Part 2 of this mess has finally arrived and I'm officially done with this lady, wow. What topics do you want me to cover next? OMG! Get your Petty University apparel here! : bit.ly/PettyUniversity Check out HelloFresh and get 16 free meals with HelloFresh across 7 boxes AND 3 free gifts, use code SWOOP16 at bit.ly/3EN6s52 !
I would really love to see a deep dive on Brendan Fraser! I didn't know he was assaulted by a Hollywood executive and subsequently black balled for speaking out.
Sorry finally just jumped out of the video for a hot second and ordered my violet petty is my love language ... You know what we need up in there? We need some stickers in the merchshop!!!
As a man, I'd like to thank you for saying about male victims. I have been sexually assaulted twice; one by a woman and the other by multiple men simalteanously. Sometimes I feel very alone. I'm glad that at least one person believes me
That never should have happened to you. I am so sorry. Sexual assault against anyone should be taken seriously. It was very brave of you to share these things that you lived through! Stay strong. There are plenty of survivors who will believe you, including myself. Again, I'm sorry you had to experience such horrible things
the most horrifying thing is that, IMO, she really thinks she's in the right - it seems that no matter how many times she's told that what she did was wrong, she is still adamant in her belief that she's innocent as a 1 hour old baby - she seemingly cannot accept that he (or anybody, I bet) didn't want her (creepy) sexual attention. !!! So spoiled, so entitled, so insufferable, so awful, really. And a real danger for whomever she'll obsess over next.
That's what happens when you surround yourself with yes men. Yes men who directly benefit from you having money. People think that's just people getting a paycheck, but it's not. It's friends, family, basically anyone. Unless she goes out of her own way to ground herself and seek objective opinions, then she'll never not be delusional. That goes for all influencers, celebrities, and anyone with money. It's why they are all so weird and clueless.
@@TheSecondOne123 I misread this so bad, i thought you said "That's what happens when you surround yourself with men" and got so confused. Anyways i agree, i think some people are supporting her because she's a woman like amber heards situation so she believes she's 100% right
@@TheSecondOne123 it's true, most upper class people are extremely deluded. Both about what's going on around their close ones and about what's going on on the other side of the world. They have the power to keep being always right without any serious punishment.
The cuts are probably there because he was crying or struggling mentally. This kind of stuff can just fucking wreck a person mentally and emotionally. People need to be more patient and understanding about this kind of stuff...
@@ashleypetrini4627 Right people don't know how this kind of stuff effects you. I've been groped, stalked and harassed 3 separate times in my life and that shit still sticks with me...
@@ladyvictoria820 I'm so sorry that you've been through all of that. i was S.A.ed as a child by my bio dad, and even though it's been years, it still affects me. I wish I could just forget about the abuse, but I can't.
@@ashleypetrini4627 literally exactly this, dissociating is a symptom of PTSD and I think it's completely believable he would have dissociated at least once or twice during the retelling of what happened.
Disclaimer: I'm a woman. Woman aren't getting more "abusive", we're just hearing about it more because the men are finally standing up for themselves and that's a wonderful thing. There are some nasty nasty people out there and it has nothing to do with gender. I Hope everyone can learn from this situation how men are treated differently to women and how they face different criticisms when they come out about abuse. Sienna is particularly dangerous because she can seriously see no wrong in what she did. Good job to the men around Jack for realising what she was doing, instead of saying stupid and harmful things like "uhhh she's hot so he should like it" nah.
Thank you for this, as the daughter of an abusive mother. There have always been abusive women in households and intimate relationships, but it was ignored for the trope of women as nurturers. The conversation of women as primary abusers needs to be discussed and I’m glad it’s happening.
I'm so happy stuff like this is talked about more. I had a male friend that was physically abused by his wife. He never got help and never got away from her. I have a 6 year old son and sometimes I look at him, think of that friend, and just worry so much about him being in that kind of situation one day and those around him not believing him. So I'm glad this stuff is being more openly talked about. I can hope it is discussed to the point that by the time my son is old enough to really deal with this kind of stuff that the stigma is way less prevalent.
exactly, victims are beginning to speak up and people are also finally starting to listen. I mean I remember a few instance of men talking about their experiences with SA on the internet some years back and people would dismiss them or call them weak. Or they would think that women aren’t capable of being abusers. Then the victims claims would be ignored and forgotten. So it made unfortunate sense that male victims would be afraid to speak out. But slowly more and more people are taking them seriously.
i agree! a male relative of mine was a victim of SA by a girl his age when he was in his teens. he’s in his 50s now and rarely shows any sort of vulnerability, but he talked about it with a sadness that i know all too well. its not a matter of “men are abusers and women need to be protected from them”. that attitude just makes things so much worse. we need to start thinking “anyone can be an abuser, and everyone deserves to be protected from them”.
I’m a survivor of repeated csa, and what he said about getting used to it just hurt me so deeply. I don’t wish that feeling on anyone, and I know from experience that it’s awful. I hope everyone reading this is safe, healthy, and healing.
Please forgive me for asking this if it’s offensive. I’m truly coming from ignorance and trying to learn. - what does the “c” stand for. Also I’m so sorry for anything and everything you went through. I hope you are healing your heart and mind everyday and living your best life ❤ much love
@@Kb-gh2rk Hi there, csa is a common acronym for childhood sexual abuse. Thank you for asking! I’ve been seeing a counselor and I am getting better, thank you!
@@kagedbirdd3591 from someone who grew up with similar experiences, I just wanna send you so much love and encouragement. The getting used to it is so real, I wonder if its in part a coping mechanism. Not being believed for years made me think that it was normal or acceptable, so I just pushed on and tried to minimise it in my mind. The real emotional fall out happened for me after many years later, when a family member acknowledged it and apologised for invalidating me. It was like I was finally given permission to say yeah, that did happen to me and it wasn't okay, and that started the full spiral. It's crazy how we can convince ourselves that something is 'normal' or at least our version of normal.
@@kagedbirdd3591 thank you so much for answering. I’m so happy you are seeking help and I wish you nothing but health and happiness. I hope you are rising with strength 🤍
@@RealElongatedMuskrat Thank you for the love, and I have to say, I totally relate. I first told my parents about what happened in the early spring of this year after speaking with my counselor. I felt like I went back years of “progress” before realizing that my progress was just built on not remembering what happened. I’m still getting used to having these memories again and I’m still realizing that it wasn’t my fault. It’s why I watch Swoop docs, she makes me feel like it wasn’t my fault, which I need. Again, thanks for the support, and I wish you a very steady and healthy recovery. It’s nice to know we’re not the only ones.
"Why didn't you say anything" or anything similar to this really upsets me. My family knew about my SA by a family member and I was never encouraged to seek justice. NEVER. Now that I'm ready to fight for myself, it's way passed the statute of limitations. I literally can't do anything anymore and hearing "why didn't you...blah blah blah". Is the worst things to hear to date. I had no support. And most people don't.
Thank you for making that point clear. I was assaulted as a child and I was very very lucky to have a supportive family and was able to be granted justice later on. I am truly sorry you didn’t have that chance… the fact that you fought anyway and pushed through this trauma is very inspiring. I send you all my support and strength, I sincerely hope you are doing well.
Omg this! So many people tell me that my trauma isn't valid because my abuser (physical abuse, not SA) never went to trial over it. Even after my mum managed to get a restraining order against him, that was not considered "enough." I hope you get the justice you deserve and the strength to carry on. This community has your back ❤
Victim blaming makes my blood boil, especially the “you should have done this” or “you didn’t do that” thing. It’s ridiculous and not the victims fault the fact we even have statute’s on any type of SA in the US is disgusting to me, SA is never ever okay and it shouldn’t matter if the victim waits 20 years or 2 days, the timeframe shouldn’t have any impact on the severity of that type of crime. And I’m so sorry that time ran out for you, that should not be a thing, no Abuser should get off Scott free because time happened to be on their side. Unfortunately some abusers pick young victims hoping by the time they understand what happened to them it’s already too late to seek Justice.
I used to coach swimming and I had to explain consent to kids under 10. I had 2 neurodivergent boys on my team who would sometimes get a little over excited and hug and kiss their female teammates when the girls didn’t want it. I didn’t get mad, I just sat the whole team down and said that people don’t always want to be touched, doesn’t matter if it’s something considered nice like hugs and high fives or not nice like hitting or kicking. Ask people before you get into their space and make sure you apologize if you get into their space by accident. I also lead by example and always made sure to ask my swimmers if they were cool with me giving them a high five or a hug.
You sound like such an awesome role model for kids that may not have the best at home. Keep up the good work! We need more people like you to reinforce boundaries and consent from an early age.
It was a great way to explain it to everyone there. No judgement on the kids doing it, but gently explaining boundaries. I wish more folk would have such patience and clear boundaries for everyone.
Thank you for being understanding to neurodivergents, so many people are not and just call them out and shame them when they don't even understand sometimes, so they're just being shamed for being happy!
It took me years to process my sa and finally report my abuser. Because she was female, I was treated as if I “misinterpreted” the situation and told there was no way to prove I wasn’t just “curious”. I was SEVEN when the sa happened. The case was dismissed and the entire process was excruciatingly invalidating. Thank you for this video and repeating the words “it is not your fault”, it was exactly what I needed to hear
I had a female abuser when I was 11/12 and for years I excused it as curiosity because at the time I was discovering my sexuality. It wasn't until my therapist said that it was SA that I finally realized I struggled with relationships with women. Its horrible how same sex/female abusers aren't taken as real. I hope you've found some peace/healing 🖤
I was abused, kidnapped, sa'd, and r'd in 2014. I had multiple people in my college treat me like sienna did jack. People who had no stake in my life or trauma but these crimes are so taboo that the victim is treated as disgusting and gross as the perpetrator because we bring light to what happened to us. Yes it happens, no amount of hiding from it will change that it exists in our society. I feel so bad for Jack and how MANY times he's had to talk out his seperate traumas to 'prove' he didn't want it. I'm so glad he did have family and friend support before/when this all came out. They believed him and tried how they could to protect him. Jack, as a fellow survivor, I see you, I hear you, and I believe you. I hope you nothing but peace and happiness
love, I am truly sorry that happened to you, and you aren’t alone. I know that might sound like empty consolation, but it’s true. I hope you are healing♥️
I'm so glad you're not letting this story go away. I feel so bad for what Jack had to go through, but I am glad people are seeing that women CAN be sexual abusers, and men can be victims. You go swoop 💃 we love your face!
I’ve never understood why society is so dead-set on saying women can’t be abusive to men. Like…we’ve long acknowledged that women can be and often are extremely abusive to their children. Clearly women have the capacity to be abusive. We aren’t in Lombroso’s time anymore. Women committing crimes or being abusive isn’t an atavistic trait. It’s unfortunately just a pretty damn normal thing😔
@@aliioana8586it’s because of patriarchal standards in our society. Men are seen as tough and wanting sex all the time and women are viewed as weak and vulnerable. I’m so glad that we are slowly but surely breaking away from this extremely limited view of how people are because it’s dangerous for men, women, and everyone entirely.
Its deeply upsetting to me when some women think that just because they are a woman that they can get away with these very abusive behaviors and walk away perfectly unscathed and often cheered for it cause the actions they committed aren't seen as hurtful as when a man commits them. We can't get better and do better until we recognize that anyone of any gender is capable of committing despicable acts.
you cant get better in your time, its a metaphysical thing but your so deep into your brainwashing that its just a wash cycle, the new norm for women starts in 2024 when the millenial's will all be post wall aka 30-40 and with no free perch for women and with the term ''left over women'' going global. the new norm is women are in a hideous middle ground, more educated then their moms , of whom their own mom told them ''they will come into their own at the wall aka 28 and men will work harder for them'' and its not true its ust a single mother tale to protect their kids from making mistakes outta ego to soon in life like the mom did now we have gen z seeing this, they have to work , they have to school but they know theirs nothing waiting for them at 30 and they now have to humble up, i mean every man wheter rich or poor wants a girl from 18-25 anyways so they now have the run of the place from men their own age to 45, young an virile guys to older rich guys who at 40 are looking 30. no loner can older sisters and moms groom their dauhters with 90s phantasies about indy women and how men will try more, men have it easier today as now women must go dutch. men have taken the pill and now women around 2024 will be taking the pink pill, the new norm for post wall women= no perch. this is progress.
its not just the fact that they think theyre too woman to be held accountabel it's the fact that they think every man WANTS it even if they say they dont. its the same rhetic male abusers use against their female vicitms by blalming what they wear and how they carry themsevles, they just dont see men as worthy enough to be humans fleshed out outsode of their sexual desires
@@zombiepanda5768 if im gonna be real with you regardless of the vicitms sex or sexuality, the abuser wouldnt be held accountable, they never are so to use the "if the roles were reversed" rhetoric does nothing but show "women are more important " when thats not the case,victims of sexual abuse will never be prioritized even IF public opinion says "abuser bad" it doesnt meann theyre held accountable
@@PettyUniversity As someone that struggles with chronic pain and health issues myself I appreciate how much harder you have to work because of it! You really are a bright spot in my day. Even when you're talking about more serious topics. I appreciate you! ❤
I know that you're a lady, but I have to say: Bruh... I get bored so quickly. I'm thankful for someone informative and well thought out as her. Especially, when dealing with the monotony of crap on this platform.
This is a horrible situation but I’m very proud of every young man who saw their friend being abused and did something about it, took her off him, confronted her in the moment, and stood by him publicly. I’m very proud of young people today.
Glad to know they actually did stop her because all the clips I’ve seen the just film it and the one actually gets up off the couch and leaves while she’s doing it ( the guy actually said he was the one taking care of him because he was obliterated)
Yep ppl today are More progressive. ‘Least he even _had_ backup &, y’know ppl who actually believed him. But oh wait that never changed for the most vulnerable ppl. Ones without guy-strength too..Otherwise it probably wouldve ended like it does with women everywhere..since that basically never changes no matter the time period. Wouldve been the same schtick as a college girl getting assaulted & his little frat boy friends all defending him
My boyfriend & I have been together nearly 18 years (showing my age!) & we still talk about consent with each other. It’s been an important part of us building & maintaining ongoing trust & respect in our life
The way she victim blames Jack is disgusting. My manipulative ex boyfriend used the "I was always by your side when you needed help" argument to prevent me from breaking up with him and eventually I learnt how fucked up it was. I'm glad Jack decided to speak up, I hope he can heal in due time and feel supported and believed by many. Men can be victims too
I was forced to report my R word, a college friend reported it in my stead without telling me. I didn't pick up any police calls cuz I was embarrassed and so scared that if I pursued action and wasn't believed, lost the case, or had any other outcome other than the guy going to prison, the guy would haunt me for the rest of my life. The guy was in one of my college classes, at the time I would rather ignore him and deal with the panic attacks of him coming anywhere close to me than consider the action doing nothing and everything getting worse. My mom questioned whether I was actually assaulted because I didn't take any action. I was doubted by another survivor because I didn't take action.
im sorry to hear that. you deserve so much better and you're so brave for going through all this and staying strong. sending you only love and positivity
@@SahiraASMR Thank you. This is the first time I’ve managed to get down the story and feelings in a way I actually understood. It’s been a long road to recovery, but I’m doing alright. ❤️
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. That's so painful and I completely understand why you wouldn't want to report. I've been through something similar but didn't report because I had been roofied and SAd in Barcelona while traveling through Europe and reporting it seemed completely useless. My memory of it was basically just quick flashes of things happening; I couldn't remember the area, what he looked like, what specifically happened, how I got home... So, especially bc I was in in a country where I didn't speak the language, it seemed like going to the police would just make things worse. And not being believed. Yeah. Having people who supposedly care about you deny what you've been through is a punch to the gut. I told my boyfriend about the SA when I got back from my trip. Guess what he said? "How do I know you didn't just cheat on me when you were drunk and made this story up so I wouldn't get mad?" Like..if I had cheated and didn't want him to know, I wouldn't have said anything so why would I make that up? And why would YOU lie about your own trauma? I hope your mom is more supportive now because that must have been so upsetting.
It's not always easy to take action it's scary and exactly like most people here are saying a lot can happen and there are so many uncertain variables that could come into play. People really have to consider the situations as well as the person before just saying "well you didn't do/ say anything so you MUST be lying." That's bullshit, you don't know that fear until you are in it yourself.
@@k3upikachu Thank you for sharing your story with me. I hate that this world we live in has become so blind to this issue. I am so sorry for what you went through. I hope you are doing okay and know that you are strong. You will be okay. ❤️
It is insane that anyone still buys into not reporting being equivalent to lying. I also never reported the man who groomed and abused me. Recently my therapist asked if I would consider texting him to confront him after 10 years and a few hundred miles of separation. The mere idea sent me into a freeze response. A text. The justice system is just so much crueler. Can confirm firsthand.
@@aliioana8586 honestly, it's comes off as a transparent attempt to just rugsweep abuse like normal. Didn't report it? You must be lying. Reported it? You're only doing it for attention. Spoke up about it immediately? See previous answer. Didn't speak up until much later? Why now?!? You're a woman and a man did it to you? You must have given him the wrong idea. You're a man and a woman did this to you? You must have wanted it... you notice there's ALWAYS some way to discredit the victim? It's because as a society, we don't want to actually do anything about abuse, because that may actually require us to hold others accountable and that's so hard to do when it's your buddy or your coworker or your brother or your sister being accused. It's easier to think of abusers as the dude with the creepy windowless van than to actually admit that people we know might well be abusers. Makes reality hit harder.
Like so many others I was SA’d from the age of 11-18. I probably would never have come forward if my sister hadn’t walked in and seen an assault taking place. Even with her confirmation, most people didn’t believe me. The man that assaulted me freely admitted to r*ping me for years and I was the one thrown out of home and completely isolated. Over the years I have been asked questions like “surely there must have been times you enjoyed it?” and “I just don’t think it could go on for that long without you actually wanting it to happen”. These types of questions destroyed me. I applaud Jack for coming forward. This is an incredibly difficult situation to deal with in private, let alone being a young man having it play out publicly. Thanks for once again making important videos like this Swoop. I hear myself when you speak on these issues and it’s reassuring to know there’s a creator that genuinely understands and is sensitive to this topic.
Thank you for sharing your story it resonated so much with mine. I’m so sorry you were so horribly gaslit. I hope you are in a better place with supportive, loving people. ❤
The ending “not your fault” rant just hit me so hard and made me cry…. I was SA’d by a stranger while blacked out drunk, came to in the middle of it, pushed him off and away from me and never figured out who it was. I don’t talk about it and not many people know. It really fucks with my mind still even though it was 6 years ago. I’ve often blamed myself for getting that drunk in the first place. Thank you for this.
You have every right to get as drunk as you want, pass out, and be put safely to bed, wrapped with a blanket, with a full glass of water beside your bed. Never let anyone tell you differently.
Almost exactly the same thing happened to me, but I remembered my abuser and told the police..... it was the courts that told me that it wasn't a crime and the officer who was on my case, I could tell it bothered him. He seemed really upset that the courts never did anything. IF it happens again, I don't think I will tell anyone.. it's not like we're believed anyway.
I know 10 dollars isn't much but I need to give something. I want you to know that it was the last five minutes of this video that made me want to contribute. Your message and passion is SO incredibly powerful and I can feel it in my heart when you are telling us how abuse is NEVER the fault of the victim. I know you've said the same in multiple other videos but you come through as so genuine and authentic every time you say it. Thank you for caring enough to repeat this message over and over and over. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! Doing this again since I don't think it went through the first time and this is important.
i hope she sees this! she has a lot of platforms and seems to have health issues. i have some too, and fibromyalgia like her, so she could struggle like i and some others do with fatigue and not have as much time to check comments.
@@samanthaM7119 yeah it’s literally helped me make it through the pandemic 😅 ty Swoop 🤗 💕 -cue the theme song 🎶 Swoop Swoop Swoop Swoop Swoop🎶 AGHHLLL😛💙 😂
My beautiful gf was Graped by an asshole she considered a friend or a Brother, she went to the cops and they did NOTHING and the label she worked for chose to keep him and let her go and I've never been more enraged, not even when I was SA'd but to see the look of pain and defeat on her face broke my heart, especially since he still lives in the same neighborhood as her..if I was an evil person I'd cut his break lines but I wouldn't wanna endanger innocent bystanders...
I've only reported one R after I found out there was 3 other people who came forward saying he also R'd them, it was close to a decade after it happened. I had 3 different meetings with the cops, the first one they came to my work for some reason (I worked for the State at the time I reported it) and interviewed me in the same conference room I interviewed for my job, and interviewed others, it was super hard for me to even get the words out. I ended up having a pretty bad anxiety attack after they left, and my boss sent me home for the rest of the day. I've been through some shit, and that was one of the hardest things I've done, hands down. I have also had numerous other traumatic things happen to me, and to be honest almost all of them went unreported. Just because someone didn't report something, does NOT mean that it didn't happen, or that person is any less of a victim/survivor. Going through the court process as a victim is traumatizing in itself, and most of the time there's not enough evidence so either they get a plea deal, or worse the case gets dropped all together. Saying some BS like "if I assaulted you, why didn't you report it" just goes to show that the person is incredibly ignorant when it comes to SA/R/DV, but sadly other ignorant people believe it. It's messed up.
Well hello fellow Olmsted. Not often I see one without the ‘a!’ And yes, very much agreed. I’ve only reported one of mine. It was too traumatizing to ever go through that again. I don’t blame anyone for not reporting. Massive kudos for those who decide to report, but I completely empathize with people who don’t want to risk the overwhelming negative consequences that come from making it public and fighting it in court. Everyone has a different healing journey and no one should be judged for waiting until they’re ready to come forward or for deciding not to. Much love and hugs to you, I hope you are in a happy, healthy place. ❤️
I wish I had the proper words to tell you how sorry and truly angry I am for what you went through. I hope you are able to find peace, stability and safety in your life now. I don’t know what the greater power is but I at least believe one exists and people who hurt others will meet their consequences one way or another even if it’s looking in the mirror and dealing with their true self. Sending you so much love and hope for a brighter tomorrow ❤
I started repeating out loud “It is not my fault”, like you suggested, and it _immediately_ brought tears to my eyes. I’m a big victim advocate, but it can still be hugely difficult to really believe those words on a personal level.
AS A MOTHER OF BOYS, this sickens me. A 17 year old boy I know is considered a “good boy” And has been put in positions like this. He gave a girl a ride and she groped him while he was driving, even going as far as trying to undo his pants WHILE HES ASKING HER TO STOP. She was stranded he gave her a ride and she put him in this position. And HE carried the shame after.
I never don't need to hear swoop tell me that she "believes me, loves me, and that I deserve to feel safe." it's been years of processing, I'm in a pretty good place with everything that happened that me, but man it *always* feels good to hear that
Seriously, every time she says that I tear up. It affects me so much in the best way. And I’m also someone who has spent many years processing and working with my trauma, so I can only imagine how someone actively going through something would feel hearing this encouragement. That makes me feel good
@@Patchouliprince I'm crying. that's what's happening. I'm very young(a teen) and I got out of the very abusive household I was being raised in, I will be eternally gratefully that one of my bio parents(my dad) isn't horrible and was willing to fight for custody(of me and my brother). I'm wading through years of shit trying to not let it drown me, while not fully believing myself. I found this channel and it took me a while to try watching one of her vidoes relating to SA, but I enjoyed the way that she talk about other things and gave it a try. every time she says something like that and I have the energy mentally to participate(say it along with her) I start crying, spending minutes just staring at the screen, listening, and dissociating. I find myself overwhelmed and sometimes on the verge of a panic attack, but after working myself down I feel this deep sense of relief that has made me watch these docs over and over when I'm deep in it. I am in a much better house now and have a dad and older brother(who was in the same house, so he gets it) supporting me. I see a therapist and going to see doctors. wanted to add that. I not doing good, but maybe someday... thats weird to even write. this is a long response to a response. I'm gonna comment this and hope that that doesn't make I to real and I start spiraling again because i might be lying because i don't remember everything vividly... wish me luck? and hope you have a nice day/night:)
I would love a "It's not drama, it's dangerous" shirt. I have gotten "Well I don't know about that" comments so many times about so many topics that are actually dangerous but people have pushed off to be "drama", "scandals", or just flat out dismissive. It's not drama, it's dangerous such a great statement to continue to bring awareness. 💜💜
Can you PLEASE do a video on Brendan Fraser?? I had no idea he went thru all that he did being SA'd by a Hollywood executive and being black.balled. a doc on that would be much appreciated
Swoop… I didn’t know I needed to hear you say that it isn’t my fault. It’s not our fault. I didn’t expect to get emotional, but I haven’t really processed that it wasn’t my fault. Thank you a million times ❤️❤️❤️
honestly, hearing the description of "enthusiastic consent" is like a perfect description on why I had people pick me up from my last like 3 dates? If someone's just assuming and not asking, I'm *running*
Jack is such a soldier man I don't even know what to say. The strength in that man is astonishing. This man's statement, and his courage in this situation, will be essential for the mental health and healing of so many thousands of men. Jack is the type of "influencer" that I am beyond proud to see influencing the children of today. Here's to Jack, and all the men that resonated with his message. We hear you, we believe you, we love you, and we are so fucking proud of you.
Its the invalidating victims for me that makes me LIVID. Her reaction to this continues to make me wanna hurl. Child needs a HARSH and UNFORGIVING reality check. Wish Granted, girl. Men are not immune to SA, ya'll. I hate this stigma to my core.
The way victims of SA and R are treated is disgusting. It is one of the most traumatizing experiences you can have. My firsthand experience with the system only made me lose more faith. One instance I reported, I was friends with him, I had been letting him stay at my place for a few days (under platonic conditions), and he drugged me. The prosecutor wanted to move forward with the case, but the detective shamed me so much that I just dropped it. My second experience the guy was actually convicted. All that experience showed me is that if I ever get r'd again, I better hope I'm conscious and alert, he's a complete stranger, and I have injuries from physically resisting. The vast majority of cases are not a stranger using force. My second experience shouldn't have been more "believable" because of those details. Also shoutout to RAINN. I called their hotline after that second experience because my husband was deployed and I was losing it. They helped me a lot ❤️
Crying right now; your ending monologue about how it is not our fault as victims no matter WHAT the situation.....thank you for that. I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking “I really needed to hear that”. Thank you 💔
I really appreciate the end where you listed out different situations and said “it’s not your fault” to each one. Even though I can logically tell myself it’s not my fault, it still doesn’t feel real to me. So it is really nice to hear someone say it so clearly and specifically; it makes me feel more understood and safe
I cry every time you talk straight to the survivors of SA. I know there are many of us watching, and it both comforts and terrifies me that so many share in our pain. Hearing those words spoken so genuinely always makes me feel a little less alone.
I got an upsetting call the other day... The police will not charge my abuser for SA even though I gave them photos of the bruises he left down there (I couldn't sit properly for weeks). I was told it was "not enough evidence". I don't know what to do. They said it's better if I do nothing. I've been told this from a previous assault too. I'm angry. I'm proud of Jack for coming forward. Men, don't be afraid to speak out. We're all here for you 💖
Young children have the ability to comprehend consent so “being young” has nothing to do with what has happened but with who she is at the core Love you and love your docs Swoop! Appreciate you bringing light to these situations. Not often do men feel safe or able to speak up about abuse
I appreciated the apology to Rebecca's. It was a really funny line but kept catching me off guard because my name is Rebeccah. I kept responding back to you, "I know! I'm sorry! It wasn't me!!" 🤣
This hits close to home, as someone who has been SA from a female friend. I will never see justice for it since it happened so long ago. She moved away and has recently moved back to the same area.
It may be a good idea to get into therapy for this. Even if you don't want to ever confront her, if there's a chance you may come face to face, you should have as much protection as possible.
While not sexually abused ever. It’s still a nice reminder to hear as a girl did straight up strangle me senior year of high school and has left me with ptsd. Knowing it’s not my fault means the world to me especially considering the girls I considered friends at the time always told it that yes indeed it was all my fault. Thanks for the constant reminders. It’s part of the reason I adore you and your channel so much.
I want to know... how was someone putting their hands on you... to strangle you... your fault? I don't know you and I don't know the girl who did that to you... but I would think that it doesn't matter what you did, no one should put their hands on you like that EVER.
The part at 23:40 where he talked about trying to gently force her off of him "took a couple of tries because I didn't want to be too rough" really hurts my heart. I worked with kids over the summer and a few times would be playing a game that stopped being safe because I was so much stronger than them. I knew that if I didn't stay 100% in control of how much force I was using, I could seriously hurt my kids, so I'd change the game or change my role so that everyone stayed safe, which sometimes made me "less fun". I'm transgender(ftm) and am a lot stronger than I was before my hormonal transition, so I have to be even more cautious. The thing about being the physically stronger person in any scenario is that it places the responsibility on you to make sure no one is injured. In my case, it WAS my responsibility as the adult in charge, but I can imagine feeling locked in and defenseless if someone "weaker" than me was assailing me. She weaponized her physicality in order to come out the victim in all this, and it didn't work, but the attempt was disgusting.
My daughter is almost 3 and the rest of the kids in her daycare group is 2-3 ... and they get it. If one wants a hug, and the other says no, they respect it lol Little kids are finicky and their moods flip flop but when my kid showed she didn’t want a hug bye from a friend she adores, the girl stopped and said “aw okay” There is no excuses by your super sweet 18!! No Sienna!! Sienna no!!!
Even like "spontaneous" stuff can be consented to! Having a conversation like "babe I would love it if you woke me up with ✨fun time✨ one day"... Or from the other side: "babe how would you feel if I did ✨a thing ✨ sometime?" Setting boundaries and safe words is also super important and it doesn't take away from the "magic"! Everything can be talked about and negotiated!
Was listening to this in the background as I did stuff around my apartment. Got to the end “it’s not your fault” being repeated over and over again I got chills I immediately stopped what I was doing to burst into tears that have been held onto for far to long. For that ending alone thank you for making this documentary ❤️
THANK YOU FOR BRINGING THIS BACK UP! I don't understand how she can get away with this and move forward with a clear conscience unless she genuinely thinks she's in the right here. it's pretty insane, but so blessed to have u here for this content ❤
You are putting in WORK. I see you girl. You are so thorough and on point. You amplify the voices of survivors and I appreciate it so much. Thank you for no being afraid to speak frankly and call out the facts and the truth as they are (allegedly). I can’t give you enough praise for these docs and all the tons of work and care you put in. More people need to hear your voice and your message.
Military spouse here, and in twenty years I lost track of how many guys I cleaned up after they'd been worked over by their wives. But I testified in two divorces, both times for men who'd been abused. "Plain old-fashioned traumatized" unfortunately really nails it. I've got PTSD from women like Sienna; it's not just men they want, who they abuse. It's all a power trip to them and woe if you get in the way. This, Brendan Frasier's comeback, the stuff with Johnny Depp, this society DESPERATELY needs to have a lot of conversations about men, sexual assault, and domestic violence.
It also took my daughter many years to tell her truth about what happened to her. Sometimes the victim never talks because of people not believing them and our justice system slapping them on the wrist!
I can't explain how or why you saying "I believe you" made me tear up. Sometimes I don't believe me... but hearing you reminding me it wasn't my fault is so validating - just... Thank you. Your videos are always a treat, not just because they are amazing, but because YOU are amazing! The way you present the stories respectfully (but with a healthy amount of love filled petty) have me rewatching your docs multiple times. Probably have seen the Creepshow trilogy at least 10 times. You're a wonderful person and can't wait to continue seeing your channel grow and get the recognition it deserves PS: Waiting for next paycheque to get me some Petty University Apparel! It looks so good and I need a Swoopy Mint Hoodie yesterday lol
I appreciate you repeating “it’s not your fault” at the end. I was in a relationship from 18-31 (I am 33 now), and I lived for years believing something was wrong with me because he says he’s allowed to do this because we are in a relationship. It wasn’t until 1 night my daughter woke up crying banging on my door because she had a nightmare, and this strength I never knew existed inside of me came out, and I told him “you will NEVER touch me again!” And the next day we packed our stuff up and left him. I still struggle with a lot of guilt, and I didn’t know it but I needed to hear “it’s not your fault” thanks Swoop, you’re doing something really amazing by being an advocate for survivors ❤️
I’m sitting here finishing up work and listening/watching your vid and that last part GOT me, like bad. I burst into tears. My daughter is 15 and was groomed online when she was 7 and was talked into sending birthday suit pics to someone and I blame myself for it everyday. I also am a victim of SA and physical abuse
My family called me manipulative because I didn't speak up against my step brother who began molesting me when I was 11 years old until I was 19. I stayed with him in that "relationship" because it took me EIGHT years to realize what was happening to me.
This girl seems to refuse to see or evaluate how her actions affected her friend. Seems slimy and very very wrong. I just found you recently and I really enjoyed your docs. Working on that Petty PhD 💙
I feel for him so much, his story is so important and I find it really brave of him to make his voice heard. Sienna is just keeping the trauma and hurt going just because she doesn't understand her toxic and abusive behaviors. This one really hit hard for me. Especially when you went through the situations at the end - the "not your fault" part. I hope all survivors truly learn this and stop blaming themselves. I hope one day that I can as well.
it hurts so bad to hear jack say he doesn’t think he’ll ever be the same as he was before. i relate to that feeling so much and it’s especially hard to accept when you initially hope/think you’ll just “get over it”
Spankie had me almost in tears and had full body chills with the last bit about it not being the victim's fault. It's nice to hear it sometimes, especially when my own brain turns against me and says I could've done more. 🥺💕
Swoop this is not old news. Thank you for covering this story. As the mother of a boy child who is just a year younger than Jack I can only imagine the pain and hell he would be feeling and going through. I am so proud of Jack for standing up and telling his truth. It is hard for boys and men to speak up just like it is for girls and women. Keep shouting at the top of your lungs this is not your fault. Keep up the great work Swoop. Keep being the strong amazing young man you are Jack. To anyone else reading this, you are important and you deserve to have your voice heard.
At the end when you were going over all of the scenarios and noting how each one still makes it not your fault. The one that hit me was when you mentioned initiating contact and then changing your mind. I was sexually assaulted during the fall semester of my junior year of undergraduate. By the time I had realized what happened, it had been a good 24 hours later and I had showered and what not and any possible evidence that could’ve been left was pretty much gone. I still went through 7to 9 months of hell trying to get him held accountable through the University which he was unfortunately not found guilty. But your genuine integrity and kindness with your documentaries, especially deep ones like this, is a big reason why I am subscribed to you and continue to watch your videos. Thank you so much for being an advocate.
I have a friend who has been SA'd so many times now that she whole heartily believes it was her fault and I just wanted to thank you swoop because you give a voice to those who have been hurt this way and you tell them it's not their fault. I wish my friend could believe it (I tell her all the time) but its such an important message. Thank you
I love that you constantly talk about this and bring light to this. I dislike the idea that a victims validation is only valid when their story is going viral. If you are a victim of SA or any type of abuse, you will always be valid and there is no time frame on your story. To the people that say , “who cares this was a month ago,” I say this, just because these are social media influencers does not mean they are any less of a human compared to everyone else. We need to be okay with constantly talking about this so more people are aware of SA etc. I have never been a victim of SA, but my heart goes out to anyone that has, whether female or male, you are still a person and you still should feel valued no matter what. Sending love to every survivor. I am so proud of you for surviving and being able to get through what horrible things you went through 🥹❤️
THIS IS IMPORTANT! I am so glad you are talking about this! I have a family member that didn’t tell us for years, about his assault. I am mean years, I would say 18 years to tell us. He had even heard my own story and still didn’t tell us because of the stigma, because he was not ready. He probably would have never told us, but he found something that resonated with him. I’ll tell you Corey Taylor, yes Slipknot’s Corey Taylor, probably saved his life with his interview in 2017. I know he will never see this but I am so proud of Jack for being so brave. He is showing young boys that it is okay to speak up, to let them know that this is something that can happen, and it is okay to talk about.
So proud of Corey- he helped many. I hope he realizes that. His trauma, and the sharing of, I know helped others. I'm glad your family member was finally able to open up. It saddens me when victims are ashamed, as they have NO reason to be. The sick assholes who commit the literal crime, that's where shame should lie. Unfortunately, most don't have that setting. I hope he's still doing better...
I’ve been slowly coming to terms with the potential that I was SA’d by a previous partner over the past year or so, and hearing you repeat over and over again “it’s not your fault” nearly brought me to tears. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully unravel my emotions around that person, but the repetitive support is nice to hear no matter what.
I knew a girl who was SA'd in her sleep by a long term partner, who also took photos of her naked without her consent or knowledge (she actually found these images by accident on their shared computer), and she broke up with him immediately. She's still really traumatised by it. I can't believe that so many people are overlooking the impact of waking up to someone you trust touching you and treating you like some sort of inanimate object for them to get their kicks out of. It's invasive, invalidating, dehumanising and traumatising. It would be shocking and upsetting if anyone were to do it, but the perpetrator being someone you trust just adds a whole other layer to the heartache. I feel so awful for him.
Great doc as usual! And it’s so important that you covered consent…young adults and even us older heads need to learn how to be open and have a conversation with the ones we care about/love! If you care about someone, you’ll work on protecting each other in every way! 👏🏻♥️
The saying at the end where u are describing different situations saying “it is not ur fault” i had a visceral reaction too and started crying hard that had such a big impact on me tysm for all you do on this platform
I just wanted to thank you so much for so very many things, but specifically the emphasis you put on consent in this video. I'm a fun combination of asexual and (afab) nonbinary. I have had partners of multiple different genders with whom I've had to have hard conversations regarding consent and how not everyone approaches intimacy the same way, and those conversations change swiftly depending on who I'm seeing. Women and femme folks tend to be the most outwardly accepting of my hard boundaries, but are also the fastest (in my experience) to cross "simple" boundaries, like kissing or touching in certain ways, even if I've asked them repeatedly not to. Their replies have been fairly uniform in these instances: they just think they're being cute, girls are just naturally more touchy, it's not a big deal, it's how girls show affection, etc. Luckily my past partners responded well when we had a conversation about why that line of thinking isn't okay, but I see all of this cranked to 11 with zero accountability in Sienna and it's disgusting. I feel awful for Jack, and hope he understands that he has support and that he deserves to find healing.
Your sincerity at the end when saying “it is not your fault” truly made me emotional. I’m fortunate to have not experienced SA, but I know your words are helping many. Thank you for being vulnerable & sharing your own experience, because you are truly making a difference. Big hugs to you, SWOOP💙💙💙
I learned about consent when I was 8. I loved hugging and massaging friends as a kid and thought it was a valid and acceptable expression of care. I hugged a friend and classmate, and he said to me, "have you ever considered some people don't want to be hugged?" My world shattered, and I was mortified that I had potentially been forcing hugs on people who didn't want that, but it taught me the lesson. Also, regarding consent, when my SA happened I made eye contact and nodded, but it was while I was having a mental breakdown and bawling. The guy had been verbally abusing me for a couple hours and he told me that he was "going to take you now, okay?" What do you say to that? Taking the assault and getting it over with was better than testing what he would do if I refused him. Coercion needs to be accounted for, I think. I told my story to the police a year later (after I got out of that situation) and they dismissed me from the station without even recording my having been in to make a statement.
The ending has me in tears. Thank you for reminding me that it’s not my fault. It’s so incredibly easy to put the blame on yourself… “I put myself in that situation, so it’s my fault.” That’s my own personal mantra when I get into a negative headspace. I just recently found your channel and I absolutely love your content, your smile, your humor, and your heart. Thank you, thank you, thank you ❤️❤️❤️
I had no idea who these people were, but I'm always happy to watch Swoop cover a story! Thank you for handling difficult topics and providing important information on how people can get help.
One thing RUclipsrs are always consistent about is that no matter how bad what they do makes them look, you can always count on the way that they react to it making them look even worse.
Thank you for bringing up so many important points. Not only does this explain how problematic this is for people who may not understand the issue, it also validates the feelings of every SA-survivor. Thank you❤️
I never reported the person that assaulted me. It was almost 10 years ago. I never will. The thought of having to go to court and have a lawyer try to shred my story or my credibility apart, was enough for me to just deal with what happened to me internally. The worst thing in the world, the most disgusting thought that I still have, is “at least it wasn’t worse. At least I wasn’t full on r***d.” those words have even been said to me by others when I share what happened. I didn’t ask for him to touch me that way. What happened was NOT okay. I hope one day, people are less sh!tty and stop hurting others.
Reliving a traumatic memory happens solely in sensory imagery (like remembering the feel of their hands, remembering a snapshot of the place of your assault). In fact, the entire left side of the brain responsible for logic and language shuts down completely. So for a survivor it’s nearly impossible to form a structured story with a clear narrative when reliving their trauma unless they have been forced to emotionally detach themselves completely. That’s why so many victims get gaslit into thinking their assault didn’t happen
That’s….not how the brain works. There is no such thing as left or right brain. Reliving traumatic memories is something that pertains to the limbic system, diencephalon, and brain stem. The frontal cortex is what you’re very incorrectly labeling the “entire left side of the brain.”
Reading through the comments I see so many stories of pain and horror that you all have gone through. I wish I could tell each and everyone of you that you deserve all the love and happiness in the world. The stories I have read here have truly impacted me. You are all strong, incredible, POWERFUL SURVIVORS. I just want to wish anyone who has gone through those horrors all the peace and happiness in the world. Please never forget you are just damn magnificent. Don’t you ever let those evil people snuff out you light. SHINE BABY. To anyone who hasn’t been able to seek help for something that has happened to them. You are not alone. You have people who love you and will stand with you. You did not deserve this. This is not your fault. Please do whatever will heal you. You deserve freedom from the darkness that you’ve gone through. Sending so much freaking love to you all. ❤
i know it’s bc i’m a women that i keep trying to put myself in her shoes, but whenever I try to empathize w sienna, i come up with nothing. there is no circumstance, situation or setting where i could ever even *think* about doing the things sienna did. i’ve loved people who didn’t love me back yet still i was never tempted to force myself on them. the people who do these things, gender be damned, have something within them that we will never understand. i am a survivor (non violent forced contact, it feels so much lesser), and even before that i will ride or die for ANY survivor.
Nah he probably would still have audience and a platform. Dudes like jake paul or david dobrik went back to basically normal after their respective sa related scandals. Cancel culture sucks at actually punishing these types of people. Unless enough surfaces for the actual legal system to get involved, or the offending party actually feels bad about what they did and takes themselves of the platform, nothing ever actually comes out of "the canceling" .
@@postrachsmietnikowDoubtful. Men who get falsely accused (with no evidence mind you) get absolutely destroyed and have their lives ruined. Only women can get away with being perpetrators, as Sienna Mae is still very much successful and has a career.
I can’t thank you enough for how often and how loudly you speak for survivors. I’m only months into processing 5 years worth of SA that will never be recognized by the law in my state. It’s dehumanizing, the acts I was victim to and the stigma I live with as the survivor of Domestic SA. No victim, regardless of gender identity, martial status, relationship, age, etc should be ignore or silenced. Thank you for being our voice 🖤
was about to close my laptop and sleep as midnight is fast approaching, but nope, gonna watch the new SWOOP video. This is gonna help my fibro pain riddled body to wind down, as your voice is just so soothing
well... here I am again, watching it again, as I did fall asleep while watching it yesterday. Not that I mind. I watch all your videos multiple times as every time I discover something new and once I don't anymore it's perfect background noise.
Hey, thank you for always showing your support for survivors whenever you do a video of this nature. Sometimes I don't need to hear it, but sometimes I do. Thank you for the love you show Jack, even if he doesn't need to hear it today- he might tomorrow. You're awesome, you have all my love SWOOP.
The 2 assaults I suffered I never pursued action because it felt like I would be laughed at. I'm so glad he had the strength to say something at all and I hope Jack can move on and live a wonderful life 🖤🖤🖤
Hey, Swoop. I just want to say that I, as survivor with severe PTSD, want to thank you for telling me that it was not my fault. More ppl need to hear that. I know you probably won't see this, given how popular you are, but thank you. I was really low when I first heard you say that to the point where I was thinking of killing myself and you... you stopped me from doing that. You saved a life. Thank you.
If Sienna Mae would have just kept her mouth shut, she probably could have saved her career if she didnt make her dance apology video. She couldn't stay quiet 🤷🏿♀️ typically narcissist behavior.
I have PTSD from a past relationship and I hear and see him because of what he did to me. I wouldn't wish this pain and suffering on anyone, the fact she did this to Jack is beyond frustrating to me. Thank you to anyone who tells their story, you don't have to, but you do. Thank you for being so brave
Part 2 of this mess has finally arrived and I'm officially done with this lady, wow. What topics do you want me to cover next? OMG! Get your Petty University apparel here! : bit.ly/PettyUniversity
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Could you cover Gabbie hannas manic tik toks? I’d love to hear your take
I would really love to see a deep dive on Brendan Fraser! I didn't know he was assaulted by a Hollywood executive and subsequently black balled for speaking out.
@@danafradi8607 seconded!
@@TheRealCarolinaQueen also seconded !
Sorry finally just jumped out of the video for a hot second and ordered my violet petty is my love language ...
You know what we need up in there? We need some stickers in the merchshop!!!
As a man, I'd like to thank you for saying about male victims. I have been sexually assaulted twice; one by a woman and the other by multiple men simalteanously. Sometimes I feel very alone. I'm glad that at least one person believes me
You‘ve got two people believing you 🙋🏻♀️. I hope you can get through this. As swoop says it is not your fault.
I'm a woman, and I also believe in you too, never forget that! 💞
I believe you. 💜
I believe you ❤️🩹
That never should have happened to you. I am so sorry. Sexual assault against anyone should be taken seriously. It was very brave of you to share these things that you lived through! Stay strong. There are plenty of survivors who will believe you, including myself. Again, I'm sorry you had to experience such horrible things
the most horrifying thing is that, IMO, she really thinks she's in the right - it seems that no matter how many times she's told that what she did was wrong, she is still adamant in her belief that she's innocent as a 1 hour old baby - she seemingly cannot accept that he (or anybody, I bet) didn't want her (creepy) sexual attention. !!! So spoiled, so entitled, so insufferable, so awful, really. And a real danger for whomever she'll obsess over next.
That's what happens when you surround yourself with yes men. Yes men who directly benefit from you having money. People think that's just people getting a paycheck, but it's not. It's friends, family, basically anyone. Unless she goes out of her own way to ground herself and seek objective opinions, then she'll never not be delusional.
That goes for all influencers, celebrities, and anyone with money. It's why they are all so weird and clueless.
Sienna certainly has the narcissists down to a T. Once you know the prayer, its painfully obvious thats her playbook
@@TheSecondOne123 I misread this so bad, i thought you said "That's what happens when you surround yourself with men" and got so confused. Anyways i agree, i think some people are supporting her because she's a woman like amber heards situation so she believes she's 100% right
She’s on track to end up like Amber Heard.
@@TheSecondOne123 it's true, most upper class people are extremely deluded. Both about what's going on around their close ones and about what's going on on the other side of the world. They have the power to keep being always right without any serious punishment.
The cuts are probably there because he was crying or struggling mentally. This kind of stuff can just fucking wreck a person mentally and emotionally. People need to be more patient and understanding about this kind of stuff...
Or he's zoning out because his brain feels overloaded from having to relive it in a sense, so he cut those zoning out moments.
@@ashleypetrini4627 Right people don't know how this kind of stuff effects you. I've been groped, stalked and harassed 3 separate times in my life and that shit still sticks with me...
@@ladyvictoria820 I'm so sorry that you've been through all of that. i was S.A.ed as a child by my bio dad, and even though it's been years, it still affects me. I wish I could just forget about the abuse, but I can't.
@@ashleypetrini4627 As much as you want to, you can never forget this kind of stuff. It stays with you forever.
@@ashleypetrini4627 literally exactly this, dissociating is a symptom of PTSD and I think it's completely believable he would have dissociated at least once or twice during the retelling of what happened.
Disclaimer: I'm a woman.
Woman aren't getting more "abusive", we're just hearing about it more because the men are finally standing up for themselves and that's a wonderful thing. There are some nasty nasty people out there and it has nothing to do with gender. I Hope everyone can learn from this situation how men are treated differently to women and how they face different criticisms when they come out about abuse.
Sienna is particularly dangerous because she can seriously see no wrong in what she did. Good job to the men around Jack for realising what she was doing, instead of saying stupid and harmful things like "uhhh she's hot so he should like it" nah.
Thank you for this, as the daughter of an abusive mother. There have always been abusive women in households and intimate relationships, but it was ignored for the trope of women as nurturers. The conversation of women as primary abusers needs to be discussed and I’m glad it’s happening.
I'm so happy stuff like this is talked about more. I had a male friend that was physically abused by his wife. He never got help and never got away from her.
I have a 6 year old son and sometimes I look at him, think of that friend, and just worry so much about him being in that kind of situation one day and those around him not believing him. So I'm glad this stuff is being more openly talked about. I can hope it is discussed to the point that by the time my son is old enough to really deal with this kind of stuff that the stigma is way less prevalent.
exactly, victims are beginning to speak up and people are also finally starting to listen. I mean I remember a few instance of men talking about their experiences with SA on the internet some years back and people would dismiss them or call them weak. Or they would think that women aren’t capable of being abusers. Then the victims claims would be ignored and forgotten. So it made unfortunate sense that male victims would be afraid to speak out. But slowly more and more people are taking them seriously.
PERIODT.
i agree! a male relative of mine was a victim of SA by a girl his age when he was in his teens. he’s in his 50s now and rarely shows any sort of vulnerability, but he talked about it with a sadness that i know all too well. its not a matter of “men are abusers and women need to be protected from them”. that attitude just makes things so much worse. we need to start thinking “anyone can be an abuser, and everyone deserves to be protected from them”.
I’m a survivor of repeated csa, and what he said about getting used to it just hurt me so deeply. I don’t wish that feeling on anyone, and I know from experience that it’s awful. I hope everyone reading this is safe, healthy, and healing.
Please forgive me for asking this if it’s offensive. I’m truly coming from ignorance and trying to learn. - what does the “c” stand for.
Also I’m so sorry for anything and everything you went through. I hope you are healing your heart and mind everyday and living your best life ❤ much love
@@Kb-gh2rk Hi there, csa is a common acronym for childhood sexual abuse. Thank you for asking! I’ve been seeing a counselor and I am getting better, thank you!
@@kagedbirdd3591 from someone who grew up with similar experiences, I just wanna send you so much love and encouragement. The getting used to it is so real, I wonder if its in part a coping mechanism. Not being believed for years made me think that it was normal or acceptable, so I just pushed on and tried to minimise it in my mind. The real emotional fall out happened for me after many years later, when a family member acknowledged it and apologised for invalidating me. It was like I was finally given permission to say yeah, that did happen to me and it wasn't okay, and that started the full spiral. It's crazy how we can convince ourselves that something is 'normal' or at least our version of normal.
@@kagedbirdd3591 thank you so much for answering. I’m so happy you are seeking help and I wish you nothing but health and happiness. I hope you are rising with strength 🤍
@@RealElongatedMuskrat Thank you for the love, and I have to say, I totally relate. I first told my parents about what happened in the early spring of this year after speaking with my counselor. I felt like I went back years of “progress” before realizing that my progress was just built on not remembering what happened. I’m still getting used to having these memories again and I’m still realizing that it wasn’t my fault. It’s why I watch Swoop docs, she makes me feel like it wasn’t my fault, which I need. Again, thanks for the support, and I wish you a very steady and healthy recovery. It’s nice to know we’re not the only ones.
"Why didn't you say anything" or anything similar to this really upsets me. My family knew about my SA by a family member and I was never encouraged to seek justice. NEVER. Now that I'm ready to fight for myself, it's way passed the statute of limitations. I literally can't do anything anymore and hearing "why didn't you...blah blah blah". Is the worst things to hear to date. I had no support. And most people don't.
Can you seek civil? Sometimes the statute is longer for civil. I hope you can find justice some day.
@@jeishiikanzaki I'll look into it!
Thank you for making that point clear. I was assaulted as a child and I was very very lucky to have a supportive family and was able to be granted justice later on. I am truly sorry you didn’t have that chance… the fact that you fought anyway and pushed through this trauma is very inspiring. I send you all my support and strength, I sincerely hope you are doing well.
Omg this! So many people tell me that my trauma isn't valid because my abuser (physical abuse, not SA) never went to trial over it. Even after my mum managed to get a restraining order against him, that was not considered "enough."
I hope you get the justice you deserve and the strength to carry on. This community has your back ❤
Victim blaming makes my blood boil, especially the “you should have done this” or “you didn’t do that” thing. It’s ridiculous and not the victims fault the fact we even have statute’s on any type of SA in the US is disgusting to me, SA is never ever okay and it shouldn’t matter if the victim waits 20 years or 2 days, the timeframe shouldn’t have any impact on the severity of that type of crime. And I’m so sorry that time ran out for you, that should not be a thing, no Abuser should get off Scott free because time happened to be on their side. Unfortunately some abusers pick young victims hoping by the time they understand what happened to them it’s already too late to seek Justice.
I used to coach swimming and I had to explain consent to kids under 10. I had 2 neurodivergent boys on my team who would sometimes get a little over excited and hug and kiss their female teammates when the girls didn’t want it. I didn’t get mad, I just sat the whole team down and said that people don’t always want to be touched, doesn’t matter if it’s something considered nice like hugs and high fives or not nice like hitting or kicking. Ask people before you get into their space and make sure you apologize if you get into their space by accident. I also lead by example and always made sure to ask my swimmers if they were cool with me giving them a high five or a hug.
You are awesome.
You sound like such an awesome role model for kids that may not have the best at home. Keep up the good work! We need more people like you to reinforce boundaries and consent from an early age.
Aw, that’s sweet.
It was a great way to explain it to everyone there. No judgement on the kids doing it, but gently explaining boundaries. I wish more folk would have such patience and clear boundaries for everyone.
Thank you for being understanding to neurodivergents, so many people are not and just call them out and shame them when they don't even understand sometimes, so they're just being shamed for being happy!
It took me years to process my sa and finally report my abuser. Because she was female, I was treated as if I “misinterpreted” the situation and told there was no way to prove I wasn’t just “curious”. I was SEVEN when the sa happened. The case was dismissed and the entire process was excruciatingly invalidating. Thank you for this video and repeating the words “it is not your fault”, it was exactly what I needed to hear
YOU WERE 7? And they said that? Bro what’s wrong with people I’m sorry that happened to you
I had a female abuser when I was 11/12 and for years I excused it as curiosity because at the time I was discovering my sexuality. It wasn't until my therapist said that it was SA that I finally realized I struggled with relationships with women. Its horrible how same sex/female abusers aren't taken as real. I hope you've found some peace/healing 🖤
Wow…
You were a kid so
Clearly it was her fault then..
I was abused, kidnapped, sa'd, and r'd in 2014. I had multiple people in my college treat me like sienna did jack. People who had no stake in my life or trauma but these crimes are so taboo that the victim is treated as disgusting and gross as the perpetrator because we bring light to what happened to us. Yes it happens, no amount of hiding from it will change that it exists in our society. I feel so bad for Jack and how MANY times he's had to talk out his seperate traumas to 'prove' he didn't want it. I'm so glad he did have family and friend support before/when this all came out. They believed him and tried how they could to protect him. Jack, as a fellow survivor, I see you, I hear you, and I believe you. I hope you nothing but peace and happiness
love, I am truly sorry that happened to you, and you aren’t alone. I know that might sound like empty consolation, but it’s true. I hope you are healing♥️
I'm so glad you're not letting this story go away. I feel so bad for what Jack had to go through, but I am glad people are seeing that women CAN be sexual abusers, and men can be victims.
You go swoop 💃 we love your face!
I’ve never understood why society is so dead-set on saying women can’t be abusive to men. Like…we’ve long acknowledged that women can be and often are extremely abusive to their children. Clearly women have the capacity to be abusive. We aren’t in Lombroso’s time anymore. Women committing crimes or being abusive isn’t an atavistic trait. It’s unfortunately just a pretty damn normal thing😔
@@aliioana8586it’s because of patriarchal standards in our society. Men are seen as tough and wanting sex all the time and women are viewed as weak and vulnerable. I’m so glad that we are slowly but surely breaking away from this extremely limited view of how people are because it’s dangerous for men, women, and everyone entirely.
Its deeply upsetting to me when some women think that just because they are a woman that they can get away with these very abusive behaviors and walk away perfectly unscathed and often cheered for it cause the actions they committed aren't seen as hurtful as when a man commits them. We can't get better and do better until we recognize that anyone of any gender is capable of committing despicable acts.
you cant get better in your time, its a metaphysical thing but your so deep into your brainwashing that its just a wash cycle, the new norm for women starts in 2024 when the millenial's will all be post wall aka 30-40 and with no free perch for women and with the term ''left over women'' going global.
the new norm is women are in a hideous middle ground, more educated then their moms , of whom their own mom told them ''they will come into their own at the wall aka 28 and men will work harder for them'' and its not true its ust a single mother tale to protect their kids from making mistakes outta ego to soon in life like the mom did
now we have gen z seeing this, they have to work , they have to school but they know theirs nothing waiting for them at 30 and they now have to humble up, i mean every man wheter rich or poor wants a girl from 18-25 anyways so they now have the run of the place from men their own age to 45, young an virile guys to older rich guys who at 40 are looking 30. no loner can older sisters and moms groom their dauhters with 90s phantasies about indy women and how men will try more, men have it easier today as now women must go dutch.
men have taken the pill and now women around 2024 will be taking the pink pill, the new norm for post wall women= no perch. this is progress.
100% Agree
Right if the roles we're reversed his life would have been in ruined
its not just the fact that they think theyre too woman to be held accountabel it's the fact that they think every man WANTS it even if they say they dont. its the same rhetic male abusers use against their female vicitms by blalming what they wear and how they carry themsevles, they just dont see men as worthy enough to be humans fleshed out outsode of their sexual desires
@@zombiepanda5768 if im gonna be real with you regardless of the vicitms sex or sexuality, the abuser wouldnt be held accountable, they never are so to use the "if the roles were reversed" rhetoric does nothing but show "women are more important " when thats not the case,victims of sexual abuse will never be prioritized even IF public opinion says "abuser bad" it doesnt meann theyre held accountable
The way that hearing you repeat “it’s not your fault” made me want to rip my skin off tells me that’s exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you 💜
What did I do to deserve *3* Swoop docs in 2 weeks!? Seeing you on my feed always makes my day a little brighter. Keep shining Swoop! ✨
Ahhh you're so sweet! I'm moving my caboose to try and upload much more often for y'all! Thank you for being here and being early!
@@PettyUniversity As someone that struggles with chronic pain and health issues myself I appreciate how much harder you have to work because of it! You really are a bright spot in my day. Even when you're talking about more serious topics. I appreciate you! ❤
@@PettyUniversity hey Swoop, good job. :D
Right?? So good 😍
I know that you're a lady, but I have to say: Bruh... I get bored so quickly. I'm thankful for someone informative and well thought out as her. Especially, when dealing with the monotony of crap on this platform.
This is a horrible situation but I’m very proud of every young man who saw their friend being abused and did something about it, took her off him, confronted her in the moment, and stood by him publicly. I’m very proud of young people today.
Glad to know they actually did stop her because all the clips I’ve seen the just film it and the one actually gets up off the couch and leaves while she’s doing it ( the guy actually said he was the one taking care of him because he was obliterated)
Yep ppl today are
More progressive. ‘Least he even _had_ backup &, y’know ppl who actually believed him.
But oh wait that never changed for the most vulnerable ppl. Ones without guy-strength too..Otherwise it probably wouldve ended like it does with women everywhere..since that basically never changes no matter the time period.
Wouldve been the same schtick as a college girl getting assaulted & his little frat boy friends all defending him
My boyfriend & I have been together nearly 18 years (showing my age!) & we still talk about consent with each other. It’s been an important part of us building & maintaining ongoing trust & respect in our life
Wow❤. God bless u both always ❤❤
The way she victim blames Jack is disgusting. My manipulative ex boyfriend used the "I was always by your side when you needed help" argument to prevent me from breaking up with him and eventually I learnt how fucked up it was.
I'm glad Jack decided to speak up, I hope he can heal in due time and feel supported and believed by many. Men can be victims too
I was forced to report my R word, a college friend reported it in my stead without telling me. I didn't pick up any police calls cuz I was embarrassed and so scared that if I pursued action and wasn't believed, lost the case, or had any other outcome other than the guy going to prison, the guy would haunt me for the rest of my life. The guy was in one of my college classes, at the time I would rather ignore him and deal with the panic attacks of him coming anywhere close to me than consider the action doing nothing and everything getting worse. My mom questioned whether I was actually assaulted because I didn't take any action. I was doubted by another survivor because I didn't take action.
im sorry to hear that. you deserve so much better and you're so brave for going through all this and staying strong. sending you only love and positivity
@@SahiraASMR Thank you. This is the first time I’ve managed to get down the story and feelings in a way I actually understood. It’s been a long road to recovery, but I’m doing alright. ❤️
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. That's so painful and I completely understand why you wouldn't want to report.
I've been through something similar but didn't report because I had been roofied and SAd in Barcelona while traveling through Europe and reporting it seemed completely useless. My memory of it was basically just quick flashes of things happening; I couldn't remember the area, what he looked like, what specifically happened, how I got home... So, especially bc I was in in a country where I didn't speak the language, it seemed like going to the police would just make things worse.
And not being believed. Yeah. Having people who supposedly care about you deny what you've been through is a punch to the gut. I told my boyfriend about the SA when I got back from my trip. Guess what he said?
"How do I know you didn't just cheat on me when you were drunk and made this story up so I wouldn't get mad?"
Like..if I had cheated and didn't want him to know, I wouldn't have said anything so why would I make that up? And why would YOU lie about your own trauma? I hope your mom is more supportive now because that must have been so upsetting.
It's not always easy to take action it's scary and exactly like most people here are saying a lot can happen and there are so many uncertain variables that could come into play. People really have to consider the situations as well as the person before just saying "well you didn't do/ say anything so you MUST be lying." That's bullshit, you don't know that fear until you are in it yourself.
@@k3upikachu Thank you for sharing your story with me. I hate that this world we live in has become so blind to this issue. I am so sorry for what you went through. I hope you are doing okay and know that you are strong. You will be okay. ❤️
It is insane that anyone still buys into not reporting being equivalent to lying. I also never reported the man who groomed and abused me. Recently my therapist asked if I would consider texting him to confront him after 10 years and a few hundred miles of separation. The mere idea sent me into a freeze response. A text. The justice system is just so much crueler. Can confirm firsthand.
If we don’t report, we’re lying. If we DO decide to report, we’re also lying. We cannot win😔
@@aliioana8586 honestly, it's comes off as a transparent attempt to just rugsweep abuse like normal. Didn't report it? You must be lying. Reported it? You're only doing it for attention. Spoke up about it immediately? See previous answer. Didn't speak up until much later? Why now?!? You're a woman and a man did it to you? You must have given him the wrong idea. You're a man and a woman did this to you? You must have wanted it... you notice there's ALWAYS some way to discredit the victim? It's because as a society, we don't want to actually do anything about abuse, because that may actually require us to hold others accountable and that's so hard to do when it's your buddy or your coworker or your brother or your sister being accused. It's easier to think of abusers as the dude with the creepy windowless van than to actually admit that people we know might well be abusers. Makes reality hit harder.
Like so many others I was SA’d from the age of 11-18. I probably would never have come forward if my sister hadn’t walked in and seen an assault taking place. Even with her confirmation, most people didn’t believe me. The man that assaulted me freely admitted to r*ping me for years and I was the one thrown out of home and completely isolated.
Over the years I have been asked questions like “surely there must have been times you enjoyed it?” and “I just don’t think it could go on for that long without you actually wanting it to happen”. These types of questions destroyed me. I applaud Jack for coming forward. This is an incredibly difficult situation to deal with in private, let alone being a young man having it play out publicly. Thanks for once again making important videos like this Swoop. I hear myself when you speak on these issues and it’s reassuring to know there’s a creator that genuinely understands and is sensitive to this topic.
Thank you for sharing your story it resonated so much with mine. I’m so sorry you were so horribly gaslit. I hope you are in a better place with supportive, loving people. ❤
I completely feel this! I had the same response. “He’s not like that. You must have encouraged him.” Thanks for taking my side.
The ending “not your fault” rant just hit me so hard and made me cry….
I was SA’d by a stranger while blacked out drunk, came to in the middle of it, pushed him off and away from me and never figured out who it was. I don’t talk about it and not many people know. It really fucks with my mind still even though it was 6 years ago. I’ve often blamed myself for getting that drunk in the first place. Thank you for this.
You have every right to get as drunk as you want, pass out, and be put safely to bed, wrapped with a blanket, with a full glass of water beside your bed.
Never let anyone tell you differently.
Almost exactly the same thing happened to me, but I remembered my abuser and told the police..... it was the courts that told me that it wasn't a crime and the officer who was on my case, I could tell it bothered him. He seemed really upset that the courts never did anything.
IF it happens again, I don't think I will tell anyone.. it's not like we're believed anyway.
I know 10 dollars isn't much but I need to give something. I want you to know that it was the last five minutes of this video that made me want to contribute. Your message and passion is SO incredibly powerful and I can feel it in my heart when you are telling us how abuse is NEVER the fault of the victim. I know you've said the same in multiple other videos but you come through as so genuine and authentic every time you say it. Thank you for caring enough to repeat this message over and over and over. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!
Doing this again since I don't think it went through the first time and this is important.
i hope she sees this! she has a lot of platforms and seems to have health issues. i have some too, and fibromyalgia like her, so she could struggle like i and some others do with fatigue and not have as much time to check comments.
thank you for shouting out that in specific with this-- I'm broke af so couldn't do sh* but that part hit me pretty hard.
Bless your heart !
Oh so our girl’s been WORKING working. Can’t wait to watch this now, and then probably a couple more times over the next week. Petty is my ASMR.
Hahahah yessss! She be putting in the WORK overtime for y'all!
@@PettyUniversity and it’s much appreciated ♥️
@@samanthaM7119
yeah it’s literally helped me make it through the pandemic 😅
ty Swoop 🤗 💕
-cue the theme song 🎶 Swoop Swoop Swoop Swoop Swoop🎶 AGHHLLL😛💙 😂
My beautiful gf was Graped by an asshole she considered a friend or a Brother, she went to the cops and they did NOTHING and the label she worked for chose to keep him and let her go and I've never been more enraged, not even when I was SA'd but to see the look of pain and defeat on her face broke my heart, especially since he still lives in the same neighborhood as her..if I was an evil person I'd cut his break lines but I wouldn't wanna endanger innocent bystanders...
I've only reported one R after I found out there was 3 other people who came forward saying he also R'd them, it was close to a decade after it happened. I had 3 different meetings with the cops, the first one they came to my work for some reason (I worked for the State at the time I reported it) and interviewed me in the same conference room I interviewed for my job, and interviewed others, it was super hard for me to even get the words out. I ended up having a pretty bad anxiety attack after they left, and my boss sent me home for the rest of the day. I've been through some shit, and that was one of the hardest things I've done, hands down.
I have also had numerous other traumatic things happen to me, and to be honest almost all of them went unreported.
Just because someone didn't report something, does NOT mean that it didn't happen, or that person is any less of a victim/survivor. Going through the court process as a victim is traumatizing in itself, and most of the time there's not enough evidence so either they get a plea deal, or worse the case gets dropped all together. Saying some BS like "if I assaulted you, why didn't you report it" just goes to show that the person is incredibly ignorant when it comes to SA/R/DV, but sadly other ignorant people believe it. It's messed up.
I hope you're in a good place now. 💚
@@shannonEGBOK thanks❤️
Well hello fellow Olmsted. Not often I see one without the ‘a!’
And yes, very much agreed. I’ve only reported one of mine. It was too traumatizing to ever go through that again. I don’t blame anyone for not reporting. Massive kudos for those who decide to report, but I completely empathize with people who don’t want to risk the overwhelming negative consequences that come from making it public and fighting it in court. Everyone has a different healing journey and no one should be judged for waiting until they’re ready to come forward or for deciding not to.
Much love and hugs to you, I hope you are in a happy, healthy place. ❤️
I wish I had the proper words to tell you how sorry and truly angry I am for what you went through. I hope you are able to find peace, stability and safety in your life now. I don’t know what the greater power is but I at least believe one exists and people who hurt others will meet their consequences one way or another even if it’s looking in the mirror and dealing with their true self. Sending you so much love and hope for a brighter tomorrow ❤
Her saying “ why didn’t you “ is so telling about how much she’s trying to blame him for something she did.
I started repeating out loud “It is not my fault”, like you suggested, and it _immediately_ brought tears to my eyes. I’m a big victim advocate, but it can still be hugely difficult to really believe those words on a personal level.
AS A MOTHER OF BOYS, this sickens me. A 17 year old boy I know is considered a “good boy”
And has been put in positions like this. He gave a girl a ride and she groped him while he was driving, even going as far as trying to undo his pants WHILE HES ASKING HER TO STOP.
She was stranded he gave her a ride and she put him in this position.
And HE carried the shame after.
That's horrible I hope he doesn't blame himself because it wasn't his fault that she took advantage of him
I never don't need to hear swoop tell me that she "believes me, loves me, and that I deserve to feel safe." it's been years of processing, I'm in a pretty good place with everything that happened that me, but man it *always* feels good to hear that
Seriously, every time she says that I tear up. It affects me so much in the best way. And I’m also someone who has spent many years processing and working with my trauma, so I can only imagine how someone actively going through something would feel hearing this encouragement. That makes me feel good
Same!!! Saying it with my WHOLE chest!!💜
@@Patchouliprince I'm crying. that's what's happening. I'm very young(a teen) and I got out of the very abusive household I was being raised in, I will be eternally gratefully that one of my bio parents(my dad) isn't horrible and was willing to fight for custody(of me and my brother). I'm wading through years of shit trying to not let it drown me, while not fully believing myself. I found this channel and it took me a while to try watching one of her vidoes relating to SA, but I enjoyed the way that she talk about other things and gave it a try. every time she says something like that and I have the energy mentally to participate(say it along with her) I start crying, spending minutes just staring at the screen, listening, and dissociating. I find myself overwhelmed and sometimes on the verge of a panic attack, but after working myself down I feel this deep sense of relief that has made me watch these docs over and over when I'm deep in it.
I am in a much better house now and have a dad and older brother(who was in the same house, so he gets it) supporting me. I see a therapist and going to see doctors. wanted to add that. I not doing good, but maybe someday... thats weird to even write. this is a long response to a response. I'm gonna comment this and hope that that doesn't make I to real and I start spiraling again because i might be lying because i don't remember everything vividly... wish me luck? and hope you have a nice day/night:)
@@sporadicpuck105 Much love to you kiddo, I’m happy to hear you’ve got a support system. You are never alone in this.
I would love a "It's not drama, it's dangerous" shirt.
I have gotten "Well I don't know about that" comments so many times about so many topics that are actually dangerous but people have pushed off to be "drama", "scandals", or just flat out dismissive. It's not drama, it's dangerous such a great statement to continue to bring awareness. 💜💜
Can you PLEASE do a video on Brendan Fraser?? I had no idea he went thru all that he did being SA'd by a Hollywood executive and being black.balled. a doc on that would be much appreciated
Yeah, Hollywood did Brendan Fraser real dirty. I am so happy that he is making a comeback and all of his fans have been waiting for his return.
@@leileyaravencroft me too totally!
Wait! What?
When did this happen?
Yes, please !
Swoop… I didn’t know I needed to hear you say that it isn’t my fault. It’s not our fault. I didn’t expect to get emotional, but I haven’t really processed that it wasn’t my fault. Thank you a million times ❤️❤️❤️
honestly, hearing the description of "enthusiastic consent" is like a perfect description on why I had people pick me up from my last like 3 dates? If someone's just assuming and not asking, I'm *running*
Run and never look back.
Jack is such a soldier man I don't even know what to say. The strength in that man is astonishing. This man's statement, and his courage in this situation, will be essential for the mental health and healing of so many thousands of men. Jack is the type of "influencer" that I am beyond proud to see influencing the children of today. Here's to Jack, and all the men that resonated with his message. We hear you, we believe you, we love you, and we are so fucking proud of you.
When swoop literally addressed jack and offered him a safe space I almost started crying
Its the invalidating victims for me that makes me LIVID.
Her reaction to this continues to make me wanna hurl.
Child needs a HARSH and UNFORGIVING reality check. Wish Granted, girl.
Men are not immune to SA, ya'll. I hate this stigma to my core.
The way victims of SA and R are treated is disgusting. It is one of the most traumatizing experiences you can have. My firsthand experience with the system only made me lose more faith. One instance I reported, I was friends with him, I had been letting him stay at my place for a few days (under platonic conditions), and he drugged me. The prosecutor wanted to move forward with the case, but the detective shamed me so much that I just dropped it. My second experience the guy was actually convicted. All that experience showed me is that if I ever get r'd again, I better hope I'm conscious and alert, he's a complete stranger, and I have injuries from physically resisting. The vast majority of cases are not a stranger using force. My second experience shouldn't have been more "believable" because of those details.
Also shoutout to RAINN. I called their hotline after that second experience because my husband was deployed and I was losing it. They helped me a lot ❤️
The ending of SWOOP repeatedly saying how it's not a victim's fault will probably be something I'll come back to often.
It really helps. Thank you.
When he said he felt like he owed it to her, I can’t explain how hard that is to hear. NO ONE OWES ANYONE SEX.
Crying right now; your ending monologue about how it is not our fault as victims no matter WHAT the situation.....thank you for that. I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking “I really needed to hear that”. Thank you 💔
I really appreciate the end where you listed out different situations and said “it’s not your fault” to each one. Even though I can logically tell myself it’s not my fault, it still doesn’t feel real to me. So it is really nice to hear someone say it so clearly and specifically; it makes me feel more understood and safe
I cry every time you talk straight to the survivors of SA. I know there are many of us watching, and it both comforts and terrifies me that so many share in our pain. Hearing those words spoken so genuinely always makes me feel a little less alone.
That ending, though.. 😭
I'll go ahead and speak for everyone affected; thank you, Swoop. We needed to hear that. ❤
I got an upsetting call the other day... The police will not charge my abuser for SA even though I gave them photos of the bruises he left down there (I couldn't sit properly for weeks).
I was told it was "not enough evidence". I don't know what to do. They said it's better if I do nothing.
I've been told this from a previous assault too.
I'm angry.
I'm proud of Jack for coming forward.
Men, don't be afraid to speak out. We're all here for you 💖
Young children have the ability to comprehend consent so “being young” has nothing to do with what has happened but with who she is at the core
Love you and love your docs Swoop! Appreciate you bringing light to these situations. Not often do men feel safe or able to speak up about abuse
I have the highest respect for you for how much research you do behind your videos it's refreshing to see
I appreciated the apology to Rebecca's. It was a really funny line but kept catching me off guard because my name is Rebeccah. I kept responding back to you, "I know! I'm sorry! It wasn't me!!" 🤣
Non Shitty Rebeccas and Beckys represent! *fistpump*
Same here 😆
Solidarity
This hits close to home, as someone who has been SA from a female friend. I will never see justice for it since it happened so long ago. She moved away and has recently moved back to the same area.
It may be a good idea to get into therapy for this. Even if you don't want to ever confront her, if there's a chance you may come face to face, you should have as much protection as possible.
While not sexually abused ever. It’s still a nice reminder to hear as a girl did straight up strangle me senior year of high school and has left me with ptsd. Knowing it’s not my fault means the world to me especially considering the girls I considered friends at the time always told it that yes indeed it was all my fault. Thanks for the constant reminders. It’s part of the reason I adore you and your channel so much.
I want to know... how was someone putting their hands on you... to strangle you... your fault? I don't know you and I don't know the girl who did that to you... but I would think that it doesn't matter what you did, no one should put their hands on you like that EVER.
The part at 23:40 where he talked about trying to gently force her off of him "took a couple of tries because I didn't want to be too rough" really hurts my heart.
I worked with kids over the summer and a few times would be playing a game that stopped being safe because I was so much stronger than them. I knew that if I didn't stay 100% in control of how much force I was using, I could seriously hurt my kids, so I'd change the game or change my role so that everyone stayed safe, which sometimes made me "less fun". I'm transgender(ftm) and am a lot stronger than I was before my hormonal transition, so I have to be even more cautious.
The thing about being the physically stronger person in any scenario is that it places the responsibility on you to make sure no one is injured. In my case, it WAS my responsibility as the adult in charge, but I can imagine feeling locked in and defenseless if someone "weaker" than me was assailing me. She weaponized her physicality in order to come out the victim in all this, and it didn't work, but the attempt was disgusting.
My daughter is almost 3 and the rest of the kids in her daycare group is 2-3 ... and they get it. If one wants a hug, and the other says no, they respect it lol Little kids are finicky and their moods flip flop but when my kid showed she didn’t want a hug bye from a friend she adores, the girl stopped and said “aw okay”
There is no excuses by your super sweet 18!! No Sienna!! Sienna no!!!
Even like "spontaneous" stuff can be consented to! Having a conversation like "babe I would love it if you woke me up with ✨fun time✨ one day"... Or from the other side: "babe how would you feel if I did ✨a thing ✨ sometime?" Setting boundaries and safe words is also super important and it doesn't take away from the "magic"! Everything can be talked about and negotiated!
Was listening to this in the background as I did stuff around my apartment. Got to the end “it’s not your fault” being repeated over and over again I got chills I immediately stopped what I was doing to burst into tears that have been held onto for far to long. For that ending alone thank you for making this documentary ❤️
THANK YOU FOR BRINGING THIS BACK UP! I don't understand how she can get away with this and move forward with a clear conscience unless she genuinely thinks she's in the right here. it's pretty insane, but so blessed to have u here for this content ❤
You are putting in WORK. I see you girl. You are so thorough and on point. You amplify the voices of survivors and I appreciate it so much. Thank you for no being afraid to speak frankly and call out the facts and the truth as they are (allegedly). I can’t give you enough praise for these docs and all the tons of work and care you put in. More people need to hear your voice and your message.
Military spouse here, and in twenty years I lost track of how many guys I cleaned up after they'd been worked over by their wives. But I testified in two divorces, both times for men who'd been abused. "Plain old-fashioned traumatized" unfortunately really nails it.
I've got PTSD from women like Sienna; it's not just men they want, who they abuse. It's all a power trip to them and woe if you get in the way.
This, Brendan Frasier's comeback, the stuff with Johnny Depp, this society DESPERATELY needs to have a lot of conversations about men, sexual assault, and domestic violence.
It also took my daughter many years to tell her truth about what happened to her. Sometimes the victim never talks because of people not believing them and our justice system slapping them on the wrist!
I can't explain how or why you saying "I believe you" made me tear up. Sometimes I don't believe me... but hearing you reminding me it wasn't my fault is so validating - just... Thank you.
Your videos are always a treat, not just because they are amazing, but because YOU are amazing! The way you present the stories respectfully (but with a healthy amount of love filled petty) have me rewatching your docs multiple times. Probably have seen the Creepshow trilogy at least 10 times.
You're a wonderful person and can't wait to continue seeing your channel grow and get the recognition it deserves
PS: Waiting for next paycheque to get me some Petty University Apparel! It looks so good and I need a Swoopy Mint Hoodie yesterday lol
I appreciate you repeating “it’s not your fault” at the end. I was in a relationship from 18-31 (I am 33 now), and I lived for years believing something was wrong with me because he says he’s allowed to do this because we are in a relationship. It wasn’t until 1 night my daughter woke up crying banging on my door because she had a nightmare, and this strength I never knew existed inside of me came out, and I told him “you will NEVER touch me again!” And the next day we packed our stuff up and left him. I still struggle with a lot of guilt, and I didn’t know it but I needed to hear “it’s not your fault” thanks Swoop, you’re doing something really amazing by being an advocate for survivors ❤️
I’m sitting here finishing up work and listening/watching your vid and that last part GOT me, like bad. I burst into tears. My daughter is 15 and was groomed online when she was 7 and was talked into sending birthday suit pics to someone and I blame myself for it everyday. I also am a victim of SA and physical abuse
My family called me manipulative because I didn't speak up against my step brother who began molesting me when I was 11 years old until I was 19. I stayed with him in that "relationship" because it took me EIGHT years to realize what was happening to me.
Oh, SWOOP, I LOVE your affirmations. Love that you've got Jack's back on this one. Survivors gotta support each other!
This girl seems to refuse to see or evaluate how her actions affected her friend. Seems slimy and very very wrong. I just found you recently and I really enjoyed your docs. Working on that Petty PhD 💙
“I hope they cancel me”? I don’t usually like doing vile people any favors but I think this is a request that the internet will happily oblige her in
I feel for him so much, his story is so important and I find it really brave of him to make his voice heard. Sienna is just keeping the trauma and hurt going just because she doesn't understand her toxic and abusive behaviors. This one really hit hard for me. Especially when you went through the situations at the end - the "not your fault" part. I hope all survivors truly learn this and stop blaming themselves. I hope one day that I can as well.
it hurts so bad to hear jack say he doesn’t think he’ll ever be the same as he was before. i relate to that feeling so much and it’s especially hard to accept when you initially hope/think you’ll just “get over it”
Spankie had me almost in tears and had full body chills with the last bit about it not being the victim's fault. It's nice to hear it sometimes, especially when my own brain turns against me and says I could've done more. 🥺💕
Swoop this is not old news. Thank you for covering this story. As the mother of a boy child who is just a year younger than Jack I can only imagine the pain and hell he would be feeling and going through. I am so proud of Jack for standing up and telling his truth. It is hard for boys and men to speak up just like it is for girls and women. Keep shouting at the top of your lungs this is not your fault. Keep up the great work Swoop. Keep being the strong amazing young man you are Jack. To anyone else reading this, you are important and you deserve to have your voice heard.
At the end when you were going over all of the scenarios and noting how each one still makes it not your fault. The one that hit me was when you mentioned initiating contact and then changing your mind. I was sexually assaulted during the fall semester of my junior year of undergraduate. By the time I had realized what happened, it had been a good 24 hours later and I had showered and what not and any possible evidence that could’ve been left was pretty much gone. I still went through 7to 9 months of hell trying to get him held accountable through the University which he was unfortunately not found guilty. But your genuine integrity and kindness with your documentaries, especially deep ones like this, is a big reason why I am subscribed to you and continue to watch your videos. Thank you so much for being an advocate.
I have a friend who has been SA'd so many times now that she whole heartily believes it was her fault and I just wanted to thank you swoop because you give a voice to those who have been hurt this way and you tell them it's not their fault. I wish my friend could believe it (I tell her all the time) but its such an important message. Thank you
I love that you constantly talk about this and bring light to this. I dislike the idea that a victims validation is only valid when their story is going viral. If you are a victim of SA or any type of abuse, you will always be valid and there is no time frame on your story. To the people that say , “who cares this was a month ago,” I say this, just because these are social media influencers does not mean they are any less of a human compared to everyone else. We need to be okay with constantly talking about this so more people are aware of SA etc. I have never been a victim of SA, but my heart goes out to anyone that has, whether female or male, you are still a person and you still should feel valued no matter what. Sending love to every survivor. I am so proud of you for surviving and being able to get through what horrible things you went through 🥹❤️
THIS IS IMPORTANT! I am so glad you are talking about this! I have a family member that didn’t tell us for years, about his assault. I am mean years, I would say 18 years to tell us. He had even heard my own story and still didn’t tell us because of the stigma, because he was not ready. He probably would have never told us, but he found something that resonated with him. I’ll tell you Corey Taylor, yes Slipknot’s Corey Taylor, probably saved his life with his interview in 2017. I know he will never see this but I am so proud of Jack for being so brave. He is showing young boys that it is okay to speak up, to let them know that this is something that can happen, and it is okay to talk about.
So proud of Corey- he helped many. I hope he realizes that. His trauma, and the sharing of, I know helped others. I'm glad your family member was finally able to open up. It saddens me when victims are ashamed, as they have NO reason to be. The sick assholes who commit the literal crime, that's where shame should lie. Unfortunately, most don't have that setting.
I hope he's still doing better...
I’ve been slowly coming to terms with the potential that I was SA’d by a previous partner over the past year or so, and hearing you repeat over and over again “it’s not your fault” nearly brought me to tears. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully unravel my emotions around that person, but the repetitive support is nice to hear no matter what.
I knew a girl who was SA'd in her sleep by a long term partner, who also took photos of her naked without her consent or knowledge (she actually found these images by accident on their shared computer), and she broke up with him immediately. She's still really traumatised by it. I can't believe that so many people are overlooking the impact of waking up to someone you trust touching you and treating you like some sort of inanimate object for them to get their kicks out of. It's invasive, invalidating, dehumanising and traumatising. It would be shocking and upsetting if anyone were to do it, but the perpetrator being someone you trust just adds a whole other layer to the heartache. I feel so awful for him.
Great doc as usual! And it’s so important that you covered consent…young adults and even us older heads need to learn how to be open and have a conversation with the ones we care about/love! If you care about someone, you’ll work on protecting each other in every way! 👏🏻♥️
The saying at the end where u are describing different situations saying “it is not ur fault” i had a visceral reaction too and started crying hard that had such a big impact on me tysm for all you do on this platform
SENDING LOVE to the first person I heard saying "IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT"!! Thank you so much for the reminder I believe a lot of needed to hear..🖤
I just wanted to thank you so much for so very many things, but specifically the emphasis you put on consent in this video. I'm a fun combination of asexual and (afab) nonbinary. I have had partners of multiple different genders with whom I've had to have hard conversations regarding consent and how not everyone approaches intimacy the same way, and those conversations change swiftly depending on who I'm seeing.
Women and femme folks tend to be the most outwardly accepting of my hard boundaries, but are also the fastest (in my experience) to cross "simple" boundaries, like kissing or touching in certain ways, even if I've asked them repeatedly not to. Their replies have been fairly uniform in these instances: they just think they're being cute, girls are just naturally more touchy, it's not a big deal, it's how girls show affection, etc. Luckily my past partners responded well when we had a conversation about why that line of thinking isn't okay, but I see all of this cranked to 11 with zero accountability in Sienna and it's disgusting. I feel awful for Jack, and hope he understands that he has support and that he deserves to find healing.
Your sincerity at the end when saying “it is not your fault” truly made me emotional. I’m fortunate to have not experienced SA, but I know your words are helping many. Thank you for being vulnerable & sharing your own experience, because you are truly making a difference. Big hugs to you, SWOOP💙💙💙
I learned about consent when I was 8. I loved hugging and massaging friends as a kid and thought it was a valid and acceptable expression of care. I hugged a friend and classmate, and he said to me, "have you ever considered some people don't want to be hugged?" My world shattered, and I was mortified that I had potentially been forcing hugs on people who didn't want that, but it taught me the lesson.
Also, regarding consent, when my SA happened I made eye contact and nodded, but it was while I was having a mental breakdown and bawling. The guy had been verbally abusing me for a couple hours and he told me that he was "going to take you now, okay?" What do you say to that? Taking the assault and getting it over with was better than testing what he would do if I refused him. Coercion needs to be accounted for, I think.
I told my story to the police a year later (after I got out of that situation) and they dismissed me from the station without even recording my having been in to make a statement.
The ending has me in tears. Thank you for reminding me that it’s not my fault. It’s so incredibly easy to put the blame on yourself… “I put myself in that situation, so it’s my fault.” That’s my own personal mantra when I get into a negative headspace.
I just recently found your channel and I absolutely love your content, your smile, your humor, and your heart. Thank you, thank you, thank you ❤️❤️❤️
I had no idea who these people were, but I'm always happy to watch Swoop cover a story! Thank you for handling difficult topics and providing important information on how people can get help.
One thing RUclipsrs are always consistent about is that no matter how bad what they do makes them look, you can always count on the way that they react to it making them look even worse.
Thank you for bringing up so many important points. Not only does this explain how problematic this is for people who may not understand the issue, it also validates the feelings of every SA-survivor. Thank you❤️
I never reported the person that assaulted me. It was almost 10 years ago. I never will. The thought of having to go to court and have a lawyer try to shred my story or my credibility apart, was enough for me to just deal with what happened to me internally. The worst thing in the world, the most disgusting thought that I still have, is “at least it wasn’t worse. At least I wasn’t full on r***d.” those words have even been said to me by others when I share what happened. I didn’t ask for him to touch me that way. What happened was NOT okay. I hope one day, people are less sh!tty and stop hurting others.
Reliving a traumatic memory happens solely in sensory imagery (like remembering the feel of their hands, remembering a snapshot of the place of your assault). In fact, the entire left side of the brain responsible for logic and language shuts down completely. So for a survivor it’s nearly impossible to form a structured story with a clear narrative when reliving their trauma unless they have been forced to emotionally detach themselves completely. That’s why so many victims get gaslit into thinking their assault didn’t happen
That’s….not how the brain works. There is no such thing as left or right brain. Reliving traumatic memories is something that pertains to the limbic system, diencephalon, and brain stem. The frontal cortex is what you’re very incorrectly labeling the “entire left side of the brain.”
Reading through the comments I see so many stories of pain and horror that you all have gone through. I wish I could tell each and everyone of you that you deserve all the love and happiness in the world. The stories I have read here have truly impacted me. You are all strong, incredible, POWERFUL SURVIVORS. I just want to wish anyone who has gone through those horrors all the peace and happiness in the world. Please never forget you are just damn magnificent. Don’t you ever let those evil people snuff out you light. SHINE BABY.
To anyone who hasn’t been able to seek help for something that has happened to them. You are not alone. You have people who love you and will stand with you. You did not deserve this. This is not your fault. Please do whatever will heal you. You deserve freedom from the darkness that you’ve gone through. Sending so much freaking love to you all.
❤
i know it’s bc i’m a women that i keep trying to put myself in her shoes, but whenever I try to empathize w sienna, i come up with nothing. there is no circumstance, situation or setting where i could ever even *think* about doing the things sienna did. i’ve loved people who didn’t love me back yet still i was never tempted to force myself on them. the people who do these things, gender be damned, have something within them that we will never understand. i am a survivor (non violent forced contact, it feels so much lesser), and even before that i will ride or die for ANY survivor.
If the roles were reversed Jack's life would be destroyed forever basically.
Nah he probably would still have audience and a platform. Dudes like jake paul or david dobrik went back to basically normal after their respective sa related scandals. Cancel culture sucks at actually punishing these types of people. Unless enough surfaces for the actual legal system to get involved, or the offending party actually feels bad about what they did and takes themselves of the platform, nothing ever actually comes out of "the canceling" .
Another example, Onision still somehow has fans and defenders. As well as a youtube channel.
@@postrachsmietnikow she did sexual assault not record a dead body lol. Trust me his life would be destroyed. LOL
@@postrachsmietnikow oh my god he is STILL posting?!
@@postrachsmietnikowDoubtful. Men who get falsely accused (with no evidence mind you) get absolutely destroyed and have their lives ruined. Only women can get away with being perpetrators, as Sienna Mae is still very much successful and has a career.
All these years and I still cry when I hear "it's not your fault". Thank you.
I can’t thank you enough for how often and how loudly you speak for survivors. I’m only months into processing 5 years worth of SA that will never be recognized by the law in my state. It’s dehumanizing, the acts I was victim to and the stigma I live with as the survivor of Domestic SA. No victim, regardless of gender identity, martial status, relationship, age, etc should be ignore or silenced. Thank you for being our voice 🖤
was about to close my laptop and sleep as midnight is fast approaching, but nope, gonna watch the new SWOOP video. This is gonna help my fibro pain riddled body to wind down, as your voice is just so soothing
well... here I am again, watching it again, as I did fall asleep while watching it yesterday. Not that I mind. I watch all your videos multiple times as every time I discover something new and once I don't anymore it's perfect background noise.
as a survivor, i stand behind everything you said in regards to the survivor community as a whole. thank you.
I really appreciate you putting out part two of this! You always treat these with care, consideration, a thought.
Hey, thank you for always showing your support for survivors whenever you do a video of this nature. Sometimes I don't need to hear it, but sometimes I do. Thank you for the love you show Jack, even if he doesn't need to hear it today- he might tomorrow. You're awesome, you have all my love SWOOP.
The 2 assaults I suffered I never pursued action because it felt like I would be laughed at. I'm so glad he had the strength to say something at all and I hope Jack can move on and live a wonderful life 🖤🖤🖤
I hope YOU can live a wonderful life. You deserve safety and happiness and to thrive. ❤
@@Stopthisrightnow560 Thank you 🖤🥺 I hope you're doing well an continue to friend!
Hey, Swoop. I just want to say that I, as survivor with severe PTSD, want to thank you for telling me that it was not my fault. More ppl need to hear that. I know you probably won't see this, given how popular you are, but thank you. I was really low when I first heard you say that to the point where I was thinking of killing myself and you... you stopped me from doing that. You saved a life. Thank you.
If Sienna Mae would have just kept her mouth shut, she probably could have saved her career if she didnt make her dance apology video. She couldn't stay quiet 🤷🏿♀️ typically narcissist behavior.
I have PTSD from a past relationship and I hear and see him because of what he did to me. I wouldn't wish this pain and suffering on anyone, the fact she did this to Jack is beyond frustrating to me. Thank you to anyone who tells their story, you don't have to, but you do. Thank you for being so brave
Will definitely have this video ready when I need a reminder that “it is NOT your fault” ❤ love you Swoop