Every No gets you closer to a Yes. And every yes sows confidence. I’m brand new to social dancing but not to rejection 😂. So I can say with confidence that just as important as developing dancing skills is to develop the ability to accept and also to deliver a no with grace. Treating others with respect and kindness is how to make everything (not just dancing) fun and satisfying. Expect no in life, don’t take it personally… reframe it and move on to a yes!
I feel the rule of thumb for anyone is to simply say a version of "no, thank you" if you don't want to or can't. You can gesture out a reason (i.e. point to your drink, fan your face with your hand, point to your feet like they hurt, point to your ear and the sound in the air and then say, "next song?", point to your phone, or gesture between you and your friend who you were speaking to when you were approached). Doing the "It's not you, it's me" thing is always just a really common way to get them to move on.
I agree with the mention that women can and should ask to dance as much as men do. There is nothing worse than going to a club and seeing a bunch of women standing there waiting for somone to notice them. It's lame for both men and women
I agree with every point here other than the "white lie instead of direct NO" thingy To be honest as a guy I'd rather have a girl give me a direct "No Thank You" instead of that "Sorry I need to do bla bla" stuff and later find out she was lying Maybe because I've worked on my self esteem long enough to be able to handle a NO But trust me ladies you can just say "No Thank You" and every guy can handle it rather than have to do all this effort Great video though thanks you!
This past summer the dynamics were just not there to really enjoy social dancing...50% capacity, double cover charges and too many people just hanging out chatting on the edges of the dance floor instead of leaving the space for those wanting to dance. I've taken a leave to do other activities for a while. Usually I really enjoy dancing. Wonderful tips though.
I just started going to a dance club , all the women won't dance with a beginner and only experienced dancers unfortunately. But in reality it would be difficult from their vantage point so I understand 100%.
@BachataDanceAcademy thanks for the encouragement, I went to my first beginner bachata lesson and they said I have rythm and should pick things up pretty quickly. Thanks to your videos I t helped me get a little head start 😊
I sometimes want to cool off and say no by gesturing that in a little bit I’ll be ready, but it has happened that a friend might show up and ask me to dance and I get excited to see them and want to dance with them… and then I realize I just told the other guy no….. but by then it’s too late. Please no hard feelings guys. If it’s a pattern with the same person, then that’s a diff story 😆
Guys, especially for ladies, Is a matter of Age. I do dance since when I was 20, now I am 50. Before i didn't miss a single dance, either with locals or in foreign places. Now I have to beg for someone to dance with and sometimes they also refuse . So frustrating.
I think the last story was the most important. I have never been any social dance event where was more guy than girl, so be very careful. If the guy ask you to dance and he is a beginner you just enjoy those steps even just the very basics. I have 8-10 girls in my town who didn't enjoy the dance with me when I was a begginer. Any of them ask today to dance I instantly say NO! I dance those ones who smiled and give me "false or true" positive feedback.
It's definitely a learning experience and something you have to get use to when you get a no response. I remember the first time at the dance club the gal said no too tired then 2 minutes later she's dancing. It's ok though, that's her prerogative. It's getting better as I know which gals don't dance with beginners 😁
When she right out rejects you, crossing her arms in front of her saying "No, thanks.." and going to the dance floor 30sec later. That is the person I won't ask to a dance even tho this was 5 years ago already
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Any reasonable person will understand that you are still learning If someone didn’t like that I was learning (and messing some steps) then I can dance with someone else
When dancing with less skilled women, I just try to find the moves that she can do/get to her level and do the more basic moves. Occasionally you can try to push her a little bit if she mentions that she wants to improve.
@@zhhrah thanks! I think that’s what the men do that I dance with and if I mess up I ask them to try it again so I can do it and recognize the signal :)
@@dalmalifemore That’s also how the ladies, that I’ve danced with, react and they’re always thankful for the input. And even from these same ladies, I sometimes get a little bit of advice when I’ve given an unclear command. You can learn literally from everybody you’ve danced with. 😄
Once I asked a girl to dance, and she needed to tie her shoes. So, she sat down and tied her shoes and didn’t get up until like 2 mins. Another lady passed by and asked me, I politely declined her as I asked this girl. Never asked that girl again.
Rule #1 of how to dance more when you go out Ask people to dance, whether you're a lead or a follow is irrelevant I'm a lead and I have never once told a follow no when asked to dance, and I'm always happy to dance with anyone regardless of ability, age, gender or whatever. With respect to who to ask, people close to the dance floor/on the dance floor or people you've met in the workshop before the social (which you probably went to if you're watching this video because you're new to the dancing world and trying to learn) is usually a good idea
Hi there Andy, We checked and there is no account with the name "Andy Fan" anywhere in our system. Please email us directly at hello@bachatadanceacademy.com so we can help you locate your account :)
Every No gets you closer to a Yes. And every yes sows confidence. I’m brand new to social dancing but not to rejection 😂. So I can say with confidence that just as important as developing dancing skills is to develop the ability to accept and also to deliver a no with grace. Treating others with respect and kindness is how to make everything (not just dancing) fun and satisfying. Expect no in life, don’t take it personally… reframe it and move on to a yes!
thanks for sharing!
I feel the rule of thumb for anyone is to simply say a version of "no, thank you" if you don't want to or can't. You can gesture out a reason (i.e. point to your drink, fan your face with your hand, point to your feet like they hurt, point to your ear and the sound in the air and then say, "next song?", point to your phone, or gesture between you and your friend who you were speaking to when you were approached). Doing the "It's not you, it's me" thing is always just a really common way to get them to move on.
good point! thanks for sharing :)
I never say no to a lady who asks me to dance. If you say yes, they will ask you again. Keep dancing.
that's wonderful!
As a lead I look for followers who can't stand still. Even if they are in a conversation that's good sign they would like a dance.
that's awesome advice!
I agree with the mention that women can and should ask to dance as much as men do. There is nothing worse than going to a club and seeing a bunch of women standing there waiting for somone to notice them. It's lame for both men and women
😊👍
I agree with every point here other than the "white lie instead of direct NO" thingy
To be honest as a guy I'd rather have a girl give me a direct "No Thank You" instead of that "Sorry I need to do bla bla" stuff and later find out she was lying
Maybe because I've worked on my self esteem long enough to be able to handle a NO
But trust me ladies you can just say "No Thank You" and every guy can handle it rather than have to do all this effort
Great video though thanks you!
thanks!
great life advice !
Thanks!
This past summer the dynamics were just not there to really enjoy social dancing...50% capacity, double cover charges and too many people just hanging out chatting on the edges of the dance floor instead of leaving the space for those wanting to dance. I've taken a leave to do other activities for a while. Usually I really enjoy dancing. Wonderful tips though.
Well we are back at full capacity in most places which will make the holiday season a lot of fun for dancing!
I just started going to a dance club , all the women won't dance with a beginner and only experienced dancers unfortunately. But in reality it would be difficult from their vantage point so I understand 100%.
You got this! Don't be discouraged! Every great dancer was once a beginner
@BachataDanceAcademy thanks for the encouragement, I went to my first beginner bachata lesson and they said I have rythm and should pick things up pretty quickly.
Thanks to your videos I t helped me get a little head start 😊
my favorite is the finger wave no, it looks rude and kinda mean. Lots of girls so say yes though, you have to look around the room to see whos open.
I sometimes want to cool off and say no by gesturing that in a little bit I’ll be ready, but it has happened that a friend might show up and ask me to dance and I get excited to see them and want to dance with them… and then I realize I just told the other guy no….. but by then it’s too late. Please no hard feelings guys. If it’s a pattern with the same person, then that’s a diff story 😆
thanks for sharing!
can't you just ask the guy to dance? Women can and should ask as much as men
Guys, especially for ladies, Is a matter of Age. I do dance since when I was 20, now I am 50. Before i didn't miss a single dance, either with locals or in foreign places. Now I have to beg for someone to dance with and sometimes they also refuse . So frustrating.
thanks for sharing your experience
I think the last story was the most important. I have never been any social dance event where was more guy than girl, so be very careful. If the guy ask you to dance and he is a beginner you just enjoy those steps even just the very basics. I have 8-10 girls in my town who didn't enjoy the dance with me when I was a begginer. Any of them ask today to dance I instantly say NO! I dance those ones who smiled and give me "false or true" positive feedback.
thank you for sharing your experience
It's definitely a learning experience and something you have to get use to when you get a no response. I remember the first time at the dance club the gal said no too tired then 2 minutes later she's dancing. It's ok though, that's her prerogative.
It's getting better as I know which gals don't dance with beginners 😁
When she right out rejects you, crossing her arms in front of her saying "No, thanks.." and going to the dance floor 30sec later. That is the person I won't ask to a dance even tho this was 5 years ago already
sorry to hear that happened
Hey did your instagram page get taken down ? I don't see it anymore
Hey! We are having some issues with our Instagram page 👍🙏🏾 Been trying to handle that this whole week, hopefully we can get it back up and running again soon 💃🕺🏾
How do men feel about dancing with women who are not as skilled? I always feel self conscious when I mess up but I keep going
Any reasonable person will understand that you are still learning
If someone didn’t like that I was learning (and messing some steps) then I can dance with someone else
I fully agree with Brian. The mess is really not a big deal unless you are in a competition. Laugh together at it and enjoy your dance instead.
When dancing with less skilled women, I just try to find the moves that she can do/get to her level and do the more basic moves. Occasionally you can try to push her a little bit if she mentions that she wants to improve.
@@zhhrah thanks! I think that’s what the men do that I dance with and if I mess up I ask them to try it again so I can do it and recognize the signal :)
@@dalmalifemore That’s also how the ladies, that I’ve danced with, react and they’re always thankful for the input. And even from these same ladies, I sometimes get a little bit of advice when I’ve given an unclear command. You can learn literally from everybody you’ve danced with. 😄
❤
🙏
🎉🎉🎉🎉
🙌🏼
Once I asked a girl to dance, and she needed to tie her shoes. So, she sat down and tied her shoes and didn’t get up until like 2 mins. Another lady passed by and asked me, I politely declined her as I asked this girl. Never asked that girl again.
thank you for sharing your experience with us
Rule #1 of how to dance more when you go out
Ask people to dance, whether you're a lead or a follow is irrelevant
I'm a lead and I have never once told a follow no when asked to dance, and I'm always happy to dance with anyone regardless of ability, age, gender or whatever.
With respect to who to ask, people close to the dance floor/on the dance floor or people you've met in the workshop before the social (which you probably went to if you're watching this video because you're new to the dancing world and trying to learn) is usually a good idea
great input 👍
Ladies don't be shy to put you hands out to a guy, most men will not refuse, to dance only those who think they are above you!
grat encouragement!
I feel like you have to be a great dancer to get girls to dance with you.
being a great dancer does help, but there are ladies out there that are very kind and do not mind dancing with a beginner.
Guys said no too then 2 second later they're dancing with another girl :'
sorry to hear that happened.
Im learning as a beginner to ask other beginners, they always say yes !
Perfect!
sorry to interrup ,i need to have a refund,because i buy the same course twice,you can check my purchasing record please
Hi there Andy,
We checked and there is no account with the name "Andy Fan" anywhere in our system. Please email us directly at hello@bachatadanceacademy.com so we can help you locate your account :)