The part about dedicating 3-6 months of your life to creating healthy routines/habits & changing the overall trajectory of your life is sooooooo crucial!! I’m 23 and currently in that season of my life and can’t wait to see where it takes me. You dropped so many gems! Such a great video, as always ❤️
Major thing I've learned in my big age of 33 is realizing that everyone's problems (specifically family) are not mine & it's not responsibility to help everyone. I'm figuring out life like everyone else & it's okay to be unapologetically selfish.
Everything you said is exactly things I wished I would have known while in my 20's. I'm 35 now. If I had to add a few, I would probably say a job is a job. You go there just to make money to survive. Don't feel obligated to make friends with your co-workers. Don't be afraid to go to H.R. if you feel like you're being bullied or harassed. Another good one is, people will walk out of your life and blame it on mental health. If they do this without giving you the common courtesy, let them go. And don't look back. If they did it once, they will do it again. Last one... DO NOT TELL YOUR FRIEND'S EVERYTHING. 9 times out of 10 they don't share everything with you. Keep somethings to yourself.
Girl these videos could be 3 hours long and I’m watching every second of it. I seriously love these kinds of videos from you! Keep glowing and growing sis!
At 29 I offer this: Your journey is yours and it won’t look like everyone else’s. Learn to be okay with God’s timing for certain things to unfold in your life AND be okay with walking away from people, places, and things that do not align with the life you desire for yourself.
Ashley! This is why I love you! You are dropping gems that we can all learn in our 20s, 30s, 40s, etc. Thank you for empowering us to believe that we can be that girl…no matter what!
BOUNDARIESSSSSSS! Take the time to learn yourself, don't be afraid to go ghost, focus on building up your work ethic and discipline, while making time to DATE YOURSELF. It will all outwardly teach people what level they'll need to meet you at. And find your voice so people learn not to take advantage of you or disrespect you.
now that i am 27 i have learned that everything & everyone does not need a explanation if you say no. i use to come up with lies so i wouldn’t seem rude but now i just say no if i just simply don’t feel like it.
LESSON ALERT- “What’s meant to be will be” Everything happens for a reason. Don’t all ways look at something that doesn’t work out as a “let down” or “failure” some times those “failures” happen to set you up for something better that you weren’t even thinking of or thought could be possible. This applies to jobs, friends, relationships, etc. Example- that boyfriend that you just broke up with is definitely a heartbreak BUT not a life ender. If it didn’t work out it’s for a reason. Learn from your mistakes and theirs too so that you can grow from it and not make those same mistakes again. Most time after you finally get over it you realize you dodged a bullet and that you were grateful for the experience because it made you strong and more prepared.
Ashley this video was SOOO good! I watched it all the way through and couldn’t believe it had been over an hour. I’m 24 and I’m learning to take self awareness and reflection seriously to retrain myself. It’s hard to work past mindsets and limiting beliefs you’ve held on to since childhood but it will make you a better person to be in relationship (friend, family, romantic, etc.) with and bring you so much peace! We can get so used to our damaged way of thinking that we’ll always point fingers at someone else instead of facing our toxic habits.
This one is verry specific but: If you are young, have sensitive skin, & don't have enough money or courage to remove your hair with waxing, get a men's electric beard trimmer and try it. Say goodbye to those unsightly razor bumps you can get from handheld shavers. Keep your skin moisturized and exfoliate. This might seem basic, but I wish I would have known this in high school. The struggle was really really real
Agreed! Living by yourself is the best. I've lived with roommates, and though I've had mostly great situations, nothing tops living by myself, doing what I want when I want, being as loud or quite as I want, talking or not talking, just the best.
You hit the nail on the head when you spoke about friendships. I recently had to let a friend go simply because we were only friends because we had “pain” in common. For example, us dealing with bad relationships or mental health issues. I am no longer in that head space so I had to realize that I’ve outgrown the friendship because I’m not in pain anymore so I had to ask myself “what else do we have in common” NOTHING
Everything the Bible states that love is (1corinthians…) accept nothing less than. (This depends on what your beliefs are and don’t be unequally yoked) ❤️
I am a baby boomer who watches and enjoys your vlogs as well as your Instagram.😊 I am excited and happy for the younger generation that finds new, creative, unique ways to be financially free or to have that financial freedom; I think it’s incredible! As it relates to your comment on friends or just people in general-someone shared with me awhile back that people are brought into your life for a reason, season and or lifetime and I find that to be so true 😊 Keep doing you!!
Every single thing was money. The jealousy thing, the career thing got me the hardest. My add on: learn to be honest with yourself as soon as possible. Come to terms with the amount of influence you have on your life because sometimes youll find yourself wanting/ pursuing things you dont even really want because of what youre consuming. Then when you learn yourself do whats best for you even if its not popular. Theres so many trends and as you get older you catch on that they are just trends you dont need to hop on them, you need to just rock with your essentials and what you want for yourself.
I have been living by myself since graduating from college and I love it! I love being able to live my life on my own terms. It’s weird but I love coming home to silence. I am a social person but I love being myself. It’s an indescribable feeling. 😊
This was EVERYTHING! I’m 31 so every single topic hit girl. I’ve experienced it all…The no good men, crazy friendships, homeownership, etc..My little advice is not to take everything personally. When people mistreat you it’s not always about you but more so about what they may be going through. Hope this helps ❤️
You hit the nail on the head about post grad depression! I graduated in Dec 2015 with my MBA and I literally didn’t know what to do with myself. I was so depressed for weeks after my graduation trying to figure out Life after College. Once i find my way and secured a job in my career choice, i found my purpose 🙌🏽
I love hearing you talk about men and friendship because it is what I believe whole heartedly!!! It's the reason why I have like two friends and have only had been in (and currently in) one relationship. We need to be more stingy with our time and who gets be in our presence because not everyone has the best intentions. I could listen to you talk about topics for hours lol. Great video!
Cute video! I’m in my mid ish 30s, the biggest tip I have is to please please please invest/ save for your future self..a 401K/403, or an IRA. Your future self will be so thankful that you did. Most of my peers that did have close to or 6 figures already saved up, that compound interest really is magic.
I LOVE THIS ASHLEY!!! I have a 13 year old daughter and I'm instilling these things in her RIGHT NOW age appropriately, but yeah! lol. You are the G.O.A.T when it comes to these serious sit downs with amazing solutions!!
I’ll start a podcast when the response to my chit chat videos becomes overwhelming and calls for a new platform! Until then, consider this my podcast in video form! 🥰
The dating part about men dropping the ball 🎯 it’s easier said than done but do not stay with a man that is not ready for you. That doesn’t even have to be financially but even as far as seeing that he’s divided or doesn’t know what he wants. Also, keep in mind that friendship is cool even if you like them, leave it at that until he’s at a better place mentally, financially emotionally, maturity wise, then y’all can date and potentially take it to marriage, but if you see and your intuition tells you he’s not ready for you or actively, consistently getting ready to be able to have a partner then let him be. If he cheats, no matter the circumstances because all men do not cheat because that was their intention, still, let him be. If y’all decide to come back to relationship status after time & healing on both ends then do that. I don’t recommend staying in situations that bring that much pain or grief into your life. Pure happiness and being treated right the first time is real and it’s out there. Also beware of married men or even older men that come after you now that you’re at a decent age in your 20s. I never had to deal with that until now. I’m 24 and I still feel like a baby 🥴 Just steer clear love. Other advice: take the time in life to be by yourself. Take yourself on dates, go to the movies by yourself, stay in the apartment by yourself without a roommate or a significant other, etc. Be by yourself, get to know yourself, love on yourself. Also, love how Ashley pointed out finding your signature. Do that! All the way down to your nail shape, hair style, perfume scents, style of clothing, etc. Loved this chit chat! It was needed 🤍
I just turned 40 and loved this video!!! Still learning some of these things. I’ve been watching your videos for a few years now and i don’t think I’ve ever commented…..so hey girl heyyyy! Love your channel and your growth over the years. Thanks for sharing!
everything you said was so insightful but the one that really hit home with me was take pictures and videos with your loved ones. my cousin passed away unexpectedly, and she was so young that i thought we’d have more time to document our lives together. i’d give anything to have a photo of us grown up. so yes, no matter how annoying it might be, take those photos. capture those memories. one day, they’ll be all you have 💗
Hello from your soon to be 38 year old friend 👋🏾 I would say to the younger ladies, and my twenty year old self ... be kind to yourself, give yourself grace. Do not take yourself so seriously, don’t be uptight; RELAX and breathe. Saying no has never been a problem for me, but I see so many younger ladies having a hard time saying no and explaining themselves. Please remember, NO is a complete statement and it doesn’t not need an explanation. Again, be kind to yourself.
The traveling this hit me so hard. I just learned that this year. Like now I'm just learning to have friends for certain activities. I don't have to do every single thing with the same people.
These were such good lessons that you learned!! One that I learned that has changed my life is that my life is my own. My parents (and other impt family members) opinions matter but they are not law. Also the love is unconditional, so there’s nothing I can do that will make them stop loving me. Learning that at 30 changed the way I move. I may disappoint them but if I’m doing what’s best for me, everything will work out fine! 🧡
I loved loved this video! so many gems. I am only 24 but I have been through a lot and I really wish I knew that life is honestly so beautiful and it is only as good as you make it. Also understanding that things do happen for a reason. And to not allow how others treat your or "love" you to determine your self worth and the love you should have for yourself if that makes sense. I am currently feeling kind of stuck so I will def do the 3-6month dedication because depression will suck the life out of you but once you get past it and no longer allow that label to define you it is tough seeing the world and getting your life back. loved this video so much!
It’s okay to tell your parents and loved ones that even tho they did their very best, that it wasn’t good for you. That doesn’t mean you love them any less, or that your discrediting their best. It just means you needed something different than they gave and that’s fine
Turning 21 soon and my anxiety about a lot has been through the ceiling. Watching this video was everything and you just inspire me and the woman I want to be in the future. 💖
I turned 25 this year and all of this is unfolding in my life, this talk was so needed! Down to the adult acne and the really bad anxiety. We appreciate every minute of you taking the time to explore your realizations with us 💕
Know your rights, ESP. IN THE CAREER REALM. Know your rights as an employee. Always advocate for yourself because people will try to play you solely based on age.
Wow! Ashley you may have just saved the rest of my 20’s journey. The part on “treating your career as a video game”, unbelievably relatable, honestly cant wait to create my ‘character’. And especially the post grad depression. omg. Felt it. Lived it. YOU, got a piece of me that I didn’t even know existed Through it with this video❤️. Absolutely love your content and SIS YOUR SKIN LOOKS SOOO GOOD!, Sending positive energy your way.❤️
I love everything about this video! This video really hit me in so many ways and I’ll be 28 in May. I sent this to all my friends for them to watch because this video is very powerful Ashley 🙌🏽. One lesson I wish I would’ve learned before my 20’s is to not put your all into a man because if you do, that gives them power to break you down and put you in a place you never wished you would’ve been put in. Please more videos like this!
Loved this, as usual, Ashley! Definitely agree on Post Grad Depression, you’ll get through it ladies! This is new, you’ve never been here in adulthood before, give yourself grace & finally listen to yourself to figure it out! & One lesson I wish I learned before my twenties was that my life was my own 😲 and how special is it that everyone has their own too, to worry about and to live how THEY want life to be lived 🤗 (even/especially the elders in your life), meaning do what you want, this one is YOURS, girl!!!
I absolutely love you Ashley. I should start paying you for therapy session because this was most definitely the therapy I needed. Great conversations and wine.
I’m currently focusing on cultivating meaningful female friendships instead of romantic relationships and overall surface friendships. Community is so important for self-worth and morale boosting.
I wish someone would have really told me to DECENTER THE MALE GAZE! I spent so much time worry about if a guy liked me or trying to be in a relationship when really I should have enjoyed going out, going on dates here & there, building my friendships, & career.
I love this, post grad I got a great paying job after graduation but the pandemic hit and had to wait months to start. After I actually started I hated the mess out of it. The worst experience ever and now trying to get back to me, self care and self love. The job really took over my life. But yes! Push through it and fight for what you want ladies!! Glad you spoke on so many great points 💚
We may be the same age but I'm always learning from you! That's what matters most to me as a woman.... a black woman at that. When you said the baby boomer dream is outdated I had a huge AHA moment! I love you Ash! Thank you being the big sister the generation under us needs and even our own generation.
I am seventeen, However I enjoy this video and reading the comments feels like advice from loving aunties. I will most definitely keeping in mind these advice and going back to this in moments I need a reminder/clarify. I wish everyone well and take care, God bless! ps - I really like the credit card tip, can't yet get one. But when I do, will be using the pay half on the 15 and the rest 3 days before the end of the month. To add for having memories and photos of loved ones! My father would take photos and I am grateful as, Its like a mental time travel through those images, looking through the photo album. So, I would suggest having a photo album/scrapbook, which is more a decorative photo album, i'd say. To have a physical copy. So when you want to tune out from media, you can still look at the memories you made through that album.
I thoroughly enjoyed this video and your honesty. Things I wish I would have learned before my 20s is to enjoy life while you have no responsibilities (aka kids) because it’s a different ball game when you’re not just free to do as you please. Yes I would love a dedicated video to your soft glam routine please.
I’m going to have so many comments on this video! I already know. First I want to chime in on the schooling. It’s hammered into the minds of young people for so long to just get these degrees with no plan to transition into actual adulthood. I also feel like Americans specifically are made to fear exploring other avenues of living life. Were taught that other countries are dangerous, encouraged to obtain education (and huge debt), work ourselves to death, obtain properties and responsibilities we may or may not be ready for (marriage, homes and children) only to miss out on so many opportunities and experiences worth mentioning. Whew! I could go on and on. Don’t get me started on the full time job crap…
You're right about the home ownership thing. I have investment properties but have yet to buy a home for myself to live in. There are so many variables to consider with home ownership. I don't know where I want to settle. I potentially want to live in different countries. I don't really want a base at this stage of my life or perhaps ever.
I’m 21 ☺️ and I’ve learned not to keep people around that make you feel guilty for setting boundaries for most of my life It’s been really hard for me to speak up for myself and set these boundaries out of fear of losing people but now I’m seeing I don’t want that kind of energy around me anyway the right people will respect them period. I’m also learning to honor my sensitivity and realizing I’m not too sensitive some people (even family) are just comfortable with disrespecting you and I’ll no longer tolerate that
Thank you for sharing your tips, I learned so much and hopefully I can start applying these tips now so that I'm somewhat prepared when I do enter my 20s.
This was so informative especially the bathroom things you learned and they explain some things lol. I def agree with taking pictures I have next to none from undergrad and regret it so bad now that I think back at those times they were so fun but I have no physical memories to hold onto,
Smiling at something you said. I'm 31. Dated a guy for most my 20s, asked What future do you see for us? I asked twice at different intervals and never got an answer. I even told another guy about it years later and his response was: He didn't even tell a lie? Just goes to show right. In a much happier place now, thank God.
It is NEVER TOO LATE… I’ve gone back and completed a few things I could have done in my 20s but didn’t because at the time I felt it was too late. Yes listen to your Elders we have life wisdom…
I rarely ever watch a YT video these days without skipping through it--but this was such an easy watch. You practically said everything that has crossed my mind within this past year. And, the "don't date a medium ugly man in a bad financial situation" felt like a personal attack lmao. Men of all types (unfortunately) are attracted to classy attractive women who carry themselves well and live elevated lifestyles but many men cannot maintain them; and despite social media rhetoric, wanting someone to come into your (already full) life and add to/enhance it does not make you a "bird" or "golddigger"--it makes you smart (and less miserable down the road...trust me).
I’m so happy I found your channel! I love your content so far. You’re a couple years older than I am, and already feel like you’re the older sister I always needed lol.
As a 31year young black American woman: Yes, yes, YEEESSSS to ALL the above!! Give the growls some hope out here! Definitely inspires me to chime in! Great video as always, Ashley!💕
EVERYTHING YOU SHARED IS GOLD ❤️ Just turned 22 and it feels like you made this video specifically for me.. I’m so grateful for this 🙏🏽 YOU’RE AN AMAZING PERSON, LOVE YOU ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you!!!!
lmaoooo i'm afraid you're spilling !!! thank you for this video 1st of all... this is def needed given the climate. you pulled everything out of my head that for a long time i thought it was just me going through it... tysm 💚 1 lesson i learned (applied) in my 20s: writing things down; 1a. get a planner, 1b. a dry erase board/calendar - to get everything out of your head and into practice/practical action(s)
Love. Love. Love this video I literally want to write a book about the lessons I have learned in my 20’s and how ghetto they are. 😅😂🥴 Also a lesson I have learned it’s okay to have different friends for different things you don’t always have to mix your friend groups!
Hey girl hey! We missed you here in RUclips land and you came back strong. This whole video was RNS, especially the dating part. This is so true about men who approach a woman that’s well groomed and then don’t want to take her on a real date. Women think good men don’t exist but it’s billions of people in the world, what one won’t another one will. Also women stop letting these fools tell you he likes a natural girl and he doesn’t want you wearing hair, nails and makeup. Do wtf you want don’t let him make up basic because every girl that doesn’t wear it doesn’t make them automatically pretty and the ones that do aren’t automatically ugly just always feel like you’re best self, you deserve it. You have to live with yourself other ppl don’t!
This video came at the RIGHT time. So many gems were dropped in this video. I'm turning 25 in less than 7 months and I've been feeling stuck. So I'm going to use the time from now until my 25th to really position myself into a good life - no more going with the flow in any aspect! 😭🥰
please ashley dedicated soft glam makeup tutorial with a brush application breakdown if you can. 💕 learned a lot from this video, i loved this concept. 💗
The part about dedicating 3-6 months of your life to creating healthy routines/habits & changing the overall trajectory of your life is sooooooo crucial!! I’m 23 and currently in that season of my life and can’t wait to see where it takes me. You dropped so many gems! Such a great video, as always ❤️
Major thing I've learned in my big age of 33 is realizing that everyone's problems (specifically family) are not mine & it's not responsibility to help everyone. I'm figuring out life like everyone else & it's okay to be unapologetically selfish.
Yes mam this !!!!!
Yess!!!
Same sis!
Everything you said is exactly things I wished I would have known while in my 20's. I'm 35 now.
If I had to add a few, I would probably say a job is a job. You go there just to make money to survive. Don't feel obligated to make friends with your co-workers. Don't be afraid to go to H.R. if you feel like you're being bullied or harassed.
Another good one is, people will walk out of your life and blame it on mental health. If they do this without giving you the common courtesy, let them go. And don't look back. If they did it once, they will do it again.
Last one... DO NOT TELL YOUR FRIEND'S EVERYTHING. 9 times out of 10 they don't share everything with you. Keep somethings to yourself.
Girl these videos could be 3 hours long and I’m watching every second of it. I seriously love these kinds of videos from you! Keep glowing and growing sis!
At 29 I offer this: Your journey is yours and it won’t look like everyone else’s. Learn to be okay with God’s timing for certain things to unfold in your life AND be okay with walking away from people, places, and things that do not align with the life you desire for yourself.
Ashley! This is why I love you! You are dropping gems that we can all learn in our 20s, 30s, 40s, etc. Thank you for empowering us to believe that we can be that girl…no matter what!
BOUNDARIESSSSSSS! Take the time to learn yourself, don't be afraid to go ghost, focus on building up your work ethic and discipline, while making time to DATE YOURSELF. It will all outwardly teach people what level they'll need to meet you at. And find your voice so people learn not to take advantage of you or disrespect you.
now that i am 27 i have learned that everything & everyone does not need a explanation if you say no. i use to come up with lies so i wouldn’t seem rude but now i just say no if i just simply don’t feel like it.
This!!!! I'm learning this too!!
I’m learning this to even though I’m 21
So true ,I’m 26 and this where I’m standing now
Chileeeeeee thisssss
Totally agree
LESSON ALERT- “What’s meant to be will be”
Everything happens for a reason. Don’t all ways look at something that doesn’t work out as a “let down” or “failure” some times those “failures” happen to set you up for something better that you weren’t even thinking of or thought could be possible. This applies to jobs, friends, relationships, etc. Example- that boyfriend that you just broke up with is definitely a heartbreak BUT not a life ender. If it didn’t work out it’s for a reason. Learn from your mistakes and theirs too so that you can grow from it and not make those same mistakes again. Most time after you finally get over it you realize you dodged a bullet and that you were grateful for the experience because it made you strong and more prepared.
Ashley this video was SOOO good! I watched it all the way through and couldn’t believe it had been over an hour. I’m 24 and I’m learning to take self awareness and reflection seriously to retrain myself. It’s hard to work past mindsets and limiting beliefs you’ve held on to since childhood but it will make you a better person to be in relationship (friend, family, romantic, etc.) with and bring you so much peace! We can get so used to our damaged way of thinking that we’ll always point fingers at someone else instead of facing our toxic habits.
This one is verry specific but: If you are young, have sensitive skin, & don't have enough money or courage to remove your hair with waxing, get a men's electric beard trimmer and try it. Say goodbye to those unsightly razor bumps you can get from handheld shavers. Keep your skin moisturized and exfoliate.
This might seem basic, but I wish I would have known this in high school. The struggle was really really real
Agreed! Living by yourself is the best. I've lived with roommates, and though I've had mostly great situations, nothing tops living by myself, doing what I want when I want, being as loud or quite as I want, talking or not talking, just the best.
You hit the nail on the head when you spoke about friendships. I recently had to let a friend go simply because we were only friends because we had “pain” in common. For example, us dealing with bad relationships or mental health issues. I am no longer in that head space so I had to realize that I’ve outgrown the friendship because I’m not in pain anymore so I had to ask myself “what else do we have in common” NOTHING
That trauma bonding is too real
Everything the Bible states that love is (1corinthians…) accept nothing less than. (This depends on what your beliefs are and don’t be unequally yoked) ❤️
I am a baby boomer who watches and enjoys your vlogs as well as your Instagram.😊 I am excited and happy for the younger generation that finds new, creative, unique ways to be financially free or to have that financial freedom; I think it’s incredible! As it relates to your comment on friends or just people in general-someone shared with me awhile back that people are brought into your life for a reason, season and or lifetime and I find that to be so true 😊 Keep doing you!!
Every single thing was money. The jealousy thing, the career thing got me the hardest. My add on: learn to be honest with yourself as soon as possible. Come to terms with the amount of influence you have on your life because sometimes youll find yourself wanting/ pursuing things you dont even really want because of what youre consuming. Then when you learn yourself do whats best for you even if its not popular. Theres so many trends and as you get older you catch on that they are just trends you dont need to hop on them, you need to just rock with your essentials and what you want for yourself.
I have been living by myself since graduating from college and I love it! I love being able to live my life on my own terms. It’s weird but I love coming home to silence. I am a social person but I love being myself. It’s an indescribable feeling. 😊
Yes! It's amazing.
This was EVERYTHING! I’m 31 so every single topic hit girl. I’ve experienced it all…The no good men, crazy friendships, homeownership, etc..My little advice is not to take everything personally. When people mistreat you it’s not always about you but more so about what they may be going through. Hope this helps ❤️
You hit the nail on the head about post grad depression! I graduated in Dec 2015 with my MBA and I literally didn’t know what to do with myself. I was so depressed for weeks after my graduation trying to figure out Life after College. Once i find my way and secured a job in my career choice, i found my purpose 🙌🏽
I love hearing you talk about men and friendship because it is what I believe whole heartedly!!! It's the reason why I have like two friends and have only had been in (and currently in) one relationship. We need to be more stingy with our time and who gets be in our presence because not everyone has the best intentions. I could listen to you talk about topics for hours lol. Great video!
Cute video! I’m in my mid ish 30s, the biggest tip I have is to please please please invest/ save for your future self..a 401K/403, or an IRA. Your future self will be so thankful that you did. Most of my peers that did have close to or 6 figures already saved up, that compound interest really is magic.
Protect your womb, travel more, invest in stocks, maintain self care, breach out out when dating, and just do it; don't second guess yourself.
I definitely wish I Knew that about friendship. Ugh. The heart in you tries to see the heart in others, when they don’t have one!!
I LOVE THIS ASHLEY!!! I have a 13 year old daughter and I'm instilling these things in her RIGHT NOW age appropriately, but yeah! lol. You are the G.O.A.T when it comes to these serious sit downs with amazing solutions!!
Do you have a podcast? Bc girllllllll i love these talks
I’ll start a podcast when the response to my chit chat videos becomes overwhelming and calls for a new platform! Until then, consider this my podcast in video form! 🥰
The dating part about men dropping the ball 🎯 it’s easier said than done but do not stay with a man that is not ready for you. That doesn’t even have to be financially but even as far as seeing that he’s divided or doesn’t know what he wants. Also, keep in mind that friendship is cool even if you like them, leave it at that until he’s at a better place mentally, financially emotionally, maturity wise, then y’all can date and potentially take it to marriage, but if you see and your intuition tells you he’s not ready for you or actively, consistently getting ready to be able to have a partner then let him be.
If he cheats, no matter the circumstances because all men do not cheat because that was their intention, still, let him be. If y’all decide to come back to relationship status after time & healing on both ends then do that. I don’t recommend staying in situations that bring that much pain or grief into your life. Pure happiness and being treated right the first time is real and it’s out there.
Also beware of married men or even older men that come after you now that you’re at a decent age in your 20s. I never had to deal with that until now. I’m 24 and I still feel like a baby 🥴 Just steer clear love.
Other advice: take the time in life to be by yourself. Take yourself on dates, go to the movies by yourself, stay in the apartment by yourself without a roommate or a significant other, etc. Be by yourself, get to know yourself, love on yourself.
Also, love how Ashley pointed out finding your signature. Do that! All the way down to your nail shape, hair style, perfume scents, style of clothing, etc.
Loved this chit chat! It was needed 🤍
I just turned 40 and loved this video!!! Still learning some of these things. I’ve been watching your videos for a few years now and i don’t think I’ve ever commented…..so hey girl heyyyy! Love your channel and your growth over the years. Thanks for sharing!
Now that I finished watching this, just wanted to say I LOVE ALL OF IT.
everything you said was so insightful but the one that really hit home with me was take pictures and videos with your loved ones.
my cousin passed away unexpectedly, and she was so young that i thought we’d have more time to document our lives together. i’d give anything to have a photo of us grown up.
so yes, no matter how annoying it might be, take those photos. capture those
memories. one day, they’ll be all you have 💗
Hello from your soon to be 38 year old friend 👋🏾 I would say to the younger ladies, and my twenty year old self ... be kind to yourself, give yourself grace. Do not take yourself so seriously, don’t be uptight; RELAX and breathe. Saying no has never been a problem for me, but I see so many younger ladies having a hard time saying no and explaining themselves. Please remember, NO is a complete statement and it doesn’t not need an explanation. Again, be kind to yourself.
The traveling this hit me so hard. I just learned that this year. Like now I'm just learning to have friends for certain activities. I don't have to do every single thing with the same people.
These were such good lessons that you learned!! One that I learned that has changed my life is that my life is my own. My parents (and other impt family members) opinions matter but they are not law. Also the love is unconditional, so there’s nothing I can do that will make them stop loving me. Learning that at 30 changed the way I move. I may disappoint them but if I’m doing what’s best for me, everything will work out fine! 🧡
I loved loved this video! so many gems. I am only 24 but I have been through a lot and I really wish I knew that life is honestly so beautiful and it is only as good as you make it. Also understanding that things do happen for a reason. And to not allow how others treat your or "love" you to determine your self worth and the love you should have for yourself if that makes sense. I am currently feeling kind of stuck so I will def do the 3-6month dedication because depression will suck the life out of you but once you get past it and no longer allow that label to define you it is tough seeing the world and getting your life back. loved this video so much!
It’s okay to tell your parents and loved ones that even tho they did their very best, that it wasn’t good for you. That doesn’t mean you love them any less, or that your discrediting their best. It just means you needed something different than they gave and that’s fine
Literally, same.
Wish you were getting back all the effort you put into your videos. The content is so good.
Thank you 🥺
39:00. Amen!!! I'm 29. And I learned that family can be toxic. And you dont need toxic people in your life.
Turning 21 soon and my anxiety about a lot has been through the ceiling. Watching this video was everything and you just inspire me and the woman I want to be in the future. 💖
I turned 25 this year and all of this is unfolding in my life, this talk was so needed! Down to the adult acne and the really bad anxiety. We appreciate every minute of you taking the time to explore your realizations with us 💕
This is so open and honest! Thank you for being so vulnerable ❤️
Not the gerbil!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Know your rights, ESP. IN THE CAREER REALM. Know your rights as an employee. Always advocate for yourself because people will try to play you solely based on age.
Wow! Ashley you may have just saved the rest of my 20’s journey. The part on “treating your career as a video game”, unbelievably relatable, honestly cant wait to create my ‘character’. And especially the post grad depression. omg. Felt it. Lived it. YOU, got a piece of me that I didn’t even know existed Through it with this video❤️. Absolutely love your content and SIS YOUR SKIN LOOKS SOOO GOOD!,
Sending positive energy your way.❤️
The post grad depression segment was soooo relatable! Omg thank you. Currently pushing through.
I love everything about this video! This video really hit me in so many ways and I’ll be 28 in May. I sent this to all my friends for them to watch because this video is very powerful Ashley 🙌🏽. One lesson I wish I would’ve learned before my 20’s is to not put your all into a man because if you do, that gives them power to break you down and put you in a place you never wished you would’ve been put in. Please more videos like this!
Loved this, as usual, Ashley! Definitely agree on Post Grad Depression, you’ll get through it ladies! This is new, you’ve never been here in adulthood before, give yourself grace & finally listen to yourself to figure it out! & One lesson I wish I learned before my twenties was that my life was my own 😲 and how special is it that everyone has their own too, to worry about and to live how THEY want life to be lived 🤗 (even/especially the elders in your life), meaning do what you want, this one is YOURS, girl!!!
I absolutely love you Ashley. I should start paying you for therapy session because this was most definitely the therapy I needed. Great conversations and wine.
Thank you so much for this video and just the positivity, light and love. I am turning 22 in January and really needed this big sis moment. 💕
I’m currently focusing on cultivating meaningful female friendships instead of romantic relationships and overall surface friendships. Community is so important for self-worth and morale boosting.
💕 hoping you the best in that pursuit its a worthy one💕
I wish someone would have really told me to DECENTER THE MALE GAZE! I spent so much time worry about if a guy liked me or trying to be in a relationship when really I should have enjoyed going out, going on dates here & there, building my friendships, & career.
I love this, post grad I got a great paying job after graduation but the pandemic hit and had to wait months to start. After I actually started I hated the mess out of it. The worst experience ever and now trying to get back to me, self care and self love. The job really took over my life. But yes! Push through it and fight for what you want ladies!! Glad you spoke on so many great points 💚
This was deep and informative for everyone so much packed in this video love it
My girl dropped gems!!!
Soooo many gems here! One is add is go to therapy! Everybody has something to heal from, work through, and/or improve.
I hope you do more videos like this 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🥰🥰 Ashley you grew up so incredibly and very mature😇😇
We may be the same age but I'm always learning from you! That's what matters most to me as a woman.... a black woman at that.
When you said the baby boomer dream is outdated I had a huge AHA moment!
I love you Ash! Thank you being the big sister the generation under us needs and even our own generation.
I am seventeen, However I enjoy this video and reading the comments feels like advice from loving aunties. I will most definitely keeping in mind these advice and going back to this in moments I need a reminder/clarify.
I wish everyone well and take care,
God bless!
ps - I really like the credit card tip, can't yet get one. But when I do, will be using the pay half on the 15 and the rest 3 days before the end of the month.
To add for having memories and photos of loved ones! My father would take photos and I am grateful as, Its like a mental time travel through those images, looking through the photo album. So, I would suggest having a photo album/scrapbook, which is more a decorative photo album, i'd say. To have a physical copy. So when you want to tune out from media, you can still look at the memories you made through that album.
I always love these sit down/talk videos from you!! ❤️
Of course RUclips counts! Time management.. accounting .. creativity.. meeting deadlines .. effective communicator .. should I go on?
I just sent this video to my three daughters… thank you
As a woman in her mid 30’s these are ALLLLLL FACTS!!!!
I thoroughly enjoyed this video and your honesty. Things I wish I would have learned before my 20s is to enjoy life while you have no responsibilities (aka kids) because it’s a different ball game when you’re not just free to do as you please. Yes I would love a dedicated video to your soft glam routine please.
I’m going to have so many comments on this video! I already know. First I want to chime in on the schooling. It’s hammered into the minds of young people for so long to just get these degrees with no plan to transition into actual adulthood. I also feel like Americans specifically are made to fear exploring other avenues of living life. Were taught that other countries are dangerous, encouraged to obtain education (and huge debt), work ourselves to death, obtain properties and responsibilities we may or may not be ready for (marriage, homes and children) only to miss out on so many opportunities and experiences worth mentioning. Whew! I could go on and on. Don’t get me started on the full time job crap…
You're right about the home ownership thing. I have investment properties but have yet to buy a home for myself to live in. There are so many variables to consider with home ownership. I don't know where I want to settle. I potentially want to live in different countries. I don't really want a base at this stage of my life or perhaps ever.
I’ve never enjoyed a chit chat GRWM more! LOVED this video 💕
I'm crying at the wings date. like sir please. I spent $200 on this perfume. no I can't come over to chilll
Omg thank u for uploading on this my Pampering Saturday 😍… babies are taking a nap and mommy is enjoying Ashley’s video 😮💨
Loved the advice and loved the video babe! 🤍
I’m 21 ☺️ and I’ve learned not to keep people around that make you feel guilty for setting boundaries for most of my life It’s been really hard for me to speak up for myself and set these boundaries out of fear of losing people but now I’m seeing I don’t want that kind of energy around me anyway the right people will respect them period. I’m also learning to honor my sensitivity and realizing I’m not too sensitive some people (even family) are just comfortable with disrespecting you and I’ll no longer tolerate that
Thank you for sharing your tips, I learned so much and hopefully I can start applying these tips now so that I'm somewhat prepared when I do enter my 20s.
"Knowing When to Walk Away, knowing when to run"😋
This was so informative especially the bathroom things you learned and they explain some things lol. I def agree with taking pictures I have next to none from undergrad and regret it so bad now that I think back at those times they were so fun but I have no physical memories to hold onto,
Smiling at something you said. I'm 31. Dated a guy for most my 20s, asked What future do you see for us? I asked twice at different intervals and never got an answer. I even told another guy about it years later and his response was: He didn't even tell a lie? Just goes to show right. In a much happier place now, thank God.
This video was so Relatable , thank you because I’m in my mid 20’s and I’ve been stressing myself out about a lot of these thing
I'm so much older than you but I enjoy Girl Chats!👍🏾
It is NEVER TOO LATE… I’ve gone back and completed a few things I could have done in my 20s but didn’t because at the time I felt it was too late. Yes listen to your Elders we have life wisdom…
I am 21 and I am so thankful for this.. keep them coming ladies !!! ❤️❤️❤️
YOU ARE PREACHING IN THIS VIDEO!!!!
Sis said even if you’re watching on a calculator lol…love it 😂
I rarely ever watch a YT video these days without skipping through it--but this was such an easy watch. You practically said everything that has crossed my mind within this past year. And, the "don't date a medium ugly man in a bad financial situation" felt like a personal attack lmao. Men of all types (unfortunately) are attracted to classy attractive women who carry themselves well and live elevated lifestyles but many men cannot maintain them; and despite social media rhetoric, wanting someone to come into your (already full) life and add to/enhance it does not make you a "bird" or "golddigger"--it makes you smart (and less miserable down the road...trust me).
This was sooo good and relatable! I had to come back and watch on my phone just to hit that “like” button! ❤️
I wish I knew how to build credit , it’s okay to ask for help & NEVER EVER COMPARE YOURSELF !
I was thinking about doing a video on my post grad depression aswel. You seriously voiced it soooo well! I’m going THROUGGHH it right now 😂😂
I’m so happy I found your channel! I love your content so far. You’re a couple years older than I am, and already feel like you’re the older sister I always needed lol.
Ashley, this was the one! I love this content and I’m grabbing me a pair of glasses 💗
“Find your signature”❤️I love that, thank you! Ashley
This hit so close to home my goodness, needed this 🙂
I love your chit chat videos. I do my makeup with you during your videos!!!
As a 31year young black American woman: Yes, yes, YEEESSSS to ALL the above!! Give the growls some hope out here! Definitely inspires me to chime in! Great video as always, Ashley!💕
EVERYTHING YOU SHARED IS GOLD ❤️
Just turned 22 and it feels like you made this video specifically for me.. I’m so grateful for this 🙏🏽
YOU’RE AN AMAZING PERSON, LOVE YOU ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you!!!!
lmaoooo i'm afraid you're spilling !!! thank you for this video 1st of all... this is def needed given the climate. you pulled everything out of my head that for a long time i thought it was just me going through it... tysm 💚 1 lesson i learned (applied) in my 20s: writing things down; 1a. get a planner, 1b. a dry erase board/calendar - to get everything out of your head and into practice/practical action(s)
this was amazing😭 as a 21 yearold girl in college this was spot on love you for this💗
Listen this video is for EVERYONE!! Such a great video!!!
Love. Love. Love this video I literally want to write a book about the lessons I have learned in my 20’s and how ghetto they are. 😅😂🥴
Also a lesson I have learned it’s okay to have different friends for different things you don’t always have to mix your friend groups!
Hey girl hey! We missed you here in RUclips land and you came back strong. This whole video was RNS, especially the dating part. This is so true about men who approach a woman that’s well groomed and then don’t want to take her on a real date. Women think good men don’t exist but it’s billions of people in the world, what one won’t another one will. Also women stop letting these fools tell you he likes a natural girl and he doesn’t want you wearing hair, nails and makeup. Do wtf you want don’t let him make up basic because every girl that doesn’t wear it doesn’t make them automatically pretty and the ones that do aren’t automatically ugly just always feel like you’re best self, you deserve it. You have to live with yourself other ppl don’t!
This video came at the RIGHT time. So many gems were dropped in this video. I'm turning 25 in less than 7 months and I've been feeling stuck. So I'm going to use the time from now until my 25th to really position myself into a good life - no more going with the flow in any aspect! 😭🥰
Sooo many gems. Post graduation depression is relatable to me. Thank you
please ashley dedicated soft glam makeup tutorial with a brush application breakdown if you can. 💕 learned a lot from this video, i loved this concept. 💗
Yes Ashley, l definitely love these kind of videos.
"You don't wanna date the men who constantly circle the block" - EXACTLY
Whewwwwwww, this video is resonating on so many levels! Definitely inspired me to make my own video like this, I loved it!
A man that is CONSISTENT with all those things! Can’t take men who do those things as bait then switch.