I lived a lie for 48 years.... I also struggled with the mythology issue that was torn apart inside me. You identity getting ripped apart after 48 years is tough. Growing up as a child I always felt alone, that I wasn't bonded to my parents, especially my mother, just as Dani discusses. I also found my biological family very quickly and that helped me immensely. It's almost like my mind or my soul, knew I wasn't alone. It's been 10 years and this story is the first one that has really hit home with me.
I found out about an hour after my Mom died, in 2018 that the Dad I grew up my entire life with is not my biological Dad, thru an uncle. It was definitely a double whammy that day. The only information they had was they think my biological Dad died in Vietnam.
@@joelled1829 Joelle, I feel your pain there. I found out about my biological father Jan. of last year and soon after learned he had passed away. Literally just this week a biological cousin I reached out to on Ancestry sent me the second ever photo of him that I've seen. One from when he was about 12 or 13 and the resemblance (and quality of the photo itself) is amazing. If you can find maybe some old yearbook photos or something it may bring you some peace. It did for me. There have been strange moments throughout my life where I questioned the identity of my father, too difficult to explain in a youtube comment but I think I understand what you've been feeling. We don't always get the best hand, but I guess we work with what we've got. Be strong, and know you can get to know him by looking inward. So much of what makes you yourself comes from him! Sending lots of warm thoughts your way.
If you're talking biology than he's not her father. But a man that raised you can be your dad. And I can't believe that I actually have to explain that to you. Lol
I can’t even believe we would ask the question “do children have the right to know” yes yes yes a thousand times yes. I have six children. Three biological from my husband and I, one we adopted as a three month old, one we adopted/received donated embryos made from a wonderful couple who used his sperm and an egg donor- I carried and gave birth to that child, and one we adopted from the foster system. We tell every child from day 1 what their special story is. It all makes up our crazy loving family.
Thank you for being honest with your adopted kids. I can't stand it when parents hide the truth or lie to the kids about their origin. To me it's like the parents are ashamed of the process and or afraid that the kids will turn on them and run off with their biological parents. Sometimes it's the complete opposite.
April Adare I totally agree. Actually, during our embryo matching process we were almost matched with a family but I was unable to meet two of their requests. 1. She (the mother) never wanted her children to know they had used an egg donor 2. She never wanted her children to know she had used a gestational carrier. I know that I wouldn’t have ever gone and intentionally told that information (it’s not mine to tell) but I also would have told the child I had (the genetic sibling to her children) of her donor mom etc etc. Anyway- secrets have a way of coming out and I didn’t want to be a part of keeping one. We became friends but decided we weren’t a match for embryo donation.
You’re absolutely incorrect. Children have a birthright to know about themselves and their origins. It is the only ethical thing to do, to share with them how they came to be and who their biological parents are. You simply could not be more wrong. If you are not a child of parents other than those who raised you, or a child psychologist, you aren’t qualified to speak to this.
When family's keep secrets like this they dont realize how much it DOES affect you. Spoken or not look at this woman she said all those years she felt that disconnect I can relate it's like scrambling to fit yourself into a box not meant for you for a lifetime.
I never knew my dad but had his name and was told he didn’t want to be involved. After my mom passed i needed a bone marrow transplant for leukemia (CML). My family contacted my father and through dna I found out he was not my dad. There’s now no way to find the man who probably doesn’t know he had a daughter.
@@bettyboopwolfe9471 even if he might not be alive you could find other family members. If you are at peace with not knowing than that's ok also. Hope your health is better ❤️❤️
How old are you? Men who didn't know they had kids are being found every day - dna testing databases. You find a 100% paternity match, or, a relative of his and then go from there to narrow down his identity. Now there could be exceptions - what if he was an orphan / has passed + has no other living family, etc. Oh course it's hard to hear that he didn't want to be involved, but if you're curious perhaps with persistence u can hear it from the horse's mouth
I am happy she learned the truth, and happy she had a father of the heart. Learning her beloved father was not her biological father was heartbreaking, but, she had a good father who loved her, and who she loved. So many people do not have good parents. It is a blessing to have good parents who love you, and who you love.
It was never her father she had. It was just some guy she called as such. She also did not embrace that guy completely as she went out and "found her real father". If you really want to argue medical science, you need to come with much better arguments.
My mom lied to me for 30 years.She hated my real dad so she kept me from him.The man she said was my dad died at the hand of my grandmother when I was 5.
Same thing happened to me with my father. I bought it for him as a fathers day present, a few weeks later we get the results, happy fathers day pops. My biological mother refuses to believe it and won't tell me anything.
@@theresag1969 she wont tell me cause she doesn't know. I have health problems but my main concern is for my daughter. Always good to know for the health background alone. Also worth noting my biological mother left the scene before I turned 1. She obviously needed a man to raise her child, latched onto my dad at the early stages of her pregnancy,told him I was his and then left. She also abandoned another child with a different man a few years before I was born but gave him up when he was 4. Also the people that raised me are my parents and the nest parents I could have wished for. Everyone is entitled to know where they came from etc.
This exact same thing just happened to me. I just found out on Friday. My mom is dead and my biological father so I can’t ask them why they did this to me.
I’m so deeply sorry. That has to be incredibly painful. There should be support groups for people in your situation. My guess is they hoped against hope you would never know the difference. It would have totally turned their stature in society upside-down for their friends, family, and work associates to learn of an adultery back then. They may have also rationalized that it would have affected you in a harmful way, because a resulting divorce in their day may have landed you in poverty and social shunning by families of kids who would have become your friends. You might have been very lonely as “the kid whose mother cheated and whose parents are divorced”. Divorce was shameful back then. They chose to keep their world calm and bearable for themselves and probably thought it was best for you. They assumed you would never know the difference and be fine. They couldn’t have been more wrong about this. They took a gamble and lost. I’m sorry they aren’t here to listen to your agony and hear personally what this has done to you. Is the dad who raised you alive? How has he responded? How are you doing now? Sending best wishes your way.
This happened to me a month ago. My mom and biological father are still living. no one will accept responsibility. I’m 58 my mom won’t tell me how, when, where, or why. My biological father is denying me even though I have proof. I feel so empty inside.
I have enormous respect for both this charming and thoughtful lady and for the interviewer as well. We are viewing a quiet and thoughtful lady with enormous depth. The interviewer responds by asking respectful, tasteful questions, also of great depth, and he matches her in clarity. As with many issues of great importance, the key is not to seek answers, but to seek the questions. Answers, alone and uncushioned, may be terribly jarring. Well done, both of you!
I remember learning that my sister was my half-sister. I've built myself up to be more unforgiving with this sort of topic because it's not fair for anyone affected by it. So when I learned about my eldest sister I pretty much called my mom a hoe, she only thought about herself at that time and did not think of the long-term effects of her betrayal of my father.
So you knew since you were 25 you were conceived by ivf and your whole life didn’t look like your family. Wow what a shock to you when you took the dna test. Eyeroll. And she’s written five memoirs? Lol ok
Himynameis What sorry to hear that. Sadly not all parents are good. Especially if they themselves didn't have great parents. Don't let that hold you back. You can still shine. God bless Tonyevans.org helped me during some rough times
same boat. was genuinely sad when that was confirmed on ancestry dna. ha. but there wasn't really a question after seeing my half sister's photos. but I had hoped.
I’m adopted and recently did Ancestry. I was so disappointed because the closest match I had was equivalent to a second cousin. She didn’t even have similar surnames in family which was confusing. She was the key though that opened a door. Turns out, she was a daughter from a very large family and who she thought was her Father was an NPE (not parent expected). Her Mother had had an affair and took it to her grave. Her biological Father was…. My biological Mother’s Father’s Brother and that’s how we had a DNA match. No one else on my bio Mom’s side of the family tested. But growing up, she knew my bio Mom’s family. They lived near each other. So due to some other unique details surrounding my adoption in Montreal- she knew who my Mom was!!! Sadly she has passed. But, I have a 1/2 sister and many cousins and they are all getting tested.
Wow what a story. I’m adopted, too, and have one “2nd-3rd cousin”, Ancestry tells me, and he ignored my attempt to write to him. All the other cousins are 4th-6th degree cousins and I wrote to two of them and again, no response. I’m glad you had a reply!
@@cherwynambuter7873 I’m sorry that happened. Keep in mind that the message system within the ancestry site is very antiquated and works poorly. It’s possible they never saw your message. If you can communicate in a different way, say via Facebook, it’d be worth a shot. Others, may have lots of close family and just aren’t bothered to respond. They don’t understand. I was lucky bc my cousin is so very sweet and grew up with my bio family (whom she thought was her Godfather was in actuality her bio Dad) people have so many secrets. And too many of them allow shame to shroud them in fear. People cheat, men in particular- and we need to just accept it. My bio Mom’s Dad had 10 kids- 4 outside of his marriage that were ‘secret’ for a long time
@@cherwynambuter7873 my bio Father’s side of the family is very secretive. Very few of them communicate. I still don’t know who my bio Dad is despite having more actual DNA matches on that side of my family. My bio Dad’s side has even more affair related relatives than on my Mother’s side. A first cousin has 10 uncles that may or may not be my Dad. She was the product of an affair as well. Furlotte is the most common surname I have on my bio Dad’s side.
I think times have changed, but in those days you didn't tell the child they were conceived via sperm donor, adopted, etc. Now days they tell you to tell your children. My family has personal experience in this, my older brother was adopted. My parents didn't tell him. He found out through a classmate in school...he went on an utter melt down & never got over it. Now for my own personal story, I had a son, & his father left. I eventually remarried, and my husband has raised him as his own. We told him around 3 or 4 how we came to be a family. He is so bonded to my husband, & they are inseparable. I'm not saying every situation turns out like this, but from personal experience, everyone that knew they were adopted from the beginning turned out well adjusted. The ones that I have seen go through a real struggle, are the ones that it was hid from. Plus I'd rather my children know the truth from me, then to find out from an outside source, breaking any trust that I had built with that child..
I've been wanting to pursuit something like this because I never knew my father. First I was told vague story. Then told a story. So I've been passive about the subject. But now that I'm a father, it's peeked my interest about where I came from.
What we are told isn't always what is. My own children were kidnapped and I am a survivor of a very, very brutal attempt on my life shortly after the abduction the the children and the theft of my identity at that time. I suggest a book called A Life In Secrets it's about the missing British Intelligence Agent's of WW2. Some have asked if the personal photos we have of some of the missing British Intelligence Agent's came with the book. No, they are personal. You would smile if you stood & looked at my husband and looked at a photo of Prince Philip/they look like one in the same. A photo of Prince Philip dated 1976 is probably a good one. There's a new movie out about Abdul & Queen Victoria and of all things our K9 dog looks like.. I think a Doctor said maybe reincarnated.. Google Abdul & Queen Victoria and the white dog and you will see the dog at Queen Victoria's feet looks like our dog!! Actually, Queen Victoria had nearly 100 dog's in the Kennel's at the Palace...mind you, it was the mid 1800's..she must have been the first humane society/SPCA lady..
A child is shaped by both nature and nurture. A child needs to know their genetic roots, even if they have a loving father raising them who isn’t genetically connected to them.
I can see how it is the hurt from being lied to not so much that he wasn't the biological father but that she wasn't told the truth. Id be upset to even think my mother telling her partner a child is his but turns out it was from some fling. But considering the stigma behind all that in older times and the stigma it was probably for the best.
It’s better to have had your mother lie to you all your life long to the grace and to experience that level of betrayal from the one person you should trust most in your life…Than to have experienced the stigma? So you’re left trusting the larger society but not those close to you because they could all be lying to you, too? That seems nuts to me. I think it was more important to have her mother have been truthful with her. Also, it wasn’t an affair in this case, it was just a sperm donor. The dad who raised her had infertility problems. This is a no-brained, they should have told her.
Love this beautifully-written read. I am going through a different family crisis (nothing to do with genetics) but much of the process and emotions Dani Shapiro went through are familiar to me. Thank you for this interview and the image of the Kodak ad (about which Dani describes in her book).
How long has artificial insemination been going on? Geez I thought perhaps only in the past 20-25 years. Insemination was in practice in the 1960s? Who woulda thunk!
@@TheReelgrrl Really? Wow, incredible! I don't recall hearing any articles or reports of it then, so it's just surprising to me. Had no idea it was in practice back then
She's not the family secret, she's her mom secret..... And out there are a lot of cheater womens doing the exact same thing right now to their "loves" (husband)
Obviously you didn't watch the whole video. Her mother did not cheat on her husband. Her parents went to a fertility clinic and got a sperm donor. Maybe next time, watch the video before you comment
My daughter is 19 years old and I just told her the truth, because I don't want her to he 50 years old and find out the man who raised her is not her biological father. Her biological father said he didn't have time to be a dad. I have tried to reach out to him and he ignores me. My daughter is angry and won't talk to me right now . But I know deep down that I did the right thing
I’m sorry, but while you did the right thing to tell her at all, it wasn’t the right thing to wait this long. It was a lie for her entire life to this point. She has a right to feel very betrayed. She can’t trust you again. Unless maybe if you both go to therapy and work at it very, very hard, and she probably needs trauma counseling and maybe EMDR/brainspotting/somatic therapy or other body-based therapy to help process the trauma. I think that you’re underestimating the impact your lie has had upon her. She’s not just being a wayward teenager who will just get over it in time. There are many adoptees in their 40s, 50s, and even into their 70s who find out they were adopted and were lied to all their lives and they have universally this same response. (Except the adoptive parents who lied to them might be dead.) You have a larger situation on your hands with your daughter than you might be recognizing. Best wishes with it and I hope you can both find you way back to one another. Just be prepared for extremely hard and emotionally painful work up ahead.
But it’s very good you’ve sought to reach out to the father! You will really need to empathize more with your daughter’s pain and broken trust in you and apologize with deep sincerity before she’ll even think about making peace with you. Our moms are the ones in this life we want to feel we can trust the most to be truthful with us about the most basic facts about ourselves. If our mom lied to us about who our dad is, or about being adopted, then we don’t know if we can ever trust anybody to be telling us the truth. It is almost as if God Himself lied to us. So the pain goes even deeper than just the harm to the mother/child relationship. It makes you question what human beings are. It is really pivotal that this happened to her. I know you were doing what you thought was best. But you really should probably have sought out advice from a family therapist first when making this decision. I’m not trying to make you feel bad! Just trying to help you find a way back into your daughter’s heart and this is going to require some deeper level of understanding on your part about what she’s going through. You’ll need to be willing to re-examine the idea that you did the right thing in concealing it from her all these years. You’ll need to do a ton of listening with humility and resist the impulse to talk back. She is really suffering right now. This 19-year lie has now become an unerasable part of her life story; it will go with her wherever she goes, even long after you are gone. It will be something she shares with new friends when she makes friends. It will be something that any prospective future spouse will have to understand and empathize with, or they’ll be disqualified from marrying her because she won’t be able to live with someone who doesn’t understand how hard this betrayal has been for her. I hope everything works out! Please just try to be careful, because I can tell how much you love her and the more you try to sweep it under the rug and if you tell her her anger isn’t fully justified, the greater the chance you’ll lose her. I don’t want for this to happen!
Why do these mothers do this?! Every child deserves to know who their REAL father is regardless of his involvement. It should be mandatory to definitively establish paternity if a name is to be added to the birth certificate. If it’s not determined, then it goes down as unknown. The only exclusion should be in cases of valid adoption.
logically when you write an official document. it should be as truthful as possible. SO, they decided to put the 2 parents names and didn't tell her. Except at 25. SO if the mother let it 'slip',,,,, WHY? would she not ask questions,????
An adoptee’s birth certificate should not lie to them. They should receive a truthful certificate of birth. I was not born to the people whose names are on my birth certificate. Society has conspired, including a judge, to lie to me. Adoptees should be given an adoption certificate and a truthful birth certificate. Why do you feel it’s OK for adoptees to be lied to and that we’re the only ones for whom this is OK?
@@jerryking296 No, DNA is very valuable data. And in the age of selling information DNA would be at the top of the list. So why people would give their DNA to a random company is beyond me. I'll even bet that have some terms of service agreement not sell your DNA information but I wouldn't trust it. Trust me you will see DNA being sold scandal in the future. Just wait for it.
Can someone clarify? The first child conceived via In Vitro Fertilization was Louise Brown, in 1978, in England, and the first American child was conceived this way in 1981. Yet Ms. Shapiro was born in 1962, almost twenty years before IVF was used in this country. Regardless, it's clear that she was raised by a wonderful family, I'm just curious about the timeline.
She didn’t say it was in vitro. It was likely a simple artificial insemination. A sperm donor’s soerm is inserted into the mother’s uterus via a simple syringe. With in vitro, the dad’s sperm can’t swim or have impregnate the egg, so the fertility specialist injects the sperm directly into the egg and then places the fertilized egg into the mother’s uterus. This is far more high-tech because it took a long time for scientists to successfully figure out how to inject the sperm into the egg. Artificial insemination is a very basic, simple, low-tech procedure and was in use when this women was conceived.
My daughter did 23and me, got the results today and it showed my uncle was her grandfather! That meant he was my dad. I drove to my mom's and she admitted it today. I am in total shock at this point. I was raised by my dad who was not not real dad I know find out. My mom had a long affair with her sister's husband and I was born from that affair. Now I find out other men in the family thought I was their daughters to? My mom was having affairs with her sister's husband's...I'm disgusted.
This just happened to me! I bonded with a family for 20 years ( I found in my adoption agency file) and just tested with Ancestry DNA and everything in the file was Fraud false it was not my father they said in my file. I found my real family and deceased father on Ancestry.
I was suprised by my DNA test showing 19% Italian . It didn't make sense at first because my mom's side is mostly British, French Canadian and German. My dad's side is mostly British, Scottish and maybe German. There was an ancestor with the last name Fidler or Fiedler. I've seen online a lot of Fiedler families in Austria which has a border with itay, so maybe that ancestor was Austrian/Italian.
I'm confused. If her mother already told her she was born via artificial insemination from a place far away, then how was she surprised that her father wasn't her bio father?
Some couples do not get pregnant by copulating naturally and so sperm from the husband is artificially inseminated into the wife. But of course, there are cases when the husband does not know that his sperm is not up to standard and the wife is secretly inseminated with the sperm of another man...........but the husband keeps thinking that the child is his own. The mind-body relation of male and women are interesting and perhaps that is the reason why being monogamous is not a good relationship after all! One seems to conclude that by nature, nature itself formed us to be polygamous, and perhaps we should learn to love all those who care for us and not those who simply sired a child. I believe one should not pay any attention to the past, here we are, we have no control of the past, and what other people did and so we have to learn to face it as it is and not as we wish it was! We are here and we have to accept that what we were brought up to think is perhaps not so practical.
The lack of stability in children’s lives presented by fathers who impregnate one woman after another is not good for the children. It may yield more human beings for the world (evolution), but is this really best with climate change taking place? Monogamy limits the rate of consumption of fossil fuels because of couples who can’t achieve pregnancy. What you’re suggesting would be awful for efforts to slow climate change. And, more importantly, for children of non-committal fathers.
This literally just happened to me today. My dad I just found out isnt my biological father. I also found out I have a brother and 2 sisters. My parents passed away a few years ago and my biological passed in 2012.
Welcome to the club. I used Ancestry DNA to confirm biology on my paternal side and found out I have two half siblings I never knew about and my biological dad would not have known about either. This kind of stuff happens all the time.
The question is, I wonder, how many married women had gotten pregnant from secret affairs, and their husbands believed the child was his, DNA tests are making people honest about theirs private lives, DNA always reveals the truth, unless someone swapped the DNA, or planted DNA to convict someone, thus, one should always get a second or even a third test to confirm the first to be accurate….
Imagine ancestry available in the ancient world, they will be lots of people claiming descendant from the gods. So many sons of Zeus, Odin, aman ra and Bal Hammond. In the Middle Ages they claim to be descendants of Charlegmagne
My cousin does SERIOUS genealogy, and has, in fact, traced my adoptive mother’s family tree not only to Charlemagne, but also to Pompey. But the way linage works, there are probably many people alive today with Charlemagne in their DNA family tree! Many descendants emanating from the one person through all the generations.
she must be clueless or ignorant the fact that she doesn't resembled her father, mother or sister. my co-worker had 1 kid from a date and another kid from her 1st marriage, at age 7 yo the boy asked her mom, 'how come i don't look like dad,' immediately the mom broke down and told him the truth at age 7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is more of your dad than most. He chose you. A lot of biological dad don’t want there kids. And some leave there families. Your dad wanted you on the highest level. You said you weren’t close to your mother. Maybe deep down she couldn’t deal with the fact that you was not her husband’s child. Seems like your dad made up for that.
For me, it would not matter. There are lots of children out there who lives with their biological parents who treat them horrible. Thank ALMIGHTY GOD you had a father who cared and loved you like a daughter.. There are some things you do not write about; however, in this day and age where money talks, gossip and private matters sells. People will line up to buy and say she is no better than us, the only difference is she has a few dosh.
Respectfully, you really don’t know how you would feel. You would be the only one feeling that way, if that’s the way you would feel. Being lied to by a mother all your life long about where you came from is a betrayal most role who go through it feel down to their very bones. I know this because I’m a member of adoptee forums, and without exception, all those who have been lied to about their being adopted experience personal betrayal beyond their ability to write it in words. So you would definitely be the odd person out if you would just shrug your shoulders and go on as if nothing happened. And, people need to know about their family history and family medical history. You get medical screenings earlier in life or your family medical history warrants it. This isn’t fair to deprive a human being of this information.
O don't know; why is it that everyone these days "have right to know their father"? what for? what changes if they know? do they get happier? richer? Do they inherit that man if they can proove he is the father? if my father would have turned out to be someone elses father also,I would have never ever wanted anything to do with my halfsibling,thats for sure. I'd fgind it very bad taste and evil to track up someone by force,that wants nothing to do with you. And I would not have shared what I inherited from my father with an outsider that just popped up at the door wanting to have his or her share of the money!! because that is after all the maine reason you'd trace your biological dad: to find out if he has money. Same reason kids want their stepmoms/dads to adopt them;to make sure they inherit them. For a stepmom or dad it is THEIR business to ask the step chikd if they'd like to be adopted by them,not the other way around. I'd say NO if my step kids asked me if I'd wanted to adopt them,as my money is mine now, and my biological childrens after I die.
Can someone say what a Jewish look is. I'm was raised Catholic. But I've met Catholics from Indonesia, Africa, etc. And can say my Anglo-Caucasian USA upbringing does not mean I'm Catholic. Being a member of a religion is being MEMBER of an org.. The organization didn't give birth to you. I know in some places, usually it's a tribe. There's no difference in being a member of the tribe and of the (tribes) religion is inseparable . And have met a guy whose great grandfather, who started out as just a common guy, married 3 wives, had 3 additional concubines, who basically started his own village( has over 150 direct descendants all, Islamic) and that's a given. These are rare instances these days though. And the major current religions don't fall into these extremes( otherwise they wouldn't be inclusive to everyone, in general, that 'Real' religion needs to be a religion). Do you mean she doesn't look middle eastern? ( Somewhat dark but not black, somewhat light but not blonde.) How does a person look Jewish. Is it like saying, He's a baseball player, you can see, she's definitely a fine baseball player. I think the people saying she's jewish being raised, taught, and registered as a Jew in a Jewish family, means she Jewish. One can't look at a serial killer, child molester, non celebrated journalist ,( in the USA, Brazil, Canada), see a Caucasian person walking down the street) and know they're fluent English speakers. So how's a person know by looking if a person is Jewish. I think your mom did a number on you telling you that every day. The repeating of it after a time should've stopped. That's ones your mother being shameful. Good luck
I lived a lie for 48 years.... I also struggled with the mythology issue that was torn apart inside me. You identity getting ripped apart after 48 years is tough. Growing up as a child I always felt alone, that I wasn't bonded to my parents, especially my mother, just as Dani discusses. I also found my biological family very quickly and that helped me immensely. It's almost like my mind or my soul, knew I wasn't alone. It's been 10 years and this story is the first one that has really hit home with me.
Been there, I pray that God heal your heart
I found out about an hour after my Mom died, in 2018 that the Dad I grew up my entire life with is not my biological Dad, thru an uncle. It was definitely a double whammy that day. The only information they had was they think my biological Dad died in Vietnam.
Joelle D aw ❤️
@@joelled1829 Joelle, I feel your pain there. I found out about my biological father Jan. of last year and soon after learned he had passed away. Literally just this week a biological cousin I reached out to on Ancestry sent me the second ever photo of him that I've seen. One from when he was about 12 or 13 and the resemblance (and quality of the photo itself) is amazing. If you can find maybe some old yearbook photos or something it may bring you some peace. It did for me.
There have been strange moments throughout my life where I questioned the identity of my father, too difficult to explain in a youtube comment but I think I understand what you've been feeling. We don't always get the best hand, but I guess we work with what we've got. Be strong, and know you can get to know him by looking inward. So much of what makes you yourself comes from him!
Sending lots of warm thoughts your way.
I see this every week on the TV show Paternity Court
lol true
Drayonis omg 😂😂😂 you’re right!!
Yep all the time, watching it now 😂😂
He raised you he's your father.
Not her father but definitely her dad.
@@JackKincaid.. I think you better look up the definition of father.
If you're talking biology than he's not her father. But a man that raised you can be your dad. And I can't believe that I actually have to explain that to you. Lol
not in her mind he isnt anymore because he never told her
Luc Longly no kidding. As a foster parent, she's lucky... Betrayal is when a parent abandons a kid...
i found out yesterday who my father was and i am 60. i just saw his picture yesterday for the first time.
I can’t even believe we would ask the question “do children have the right to know” yes yes yes a thousand times yes. I have six children. Three biological from my husband and I, one we adopted as a three month old, one we adopted/received donated embryos made from a wonderful couple who used his sperm and an egg donor- I carried and gave birth to that child, and one we adopted from the foster system. We tell every child from day 1 what their special story is. It all makes up our crazy loving family.
Definitely agree. As DNA science continues to develop, there will be no more secrets.
Thank you for being honest with your adopted kids. I can't stand it when parents hide the truth or lie to the kids about their origin. To me it's like the parents are ashamed of the process and or afraid that the kids will turn on them and run off with their biological parents. Sometimes it's the complete opposite.
April Adare I totally agree. Actually, during our embryo matching process we were almost matched with a family but I was unable to meet two of their requests. 1. She (the mother) never wanted her children to know they had used an egg donor 2. She never wanted her children to know she had used a gestational carrier. I know that I wouldn’t have ever gone and intentionally told that information (it’s not mine to tell) but I also would have told the child I had (the genetic sibling to her children) of her donor mom etc etc. Anyway- secrets have a way of coming out and I didn’t want to be a part of keeping one. We became friends but decided we weren’t a match for embryo donation.
Children should mind their own business. They are not entitled just for being born.
You’re absolutely incorrect. Children have a birthright to know about themselves and their origins. It is the only ethical thing to do, to share with them how they came to be and who their biological parents are. You simply could not be more wrong.
If you are not a child of parents other than those who raised you, or a child psychologist, you aren’t qualified to speak to this.
Welcome to the club :) Mothers lie, this happens all the time.
Hardly newsworthy
This is called a human interest story and not news... Journalists have been doing theses stories for centuries.
Also hardly comment worthy... 🤔
When family's keep secrets like this they dont realize how much it DOES affect you. Spoken or not look at this woman she said all those years she felt that disconnect I can relate it's like scrambling to fit yourself into a box not meant for you for a lifetime.
I never knew my dad but had his name and was told he didn’t want to be involved. After my mom passed i needed a bone marrow transplant for leukemia (CML). My family contacted my father and through dna I found out he was not my dad. There’s now no way to find the man who probably doesn’t know he had a daughter.
Now hopefully through ancestry DNA test you can also find your biological Dad.
Loyal 711 it’s very likely he is no longer living. I can’t miss what I have never had. I just HATE that my name doesn’t really belong to me .
Awe sorry to hear that...it'll help with some sort of closure if his family is on there....hopefully..
@@bettyboopwolfe9471 even if he might not be alive you could find other family members. If you are at peace with not knowing than that's ok also. Hope your health is better ❤️❤️
How old are you? Men who didn't know they had kids are being found every day - dna testing databases. You find a 100% paternity match, or, a relative of his and then go from there to narrow down his identity. Now there could be exceptions - what if he was an orphan / has passed + has no other living family, etc. Oh course it's hard to hear that he didn't want to be involved, but if you're curious perhaps with persistence u can hear it from the horse's mouth
I am happy she learned the truth, and happy she had a father of the heart. Learning her beloved father was not her biological father was heartbreaking, but, she had a good father who loved her, and who she loved. So many people do not have good parents. It is a blessing to have good parents who love you, and who you love.
It was never her father she had. It was just some guy she called as such. She also did not embrace that guy completely as she went out and "found her real father".
If you really want to argue medical science, you need to come with much better arguments.
These ancestry tests are exposing lots of secrets... I found out that I'm mixed with a completely different race than what my mom told me. Crazy
lol they are not accurate
@@Sssssssslf hmm except they are accurate, very accurate in terms of ethnic origins
@@michaelmichael8314 absolutely not
@@Sssssssslf facts are facts, and facts cannot be disputed little buddy
@@Sssssssslf facts are facts, whether you accept them or not little buddy
I had dreams that I wasn't in the right family but unfortunately my father was my father.
Why unfortunately?
Me too, I dreamed since little that I was adopted. I'm not I'm actually related to the ppl who raised me
You ever heard the old saying momma's baby daddys maybe
she seems unhappy. but to find out half a century later ur not who you are! it rocks your soul to a black hole
My mom lied to me for 30 years.She hated my real dad so she kept me from him.The man she said was my dad died at the hand of my grandmother when I was 5.
Similar story
Small town joke.
Son to Mother: Dad said that I can't marry Peggy Sue because he is her father.
Mother to Son: Don't worry. He is not your father.
😆😆 funny
Soap opera twist
🤣😎😳
Actually this is not funny at all, and if you were the victim of parental lies and betrayal of trust, you wouldn’t make this joke.
Just saying…
Same thing happened to me with my father. I bought it for him as a fathers day present, a few weeks later we get the results, happy fathers day pops.
My biological mother refuses to believe it and won't tell me anything.
1969Vanessa G women need to take responsibility for there actions
@@theresag1969 she wont tell me cause she doesn't know. I have health problems but my main concern is for my daughter. Always good to know for the health background alone.
Also worth noting my biological mother left the scene before I turned 1. She obviously needed a man to raise her child, latched onto my dad at the early stages of her pregnancy,told him I was his and then left. She also abandoned another child with a different man a few years before I was born but gave him up when he was 4.
Also the people that raised me are my parents and the nest parents I could have wished for. Everyone is entitled to know where they came from etc.
@@Simonmc78
My comment does not apply to you. I made no comment about one being entitled to or not entitled to know where thet came from.
This exact same thing just happened to me. I just found out on Friday. My mom is dead and my biological father so I can’t ask them why they did this to me.
I’m so deeply sorry. That has to be incredibly painful. There should be support groups for people in your situation.
My guess is they hoped against hope you would never know the difference. It would have totally turned their stature in society upside-down for their friends, family, and work associates to learn of an adultery back then. They may have also rationalized that it would have affected you in a harmful way, because a resulting divorce in their day may have landed you in poverty and social shunning by families of kids who would have become your friends. You might have been very lonely as “the kid whose mother cheated and whose parents are divorced”. Divorce was shameful back then.
They chose to keep their world calm and bearable for themselves and probably thought it was best for you. They assumed you would never know the difference and be fine. They couldn’t have been more wrong about this. They took a gamble and lost. I’m sorry they aren’t here to listen to your agony and hear personally what this has done to you.
Is the dad who raised you alive? How has he responded? How are you doing now? Sending best wishes your way.
This happened to me a month ago. My mom and biological father are still living. no one will accept responsibility. I’m 58 my mom won’t tell me how, when, where, or why. My biological father is denying me even though I have proof. I feel so empty inside.
I have enormous respect for both this charming and thoughtful lady and for the interviewer as well. We are viewing a quiet and thoughtful lady with enormous depth. The interviewer responds by asking respectful, tasteful questions, also of great depth, and he matches her in clarity. As with many issues of great importance, the key is not to seek answers, but to seek the questions. Answers, alone and uncushioned, may be terribly jarring. Well done, both of you!
I remember learning that my sister was my half-sister. I've built myself up to be more unforgiving with this sort of topic because it's not fair for anyone affected by it. So when I learned about my eldest sister I pretty much called my mom a hoe, she only thought about herself at that time and did not think of the long-term effects of her betrayal of my father.
So you knew since you were 25 you were conceived by ivf and your whole life didn’t look like your family. Wow what a shock to you when you took the dna test. Eyeroll. And she’s written five memoirs? Lol ok
the funny part is people read them,, hahahaha
what im saying is people go too Far with things,,,, === Let it go and move on,,, 5 Books,,, people need to move on,
Ok
N. Dynamite lmao 😂
Ivf didn't exit in the 1960’s.
And I’m upset my dad is my biological dad 😑
Himynameis What sorry to hear that. Sadly not all parents are good. Especially if they themselves didn't have great parents.
Don't let that hold you back. You can still shine.
God bless
Tonyevans.org helped me during some rough times
same boat. was genuinely sad when that was confirmed on ancestry dna. ha. but there wasn't really a question after seeing my half sister's photos. but I had hoped.
Why does it resonate with her? I don't know why?
Wait so how is her sister not related to her at all? Wouldn't they still have the same mother?
half sister, her supposed dad had her with another wife
MinnesotaBassist Wasn’t he infertile?
The half sister by her dad was probably fathered by yet another man! The plot thickens!
I’m adopted and recently did Ancestry. I was so disappointed because the closest match I had was equivalent to a second cousin. She didn’t even have similar surnames in family which was confusing. She was the key though that opened a door. Turns out, she was a daughter from a very large family and who she thought was her Father was an NPE (not parent expected). Her Mother had had an affair and took it to her grave. Her biological Father was….
My biological Mother’s Father’s Brother and that’s how we had a DNA match. No one else on my bio Mom’s side of the family tested. But growing up, she knew my bio Mom’s family. They lived near each other. So due to some other unique details surrounding my adoption in Montreal- she knew who my Mom was!!! Sadly she has passed. But, I have a 1/2 sister and many cousins and they are all getting tested.
Wow what a story. I’m adopted, too, and have one “2nd-3rd cousin”, Ancestry tells me, and he ignored my attempt to write to him. All the other cousins are 4th-6th degree cousins and I wrote to two of them and again, no response. I’m glad you had a reply!
@@cherwynambuter7873 I’m sorry that happened. Keep in mind that the message system within the ancestry site is very antiquated and works poorly. It’s possible they never saw your message. If you can communicate in a different way, say via Facebook, it’d be worth a shot. Others, may have lots of close family and just aren’t bothered to respond. They don’t understand. I was lucky bc my cousin is so very sweet and grew up with my bio family (whom she thought was her Godfather was in actuality her bio Dad) people have so many secrets. And too many of them allow shame to shroud them in fear. People cheat, men in particular- and we need to just accept it. My bio Mom’s Dad had 10 kids- 4 outside of his marriage that were ‘secret’ for a long time
@@cherwynambuter7873 my bio Father’s side of the family is very secretive. Very few of them communicate. I still don’t know who my bio Dad is despite having more actual DNA matches on that side of my family. My bio Dad’s side has even more affair related relatives than on my Mother’s side. A first cousin has 10 uncles that may or may not be my Dad. She was the product of an affair as well. Furlotte is the most common surname I have on my bio Dad’s side.
I think times have changed, but in those days you didn't tell the child they were conceived via sperm donor, adopted, etc. Now days they tell you to tell your children. My family has personal experience in this, my older brother was adopted. My parents didn't tell him. He found out through a classmate in school...he went on an utter melt down & never got over it. Now for my own personal story, I had a son, & his father left. I eventually remarried, and my husband has raised him as his own. We told him around 3 or 4 how we came to be a family. He is so bonded to my husband, & they are inseparable. I'm not saying every situation turns out like this, but from personal experience, everyone that knew they were adopted from the beginning turned out well adjusted. The ones that I have seen go through a real struggle, are the ones that it was hid from. Plus I'd rather my children know the truth from me, then to find out from an outside source, breaking any trust that I had built with that child..
I've been wanting to pursuit something like this because I never knew my father. First I was told vague story. Then told a story. So I've been passive about the subject. But now that I'm a father, it's peeked my interest about where I came from.
What we are told isn't always what is. My own children were kidnapped and I am a survivor of a very, very brutal attempt on my life shortly after the abduction the the children and the theft of my identity at that time. I suggest a book called A Life In Secrets it's about the missing British Intelligence Agent's of WW2. Some have asked if the personal photos we have of some of the missing British Intelligence Agent's came with the book. No, they are personal. You would smile if you stood & looked at my husband and looked at a photo of Prince Philip/they look like one in the same. A photo of Prince Philip dated 1976 is probably a good one. There's a new movie out about Abdul & Queen Victoria and of all things our K9 dog looks like.. I think a Doctor said maybe reincarnated.. Google Abdul & Queen Victoria and the white dog and you will see the dog at Queen Victoria's feet looks like our dog!! Actually, Queen Victoria had nearly 100 dog's in the Kennel's at the Palace...mind you, it was the mid 1800's..she must have been the first humane society/SPCA lady..
Mom’s baby; daddy’s maybe.
A child has the right to know the true of his or herself sooner or later when the time is right.
Father is the one that’s raise you!
Daddy maybe but not father
A child is shaped by both nature and nurture. A child needs to know their genetic roots, even if they have a loving father raising them who isn’t genetically connected to them.
I'm an NPE and also discovered through an Ancestry test that my father was not really my father. It's been 6 years and I'm still shattered.
I can see how it is the hurt from being lied to not so much that he wasn't the biological father but that she wasn't told the truth. Id be upset to even think my mother telling her partner a child is his but turns out it was from some fling. But considering the stigma behind all that in older times and the stigma it was probably for the best.
It’s better to have had your mother lie to you all your life long to the grace and to experience that level of betrayal from the one person you should trust most in your life…Than to have experienced the stigma?
So you’re left trusting the larger society but not those close to you because they could all be lying to you, too?
That seems nuts to me. I think it was more important to have her mother have been truthful with her.
Also, it wasn’t an affair in this case, it was just a sperm donor. The dad who raised her had infertility problems. This is a no-brained, they should have told her.
Why do children feel they have a hand in their own DNA and feel responsible for how their parents decided to make them?
Her father is Darth Vader
Mother baby , father maybe!!
Love this beautifully-written read. I am going through a different family crisis (nothing to do with genetics) but much of the process and emotions Dani Shapiro went through are familiar to me. Thank you for this interview and the image of the Kodak ad (about which Dani describes in her book).
Where's Maury Povich when you need him ??
You are NOT the father....
@@mynameisnotimportant2854..Never said I was..Are you ??
Of course children have to right to know! It’s their right as human beings! Their identity.
Tell your kids the truth. It’s important for their physical mental and emotional health.
better have a long talk with Mom
SMH.
I wish I had a father figure.
Point blank!
Same!
How long has artificial insemination been going on? Geez I thought perhaps only in the past 20-25 years. Insemination was in practice in the 1960s? Who woulda thunk!
It was probably a private arrangement.
Earlier than the 60s.
@@TheReelgrrl Really? Wow, incredible! I don't recall hearing any articles or reports of it then, so it's just surprising to me. Had no idea it was in practice back then
Hitler's sperm was frozen.
I personally know someone that is now 70, he recently found out he has five half-siblings. Their father was a donor while in college.
She's not the family secret, she's her mom secret..... And out there are a lot of cheater womens doing the exact same thing right now to their "loves" (husband)
Obviously you didn't watch the whole video. Her mother did not cheat on her husband. Her parents went to a fertility clinic and got a sperm donor. Maybe next time, watch the video before you comment
My daughter is 19 years old and I just told her the truth, because I don't want her to he 50 years old and find out the man who raised her is not her biological father. Her biological father said he didn't have time to be a dad. I have tried to reach out to him and he ignores me. My daughter is angry and won't talk to me right now . But I know deep down that I did the right thing
I’m sorry, but while you did the right thing to tell her at all, it wasn’t the right thing to wait this long. It was a lie for her entire life to this point. She has a right to feel very betrayed. She can’t trust you again. Unless maybe if you both go to therapy and work at it very, very hard, and she probably needs trauma counseling and maybe EMDR/brainspotting/somatic therapy or other body-based therapy to help process the trauma. I think that you’re underestimating the impact your lie has had upon her. She’s not just being a wayward teenager who will just get over it in time.
There are many adoptees in their 40s, 50s, and even into their 70s who find out they were adopted and were lied to all their lives and they have universally this same response. (Except the adoptive parents who lied to them might be dead.)
You have a larger situation on your hands with your daughter than you might be recognizing. Best wishes with it and I hope you can both find you way back to one another. Just be prepared for extremely hard and emotionally painful work up ahead.
But it’s very good you’ve sought to reach out to the father!
You will really need to empathize more with your daughter’s pain and broken trust in you and apologize with deep sincerity before she’ll even think about making peace with you. Our moms are the ones in this life we want to feel we can trust the most to be truthful with us about the most basic facts about ourselves. If our mom lied to us about who our dad is, or about being adopted, then we don’t know if we can ever trust anybody to be telling us the truth. It is almost as if God Himself lied to us. So the pain goes even deeper than just the harm to the mother/child relationship. It makes you question what human beings are. It is really pivotal that this happened to her. I know you were doing what you thought was best. But you really should probably have sought out advice from a family therapist first when making this decision. I’m not trying to make you feel bad! Just trying to help you find a way back into your daughter’s heart and this is going to require some deeper level of understanding on your part about what she’s going through. You’ll need to be willing to re-examine the idea that you did the right thing in concealing it from her all these years. You’ll need to do a ton of listening with humility and resist the impulse to talk back. She is really suffering right now. This 19-year lie has now become an unerasable part of her life story; it will go with her wherever she goes, even long after you are gone. It will be something she shares with new friends when she makes friends. It will be something that any prospective future spouse will have to understand and empathize with, or they’ll be disqualified from marrying her because she won’t be able to live with someone who doesn’t understand how hard this betrayal has been for her.
I hope everything works out! Please just try to be careful, because I can tell how much you love her and the more you try to sweep it under the rug and if you tell her her anger isn’t fully justified, the greater the chance you’ll lose her. I don’t want for this to happen!
Last few comments are right. But it goes deeper in your heart and identity when your adopted ❤️
Why do these mothers do this?! Every child deserves to know who their REAL father is regardless of his involvement. It should be mandatory to definitively establish paternity if a name is to be added to the birth certificate. If it’s not determined, then it goes down as unknown. The only exclusion should be in cases of valid adoption.
Why?
logically when you write an official document. it should be as truthful as possible. SO, they decided to put the 2 parents names and didn't tell her. Except at 25. SO if the mother let it 'slip',,,,, WHY? would she not ask questions,????
@@Mimi-cg2cw like, define - why = nobody knows what your saying... make a real question
An adoptee’s birth certificate should not lie to them. They should receive a truthful certificate of birth. I was not born to the people whose names are on my birth certificate. Society has conspired, including a judge, to lie to me.
Adoptees should be given an adoption certificate and a truthful birth certificate. Why do you feel it’s OK for adoptees to be lied to and that we’re the only ones for whom this is OK?
Never ever give up your DNA!
Why are "They" pushing ancestry and genealogical testing? What are they doing with your DNA?
You’re paranoid get help
@@BigRed2 Research it. There's risk factors in giving up your DNA. You keep being stupid and I will keep being paranoid.
Tinfoil hat club
@@jerryking296 No, DNA is very valuable data. And in the age of selling information DNA would be at the top of the list. So why people would give their DNA to a random company is beyond me. I'll even bet that have some terms of service agreement not sell your DNA information but I wouldn't trust it. Trust me you will see DNA being sold scandal in the future. Just wait for it.
@@writerconsidered That's horseshit
Can someone clarify? The first child conceived via In Vitro Fertilization was Louise Brown, in 1978, in England, and the first American child was conceived this way in 1981. Yet Ms. Shapiro was born in 1962, almost twenty years before IVF was used in this country. Regardless, it's clear that she was raised by a wonderful family, I'm just curious about the timeline.
She didn’t say it was in vitro. It was likely a simple artificial insemination. A sperm donor’s soerm is inserted into the mother’s uterus via a simple syringe.
With in vitro, the dad’s sperm can’t swim or have impregnate the egg, so the fertility specialist injects the sperm directly into the egg and then places the fertilized egg into the mother’s uterus. This is far more high-tech because it took a long time for scientists to successfully figure out how to inject the sperm into the egg.
Artificial insemination is a very basic, simple, low-tech procedure and was in use when this women was conceived.
Too much hatred in this thread 😢
My daughter did 23and me, got the results today and it showed my uncle was her grandfather! That meant he was my dad. I drove to my mom's and she admitted it today. I am in total shock at this point. I was raised by my dad who was not not real dad I know find out. My mom had a long affair with her sister's husband and I was born from that affair. Now I find out other men in the family thought I was their daughters to? My mom was having affairs with her sister's husband's...I'm disgusted.
Glad my parents told me the truth
This is something to discuss about, but not newsworthy enough to show on CBS.
She were kidnapped into their family, painful.
This just happened to me! I bonded with a family for 20 years ( I found in my adoption agency file) and just tested with Ancestry DNA and everything in the file was Fraud false it was not my father they said in my file. I found my real family and deceased father on Ancestry.
My husband went through something similar
The mom was going around
The female anchor woman at the end....We want to know whyyyyy......lol
This happened to my mom.
I was suprised by my DNA test showing 19% Italian . It didn't make sense at first because my mom's side is mostly British, French Canadian and German. My dad's side is mostly British, Scottish and maybe German. There was an ancestor with the last name Fidler or Fiedler. I've seen online a lot of Fiedler families in Austria which has a border with itay, so maybe that ancestor was Austrian/Italian.
Someone probably cheated with an Italian up the family tree.
Mommy has some answers
I'm confused. If her mother already told her she was born via artificial insemination from a place far away, then how was she surprised that her father wasn't her bio father?
Some couples do not get pregnant by copulating naturally and so sperm from the husband is artificially inseminated into the wife. But of course, there are cases when the husband does not know that his sperm is not up to standard and the wife is secretly inseminated with the sperm of another man...........but the husband keeps thinking that the child is his own. The mind-body relation of male and women are interesting and perhaps that is the reason why being monogamous is not a good relationship after all! One seems to conclude that by nature, nature itself formed us to be polygamous, and perhaps we should learn to love all those who care for us and not those who simply sired a child. I believe one should not pay any attention to the past, here we are, we have no control of the past, and what other people did and so we have to learn to face it as it is and not as we wish it was! We are here and we have to accept that what we were brought up to think is perhaps not so practical.
The lack of stability in children’s lives presented by fathers who impregnate one woman after another is not good for the children. It may yield more human beings for the world (evolution), but is this really best with climate change taking place? Monogamy limits the rate of consumption of fossil fuels because of couples who can’t achieve pregnancy. What you’re suggesting would be awful for efforts to slow climate change. And, more importantly, for children of non-committal fathers.
So her 1/2 sister (or so she thought) was her mother’s husband’s daughter from a previous marriage?
Identity on what level? What about your soul, which is the only part of us that survives lifetime to lifetime.....
This literally just happened to me today. My dad I just found out isnt my biological father. I also found out I have a brother and 2 sisters. My parents passed away a few years ago and my biological passed in 2012.
What part of this is newsworthy? Am I missing something here?
Trying to sell a book. She knew at 25
Momma's baby , Daddies Maybe !
That sucks
It takes a lot more than sperm to be a father.
Welcome to the club. I used Ancestry DNA to confirm biology on my paternal side and found out I have two half siblings I never knew about and my biological dad would not have known about either. This kind of stuff happens all the time.
Same here. I only wish all parents involved were alive to give me some answers
But how come her sister is not her biological sister at all, as they said?
I’m going through this now. I believe they are wrong. I have another test coming.
Its obvious that's not her biological parents, and she knew that, she was just in denial.
We asked about Ancestry not about mythology.
Great video
The question is, I wonder, how many married women had gotten pregnant from secret affairs, and their husbands believed the child was his, DNA tests are making people honest about theirs private lives, DNA always reveals the truth, unless someone swapped the DNA, or planted DNA to convict someone, thus, one should always get a second or even a third test to confirm the first to be accurate….
It’s illegal to do the test in France 😂
Guess why
Fathers can be many but just a few can be dads.
So maybe her parents didn't even know her dad was not her dad.
What difference does it make? Stop whining. Your identity is today, and tomorrow. It is not dependent on lore passed down by others.
5:59 ? Why? I don't know? You mind sharing?
A "hwhim"? Why are you putting so much emphasis on the H?
Imagine ancestry available in the ancient world, they will be lots of people claiming descendant from the gods. So many sons of Zeus, Odin, aman ra and Bal Hammond. In the Middle Ages they claim to be descendants of Charlegmagne
My cousin does SERIOUS genealogy, and has, in fact, traced my adoptive mother’s family tree not only to Charlemagne, but also to Pompey.
But the way linage works, there are probably many people alive today with Charlemagne in their DNA family tree! Many descendants emanating from the one person through all the generations.
So why?
Happens to many men 😰
Judaism is a religion not ethnicity. No never mind sometimes it does not work that way.
I don’t think this is entirely true. Please see my note, just above. There is a Cohen gene. My Jewish husband has it because he came from a “Cohen”.
@@cherwynambuter7873 What I mean is that religion plays a part in a cultural Identity.
This happened to my friend last yr...
Book promotion
NO RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN
AT LEAST YOUR LEFT HAND DOES NOT
CHEAT OR LIE TO YOU!
Question your mother.
But wait, was her mom her mom? So how wasn't her sister not her sister? Or was her sister adopted?
she must be clueless or ignorant the fact that she doesn't resembled her father, mother or sister. my co-worker had 1 kid from a date and another kid from her 1st marriage, at age 7 yo the boy asked her mom, 'how come i don't look like dad,' immediately the mom broke down and told him the truth at age 7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is more of your dad than most. He chose you. A lot of biological dad don’t want there kids. And some leave there families. Your dad wanted you on the highest level. You said you weren’t close to your mother. Maybe deep down she couldn’t deal with the fact that you was not her husband’s child. Seems like your dad made up for that.
Maybe her mom was horrible person and didn't give the dad a real chance to know he was a father.
This happened to me also
If there is one thing that DNA testing has shown., it is the deceit and unfaithfulness of women
Add piano and she said you know why you know why I kind of want to know why too
For me, it would not matter. There are lots of children out there who lives with their biological parents who treat them horrible. Thank ALMIGHTY GOD you had a father who cared and loved you like a daughter.. There are some things you do not write about; however, in this day and age where money talks, gossip and private matters sells. People will line up to buy and say she is no better than us, the only difference is she has a few dosh.
Respectfully, you really don’t know how you would feel.
You would be the only one feeling that way, if that’s the way you would feel.
Being lied to by a mother all your life long about where you came from is a betrayal most role who go through it feel down to their very bones. I know this because I’m a member of adoptee forums, and without exception, all those who have been lied to about their being adopted experience personal betrayal beyond their ability to write it in words.
So you would definitely be the odd person out if you would just shrug your shoulders and go on as if nothing happened.
And, people need to know about their family history and family medical history. You get medical screenings earlier in life or your family medical history warrants it. This isn’t fair to deprive a human being of this information.
He’s not her father he’s her dad
Who buy your books?
He is your father that rise you to be an author, great life, etc.
He did not betrayed you.
O don't know; why is it that everyone these days "have right to know their father"? what for? what changes if they know? do they get happier? richer? Do they inherit that man if they can proove he is the father? if my father would have turned out to be someone elses father also,I would have never ever wanted anything to do with my halfsibling,thats for sure. I'd fgind it very bad taste and evil to track up someone by force,that wants nothing to do with you. And I would not have shared what I inherited from my father with an outsider that just popped up at the door wanting to have his or her share of the money!! because that is after all the maine reason you'd trace your biological dad: to find out if he has money. Same reason kids want their stepmoms/dads to adopt them;to make sure they inherit them. For a stepmom or dad it is THEIR business to ask the step chikd if they'd like to be adopted by them,not the other way around. I'd say NO if my step kids asked me if I'd wanted to adopt them,as my money is mine now, and my biological childrens after I die.
Thanks to ancestry I found out I was actually Greek & Jewish. Not Italian & Christian.
Christian is not a genealogy. Jewish can be, but can also be religion. Christian is entirely religion or culture in a sense.
I'm afraid that's why I did the test with 24genetics that I know they don't do a paternity test. :(
Alfred Towers
Ancestry.com doesn’t do paternity tests, either, but it identities your close relations.
Can someone say what a Jewish look is. I'm was raised Catholic. But I've met Catholics from Indonesia, Africa, etc. And can say my Anglo-Caucasian USA upbringing does not mean I'm Catholic. Being a member of a religion is being MEMBER of an org.. The organization didn't give birth to you.
I know in some places, usually it's a tribe. There's no difference in being a member of the tribe and of the (tribes) religion is inseparable . And have met a guy whose great grandfather, who started out as just a common guy, married 3 wives, had 3 additional concubines, who basically started his own village( has over 150 direct descendants all, Islamic) and that's a given. These are rare instances these days though. And the major current religions don't fall into these extremes( otherwise they wouldn't be inclusive to everyone, in general, that 'Real' religion needs to be a religion).
Do you mean she doesn't look middle eastern? ( Somewhat dark but not black, somewhat light but not blonde.) How does a person look Jewish.
Is it like saying, He's a baseball player, you can see, she's definitely a fine baseball player.
I think the people saying she's jewish being raised, taught, and registered as a Jew in a Jewish family, means she Jewish.
One can't look at a serial killer, child molester, non celebrated journalist ,( in the USA, Brazil, Canada), see a Caucasian person walking down the street) and know they're fluent English speakers.
So how's a person know by looking if a person is Jewish.
I think your mom did a number on you telling you that every day. The repeating of it after a time should've stopped. That's ones your mother being shameful. Good luck