they want you to shut up...DON'T

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  • Опубликовано: 4 янв 2025

Комментарии • 110

  • @itscrystalstevens
    @itscrystalstevens  Месяц назад +5

    Share your story below if this resonated❤

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  Месяц назад +1

      Thank you all so much for watching!

    • @sakuraXhinataMix2
      @sakuraXhinataMix2 Месяц назад

      @itscrystalstevens i might make a follow-up video about this because you are telling my story for real. That's if you're ok with that, and I'll tag you. Did you make a short for this video?

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  Месяц назад +1

      @@sakuraXhinataMix2 Absolutely! Speak your truth. And no I didn't make a short for this, but I think you could add it in your description box or something. Also, no pressure to tag me, glad you got some inspo from this :)

  • @Nokss_20
    @Nokss_20 Месяц назад +53

    I no longer play the High Road because I'm not Road Kill. If I'm uncomfortable, we will all be uncomfortable.

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  Месяц назад +6

      @@Nokss_20 this is powerful

    • @aisnow5788
      @aisnow5788 Месяц назад +4

      At Thanksgiving dinner with the laws and that is my vibe.

    • @aisnow5788
      @aisnow5788 Месяц назад +3

      And I wish I could like your comment t 100 times!

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  Месяц назад +1

      @@aisnow5788 anything to preserve your peace 🧘🏾‍♀️

    • @TwylasCouch
      @TwylasCouch Месяц назад +1

      This is the best quote I’ve seen all day. In a while, in fact.

  • @DodoToutDoux
    @DodoToutDoux Месяц назад +30

    I will never shut up! 👊🏾

  • @SaskiaTheBoss
    @SaskiaTheBoss 12 дней назад +2

    i don’t let anything slide which don’t resonate with the truth! if you’re gunna speak up, make sure the whole truth is told or let it go, because i will call it out every single time & break down exactly what happened. usually, people don’t like that, because the details are so disgusting, it taints their false public personas on a certain level that no one ever thought could be possible coming from them! if you didn’t want them to know the truth, you should have behaved differently.

  • @destroyraiden
    @destroyraiden Месяц назад +14

    This helped me realize what my family is doing to me so very helpful thanks!

  • @laurat.4791
    @laurat.4791 29 дней назад +3

    especially when they want to bully you into silence so that they can abuse you in peace (!)

  • @letsjustbereal-z7t
    @letsjustbereal-z7t Месяц назад +7

    Oh YES. I've called everything and everyone out in my family. The last response I got? "Stop being so dramatic and text me" literally attempting to invalidate and command me in one go. Abusers can be truly delusional also, don't try to understand sick malicious people. Say it for you and move forward.

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  Месяц назад

      100%. All we can do is pray they find peace and refocus our energy on ourselves!!

  • @KhaylaKnew88
    @KhaylaKnew88 22 дня назад

    It’s crazy, I went through practically the exact same work situation as you 2 years ago. I felt and handled it the same too. I think it took me a little over a year to mourn it. Hearing your perspective and experience makes me feel seen and more at peace.

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  22 дня назад

      Wow this brought me to tears!! Thank you for this beautiful comment, I'm thankful this video found you❤

  • @femininewaters444
    @femininewaters444 Месяц назад +5

    Yes I'm done being the bigger person I was always expected to be it because I was mature but sometimes that gets you walked all over

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  Месяц назад +2

      @@femininewaters444 100%! It’s definitely important to be discerning and choose when to give your energy to what, but when you feel it’s time to speak up, honor that!

    • @femininewaters444
      @femininewaters444 Месяц назад

      ​Yes thank you I overthink alot it's a lot of times I had good comebacks or something could of got me out a real sticky situation or got a raise if I spoke up etc ​@@itscrystalstevens

  • @MaximumDull
    @MaximumDull 17 дней назад

    It is emotionally exhausting having to regularly stand up to corruption. I have done it in the university based on my previous experience working in law, but it never feels okay. People don't want things that benefit them to change. You were right not to sink to their level, but there are strategies you can use to challenge authority without compromising yourself. It's an important lesson you are providing and I can relate.

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  17 дней назад

      I’ve been really interested in the ways that exploitation, power and control are used to silence those who want to make a difference. I think it takes more than one person to change a system and many of these systems have remained in place because people underestimate the power in numbers and beyond that, there is the persistent fear of the repercussions that may follow when challenging the system - i.e. loss of job/source of income/ undermining of reputation. The conclusion I’ve come to is many of us are aware of our own exploitation and willingly participate in these systems because they have something we need - usually money - or want - some type of status. Until the majority acknowledges their collective power and is willing to band together and say enough is enough, things will most likely stay the same.

  • @t.6071
    @t.6071 20 дней назад

    I SUPPORT YOU SO MUCH LOVELY

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  20 дней назад

      I am so sorry you went through this! I really appreciate your support 🥹💖

  • @sakuraXhinataMix2
    @sakuraXhinataMix2 Месяц назад +2

    I had to come to the same realization and hun, please keep speaking. If they try to hush you, say it in a megaphone 📣

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  Месяц назад +1

      THIS just brought me so much joy. I absolutely will❤

    • @sakuraXhinataMix2
      @sakuraXhinataMix2 Месяц назад

      @itscrystalstevens I'm so glad that I added joy in your life 😊

  • @diamondbolton2944
    @diamondbolton2944 6 дней назад

    Wont let them group me in the bunch. Teachers that hold up the whole class or parents that threaten if they come up stairs it’s not you.

  • @AutopilotToAwakeTarot
    @AutopilotToAwakeTarot 23 дня назад

    Thank you soooo much for sharing this! I feel so SEEN cuz I went through this exact kind of situation when I left my job (of 4+ years) back in July 😩 The feelings of disappointment were REAL. lOl. And I was so caught off guard by how things transpired because I thought I could trust people to do the right thing. But I have peace because I know that the changes and how it all unfolded stemmed from me being AUTHENTIC and using my voice, whether or not it made people uncomfortable 🤷🏽‍♀️
    I learned a lot of from that situation, and though I’m still healing and often contemplate it, I’m proud of myself and know that it NEEDED to happen in order for me to become more of ME, rather than the versions of me who I thought would garner the most approval by not “rocking the boat too much”. So I totes feel you, love 💗 Your vulnerability and authenticity are your biggest STRENGTHS 💪🏾🥰

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  23 дня назад

      It’s amazing how similar our experiences are🥹. Definitely was not an easy thing to get over, but being true to ourselves is the most important thing we can do for ourselves and others. It is not our job to keep people comfortable especially in the face of injustice. Thankful this video reached you, thank you for your thoughtful comment 💖🥹

  • @FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj
    @FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj Месяц назад +2

    It's nice to tell someone to shut up

  • @IamJCarson
    @IamJCarson 22 дня назад

    Love you gurl. Thank you for sharing your story with us all. I’m glad you shared this experience with us. I feel this way too. It did hurt me just like it hurt you. Be well and please share space for me as well when I’m ready to talk about my story and future.

    • @IamJCarson
      @IamJCarson 22 дня назад

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  22 дня назад

      @@IamJCarson thank you for your kind words, I can do that for sure 🫶🏾

  • @healingwithrama
    @healingwithrama Месяц назад

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. I really resonated with this video because I am dealing with the exact same situation at work. I have trouble expressing myself in my personal life, which obviously impacts me professionally as well. However, I’ve been realizing that I have been holding all of it and not really expressing but rather allowing people to form opinions about me which are untrue. So thank you again for sharing this, it came right on time.

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  Месяц назад

      Our silence gives them permission to create false narratives. So thankful this video reached you. Wishing you all the best on your journey ❤

  • @sheasprettyskinny6630
    @sheasprettyskinny6630 20 дней назад

    I love the ponytail, but this letting it all hang out situation here😍

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  20 дней назад +1

      @@sheasprettyskinny6630 thanks girl!!!🥰 we love a good wash n’ go day okayyy🤣

  • @mennazainart
    @mennazainart Месяц назад +1

    I can relate so much to you. I used to be this person too a few years ago when i was in university, i always speak up, if i see something fishy, something bad happening, like a professor harassment or whatever.
    And then on my third year, i got really ill, couldn't even attend lectures anymore, passed my first term of the year only because i did kind of well in the exams.
    Then the second one came, i was hardly getting out of bed because of severe depression and anxiety.
    Decided to take my exams later than others, suddenly i find myself out of all the online groups for each subject which were my only resource for materials to study from, then i hear from a colleague that there are basically rumors about me and my reputation there, out of the blue.
    Mind that i was always the friendly person who would help anybody if they asked or if they didn't too. Had no interactions with others anyways as i am very introverted and quiet.
    Then i report what happened and i have screenshots of the admins of the groups and all, nobody takes further action.
    Nobody cared.
    So, me, still severely depressed and tired already of everything, i decided to take my action which was just walk away too. And drop out.
    And, i haven't healed fully yet. Been 2 or 3 years and i have alot of mental health issues and Cptsd.
    Ur video made me feel less alone i guess?
    Cause i can't find a job, still sick of everything, but i am trying to find my own peace within me.
    I wish you the best and for your own business to grow, and yes being vulnerable takes sooo much strength. I appreciate you and the time u took to share this with all of us.
    Sending you love ❤️

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  Месяц назад +1

      @@mennazainart Wow. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so sorry about what happened to you. I genuinely believe that God’s rejection is simply a redirection to the life path that is meant for you. Healing takes time and I am proud of you for using this time to find peace within yourself - that is so so important. Believe me, you have the strength to overcome this and become the person you are meant to be. You have so much power within you, let yourself tap into that. I am thankful this video reached you and you felt connected to my story. I appreciate your vulnerability and your heartfelt message. Thank you so much!! Sending you lots of love as well❤️

  • @CasyHeart
    @CasyHeart 13 дней назад

    You worth it 💯

  • @MiillieMesh
    @MiillieMesh Месяц назад +6

    Hell yeah, recovering people pleaser here & speaking up feels the fuck goodT! Sounds like you were a Union rep. I could be wrong, but I'm a union rep/shop stewardess & it sounds similar to what I do lol. This position has definitely helped me to speak UP more. Somehow, speaking up for others feels easier than it does to speak up for myself. But I've gained confidence, I hash out my grievances & other's grievances tactfully. It was an identity shift that elevated me. I now do this in my real life at home. I practice it at home with my mom. Even if I know it'll shake the table 😂 I'm like you ticked me tf off yesterday when you did xyz. Lot more ruthless with moms 🤣 Thanks for the reminder with this video. Empower yourself by empowering others ✨️ 💖 ✨️

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  Месяц назад +1

      Your guess is close! Definitely was a representative of some kind! But I love that for you! I always say the professional influences the personal and the personal influences the professional. Knock on traditional jobs all we want but we learn some valuable life skills through those experiences. I learned a lot about myself during my time with that company and while it was hard to walk away, I am a much stronger and confident person because of what I went through. And it is definitely empowering to use your voice, especially with those you love! It's all love here! 💞

  • @user-ml8dm9fz6l
    @user-ml8dm9fz6l 18 дней назад

    your work story happens to men too. what happens, happens for a reason. you are where you are supposed to be. it's not your responsibility to teach them. everyone is on their own journey. other people may dislike being offered help and see it like you are trying to take their job away from them. trust that the people that liked your help will some day speak up and help that difficult manager realize your lost value. stay on your path and grow. love the channel. keep up the good videos

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  18 дней назад +1

      @@user-ml8dm9fz6l Thank you for your kind words! Also, just know I was speaking from the perspective of women because that is my experience. There is room here for all perspectives 🫶🏾

  • @FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj
    @FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj Месяц назад +2

    Letting things slide under the rug

  • @sauceynuggets1030
    @sauceynuggets1030 Месяц назад +9

    Hi! This is my first time watching one of your vids and I felt so seen and heard (even tho u don't even freakin know me lol). This is a hella long paragraph if ur willing to read all the way thro lol. I'm acc going through the same thing right now, and it was with family. Ppl who I thought would help me through the hard times (i was unemployed for almost a year, and they talked shit ab me) acc kicked my back in while I was down. I had older siblings who feel like they always have to "show me something" or "teach me" because they have a superiority complex. They basically want me to respect the very person who made me feel like I should self delete (ofc they don't know this bc they wouldn't care to listen lol). I forgot to mention I have a twin (ikik, stay with me here), and our parent/guardian treats her the worst of all of us. I'm right next to her, but she's just such a big sack of potatoes towards her for literally no reason. Right now, I'm basically gathering receipts of every time they have wronged me, spoken to me as if I wasn't even a speck of dust, or clearly DESTROYED a boundary I had worked so hard to build for myself. Just so you don't think I'm telling a Cinderella story, here's some examples: 1) I just graduated high school this year, and before that, me and my twin had prom. Now, many things accumulated during that time, but to tell you the important parts is the fact that every time my brother comes home (he's a Marine, and he's stationed across the country (I live in Jersey, he's in Cali)) he always starts something. That's a little background on what I'm ab to tell you. He always demands that we respect this woman (our parent/guardian) with our whole being, while she can just walk all over us like a friggin doormat. Anyway, I really can't remember what we did or said, but it apparently "hurt her feelings" while she was in this idgaf mindset right in front of me. The, my older sister proceeds to record me and my twin (without us knowing) and showing her the recording, and barging in our room, bringing up the past to guilt trip and gaslight us. 2) My parent/ guardian refused to help with anything for our prom, but was the first person to jump to be in pics. They can literally kiss my behind. Clearly, they see us to be as valuable as a piece of gum on the bottom of their shoe. But still want us to hold them to this high standard, and be best friends. The very fact that I came across this video had to be a sign to stand in my truth, because yes, they all want us to be quiet and eat the dirt because it's easier for them. Watching this vid (all the way through ofc) literally inspired me to take up room, and be apologetically me because I don't anyone shit. Ofc they expect me to go all out for them bc they're family. LOL. But I'm so happy that I watched this video because it told me I wasn't alone. (also, sorry again for this long friggin paragraph I was kinda venting lol)

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  Месяц назад +2

      Wow! I really appreciate your vulnerability here. Setting boundaries with family is incredibly difficult because it can feel like an obligation to give them access to you and your energy (these things are taught). I am so glad you are stepping into your power and seeing things for what they are. Boundaries are a form of protection. If they aren't communicated, people will think it's okay to keep doing what they're doing. So happy this video helped and I wish you all the best in this journey of truth

  • @lonimimeseko
    @lonimimeseko Месяц назад +1

    Really needed to see this, thanks for sharing. This is very relatable

  • @FeliciaStands
    @FeliciaStands 26 дней назад

    Your role to them was to swept it under the rug thanks for not falling in line taking a stand was your purpose for that job and it’s been fulfilled next mission 😂❤

  • @ivys9544
    @ivys9544 Месяц назад

    Thank you!

  • @FeliciaStands
    @FeliciaStands 26 дней назад

    Same in my luteal 😢😂 your message came on time I’m going through it right now 😢❤

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  26 дней назад

      I hope you’re taking this time to heal ❤️🥹

  • @divinefeeline
    @divinefeeline Месяц назад +2

    another upload YES!

  • @zoegarcia243
    @zoegarcia243 Месяц назад

    Thank you. I needed this today.

  • @FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj
    @FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj Месяц назад

    Some people want to tear me apart l used to let the wrong people in shed light on what people did two me

  • @supercutefluffykitten
    @supercutefluffykitten Месяц назад

    i subscribed so fast ur personality works so well for youtube good luck

  • @WilleauxWill
    @WilleauxWill Месяц назад +2

    SUBSCRIBED IMMEDIATELY !!!

  • @Ponyloverosezz
    @Ponyloverosezz Месяц назад

    girl i love your videos so much 😍😍i feel you girl 🥲🥲thx for sharing your story ❤❤

  • @FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj
    @FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj Месяц назад

    Sharing my truth

  • @gemzndiamonds
    @gemzndiamonds Месяц назад

    inspiration

  • @FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj
    @FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj Месяц назад

    I deserve my peace

  • @adhdself-love
    @adhdself-love 18 дней назад

    And without knowing anything about your relationship with your coworker that you said used to be good but then turned sour for a lack of a better word, it sounds like that person may have just been a people pleaser to your face and you're being honest but they're not so you think you have a relationship but you actually didn't you probably just had an acquaintance ship and I know that sucks to hear oh my God but take it from somebody who has lived through this is impressed by how far you are at your age and who is telling you like it is after much heartache and tears over the very same things myself.

  • @FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj
    @FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj Месяц назад

    I know my value

  • @bleachshop
    @bleachshop Месяц назад

    This was so well thought out and filmed. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I am going through something similar but family related. Not being afraid of being "seen" ties into so much more than physical appearances; and you confirmed that for me! I am no longer going to allow my ego and pride to silence me. What I have to say matters and whether people want to hear it or not, I will SCREAM it from the rooftops. We WILL be heard!! 🤍✨

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  Месяц назад

      @@bleachshop Thank you for watching, I am so happy this resonated with you 🥰. Yes! Being seen is also very much about honoring yourself. Speak your truth!!❣️

  • @TwylasCouch
    @TwylasCouch Месяц назад +1

    I JUST MADE A VIDEO ABOUT THIS and people call people like us “combative” LOL

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  Месяц назад

      @@TwylasCouch I think it ultimately comes down to discernment. There are some things that aren’t worth speaking on because it doesn’t benefit anyone and can be more of a detriment to you. BUT, there also situations that REQUIRE us to speak and to stand up for what is right and that is not combative, to me that’s having an inclination towards justice ✨

    • @TwylasCouch
      @TwylasCouch Месяц назад +1

      @@itscrystalstevens I really appreciate this encouragement. Especially as a white girl you are automatically labeled a “Karen” when you call out dumb/rude-acting people. I hate that shit. Wish I had more friends like you in person, but the plushy’s are such a green flag lmao subscribed! ✨

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  Месяц назад

      @@TwylasCouch People have a tendency to minimize the voices of those who are speaking the truth. If you feel in your spirit that you are doing the right thing by speaking up, then trust that always!! I am sorry that that has been your experience and I am glad that you are still standing your ground regardless! There will always be people who choose to misunderstand you, but as long as you know the truth, that is what matters 🫶🏾. And thank you for subscribing! I love my little plushies lmaooo. My goal is to do some sort of in person event at some point, definitely want to have some form of community meetups ☺️

  • @FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj
    @FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj Месяц назад +1

    😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

  • @FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj
    @FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj Месяц назад

    I think it's rude how some people treated me

  • @FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj
    @FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj Месяц назад

    Some people concerned me petty

  • @shonshalit9386
    @shonshalit9386 Месяц назад

    Woo!

  • @standinmyworld.
    @standinmyworld. Месяц назад

  • @OmnistEdwardbesterjr
    @OmnistEdwardbesterjr Месяц назад +1

    I think it’s mean an rude the way some ppl do me but you’re hair is kutteee by the way too girl 💅🏿

    • @itscrystalstevens
      @itscrystalstevens  Месяц назад +1

      People tend to project how they feel about themselves onto others. Don't let them lower your vibration babes. And thank you!

  • @MarieRains
    @MarieRains Месяц назад

    🥰

  • @adhdself-love
    @adhdself-love 18 дней назад

    I'm sorry, Girl, it sounds like you were on the HR version of a PIP, to boot the newbie was you replacement.

  • @adhdself-love
    @adhdself-love 18 дней назад

    Sorry, Girl, you were on an HR version of a PIP, a d that newbie was your replacement.

  • @beebayse
    @beebayse Месяц назад +4

    Wouldn't your already established reputation surpass a newcomers perception of you though? I think your arrogant to think you could've change that person's mind, especially if they had more pull than you. You can't convince ppl who hate you otherwise.

  • @emilyau8023
    @emilyau8023 Месяц назад

    God didn't redirect you. That's just your tolerance and intuition. God isn't real.

  • @14KittieKat
    @14KittieKat Месяц назад +1

    ❤❤