Most valuable point to me was what you said about understanding that this person is trying to offer your their value the best they can. That makes it a bit easier to tolerate. When people give me unsolicited advice about something that they haven’t even taken time to understand, it just makes me think that they just want to hear themselves talk or that they are seriously underestimating me
Unsolicited Advice is usually someone trying to "get one over you" and sometimes it is bad advice and if you follow it it will make the situation worse.
“I haven’t received an email yet”. Exactly. This is the exact situation I’ve been in. About a year ago I wanted to create my own business and I overheard a close family-in law member say “someday they will thank me for not starting that business”. They were super negative from the start. It was crushing. What’s even more crushing to me is that I started the business with my wife and we were successful from the start and still are growing fast. Now, this in law is always telling us what to do and how to speak to certain clients and also acting like our biggest supporter. The advice is constant and it’s frustrating. I never wanted to come from a place of “I’ll show you”, but they did and now they’re trying to be a part of it. It’s hard.
asking for an email is such a brilliant idea!! this way Genius Advice Giver doesn’t feel rejected and it also gives you time to evaluate their advice. i agree they are trying to show their value and/or trying to dominate you or the conversation. also an email breaks that power dynamic.
I have no problem with advice when it’s coming from a genuine place of throwing an idea out there. What pisses me off is when I feel like they’re doing it to give themselves the emotional satisfaction of being “the advisor”
I disagree with the 1st point, even if the person is worthy, it is disrespectful of them that they do this. They must ask themselves first if you want this advice, I don't care who the fuck this person is. President, angel, janitor, astrophysicist, the minute you "impose" advice you undermine the person "recieving" it.. You take away their dignity to choose if or if not they wanna listen to your advice.
@axeld93 this is such a good phrase. Thank you for sharing! May I ask : how could a person respond in a similar manner to their mother ( respectfully) ? ( I would much appreciate your input - if you wish to share it, of course) THANK YOU VERY MUCH
I kind of like love this advice. I fr don't comment much but I feel this so much. I just got my first job out of college in the profession I am in and this 34 yr old (I am 26 yr rn), will not stop trying to impart their wisdom on me. I consider myslef open minded and I love to reasearch topics I 'm very invested in but whenever I try to talk about something I've put countless hours in this dude tests me and tries to contradict information I've gathered from people I respect, like I have to defend every belief I have. Its frustrating to say the least, but I am stubborn and will still remain open minded to others beliefs, however, if anyone tries to tell me how to think......
Well said. I’m going through this now but I struggle because I’m either too nice or a Dick. It is hard to find that middle ground. I just lost 25 lbs. I’m ripped, feel strong and great. I eat mostly meat (personal choice) but the results have shown. My clothes are still kinda big so I look smaller than I am. multiple people I know start saying “you should eat more you look anorexic.” They’ll also say “oh your cholesterol is probably way to high you should eat healthier.” Every one of them is hardly physically active ever and eat an average if not bad diet. I just smile and nod but really want to say shut up. This made me think the best solution is to say “ I appreciate the concern but I feel great.” Simple and straight to the point.
Thank you so much Cyrus for your advise on people giving unsolicited advice. your points we great regarding those who want to help and also for those who just want to give advice were very well stated.
This was gold! And I liked your examples! People around me try to tell me how to run my youtube channel too- but I wished I would have heard this video before I told ppl to stay in their lane. lol I now know to hit em with the “can you send this in an email”
The thing to do is to establish only a few tried and true people who you only listen to and can trust with whatever is being said between the two of you. Easier said than done however.
iv been working on getting myself into a better situation and my dad come and gives me unsolicited advise, its not even advise hes just telling me to do things that i was already doing/going to do so he can take the credit, i hate that he told me to do things i was already going to do and now i dont want to even continue. now if i continue what i was already doing iots doing what he told me to do and its taken all the fun out of the idea and just ruined it
Great video and same great tips- I love the idea of the email but do you have any advice when someone doesn’t listen to you when you say it’s something you have tried and it didn’t work and then they just talk over you and continue to repeat the same advice again ? I’ve noticed only certain personalities do it, but it would be nice to deal with it in a healthy way rather than walking away from frustration
Just have them read 1 Peter 4:15 - "But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler." Unwanted advice comes from someone who's right up there with murderers, thieves and evildoers.
Most valuable point to me was what you said about understanding that this person is trying to offer your their value the best they can. That makes it a bit easier to tolerate. When people give me unsolicited advice about something that they haven’t even taken time to understand, it just makes me think that they just want to hear themselves talk or that they are seriously underestimating me
Best response to unsolicited advice. "Yeah....OK"
It just a ego boost for them usually “oh I been there this is what you do” basically
Unsolicited Advice is usually someone trying to "get one over you" and sometimes it is bad advice and if you follow it it will make the situation worse.
“I haven’t received an email yet”. Exactly. This is the exact situation I’ve been in. About a year ago I wanted to create my own business and I overheard a close family-in law member say “someday they will thank me for not starting that business”. They were super negative from the start. It was crushing. What’s even more crushing to me is that I started the business with my wife and we were successful from the start and still are growing fast. Now, this in law is always telling us what to do and how to speak to certain clients and also acting like our biggest supporter. The advice is constant and it’s frustrating. I never wanted to come from a place of “I’ll show you”, but they did and now they’re trying to be a part of it. It’s hard.
Best response is: “I do not need advice.” I’m not going through all these rings just to manage someone else’s emotions.
Also, unsolicited advice is a symptom of codependency. A codependent person will give advice just to feel like they are needed.
Conclusion: Differentiate advice vs. talking!
Love this video. Someone gave me unsolicited advice yesterday and I’m still making up clever ways to respond to them. So roud
asking for an email is such a brilliant idea!! this way Genius Advice Giver doesn’t feel rejected and it also gives you time to evaluate their advice. i agree they are trying to show their value and/or trying to dominate you or the conversation. also an email breaks that power dynamic.
I have no problem with advice when it’s coming from a genuine place of throwing an idea out there. What pisses me off is when I feel like they’re doing it to give themselves the emotional satisfaction of being “the advisor”
I disagree with the 1st point, even if the person is worthy, it is disrespectful of them that they do this. They must ask themselves first if you want this advice, I don't care who the fuck this person is. President, angel, janitor, astrophysicist, the minute you "impose" advice you undermine the person "recieving" it.. You take away their dignity to choose if or if not they wanna listen to your advice.
Agree.
@axeld93 this is such a good phrase. Thank you for sharing! May I ask : how could a person respond in a similar manner to their mother ( respectfully) ? ( I would much appreciate your input - if you wish to share it, of course) THANK YOU VERY MUCH
I kind of like love this advice. I fr don't comment much but I feel this so much. I just got my first job out of college in the profession I am in and this 34 yr old (I am 26 yr rn), will not stop trying to impart their wisdom on me. I consider myslef open minded and I love to reasearch topics I 'm very invested in but whenever I try to talk about something I've put countless hours in this dude tests me and tries to contradict information I've gathered from people I respect, like I have to defend every belief I have. Its frustrating to say the least, but I am stubborn and will still remain open minded to others beliefs, however, if anyone tries to tell me how to think......
Well said. I’m going through this now but I struggle because I’m either too nice or a Dick. It is hard to find that middle ground. I just lost 25 lbs. I’m ripped, feel strong and great. I eat mostly meat (personal choice) but the results have shown. My clothes are still kinda big so I look smaller than I am. multiple people I know start saying “you should eat more you look anorexic.” They’ll also say “oh your cholesterol is probably way to high you should eat healthier.” Every one of them is hardly physically active ever and eat an average if not bad diet. I just smile and nod but really want to say shut up. This made me think the best solution is to say “ I appreciate the concern but I feel great.” Simple and straight to the point.
One of the first videos I’ve found on the topic that is to the point with good advice
This email idea is genius. Thank you for your input and experience.
Thank man, good video. It's tough dealing with these people and I don't know how to respond sometimes.
it can be tough sometimes... thanks for watching!
Good advice right here. They definitely not sending an email, text, DM, nothing lol.
definitely not!
Thank you so much! This is the exact advice I was looking for.
Thank you! Thank you for your videos as well. You do amazing work. Helped me quite a bit on photoshop.
Exactly I am currently in a situation with weirdos who think they can control me
Thank you so much Cyrus for your advise on people giving unsolicited advice. your points we great regarding those who want to help and also for those who just want to give advice were very well stated.
This was gold! And I liked your examples! People around me try to tell me how to run my youtube channel too- but I wished I would have heard this video before I told ppl to stay in their lane. lol I now know to hit em with the “can you send this in an email”
The thing to do is to establish only a few tried and true people who you only listen to and can trust with whatever is being said between the two of you. Easier said than done however.
How would you handle a person who is giving unsolicited advice who is close to you? Like a family member or a friend?
TELL ON IT!!!
got to!
iv been working on getting myself into a better situation and my dad come and gives me unsolicited advise, its not even advise hes just telling me to do things that i was already doing/going to do so he can take the credit, i hate that he told me to do things i was already going to do and now i dont want to even continue. now if i continue what i was already doing iots doing what he told me to do and its taken all the fun out of the idea and just ruined it
really good video.. but now I recognize I just let people talk and talk and talk
Great video and same great tips- I love the idea of the email but do you have any advice when someone doesn’t listen to you when you say it’s something you have tried and it didn’t work and then they just talk over you and continue to repeat the same advice again ? I’ve noticed only certain personalities do it, but it would be nice to deal with it in a healthy way rather than walking away from frustration
Honestly
Just have them read 1 Peter 4:15 - "But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler." Unwanted advice comes from someone who's right up there with murderers, thieves and evildoers.
Folks who give unwanted advice just like the smell of their own fart.