One generalised thing I can say is, when a man marries, his inlaws will treat him like a king. When he visits his inlaws, he is given VIP treatment without trying to prove anything. On the other hand, a girl will feel pressured and constantly judged by the inlaws. Can she cook, how is she treating our son, is she a gold digger, and so on and so forth. That means that when a girl's inlaws come to visit, the power dynamic is different. They have come to their brother's/ son's house. They feel like co owners of the home and want to be treated like the man of the home. 😂😂😂
One reason why I wouldn't waste my time settling with a religious leader is because the house is always full of people. I love my space. Relatives from the man side usually come with so much entitlement and judgement which is so annoying. One problem men have is bringing someone home without even notifying. In this era, I have no time for visitors who come for sleep overs without informing me. We are busy😅😂
Boundaries must be set buli omu agumire ewuwee💯i dont care if its my family or hubbys bambi buli muntu beera ewamwe and lets meet at family gatherings.
Wow! This was such a trigger video to watch but I am grateful to God for adulthood that taught me to extend grace. As someone who grew up in almost everyone's space, there are positive and negative experiences. By 6, both my parents were back to their creator leaving me with my grandmother and i believe we both didn't see the future. I remember being taken to my aunt because one of my cousins(her daughter ) saw a suffering little girl. Such luck hmmmmm! Thank God! Friends, first forward a tall beautiful teenager blooms and things turned in days after I arrived in town. I don't know how I can explain sibling rivalry, my height worked so much against me that I was seen and treated like an adult all the time. I was not allowed to be a child( we had young adult cousins too who always saw us as their helpers). The things my cousins said at times, how they don't eat meat because of the so many people, leaving their chores to us by now my other aunt had sent in her two sons to live with us, and later two children plus herself while she got treatment. Regardless, now that I am older, I extend a lot of grace, I now can do better but help from afar. The early morning routines, having to fight for chair cushions in the night etc. I am so grateful and actually pray and gravitate towards my aunt as a mother because of what she taught me and went through with us. I remember I had to ask for a ruler and her husband bought it for me.(when she saw it, she was mad, I can only imagine the backlash she got for my action) We were so many both from her hisband's side and hers. I am so proud of the woman that she is and I feel she deserves all the good things in this life. However I would like to speak to those that have little or even older orphans. Please extend grace,don't over work those little boys and girls. I can't explain the pain I went through with an injured spine from childhood. The 220-litre jerrycan of water is heavy for a 10 year old, irrespective of their height and perceived energy. One painful memory I have is having to run around doing all chores because my relatives thought I was swift and better option but I paid dearly with my spine. I was a point of debate as everyone wanted me for a holiday; whoever paid my schools fees that term had me for a helper the following holiday. The experiences were not so pleasant, but as time went on, I prayed for 18years so that I could make decisions for myself. So, it's bitter sweet but I choose the sweet now and learnt to forgive. I pray to do better so that others don't feel the pains I had. Thank you for the show ladies and a merry Christmas. I gave up the "busy cousin syndrome" and choose myself all the time. This Christmas I am planning for just me and my love, no visitors, no village. I beg to submit.
Oh my. I can identify with you. You probably did all the chores because you felt indebted. You felt like you had to earn the help you were getting. It is called survival mode. May God help every child to be raised in a loving environment with their parents 🙏
Thanks for the presentation..... I have been a mother and protector all my life. From protecting village granny being stoned by granddaughter. Being a school mom yet am a kid myself cause parents didn't buy necessary stuff for there kids. To being a second mom to my niece and nephew at 20yrs to date after my sister died. What I will say that I have learnt along the way it's important in all doing good not to lose Ur self. Love whole heartedly cause you don't know what U've done for that perticular person. I loved my babies and am proud to say it's a victory for me. Knowing there heard the best I could give. My son is 13yrs sis left him at one year..... daughter is 19 turning 20in December sis left her at 7years. Being a mother figure is the best gift... Seeing kids choose you to be there mother is a blessing. All said,tears cried, swearing heaven on earth in the end do what you and live the rest to christ
😂😂😂😂😂😂The hardest thing any woman will ever do is to get married to the bread winner of the family/clan most especially if all his siblings are not as financially stable as he is 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂.
Growing up never living in an extended family 😌till now it’s only 5 of us my parents and three of us as children ,what I know in childhood in case we get a visitor or relative my Dad would take a guest house for that relative.I remember one time my Aunty came my Dad rented for her because he knew that she would stay longer😀
Growing up in a home that always has visitors and having to always be shifted from my space it wasn't bad at the time but if I have children I am never shifting my children for anyone.....
Claire , Actually i have seen mothers who give up on children! And yes we are only human! We just choose not give up on children whether they are adopted or ours!
Thanks for this conversation, it has never been a walk in the park having stay in relatives. It is even harder for people who have grown up in families where relatives were always around because such people always desire to have their space compared to how they grew up.
We do extend the comfort but the fact that they want me to take care of them 💯 is what makes it a little harder. When my sis comes to my home I know l’ll not have to suffer trying to impress. If I had planned to eat popcorn that night we shall have that but if it’s the other side you have to go an extra mile
No no… they actually dont watch t.v upto 2am in their homes, they dont waste food at there’s or leave the water running with no care! They come to our homes to just be sloppy! Am all about helping them from a far!
😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂looooool. Imagine if you married their only Kampala relative/ the bread winner. You wouldn't have so much of a choice. Big up to all the women who have had to raise other children. It is tough to raise a human being 🤭🤭
Prim has a good point. Relatives on the husbands side whose wives have to take on the resposibilities. Its even worse when the uncle is cheating on his wife and the wife has to take care of his nieces and nephews. I used to feel sorry for my uncles wife. All the anger she had would be put on these kids from the husbands side.
This is an interesting conversation. I'm watching from Nairobi and can totally relate. Many of the accounts of people who had been sexually assaulted in childhood have been through the hands relatives. Parents have an obligation to protect the children under their care, either invited to live there or their own, when they invite relatives to stay over. Even older children have molested their younger cousins and siblings. If a parent is unsure about a relative, better rent a house nearby and help them from there. I would rather have small children in my room than them sleeping with older people in another room.
All I know they are people who appreciate n they are those who never appreciate so it's only God we look up to while helping others Thx ladies for sharing
One generalised thing I can say is, when a man marries, his inlaws will treat him like a king. When he visits his inlaws, he is given VIP treatment without trying to prove anything. On the other hand, a girl will feel pressured and constantly judged by the inlaws. Can she cook, how is she treating our son, is she a gold digger, and so on and so forth. That means that when a girl's inlaws come to visit, the power dynamic is different. They have come to their brother's/ son's house. They feel like co owners of the home and want to be treated like the man of the home. 😂😂😂
On point!
Prim, I'm so amazed at your GREAT eye contact with both Claire and Fiona...very very well done..and a massive kudos to your new look...you look fab!
One reason why I wouldn't waste my time settling with a religious leader is because the house is always full of people. I love my space. Relatives from the man side usually come with so much entitlement and judgement which is so annoying. One problem men have is bringing someone home without even notifying. In this era, I have no time for visitors who come for sleep overs without informing me. We are busy😅😂
Boundaries must be set buli omu agumire ewuwee💯i dont care if its my family or hubbys bambi buli muntu beera ewamwe and lets meet at family gatherings.
The outfits are to die for..all of them❤❤❤❤❤immense love
Wow! This was such a trigger video to watch but I am grateful to God for adulthood that taught me to extend grace.
As someone who grew up in almost everyone's space, there are positive and negative experiences. By 6, both my parents were back to their creator leaving me with my grandmother and i believe we both didn't see the future. I remember being taken to my aunt because one of my cousins(her daughter ) saw a suffering little girl. Such luck hmmmmm! Thank God!
Friends, first forward a tall beautiful teenager blooms and things turned in days after I arrived in town. I don't know how I can explain sibling rivalry, my height worked so much against me that I was seen and treated like an adult all the time. I was not allowed to be a child( we had young adult cousins too who always saw us as their helpers). The things my cousins said at times, how they don't eat meat because of the so many people, leaving their chores to us by now my other aunt had sent in her two sons to live with us, and later two children plus herself while she got treatment.
Regardless, now that I am older, I extend a lot of grace, I now can do better but help from afar. The early morning routines, having to fight for chair cushions in the night etc. I am so grateful and actually pray and gravitate towards my aunt as a mother because of what she taught me and went through with us. I remember I had to ask for a ruler and her husband bought it for me.(when she saw it, she was mad, I can only imagine the backlash she got for my action)
We were so many both from her hisband's side and hers. I am so proud of the woman that she is and I feel she deserves all the good things in this life.
However I would like to speak to those that have little or even older orphans. Please extend grace,don't over work those little boys and girls. I can't explain the pain I went through with an injured spine from childhood. The 220-litre jerrycan of water is heavy for a 10 year old, irrespective of their height and perceived energy.
One painful memory I have is having to run around doing all chores because my relatives thought I was swift and better option but I paid dearly with my spine.
I was a point of debate as everyone wanted me for a holiday; whoever paid my schools fees that term had me for a helper the following holiday. The experiences were not so pleasant, but as time went on, I prayed for 18years so that I could make decisions for myself. So, it's bitter sweet but I choose the sweet now and learnt to forgive. I pray to do better so that others don't feel the pains I had.
Thank you for the show ladies and a merry Christmas. I gave up the "busy cousin syndrome" and choose myself all the time. This Christmas I am planning for just me and my love, no visitors, no village. I beg to submit.
Thank you for sharing. I'm glad you came out of it and were able to forgive, and you're even helping others. God bless you. Merry Christmas!!
Oh my. I can identify with you. You probably did all the chores because you felt indebted. You felt like you had to earn the help you were getting. It is called survival mode. May God help every child to be raised in a loving environment with their parents 🙏
😢 Thank you for sharing your experience. ❤and grace! We, indeed, will extend the grace. 🙏🏽
Thanks for the presentation.....
I have been a mother and protector all my life.
From protecting village granny being stoned by granddaughter.
Being a school mom yet am a kid myself cause parents didn't buy necessary stuff for there kids.
To being a second mom to my niece and nephew at 20yrs to date after my sister died.
What I will say that I have learnt along the way it's important in all doing good not to lose Ur self.
Love whole heartedly cause you don't know what U've done for that perticular person.
I loved my babies and am proud to say it's a victory for me.
Knowing there heard the best I could give.
My son is 13yrs sis left him at one year..... daughter is 19 turning 20in December sis left her at 7years.
Being a mother figure is the best gift...
Seeing kids choose you to be there mother is a blessing.
All said,tears cried, swearing heaven on earth in the end do what you and live the rest to christ
😂😂😂😂😂😂The hardest thing any woman will ever do is to get married to the bread winner of the family/clan most especially if all his siblings are not as financially stable as he is 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂.
Clan 🤣🤣🤣
Growing up never living in an extended family 😌till now it’s only 5 of us my parents and three of us as children ,what I know in childhood in case we get a visitor or relative my Dad would take a guest house for that relative.I remember one time my Aunty came my Dad rented for her because he knew that she would stay longer😀
Growing up in a home that always has visitors and having to always be shifted from my space it wasn't bad at the time but if I have children I am never shifting my children for anyone.....
Claire ,
Actually i have seen mothers who give up on children! And yes we are only human! We just choose not give up on children whether they are adopted or ours!
Thanks for this conversation, it has never been a walk in the park having stay in relatives. It is even harder for people who have grown up in families where relatives were always around because such people always desire to have their space compared to how they grew up.
We do extend the comfort but the fact that they want me to take care of them 💯 is what makes it a little harder. When my sis comes to my home I know l’ll not have to suffer trying to impress. If I had planned to eat popcorn that night we shall have that but if it’s the other side you have to go an extra mile
This was a very good conversation and for some reason you all were composed 😂😂😂. I loved it.
No no… they actually dont watch t.v upto 2am in their homes, they dont waste food at there’s or leave the water running with no care! They come to our homes to just be sloppy! Am all about helping them from a far!
😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂looooool. Imagine if you married their only Kampala relative/ the bread winner. You wouldn't have so much of a choice. Big up to all the women who have had to raise other children. It is tough to raise a human being 🤭🤭
@@anonnona6433 that’s the importance of these conversations before marriage! Some shocks can be avoided
Prim has a good point. Relatives on the husbands side whose wives have to take on the resposibilities. Its even worse when the uncle is cheating on his wife and the wife has to take care of his nieces and nephews. I used to feel sorry for my uncles wife. All the anger she had would be put on these kids from the husbands side.
This is an interesting conversation. I'm watching from Nairobi and can totally relate.
Many of the accounts of people who had been sexually assaulted in childhood have been through the hands relatives. Parents have an obligation to protect the children under their care, either invited to live there or their own, when they invite relatives to stay over. Even older children have molested their younger cousins and siblings. If a parent is unsure about a relative, better rent a house nearby and help them from there. I would rather have small children in my room than them sleeping with older people in another room.
I like your dressing
This was timely, I do my best and leave the rest to God, am at the age where I don’t please people but do the best from my heart
Kemi this episode was really hitting you hard 😊...on a personal level hihi
This topic🔥🔥🧯... I have listened to this for like 4 times ... What a remedy
Great material. You had my full attention on 'working on your friendship'. Blessed holidays to you all!
I like the fact that you girls are real and share from your heart thank you
Very sensitive and insightful topic.
All I know they are people who appreciate n they are those who never appreciate so it's only God we look up to while helping others Thx ladies for sharing
A very important topic. Thank you ladies.
Y’all look very lovely btw.
Just timely😂
Here we are
claire you are so smart..❤
My girls here looking good❤❤❤Love you mwena💞👊
Great episode and rounded conversation. Well done ladies of the Unpopular Opinion
This topic 👌
It’s Jst holidays and a few days I don’t see how hard it is to stay with in-laws.
What if they are staying longer than the holidays 😂
Can't believe Prim is almost Fiona's size now 😮
Ilove u ladies😀😍I’m your fun from Tanzania 🇹🇿
And the reason,is because your child is you …you can only extend empathy to others but they can’t be you or your children if they are not.
Space is important lets learn to gv pipo space ❤
Reminds me of a movie Osofia in London 😂😂 when he had gone to inherit the brother’s property and found his white fiancée 😮😁
😅😅😅😅😅😂😂😂😂😂😂
The number of times i have paused this video because i feel triggered😂😂😂😂 i ask myself y i got married…
Oh babe. I'm sorry about the triggers. Family is delicate territory for most of us. Know that it isn't just you ❤
❤
Women we have seen days😂😂😂talk about taking long to give birth. It's always a woman 😂😂😂
My cousins almost poisoned my mum😂😂😂😂😂😂
Mkp