COZY CHRISTMAS PREP with a dash of seasonal sadness | vlog
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- Опубликовано: 22 дек 2023
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Never compare yourself to others it's the theif of joy. You're not a mess you are perfectly imperfect. Social media can very misleading and everything that glitters isn't gold. You are beautiful and your story is still unfolding ❤
You verbalizing your overthinking makes me feel better because that’s EXACTLY what goes on in my head 😂❤
Lol same!
Nikki… I just love you. I have been watching you since day one like 10+ years… You’re such a genuine light! It hurts me to see when you’re struggling mentally. You deserve all the joy and all the happiness. I pray for you! I pray for your peace and for an abundance of love and joy in your life. Merry Christmas and a joyful and prosperous New Year to you!! Xoxo
It’s hard to compare our parents to current instagram parents that don’t have traditional jobs and have the flexible schedule to be more present. Unplanned does not mean unwanted, sending love girl! Glad to see you post!
There’s so much adhd in this video 🤣 watched you since day 1 and you are, without a doubt, the most authentic. Give yourself more credit, I love your Christmas chaos 🤣🥰 & you’re beautiful without and with make up. Have a lovely Christmas 🎄
I totally understand what you're saying about not being planned. My mom had me at 16 and I always thought I was unwanted too . I have 3 younger siblings and just felt like I was always the babysitter . I felt like I had so much responsibility as a child and chose not to have children because of it. I'm so uninterested in responsibility that I don't even date.
Aw I love you Nikki- look I was the same way - I was an oops baby too, with a dad who didn't want me, but you and I and other people were meant to be here. Just because we weren't planned doesn't mean we weren't meant to be, that we don't have a purpose. And I'm 27, had my first baby (planned) last year, and I definitely love and wanted her, but it is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I think people make it look easy online, but it's hard freaking work, I've been up for 3 nights this week sleeping on the living room floor because my toddler wouldn't stop puking. From 12am-5 am two nights in a row I was up washing and cleaning things. So please don't look at other moms online, they don't show you the hard reality of having kids. I think at the end of the day- most parents try their best, that doesn't mean they don't make mistakes or fail their kids at times, but I do believe most really do try. And as adults we have to heal from their mistakes and accept that no one is perfect and work on ourselves because we can't control our parent, a lot of us got dealt a crappy hand in life. But Nikki you were meant here, and although you don't feel great all the time- you got me through the worst breakup of my life 7 years ago. So please know how loved you are ❤️
She’s gotten a lot of us through so many difficult moments. Hope she knows she is so loved by her internet family.❤️ She has created such and amazing space for a lot of us experiencing similar things at different times of our lives.
❤
Ngl. The lil mental breakdown and rant at the beginning was super therapeutic for me. I'm glad I'm not the only one who wonders how things could have went different in my life. Sending much love and wishing you a super happy holiday!! ❤❤❤
Loved this vlog ♥️ please don't ever feel like you need to avoid heavy subjects for our sake. I always appreciate how honest and real you are. And you look beautiful!
Nikki I’m so happy for you for taking charge and working on your mental health 💕 It’s so awesome that you’re delving into these topics and looking for ways to feel better/ happier. Thank you for sharing this with us all you sharing your journey will help so many ppl who may be going through the same things. Always always love your videos 🥰Sending you hugs and love!
Aw Nikki, everyone has childhood crap that messes them up, but it makes us who we are, and honestly I’m sure there are some really beautiful qualities that you have as a result. I feel like you are a super caring human. ❤
Exactly, you don’t end up that way by not being loved 😂either ❤
You're the best, not a mess. Be Merry and Happy '24!
Totally understand the mom thing. My husband and I started trying and easily got pregnant. We now have a 7 month old girl. But we constantly talked about how we wanted to raise our kids etc etc before we got pregnant. Now that we have our daughter, we put our all into her. We constantly talk about giving her what we didn’t have, all kinds of things. And my husband is such an amazing father. We always wonder what the heck our parents were thinking and why didn’t they do X, Y and Z.
Love your willingness to share the childhood experiences! I can relate a lot to the feelings you shared. Growing up with 3 brothers & watching my parents make ends meet, the stress & chaotic home life has me always second guessing kids of my own as well. I think it’s great hearing women talk more about this too! We 💕 you Nikki!!! ✨🎄
I really really enjoyed this vlog, especially the realness in the car. That feeling of wondering how you and your life could have been different if your family had been different is sooo soo familiar. And it's not like anyone is to blame, everyone does their best, right - and our parents have issues from their childhood lingering, and so it goes... Maybe the best we can do is try to take care of our grown-up selves and our loved ones like we wish we had been taken care of in our own childhood. And then, if we ever get children, we have lots of practice on extending that kind of generousity and warmth!
I have been following you since you dated that fitness guy back in the days. Thank you for sharing raw and real thoughts on the journey of finding your way though life
Love your transparency, been following you for years and it feels like I’m growing with you lol (I’m 26, been following since I was 18). Happy holidays Nikki! ☺️🫶🏽
Love these cozy, chill videos ❤
Your content is awesome. Nikki never never compare yourself to others it's the thief of joy.💜💜
When you're in your moment, such as recording a vlog in your car, let yourself and your thoughts go. You can edit out the parts later you don't want to share publicly, but I can see having those raw moments captured would be good for you to get out as well as a reminder to speak to your therapist about. Write them down in notes you can bring with you later when you edit. Otherwise, stopping in mid thought, you may loose something that is deep in you that needs to get addressed. Also, stay natural. Don't stress about makeup, especially running an errand. Be YOU-tif-ful because YOU ARE! Be blessed, be a blessing, and have a Merry Christmas!
You are wanted and you are not an inconvenience! You bring my life so much joy. I love you! ❤
Merry Christmas, Nikki! Love your rambles, and how you show your true self. Look forward to another year of Nikki!
Nikki, we love and appreciate when you're real with us. Don't ever think ranting or speaking your darker thoughts is bothering your followers. It's relatable. No one has a perfect life, no matter how perfect it appears to be. Sending you lots of love this holiday season ❤️🎄🎁🐈
Hi, my 3 children were surprises and not planed and I love them so much! I was myself a surprise and never felt like my parents didn't want me ! You are unique and perfection in your imperfection. 😊 you deserve to be love as you are. You are beautiful . And we see that your sisters adore you!
Merry Christmas Nikki!! Thanks for making these videos, it makes this time of year less lonely ❤ safe travels today!!!
Aw, Nikki 🫶🏼 you're more loved and wanted than you could ever imagine
Well little lady we are very happy you are here. Have been watching you for so many years ❤️ Your content is honestly so nice I get so happy when you upload.
I was a T baby and I feel loved!! And i love this hard. We either become the product of what we are born into or become more because of it
your cats sitting with you while you were wrapping presents was the best!!!
Merry Christmas 🎄❤️
You are soooo loved Nikki, I am so excited to see your content this next year. I love seeing the authenticity because so many of us can relate to almost this entire video 💕💗🫶🏼
Funny to check in every so often over the decade and your voice/heart feels like an old friend 😄.
Just had that parent/kid chat with my sister; must be in the air, haha.
You deserve such a strong support of empathy/reciprocity, Nikki. It’s amazing to see your capacity. Good to see ya back on the weights! Happy Holidays. Seeing you shop I feel like “Just give her a snack and let me drive.” 😂
Good morning beautiful 🩷 while watching this I couldn't stop thinking about a podcast I watched this morning from Girls Gone Bible the one about identity. I don't know your belief system but if nothing else I highly suggest watching that one. You are enough just the way you are. They talk alot about some of the things you mentioned in your video. Sending you so much love! Your energy and ability to smile and send love to those around you even if its not reciprocated it can make a HUGE difference in ppls days. Don't change your smile it is worth sharing!
Merry Christmas, Nikki.
I love that you went out makeup- less. You're beautiful inside and out, always!
I was an oops baby myself. Sometimes the universe has a special plan for us, you are amazing and deserve all the love. You’re such a bright spot in the world. I also need to focus on routine and scheduling myself, my biggest struggle in life
Girl you are great and love your personality stop worrying about everything you're great person and your mom did the vest she could and she loves you ok have a great Christmas and a happy New year 😊💞☃️🎄
Happy Christmas Eve eve everyone
Merry Christmas Nikki ❤🎄🥰
Love the video ❤ was super bummed to miss out on streammas due to OT. Happy holidays !!!
This is why I love you, you think out loud the thoughts I think of, I've been following you since the CG days, this is my favorite Nikki :)
The beginning of this vid broke my heart. I hope you know now how much you are loved and wanted ❤❤
Nikkiiii the childhood trauma is very relatable.... thank you for being you!
Merry Christmas! 🎄🎁
You don’t need makeup. Let your natural beauty shine. ✨ Wishing you a Merry Christmas 🎄
I was planned and my parents were excited for me and I’m still a depressed anxious POS 🙋🏼♀️ love you
Merry Christmas ❤🎅🏽🎄
Your family/kids story reminded me of a quote that says, the same boiling water that softens the potato, hardens the egg
I was also unplanned, and not wanted. My mom was literally angry at my dad during the whole pregnancy and when she had me she decided to get the procedure done to not have kids anymore which kept her in the hospital for a month and off for a year so I don’t even know who took care of me that first month. I also have my struggles now with depression and anxiety and I wonder if it stemmed from that early rejection but I’m giving it to God everyday and I hope He heals and restores me bc He wanted me here so that matters most! ❤ I’m glad you’re here bc you have such a warm charismatic personality that matches your beauty! Hope you have the best year ever! ❤❤❤
If your mind brings darker things forward, don't push it down. Don't feel bad about it... but feel open to exploring it (hopefully in therapy) lol 😆. Or even with friends!
I have intrusive thoughts almost every day/other day and it can take an emotional/mental toll. Almost makes me appreciate a dark af sense of humor 😅.
We care about you, as we obviously come back time and time again to "hangout" with our buddy Nikki. So even though it probably lol doesn't mean too much from random Weirdos on the internet 🤣, we genuinely think you're awesome. All the bad ,good and in-between. You help people you don't even know exist. So keep pushing buddy, keep pushing.
Your so beautiful Nikki! Been following since 2015 ❤
You were wanted or she would have made other choices. I hope for you and all my girlies out there in 2024 that we give ourselves grace. We don't have to 'have it all together' all the time to be of value. To be honest, I almost got sucked into the hustle, girl boss mentality and then I realized, I like to be home. I like making my protein hot chocolate every morning and cuddles with my cat. I much rather work out at home or go for a walk/run in nature than be at a crowded gym. You are exactly who you need to be and the world/ social media needs authentic people like you.
Merry Christmas!
Feliz Natal a todos🌲🎁❤️
If you ever go back to blonde/balayage, can you please make a vlog of it. I’m thinking of doing it again too.
You’re so naturally beautiful. 🥹😍
Love your honesty and openness ❤ where did you get that cute desk you put together on this video?
I hope you had a great time with your family. Many people have touched on your comments I just want to send some love your way. ❤ I hop you try to remember to talk to yourself the way you would talk to someone else because I know you only have kindness for everyone.
First!!. Also Merry Christmas everyone!!
You're absolutely gorgeous without makeup🤩
Nikki, it's crazy how much I relate to everything you're saying. You are the voice in my head that I keep arguing with lol
Clicked this to help prove you wrong about which kind of thumbnails gets more clicks 🤣. Loving the journey we went on during the video, more of this please lol. Hoping you're feeling better now and wish you a Merry Christmas!
I started leaving the house with just some tinted sunscreen and feel a lot more put together ❤️
Yay!!
Wearing the “why am I like this” shirt while watching this 😅😭🫶🏽
I was not planned either Nikki🎉 My mom was on the Depo shot, too. lol As the middle child I saw my sister and brother receive love and be raised differently then me. It is hard feeling like the misfit toy factory reject😢 But we aren't that, we are fighters that earn, work, and belong like everyone else. I too am in therapy, hang in there😊
Omg I have the same air freshener 🥹
I just read How to Be The Love You Seek and it is incredible for healing childhood wounds/trauma. I too was an "unwanted" , unplanned child
MERRY CHRISTMAS MISS NIKKI HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY BE SAFE AND I WISH YOU A GREAT NEW YEAR. P.S. JUST A THOUGHT YOU SHOULD GET OUT THE HOUSE MORE. LOVE YOUR VIDEOS 😎
Nikki! What song is playing during your workout seg??? Wuv you!
Love you too 💞😊
NGL, I'm subscribed to too many channels, lol and I haven't watched one of your videos in too long, but Nikki, you've only gotten more beautiful with and without makeup. Your personality is still dooope. ✌🏾
I had a shit childhood. I have a son and im making sure he has the best childhood ever.
being a wife and mother is a bonus. enough
There’s only two reasons influencers still use better help as a sponsorship. 1. They have done zero research into the company & are blindly promoting it. (Which is kinda messed up to not do any research into something as important as therapy that you’re promoting to impressionable viewers) or 2. They know how awful better help is, and care more about a paycheque then their viewers mental health. Since I know Nikki is aware of how awful better help is I’m assuming with her it’s the latter.
I always wondered, im in the market for a new car and im contemplating an electric but questioning how long it takes to charge, also i live in Australia and we dont have charging stations that i have seen around, so id only be able to do at home..
I will always regret not talking a photo with you at the L.A. Gymshark Popup.. i had no idea who you were at the time i thought you were a clout girl 😢 i couldn't be more wrong. you have kept it so real and i appreciate it so much. i relate with you in many ways
Def were going down a dark road there lol I get like that sometimes due to my period starting soon enough 😅 but don't feel left out. I have my dark stories and one is being rejected by my dad when I was a child bc he thought I was someone else's.
I've missed u Nikki!
That’s an interesting point about being a mistake or accident versus being planned and excited for pregnancy. lol it’s Christmas Eve and you got me pondering while smoking and I’m a cancer so I’m sensitive lol . I’m high so I’m laughing and deep in thought lmao
Hey everybody
Some friendly advice: Costco will fill up your tires for the freeeee. At least they do in CO. worth checking out! Love ya girly!
👏👏👏 0:11
How the cats came over at the same exact time acting like “of course she wants us to be over here laying on top of what she’s trying to do.”
Honey, you’re beautiful without makeup. ❤
Sometimes the brain can be brutal - yes 😅💩 😅
I hope your funk has passed and that you will have a marry Christmas, Nikki ✨✨✨☺️
*love your vlogs
❤❤
👏👏👏 9:27
I think even when first children are “wanted” their upbringing will always be different than their siblings. Either the parents put so much effort into that first child that they put less effort and love into raising their siblings. In a situation where a first child was not planned, there is a lot of stress and emotional warfare that they weren’t necessarily prepared for. I don’t think any set of siblings would say they have the same experience. All this just to say I feel you. I was 2nd to last in a family of 8 kids and the version of my Mom that I received was absent.
My mom openly told me I was an accident all the time. Lol I feel you on that big time.
Nikki, my heart breaks for you. Those are words no child should EVER have to hear from their mother and father. I am so sorry. Your mother may not have planned you, but God did. He has a purpose for your life. You have purpose in Him. You matter to Him. He wants you here. Girl, you are a MIRACLE!!! you defeated the odds and made it here! You lived. You're living. Despite it all, your heart is still beating and we are so grateful you are here.
The peace you are looking for is found in God. He cares for you and loves for you so much!! More than life itself. The stability you are looking for is found in Him. It's not in a man. True, everlasting peace is only found in God and He is always willing to give it to you. Everything that you are looking for is already within yourself. You have everything you need to be fufilled. It isn't necessary to rely on a man to bring peace or stability when you already have it yourself. Relying on a man for anything, even peace, gives him more power and control than necessary and could lead to a dangerous and toxic dynamic.
Take care of yourself, Nikki. You are so loved. You are so valued as you are. And yes, you are more than your face! So proud of you for declaring this. Praying for you. 💕💕
P.S.if you're looking for a new book to listen to, check out Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry. He expresses very similar thoughts as to not being cared for by his parents and wondering how different his life would've turned out if his parents actually wanted him. Highly recommend!!
I have been very depressed and emotional all week .. doesn't even feel like Christmas this year it's pretty sad I can't even buy Christmas presents for anyone this year .. inflation went up and I didn't get a raise bills went up car payment up groceries.. I just can't deal right now .. I shut down for a while today I just don't know what to do it really sucks . I'm sad because I really love buying presents for people and this is the very first year I have ever been in this situation
I‘m so sorry to hear you’re so sad!:( Look, Christmas is not about presents. Yes, it’s nice to give and receive something, but it can be something small yet precious. A letter to your mom/dad/partner/friend/yourself.A picture with a diy frame.A cookie you made. A Christmas flavored tea. Or anything that doesn’t cost (much) money. It’s not about the price.
You got this. Sending you much love and have a wonderful Christmas. You are loved and cherished! 🫶🏽
Nikki, you look gorgeous without makeup! Not sure whether i‘d even have noticed that you don’t have any makeup on if you hadn‘t said anything 😊
I feel you on the Tesla charging. It’s highly annoying to sit for 30 min lmaooo
My uncle does those kinds of silly gifts too 15:04
😍
Does anyone know what brand is her sunglasses she wore in the car? It's so cool ❤️ lol thanks
link to the white desk?? 😭😭
Just smile and be you 1:02
Lmfao😂 13:10
God has a plan for you Nikki! Your parents might’ve not planned you but Jesus did. You have a purpose. 💖