but they clearly aren't trained to handle the mental health population in crisis.

    • @TheHarrip
      @TheHarrip Год назад +25

      @@SharynFacts wonderful explanation. I had a short sentence to make the same point. This should be undeniable. I'm sure it will become the mainstream perspective.

    • @nutmegz9534
      @nutmegz9534 Год назад +8

      👏 👏 👏

  • @Conformist138
    @Conformist138 Год назад +36

    While "defund the police" is overly simplistic, it's worth mentioning that police budgets in the US are wild. Derek Chauvin was with the Minneapolis Police Department, and their 2023 budget is $195 million. There are a few issues we have with our police:
    1. The bog budgets often end up being used for greater militarization (Makes us ask, why does my city have tanks?)
    2. Police training is bad. Not poorly funded, but actively awful. Lots of cops are taught to prioritize themselves over literally anyone/everyone.
    3. Cops are expected to do pretty much e everything from respond to murder scenes to asking homeless people not to block the sidewalk with their sleeping bags.
    The result is a violently trained, me-first wannabe army who is tasked with responding to someone dealing with a mental health crisis. What we want is to divide these budgets into more manageable departments. Let cops respond to violence, while other professionals deal with issues requiring less immediate force.

    • @lesliekilgore648
      @lesliekilgore648 10 месяцев назад

      the only thing true and worthwhile was number 3. the rest of this comment... utter dumpster fire.

    • @Blakbox92
      @Blakbox92 6 месяцев назад

      @@lesliekilgore648 Police training in the USA is much shorter and the standards for officer hiring are extremely low in comparison to the rest of the developed world. These are objective facts. Facts don't care about your feelings.

    • @mycroft791
      @mycroft791 3 месяца назад

      Under training comes from fact that there was a time too many applicants were failing out and claimed training was too difficult. So, what happens when that complaint if made about any set of standards? Those standards get lowered so anyone can be one. I live in the Sunshine State. One cannot go more than five minutes in any direction before coming across some sort of body of water or potential body of water after our normal rains - ditches, culverts, etc. Since knowing how to swim was too hard for some people, the requirement for an applicant to be able to do so has been removed. Even when they did have a swimming requirement in a police academy, it was laughable - again, because someone had complained it was too hard. Before it was repealed completely applicants had to be able to swim all of fifty meters in five minutes. So, yes, if you're in an accident here and your vehicle ends up with you somehow under water, the responding officer just might not know how to go into the water and render assistance. Hold your breath until the hose draggers get there.

  • @AlasdairMacCaluim
    @AlasdairMacCaluim Год назад +20

    I love your anti-sports rant! I agree totally. My school cared more about football than reading or writing!

    • @Stettafire
      @Stettafire Год назад +2

      Mine too. My headteacher wouldn't hold board meetings because she didn't want to be late for the game. The secretary/minute keeper (second in command to the head, who was the chair) had to rein her in and keep the meetings productive otherwise the school wouldn't be able to secure additional funding

    • @mycroft791
      @mycroft791 3 месяца назад

      At a college/university level, and sometimes even at the high school level, the football program makes the school literal tons more money than its reading or writing program does. Blame the society that likes giving up their money to extremely over paid athletes.

  • @bastionsea2829
    @bastionsea2829 Год назад +9

    .. Simon does realize that Monty Python was a series and The Holy Grail was one of several movies the company put out

  • @SPECTRA_87
    @SPECTRA_87 Год назад +5

    This reminded me of that plane that had a rough landing a few years ago, and some random guy called up a local news network and gave fake names of the pilots. They ran with those names, I think they were Ho Lee Phook, Wi tu Lo, Bing dang ow.

  • @RufusShinraPower
    @RufusShinraPower Год назад +6

    I'm kinda surprised how long the litterbox one has lasted. Like, the second someone would have heard about it, they would be like, "Is there video?" And then the lack of video should have been a tip off, since the first thing a class full of kids would have done is whip out their phones to video something ridiculous, hoping to strike it rich going viral on RUclips.

    • @blitzyosrs2104
      @blitzyosrs2104 Год назад

      but they use that to justify transphobia so the original facts don't matter because people believe non binary or trans people existing is as extreme as kids using litterboxes in classrooms.

  • @nanoglitch6693
    @nanoglitch6693 Год назад +39

    I remember PETA thinking "bonsai kittens" were real. 🤣

    • @b62boom1
      @b62boom1 Год назад +18

      Ahhhh PETA, the Proud Boys of animal rights! 🤣🤣

    • @vylbird8014
      @vylbird8014 Год назад

      @@b62boom1 I think it's really a lot of people who actually do care about animals, surrounding a core of utter nut-job fanatics. Most of the membership has no idea how crackpot the leadership are.

    • @battlesheep2552
      @battlesheep2552 Год назад +7

      The only PETA I like is People Eating Tasty Animals

    • @sherylcascadden4988
      @sherylcascadden4988 Год назад +4

      @@battlesheep2552 my favorite PETA. Bacon for the win!!!

    • @rudra62
      @rudra62 Год назад +3

      Oh, a lot of people fell for that hoax.

  • @richardh8082
    @richardh8082 Год назад +3

    When Simon started quoting the script from Monty Python Holy Grail! lolly lol lol XD

  • @williamwelch7
    @williamwelch7 Год назад +9

    This comment is for Sam. When Simon goes off on a tangent, you should show a picture of George Hamilton. Now he's a 'fine tan gent' if there ever was one!

  • @rachelwitherspoon4394
    @rachelwitherspoon4394 Год назад +4

    Oh, yet another fun one!!! It's AMAZING what people will believe,lol! Thanks Kevin, hilarious as usual!! Thanks Simon and Jen too, excellent as usual. Eta The litter is to absorb the moisture and some of the stank.

  • @BobTheSkull
    @BobTheSkull Год назад +19

    so Defund the Police has a great message but is horribly branded. when people say Defund The Police most people mean cut budgets to police departments for their para military gear and retrain them. then move that money to program for social programs instead of letting the police do them. so its just reducing police spending and opening up different departments so that the police arent stopping violent crimes as well as social situations that they arent really trained or qualified to really handle. so like have a department that does wellness checks on people if requested, can de escalate possible domestic issues, etc instead of police arriving and just escalating situations into violent situations because they dont have the training or degrees to be able to handle them.
    its a good thought but the name for that movement is horrible and easily misunderstood. doesnt help that people jumped on that bandwagon that actually wanted the police gone or people who just saw the name of the movement and wrote it off.

    • @andrecambridge4474
      @andrecambridge4474 Год назад

      It’s wild watching people who don’t read any of the 50 year old books on police abolition come in drunkenly speaking as if they understand the basics then thinking they can identify who co-opted what.
      This is the same liberal laziness MLK decried for a half decade

    • @andrecambridge4474
      @andrecambridge4474 Год назад

      1. There is not saving policing in America and claiming to know what actual educators on this topic want is lazy and disingenuous. You don’t read and lack imagination.
      2. Policing in America is not suffering a lack of resources or training or direction. Claiming they are is ahistorical at best and ignores basic finances and incentives.
      3. The police are an engine that specifically lobbies for more police spending and less oversight. If any solution you come to ends with “pay the police only X billion dollars” you’ve done nothing.

    • @scottmeredith3359
      @scottmeredith3359 2 месяца назад

      It has a great message? The only people who think it has a great message are wildly disconnected with reality. As if the entirety of human progress that has led to our current standard of living should just be chucked in the bin to effectively return to the Wild West because occasionally a cop does something terrible. These people were also pushing “ACAB”. Why should one selectively choose what is meant by “defunding police” when they are willing to slap a blanket label on a massive number of people because of their profession?

  • @ShirleyTimple
    @ShirleyTimple Год назад +29

    Best prank my friends ever played on me what peeling the labels off of my canned goods lol. I was young and broke and dinner was a bit of a lottery for weeks😆

    • @Jaysin412
      @Jaysin412 Год назад +4

      Had a bunch of stoner friends pull that on me a few years ago and learned to write contents on the bottom of the cans with a permanent marker

    • @gnarthdarkanen7464
      @gnarthdarkanen7464 Год назад +9

      Replaced the cap on hair spray with the cap from an "aerosol boat/sport horn" when the label advertised "New nozzle! Better coverage! Less waste!"
      CHRIST!!! Was my mom PISSED!!! ;o)

    • @Jaysin412
      @Jaysin412 Год назад +1

      @@gnarthdarkanen7464 that sounds awesome tbh

    • @gnarthdarkanen7464
      @gnarthdarkanen7464 Год назад +4

      @@Jaysin412 Yeah... it was kinda worth it... The unbridled fountain of filth and hate that exploded from the bathroom just after the BLAAAAT of the horn was pretty hilarious and telling of the expression that got etched on her face over it.
      AND if you asked my brother, I'm some kind of legend for my antics...
      Needless to say, I was the "asshole eldest" of sons in our household... Quick to create and tactically sufficient, but occasionally damnably capable of "out-thinking myself" as it were.
      Grounded for a month for that little stunt, though... after the whoopin'... ;o)

    • @Jaysin412
      @Jaysin412 Год назад +1

      @@gnarthdarkanen7464 lmfao. Well from one eldest to another, and the apparent legendary black sheep in a family full of them, I tip my hat and commend you! I've gotten my mom with a few good ones over the years, I think the fake pregnancy test with my first real gf was the best tho, almost gave her a heart attack, and she threatened to cut it off if we were serious, and then made the rule for my younger brothers and I, "if you ever knock a girl up before you move out, you better not come home, or she will CUT IT OFF!" No joke. She put the fear of God into me that day, I'm 39 and still don't have kids (that I know of anyway) but it was well worth the joke, my gf turned white as a ghost and cried and broke the charade first, after about 5 mins of mom giving the irresponsible talk and all that. Hahaha. Dated that girl all through middle and high school and into college, and were still friends today. Mom still talks about it at family functions when she has a few, and it's always nice laughing about it.

  • @alyssam8550
    @alyssam8550 Год назад +43

    I feel like Simon might not know the massive difference between saying you're a centrist in Europe vs in the US. It means very different things depending on where you are from lol

    • @janewayofchaos3255
      @janewayofchaos3255 Год назад +1

      American centerists are right wing l

    • @rikkatrieseverything
      @rikkatrieseverything Год назад +13

      Correct. What Simon considers "centrist" would be considered far-left socialism in America 😅(😭😭) and if Simon ever met a centrist from America, I think he'd be astounded by how far right they are.

    • @janewayofchaos3255
      @janewayofchaos3255 Год назад +7

      @@rikkatrieseverything just wait until he figures out what libertarians in the US are, as compared to libertarians anywhere else

    • @Stettafire
      @Stettafire Год назад +2

      @@rikkatrieseverything Far left by definition is not centrist. Basic geometry.

    • @rikkatrieseverything
      @rikkatrieseverything Год назад +7

      @@Stettafire congrats on missing my point entirely.

  • @RedactedATS
    @RedactedATS Год назад +8

    'Caught wind of breaking news'. I see what you did there 😁 Simon didn't tho

  • @michaelmayhem350
    @michaelmayhem350 Год назад +4

    @18:04 Simon what you don't realize is while the USA is largely anti union. Police officers are all in a very strong union its incredibly hard to fire or punish them because of this and they're pay/benefits are disproportionate to other city employees.

  • @anthonygillette
    @anthonygillette Год назад +4

    18:01 also the reason we want to defund them is more to basically not give them military weapons and equipment to raid homes and attack protesters without needing special trained teams like SWAT. I want them to be disarmed like they are in most countries, officers having itchy trigger fingers are reasons young women like Breonna Taylor were killed in cold blood. Same with family men who are killed on their porch or 12 year olds are shot for having clear air soft guns.

  • @joelperry2834
    @joelperry2834 Год назад +1

    i always enjoy watching your channels because you are willing to say things that make sense, even if it isn't the commonly accepted thoughts. I can't stand it how people will just go along with what ever is the popular opinion instead of using their brains... I live with someone who is like that and it is extremely annoying trying to talk to them.

  • @KAGdesignsDOTnet
    @KAGdesignsDOTnet Год назад +11

    My last boss decided to tell me my rolling contract wasn't going to be renewed on April fools. Had to deal with that and everyone I told thinking I was playing an April fools on them... astounding logic

    • @ThatWriterKevin
      @ThatWriterKevin Год назад +10

      And this is why April Fool's Day is the dumbest holiday ever. It's an excuse for people who aren't funny the other 364 days of the year to act like total assholes because they think they're funny.

    • @avalanche1990
      @avalanche1990 Год назад

      @@ThatWriterKevin Oh hey Kevin. Great script how's the blazement dewellers? Always nice to see you and your scripts for the supreme overlord of the Blazement

    • @KAGdesignsDOTnet
      @KAGdesignsDOTnet Год назад

      @@ThatWriterKevin think the boss was just clueless of the date since nobody there had any imagination for pranks. Or it was a clever ploy to just yell "April Fools" if I properly kicked off 🤣

    • @ThatWriterKevin
      @ThatWriterKevin Год назад

      @@avalanche1990 thanks! 💕

    • @Stettafire
      @Stettafire Год назад +1

      Where I am he would get fired for thar

  • @jessejoyce1295
    @jessejoyce1295 Год назад +28

    The fact that Simon doesn’t think Monty Python is better than Saturday night live is kind of sad

  • @bobbylon5
    @bobbylon5 Год назад +4

    He’s not the messiah! He’s just a very naughty boy! 😂

  • @srinivasanalagesan1826
    @srinivasanalagesan1826 Год назад +2

    Everytime when Chess comes up, the enthusiasm from Simon is just great.

  • @popcorn245
    @popcorn245 Год назад +11

    I love that Kevin sets up for the "Joke's on you I'm into that sh*t" Meme and Simon said "That's inappropriate Kevin" because he thought it was the "Just like a woman" Meme! 😝

  • @JokerLokison
    @JokerLokison Год назад +1

    "A few moments lay-tare..." LOL! I'm weeping with laugh-tare..."My ass! My ass! MY ASSSSSSS!"

  • @smenor
    @smenor Год назад +11

    I’m not sure if Simon or any of the writers will see this but defunding the police is not at all unreasonable.
    I’m the US we spend so much on police that they would be the third largest military in the world ( after only China’s and our own ), and when you actually look into it it turns out that they do essentially nothing to prevent crime or promote public safety
    Even if that weren’t so, consistently across precincts only about 5% of what they do has anything to do with violent crime and even that is mostly after the fact and could be better addressed through other programs
    It’d actually be worth making a video on because the reality is quite surprising and counterintuitive

    • @ThatWriterKevin
      @ThatWriterKevin Год назад +3

      It has been seen, but a video on this topic is unlikely to happen.

    • @smenor
      @smenor Год назад

      @@ThatWriterKevin not surprised by that but still greatly appreciate the consideration !

  • @seanmorgan2356
    @seanmorgan2356 Год назад +1

    No matter how many times I hear it, that "Daddy, Chill!" Meme cracks me up! 🤣 And The new one of the "F*** YEAH!!!" anime kid is awesome!

  • @mitchellpatterson1829
    @mitchellpatterson1829 Год назад +15

    On Simons de-fund the police bit. Cops have plenty of money, but they spend it on MRAPs instead of training. US police have some of the fewest training hours required in the first world, and at the same time the highest shooting rate. Seems connected somehow.

    • @meetoo594
      @meetoo594 Год назад

      Your criminals also have easy access to firearms and your lopsided justice system makes them more likely to use them. If I was an American policeman you bet I would be tooled up and ready to shoot if the perp even thought of putting his hands near his pockets.

    • @stoneskinreb
      @stoneskinreb Год назад +4

      Simon doesn't have a clue how it works, yet, he seemed to think he had solutions to what he doesn't understand. When police officers have access to literal APCs and military equipment yet don't train officers in how to de-escalate a situation, yea, the money is being spent POORLY.

  • @BlackHearthguard
    @BlackHearthguard Год назад +2

    That quote from Monty Python isn't from Flying Circus, it's from Holy Grail factboi.
    Oh, and Pink Floyd rules. They had more albums than The Wall.

  • @izwe794
    @izwe794 Год назад +3

    18:08 we've found that police training doesn't help and mostly harms the communities. It's because they go out and get trained by israeli security forces to treat americans the way they treat Palestinians, you know, open air prison, murder for fun. It doesn't help that the military gives them the same gear they used to invade iraq to "protect us." It's made worse by the active efforts of american nazis to infiltrate police forces and the war on drugs. It needs a fundamental paradigm change that they have shown us they cannot achieve with training. We do imprison more people per capita than north korea, china, russia, saudi arabia, and Iran after all. And 90% of them never had a trial. Our justice system is the worlds worst. You don't fix that without a lot of cuts. You take our bloated prison slave harvesting budget and you put it into a response team for drug and mental health cases. You end the war on drugs. You take money away so that it can be spent better by other groups to do restorative justice and rehabilitation. Rather than our system of purely punitive justice.

  • @PenelopePhantom
    @PenelopePhantom Год назад +1

    16:15 "I make plenty of mistakes, but it's not littered with mistakes".... only everything not written as fact but the script writer.
    20:35 "Stuff gets old and it doesn't get better". Like Simon, who only gets worse.

  • @muzzer5327
    @muzzer5327 Год назад +3

    Simon my man some police departments have enough money to have literal tanks in their armoury.

  • @Temajuki
    @Temajuki Год назад +2

    The Blaze editing always gets me

  • @ciciwildchild24
    @ciciwildchild24 Год назад +7

    Editor’s on fire this episode 😂 love the tangents!

  • @mirthenary
    @mirthenary Год назад +2

    That sound you hear is me banging my head against the steering wheel after Simon said "Is this from a famous movie or something" while quoting one of the more famous lines from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

  • @about7grams
    @about7grams Год назад +27

    i was literally in tears crying at recent events in my life and your upload was the first thing i clicked on and literally just the opening cut scene got me belly laughing so thank you. and now we watch the video

    • @bayoubilly5176
      @bayoubilly5176 Год назад +3

      I find well this one is the best for it. All his channels cheer me up after a bad day. Very grateful to Simon ,Danny and Sam as well as the other writers and Jen!(sorry Jen almost forgot yah).

    • @richardh8082
      @richardh8082 Год назад +5

      Hang in there Jesse. Best wishes from the UK

    • @izzy4bitney
      @izzy4bitney Год назад +2

      Hope you have a better time of it soon and wish you well!
      Sincerely, a random person on the internet.

    • @HavianEla
      @HavianEla Год назад +3

      Whatever challenges you’re facing now, they’re no match for your awesomeness! I know it may feel hopeless or crushing or dark, but these storms do weather themselves out - don’t let yourself be swept away with it

    • @ThatWriterKevin
      @ThatWriterKevin Год назад +3

      Sorry for whatever had you in tears but glad to be of service

  • @seattlenatalie
    @seattlenatalie Год назад +1

    My favorite April Fool's news story was from when I was a kid, the local TV station ran a story that the Mackinac Bridge, a 5-mile suspension bidge connecting the upper and lower peninsulas of Michigan, was being converted to a swing span bridge that would pivot from the northern connection at St. Ignace to nearby Mackinac Island. They even had on-site interviews with island ferry operators talking about losing their jobs. The spot continued for several minutes until the presenters broke down laughing as the story got more and more ridiculous. I was about 5 years old and was totally duped!

  • @MorganHorse
    @MorganHorse Год назад +14

    As an American I love that Simon, a British man living in Prague, thought to tell the FBI, which only has jurisdiction in the US, to get on this and not INTERPOL or something 😂

    • @schoolForAnts
      @schoolForAnts Год назад

      That's not entirely true, the FBI's jurisdiction for cybercrime is actually not very black and white and may exceed the "borders" of the US. In fact, they are occasionally involved in helping out foreign governments in this regard as well simply because of their resources and abilities and if there is any jurisdiction crossover. I'd also bet that Simon is assuming most of the users in this "hypothetical" dark web group are Us citizens or conduct business here.

  • @WyldstaarStudios
    @WyldstaarStudios Год назад +208

    The phrase, "Defund the police" is generally (with the exception of some extremists who don't understand reality) not meant to actually call for the elimination of all police in the US. It's meant to be a call to remove some of the funding currently earmarked for the police, and instead give it to new institutions who would be better equipped and trained to handle situations that the police are currently expected to perform, despite the fact that they are not equipped or trained to do so. The most prominent example of this is the handling of people having a mental health crisis. These people are often a danger to themselves and others. The standard response to situations like this in the US all too often is to shoot the person dead, whereas a team who are trained to deal with someone like this would be far more likely to defuse the situation and get the person going through a crisis the help they need.

    • @BobTheSkull
      @BobTheSkull Год назад +25

      said what i was trying to much better. its a great sentiment and movement that was kind of ruined with the too simple name that people ran with

    • @bayoubilly5176
      @bayoubilly5176 Год назад +11

      I just wish they'd remove the IQ limit. You test too high , they reject you. That might help as well.

    • @babygorilla4233
      @babygorilla4233 Год назад +21

      We on the left are not good at slogans. As evidenced by the paragraph required to understand "defined the police"

    • @BreakingB0x3s
      @BreakingB0x3s Год назад +7

      Just bad marketing, but I don't know how to encapsulate this comment and the whole movements sentiment to 3 words without being misunderstood.

    • @dwentlandt1022
      @dwentlandt1022 Год назад +15

      Police need to be put through mental health testing and situations. That in itself might help rid themselves of cops that murder innocent people.

  • @curtislindsey1736
    @curtislindsey1736 Год назад +4

    I just left to watch the Sherlock Holmes Biographics episode and holy shit! I forgot how much Simon has stepped up his set... and the beard!

  • @___LC___
    @___LC___ Год назад +1

    My sister is a teacher in the US and there are portable toilets made for classrooms, in most school districts the teachers are required to buy the toilets (basically a toilet seat on/over a 5 gallon bucket and a pop-up, privacy screen). Due to being labeled as “for school emergencies, such as active shooters” they are expensive, thus when she retires at the end of this year and begins her new career, she is taking the active shooter toilet kit with her.

  • @pamelamays4186
    @pamelamays4186 Год назад +4

    Sam! That Predator meme. I recognized the location. It was the San Diego Convention Center, a place where I've worked many times. I totally recognized the carpet and the exit door.

  • @carl11547
    @carl11547 Год назад +1

    The various TLDR channels are centrist. They're doing well enough to have, well, multiple channels with a substantial staff.

  • @drewrobinson5562
    @drewrobinson5562 Год назад +3

    The chess one does remind me... One of the high end players at a blitz chess tourney purposely forced the game into a draw in like... 30secs. ( Was 6 turns but his opponent was really confused because it was an obvious forced draw and he couldn't under stand why) the guy was having gut issues and needed to relive him self REALLY badly

    • @ThatWriterKevin
      @ThatWriterKevin Год назад +2

      If you watch blitz and rapid tournaments, players will go into known theory that results in a draw much more frequently than I'd expect

    • @drewrobinson5562
      @drewrobinson5562 Год назад

      @@ThatWriterKevin ya. Rather a draw than a time out right?
      But you wouldn't expect your opponent to open with a forced draw.

    • @ThatWriterKevin
      @ThatWriterKevin Год назад

      @@drewrobinson5562 I mean, if I was someone like Magnus of Hikaru I would probably expect my opponents to attempt go open with a forced draw every time they had the white pieces

    • @drewrobinson5562
      @drewrobinson5562 Год назад

      @@ThatWriterKevin hmm. Fair enough. I'll take your word on this matter.

  • @TheGrinningViking
    @TheGrinningViking Год назад +6

    Today we learn why we never see the other side of the room Simon films in.

  • @SoLongAndThanksForAllTheFish.
    @SoLongAndThanksForAllTheFish. Год назад +9

    Who else plays the game of trying to predict which post credit clip Sam is going to use?? (Nailed it!)

  • @ericaislostinthemusic2937
    @ericaislostinthemusic2937 Год назад +1

    The editing today was 🤌🏻. Y’all had me *rolling*. 😂

  • @notajetplane
    @notajetplane Год назад +10

    Dennis: You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! Arthur: Shut up! Dennis: I mean, if I went around saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

    • @TitularHeroine
      @TitularHeroine Год назад +2

      I always laugh heartily at "moistened bint" 😂😂😂😂

  • @keirangrant1607
    @keirangrant1607 Год назад +4

    I'm the same way with chess my dude. Lol, I tried to play a while ago and couldnt even remember how many steps the horsey took

  • @TheInternetHelpdeskPlays
    @TheInternetHelpdeskPlays Год назад +7

    All hail Simon. #freeDanny

  • @pfadiva
    @pfadiva Год назад +1

    The Dead Parrot Sketch is one of the funniest sketches ever written. And John Cleese kills it.

    • @jb888888888
      @jb888888888 Год назад +1

      nah it was dead when he bought it mate.

    • @pfadiva
      @pfadiva Год назад

      @@jb888888888 🤣

  • @milintica02
    @milintica02 Год назад +4

    I forget that Simon isn't US based so I'm dumbfounded when he doesn't recognize everyday things for us. But the editing makes it so much better 🤣

  • @jaybeemhardscrote7466
    @jaybeemhardscrote7466 Год назад +9

    Simon police in the US have WAAAAYYY TOO MUCH funding and it does not currently go to proper training.

  • @Daugueffxi
    @Daugueffxi Год назад +3

    American police definitely not under funder, there is even a federal program that donates second hand military gear to them (such as tanks) with the stipulation that they must put it to use or give it back. It makes them more like an occupying force in low income areas.

  • @Lngbrdninjamasta
    @Lngbrdninjamasta Год назад +2

    "Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is not the bases for a governmental system! Real power comes from a mandate from the masses not some aquatic ceremony."

    • @robins.2749
      @robins.2749 Год назад +1

      Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

  • @badgercrafts2915
    @badgercrafts2915 Год назад +5

    My mom sent me the cat one and went on an hour long rant over it 🙄

  • @Cheddar_joe
    @Cheddar_joe Год назад +1

    Sam with the DBZ and DHMIS memes and absolute internet God!!

  • @andym2612
    @andym2612 Год назад +4

    I feel exactly the same as you do about sport Simon. But I had to do 4 years of 2 afternoons.

  • @ShieAyla
    @ShieAyla Год назад

    LMAO @ "Maybe I should welcome my Lord and savior into my life."
    I heard just that line as I was reading directions to something, and immediate laughter came out of my face.

  • @zeusathena26
    @zeusathena26 Год назад +5

    The refund idea is to take that money, & use it towards mental health responders, social workers, etc. It would still be used, bit instead of a gun response, it'll be a responder that's answering a mental health call, or for health checks, safety checks, etc. People have died when a cop was checking to see if they were ok, & the cops shoot them in their house. You can only get a medical person if you say you need an ambulance for a medical emergency, & they'll still be accompanied by police who enter first.

  • @apanapandottir205
    @apanapandottir205 Год назад +1

    Oh, Simon. I man that reads fact 24/7 for a living, yet completely oblivious to so, so much.
    A true testament to his natural likability and charm haha

  • @kingpin7666
    @kingpin7666 Год назад +3

    Police in the United States are better funded than some countries armies. Some police departments have more equipment than most countries armies.

  • @catlovingtrio
    @catlovingtrio Год назад +1

    "I'm not a big operation"
    The 700 people locked in your basement would beg to differ.

  • @personzorz
    @personzorz Год назад +9

    Next April fools you need to do a casual criminalist about the Joker

  • @jacobadams2670
    @jacobadams2670 Год назад +2

    Defunding the Police is more about redistributing resources and responsibilities. Police and police departments complain all the time that they are being tasked with situations outside their scope. Well, if we shifted funds, we can shift that responsibility.

  • @jajssblue
    @jajssblue Год назад +25

    Can't wait for Simon's future Fake News RUclips channel. If you go sarcastic enough, you'll get a "broader" audience 😉

    • @trishapellis
      @trishapellis Год назад +3

      He'd never be able to keep his true opinions to himself. Look at Decoding The Unknown. Especially the episodes written by Katie (who has some doubts over whether or not ghosts exist) are just Simon ranting about how they obviously don't.

  • @Bettie04
    @Bettie04 Год назад +1

    A few years ago I saw on the news that some schools in my country was introducing "dry-swimming" (tørsvømning) to save money.
    I REALLY thought they were taking the piss on everyone; they were not... the kids were "swimming" on the soccerfield...

  • @epicrisalo1237
    @epicrisalo1237 Год назад +7

    I feel like Sam was fully on point with the memes today

    • @EMdemo
      @EMdemo Год назад +2

      Sam's always on point, honestly

  • @cleverusername9369
    @cleverusername9369 Год назад +1

    I like to think that Simon's neighbors hear him occasionally screaming "WHY?!" and think he's just having another existential breakdown and beseeching God for intervention instead of just ranting about sports.

  • @quasarsavage
    @quasarsavage Год назад +9

    The SFO crash w/ the Korean pilots names always send me 😆

    • @michaelb1761
      @michaelb1761 Год назад +4

      First thing I thought of when I saw the title. Quite possibly the best hoax/prank ever.

    • @MikeJBeebe
      @MikeJBeebe Год назад +2

      to this day, if I want to use a fake name when signing up for some online thing, my go-to is always "Bang Ding Ow".

  • @MysticWanderer
    @MysticWanderer Год назад +1

    Python and Floyd sounds like a fun day time. Simon has no taste except about Yoko

  • @Evocatorum
    @Evocatorum Год назад +4

    18:15 The police have more than enough money to do their jobs plus some. Defunding the police has to do with the overall militarization of the police departments in big cities. The other issue you point out (oversight and training) aren't being done so we're getting police with equipment meant for a combat zone being sent out to deal with basic domestic issues while equipped as an occupying military force. Couple that with the general policy practices (protect property and capital before people) and the trend is obvious. Oh, I also forgot their all protected by Qualified Immunity: they can do, with few exceptions, w/e they want and not be sued or charged for any crimes. It floors me that, after all the causal criminalist and decoding the unknowns Simon has done that this isn't abundantly obvious to him. Then again, he doesn't live in the US, so how would he know.......

  • @lemonlily4022
    @lemonlily4022 Год назад +2

    Thanks for the referral to Mike Boyd - went and watched a few of his videos and will add to my rotation 😂

  • @hoytdotblohm
    @hoytdotblohm Год назад +3

    The jokes were better in the past, like we always say here,the past was the best. Also, thank you for your content.

  • @jirom71
    @jirom71 Год назад

    OMG that decent into madness rant about sport made my day, I haven’t laughed so hard in ages

  • @troyhoover1229
    @troyhoover1229 Год назад +10

    Morse code booty beads. How could they take our OGBB "jokes on you im into that shit" from us! Missed opportunity

    • @ThatWriterKevin
      @ThatWriterKevin Год назад +6

      I tried to call for it, but Simon went no an unexpected and elongated tangent in between too sentences so it no longer worked

    • @troyhoover1229
      @troyhoover1229 Год назад +5

      @Kevin Jennings Kevin, you are a legend for the reply, an the legend of legends for trying to get Skeletor. An I hope you know we love you, an we will get all of you outta that basement. Or atleast get better cigarettes down there for ya lol.

  • @52BLUE
    @52BLUE Год назад

    Simon. Your sports rant made me choke on my food. You nearly killed me with laughter.

  • @CraftyVegan
    @CraftyVegan Год назад +3

    As far as defunding the police, the current problem in the US is that we already have police who police the police, and the police have more funding than the education system.
    Additionally, they’re being told ti go respond to situations that they’re not capable of responding to where someone like a social worker (such as Cobra Bubbles) would be a much better option.
    They’re trained to be hammers, but the situations they’re called out to need precision screwdrivers.
    We need fewer cops and more social workers

    • @RealSkoolmaster
      @RealSkoolmaster Год назад

      until we watch the social workers getting gunned down by the criminals because their arent enough cops around to deal with the actual crime.
      Precision screwdrivers dont do anything to stop a fire raging around the screw you are trying to turn.

    • @CraftyVegan
      @CraftyVegan Год назад

      @@RealSkoolmaster is that what would happen in your neighborhood? I live in a “high crime” city and literally no one in a 20mi radius to me would respond aggressively to a social worker attempting to help vs a cop coming in guns blazing to a mental illness call 🤨
      I can tell you for a fact that unarmed assistance will not be “blasted away” because it hasn’t happened once. Nurses are allowed to come and go without intervention or harassment, and even social workers (as long as they’re not harassing someone who is doing their best to take care of their kids) get respect. Check your ignorance and do some research.
      Since we took lead out of circulation, random acts of violence are all but gone.

    • @RealSkoolmaster
      @RealSkoolmaster Год назад

      @@CraftyVegan You say you live in a high crime city, yet the situation you describe does not equal a high crime city.
      When we have EMTs who have to carry their own firearm to return fire from the back of an ambulance because the local populace is trying to kill them to keep them from getting a shot man off the street, I have zero doubt that other unarmed emergency workers will meet the same fate.
      Yes, the EMT story Is true for a local city to me (about 20 minutes) and happened to a family member of mine who happened to be the EMT. Just because a city is claimed to be "high crime" doesnt mean it is so, necessarily. For many years, the number 1 worst spot to live in the entire US was a small town in Alabama, due to crime and poverty.

    • @RealSkoolmaster
      @RealSkoolmaster Год назад

      @@CraftyVegan here is one from my own life that I dont talk about much.
      I spent nearly a decade in an organization that was Not, in any way, connected to the police, but protected abused children.
      I have been under fire, literally, for that. Protecting an abused kid, stopping the abuser from getting in the house. Sorry, but no. I do NOT expect the criminal element to join hands and sing with us once the cops have lower funding.
      When you take the fence off the chicken coop, the foxes dont turn vegan

    • @CraftyVegan
      @CraftyVegan Год назад

      @@RealSkoolmaster I think you hit it more on the head when you said “poverty”
      Humans, in general, don’t commit crimes unless they’re desperate or unless there’s some other mitigating factor. Like high lead levels.
      I can come close to guaranteeing that your town is still dealing with high lead levels, which causes impulse control issues and low intelligence. Two highly correlated factors for crime and poverty.