I would love to know... what is the rudest question you have ever received and how did you respond to it? Were you happy with your response or do you wish you had handled it differently? I look forward to reading your comments. As always, thank you for watching. Love, Jennifer
For me the worst and most painful question (when I was younger) was When are you going to have children? or Why don't you have children? or something like that. I am in my 70's and don't have children - not by choice.
I have a lot of siblings, and when I was a kid people would ask me things like, ”Are your parents going to have more kids?” And then follow up with, ”How do you feel about your parents having more kids?” All these questions and similar ones made me so uncomfortable growing up.
Someone asked me if all my children had the same father? The answer of course is yes. I feel like they asked because my middle son is blonde with blue eyes and my other two have dark features. But I was taken aback by that. Their father is blonde with blue eyes but he shaves his head and has a darker brown beard. I have dark hair and eyes. It was so odd lol
Years ago, Ann Landers offered a wonderful response for virtually any rude or unwanted question: smile and say, “I can’t imagine why that would interest you.”
Jen Jen, you are a hoot with your “no social awareness”! The trick is to reply and pivot away. Or smile and say nothing to the socially unaware response, if you have the stones LOL.
It always bothered me when people found out I was a stay at home mom, they assumed I didn't do anything. Staying at home with kids is the most important, and most difficult job there is! No coffee or lunch breaks, no raises or awards for performance. But we are nurturing the next generation! Our culture seems to only approve of jobs that make lots of money. It is so sad.
Standards for childrearing and homemaking vary from person to person. If you put a lot of effort into training and educating your children as well as cleaning and organizing your home, you will be much busier than the average person would realize.
Aaaaggghh I hate that too. People also assume that being at home means you have time to help them with whatever project they have in mind, run clubs, etc. etc. etc. "But what do you DO all day?" has to be up there on the top ten rude questions list...
I remembered my elegant mother responding to an intrusive question with the reply “I am so surprised you asked that question.” And then she just smiled at the questioner.
My daughter and her husband, who were devoted to their careers, had their son later in life and decided to stop at one. He was quite a rambunctious toddler and they were super tolerant of his antics. When people would ask when she was going to have a second child, she'd reply, "We're still trying to decide if we're going to keep the one we have!"
My mother in law has told me a few times that I look “tired”. One time was shortly after having my son. I probably did look tired but sometimes she says whatever comes to her mind 😂🙈. I try not to let it get to me and just smile.
@@GemsOfGrace ahhh yes...I have that kind of mom in law. I've been told my hair is "too big" and the rash on my chin will spoil my wedding photos. :) lovely
My husband gave me great advice when someone asks either a rude or personal question: you respond by saying, “why do you ask”? This way you turn the tables toward them. 😉
i feel like spinning the question back onto them is a butt thing to do in most cases. might as well just answer the question at that point if you're going to spend your breath.
Is this "rude" per se, or just unimaginative? Years ago, when I was job hunting, I would tell people that when they asked this question. Big mistake! They would just go down the rabbit hole with you. ("What kind of job are you looking for? Maybe I know someone....") Sometimes, you just want to talk about anything but.
I got asked a lot when I left my career to raise and homeschool my 3 kids. I created a rather lofty mantra to reply with and before I knew it other home schooling moms were using it. One even printed business cards with it. I LOVED ♥️♥️♥️ it. It ended with "What do you do, dearie?" Perhaps not as elegant and Jennifer would be and a little snarky, but it was never asked nicely. Snark for snark. 😳😳😳
I love that! I’m an introvert and I’m quiet around people I don’t know very well. I will try to remember to use that response the next time someone asks me that question.
As a single woman, the one I really hate is, "why didn't you ever get married?". It's so loaded with judgment, at least that's my take. The implication being there's something wrong with you that you never married, not that it might be because you never met the right person or that you chose not to. I feel that single people are not understood or appreciated for their contributions to our world/society. I have never ince been thanked for the taxes I've paid that have helped educate their children. Ok, sorry for the rant.
I just added this question as well! One is considered incomplete somehow...secretly, some people might be jealous of our freedom. " I have myself to look after that takes up all my time, thank you!"
I tend to say: Nobody ever managed to catch me - and move on. When in Africa (the area where I was this was a socially accepted question) I'd say: I'm too expensive.
I'm *"successfully single"* myself -- and whenever I'm asked "Why aren't you married?" I reply "Just lucky, I guess!" I know that women resent being asked; but it's loaded for a man, too, because it often implies, "Are you gay?" And SO MANY people think a man must be absolutely helpless without an efficient wife to "take care of" him. No, I'm self-sufficient thanks! Although a lot of married men I've met would probably be eating spaghetti right out of the can if they weren't married. Some of them are so completely incompetent that it's shocking. And in some cultures, boys are RAISED to be helpless so they'll have to get married.
Not a rant, just the facts . Another rude question is why don't you have children. Or right after my brothers wife died some idiot asked him "Are you going to start dating again or get married again" ?
Steve Carson nothing is more attractive than a self sufficient man or woman. Hats off to you . I am thusly inclined towards independence/ self sufficientcy. It would have to take one heck of a good connection to be better than that. For me anyway.
A rude question I'm often asked: What's with the scars on your arm/leg/face/back etc? I just laugh and tell them "Carving a turkey is harder than it looks!" Might sound snarky, but WAY better than the real answer.
Bilge Gnome good one. Leg scar here ( Compound fracture of femur). . . " I got jawed by a great white in a surfing competition". I did used to surf in Cali but that isn't how the scar came about. Thanks for the laugh.
6/16/21.....Somebody asked about my walking GINGERLY after I had taken a bad fall a few days before ..... I smiled & answered AMAZING SEX ORGY LAST NIGHT..... They left me alone after that!
"Carving a turkey" 🦃🤣 Gnome, LOVE your response - I'll file that one away for future use! My go-to has always been just one word, tossed off blithely: "shrapnel". It always elicits a laugh and we move on. 🙄
@@vtheb1299 they've never asked me how before. And I would probably answer, "Magic" with a smile, to really drive home the point that it's none of your damn business.
My rudest question was a brief statement, and it was poignant and very well-meaning, from someone who really cared. I was about 20, and telling a close older friend (50ish with 3 grown children) something about my family. My friend said, “You never even really had a mother.” My mother was mentally ill. When my friend said that, I was stunned. All I could think was how hard my mom tried to be a good mother, a good parent, how horrible the medications were, and the side effects, how little understanding she had in the community, and her family, and in her marriage, and how she still tried her absolute best to love me and raise me, and have a life, against such awful odds. Thanks, Mom. I think all your caring helped me to handle that sad moment, even if you just couldn’t keep up with life. So in a funny way, that rude statement highlighted everything I admired and loved about my mom.
I think one of the biggest take aways I have is to not be offended by people asking innocent questions. I personally don't think most of these questions are rude. I've had people ask me these and I simply respond firmly and confidentiality. "I am a wife and mother." No apologies, no hesitation. I've never had anyone dare try and talk down my answer when I make it clear that I'm not afraid of the question. Confidence is key. 😁
That's awesome! I had someone suggesting jobs to me, even though he knew I was a homeschooling mother. I finally said, "I have a job already!". That felt good. 🙂
This is infuriating. It’s also infuriating the other way round. I went back to school as an adult after some years as a SAHM. Being the people pleaser that I was, I had a tendency to smile a lot. I was in a hospital setting with some other students, doctors and nurses when this particular doctor who enjoyed being a trial to those he considered “lesser” than himself - basically anyone who wasn’t also a doctor. One day he chose me as his target during a sort of “rounds” situation involving a group of other students and personnel. He turned, stared at me, and asked, “Why are you smiling?” Before I could stop myself, I retorted, “Just being useful and grinning like the village idiot to highlight your brilliance so there won’t be any doubt.” He actually took a step back away from me, then said, “That was a surprisingly good answer to a very rude question. I apologize.” And we all just continued in as if it hadn’t happened. He was very respectful after that!
I asked a state senator what projects he was excited about. He told me that noone had ever asked him what he is excited about - ever. He proceeded to tell me about his grandchildren, his boat, legislative issues, etc. and thanked me after the meal for such a nice conversation. People forget that our elected officials are constantly bombarded with the needs and wants of their constituents and sometimes they just need a nice relaxing lunch.
@@halcyondays8945 I remember chatting with a co-worker's new girlfriend at an event and she asked "What do you like to do when you're not working.?" I thought that was a nice way to start a dialogue. Most people have a hobby or interest they enjoy talking about, and since it's an open-ended question it doesn't force the recipient to reveal any more than they want to.
There are times when people say things that can be considered rude. It's important, however, to differentiate between those who are trying to insult and those who may not have polished social skills. Additionally, I think it's important to remember that people may come from another culture so what is acceptable to ask in their culture is not acceptable in ours. Our response needs to vary depending on the situation. If a person is rude, we need to call them on it and set a boundary. In the other situations, I think we need to be careful not to be overly sensitive or think we are superior. We need to be kind, be compassionate, accept people and just answer their question graciously. Otherwise, people who may be technically right in their response, hurt the other person and make them feel bad and inferior. Good manners are not just a set of rules but are about loving other people even when they don't follow them. The Queen of England is famous for putting people at ease when they have made etiquette errors in her presence, going so far as to make the same error so they would not feel embarrassed. This is what good manners are about.
Yes, many people, me included, just didn't know that a certain question is rude. The "children question" always made me feel very uncomfortable, having to explain why I don't have children. But actually I did not consider the question being rude nor I judged the people (they were many) having asked. I think your comment is a beautiful addition to the video and it deserves receiving a little heart like all the other positive comments!!!
That is good to remember. I have always been more introverted and quiet but know I have asked some of these intrusive questions myself as a younger person due to immaturity and a lack of some social skills. As I matured I learned a lot by watching and listening to other people who I admired and by looking at my behaviors honestly. Some people don't know they are being rude and it's ok to let them know by setting a boundary in a kind but firm way. I love what you said about the Queen and will remember it.
Asking someone if their husband is the father of their children is, in my opinion, one of the rudest questions I could possibly think of having someone ask!
I Would love to have a husband.... but have never had....but have gotten five children....after being infertil ,for many years....so Im happy😁 So When people ask if I have a husband I answer : “ No I Can easily take Care of myself...and the kids “.....🤣
My husband works for our local sheriff's office and absolutely hates when people ask what he does. Inevitably they will tell a story about being pulled over, or when they think they have a friend who will help them if they get a ticket. He usually tells everyone he cuts grass.
Tell him thank you for his sacrifice and his service. Most people have no idea what people in law enforcement deal with. He should offer to bring them on a night shift on the weekend!
Priests, doctors and anyone with an expertise is asked for advice. I am a painter I was once asked if I would paint a picture of The Alamo, in purple , for a friend whose sofa was purple. I did...they paid.
My grandmother taught me over 50 years ago how to respond to a forward question. Look them straight in the eye & ask them "Why would you ask me that?" It stops them dead in their tracks. They are faced with the issue of explaining why they are so nosy & why they overstep boundaries. In the over 50 years I've used this it has worked 100% of the time. I have never been put in a corner feeling compelled to answer a question I didn't want to answer.
My grandmother used to respond to rudeness by asking, "Whatever possessed you to say that??" It always made the person (including me) feel instantly ashamed of their rudeness.
I have always taken the attitude that it is a profession/career if you treat it like one, regardless of how others treat you in that position. This applies to Home Management as well.
Instead of asking what someone does for a living, you can ask, “so how do you spend your time?”. This gives the other person the opportunity to share whatever they want about themself!
Unless of course they are a stay at home spouse and/or mother than asking it like that sounds rude because it puts the person on the defensive because they have to justify how they spend their time.
I really think that is a much MORE personal question. What you do (more often than not primarily for a paycheck) is not as intrusive into their personal life as "How do you spend your free time."
One of the down sides of watching you tube videos are the rude comments. It hurts my heart sometimes reading the comments. On the lighter side, years ago I found a humorous birthday card. On the front it said, I know it is rude to ask people how old they are. Then on the inside it said, Happy birthday, how much do you weigh? Jennifer, thanks for another lovely video.
My next door neighbors kid ( he is 8 ) asked me how old I was out of the blue. I told him that it was rude to ask a woman how old she was. I did not ask him " How old do you think I am". He just volunteered " I think you are between 70 and 100 " . I asked him how could come to such a number, number and he said " Because you have wrinkles". I am 62, 5' 9" weight 145. I take good care of my skin and don't have " Wrinkles". Yes I look my age, everyone does. They really do.
People would comment when they saw me out with our four children saying “wow, your hands sure are full!” I’d always respond, “yes, and so is my happy heart!”
A child once asked me who my favourite Disney princess is and I was soo excited somebody asked me that lol I much prefer the kind of conversations children have. They don’t talk about work lol
The “when are you going to have children” question has always bothered me. Not a lot of people know that due to medical reasons I have never been able to conceive. Learning that when my husband and I began trying to get pregnant was very devastating for me. Each time someone would ask me that question, it just broke my heart all over again.
That’s really sad. Sorry to hear that. People can be so mean without even realising it sometimes.. it’s such an intrusive question but people tend to use it so commonly.
I am so sorry. I think I would teach a lesson by honestly answering, “I cannot have children, and it breaks my heart to talk about it” Perhaps they will think before asking someone else that question.
I honestly didn't know that asking " What type of work do you do?" was rude. I thought it was an ice breaker but I can understand why some would think it rude. I just really enjoy hearing about others lives, now I know to be more thoughtful.
I think you are a unique human being for having the graciousness to own up to your lack of understanding. This is so rare to have the courage to admit this. You are probably very happy in your work and did not realize that 70percent of the working population is unhappy in their work.
It is rude to ask that. What do you DOOO. . . ?Instant shutdown for me. That question out of the gate is rude and offensive because it seeks to define and narrow down the person being asked by status or definition of what they are, not who they are.
@@bathemeinchampagne That has not been my intention for asking anyone “what do you do for a living”. After reading comments here does cause me to consider choosing my words differently for sure. It seems to me that it can also be the responder possibly being on the defense. I work in a school cafeteria - I am quite happy with what I do and if someone else judges me for that 🤷🏻♀️, not my issue. Take me as I am because I am not changing my job of choice to please others. I do however have a desire to be conscientious of my communication with others and find kind responses and even an explanation about how questions like this can come across rude, which can possibility bring/give understanding. But then again, some simply do not care and are rude. Everyone’s background is different for a multitude of reasons and unfortunately so many hurt individuals on many levels. I Personally desire to learn about others and want to be uplifting & positive as well as encouraging but also learn about and from others.
I have 'why are you so skinny?' My daughter has even been asked in front of me, 'Why is your mum so skinny?' No one would ever ask 'why are you so fat?'. I wonder why they think it's OK the other way around?
My sister was asked this all the time until about age 30. It made her so mad bc no, you wouldn’t ask someone why they are so fat. A teacher in middle school questioned her friend to see if she were anorexic. That may have been a legitimate concern back in the 80s/90s, but it infuriated my sister. She is built like the women on my father’s side, and they were long legged and thin.
As to how to respond, you mentioned being classy and elegant in your response to rude questions. I wanted to add that along with that you need to show grace, because after all, most of the time the person isn’t asking to be rude on purpose. None of us is perfect, and I’m sure I have been guilty of asking a rude question, or two. Being kind in your response always pays off. ❤️😊
Well said. If I sincerely asked an ignorant question and got a clipped answer, I would feel horrified and probably not pursue that person since the vibe I'd feel would be one of rejection.
Sometimes no words are needed; a hard stare does the trick or just leave. I don’t waste my breath on rude people. It’s up to them to get educated, not up to me to educate them - especially adults!
When I had a new baby and stopped working to be a stay at home mom I was asked, “ What in the world do you do all day?” And told, “ I’d go crazy staying home all day!” 🙄
The really bad thing about answering that question is because the reply can sound judging and confrontational. “Obviously I have a better imagination than you because I’m busy all day”, “I cook quality meals for my family that you obviously don’t do”, “I take care of my home in a superior way that obviously you don’t do”, “I take care of my own child instead of paying someone else to do it”. During the times that I didn’t work everything was better. Cleaner house, better meals, better health and weight, better sex, better off-time and fun time in general, better spiritual place in my Christianity, better friendships, better family member to my parents, siblings, etc. Everything was better and actually made us less frustrated with having less money. But circumstances change. Worked 40+ hours weekly in a salon for years. Now I’m a full-time student in a rigorous program. Very different season of life.
I was a stay at home Mum till my daughter went to school, I had these remarks (usually off total strangers or health visitors) and was told how it was not good for me to stay at home and I needed to get out and do work for myself. Because bringing up your own child is not doing something for yourself unlike working for the big companies or what not. I did go back to work last year in Winter only to be told I had to stay home and look after the NHS, I mean make your mind up world.
It’s amazing how many people say this to moms! Definitely my least favorite question to get and feels very condescending, like it isn’t enough and it isn’t noteworthy or fulfilling in any way. It’s my dream job!
I always thought that etiquette was snobby and all about cutlery but it turns out that it’s the opposite of snobby! This is so helpful for people who aren’t very confident and want to learn social skills x
When our son was young, someone suggested that I wasn’t contributing to the household because I wasn’t working. She then went on to tell me how she worked, paid for the babysitter herself, cooked, cleaned, ironed his shirts, paid for her half of the mortgage and bills. I asked her how she made such a bad deal; she never mentioned it again.
This is helpful to me, I’m embarrassed to admit. I’ve asked questions about job, country of origin, etc. Thank you for this vid. I’m going to watch it several times to truly learn from it. I’m in my 70’s and so sorry if I’ve offended others.
Don't feel bad--I have asked people about their work as well. I had no idea it was rude or offensive and feel bad now! I was just trying to be nice--I always find it interesting how diverse our jobs can be.
Awesome!!! My parents are 78 and 88. I’m very aware of how things were different for them. They’ve made some changes but it’s hard! I do know that they always mean well but I did have to tell them to quit commenting on my children’s weight!!!! Not appropriate at all. They did that to me growing up and it’s NOT helpful or appreciated!!
It sounds to me like you're a person with a lively mind who takes a sincere interest in others. . .NOT someone who is rude & thoughtless! Let's face it, not everyone is a fluent conversationalist, so unless you want to babble on & on meaninglessly about random topics --- or worse, about yourself! --- you sometimes have to be a bit of an interviewer! 😉
When I was a young mother of 3, I was in the mall, walking with my two toddlers and pushing my baby son in a stroller. A complete stranger said "JEEZE, have enough kids?" I smiled and said, "In fact, I left the 3 older kids at home." I tend towards the sassy answer, as you can tell.
This happened to me and I was so sad. I knew I was overweight and my belly was looking like I was 6 moths pregnant. I mean I look at myself in the mirror I know I am overweight and what I look like why would someone even ask me How my pregnancy is going when I am not pregnant. I felt shame and guilt it was so embarrassing that it happened in front of my mother in law who is constantly giving me diet tips. Anyway its not nice. My reaction was i stood there with a blank stare and said ...I am not pregnant...and i looked horrified I am sure. Her response was she smiled and said oh no I. Yeah that was her response not an I am sorry or try to make it better no just an awful look on her face not knowing how to respond.
When my husband and I lived on sailboat in Marin County (one of the wealthiest counties in the U.S.), we went to a bbq thrown by my co-worker. Her brother found out we had a boat and we were having a lovely conversation until he asked where we lived. He stopped speaking to us for the rest of night once he found out we actually lived on a boat and were not wealthy yachtsman like himself. We laugh about it now, but at the time, we were shocked by the blatant snobbery of the whole situation.
@@omidee2926, yes! Here in south Louisiana, Cajuns speak this way all the time. Depending on each person’s personalities, it can be lightened with a smile and a wink, or said with continued direct eye-contact followed with silence for an “eye-for-an-eye” effect.
@@dorisstouder2029, you are correct. Mostly, a wink and a smile go a long way toward showing personal self-esteem, and showing assertiveness as well. The real winner is the person working on getting healthier. No one can hurt a person’s feelings without that person’s permission. Another humorous Cajun response is a smiling “Thank you for pointing that out. I’m sure you feel much better.” Follow that up with a blank face. If the other person persists with a retort, it would be wise to respond by telling them “No one knows that better than “me”, and I am working on that goal.”
The interesting thing about introverts is that we have bursts of energy with people we are more comfortable with which makes people, assume we are "fake" Nope just uncomfortable(with you). Took me all my life thus far to get to this point of understanding and not blame myself so much anymore.
Good point. We know who accepts us and that safety allows us to open and be ourselves..introverts can be bubbly funny and chatty just in different settings.
@@SpecialgiftsLA In case you are a woman, have you found that the same applies to your femininity. For example, if a man makes you feel comfortable, you naturally become "more feminine", ie: higher-pitched voice, softer movements etc? I ask because that happens to me. Especially if he has an accent. :)
@@amourtoujours779 Yes..Maybe the right people allow us to express our whole selves..the best in us. Femininity..yes..personally for me.It blossoms when you I feel safe and comfortable. And had become dimmed hidden if not. It is a great sign to listen to.
The rudest (and frankly strangest??) question I have been asked is "Do you ever hear from your ex-husband?" I find this particularly odd because I have been divorced for 30 years. I have been happily remarried for 24 years. Why would I be in contact with my ex-husband?? I have learned to respond to this and other rude questions with a statement that begins with "I've discovered..." So now I respond to the ex-spouse question with "I've discovered over the years that people rarely wish to discuss their ex-spouses. I think it has to do with respecting one another's privacy. Do you agree?" That shuts it down quickly and gives a low-key etiquette lesson to the questioner.
What’s great about setting boundaries is that it helps you discern who’s capable of respecting you and who isn’t. A person who apologizes and moves on is capable. A person who gets defensive, argues, demands an answer they’re not entitled to, or punishes you by gossiping about you to others is not mature enough to respect you.
So true. Even if that person is less private and doesn't understand how the question is rude, if she just thinks "oh, that's this person's quirk and so I won't talk about this topic, that's okay." she's going to be good friend material.
As a single person I constantly get asked “why don’t you have a boyfriend” and when I do they constantly ask “when are y’all getting married” 🙄 can’t I just be single and enjoy my life?
Katie......here is the perfect reply to that. Marriage is an institution and I'm much too young & way too wonderful to be in an institution. Sit back & watch their SHOCKED response! They will choke..guaranteed & look like a fool to boot!! LOL
“Are you going to try again for a girl?” In front of my boys. First off, I’m perfectly happy as a boy mom. Second, how dare someone suggest that my two boys aren’t perfectly good enough. I usually just say, “I have two wonderful children, and I’m happy with that.”
"So what do you do?" and responding, "Oh" then silence when you tell them. I was a mother at home, homeschooling some of the time and involved in children's activities and my husband always valued my homemaking, but my mother regarded me with contempt for "not having a proper job" and for doing housework and teaching our children to run a home, cook, babycare, etc as she considered housework beneath her. She gave me a poem called Dust if you Must, and told me that all I'll have achieved by the end of my life is a clean house. But we had fun with our children and don't regret having lived on one salary all those years. I thank God for my husband's support and he is thankful for mine.
Years ago while waiting in line at a pharmacy, a woman looked at my son and said, “He’s cute, what is he?” I responded, “He’s a boy.” Some people in line applauded. Sarcasm rules.
@@jelenad6367 she was inquiring about his nationality. Italian boys get very dark in the summer at the NJ shore. I supposed I could’ve explained that part. Sorry about that.
So many questions people ask these days are meant to get to know people better, ugh... it can be so hard cause you don’t want to shut down well intentioned people. Going back to work after Covid I feel like their will be so many negative conversations and complaining in the office, so I’ve decided to ask people “so what’s been a bright spot in your life?” People often want to talk about their grandkids, their achievements and their passion projects (music, traveling, creative endeavors)
I have gotten the comment, "Why are you so quiet?" so many times throughout my life! And I hate it! I even remember people saying that to me when I was a child. I have felt many times that our society values loud, talkative people more.
I'm quiet too, and the hardest experience for me was when I met my future mother-in-law. I saw her once a month or so during those early dating days, and she would tell me every time to "just be yourself - we want to get to know you!" Well, "myself" was quiet, but apparently a quiet self isn't an acceptable self or isn't a "self" at all? I was 18 years old when I met her, and after 4 or 5 of these encounters I started feeling really paranoid around her and like I wasn't OK as a person.
@@hmeyer827 people who say this act like you’re withholding something they have a right to, when it is a privilege for you to speak to them. Feeling paranoid is a normal response to this situation where someone is trying to pressure you to talk more than you want to. Kind of like being at a police interrogation.
Another rude question is "What are you doing (date/time)?" Rather than just directly asking something like, "Would you like to (activity/request) on (date/time)?" The 1st rudely pins the person down to feel like they have to explain & divulge their personal plans, & then can't say no if the inviter wouldn't think their plans are a good enough excuse to turn down the invitation/request.
I don't find this rude from my husband or our children because I plant things out, but I certainly find it rude when my grandmother, who's not eating whatever I'm making anyway
@@TheDailyConnoisseur - I'm about 90% sure I'd just say it, just as sweetly as my deep-southern grandparents taught me. Or this - "I'm not sur, but I get the feeling the test tube was shaken, not stirred."
Thank you for calling out the "What do you do for a living?" question. I always thought this was such a lazy thing to ask someone. Asking them about their hobbies, recent trip or fun experience, even their favorite movie or book is far more interesting!
I am Hispanic and a lot of people have asked me: Where are you from? To which I always respond with a big smile: I'm from Heaven! Hahaha! They are so perplexed!
There was a time when you were able to ask that question, esp. if you have an accent as I did years ago and I was proud to say where I was from. It often opened conversation, geographically, culturally. How times have changed, sadly.
I have a good friend that is very noisy to me and others, she terms it as curious . She wanted to know what our income is so I turned the tables on her and said " How much do you make? She became indignant and said " THAT'S PERSONAL!!!" I replied then don't you think my income is personal to me ?" She responded " I was just curious ." SMH
I was attending physical therapy for my back pain, and from time to time engaged in conversation with a woman during the weeks I was going to PT (as our sessions were overlapping, so we found ourselves on the exercise bikes together, etc.). We chatted only a little but then she asks "Do you have kids?" Well, not a terribly rude question compared to some other questions, and actually it is a common question to hear, but really it would be better if those questions were not asked. Many people love to talk about their children and usually soon enough they do but it is better to wait for that opportunity for the parent to bring up their kids rather than ask "Do you have kids?" You never know if the person you are asking is grieving from a lost child, infertility, a miscarriage, a broken marriage, etc.
I am the queen of inappropriate questions so you and other etiquette experts are helping me a great deal. I think that part of my problem is that I rarely get offended by people’s questions so my gauge in identifying rudeness is off. Because I have many children, I have been asked many, many times “don’t you know what causes that?” I always respond by saying “I am truly abundantly Blessed”. At that point people talk about what a Blessing children are or they move on to a different subject. Personally, I would not be offended by that question or many of the questions you mentioned. But, I appreciate that other people are so thank you for growing my awareness.
Love thIs. I so agree. I believe a big part of being classy is being forgiving and at times acting like a wet duck when it comes to peoples mistakes. I can guarantee that people who ask awkward questions will answer awkward questions without a shadow of awkwardness. That’s kind of what I do when faced with a person with broader boundaries then my comfort zone. I think they are great exercise for forgiving. Otherwise it would be a sterile world :-)
I agree, I am not offended when people ask me those questions either. I think people should be more positive and assume the best of people, and not be so easily offended. It would make life easier for them, and also the people who are around them...
@@sandrabart5924 They are implying that the person who continues to get pregnant must not know how babies are made. I think people are just joking around and trying to have fun with them, but some people apparently are getting offended by it.
Speaking of rude. This wasn't addressed here, but maybe it was in another video. *When you are pregnant, why do people feel they have the right to touch your belly?
I have never done that to a stranger but maybe it's because people want to be close to the most beautiful thing in the world and show you your baby hello in there.
Same situation here! 👋If people ask if we have kids I just respond "Not yet" and they usually drop the subject. Also, even if a couple has one child it doesn't mean they aren't experiencing secondary infertility, so no need to ask people if they're going to give their child a sibling.
Oof same. Although I’m open about my struggles with others and personally don’t get offended by the question. But looking back I’ve made a fool of myself a few times.
Yes, I often got questions about when I was giving my son a sibling. I used to shy away from answering. And then I eventually started answering with “it was a long hard road to have him and we are grateful for him”. That usually got the point across. It is such a deeply personal question and can be so hurtful. I’m sorry if you have experienced that hurt too.
Oh yes the old why don't you have a TV question. I get that all the time also. And I say I don't need a TV. I can get all the good and bad news I want on my iPad. And I laugh. That's kind of my way of telling them to cool it.
One of the rudest questions I was asked last year was after someone learned that I homeschooled our children. She asked “Do you think you’re qualified to teach your kids?”
It is so rude, and goes hand in hand with, “Areyou going to homeschool through high school?” I always say, “Well I’ve gone through college so I think I can stay at least one day ahead of my kids.”
I think that if people spend more time on their own business and not the business of others they will be more content with their life. Contentment brings peace. This would make us all better.
One response I’ve learned over the years when I’ve been asked something I feel is too personal to answer or just not appropriate is to reply back with, “ Why do you ask?” That always works without any rudeness.
“Have you lost weight?” I do not want to talk about my weight with most people, and if I do, I’ll bring it up. There’s no good way to talk about someone’s weight.
Oh my goodness, yes! I got this from aunties and grandmas as a teen and it made me incredibly self-conscious...All I could think was, "Why, how fat was I before?" I was at a perfectly healthy weight then, and always thought I was fat.
Can you reply, "No, but have you gained weight?" I also hate, "How do you stay so slim?" (I know it's meant as a compliment, but it puts me on the spot.) Because I'd NEVER ask anyone, 'How did you get so fat?'"!!
My husband has three college degrees and is working on his doctorate. I didn’t go to college and on top of that I am a housewife without children. You can imagine the funny comments and rude questions that I have received over the past eleven years. When one asks what college I attended I love telling people ” I was so smart I didn’t need to go to college “and then I give a friendly wink 😉. That usually works well and people give a nice smile and proceed to ask what hobbies I enjoy. Be fun and easygoing with others and most of the time they will show you the same respect.😎
I had a friend who would respond to the “When are you having children” question with “ It isn’t that we don’t like children, we just eat them for breakfast”. It is so comical to see the reactions. She did end up having two and didn’t eat them!
My daughter is Asian/Caucasian and is constantly asked if she is adopted. We never really get offended but it is presumptuous of people. And very common. She also gets the "what are you mixed with?" variations of questions too. Usually followed by comments on how beautiful she is. So I know people mean well, they are simply curious. It's not meant negatively. Lately, the rudest questions we encounter is concerning our families vaccination status. I really wish people would stop overstepping this boundary. Medical decisions should not be a topic of public discussion. It's a private and personal, individual decision.
Sorry to hear your daughter sometimes receives questions like that. Thank you for sharing the medical status point. My family and I have experienced this a lot lately and it is extremely uncomfortable.
My pastor and his wife are white and they are foster parents and have often gotten children of other races. They said people in public always ask “where did you get that baby” meaning they think it’s adopted from Africa or something when really it’s a baby from our own town that someone didn’t want.
I do have to ask if people are vaccinated before I accept invitations or spend quality time with them. I have several friends who have cancer. I can't afford to take chances, even though I'm vaccinated. I hope you will show a bit of grace to people who need to know. It isn't a judgement of your choice, but the choice to not vaccinate affects others.
When asked “when are you due?” my SIL responded with a laugh, “oh I’m not pregnant, just way behind on my crunches!” I think that’s a classy response and it’s always a good idea to lighten the situation with humor.
As a child I remember my mother being asked, "How old are you?" by a virtual stranger. She did reply, adding 10 years to her age, at which the woman replied, "You look so young for your age!" I asked Mum why she had answered that way and she told me that it was extremely rude to ask a woman her age,especially a stranger. I learnt early about questions that shouldn't be asked.
I had a woman insist that I couldn’t know something because of my age. I told her I’m pushing 40 and a historian so I was qualified to know whatever I wanted.
@@lindafusek3794 Good response...lets the questioner know that you don't want to answer, with a little humor. I am going to use "Old enough to get the Senior's Discount" ( I am in my 80's, and dislike ageist behaviors).
Great answer. I actually had someone ask me that in high school, so there you have it, the mentality of the person who asked you this really isn't very impressive.
After 17 years of marriage, 45 years old, and no plan for kids ever, I get those "are you going to have kids" questions less and less. If I do, I say "factory is closed for business" 🤣
When I had four young kids of my own and took in my brother's two young children after he passed, I was often asked IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN many rude questions. I developed some standard responses. To "Wow, your hands are full" I responded, "Actually it is my heart that is full--I LOVE these kjds!" To "Don't you know what causes that?" I would respond, "Yes! We have such awesome kids, we are happy to have more awesome kids!" I would always follow it by smiling at my children. Not only was it a good lesson for the asker, but made my children feel wanted, instead of a burden.
The rudest question people ask when they find out that I don’t work is: Well, what do you do all day? To which I respond, Whatever ever I feel like that day. 😂 If they they push for an answer I will say that my life is not their business. 🤷🏼♀️ But the message is that you can’t be useful or productive if you don’t get paid for services rendered. 🙄
How about “ I am master of my own and my family’s destiny instead of being a slave of someone else’s desk” ! When I have been asked this, sometimes I have said “ oh I don’t do anything but eat chocolates and watch Oprah all day....”
I worked with someone that when she decided to retire and someone asked her “What are you going to do with yourself?” , her answer was “Why do I have to do anything?” I love that! My favorite response ever!!!
@@pattyg.4872 I remember someone asking an 80 year old friend how long he'd been retired. He said 20 years. The first many said, "Wow! What do you do with all your time?" When the 80 year old stopped laughing, he said, "I'm so busy that I wonder how I ever found time to work."
I helped my husband run our own construction business for 30 years. I answered the phone, did the bookkeeping and also helped on the job sites. To some people I just worked at home, like I didn't have a job.
Oh my goodness! You are my kindred spirit, I currently work with my spouse at our Automotive Repair facility and get told many times that I am the "help". That wasn't the worse. The rudest is when women would come to the shop and actually flirt with my husband right in front of me ( I am 10 years younger). When my husband would blush and say this is my wife, the response would be "does she even know how to take care of you". Yes, ma'am I do! We have been together for 25 years. I think I've taken care of him long enough to prove.
I just straight up tell them " I can't believe you asked me that". I've had alot of people ask me how much money I get? And that's when I straight up say " I can't believe you asked me that.
Rudest question I have EVER been asked was when I quit my job right before I got married and before I had a chance to say anything when I told my boss I needed to speak with him about something he said "what, are you pregnant or something?". I was absolutely livid.
When people ask my husband and I when we are going to have kids/how is it coming along, after two miscarriages and longing for children my response is, "It's all in God's hands" because it's the truth and so far it has been a good response
I’m so sorry. That is so hard. I would often receive the comment (in a “joking” but rude way), “boy, your hands are full” when I was out and about with our three young children. This was a painful comment for me, because between our first and second children, we lost twin baby girls and then had an early miscarriage. I would politely and as cheerfully as possible reply, “Better than empty!” Helena, I pray you receive your heart’s desire of children!
My male friend who was a model, when asked what he does for a living, used to answer, "Im in marketing." If further inquiries...he would say, "Print and media." He never said, "I am Ford Agency's male model of the year." It attracted the wrong people as hangers on. Just as my baseball playing friends say, "I work in sports."
One day one of our sons was asked, "Who is that old lady you were with yesterday?" He was stunned! "My mom." Yep, I'm as old as the grandparents of many of the friends of our youngest boys. When we lived in Virginia we were often asked about our "large" family of five children. After we moved to Utah no one even noticed. We've moved about 12 times over our 33 year marriage and when we've applied for mortgages the question I'm asked is some variation of "Do you work?" I answered "I work, but I don't earn any income." Some got it and others had to have it explained to them. I think some "rude" questions come from a place of curiosity or wanting to establish a connection. Some come from incredulity that anyone would chose to live differently than the questioner. Kindness and grace go a long way in teaching others about the propriety of asking certain questions. Last tidbit, once I was sitting in church waiting for an evening service to begin. A black family sat behind us and their toddler reached up and began stroking my hair. She'd probably never seen long, smooth naturally red hair like mine. The other family members were embarrassed and pulled her away, but I turned around and encouraged the little girl to feel my hair and satisfy her curiosity. She was so sweet and I didn't want to discourage her. (Anyone older than a toddler might think about asking permission before touching.)
I have a mole on my back the size of a pea. I was in a health club and knelt down at my locker; and a little girl came up to me and very gently touched my mole. I thought it was very sweet. At least she didn’t tell me I should have it surgically removed!
+ The Rozylass: in the context of applying for a mortgage of course they will ask if and what income you have, so "I am a stay at home wife or mother" will be accepted in a matter of fact manner. They just have to KNOW because it influences the probability of a family being able to pay the mortgage (if one person loses their job, gets sick etc).
As a Latter-day Saint, there have been two rude questions. This was when I was much younger (I'm retired) and I find younger members are not asked these questions much anymore. To single people, especially men: Why aren't you married yet? To married people: Why do you not have kids yet? My motto over the years has been, "assume good intent. It will allow grace to the unintentionally rude and disconcert the intentionally rude."
“Why aren’t you married / why are you still single?” I’d like to have a better reply to that than my awkward “just haven’t met the right fella yet I guess” or tetchy “because I was asked that on a first date”
An old gentleman once said that I was "blooming" and when was I due? I was 56 at the time, and so I replied I'm not pregnant but I will take that as a compliment that you thought I was still young enough to be childbearing age! I did myself ask someone when they were due 25 years ago, when they weren't pregnant and never ever made the same mistake again!
The biggest struggle I have when being asked a rude question is that my natural tendency, almost like a reflex is to put people at ease even if I’m not comfortable. I had twins and got a lot of uncomfortable questions about why I was so big, or comments about how “effective my husband was” that was really off putting. I also struggle with the question of what I do for a living, I am a homemaker and care for our four children at home. Even when people are generous about this, and say things like “that is the hardest job out there,” or “I don’t know how you do that” I never really know how to respond. It feels like people want to assure me that my job is important, I know my job is important, we don’t have to tell doctors or lawyers their job is important, why do we have to tell moms? It feels strange to me.
I would tell doctors and lawyers their job is hard and important 🤔 I think people say these things because they have compassion to how hard it is to be a mom, but I may be wrong. It probably depends on where their heart is !
They are acknowledging your hard work. Take it and run with it! More than likely they have raised kids themselves and know that taking care of the home and kids is harder than most jobs...
When I was expecting my twins (45 years ago) a stranger spoke to our 18 month old and asked her if we were going to have a little brother or sister, and when my husband said maybe both, she then said disdainfully, WELL, YOUNG MAN, THERE ARE WAYS! Was she implying a single sibling was ok but one of the twins should have been aborted?????
I have a career outside the home and people actually do stop and tell me my job is important. I think people do this for female dominate work in general because they know we are under paid and under valued.
Excellent! I’ve been asked at least 4 of those questions. Recently a new acquaintance asked “what do you do?” I considered it a compliment considering I’m 79 years old.
I never thought asking about their line of work could be rude. I’ve asked this question since I was a kid. It’s always intrigued me about the wide variety of making a living.
With so many people unemployed, it can provoke anxiety. Best to wait for people to bring it into the conversation than to blunder into something about which you may regret having asked.
I was always asked: "Why are you so tall?" I never knew how to respond when I was young, but it made me feel like something was wrong with me. Now that I am older, I say that I am descended from a long line of beautiful, courageous Viking women!" Steers the conversation in some quite interesting directions.
Oops, I meant to say, they asked, "What are you, a giraffe?" I realized at some point that it was their own insecurity speaking, because they knew they never had a chance with me, no matter their height.
Someone asked me when was I due , but I responded, "I am not pregnant, just FAT, but thank you for noticing..." hahahahahaa I was teasing and it made light of the situation..
My husband and I miscarried a baby at a time when 7 other women in our church were pregnant. While attending one of their baby showers, an older woman asked me when we were going to “follow suit with the rest of the group?” She also gave some beauty tips on how to make it more appealing to my husband. It took patience for me to simply respond “Oh, thank you for the concern.” I came up with a reason to leave the event fairly quickly. I now can see that she was attempting to be helpful even if it was in a very rude way.
That is horrifying. The original comment is so painful, especially in that situation, but then to assume that the issue is that you weren't attractive to your husband (!!!!) and give you advice. My goodness! I am so sorry that happened to you ❤️
RE: "why are you so quiet?" It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. Said with a wink and a smile, of course
Several times when I've been asked the "what do I do?" question (homemaker), I will get the follow up "will you get a real job when your kids are grown?"
Yes, I got that question from someone the first time I met her. One of my children has special needs and it is likely I will never return to work whether I want to or not. I just answered, "I don't know."
Noooooo, oh, no! A "real" job? People are just plain rude. I am in a 20+ years relationship and childfree, and people have asked me, "Why?" Do you hate kids? Aren't you afraid he'll run off with a woman who will give him children?" CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
@@Erin_29 I have a friend in her mid-40s, married for at least 15 years, no children, and a homemaker. People always ask her what she does all day. "Why don't you get a job?" "Don't you get bored doing nothing?" OMG, why are people so rude?
@@irairod5160 I am old enough to remember when the questions would be the opposite. You're married; why are you working outside the home? Can't your husband support you?
Asking where people have traveled often makes people who don’t travel/vacation often uncomfortable. I’ve learned this the hard way as we travel and others often get defensive and say they don’t have much money to travel as we do. Honestly, just be polite and have good intentions. Don’t make assumptions and be a good human.
Completely true. I have wanted to travel and have very little in comparison to so many people I have know because my husband and I didn’t have the money. Still don’t actually. We have more than the past but still don’t have the money or vacation time to do what we would like. Interestingly enough I feel like people can turn not wanting to travel into something that is kind of superior too. They can insinuate that their lives, etc are so wonderful they have no interest going elsewhere.
Yes. I thought of it too! Many people can’t afford it so it’s presumptuous to ask... but then again...nobody’s perfect ! Even our wonderful Jennifer ! 🌺
@@bananaanna1373 What surprised me was learning from someone I met at a party that many members of Congress have not traveled abroad, except for military service. I guess I had never considered that people who could afford to travel would choose not to, especially those who may have to vote on issues of foreign policy. I don't think I would ask someone I had just met about their travel experience unless I knew that they had the time and the means to do so.
Thanks for these excellent replies! I’d like to add another rude thing people ask or more often say...it’s when someone tells you to “smile”. I find it so annoying. You’re enjoying yourself in a social setting and at a moment when you’re not engaged in conversation with anyone, you haven’t just heard a joke, you’re just maybe about to get a cracker and cheese and some random guy pops up with his demand for you to smile. It just makes you concerned that you have sour grapes face or something! In actuality, they’re just trying to talk to you, but it’s such an off putting, manipulative ice breaker! I’d love to hear your advice on how to respond when that happens.
I would love to know... what is the rudest question you have ever received and how did you respond to it? Were you happy with your response or do you wish you had handled it differently? I look forward to reading your comments. As always, thank you for watching. Love, Jennifer
For me the worst and most painful question (when I was younger) was When are you going to have children? or Why don't you have children? or something like that. I am in my 70's and don't have children - not by choice.
For me it is “why do you even exist?” And “why are you so ugly?”
Oh I responded in the main section. :/
I have a lot of siblings, and when I was a kid people would ask me things like, ”Are your parents going to have more kids?” And then follow up with, ”How do you feel about your parents having more kids?” All these questions and similar ones made me so uncomfortable growing up.
Someone asked me if all my children had the same father? The answer of course is yes. I feel like they asked because my middle son is blonde with blue eyes and my other two have dark features. But I was taken aback by that. Their father is blonde with blue eyes but he shaves his head and has a darker brown beard. I have dark hair and eyes. It was so odd lol
Years ago, Ann Landers offered a wonderful response for virtually any rude or unwanted question: smile and say, “I can’t imagine why that would interest you.”
Love that!!!!
Yes but the ones with no social awareness would actually elaborate.. trust me I’ve met them!
@@Red_1976 Yes, they'll pretend they're concerned for our well-being, that's why they asked it.
Jen Jen, you are a hoot with your “no social awareness”! The trick is to reply and pivot away. Or smile and say nothing to the socially unaware response, if you have the stones LOL.
A lot of things interest me, that's why I asked. 😄
It always bothered me when people found out I was a stay at home mom, they assumed I didn't do anything. Staying at home with kids is the most important, and most difficult job there is! No coffee or lunch breaks, no raises or awards for performance. But we are nurturing the next generation! Our culture seems to only approve of jobs that make lots of money. It is so sad.
Standards for childrearing and homemaking vary from person to person. If you put a lot of effort into training and educating your children as well as cleaning and organizing your home, you will be much busier than the average person would realize.
Most important job ever!!!
Exactly!
Its a worldwide issue.
Aaaaggghh I hate that too. People also assume that being at home means you have time to help them with whatever project they have in mind, run clubs, etc. etc. etc. "But what do you DO all day?" has to be up there on the top ten rude questions list...
"What are you mixed with?" "Sugar, spice and everything nice."
I though of the same nursery rhyme.
😂😂😂
Bravo!
Aw man I hate being asked this question I feel you!
Klingon and Borg.
When my ship returns your species will be assimilated or processed for consumption!
I remembered my elegant mother responding to an intrusive question with the reply “I am so surprised you asked that question.” And then she just smiled at the questioner.
Oh that's so good!
Love that!
I’m going to borrow that one if you don’t mind!
Perfect
I love that!
Someone very wise said “I’ll forgive you for asking if you’ll forgive me for not answering. “ (Baby question) 👏👏👏
I love this response
I love it too!
Good one!!👌
I love this one and will remember it for when I might need it:))
I believe that was Dear Abby, the advice columnist. Brilliant retort.
My daughter and her husband, who were devoted to their careers, had their son later in life and decided to stop at one. He was quite a rambunctious toddler and they were super tolerant of his antics. When people would ask when she was going to have a second child, she'd reply, "We're still trying to decide if we're going to keep the one we have!"
😂😂😂
😊
That is a great comeback 😂
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
🤣
Not so much a question, but a comment. “You look tired.” No matter how tired someone looks, please never tell them you think so.
I’ve been told I look tired many times when I felt fine. At some point I realized that people made this comment when I wore black close to my face
My mother in law has told me a few times that I look “tired”. One time was shortly after having my son. I probably did look tired but sometimes she says whatever comes to her mind 😂🙈. I try not to let it get to me and just smile.
thank you for the reminder. i make this mistake with friends, out of concern, and this is a helpful tip.
I've had this happen too. So rude!
@@GemsOfGrace ahhh yes...I have that kind of mom in law. I've been told my hair is "too big" and the rash on my chin will spoil my wedding photos. :) lovely
My husband gave me great advice when someone asks either a rude or personal question: you respond by saying, “why do you ask”? This way you turn the tables toward them. 😉
Love that idea for response! 👌
PERFECT!
Why is always a good question.
Genius!
i feel like spinning the question back onto them is a butt thing to do in most cases. might as well just answer the question at that point if you're going to spend your breath.
Rude question asker: What do you do for a living?
Me: As little as possible.
😆
Is this "rude" per se, or just unimaginative? Years ago, when I was job hunting, I would tell people that when they asked this question. Big mistake! They would just go down the rabbit hole with you. ("What kind of job are you looking for? Maybe I know someone....") Sometimes, you just want to talk about anything but.
😂😂😂
A whole lot of nothing
I love these answers!
“What do you do for a living?”
“I’m a princess.” 🤣
Mermaid would be a good reply too!
@@5781nashmiller 😂😂😂
Love this!!!!
I got asked a lot when I left my career to raise and homeschool my 3 kids. I created a rather lofty mantra to reply with and before I knew it other home schooling moms were using it. One even printed business cards with it. I LOVED ♥️♥️♥️ it. It ended with "What do you do, dearie?" Perhaps not as elegant and Jennifer would be and a little snarky, but it was never asked nicely. Snark for snark. 😳😳😳
I’m writing a book😜
If I get asked "why are you so quiet" I smile and say "I didn't want to interrupt you, dear". 😁
Haha best response!!
😂❤
This is perfect!
I love that! I’m an introvert and I’m quiet around people I don’t know very well. I will try to remember to use that response the next time someone asks me that question.
@@marimedgal at a party once, a loudmouth extrovert woman insultingly said "do you speak english? i insulted her back in german.
As a single woman, the one I really hate is, "why didn't you ever get married?". It's so loaded with judgment, at least that's my take. The implication being there's something wrong with you that you never married, not that it might be because you never met the right person or that you chose not to.
I feel that single people are not understood or appreciated for their contributions to our world/society. I have never ince been thanked for the taxes I've paid that have helped educate their children. Ok, sorry for the rant.
I just added this question as well! One is considered incomplete somehow...secretly, some people might be jealous of our freedom.
" I have myself to look after that takes up all my time, thank you!"
I tend to say: Nobody ever managed to catch me - and move on. When in Africa (the area where I was this was a socially accepted question) I'd say: I'm too expensive.
I'm *"successfully single"* myself -- and whenever I'm asked "Why aren't you married?" I reply "Just lucky, I guess!"
I know that women resent being asked; but it's loaded for a man, too, because it often implies, "Are you gay?" And SO MANY people think a man must be absolutely helpless without an efficient wife to "take care of" him. No, I'm self-sufficient thanks!
Although a lot of married men I've met would probably be eating spaghetti right out of the can if they weren't married. Some of them are so completely incompetent that it's shocking. And in some cultures, boys are RAISED to be helpless so they'll have to get married.
Not a rant, just the facts . Another rude question is why don't you have children. Or right after my brothers wife died some idiot asked him "Are you going to start dating again or get married again" ?
Steve Carson nothing is more attractive than a self sufficient man or woman. Hats off to you . I am thusly inclined towards independence/ self sufficientcy. It would have to take one heck of a good connection to be better than that. For me anyway.
A rude question I'm often asked: What's with the scars on your arm/leg/face/back etc? I just laugh and tell them "Carving a turkey is harder than it looks!" Might sound snarky, but WAY better than the real answer.
Bilge Gnome good one. Leg scar here ( Compound fracture of femur). . . " I got jawed by a great white in a surfing competition". I did used to surf in Cali but that isn't how the scar came about. Thanks for the laugh.
Trophy wounds.
Combat metals.
Souvenirs.
Etc
6/16/21.....Somebody asked about my walking GINGERLY after I had taken a bad fall a few days before .....
I smiled & answered AMAZING SEX ORGY LAST NIGHT.....
They left me alone after that!
my scars are all from cancer and everything associated with it. There is no shame in pain.
"Carving a turkey" 🦃🤣 Gnome, LOVE your response - I'll file that one away for future use! My go-to has always been just one word, tossed off blithely: "shrapnel". It always elicits a laugh and we move on. 🙄
"What do you do for a living?" 'I'm independently wealthy' is my go to. No one has dared follow-up.
Why? They should ask how you did it!
@@vtheb1299 they've never asked me how before. And I would probably answer, "Magic" with a smile, to really drive home the point that it's none of your damn business.
.....Similar to my own comment I made,....I still use the phrase I stated in my comment. ...if a man poses that query to me. 😉🙂
Yes!! ( they judge foodservers terribly)
Lol 😃😃
My rudest question was a brief statement, and it was poignant and very well-meaning, from someone who really cared. I was about 20, and telling a close older friend (50ish with 3 grown children) something about my family. My friend said, “You never even really had a mother.” My mother was mentally ill. When my friend said that, I was stunned. All I could think was how hard my mom tried to be a good mother, a good parent, how horrible the medications were, and the side effects, how little understanding she had in the community, and her family, and in her marriage, and how she still tried her absolute best to love me and raise me, and have a life, against such awful odds. Thanks, Mom. I think all your caring helped me to handle that sad moment, even if you just couldn’t keep up with life. So in a funny way, that rude statement highlighted everything I admired and loved about my mom.
When asked if I work (I don’t!), I say "No, I’m purely decorative!"
I'm going to use that! Thanks!
LOVE that response!! Brilliant. You're disarming them with humor.
Omg that’s hysterical!!! I’m decorative 😂
jajaja! yes, people ask me that sooo many times! They asume we are just scratching our belly.
I hate it when being a home maker means you don't work. It's hard work. It's just not paid.
I think one of the biggest take aways I have is to not be offended by people asking innocent questions. I personally don't think most of these questions are rude. I've had people ask me these and I simply respond firmly and confidentiality. "I am a wife and mother." No apologies, no hesitation. I've never had anyone dare try and talk down my answer when I make it clear that I'm not afraid of the question. Confidence is key. 😁
Good point!
That's awesome! I had someone suggesting jobs to me, even though he knew I was a homeschooling mother. I finally said, "I have a job already!". That felt good. 🙂
APPLAUSE!!!!
They are intrusive questions. Good for you, not getting offended, and for your confident response.
Totally agreed. you nailed it. Confidence and straight forward communication.
Women often get questions from men about why they are not smiling, as if we have to smile for them all the time!
YES!! 😡😡😡. Why do you think I should be smiling??!!
This is infuriating. It’s also infuriating the other way round.
I went back to school as an adult after some years as a SAHM. Being the people pleaser that I was, I had a tendency to smile a lot. I was in a hospital setting with some other students, doctors and nurses when this particular doctor who enjoyed being a trial to those he considered “lesser” than himself - basically anyone who wasn’t also a doctor.
One day he chose me as his target during a sort of “rounds” situation involving a group of other students and personnel. He turned, stared at me, and asked, “Why are you smiling?” Before I could stop myself, I retorted, “Just being useful and grinning like the village idiot to highlight your brilliance so there won’t be any doubt.”
He actually took a step back away from me, then said, “That was a surprisingly good answer to a very rude question. I apologize.” And we all just continued in as if it hadn’t happened. He was very respectful after that!
@@Lucinda_Jackson Damned if you do smile and damned if you don't!
@@312siren
Exactly!
@@Lucinda_Jackson Good for you!
I asked a state senator what projects he was excited about. He told me that noone had ever asked him what he is excited about - ever. He proceeded to tell me about his grandchildren, his boat, legislative issues, etc. and thanked me after the meal for such a nice conversation. People forget that our elected officials are constantly bombarded with the needs and wants of their constituents and sometimes they just need a nice relaxing lunch.
Love that!
That’s a wonderful conversational tip! I don’t know any senators but I think I can probably use that tip for most social conversations. Thank you!
@@halcyondays8945 I remember chatting with a co-worker's new girlfriend at an event and she asked "What do you like to do when you're not working.?" I thought that was a nice way to start a dialogue. Most people have a hobby or interest they enjoy talking about, and since it's an open-ended question it doesn't force the recipient to reveal any more than they want to.
That is so true. I once worked in politics and you get a lot of angry demands and not that much human kindness.
So great. Thank you for sharing.
There are times when people say things that can be considered rude. It's important, however, to differentiate between those who are trying to insult and those who may not have polished social skills. Additionally, I think it's important to remember that people may come from another culture so what is acceptable to ask in their culture is not acceptable in ours. Our response needs to vary depending on the situation. If a person is rude, we need to call them on it and set a boundary. In the other situations, I think we need to be careful not to be overly sensitive or think we are superior. We need to be kind, be compassionate, accept people and just answer their question graciously. Otherwise, people who may be technically right in their response, hurt the other person and make them feel bad and inferior. Good manners are not just a set of rules but are about loving other people even when they don't follow them. The Queen of England is famous for putting people at ease when they have made etiquette errors in her presence, going so far as to make the same error so they would not feel embarrassed. This is what good manners are about.
Yes! I totally agree. Well said.
Yes, many people, me included, just didn't know that a certain question is rude. The "children question" always made me feel very uncomfortable, having to explain why I don't have children. But actually I did not consider the question being rude nor I judged the people (they were many) having asked. I think your comment is a beautiful addition to the video and it deserves receiving a little heart like all the other positive comments!!!
Very true! Good manners means putting others at ease.
That is good to remember. I have always been more introverted and quiet but know I have asked some of these intrusive questions myself as a younger person due to immaturity and a lack of some social skills. As I matured I learned a lot by watching and listening to other people who I admired and by looking at my behaviors honestly. Some people don't know they are being rude and it's ok to let them know by setting a boundary in a kind but firm way. I love what you said about the Queen and will remember it.
The Queen deliberately making an error for any reason? Don't think so! Probably her go-to reaction: act as though you didn't notice it.
Asking someone if their husband is the father of their children is, in my opinion, one of the rudest questions I could possibly think of having someone ask!
Also, for parents of multiple children, commenting that the child that looks the most different from the others must be the mailman's kid.
I Would love to have a husband.... but have never had....but have gotten five children....after being infertil ,for many years....so Im happy😁 So When people ask if I have a husband I answer : “ No I Can easily take Care of myself...and the kids “.....🤣
@@tiryaclearsong421 yeah, not funny.
I agree! Never forgot the moment when I was with my 2 young children, one blond hair, one brown hair, and a woman asked "Same father?"
My sister's husband is dark & we're light. They have 1 fair skinned gorgeous kiddo & 1 dark gorgeous kiddo.
My husband works for our local sheriff's office and absolutely hates when people ask what he does. Inevitably they will tell a story about being pulled over, or when they think they have a friend who will help them if they get a ticket. He usually tells everyone he cuts grass.
Tell him thank you for his sacrifice and his service. Most people have no idea what people in law enforcement deal with. He should offer to bring them on a night shift on the weekend!
And at this time some people don't respect officers so the questioner might go off on a tirade.
Probably the same if you’re a lawyer or something similar!! You’d expect adults to really know better!!!
I'm a chiropractor. You'd be surprised how many people at a party want me to treat/diagnose them at a party!
Priests, doctors and anyone with an expertise is asked for advice. I am a painter I was once asked if I would paint a picture of The Alamo, in purple , for a friend whose sofa was purple. I did...they paid.
My grandmother taught me over 50 years ago how to respond to a forward question. Look them straight in the eye & ask them "Why would you ask me that?" It stops them dead in their tracks. They are faced with the issue of explaining why they are so nosy & why they overstep boundaries. In the over 50 years I've used this it has worked 100% of the time. I have never been put in a corner feeling compelled to answer a question I didn't want to answer.
Or, ‘why would you notice? ‘
Love it! I feel that if people are rude enough to ask a rude question, I am just rude enough to let them know it.
My mother always said to say WHY to noisey people..
My grandmother used to respond to rudeness by asking, "Whatever possessed you to say that??"
It always made the person (including me) feel instantly ashamed of their rudeness.
exactly; "why do you need to know" is another good one.
When people ask me what I do for a living I tell them I’m a Domestic Engineer 😆 I keep little humans alive!
House Manager. Director of Operations.
I like this.
I have always taken the attitude that it is a profession/career if you treat it like one, regardless of how others treat you in that position. This applies to Home Management as well.
Instead of asking what someone does for a living, you can ask, “so how do you spend your time?”. This gives the other person the opportunity to share whatever they want about themself!
Excellent! Another variation of it that I recently heard is “what keeps you busy?”
Unless of course they are a stay at home spouse and/or mother than asking it like that sounds rude because it puts the person on the defensive because they have to justify how they spend their time.
I ask, “what are you passionate about?”
@@mfar3016 "What are you passionate about?" Here's a secret: For a lot people, it's anything but work!
I really think that is a much MORE personal question. What you do (more often than not primarily for a paycheck) is not as intrusive into their personal life as "How do you spend your free time."
One of the down sides of watching you tube videos are the rude comments. It hurts my heart sometimes reading the comments. On the lighter side, years ago I found a humorous birthday card. On the front it said, I know it is rude to ask people how old they are. Then on the inside it said, Happy birthday, how much do you weigh? Jennifer, thanks for another lovely video.
Card......ha ha!
Hahaha that made me laugh out loud. Thanks
Hahaha so funny
Lol
My next door neighbors kid ( he is 8 ) asked me how old I was out of the blue. I told him that it was rude to ask a woman how old she was. I did not ask him " How old do you think I am". He just volunteered " I think you are between 70 and 100 " . I asked him how could come to such a number, number and he said " Because you have wrinkles". I am 62, 5' 9" weight 145. I take good care of my skin and don't have " Wrinkles". Yes I look my age, everyone does. They really do.
People would comment when they saw me out with our four children saying “wow, your hands sure are full!” I’d always respond, “yes, and so is my happy heart!”
Me too!
I also liked to let them know what a joy it was to spend my days with these awesome humans that represent the next generation we will depend upon!
"So sorry that your hands are empty right now!"
Oh, gag ! What a sappy answer to an empathetic comment.
@@staceykersting705 Is it an empathetic comment to presume one's children are a "handful" ( ie. burdensome?)
A child once asked me who my favourite Disney princess is and I was soo excited somebody asked me that lol I much prefer the kind of conversations children have. They don’t talk about work lol
Maybe I'll start asking people that question, haha!
So, what was your answer? 😉 LOL mine is Belle! Love that independent energy, not impressed with society’s “dream guy”.
Unless you gag on Disney princesses🥴
She wanted you to ask her what her favorite Disney princess is! 🤩🤩🤩
A kid once asked me what grade I was in. So refreshing! I was in my 40's.
The “when are you going to have children” question has always bothered me. Not a lot of people know that due to medical reasons I have never been able to conceive. Learning that when my husband and I began trying to get pregnant was very devastating for me. Each time someone would ask me that question, it just broke my heart all over again.
So sorry to hear this.
That’s really sad. Sorry to hear that. People can be so mean without even realising it sometimes.. it’s such an intrusive question but people tend to use it so commonly.
I am so sorry.
I think I would teach a lesson by honestly answering, “I cannot have children, and it breaks my heart to talk about it” Perhaps they will think before asking someone else that question.
I honestly didn't know that asking " What type of work do you do?" was rude. I thought it was an ice breaker but I can understand why some would think it rude. I just really enjoy hearing about others lives, now I know to be more thoughtful.
I think you are a unique human being for having the graciousness to own up to your lack of understanding. This is so rare to have the courage to admit this. You are probably very happy in your work and did not realize that 70percent of the working population is unhappy in their work.
It is rude to ask that. What do you DOOO. . . ?Instant shutdown for me. That question out of the gate is rude and offensive because it seeks to define and narrow down the person being asked by status or definition of what they are, not who they are.
@@bathemeinchampagne That has not been my intention for asking anyone “what do you do for a living”. After reading comments here does cause me to consider choosing my words differently for sure. It seems to me that it can also be the responder possibly being on the defense. I work in a school cafeteria - I am quite happy with what I do and if someone else judges me for that 🤷🏻♀️, not my issue. Take me as I am because I am not changing my job of choice to please others. I do however have a desire to be conscientious of my communication with others and find kind responses and even an explanation about how questions like this can come across rude, which can possibility bring/give understanding. But then again, some simply do not care and are rude. Everyone’s background is different for a multitude of reasons and unfortunately so many hurt individuals on many levels. I Personally desire to learn about others and want to be uplifting & positive as well as encouraging but also learn about and from others.
Yes, It's upsetting for me b/c I'm on disability and it's not something someone would know by looking at me, so it's really embarrassing. xoxo
@@crystalbluewire3339 When I'm asked that, I say, "Everything!"
I have 'why are you so skinny?' My daughter has even been asked in front of me, 'Why is your mum so skinny?' No one would ever ask 'why are you so fat?'. I wonder why they think it's OK the other way around?
Uh....yes, you can be asked why you’re so fat? I have been twice!
@@bananaanna1373 Oh dear. Sorry to hear that. Why are people so rude?
My sister was asked this all the time until about age 30. It made her so mad bc no, you wouldn’t ask someone why they are so fat. A teacher in middle school questioned her friend to see if she were anorexic. That may have been a legitimate concern back in the 80s/90s, but it infuriated my sister. She is built like the women on my father’s side, and they were long legged and thin.
@acha herb yes!!! There’s no good way to comment on some’s weight.
Yes, people do ask and make rude comments about being overweight, and underweight, and other physical appearances. No one is immune from rudeness.
As to how to respond, you mentioned being classy and elegant in your response to rude questions. I wanted to add that along with that you need to show grace, because after all, most of the time the person isn’t asking to be rude on purpose. None of us is perfect, and I’m sure I have been guilty of asking a rude question, or two. Being kind in your response always pays off. ❤️😊
Well said. If I sincerely asked an ignorant question and got a clipped answer, I would feel horrified and probably not pursue that person since the vibe I'd feel would be one of rejection.
I agree! Sometimes mild push back against offensive remarks can have an instant effect.
I agree. Its funny (and painful) to read all these questions. But in the end we just need to be kind to one another.
Absolutely agree! Assume the best in people and treat them w/kindness in your answer.
Sometimes no words are needed; a hard stare does the trick or just leave. I don’t waste my breath on rude people. It’s up to them to get educated, not up to me to educate them - especially adults!
"Why, does it bother you?" is a great answer to questions like "Why are you so quiet?" Then they have to defend their unwelcome question.
Wish I’d thought of that when I was younger! I’m better at talking now. Now my problem is getting a word in edgewise while people talk at me…
A great response for most of these.
When I had a new baby and stopped working to be a stay at home mom I was asked, “ What in the world do you do all day?” And told, “ I’d go crazy staying home all day!” 🙄
The really bad thing about answering that question is because the reply can sound judging and confrontational. “Obviously I have a better imagination than you because I’m busy all day”, “I cook quality meals for my family that you obviously don’t do”, “I take care of my home in a superior way that obviously you don’t do”, “I take care of my own child instead of paying someone else to do it”. During the times that I didn’t work everything was better. Cleaner house, better meals, better health and weight, better sex, better off-time and fun time in general, better spiritual place in my Christianity, better friendships, better family member to my parents, siblings, etc. Everything was better and actually made us less frustrated with having less money. But circumstances change. Worked 40+ hours weekly in a salon for years. Now I’m a full-time student in a rigorous program. Very different season of life.
I got that question when I retired
My answer Nothing !
I was a stay at home Mum till my daughter went to school, I had these remarks (usually off total strangers or health visitors) and was told how it was not good for me to stay at home and I needed to get out and do work for myself. Because bringing up your own child is not doing something for yourself unlike working for the big companies or what not. I did go back to work last year in Winter only to be told I had to stay home and look after the NHS, I mean make your mind up world.
It’s amazing how many people say this to moms! Definitely my least favorite question to get and feels very condescending, like it isn’t enough and it isn’t noteworthy or fulfilling in any way. It’s my dream job!
@@jacklyncarroll7367 same, it’s my dream job also. 🙌
I always thought that etiquette was snobby and all about cutlery but it turns out that it’s the opposite of snobby! This is so helpful for people who aren’t very confident and want to learn social skills x
Of course the best teacher is your mother. If we are taught good manners as children, we don't need courses or books.
Ditto, Penny!
It's bad manners to make people feel uncomfortable with etiquette 😌
When our son was young, someone suggested that I wasn’t contributing to the household because I wasn’t working. She then went on to tell me how she worked, paid for the babysitter herself, cooked, cleaned, ironed his shirts, paid for her half of the mortgage and bills. I asked her how she made such a bad deal; she never mentioned it again.
Lol, love it!
This is helpful to me, I’m embarrassed to admit. I’ve asked questions about job, country of origin, etc. Thank you for this vid. I’m going to watch it several times to truly learn from it. I’m in my 70’s and so sorry if I’ve offended others.
I love your humble response and that you were not defensive here ♥️
Don't feel bad--I have asked people about their work as well. I had no idea it was rude or offensive and feel bad now! I was just trying to be nice--I always find it interesting how diverse our jobs can be.
Don’t feel embarrassed some people actually like other people showing an interest in them instead of me me I I.
Awesome!!! My parents are 78 and 88. I’m very aware of how things were different for them. They’ve made some changes but it’s hard! I do know that they always mean well but I did have to tell them to quit commenting on my children’s weight!!!! Not appropriate at all. They did that to me growing up and it’s NOT helpful or appreciated!!
It sounds to me like you're a person with a lively mind who takes a sincere interest in others. . .NOT someone who is rude & thoughtless! Let's face it, not everyone is a fluent conversationalist, so unless you want to babble on & on meaninglessly about random topics --- or worse, about yourself! --- you sometimes have to be a bit of an interviewer! 😉
When I was a young mother of 3, I was in the mall, walking with my two toddlers and pushing my baby son in a stroller. A complete stranger said "JEEZE, have enough kids?" I smiled and said, "In fact, I left the 3 older kids at home." I tend towards the sassy answer, as you can tell.
Very funny
Karen, you are hilarious! 🌹
You are my hero!!!
Your my kind of girl. I’m working on being less petty back to people. It’s hard though.... 🙄
Jeez, have any manners?
Person: "When are you due?"
Me: "It's a food baby."
It's a huge tumor, I'm still waiting for the OP!" will probably silence them forever.
Like that 🤣
@@Fidi987 I would be worried about tempting fate!
This happened to me and I was so sad. I knew I was overweight and my belly was looking like I was 6 moths pregnant. I mean I look at myself in the mirror I know I am overweight and what I look like why would someone even ask me How my pregnancy is going when I am not pregnant. I felt shame and guilt it was so embarrassing that it happened in front of my mother in law who is constantly giving me diet tips. Anyway its not nice. My reaction was i stood there with a blank stare and said ...I am not pregnant...and i looked horrified I am sure. Her response was she smiled and said oh no I. Yeah that was her response not an I am sorry or try to make it better no just an awful look on her face not knowing how to respond.
"Food baby" ....priceless! ROFL!
When my husband and I lived on sailboat in Marin County (one of the wealthiest counties in the U.S.), we went to a bbq thrown by my co-worker. Her brother found out we had a boat and we were having a lovely conversation until he asked where we lived. He stopped speaking to us for the rest of night once he found out we actually lived on a boat and were not wealthy yachtsman like himself. We laugh about it now, but at the time, we were shocked by the blatant snobbery of the whole situation.
It's the brother's loss.
When asked when I was having children, I smiled and asked, “Why do you need to know?” That answer works for other rude questions as well.
San Marcos high school graduation
Yeah, are they writing a book?
I'd say there are already so many, I think spay or adopt is earths' best option. That'll silence them.
When a person is asked their due date, a sharp response might be “Looks like we’re each due at the same time.”
Lol, good one Carla😁
@@omidee2926, yes! Here in south Louisiana, Cajuns speak this way all the time. Depending on each person’s personalities, it can be lightened with a smile and a wink, or said with continued direct eye-contact followed with silence for an “eye-for-an-eye” effect.
Hahahahaha 😂
This would be good for people who comment on your weight, as well, I guess 🤔 Be rude back?
@@dorisstouder2029, you are correct. Mostly, a wink and a smile go a long way toward showing personal self-esteem, and showing assertiveness as well. The real winner is the person working on getting healthier.
No one can hurt a person’s feelings without that person’s permission.
Another humorous Cajun response is a smiling “Thank you for pointing that out. I’m sure you feel much better.” Follow that up with a blank face.
If the other person persists with a retort, it would be wise to respond by telling them “No one knows that better than “me”, and I am working on that goal.”
The interesting thing about introverts is that we have bursts of energy with people we are more comfortable with which makes people, assume we are "fake"
Nope just uncomfortable(with you). Took me all my life thus far to get to this point of understanding and not blame myself so much anymore.
So true!
Good point. We know who accepts us and that safety allows us to open and be ourselves..introverts can be bubbly funny and chatty just in different settings.
@@SpecialgiftsLA In case you are a woman, have you found that the same applies to your femininity. For example, if a man makes you feel comfortable, you naturally become "more feminine", ie: higher-pitched voice, softer movements etc?
I ask because that happens to me. Especially if he has an accent. :)
@@amourtoujours779 Yes..Maybe the right people allow us to express our whole selves..the best in us. Femininity..yes..personally for me.It blossoms when you I feel safe and comfortable. And had become dimmed hidden if not. It is a great sign to listen to.
Wow so interesting and enlightening!!
The rudest (and frankly strangest??) question I have been asked is "Do you ever hear from your ex-husband?" I find this particularly odd because I have been divorced for 30 years. I have been happily remarried for 24 years. Why would I be in contact with my ex-husband?? I have learned to respond to this and other rude questions with a statement that begins with "I've discovered..." So now I respond to the ex-spouse question with "I've discovered over the years that people rarely wish to discuss their ex-spouses. I think it has to do with respecting one another's privacy. Do you agree?" That shuts it down quickly and gives a low-key etiquette lesson to the questioner.
Same. Dude, there's a reason they are an X.
I love this!!
What’s great about setting boundaries is that it helps you discern who’s capable of respecting you and who isn’t. A person who apologizes and moves on is capable. A person who gets defensive, argues, demands an answer they’re not entitled to, or punishes you by gossiping about you to others is not mature enough to respect you.
So true. Even if that person is less private and doesn't understand how the question is rude, if she just thinks "oh, that's this person's quirk and so I won't talk about this topic, that's okay." she's going to be good friend material.
....and could be a narcissist!
As a single person I constantly get asked “why don’t you have a boyfriend” and when I do they constantly ask “when are y’all getting married” 🙄 can’t I just be single and enjoy my life?
Me too, you’re not alone!
Katie......here is the perfect reply to that. Marriage is an institution and I'm much too young & way too wonderful to be in an institution. Sit back & watch their SHOCKED response! They will choke..guaranteed & look like a fool to boot!! LOL
Followed by, you must be too picky. Often from a relative stranger.
We could start a club. 😉
@@maryokeefe5351 yes apparently standards is the same thing as picky
“Are you going to try again for a girl?” In front of my boys. First off, I’m perfectly happy as a boy mom. Second, how dare someone suggest that my two boys aren’t perfectly good enough. I usually just say, “I have two wonderful children, and I’m happy with that.”
When I gave birth to my son, a close friend who had a daughter asked me if I was disappointed?
Ha! I have five boys and they STILL ask that.
I'm the mother of 3 boys, and I've heard the same thing. Blech.
Thank you for not over populating our earth! Good for you. ZPG
REALLY ? That's bad.
"So what do you do?" and responding, "Oh" then silence when you tell them.
I was a mother at home, homeschooling some of the time and involved in children's activities and my husband always valued my homemaking, but my mother regarded me with contempt for "not having a proper job" and for doing housework and teaching our children to run a home, cook, babycare, etc as she considered housework beneath her. She gave me a poem called Dust if you Must, and told me that all I'll have achieved by the end of my life is a clean house. But we had fun with our children and don't regret having lived on one salary all those years. I thank God for my husband's support and he is thankful for mine.
Love it! You did a fantastic job at what you both value, great job!!!
@@BASK1120 Thanks!
Years ago while waiting in line at a pharmacy, a woman looked at my son and said, “He’s cute, what is he?”
I responded, “He’s a boy.”
Some people in line applauded.
Sarcasm rules.
Good grief!
@Italian mermaid - Too funny!
I'm little confused, I didn't understand it. What did they mean "what" is he?
@@jelenad6367 she was inquiring about his nationality. Italian boys get very dark in the summer at the NJ shore.
I supposed I could’ve explained that part. Sorry about that.
So many questions people ask these days are meant to get to know people better, ugh... it can be so hard cause you don’t want to shut down well intentioned people. Going back to work after Covid I feel like their will be so many negative conversations and complaining in the office, so I’ve decided to ask people “so what’s been a bright spot in your life?” People often want to talk about their grandkids, their achievements and their passion projects (music, traveling, creative endeavors)
I love this, and may steal it. Thank you!
Such a great question!
Excellent and constructive idea.
The ‘When is the baby due?’ question has happened to me so many times. My answer is a smile and ‘14 years ago’.
Omg.. that's hilarious and so clever. Great answer!
@@rachelarmel7547 Thanks!
I have gotten the comment, "Why are you so quiet?" so many times throughout my life! And I hate it! I even remember people saying that to me when I was a child. I have felt many times that our society values loud, talkative people more.
Same here. On occasion I have said "It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for"
I'm quiet too, and the hardest experience for me was when I met my future mother-in-law. I saw her once a month or so during those early dating days, and she would tell me every time to "just be yourself - we want to get to know you!" Well, "myself" was quiet, but apparently a quiet self isn't an acceptable self or isn't a "self" at all? I was 18 years old when I met her, and after 4 or 5 of these encounters I started feeling really paranoid around her and like I wasn't OK as a person.
Or that you don’t have the right to be different, and they assume you owe them an explanation.
@@hmeyer827 people who say this act like you’re withholding something they have a right to, when it is a privilege for you to speak to them. Feeling paranoid is a normal response to this situation where someone is trying to pressure you to talk more than you want to. Kind of like being at a police interrogation.
Another rude question is "What are you doing (date/time)?" Rather than just directly asking something like, "Would you like to (activity/request) on (date/time)?"
The 1st rudely pins the person down to feel like they have to explain & divulge their personal plans, & then can't say no if the inviter wouldn't think their plans are a good enough excuse to turn down the invitation/request.
One rude question i get asked a lot is, “What’s for dinner?”
Ha, I do hate that question because I feel like it's pressuring me to have a plan.
so much pressure?
My Mother used to say “nightingale breast on toast.” A dear friend just reminded me last week; she now uses that too!
Lol!
I don't find this rude from my husband or our children because I plant things out, but I certainly find it rude when my grandmother, who's not eating whatever I'm making anyway
To the question, 'What are you mixed with?', the obvious answer is 'Currently I am mixing with some quite rude and nosy people...'
I wouldn't advise saying that, but it might feel good to say it in your head, haha!
That wins for me.
@@TheDailyConnoisseur - I'm about 90% sure I'd just say it, just as sweetly as my deep-southern grandparents taught me. Or this - "I'm not sur, but I get the feeling the test tube was shaken, not stirred."
Good one
@@TheDailyConnoisseur why would you not advise to say this? I thought it was a great answer!!!!!!
Thank you for calling out the "What do you do for a living?" question. I always thought this was such a lazy thing to ask someone. Asking them about their hobbies, recent trip or fun experience, even their favorite movie or book is far more interesting!
When someone asks me, "What are you?" I always say with a wink and a whisper, "I'm human!"
That's usually my reply when filling out forms at the doctors office in reference to race/nationality. Ugh
Same
I am Hispanic and a lot of people have asked me: Where are you from? To which I always respond with a big smile: I'm from Heaven! Hahaha! They are so perplexed!
Fallen angel, they knew it!
I descended from the cosmos. 💖
:D a friend of mine says "I'm from the uterus!!"
How mean!
There was a time when you were able to ask that question, esp. if you have an accent as I did years ago and I was proud to say where I was from. It often opened conversation, geographically, culturally.
How times have changed, sadly.
I have a good friend that is very noisy to me and others, she terms it as curious . She wanted to know what our income is so I turned the tables on her and said " How much do you make? She became indignant and said " THAT'S PERSONAL!!!" I replied then don't you think my income is personal to me ?" She responded " I was just curious ." SMH
Tell her "curiosity killed the cat." In other words, don't be so nosy.
@@sharyn57 very good! Wish I would have thought of that at the time.
Why are you good friends with somebody crass like that?
Drop her! She is no friend
I was attending physical therapy for my back pain, and from time to time engaged in conversation with a woman during the weeks I was going to PT (as our sessions were overlapping, so we found ourselves on the exercise bikes together, etc.). We chatted only a little but then she asks "Do you have kids?" Well, not a terribly rude question compared to some other questions, and actually it is a common question to hear, but really it would be better if those questions were not asked. Many people love to talk about their children and usually soon enough they do but it is better to wait for that opportunity for the parent to bring up their kids rather than ask "Do you have kids?" You never know if the person you are asking is grieving from a lost child, infertility, a miscarriage, a broken marriage, etc.
My favorite answer to rude or intrusive questions is to smile and say, "Why do you ask?" The smile doesn't have to be in your eyes! Lol
I am the queen of inappropriate questions so you and other etiquette experts are helping me a great deal. I think that part of my problem is that I rarely get offended by people’s questions so my gauge in identifying rudeness is off. Because I have many children, I have been asked many, many times “don’t you know what causes that?” I always respond by saying “I am truly abundantly Blessed”. At that point people talk about what a Blessing children are or they move on to a different subject. Personally, I would not be offended by that question or many of the questions you mentioned. But, I appreciate that other people are so thank you for growing my awareness.
Love thIs. I so agree. I believe a big part of being classy is being forgiving and at times acting like a wet duck when it comes to peoples mistakes. I can guarantee that people who ask awkward questions will answer awkward questions without a shadow of awkwardness. That’s kind of what I do when faced with a person with broader boundaries then my comfort zone. I think they are great exercise for forgiving. Otherwise it would be a sterile world :-)
What were rhe people referring to when they asked, “don’t you know what causes that?” ?
I agree, I am not offended when people ask me those questions either. I think people should be more positive and assume the best of people, and not be so easily offended. It would make life easier for them, and also the people who are around them...
@@sandrabart5924 They are implying that the person who continues to get pregnant must not know how babies are made. I think people are just joking around and trying to have fun with them, but some people apparently are getting offended by it.
@@themamabearlife3339 I completely agree.
Speaking of rude. This wasn't addressed here, but maybe it was in another video.
*When you are pregnant, why do people feel they have the right to touch your belly?
I have never done that to a stranger but maybe it's because people want to be close to the most beautiful thing in the world and show you your baby hello in there.
Don't let strangers touch you or your children. You don't know if they are devil worshippers these days.
Touching pregnant woman belly is common in my culture... it felt weird doing in the US once.... never again.
Beware. Might be demons trying to steal little one!
Not common here. "Get away from me" culture we live in now.
Questions about having children. Never realized how rude it was until we started going through infertility.
Amen.
Same situation here! 👋If people ask if we have kids I just respond "Not yet" and they usually drop the subject. Also, even if a couple has one child it doesn't mean they aren't experiencing secondary infertility, so no need to ask people if they're going to give their child a sibling.
Definitely.
Oof same. Although I’m open about my struggles with others and personally don’t get offended by the question. But looking back I’ve made a fool of myself a few times.
Yes, I often got questions about when I was giving my son a sibling. I used to shy away from answering. And then I eventually started answering with “it was a long hard road to have him and we are grateful for him”. That usually got the point across. It is such a deeply personal question and can be so hurtful. I’m sorry if you have experienced that hurt too.
A sassy response to “don’t you have a TV?” I’ve heard is “If you think TV is more interesting, you’re it doing wrong.” 🤭
Love this!
Oh yes the old why don't you have a TV question. I get that all the time also. And I say I don't need a TV. I can get all the good and bad news I want on my iPad. And I laugh. That's kind of my way of telling them to cool it.
I’m showing my age , but does anyone else remember “snappy answers to stupid questions “ in Mad magazine?
I used to love it !!
I remember it!
I used to get Mad but don't remember that specific part!! I remember folding the last page in half and it formed crazy things!! Used to love it!!!!
I weened on Mad Magazine
Yes, back in the good old days.
Yes!
Thank God I'm not the only one!
One of the rudest questions I was asked last year was after someone learned that I homeschooled our children. She asked “Do you think you’re qualified to teach your kids?”
Oh my.. that's really rude
I always answered that I know my children best.
Oh, I’ve had this one too many times to count!
I've had this too. I was boiling and took quite a bit to restrain my answer.
It is so rude, and goes hand in hand with, “Areyou going to homeschool through high school?” I always say, “Well I’ve gone through college so I think I can stay at least one day ahead of my kids.”
I think that if people spend more time on their own business and not the business of others they will be more content with their life. Contentment brings peace. This would make us all better.
Then there would be no RUclips, lol! Most of it is people watching other peoples lives...
There have been times when I have had to answer, "You must assume my business is more interesting than your own."
One response I’ve learned over the years when I’ve been asked something I feel is too personal to answer or just not appropriate is to reply back with, “ Why do you ask?” That always works without any rudeness.
“Have you lost weight?” I do not want to talk about my weight with most people, and if I do, I’ll bring it up. There’s no good way to talk about someone’s weight.
I agree. I never bring up the subject the weight.
I never ask about weight. I’m afraid someone will say it’s because of a terminal illness! I just don’t go there.
Oh my goodness, yes! I got this from aunties and grandmas as a teen and it made me incredibly self-conscious...All I could think was, "Why, how fat was I before?" I was at a perfectly healthy weight then, and always thought I was fat.
Lost? actually looks like you found it, keep it.
Can you reply, "No, but have you gained weight?" I also hate, "How do you stay so slim?" (I know it's meant as a compliment, but it puts me on the spot.) Because I'd NEVER ask anyone, 'How did you get so fat?'"!!
My husband has three college degrees and is working on his doctorate. I didn’t go to college and on top of that I am a housewife without children. You can imagine the funny comments and rude questions that I have received over the past eleven years. When one asks what college I attended I love telling people ” I was so smart I didn’t need to go to college “and then I give a friendly wink 😉. That usually works well and people give a nice smile and proceed to ask what hobbies I enjoy. Be fun and easygoing with others and most of the time they will show you the same respect.😎
I had a friend who would respond to the “When are you having children” question with “ It isn’t that we don’t like children, we just eat them for breakfast”. It is so comical to see the reactions. She did end up having two and didn’t eat them!
My daughter is Asian/Caucasian and is constantly asked if she is adopted. We never really get offended but it is presumptuous of people. And very common. She also gets the "what are you mixed with?" variations of questions too. Usually followed by comments on how beautiful she is. So I know people mean well, they are simply curious. It's not meant negatively.
Lately, the rudest questions we encounter is concerning our families vaccination status. I really wish people would stop overstepping this boundary. Medical decisions should not be a topic of public discussion. It's a private and personal, individual decision.
Sorry to hear your daughter sometimes receives questions like that. Thank you for sharing the medical status point. My family and I have experienced this a lot lately and it is extremely uncomfortable.
My pastor and his wife are white and they are foster parents and have often gotten children of other races. They said people in public always ask “where did you get that baby” meaning they think it’s adopted from Africa or something when really it’s a baby from our own town that someone didn’t want.
Regarding the vaccine question, I respond that I am practicing “don’t ask, don’t tell.”
@@j.b.c.5396 That is an unbelievably uncouth question to pose to a young person!!!!
I do have to ask if people are vaccinated before I accept invitations or spend quality time with them. I have several friends who have cancer. I can't afford to take chances, even though I'm vaccinated. I hope you will show a bit of grace to people who need to know. It isn't a judgement of your choice, but the choice to not vaccinate affects others.
When asked “when are you due?” my SIL responded with a laugh, “oh I’m not pregnant, just way behind on my crunches!” I think that’s a classy response and it’s always a good idea to lighten the situation with humor.
Why
I was once asked when I was due, I responded "9 months from tonight"
Lighten with humor! Nearly Always the best option!
@@bathemeinchampagne Absolutely. If not you, who else gonna teach the rude a lesson.
As a child I remember my mother being asked, "How old are you?" by a virtual stranger. She did reply, adding 10 years to her age, at which the woman replied, "You look so young for your age!" I asked Mum why she had answered that way and she told me that it was extremely rude to ask a woman her age,especially a stranger. I learnt early about questions that shouldn't be asked.
😂 I'm going to remember this one! Great response.
My mother did the same thing. I am not as brave.
I had a woman insist that I couldn’t know something because of my age. I told her I’m pushing 40 and a historian so I was qualified to know whatever I wanted.
I copy a phrase from the movie Mame, “somewhere between 30 …and death”.
@@lindafusek3794 Good response...lets the questioner know that you don't want to answer, with a little humor. I am going to use "Old enough to get the Senior's Discount" ( I am in my 80's, and dislike ageist behaviors).
I have been asked “Why are you always smiling?” Lol I laugh and said because I am happy and content. Lol
That's a high quality problem! :)
👍
Yes...I get that question, too. I say, "It keeps people guessing."
@@staceykersting705 ha! My mama would reply “it makes people wonder what I have been up to!”
Great answer. I actually had someone ask me that in high school, so there you have it, the mentality of the person who asked you this really isn't very impressive.
After 17 years of marriage, 45 years old, and no plan for kids ever, I get those "are you going to have kids" questions less and less. If I do, I say "factory is closed for business" 🤣
When I had four young kids of my own and took in my brother's two young children after he passed, I was often asked IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN many rude questions. I developed some standard responses. To "Wow, your hands are full" I responded, "Actually it is my heart that is full--I LOVE these kjds!" To "Don't you know what causes that?" I would respond, "Yes! We have such awesome kids, we are happy to have more awesome kids!" I would always follow it by smiling at my children. Not only was it a good lesson for the asker, but made my children feel wanted, instead of a burden.
Dont you know what causes that? Yeah, of course and its awesome.
The rudest question people ask when they find out that I don’t work is: Well, what do you do all day? To which I respond, Whatever ever I feel like that day. 😂 If they they push for an answer I will say that my life is not their business. 🤷🏼♀️ But the message is that you can’t be useful or productive if you don’t get paid for services rendered. 🙄
How about “ I am master of my own and my family’s destiny instead of being a slave of someone else’s desk” ! When I have been asked this, sometimes I have said “ oh I don’t do anything but eat chocolates and watch Oprah all day....”
@@cashby1425 🤣 That's one I have to remember! Thank you! I also like CEO of Domestic Operations 😀
I worked with someone that when she decided to retire and someone asked her “What are you going to do with yourself?” , her answer was “Why do I have to do anything?” I love that! My favorite response ever!!!
They are probably jealous.
@@pattyg.4872 I remember someone asking an 80 year old friend how long he'd been retired. He said 20 years. The first many said, "Wow! What do you do with all your time?" When the 80 year old stopped laughing, he said, "I'm so busy that I wonder how I ever found time to work."
I helped my husband run our own construction business for 30 years. I answered the phone, did the bookkeeping and also helped on the job sites. To some people I just worked at home, like I didn't have a job.
Oh my goodness! You are my kindred spirit, I currently work with my spouse at our Automotive Repair facility and get told many times that I am the "help". That wasn't the worse. The rudest is when women would come to the shop and actually flirt with my husband right in front of me ( I am 10 years younger). When my husband would blush and say this is my wife, the response would be "does she even know how to take care of you". Yes, ma'am I do! We have been together for 25 years. I think I've taken care of him long enough to prove.
Amazing thank you for sharing.
Same
I just straight up tell them " I can't believe you asked me that". I've had alot of people ask me how much money I get? And that's when I straight up say " I can't believe you asked me that.
Rudest question I have EVER been asked was when I quit my job right before I got married and before I had a chance to say anything when I told my boss I needed to speak with him about something he said "what, are you pregnant or something?".
I was absolutely livid.
When people ask my husband and I when we are going to have kids/how is it coming along, after two miscarriages and longing for children my response is, "It's all in God's hands" because it's the truth and so far it has been a good response
I’m so sorry. That is so hard. I would often receive the comment (in a “joking” but rude way), “boy, your hands are full” when I was out and about with our three young children. This was a painful comment for me, because between our first and second children, we lost twin baby girls and then had an early miscarriage. I would politely and as cheerfully as possible reply, “Better than empty!” Helena, I pray you receive your heart’s desire of children!
@@CynthiaRaeC Thank you. And that's a great response, I'll have to remember that one (: thank you for your prayers and I'm sorry for your losses 💙
Helena, your response shows what a kind heart you have💕
My male friend who was a model, when asked what he does for a living, used to answer, "Im in marketing." If further inquiries...he would say, "Print and media." He never said, "I am Ford Agency's male model of the year." It attracted the wrong people as hangers on. Just as my baseball playing friends say, "I work in sports."
One day one of our sons was asked, "Who is that old lady you were with yesterday?" He was stunned! "My mom." Yep, I'm as old as the grandparents of many of the friends of our youngest boys. When we lived in Virginia we were often asked about our "large" family of five children. After we moved to Utah no one even noticed. We've moved about 12 times over our 33 year marriage and when we've applied for mortgages the question I'm asked is some variation of "Do you work?" I answered "I work, but I don't earn any income." Some got it and others had to have it explained to them. I think some "rude" questions come from a place of curiosity or wanting to establish a connection. Some come from incredulity that anyone would chose to live differently than the questioner. Kindness and grace go a long way in teaching others about the propriety of asking certain questions. Last tidbit, once I was sitting in church waiting for an evening service to begin. A black family sat behind us and their toddler reached up and began stroking my hair. She'd probably never seen long, smooth naturally red hair like mine. The other family members were embarrassed and pulled her away, but I turned around and encouraged the little girl to feel my hair and satisfy her curiosity. She was so sweet and I didn't want to discourage her. (Anyone older than a toddler might think about asking permission before touching.)
Nice! Kids are so innocent.
I love your attitude. I had my youngest daughter when I was almost 40. Some of her classmates had grandmothers my age. I'd rather be me ;)
I have a mole on my back the size of a pea. I was in a health club and knelt down at my locker; and a little girl came up to me and very gently touched my mole. I thought it was very sweet. At least she didn’t tell me I should have it surgically removed!
+ The Rozylass: in the context of applying for a mortgage of course they will ask if and what income you have, so "I am a stay at home wife or mother" will be accepted in a matter of fact manner. They just have to KNOW because it influences the probability of a family being able to pay the mortgage (if one person loses their job, gets sick etc).
That's a switch. Black people often have white strangers touch their hair without asking, and these are not toddlers.
As a Latter-day Saint, there have been two rude questions. This was when I was much younger (I'm retired) and I find younger members are not asked these questions much anymore. To single people, especially men: Why aren't you married yet? To married people: Why do you not have kids yet? My motto over the years has been, "assume good intent. It will allow grace to the unintentionally rude and disconcert the intentionally rude."
“Why aren’t you married / why are you still single?” I’d like to have a better reply to that than my awkward “just haven’t met the right fella yet I guess” or tetchy “because I was asked that on a first date”
Your motto is lovely. Thank you for putting that so nicely!
An old gentleman once said that I was "blooming" and when was I due? I was 56 at the time, and so I replied I'm not pregnant but I will take that as a compliment that you thought I was still young enough to be childbearing age! I did myself ask someone when they were due 25 years ago, when they weren't pregnant and never ever made the same mistake again!
The biggest struggle I have when being asked a rude question is that my natural tendency, almost like a reflex is to put people at ease even if I’m not comfortable. I had twins and got a lot of uncomfortable questions about why I was so big, or comments about how “effective my husband was” that was really off putting.
I also struggle with the question of what I do for a living, I am a homemaker and care for our four children at home. Even when people are generous about this, and say things like “that is the hardest job out there,” or “I don’t know how you do that” I never really know how to respond. It feels like people want to assure me that my job is important, I know my job is important, we don’t have to tell doctors or lawyers their job is important, why do we have to tell moms? It feels strange to me.
I would tell doctors and lawyers their job is hard and important 🤔 I think people say these things because they have compassion to how hard it is to be a mom, but I may be wrong. It probably depends on where their heart is !
They are acknowledging your hard work. Take it and run with it! More than likely they have raised kids themselves and know that taking care of the home and kids is harder than most jobs...
When I was expecting my twins (45 years ago) a stranger spoke to our 18 month old and asked her if we were going to have a little brother or sister, and when my husband said maybe both, she then said disdainfully, WELL, YOUNG MAN, THERE ARE WAYS! Was she implying a single sibling was ok but one of the twins should have been aborted?????
I have a career outside the home and people actually do stop and tell me my job is important. I think people do this for female dominate work in general because they know we are under paid and under valued.
Excellent! I’ve been asked at least 4 of those questions. Recently a new acquaintance asked “what do you do?” I considered it a compliment considering I’m 79 years old.
If it makes you feel any better, the queen actually asked Eric Clapton "what do you do" when she met him :).
I never thought asking about their line of work could be rude. I’ve asked this question since I was a kid. It’s always intrigued me about the wide variety of making a living.
With so many people unemployed, it can provoke anxiety. Best to wait for people to bring it into the conversation than to blunder into something about which you may regret having asked.
It can also imply you're trying to assess their value by their occupation, if you have patience people naturally bring it up when they're ready ;).
Mixed origins are so unique and beautiful. That's why people ask.
I was always asked: "Why are you so tall?" I never knew how to respond when I was young, but it made me feel like something was wrong with me. Now that I am older, I say that I am descended from a long line of beautiful, courageous Viking women!" Steers the conversation in some quite interesting directions.
What kind of question is that! 😂 Ask them back; why are they not so tall?
Can't resist. People would ask me if I play basketball, and the correct answer is: No, do you play miniature golf?
@@stephrose20 Yes, that as well. And, "Why are you so tall?" Often with a frown on their faces. So rude, so shallow.
Oops, I meant to say, they asked, "What are you, a giraffe?" I realized at some point that it was their own insecurity speaking, because they knew they never had a chance with me, no matter their height.
I'm a tall Viking princess too!!
Someone asked me when was I due , but I responded, "I am not pregnant, just FAT, but thank you for noticing..." hahahahahaa I was teasing and it made light of the situation..
My husband and I miscarried a baby at a time when 7 other women in our church were pregnant. While attending one of their baby showers, an older woman asked me when we were going to “follow suit with the rest of the group?” She also gave some beauty tips on how to make it more appealing to my husband. It took patience for me to simply respond “Oh, thank you for the concern.” I came up with a reason to leave the event fairly quickly.
I now can see that she was attempting to be helpful even if it was in a very rude way.
How mortifying! I don't like when people give me unsolicited advice.
That is horrifying. The original comment is so painful, especially in that situation, but then to assume that the issue is that you weren't attractive to your husband (!!!!) and give you advice. My goodness! I am so sorry that happened to you ❤️
Actually, asking why I was so quiet is how I met my husband. He was intrigued and it made me stand out to him. I think rude is relative.
RE: "why are you so quiet?" It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. Said with a wink and a smile, of course
My dad taught me that.☺ It's perfect.
Several times when I've been asked the "what do I do?" question (homemaker), I will get the follow up "will you get a real job when your kids are grown?"
Yes, I got that question from someone the first time I met her. One of my children has special needs and it is likely I will never return to work whether I want to or not. I just answered, "I don't know."
Yes I get that all the time too! I'm a 26 year old married homemaker. People have no idea how to respond to that, lol.
Noooooo, oh, no! A "real" job? People are just plain rude. I am in a 20+ years relationship and childfree, and people have asked me, "Why?" Do you hate kids? Aren't you afraid he'll run off with a woman who will give him children?" CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
@@Erin_29 I have a friend in her mid-40s, married for at least 15 years, no children, and a homemaker. People always ask her what she does all day. "Why don't you get a job?" "Don't you get bored doing nothing?" OMG, why are people so rude?
@@irairod5160 I am old enough to remember when the questions would be the opposite. You're married; why are you working outside the home? Can't your husband support you?
Asking where people have traveled often makes people who don’t travel/vacation often uncomfortable. I’ve learned this the hard way as we travel and others often get defensive and say they don’t have much money to travel as we do.
Honestly, just be polite and have good intentions. Don’t make assumptions and be a good human.
Completely true. I have wanted to travel and have very little in comparison to so many people I have know because my husband and I didn’t have the money. Still don’t actually. We have more than the past but still don’t have the money or vacation time to do what we would like. Interestingly enough I feel like people can turn not wanting to travel into something that is kind of superior too. They can insinuate that their lives, etc are so wonderful they have no interest going elsewhere.
Yes. I thought of it too! Many people can’t afford it so it’s presumptuous to ask... but then again...nobody’s perfect ! Even our wonderful Jennifer ! 🌺
@@bananaanna1373 What surprised me was learning from someone I met at a party that many members of Congress have not traveled abroad, except for military service. I guess I had never considered that people who could afford to travel would choose not to, especially those who may have to vote on issues of foreign policy. I don't think I would ask someone I had just met about their travel experience unless I knew that they had the time and the means to do so.
Thanks for these excellent replies! I’d like to add another rude thing people ask or more often say...it’s when someone tells you to “smile”.
I find it so annoying. You’re enjoying yourself in a social setting and at a moment when you’re not engaged in conversation with anyone, you haven’t just heard a joke, you’re just maybe about to get a cracker and cheese and some random guy pops up with his demand for you to smile. It just makes you concerned that you have sour grapes face or something! In actuality, they’re just trying to talk to you, but it’s such an off putting, manipulative ice breaker!
I’d love to hear your advice on how to respond when that happens.