The fact that so many people are really willing to overlook the last family’s blatant ableism because they found it weird OP carries his wife is very disappointing.
For sotry 3 i respect the wife for being so quick to forgive but she is not the end all be all decision for op to go to the wedding Just because he is family with them doesn't mean he wants to go and i wouldn't be shocked if op juts lost all interest after they said what they said about his wife
I think the wife is more of a people pleaser and wants to keep the peace. I think OP is right they aren't sincerely sorry they just want them there for appearances.
in that situation i would be so mad with my family that even if i broke up with her i would still not want to reconcile, so i´m with op in this, he is the one that has to forgive them because he was the one that got betrayed
@@rogueshark23 he says that but it honestly doesn't seem that way. They genuinely offered way more concessions than would be necessary even for it to be just to save face. Most people trying to make up to save face usually just barely throw out a 'sorry' but they offered him all that stuff. I doubt it was just to save face. I think they genuinely want him there, but just don't want him to do his cringe Luke and Yoda impression at the wedding.
@@sweeety969 I really think also that their problem is his attention seeking behavior while with his wife, making a big deal of carrying her everywhere. I really haven't seen behavior like that, and most people I know with limited mobility are very independent and wouldn't permit such smothering behavior. And because she is a people pleaser she doesn't know how to stop him from doing this for fear of hurting his feelings.
Or do. It's up to each individual to decide for themselves. Just because one person has had a bad experience, doesn't mean everyone will. I'd rather not tell someone not to do something at all, and instead tell them to be cautious about who they do it with. We're here to give advice after all, not tell someone how to live their life.
@@Bakagajin14This. People can and should be able do this if they want to. They're adults who are responsible for themselves. I don't want to, nor is it my place to tell people what to do when it has nothing to do with me. Trying to make others behave as you'd prefer them to is only going to result in frustration. My personal belief is that if I send anything, (messages, pictures, videos) I do so knowing it could end up in front of anyone. I think it's common sense that taking and sending compromising photos of yourself is foolish if you would be embarrassed by them being made public.
@@Bakagajin14”and instead tell them to be cautious about who they do it with.” But it was a long term partner. She thought she could trust him, but look where it got her. I’m hearing more and more stories of women who have had naked pictures put online that they sent to their partners. Once you send them, it’s fair game. If you can live with that, then more power to you. But I will not be giving anything that would compromise myself and more women should heed that thought too.
2) I hope the OP still keeps an eye out as this man is really dangerous. Sounds like those cases where the crazy ex murders the girlfriend that dumps them.
My ex is a keen photographer who used to develop his own photos. He kept pushing me to pose naked for him. He used to get very angry because I always refused. That was in the 60s long before mobiles.
When they get that angry and persistent, best to sleep somewhere else! There was a story of a husband who was taking pictures of his wife naked while she slept and sent them to his ex wife. The would make fun of her and called her a white whale. They just enjoyed being rude about her to each other and she found them on his phone. Didn’t end well!
Am i the only one that thinks Bea's diagnosis is either exaggerated or made up, she's nothing but an attention seeker, is she the golden child by any chance
S3: I could understand OP carrying her everywhere. Sure she has a wheelchair and can use it, but if you love someone, why wouldn't you be their support? It all comes down to how the wife feels about it: if she isn't comfortable with it, then its problematic, but if not, then people are just attacking a man for being a loving and supportive husband. Either way it feels like a slap in the face for the wife to act like this. Sure she can be an idiot and forgive these ableist people. She can even go to the wedding. But, she has no right to force that on anyone else.
As a wheelchair user I felt incredibly uncomfortable with the last story. Like he’s her wheelchair?? No. It feels incredibly controlling and the real reason why his family doesn’t want the wife there. Like if he carries her everywhere then yeah makes sense why they wouldn’t want her there.
@@Tuturial464 everyone can use a wheelchair. It doesn’t have to be a manual one. There are wheelchairs for quads that have you blow air and that’s how you move it. And it’s she’s be paralyzed since she was 11 she’d have had a wheelchair.
I feel like your just one wheelchair user, we don't know how they first fell in love, we don't know why he started carrying her, we don't know much other that he loves his wife and she's not a burden
So is he. Not for this particular incident (where in hell does his sis get the idea that a brother should be at his sister's side during her wedding?), but for what seems like him almost smothering her with help and concern. He should not be carrying her everywhere.
@@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259 It's humiliating. Sure it might seem sweet at first but like, think of it from the wife's perspective, she's being slung on his back like a fanny pack everytime she so much as needs to piss, and everybody else is just there watching. Or imagine they're at the head table at the wedding, and they're about to do the speeches and all of a sudden he stands up and fireman carries his wife to the john. It's infantilizing and ridiculous. She's a grown woman, it's not cute. It's embarrassing.
I was with the 3rd OP until he mentioned he carries his wife around everywhere (literally everywhere) and started saying all that cringe hero complex shit about being her wheelchair. The fact he's acting offended on her behalf long after she stopped being angry is also telling. It seems he infantillizes his disabled wife and has no foresight like his family says. Like, imagine ten, twenty years from now, how he's gonna break his back carrying her places when he doesn't need to because she has a literal chair and other aides but he wants to play the big strong hero. Yikes. Big Yikes. And super embarrassing for the family. I see why they wouldn't want him to bring her. The way the spotlight would shift from the happy couple on their wedding day because he's trying to show off that he cares for his disabled wife by carrying her around like fucking Yoda? Brother Eugh.
@emperorconstantinexipalaio4121 yes his behaviour is odd but they literally called her a burden there is no recovery in my head their. Its either OTT husband or ablist monsters. I think I know who I'm choosing.
3) I think the OP is limiting his wife's independance by carrying her everywhere. Okay once in a while but, unless she has upper body damage, he is limiting her and that's unhealthy for them both. Sounds almost like the OP has a Saviour complex.
Agree. He is so young, and he thinks he is her savior and that he will always be able to do everything. If his back goes out while lifting her, unnecessarily I might add, HE will be the disabled one. She should use a wheelchair or whatever is needed to maximize her independence.
She does have a wheelchair he say that he carries her because he loves her, which is sweet considering the millions that have/would abandon a disable partner.
That is what he does. He is her legs. As for at home. It may not be able to accommodate a wheelchair. He's been with her since they were kids. He loves her completely. He knows how to handle her. She knows all of this. It's just part of the way they handle her situation. Carrying your parent/spouse/SO/kid is actually common. Not to mention that wheelchairs aren't luxury recliners.
The fact that so many people are really willing to overlook the last family’s blatant ableism because they found it weird OP carries his wife is very disappointing.
It wouldn't be surprised if Bea suddenly is well again, well after the wedding of course.
For sotry 3 i respect the wife for being so quick to forgive but she is not the end all be all decision for op to go to the wedding
Just because he is family with them doesn't mean he wants to go and i wouldn't be shocked if op juts lost all interest after they said what they said about his wife
I think the wife is more of a people pleaser and wants to keep the peace. I think OP is right they aren't sincerely sorry they just want them there for appearances.
The wife has no respect for herself. Without OP defending her, she would've gotten more than just verbal abuse from his family.
in that situation i would be so mad with my family that even if i broke up with her i would still not want to reconcile, so i´m with op in this, he is the one that has to forgive them because he was the one that got betrayed
@@rogueshark23 he says that but it honestly doesn't seem that way. They genuinely offered way more concessions than would be necessary even for it to be just to save face. Most people trying to make up to save face usually just barely throw out a 'sorry' but they offered him all that stuff. I doubt it was just to save face. I think they genuinely want him there, but just don't want him to do his cringe Luke and Yoda impression at the wedding.
@@sweeety969 I really think also that their problem is his attention seeking behavior while with his wife, making a big deal of carrying her everywhere. I really haven't seen behavior like that, and most people I know with limited mobility are very independent and wouldn't permit such smothering behavior. And because she is a people pleaser she doesn't know how to stop him from doing this for fear of hurting his feelings.
Were all dying slowly if you think about it Bea 😂
Don't send naked pics. Just don't.
Or do. It's up to each individual to decide for themselves. Just because one person has had a bad experience, doesn't mean everyone will.
I'd rather not tell someone not to do something at all, and instead tell them to be cautious about who they do it with.
We're here to give advice after all, not tell someone how to live their life.
@@Bakagajin14This. People can and should be able do this if they want to. They're adults who are responsible for themselves. I don't want to, nor is it my place to tell people what to do when it has nothing to do with me. Trying to make others behave as you'd prefer them to is only going to result in frustration.
My personal belief is that if I send anything, (messages, pictures, videos) I do so knowing it could end up in front of anyone. I think it's common sense that taking and sending compromising photos of yourself is foolish if you would be embarrassed by them being made public.
@@Bakagajin14”and instead tell them to be cautious about who they do it with.” But it was a long term partner. She thought she could trust him, but look where it got her. I’m hearing more and more stories of women who have had naked pictures put online that they sent to their partners. Once you send them, it’s fair game. If you can live with that, then more power to you. But I will not be giving anything that would compromise myself and more women should heed that thought too.
2) I hope the OP still keeps an eye out as this man is really dangerous. Sounds like those cases where the crazy ex murders the girlfriend that dumps them.
My ex is a keen photographer who used to develop his own photos. He kept pushing me to pose naked for him. He used to get very angry because I always refused. That was in the 60s long before mobiles.
That was very smart of you.
.... I have heard some pre-Internet stories about that. They did not end well usually.
You were very smart.
When they get that angry and persistent, best to sleep somewhere else!
There was a story of a husband who was taking pictures of his wife naked while she slept and sent them to his ex wife. The would make fun of her and called her a white whale. They just enjoyed being rude about her to each other and she found them on his phone. Didn’t end well!
I just now noticed your profile picture. Now I can't help but imagine a tiny mouse sitting on a stool, narrating these stories.
Sharing naked pics is not the norm! Dont do it!
IKR? Where does she get the idea that it is, even if it is 2024? Just brainwashing by her ex. She is really damaged.
Am i the only one that thinks Bea's diagnosis is either exaggerated or made up, she's nothing but an attention seeker, is she the golden child by any chance
OP had the proper reaction. and wife undermined him. not a good predictor of future success
S3: I could understand OP carrying her everywhere. Sure she has a wheelchair and can use it, but if you love someone, why wouldn't you be their support? It all comes down to how the wife feels about it: if she isn't comfortable with it, then its problematic, but if not, then people are just attacking a man for being a loving and supportive husband.
Either way it feels like a slap in the face for the wife to act like this. Sure she can be an idiot and forgive these ableist people. She can even go to the wedding. But, she has no right to force that on anyone else.
That is not loving and supportive. It is just attention grabbing behavior, like people who always do PDAs when in the company of others.
@@shells500tutuboNot really. You’re clearly just lonely and mad lol
As a wheelchair user I felt incredibly uncomfortable with the last story. Like he’s her wheelchair?? No. It feels incredibly controlling and the real reason why his family doesn’t want the wife there. Like if he carries her everywhere then yeah makes sense why they wouldn’t want her there.
We don't even know what that means. Could mean supportive. She may have been unable to use one
@@Tuturial464 everyone can use a wheelchair. It doesn’t have to be a manual one. There are wheelchairs for quads that have you blow air and that’s how you move it. And it’s she’s be paralyzed since she was 11 she’d have had a wheelchair.
Could be some circumstances. @@Kylie-lp9wp
@Kylie-lp9wp okay mr know it all. Like you know the ops life
I feel like your just one wheelchair user, we don't know how they first fell in love, we don't know why he started carrying her, we don't know much other that he loves his wife and she's not a burden
I really need to know what minecraft channel this is rofl because I love the builds
wife is 21 years old. still very immature.
So is he. Not for this particular incident (where in hell does his sis get the idea that a brother should be at his sister's side during her wedding?), but for what seems like him almost smothering her with help and concern. He should not be carrying her everywhere.
Dude, he literally carries her everywhere. How can he not get that through his head.
Wym? It's weird but still
@@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259 It's humiliating. Sure it might seem sweet at first but like, think of it from the wife's perspective, she's being slung on his back like a fanny pack everytime she so much as needs to piss, and everybody else is just there watching. Or imagine they're at the head table at the wedding, and they're about to do the speeches and all of a sudden he stands up and fireman carries his wife to the john. It's infantilizing and ridiculous. She's a grown woman, it's not cute. It's embarrassing.
@@sweeety969 i know. His comment was unclear though.
@@sweeety969Did the wife say so? The mental gymnastics you’re using are crazy
Really dont care. Love and marriage can be decided
W STREAM
I was with the 3rd OP until he mentioned he carries his wife around everywhere (literally everywhere) and started saying all that cringe hero complex shit about being her wheelchair. The fact he's acting offended on her behalf long after she stopped being angry is also telling. It seems he infantillizes his disabled wife and has no foresight like his family says. Like, imagine ten, twenty years from now, how he's gonna break his back carrying her places when he doesn't need to because she has a literal chair and other aides but he wants to play the big strong hero. Yikes. Big Yikes. And super embarrassing for the family. I see why they wouldn't want him to bring her. The way the spotlight would shift from the happy couple on their wedding day because he's trying to show off that he cares for his disabled wife by carrying her around like fucking Yoda? Brother Eugh.
Maybe they should just disinvite HIM?
Weird way to justify ableism lol
@@shells500tutuboBut their problem isn’t with him. They clearly said it’s the wife because they’re ableist af.
@emperorconstantinexipalaio4121 yes his behaviour is odd but they literally called her a burden there is no recovery in my head their. Its either OTT husband or ablist monsters. I think I know who I'm choosing.
3) I think the OP is limiting his wife's independance by carrying her everywhere. Okay once in a while but, unless she has upper body damage, he is limiting her and that's unhealthy for them both. Sounds almost like the OP has a Saviour complex.
Agree. He is so young, and he thinks he is her savior and that he will always be able to do everything. If his back goes out while lifting her, unnecessarily I might add, HE will be the disabled one. She should use a wheelchair or whatever is needed to maximize her independence.
Seriously why is he carrying her around all the time. Let her use a wheelchair
@@Tuturial464 Did you not listen? OP literally said he carries her & is her wheelchair.
Well clealry because attention span and its about being supportive, maybe there is a reason. @commoguru
She does have a wheelchair he say that he carries her because he loves her, which is sweet considering the millions that have/would abandon a disable partner.
That is what he does. He is her legs. As for at home. It may not be able to accommodate a wheelchair. He's been with her since they were kids. He loves her completely. He knows how to handle her. She knows all of this. It's just part of the way they handle her situation.
Carrying your parent/spouse/SO/kid is actually common. Not to mention that wheelchairs aren't luxury recliners.
@@commoguru okay buddy but you didn't actually answer the question of why he carries her everywhere, you just restated that he does
First
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Actually Secret voices is first, technically, if you really think about it.