3 Ways To Tell a Persons Attachment Style Early

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In today's video, Coach Court talks about 3 ways to tell a persons attachment style early.
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Learn more about the Dismissive Avoidant Attachment with this PLAYLIST:
• The Dismissive Avoidan...
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coach court, breakup, ex back, avoidant ex, fearful avoidant, mental health

[@kawanclinton950]

I learned my attachment style 3 months go. 2 weeks after a breakup with a DA. I realized I am a FA. I felt amazing because I was able to see in words what I couldn't describe. The push pull and protest behavior was spot on. I have been in therapy but my therapist didnt really touch on attachment styles. I'm doing the work with her now and also learning on my own.The plan is to earn secure. I already see a difference because I can aloud I'm in an activated state. It makes me so much more aware. I wish I had the knowledge a few months ago that I have now but I'm trusting God. Everything happens at its appointed time. The knowledge has given me more clarity and makes me less upset at my DA ex and also at myself. I wish I could educate him, I am educating myself. I realize that ppl can cause you to learn more anxious or avoidant. I was married to someone who was secure, I now know what to look for early in dating and my plan is to be there myself by putting in the work. Its not easy but it is worth it.

[@debbiewitthoft5339]

Thank you! This was helpful! Also something else to look out for in early dating, if the person can take accountability for their part in the demise of a prior relationship. If they are blaming the other person for the break up, this isnt good.

[@IamCoachCourt]

🙌🏾

[@LM-cl6ys]

Spot on

[@GeoffreyPilkington]

I’m a textbook fearful-avoidant. It’s brutal.

[@IamCoachCourt]

@@GeoffreyPilkington I know it is 😕

[@GeoffreyPilkington]

@@IamCoachCourt i was typing this out as you responded so here it is. 😁
I’ve been watching your videos! They’re great and very helpful.
The hard thing about this attachment style (obviously you know all of this but I’m thinking out loud 😊) is we go to great emotional depths in one moment (anxious mode) and then retreat or avoid the next (dismissive mode). This unpredictability makes long-term emotional maintenance extremely challenging.
Dismissive Avoidants struggle with emotional depth consistently from the start and maintain emotional distance throughout. I find they don’t fluctuate as much, but their avoidance often prevents them from forming deep connections obv.
Fearful avoidants (me) with this flip-flopping between emotional extremes, face a unique challenge because the depth is sometimes there, but it’s hard to maintain over time due to the constant shift in attachment modes. This makes relationships feel unstable, especially over the long term, where the ebb and flow of emotional connection can lead to confusion or disconnection for both parties.
I also have the same attachment style with work obviously. It bleeds over into other areas of life. I find that which mode I’m in (anxious or avoidant) is dependent on set, setting and circumstances.
At one time in my life I may avoid work because I have a constant painful detached feel to working. At another time in my life I may be a workaholic nonstop obsessively preoccupied about it.
This is also a key nuance between fearful and dismissives. Dismissives tend to be more consistent about using work a means to escape romantic deep emotional attachment since deep emotional unpredictability isn’t required for work as it would be for a partner. Since Fearfuls can go very deep in our emotional attachment to work, we in turn can also be dismissive about it. With us the attachment styles are constantly changing in all walks dependent on set, setting and circumstances of the moment.
I’ve had relationships where I was all in at the start and as time went on I checked out and felt smothered.
I’ve had relationships where I felt smothered from the start.
I never know which way it’s gonna go and I find it’s all dependent on set, setting and circumstances. Often I don’t even realize I’m doing it until I’m in it.
As you can prob tell, I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself. 😊
Keep up the great work! 🙏👍

[@Rico-RR]

So many gems in this video. Very educational, insightful, & helpful content.

[@IamCoachCourt]

Thank you ❤️

[@tsg74074]

Can you expand on this video

[@IamCoachCourt]

Yessir

[@jeremiahmichael5871]

😣 P r o m o s m