my problems with fat fashion (and the internet)
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- Опубликовано: 15 сен 2024
- hi peaches, I went back and forth so many times about whether I should post this. It's not my normal type of video, and if I'm being honest, what I thought would primarily be a learning moment ended up being primarily cathartic?! here's your weekly reminder that vulnerability is a superpower, and being kind doesn't cost a thing ✨
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Just going to throw out the advice my mum used to give to people experiencing size insecurity when she was working in fitting rooms - if you like the way the clothes look and feel on you but the size on the label upsets you, cut the label out and carry on.
That’s a good tip but for people who can easily find clothes in shops but have insecurities . Not for people who are actually significantly plus size and may struggle to find clothes that feel good in the first place.
That's brilliant
@@s.a.4358 Cut the labels, and make a lot of noise that all bodies should be catered for! x
Size 20 here. When I've seen the video you mentioned, I had the opposite reaction. It didn't made me angry it made me sad. It made me sad because many women no matter the size get body shamed and this comes often from other women and it is true plus size fashion often starts with size 12 or 14 which is ridiculous as is the whole concept of plus size fashion. I love how more and more brands are just size inclusive from really tiny to a curvy shapes.
Agree as someone that has always been bigger then....much bigger lol (many reasons tbh). Even if I some how managed to loose a rediculous amount of weight and be very unhealthy I still would never get below a 10. I was always considered plus-size and obese starting at size 14. Now I'm at least around 18-22 depending on brand which is its own problem.
We just need to all fee comfy in our own bodies and feel sexy!~
Same, it made me feel like we can never win. We're always *too* something, so I've given up when it comes to trying to fit any kind of 'beauty standard'. It's turned me away from all social media, except RUclips (and I only visit the comments here when I have something I feel I must add my opinion to), and I can't even look at a magazine without getting annoyed because all they seem to care about is who got fat/thin and doing their best to photograph the most cellulite/wrinkles.
@@sarahjanefrost Right?! It's so sad!
@@sarahjanefrost I now put more likes and comments on creators that promote body positivity like Shaaba and Molly Carlson. We all struggle and it is refreshing to have younger folks that are open about their own struggles even if I thought in the past "what is this person complaining about". We have to learn to give ourselves a hug and say to ourselves "girl you rock" .
it's SO sad that the cut-off what counts as plus-sized (a horrible term anyway) is literally within a super normal range of body size.... people are made to shame themselves and others for being literally.... average.... [obvs the entire concept is bullshit, we don't need a dividing line, just let everyone be people...]
5:31 I'm a 20-22 size woman and I understand the initial snap of the original poster. When you said you feel plus size and also are a size 12 I also had that immediate response, but really my issue is that clothing companies consider 12 to be plus size, when it's a normal common size of a human. Its something that fed into my ED growing up. I always felt pressured to lose weight so I could fit into my size 9 jeans even though the last time I wore them was when I was in middle school (age 13). But because of people like you Shaaba I have disconnected my beauty from my weight, and my worth from my beauty. I may be the fattest I've ever been, but I am also the happiest I've ever been. I no longer binge eat or starve myself to fit into a box that was never made for me.
I so appreciate how kindly you've phrased this, and I'm SO happy for your internal strength and growth from all you've been through. Sending hugs x
When companies make you hate buying clothes because you’re supposed to work for it like it’s a promotion at work, we have a problem.
There needs to be a whole separate conversation about using "curvy" as a euphemism for plus sized clothing. You can be curvy at any size, it's a bust/waist/hip ratio.
literally it makes me so mad 😭 like im skinny. i have curves. ive met and seen plenty of fat people that have curves. saying someone is “curvy” says nothing about their actual size like shut the fuck up and stop being afraid of saying words that actually refer to someones weight. “fat” isnt a bad word
Preach!! US size 16ish here. Ever since I started sewing for myself and creating clothing that fits my body specifically, I realized how much bullshit clothing sizes are. The fashion industry is broken! I don't know how to fix it, but I love you all and your value is not derived from anything about your body. ❤
If you’re using commercial patterns, their sizing is a whole different kind of bullshit!!!!!
Is it difficult to start sewing? I have a machine gathering dust on my wardrobe, idk whether it's worth to start
@@cloudthief8918 for me, it's so worth it! There are tons of free resources for beginner sewists, and even just learning to hem your own pants and skirts or take in things to fit you better is a great life skill.
@@cloudthief8918I would say go for it!!!but I am biased, I love sewing!! It is a combination of creativity and manual skills, and it's sooo fulfilling!!! I hope someone else would answer your question and give you some tips on starting this journey, mine was a mix of self learning, advices from mom and mother in law, books and internet
I love when you say the way we look is the least interesting things about us. It's EXHAUSTING to be so concerned with how we superficially look (but it's so hard to escape).
Its funny because when I watched your previous video I had the opposite reaction because we're the same size and I *don't* consider myself plus size. Although I had the urge to comment, I realised, not only should I NOT be commenting on someone else's body, but i SHOULD be informed, so i also rushed to Google and found the same articles! I realised that we can *both* be right about our own bodies and was reminded that the patriarchy sucks 😅💖
I had the same reaction as the person who commented, because as someone who is significantly plus size I have experience so many times the whole “I understand because I have the same struggle” from people who are nowhere my size. Being a size 12-14 or even 16 a person doesn’t at all face the same struggles as being a size 24-26 or even bigger. People of all sizes and body types have to struggle with body image, cultural pressure around physical appearance, diet culture, etc but being actually plus size at a size where the majority of shops do not cater for that size, having larger feet and struggling to find shoes, facing discrimination about fertility issues due to one’s size (as that is something Shaaba mentioned), being labelled as lazy for being fat, and the many other struggles plus size people face on a daily basis as far beyond not being able to wear certain clothes. Fashion is just a small aspect of society’s hatred toward bigger bodies. To me Shaaba’s reaction to that comment actually shows a lack of understanding of the difficulties, which is not a slight on her and also makes sense because she isn’t actually plus size by most standards, but to me it actually validated that person’s point
@@s.a.4358yeah I think you can be fat (using this as a neutral descriptor) without being plus size. Or maybe we need different categorisations of plus size
@@s.a.4358 some people just don't disclose all of their struggles. I was nowhere near infertility issues, but I still underwent the other things you mentioned and I think part of what stopped me from going to the doctor as a kid was being put on a diet even though it wasn't what I wanted. I was a troubled teen with serious self-confidence complexes whch were also linked to me being taller than my kindergarten classmates, whom thought I was fat despite the fact that at that age I wasn't. This brought me to fear commitment, thus the fear of fixing my nutrition. The only main issue my weight brought me was varicose veins, but I am genetically prone to have them, as they run in both my parents' families. I'm glad you understood Shaaba's message and that we are aware of what society pressures us into doing. It's true that there are bigger problems in the world, but there are people who have interest in keeping us tied to more mundane things in order to not act upon our desire to help those in need. At some point this will stop and we will strive as the human kind, not perceived in a hierarchy with nature, but horizontally, at least for what we can with the means we share.
Mid Size is also a thing. I personally find UK12 mid size at most and even that is the small end. I dont see sizes accommodated by mainstream standard sizing as plus at all.
Clothes shopping literally has made me cry, and that’s just wrong.
r/usernamechecksout
Same, that's why I hate going shopping for clothes, it's so frustrating. Either, I don't find anything in my size or it's the most unflattering circus tent (because bigger people have to hide that they are big, apparently) that makes me look like a sack of potatoes.
I've been wearing basic t-shirts (mostly with geeky prints) and regular pants/shorts for who knows how many years now, because I can order them online.
It's so frustrating going shopping for stuff, finding something cute, and then finding out they don't come in your size. Or trying on something and it looks cute but it's just a little bit too tight to be comfortable.
I recently had to buy bathing suits cause I was going to go to a family reunion at a lake. It honestly felt so much better just buying multiple sizes off Amazon and trying them on at home without having to feel that sense of "Oh god, how many outfits will I have to try on today? How many will I just not take home cause they're too tight or uncomfortable? How many times will I need to talk to the dressing room person? How long will I take in there this time?" and then after being able to just return the stuff that didn't fit.
I also did the same thing with shoe size as I'm near the max available size in women's in the U.S. (10.5) but sometimes companies literally just don't make my size. Like they genuinely just skip from 10 to 11. I spent like 3 hours at a store trying to find something I both liked and fit me and went home upset cause I couldn't find anything. Ordering off amazon was so much better. Just type in shoe size, women's, find a design I like, and buy a couple sizes to make sure it fits right.
@@borealernadelwald That's something that bothered me for years. Just because someone is bigger doesn't mean they have to hide themselves. Why not show off a curvy figure? We as people come in all shapes and sizes, why not show our attributes?
I'm glad you can at least find something online, but you shouldn't be made to feel like you can't even go shopping for clothes.
this flipping sucks and you deserve much better peach x
It's so frustrating, I'm short, my BMI classes me as obese and 2 stone over my ideal weight, however I wear an 8 in tops and 10 in bottoms. The mixed messages we get from everywhere about our bodies, that really doesn't work for any of us is just so silly
So true. I'm so short that it is "impossible" for me to be under-weight according to BMI (there's literally no underweight category for my height) and even when I was ill and lost so much weight my ribs and spine stuck out, I was supposedly verging on obese. BMI just doesn't work so it's ridiculous that people can be denied IVF because of it
@@Megan-fq7umabsolutely it apparently started based on the average size for a man in belgium in like the 1700s sorry science but we’ve gotten bigger since then catch up!
BMI was an unscientific measurement scale created by a phrenologist(one of those guys who measures scalps and thinks the scalp demonstrates certain aptitudes).
Bmi is ridiculous. I was obese at size 12 apparently.
@@robyncorson4002 same only at a size 14 US only upside was it allowed me to get my covid vaccine early but I definitely remember feeling like obese wasn’t/isnt the right word for me/my body
I would LOVE to meet someone with only one size in their closet. I have pants from the same brand that are different sizes. 🙄
My closet is a hoot, I have size 4 slacks, size 7 jeans and a pair of jeans shorts that are somehow size 13 which both me and the cashier went ??? at. Like numerical sizes are a joke.
A push for equality in clothing - although it hasn't always been this way, as a man, my clothes also do not have one reliable size. I have trousers with a 30" waist to a 36" waist that fit the same. In addition to shirts that might be better called dresses somehow being too tight across the back of my arms, I have "large" men's shirts that are too small, "small" shirts that are too large, and when I was stuck without my baggage on a longhaul flight, the only boxers I could find were "XL", which I thought would be a problem because I usually wear medium or small, but I had to physically tear the legs open wider just to be able to get them up my thighs.
@@Soilfood365oh noo I always thought men's sizes were rational and consistent 😂 my disillusionment is immeasurable and my dream is ruined. We need to just use measurements and ratios or something…
Something that a lot of people fail to recognize is that not every plus size body is the same. Not everyone is plus size for the same reasons if that makes sense. I used to work at Torrid (a popular plus size company in the US) and they sell sizes 12-28 or 30 or something, I forget exactly. But the minimum was definitely 12. Some people shopped there because their pants have a really tall inseam option, and they could fit the smallest pairs. Some people just had wide hips and/or big boobs, and they probably wouldn’t otherwise be considered “plus size.” There were a lot of new moms who outgrew old clothing during or after pregnancy. Some people who were newly plus size, even if barely, and were embarrassed and confused on what to do. We had some men who would shop there, and I remember a super cool intersex chick who shopped there. She had a larger frame and our clothes fit her. (My gay ass was smitten) I also had trans customers for the same reason. There’s a lot of women who aren’t “fat” per se, but they just don’t have petite frames in general. I have broad shoulders and I’m tall, for example. Every customer was there for different reasons, but they were all there regardless. Sorry this is rambly but it pisses me off when people are told their feelings and experiences aren’t valid.
If "Someone else is bigger than you" makes a person "not plus-sized", than there is a single person on this planet who is allowed to call themself "plus-sized" ...
But also: You don't even have to be plus-sized to get desperate while shopping clothes. I'm 5' and wear a cup G. I sew all of my own clothes because clothes for my body literally don't exist in any shop (not even online). I wear some kind of mid-size. While brands for large cup sizes are already extremely rare - the single one I knew shut down -, the combination of a petite size (for example extremely narrow shoulders/back) and large cup sizes is nowhere to find. I can do nothing to change my body and there are no specialised shops for me. Yes, it really sucks, but I would never deny that other people with different bodies are struggeling, too.
Disabled body here, I just wanted to commiserate with everyone who has trouble buying clothes at the store (aka most people). I particularly hate vanity sizing because when they make the numbers mean larger size(s) they don't always add "new" smaller size(s). 00 is great when it's really a 1 but when 00 is actually a 3 or a 5 I'm left without an option. And petite sizing isn't an option if you aren't small in stature. So thin but long-limbed means you aren't petite. Where do I go when vanity sizes make my size disappear? I would think this gives me common ground with the plus sized people who also can't find their size in the store but people get so mad at me when I say that. Because I'm thin I can't relate to their problems. And yes society is nicer to thin but they are not nice to disabled bodies either. We all deserve a nicer world
Yes!! Your experiences are just affirming how fat phobia hurts *EVERYONE* regardless what size you are. It’s so frustrating not being able to find clothes that fit you, regardless where you fall on that scale (pun intended wink wonk)! I’m short, fat, & trans masc and trying to find pants that fit me in length is impossible no matter where I look-men’s or women’s, forget it. Ever since I was a teen, I resigned myself to just having to deal with pants that are too long for me. But I cannot deal with pants that do not fit my hips! So frustrating, no one should have to be subjected to this!
thank you so much for sharing your experience! as a skinny person i always feel like i don't have the right to complain about my struggles finding clothes that fit because fat people have it worse. but you're right, it's proof that fatphobia hurts everyone and that we need to work together towards the common goal of dismantling it
I have this problem due to my health issues too. Hell it's even hard to find shoes (3.5....) Luckily buying clothes from asian websites manage to fit a lot better than that of western ones, even if they still aren't a right fit.
I've experienced this with my favourite brand...clothes from 2017-2018 in an s/xs from them fit perfectly but the same size from their 2022 onward collections are always huge.
Imagine taking this into another situation. Let’s say I said I feel depressed, IMAGINE if someone pulls up with the “well technically to feel depressed you need to bla bla bla”. NOT OKAY
I could honestly see this happening. Someone answering such a comment by listing the clinical symptoms of depression. I can understand the urge to "gatekeep" certain kinds of suffering, because you feel misunderstood or like you're loosing your identity if "everyone starts calling themselves [...] while not checking all the boxes".
But that mentality and comparison hurts everyone. Even in the medical field, lists of boxes to check can be controversial, so yeah...
As long as people speak from personal experience, we should all breathe and remember we are not each other's enemies, the stigma is.
This attitude is why I watched a woman that is 5'6" and 365# get told she's isn't plus size and that shes not *allowed* to complain when people bully her being obese because the person telling her this is an inch shorter amd weighs more at 400#. It's why there has been a MASSIVE increase of this attitude online. I hate it.
Autistic moms do that with the autistic comminity. It drives me up the wall. Trying to tell autists we aren't Autistic. @@ankherin4360
It's funny cos i have been told that and that's actually how i learned that gatekeeping is bad
Literally. Saying that "You can't be this because I'm this and I have it *way* worse than you" like... ok? I'm sorry for you? But that doesn't invalidate the feelings and experiences that I had and have. It's saddening when some people are gatekeeping their bad experiences by invalidating others experiences when there could (and should) be solidarity.
I was a thin child and teen, but now as an adult I’m growing into a bigger more square body. When going shopping I am appalled that what size I am now (which is honestly not that big imo) is considered THE big size in so many stores. And I’ve even come across places now that does not have a size big enough for me. Which is ridiculous cause my body is such a normal sized body. I always wondered why my childhood friends who had this type of body back then always called themselves fat and such negative self talk. Cause I didn’t view them that way whatsoever, but now I understand. They view themselves that way bc that’s the signal they’re getting literally everywhere they go when buying clothes for themselves.
I struggle with body image/eating and this channel is really a big comfort place to me. Thanks for always speaking on things in such an insightful and gentle way Shaaba :)
And I’m sorry the comment section had become something to avoid for you!
Fashion student here. Sizing in the fashion world is exactly what Shaaba explains here. But it’s also very nuanced and confusing! For example, when she says you can get a size 12 at H&M and then go back a few months later and ur not a size 12 anymore: companies will go as far as to change their patterns that they are using to make the garments, so the sizes change as well (not just the label) it can be so frustrating!!! Listen to Shaaba about knowing ur measurements, it helps so much and removes the feelings attached to size labels (it also makes you feel soooo good when you find garments that fit your exact measurements so nicely) ❤
43 year old, size 4/6 (A cup) here.
I have been bullied for being too small (bust or in general) my whole life. I've been told it'll "catch up with me one day" or "one day you'll know how it feels" (so, wishing overweight-ness on me?).
I've also been told when I'm feeling bloated or have noticed an extra 5 pounds fluctuating here or there that I "have bo room to talk/complain".
At the end of the day, you (and only you) know what feels good on your body and what doesn't. Wanna lose 5 lbs? Go for it. Wanna gain 5 lbs? Go for it. Wanna diet or workout? You do you. Or not! No one can speak to your comfort, journey, body plan, etc. Wear what you want. Be happy with yourself.
No one lives in your body but you. And the people who profit off your body image, are the LAST people who get a say in how you feel about yourself. Love you guys!!!!!!!
👏👏👏 This 1000 times!
I have been a size 0 with the smallest size bra available in stores, and now am in the middle of the plus size range. I noticed that people felt the most free to make negative comments about my body when I was at my thinnest. Especially other women! They really think they can comment on someone's bust size and that that's okay. I feel less "singled out" as a heavier woman now. Or maybe I just care less about people's opinions now? 🤔
As someone who had an incredibly hard time gaining any weight for litteral decades of my life (I am approaching my third decade on this earth)
I feel so out of place for feeling sad for just loosing 5kg with the snip of a finger for just feeling stressed out and sad
I also started building muscle and I feel so good lol
my upper body looks triangular and I sometimes stand infront of the mirror and feel like a real life action figure
also during the ronny demic I finally earned some fat on my body and I was so excited
it was the first time my boobs grew since I was 14. (this is the weight I lost again sadly, or more correctly: I kept some of the weight and converted it to muscles and lost the extra fat)
women have a normal body fat percentage of like 20-30% that's 1/5 to 1/3 of our whole body weight!!!
fat is incredibly important for hormone production too, for keeping us alive in harsh and cold environments, for storing energy for periods of hunger
yet we demonize this incredibly important part of our bodies so much
Those of us who grew up in in the Heroin Chic (think Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan)/America's Next Top Model type era, were taught that plus size was basically size 8 and up. I agree with the commentary given in this video, but it does require a huge mindset shift for many of us in their 30's and beyond. Being fat myself growing up (I wore a size US 12 at 14 years old, and realistically that's an average body anyway), I always felt much larger that I probably looked.
ETA: As Shaaba was explaining the changes in sizing, I remembered that whole thing about Marilyn Monroe. In the 1950's she wore a size US 14, which is the equivalent of today's size 4-6.
Yup! I was a girls size 10-12 when the body shaming started. I was told they'd stop criticizing me when I at least dropped down to an 8.
I look back at pictures of myself at that age and i long to have that body back. I was such a cute, beautiful, healthy young girl. I thought my tiny pools of fat were cute and fun, but was taught to see them as repulsive.
I usually wear M/L, but I own anything from XS to XXL and they all fit. What I take from it is I'm afraid to buy clothes online because I feel every brand has different size chart and I need to try it before buying it.
I’m really short and petite/small framed but get a whole other type of shaming from others. When people have found out my shoes are from the children’s section I’ve been shunned, even accused of taking items needed by children. I can also fit into some teen clothing items and had people laugh at me if they’ve seen me purchase clothes in actual stores. For reference I’m 155cm tall and around 49kg.
I absolutely despise body shaming but thank you Shaaba for sharing all this information about what the clothing industry does, I’ve learnt so much!
I had to do some learning about this as well. I am fat. I am 1000% plus size. In UK sizes, I'm a 20-22. In the fat activist world, I needed to learn that as a fat person, I still have some "thin" privilege. I can fit in plane seats (barely), I can buy clothes off the rack, I am the level of plus size that has been offered an olive branch by the fashion industry. My body shape and ratio is the same as standard sizing, not plus size cuts. It is so weird in the purgatory middle ground. I face discrimination for being fat but I am also the average body size in the US so the discrimination I face is far less than what others do.
It's such a weird place to be in. I'm not technically plus-sized, but I'm short with chubby body type and so my relative proportions are a LOT more similar to plus-size models' than any "standard" models'
The calf implants thing really made me angry because I have been so ashamed of my calves (not ever been made fun of just a major insecurity). It is a literal genetic thing for me because my mom, grandma, and some of my Aunts also have generally larger legs. Something I always wanted to wear were tall boots but it is so freaking rare to find any that fit over my calves. I feel like it’s frustrating because they can go back if the fashion world shifts but my calves will always be bigger in proportion to other parts of my body.
I hear you!
Although I have always been proud of my calves, I trained quite rigorously when I was younger and got calves that looked like baby bottoms, I was always bummed about not being able to find tall boots or skinny jeans I had a sniffle of a chance to squeeze into. It must feel so much worse when you're already unsatisfied with how they look. I do hope you'll like them one day. =) Big calves are hot!
I feel you. At my biggest or smallest size I have never been able to fit a tall boot. Nothing over ankle height. My calves just don't allow it. My only option would be a custom made boot.
I had mid-calf boots once that fit my calves, because they zipped up and had some flex in the material. But that is once in almost 40 years of life, haha. I love the look of long boots but unless I figure out how and get enough money to have some custom made I don't there will ever be any that fit me.
I bought a "scuba knit" miniskirt at target - the fabric is really like one giant piece of textured elastic- and I made some gussets (?) To put in the back seam of my tall boots that were too small in the calf. It worked really well. I wanted to put that idea out there in case it helps anybody.
@@sheelfjohnson That's brilliant!
So where are the thigh high socks that will fit my muscular ass calves and my fat ass thighs? I am not insulting myself, I just want some THIGH HIGH SOCKS!
There's a company called Thunda Thighs. They fit on thicker legs really well. Snag tights also has good options for thigh highs for thicker legs
@@jamfx7942 omg thank you!
I recently bought a size XS shirt and a 2XL top in a two-week period... both fit me comfortably (not tight/oversized). I also had ordered 3 pairs of the same pant in the same size in 3 colours. One was too big, one was just right and one was too small. Clothing sizes are a joke.
no idea if I'm plus size or not (pre-op trans guy, 5'5 and 170 lbs) but I'm a screenprinter and can confirm that sizes are not universal. i print on Gildan, next level, and Bella+canvas mostly, you get some uniformity in unisex tees but ladies sizes are ALL OVER THE PLACE. drives me nuts when i can't put one XS on my platen, but another brand i can? to quote shaaba, MAKE IT MAKE SENSE 😑
As a regular listener (but not a regular commenter) it makes me really sad to hear that that's how you're feeling. I do really appreciate how you broke everything down and explained your thoughts and emotions.
FASHION RANT! I love this. I've been really into fashion for as long as I can remember and I've been considered "plus sized" since I was like 10 (and same rant about being "average" and also "plus sized" rude fashion industry) But I hate how much it changes so much between brands or different clothing piece differences. I remember shopping for a dress for a wedding years ago when I was a size 16 pant and an XL top (USA based) and in order to get a dress that fit my bust at the time I needed a 22. It made no sense, and that was the day I decided that the numbers on clothing didn't matter
I hate that we’re letting the size labels put on clothes define how we feel about our bodies. It’s all nonsense, when I was a 12-14 I was a skinny white woman because I’m 6ft - still couldn’t buy clothes in normal shops. Now I’m an 18 in most shops I’ve had to give up on mainstream shops all together
I remember a high school friend who absolutely HATED shopping for shorts because our school dress code only allowed shorts that fell at or below your fingertips, but she was so tall that 90% of the time she could only fulfill that requirement by buying actual full-length pants and making them cutoffs!
@@amethyst_cat9532I only buy men's shorts - women's shorts are too short, and I'm only 5'4" - it's ridiculous
I love both your and Jamie's videos, but would you ever consider adding subtitles to them to make them more accessible? I use the autogenerated English ones but they're not always correct. Great points in this video btw! Thanks!
I second this!! Commenting to maybe make the chance that this is seen bigger. Stay safe out there ❤
support this!!!
Hi peach, thanks for this! I wanna be really honest with you: accessibility generally is something we're constantly learning about and trying to improve. We've looked into custom subtitles multiple times, but it's something we simply don't have the resource to do for the volume of videos we put out. It's quite costly to outsource and too time intensive to do ourselves, and this is a common creator problem that we've fed back to social media platforms on multiple occasions. I understand social media teams are working on improved captioning and translation tools, but like with many things, it takes time. Sorry to not have better news at the mo x
even without going too far into the video, the “you’re not plus sized because you can go into any store and buy clothes in your size” comment is stupid. I am overweight myself (usually around 205-210 lbs at 5’2 ☠️) and i can go into any store and find clothes that fit me. doesn’t make me any less overweight
Kristin Chirico has addressed these things in ‘The Empty Suitcase Show’ where they mentioned how some people think that fat fashion cannot just be wraps and tent silhouettes.
One of the first things listed in a plus size pattern drafting book that I read stated that there are literally designers that will alter the sizes so that they can always fit into their preferred size, rather than showing that they are getting larger. It's ridiculous.
My bff and I have started to wear clothes that make us truly happy lately. We are both around size 24/26. We're big gals! We have never been complemented more in our lives about our appearance, or stopped so many times to ask about our clothes. It's so cool! Wearing what you love, not hiding who you are, is so empowering. It just sucks that it's so hard to find those clothes-or so expensive.
As a related note: We wore bikinis for the first time in our lives this past July. We both looked and felt so cute! Mine was Strawberry Shortcake themed, and theirs was My Melody. Ah! So adorable! 10/10 will be doing again.
Hi! 💖 If you don’t mind sharing, what was the plus-size pattern drafting book? I’m interested in learning about pattern drafting (I’ve been sewing for a couple of years now), but I always have doubts about if the mainstream pattern drafting books will be helpful for making things for larger bodies. 🥲
@@cvgsunset5844 Hi! I don't have access to the book right now, but I think it was 'Sewing for Plus Sizes: Creating Clothes that Fit and Flatter' by Barbara Deckert. I would really recommend Dorothy Moore's 'Pattern Drafting and Dressmaking' (1971) as well. It's so easy to follow.
I am a size 12/14 (between Large and XL) and in Canada, I consider myself midsized. People have gotten mad at me for saying so many different things about my size, and what I've learned is that what you consider yourself is based on YOUR experience. Sometimes I walk into a store and find my size right away (even if it is tucked way in the back) but sometimes I find absolutely nothing in my size. I don't consider myself plus size but if someone my size does, I understand. I am not taking away from the struggles of being over size 14, but my struggles are still valid and so are Shaaba's.
Thank you for having videos like this honestly talking about body positivity cause you are so right! everybody deserves to feel confident in their body!!!
I am puzzled why medicine/medical still use BMI since the what is underweight, normal weight and overweight is just Adolphe Quetelet (the inventor of BMI)´s personal opinion, not even based on what people in general thought what underweight, normal weight, overweight.
When I started at a new doctors one time, they checked my BMI, informed me I was overweight and made me feel bad about it. At the time, I’d never worn a clothing size above a 12, and generally my friends thought of me as being slim (like, I met up with an old school friend around that time, and her first comment to me was “still skinny, I see”, and she wasn’t trying to be flattering or anything, just making an observation based on how she saw me), yet there I was, apparently overweight! And it really shocked me, and, for a time, affected how I view myself. I think it’s such a dangerous metric. I was eating a good, varied diet, getting plenty of exercise, and I really didn’t know what else to do, and felt like any heath issues I had at the time were all my fault. Thankfully, as badly as it affected me, I have always had a healthy enough relationship with food not to start down any dangerous paths, and I decided that while I could reduce some of my less healthy eating habits, like chain eating chocolate bars to ease my depression, which obviously wasn’t a good thing to be doing, I would not concern myself with my weight, and would focus on eating what I enjoy, which happily is a variety of things. I’ve lost some weight now, since I reduced my sugar intake in solidarity with my newly diabetic mum, but I have no idea if my BMI would be considered any better than it was then, and I don’t care to check. There are more important things for me to focus on.
It was also written when people were still living on rations, so very little food at all.
I am one of these people who have multiple sizes in my wardrobe. I have a top that's a size 12 that fits and then it goes from mostly 14 up to 22 or more. In formal dresses I have to go bigger than that and then tailor the bust and length because my waist is similar to my bust in measurement but my cup size is average so don't have the assets for the very big formal dresses. I also have naturally athletic legs and arms (natural muscle) so when my bmi is checked at the doctors every time I have to go back and say my pcos is getting worse and need another prescription of BC, it says I'm obese and even my gp says I could do with weight lifting daily and running several marathons to decrease the circumference of my thighs and arms to reduce my bmi.
I also struggle with this whole concept because I partook in ED type behaviours just to keep my weight down in school and stop myself from getting bullied (wasn't all that chonky at the time) and never told a soul about it so people never called me crazy etc. The constant changing beauty standards and this clothes sizing business is making me consider returning to that place when everything else just isn't working change societies perception of me
@@tanyastacy-haws993 that is right. I had forgotten about that.
The BMI chart is so bogus. According to it, Will Smith was obese at the time he did I, Robot! So, where is his chub?
TRIGGER WARNING - Eating Disorder.
Thank you Shaaba! I have an eating disorder and this stuff triggers me, both from a clothing/sizing stance and a medical one, as BMI isn't accurate for people in recovery or recovered from eating disorders. Been having a relapse and this video came at the perfect time for me. I'll be saving this video to get logic into me when I need it!
Hey! I hope you're doing fine and if not, I hope you'll feel better. Lately it's been harder for me too. But I'm sure we'll make it through it. 💪🏻
@@cat__error Thank you, we will 💪Sorry to hear you're having a tough time too
According to BMI I am overweight. I generally wear a UK size 8. This is so twisted.
And also clothing sizes in general are horribly inconsistent and it is mad that society is still attaching judgement and value to the random numbers on clothing tags.
I really hope that we as a society can unlearn this toxic standard.
I think the main factor is that everyone can have bodily insecurities but fat phobia specifically stems from the systematic inequality that people over a certain weight experience eg medical gaslighting, not having clothes available to them, having to buy extra seat on flights etc.
Completely agree with you about how fashion sizing sucks, and how people can experience fat shaming even at average and small sizes. But there is a world of difference between the shaming and access difficulties experienced by someone who is a size 12-14 vs someone who is 18+, 24+, 30+... That doesn't mean that your feelings are invalid, but I think it is really important to acknowledge the differences.
We get enough shaming from society and the different fashion brands. There is no need for us to shame each other, be we large, small, or somewhere in between. What matter is that we are comfortable with ourselves. even if modern beauty standards would say otherwise.
Hi Shaaba, I am an engineer and there is a third factor to variation in clothes size. Because the majority of clothes are factory made. For instance when they cut out the individual pattern pieces out, they might be cutting 200+ layers of cloth at once. This can be done from a pattern mould, which is a thin piece of metal shaped like the pattern. What happens then the fabric at the top of the pile is closest to the size, while further down in the pile the metal pattern cutter has been deflected so the pieces at the bottom are bigger, but these might all be destined for a size 12 pair of pants. Then you have tolerances. I have no idea what tolerance ranges clothing factories use, but I can tell you the tighter the tolerance (the range of acceptable sizes) the more expensive it is to maintain the equipment. With how cheap clothing actually is, I doubt they are trying to keep this to a minimum
What tripe 😂
"Oh it's not our fault! Our hands are tied by the equipment's limitations!"
Then design better equipment!
@@MaisieSqueak it's not that better machines can't be built but that it costs money and a lot of money to maintain it, which is okay if the thing you are selling is for a lot of money. P.S. I am an engineer, explaining how equipment works. I don't work in fashion industry.
@@MaisieSqueak When fast fashion brands are trying to sell pants for like 20 dollars or less they're not going to invest in better equipment or make smaller, more accurate batches though. If people want really nicely, carefully made clothes they have to be willing to pay a lot more money for them.
I'm not willing to pay a ton of money for clothes, but I also wear what clothes I do buy until they're threadbare or have holes in them that I can't sew or patch up, lol, so I hardly ever end up buying clothes. But I know some people who go clothes shopping weekly or monthly because a lot of stuff is super cheap. That super cheap stuff cannot and will not be carefully cut and stitched. That's why it's super cheap.
Your feelings are incredibly valid, and it is true that society wants us to feel bad about ourselves. But, to me, this is an issue of oppression more than feelings. I have been medically discriminated against because of my weight. Doctors have told me to just lose weight and refused to listen to me about my medical problems until it got so bad, I had to go to the emergency room and get surgery. You mentioned having fatphobic doctors and being passed over for opportunities because of your weight. There is a lot we can do with therapy, self talk, self compassion, and advocacy, but until we address the discrimination against fat bodies, we will have less rights, less resources, and shorter lives.
There is also a financial cost to being larger. I am glad that you are able to find clothing in your sizes at most stores. I am not. I often have to pay $2-$10 more for the same clothing items (same brand, color, design, and retailer) in my size. We need more voices fighting against this financial discrimination.
My slim, healthy 6 year old was deemed "obese" by the BMI standard... fucking ludicrous, honestly!
I've had similar things said to me and I do understand where the commenter is coming from. Sometimes people who aren't plus size say they have body issues too and conflate self esteem and body image with the actual societal marginalization that comes with being fat. It's important to recognize the difference. Someone who is a size 8 can feel too fat and have all the baggage that comes with that (eating disorders for example) but they won't be denied medical treatment or kicked off a flight or lose out on job opportunities for it the same way someone who is a size 22 might. All that said, it shouldn't invalidate your experience as a size 12, or anyone else's. Obviously different levels of struggle and discrimination exist, as with anything else.
to be fair I have been buying clothes based on how comfortable they are. size tags are impractical for me because like you said, they're very inconsistent. this has been very informative thank you.
7:00 What I'm hearing is, "plus-size" means literally nothing.
I wear a 14-16 in most US brands. 1X from Unique Vintage (I very much love them LOL). I order a lot of clothes from eShakti and I use their custom sizing option to get clothes that fit the body I HAVE rather than some arbitrary standard that cannot exist. (ESPECIALLY good for jeans) When I sew for myself I wear a 22 because printed pattern sizes are much smaller and more similar to formal wear sizing.
I hate that society is so weird about just...having bodies. We all have one and I wish everyone could find stuff they love to adorn their body without feeling like garbage about it.
Omg pattern sizes blew my mind when I started sewing 😂
Although my pants are only US size 8, I'm only 4' 11" and I had a psychiatrist (who I never saw after this) tell me that I needed to lose weight because I was a little chubby despite being the recommended weight for my 4' 8" partner (according to the BMI, which is trash). My weight is finally steady after being extremely underweight then being considered overweight and suddenly dropping a bunch of weight due to my very physical job but I'm sure that doctor would want me to still be so thin you could count my vertebrae.
TLDR: BMI is trash and some doctors are also trash, even if you're a "healthy" weight.
Humility sizing works with an other way, too: Offering only small sizes gatekeeps your brand as for "skinnies only", and people who can fit them buy them more because it not only makes them feel good to be able to fit those clothes, it causes pleasure to know that others know that too.
not sure if anyone has posted this but i was curious because i did take a few fashion design classes in high school. What is the difference between say the sizes when i was younger to those of today. This is the info i found-
In the 1980s, plus size clothing was generally considered to be sizes 14 and up. However, clothing sizes have changed over time, and what is considered plus size today may not have been considered plus size in the past. For example, a size 4 in the 1990s might be a size zero today.
Today, plus size clothing is generally considered to be sizes 14W-24W, with sizes 26W and above being considered super sizes or extended sizes. The fashion industry generally considers plus-size models to be anyone larger than a size 6, but most plus-size models are now a size 12/14 or higher.
The BIGGEST thing people need to remember is that these "sizes" are picked almost each year by the fashion industry. It is a sliding scale that has gotten into my head many times when I suddenly appeared to have gone up two sizes. I have never understood why they do this and have started to not really pay attention to the labeled size and have started going off my physical measurements.
So my suggestion is to do similar. You can buy a clothing tape measure off the internet for about 10$.
I want people to be empowered about their bodies. You should be able to love who you are.
super appreciate this insight, thanks for sharing! x
@@shaaba Glad to share. Especially when countries will use different "sizes". Going off your measurements makes it so you can buy clothes pretty much anywhere
I was genuinely surprised that you consider yourself as plus size. The modelling considering such a small size as plus size makes sense of that. Thanks for being so candid.
Great video! It’s crazy companies will try to drag their clients up and down to exploit them for profit.
Back in the early to mid 2000's (when I was a teenager and young adult) I was an Aussie size 14 for a while. That was what I considered a very normal size just from looking around but a lot of stores weren't interested in anything over a size 12. It used to make me feel so bad about myself, even though I didn't think of myself as big at all. A lot of shops nowadays sell up to 16s or 18s, and some even have real plus sized ranges, but I still remember the pain of not being able to find anything in my size 14. Nowadays I'm far bigger, often wearing an Aussie size 26, but it's easier to accept a lot of shops not stocking things in my size when I can really see myself as fat than when I thought my size was fine and "normal". A lot of stores often have websites nowadays so it's easy to see if they even stock anything in my size. If I can't look it up in advance for whatever reason, I light heartedly ask the store clerk as I enter something along the lines of "Do you have anything in land whale size 26?" It breaks the awkwardness and they're generally a lot more likely to be helpful, be that showing me what they think I might be able to fit in or helping me find a store that might have something. Otherwise, for whatever reason, if I just try to find things in my size on my own, I often get ignored and/or avoided.
I have learned that the store where I buy the majority of my clothes, where I am a size large or 14, is my starting point in other stores. I pick up the large first, then go up if need be. The size on the tag means nothing, it’s the fit that matters. The sooner people realize this, the better off they will be. Information like you shared about sizing needs to be more mainstream. Side note…sewing patterns from the 50’s and before have me as plus sized…the 14 from then is today’s 16-18. Something to keep in mind if you shop vintage! When I was a teen I was a 16 and I was thinner than I am now…40 years later…The fashion industry sucks!
I am a very “basic dresser” - blue jeans, black printed (typically manga/anime/cartoon) t-shirt and a (number of) blue sweatshirt(s). I was so shocked/disappointed and frustrated when the brand of jeans I had been buying for years decided to (what I later found out and have had reinforced by this video) “humility (re) size”. I had ordered them online and thought that maybe something had happened with labeling and I just needed to exchange them. At the store I went “up” 4 sizes from my “normal” and still couldn’t fit. I literally sat in the change room holding in my tears and “disgust” at myself even though I KNEW there was no way I could walk into the store wearing the exact same jeans with a size 10 label on it yet not be able to zip up a size 18 of THE EXACT SAME jean. I knew it. I knew they were doing some kind of BS stunt with the sizing and it had nothing to do with me, but decades of hating my body and then the changes of having 2 babies absolutely crushed me. I wound up buying “men’s” jeans because they are by measurement and I couldn’t mentally handle the thought that I had “doubled” my size. Apparently there was a fair amount of backlash over it because 6 months later (when I was finally able to go back into the store, and the jeans I had bought were truly not meant for my body shape) the sizing was back to normal. I do know it wasn’t just that store, or a “bad batch” because my first pair was an online order, and I actually went into a store near me right after to exchange them thinking the label was wrong. When I finally realized what the company had done I was in a store 2 hours away from my house, so it was obviously company wide.
It is true that the sizes vary and are fairly arbitrary
Recently I was in zara, tried on two T-shirts -same design but different colours
One a small one a medium
The ‘medium’ one was noticeably smaller than the ‘small’ one in the other colour 😭 HOW
oh holy wow how does that work 🫠
Can't believe anyone would call mumma shaaba disingenuine, they obviously haven't been in this wonderful community long 😊
wanted to highlight another important issue as to why there is so much size variation: fast fashion's lack of quality controls. A skilled worker being paid a good amount of money will take pride in their work and have enough TIME to ensure every garment is manufactured to a specific standard. but that isn't how fast fashion is made. Patterns are cut by the hundreds (leading to big size differences between the piece of fabric at the top and the bottom), seam allowances a minimal/nonexistent to save material (so the worker can't adjust if the cut came out wonky), and workers need to turn pieces around so quickly they aren't meticulously measuring things to be within size tolerances. None of this is the fault of the worker and it's all the fault of the business running such tight margins quality control is impossible.
Not to mention issues of the wrong fabrics being chosen, so that things are stretchy when they don't need to be, or not pre-shrunk so they appear to fit better when you try it on, also lead to size variations.
Buying a more expensive brand isn't even a guarantee of avoiding this -- often times they use the same manufacturing processes, and just pocket more of the profit. So this isn't even meant to shame people for buying cheap clothes. its the whole industry.
I watched the original video and I didn't feel you did anything particularly wrong, I'm not going to lie I wouldn't consider you plus size, I myself am a 16/18 and I believe the national average in the uk is now a size 16 but I may be wrong there, however I think you are absolutely right you didn't do anything wrong and you did not come across as using the term plus size even though you knew you were if that makes sense. also it's taken me the better part of 20 years to get proper diagnosis for my asthma and multiple other consitions cause the Dr's always told me I was fat 😑
I really appreciate your kindness and the way you approach contentious topics with curiosity and respect. I feel safe here 😊
Thank you Shaaba, this was what I needed to hear....I try so hard to accept the size I am, but it seems the only way to know that size is measurements because commercial sizes are so variable. I often feel bad or falsely good when trying on clothes depending on the label size
Honestly I'd be pretty mythed off if I ever came across a clothing range where (UK) size 12 is considered plus size. 12 is the lowest my body CAN go, regardless of weight, simply because my skeleton is pretty wide. If these beauty standards literally go down to the bone then we're done for as a society.
and they make tshirts SO BIG nowadays. wnen I'm buying a plain fruit of the loom type tshirt i always get a size Large, and in all the shops the same size shirt is suddenly marked as a size Small?? i get that they're supposed to be oversized, but it's so confusing!! just mark them as their actual size. if people want their shirt bigger, they will buy a bigger size.
As someone from a fringe end of the clothing size spectrum the idea that brands shouldnt be able to label size ranges more narrowly is WILD. Like please that kind of labelling is helpful when actually shopping. If I see plus size or mid size or tall size I know its not for me but if I see petite (I am a shorty) its better hunting grounds. Also plenty of smaller brands arent going to be able to cater to the full range of sizes, I get a lot of indie fashion and limited size ranges (I have seen some only do plus size as well) are the norm and it makes sense due to minimum order quantities and cost. Being able to label what type of size range a small brand caters to helps people at a glance figure out if they should spend time browsing.
the point of the video is that size labeling varies. what a specific brand labels 12 another labels 14, and that can change too. the point is that you CANT know exactly what size you are with how different and subjective labeling them is, and i doubt anyone has just one or even two sizes in their closet. this video is not saying brands shouldn't label anything ever, it's about how flawed the whole current labeling system is bc it's based on arbitrary standards
@@AstronomicalJelly You're missing the point of my comment that descriptive names for size bands are helpful? Like sure individual sizes may very but if the brand caters towards plus size or mid size or tall size or petite it helps to label it as such?
@@vcutler4735again, shaaba is not saying that labels in general shouldn't exist. but as she showed in the video, even "general" sizing differs, like the examples she showed on what different brands consider "plus" size to start between 8-14 which is such an unspecific range.
No matter what you're describing/talking about, there's always someone waiting to scold you about how they have it worse.
I like how mens clothing is sold by the waist/leg measurement. I wear 30x32 although I also like to get the leg an inch or so longer so it just depends on how much ankle I feel comfortable with showing.
In the UK, men's trousers are generally 2 inches more around the waist than the label indicates.
Please don’t go away. I’ve learned so much from you. Specifically a post on gender and sexuality that helped me understand myself. I felt so validated. I’m in my 40s and spent my entire life thinking I was wrong until that post.
I hate getting clothes because of the non-conformity on sizes in the women's section requires me to try on every piece of clothing before I buy it to make sure I'm getting a size that fits me. Due to my illness shopping already tires me out, but if I have to try on maybe three different sizes in the same piece of clothing to figure out my size then I run out of energy pretty quickly to do any more shopping afterwards. But I think my main issue is that here in the UK I have only found this issue in the women's section. Any time I've shopped in the men's section of multiple clothes stores I am the same size in every single shop and with nearly every item (can be a smaller or bigger size depending on the design of the clothes and if I want it more tight or loose fitting).
I've realised this too with my boyfriend. He knows exactly what size he is to the point where he can afford to shop online without knowing his precise measurements. This happens in physical shops too, he simply chooses the trousers that he likes and they always fit at the first try. No need to find three different models. Once again we are confronted with the privilege of men and thin people.
This doesn’t always help, but when I thrift shop I know the sizes are going to be all over the place.
A few years ago, while in a waiting room, I spotted a fashion magazine with something like "in celebration of plus sizes" on the cover. How refreshing, I thought... When it came right down to it, the celebration was a single 8 page feature of one model wearing different outfits AND she wasn't particularly plus sized. The rest of the magazine was the usual fare. Pah.
I agree with a lot of what you’re saying Shaaba but there has been a huge problem recently with thin/mid size (have to use that term as there’s no other way to describe it) women co opting the body positive movement that was created by people of colour who describe themselves as fat and have fought for fat liberation for decades. That’s probably why OP was so upset even though I agree that their comment should have been a lot gentler as you obviously don’t have bad intentions. Body positivity is for everyone but some people need it a lot more than others.
The way I see it is that those who suffer the most should have the loudest voice in a movement. This is a bit of a clumsy comparison but it would be like bisexual women comparing their struggles to what trans women are currently facing in the UK. Both groups have legitimate struggles but trans women are currently those who need change the most.
For example if you look at Stephanie Yeboah’s stories posted today you will see that simply be have just done a press trip that includes only one plus size person when they are supposed to be a plus size brand. This is what happens when slim to midsize people center themselves in the movement. I’m not saying you’re doing that just that there are legitimate things behind OP’s comment
super appreciate this context and you sharing your thoughts so kindly. I've starting following Stephanie and am excited to learn more! Also appreciate your parallel re bi and trans women - I still stand by my point that there shouldn't be infighting as it doesn't help anybody, but I understand where you're coming from x
Your wedding dress looked PERFECT on you! I'm a plus size girl with lipedema so my struggle is with my bottoms and tops being 2 different sizes. I love me some baby doll tops and dresses for that reason.
your suddenly making me realise why i hate shopping for pants because my size varys so much depending on the brand 🤯
I would love to see you talk to some of the fashion historians like Bernadette Banner, Nicole Rudolph, or Abby Cox about topics like this. Nicole Rudolph actually did a video on how sizes came about, which was really interesting.
I knew about vanity sizing but absolutely not about humility sizing. And now it makes sense why I have to go literally 3 sizes up in some shops
I think because you have a well proportioned hourglass figure that might also be part of why some people might not consider you "plus size" at a glance since proportionally you have a small waist. Generally number sizes are kind of ???, if you usually need something larger than an extra large or XL or from a dedicated plus size range that's usually a better indicator than a numerical size.
Even that has an asterisks, as you mentioned, because I am a US size Extra Small usually but fit Japanese/Chinese/Korean Medium and when I went shopping for bras in Japan I was straight up turned away from the dressing room because the attendant thought I was plus size (I am a 32A in American which is often too small to be stocked but ended up the largest size at the Japanese lingerie store who would let me try stuff on). Wild times.
I will say though, Tutuanna is a great bra brand if you ever are in Japan needing a bra! I have had these for nearly 10 years and they are still going strong with like no signs of wear.
appreciate these insights, thanks for sharing x
i would like to point out that in the netherlands and countries bordering it (except for the uk apparently) the sizes actually are standardized to the point you usually only really fluctuate between 2 sizes (personally fall between 42 and 44, the letter sizes have a lil bit more fluctuation but still mostly fall between L and XL, and very rarely can fit an M)
I wanted new shorts for my holiday, i brought 3 pairs of the same size/style/material and the only difference was the colours. They all fit differently and in the end i only brought the one out of frustration.
I love you for this video! When I went on my initial video binge of your content, I remember the clothing hauls and all the body positivity videos, and they really helped me. This video seems like an evolution of all that. It shows how far you have come while still proving you can always learn more, and passing that learning on to us is sooo valuable (I didn't know vanity and humility sizing was a thing, and I've lost count of how many people I've known that never thought of measuring themselves and bringing a tape measure shopping). I've struggled all my life with all this stuff, and if I'd seen this kind of content in my 20s it would have made shopping for clothes a much better experience. I'll be passing this on to a few people who need exposure to your positive yet realistic mindset on this. ❤
I feel you so much here! Also - the fact that clothing size is dictated by hip and shoulder and chest size, is not always good for those of us with unusual shapes 😢 I have a tummy but my issue is that I have huge, very wide set shoulders and hips (not fat, just very broad bones, there’s no padding there and I easily bruise so I know it!) plus very big chested so I’m a size 16-18/20 despite my waist size being that of a size 10-12… technically I have an “hourglass shape” (with crazy skinny legs like some weird fat flamingo lol), but nothing ever fits right. Stretchy clothes are my only option but my skinny legs make everything looks baggy in the wrong places and far too tight in others. Plus the tops are pulled in all the wrong places due to my fireman’s shoulders in the back and bazookas in the front 😂 men’s clothes sometimes fit me better as they’re designed for the broader shoulders - but then I’m let down by the chest part. I’ve never felt good in any clothes for this reason and prefer to just hide in baggy hoodies and jeans. Ironically, since I gained more weight these last few years, my body shape became a tiny bit more in-proportion, but I’m still a weird flamingo 😂. Fashion just makes most people feel awful about ourselves so I’m glad this video at least made me smile and feel a bit better about myself so thank you from one PCOS person to another ❤
I can't wear anything from the store that is not mostly stretchy materials, because my proportions are so wildly all over the place. I started to make my own clothes because of that, so that I can have some tailored pieces too.
i'm not going to go into full detail of why my body is this way , but as a plus size woman i know what you mean , i was a size 12 but i was bullied by family and was told i was too fat , was over weight and it made my cute looks look ugly........ so a mix of reasons i'm not going into, i got bigger, but then i met someone and i started to feel happy and i started working on myself then i lost weight and now i'm down to a size 24 or 20 something....... and now living away from family..... i'm starting to work on myself again , i've been different sizes and have been told bad things.... and i wish we would all just be nice to each other and support each other, everyone's journey in life is different and valid , i hope you have a happy day Shaaba.
Just because some one isn't slender, it doesn't mean they're inferior. Skinny people are not "better" people. I have been body shamed & it's just wrong. You are lovable and valuable as a human, it does not matter what you look like. Take care of yourself for YOU, love yourself, and good luck.
Just because some one isn't slender, it doesn't mean they're inferior. Skinny people are not "better" people. I have been body shamed & it's just wrong. You are lovable and valuable as a human, it does not matter what you look like. Take care of yourself for YOU, love yourself, and good luck.
We are a dressmaking service and we present our sizes with measurements front and centre.
We also offer some adjustable garments in the spring. As we produce each garment to order, if you need a slimmer waist or a longer torso, we can alter our pattern to fit you best we can. We won't charge you for that.
Our mission is to provide the closest thing to "bespoke" we can while keeping the price reasonable.
We specialise in Retro - Afropean fashion, [edit] _however_ we can Westernise our designs.
Only3Sewing is still a baby brand (and we still have day jobs) but we believe that reasonably priced clothes made for you and just you - as opposed to for everyone is the next big thing.
Hello everyone! Thank you Shaaba for even bringing that topic up, as you said this industry is so insiduous and every time I go shopping for clothes, I find myself crying and feeling awful about my body because it doesn't fit into what it is supposed to fit (what is deemed beautiful). I have an average body size but whenever I go to the doctor's, I'm told I'm obese and need to lose weight. it's always about losing the weight, not learning how to treat our body with love and simply give it what it needs (sleep, nutrients, water, etc.). So thank you so much for this reminder! Sadly it is still very much needed! Thank you for sharing your experience! Love you
I really relate to this, in a slightly different way. I always received mixed reactions to my talking about having been plus sized, when I wore 18/20 most of my adult life. "But you're tall." Literally doesn't make it any easier to find clothing, and after a point, leg holes never seemed to be bigger. I still generally struggle because I have an athletic build, but I lost a bit of weight, putting me at 12/14 and it was weird for me to be straight sized, having been told I was big my entire life.
I’m mid sized and have body dysmorphia so I have so many bottoms that are too big and many tops that are too small. And it’s just really frustrating not being able to see my body objectively
as a 6' 3" trans femme (190+ cm) it's a massive struggle to find something cute to wear. I have to shop tomorrow for a wedding (just a top) and it freaks me out due to the size inconsistency.
I am glad you posted this because it's super important to learn from these things. I appreciate how genuine you were in your explanation.
Long tall sally might help sometimes if you haven't found it yet.
While we're calling out bad companies, we could condemn the fast fashion ones, too, like H&M, forever 21, Shien and Bloomchic. I wish I had good names to recommend but a lot of the ethical clothing brands are more niche so are also (shockingly) not greatly plus size options
Ooof.
My thoughts, more generalized for various marginalized and discriminated groups, like trans, neurodivergent, fat, etc):
1. Gatekeeping is shitty. If you experience things that make you feel like you belong into a label, you get to identify with it.
2. If you are targeted with discrimination for the thing, you are part of it.
3. Everything is a spectrum. Just because someone experiences more discrimination, microaggressions, daily challenges or outright hatred, does not mean your own experience is not valid and part of it. Be mindful of privileges you might have that make your experience a bit less negatively impacting, but it does not mean your struggles are not real.
4. A group is never a monolith. Don't act like you are the voice of all the others. You can't go “i'm fat and i don't experience xyz so it's not a structural problem and YOU are overreacting“ or “All trans people are like me and if you are not like me, you are not trans“. Just don't do that shit. Speak about yourself and if you can educate, say things like “there are also others who experience more x or less y“.
5. If you see one person talking about their experiences, keep in mind that they are a single person. Listen to more than one person on the topic!
Ever since I found out that plus-size (specifically in modeling) begins at a size 6, I’ve kind of given up on trying to justify what is and isn’t considered plus-sized. It’s just a word companies use to seem more inclusive than they often actually are, and at least in the usa sizing isn’t even standardized anyway.
I'm just here to add that as a smaller sized person, even when that was apparently considered the ideal, I was also judged for being "too skinny" (to my face, by family/friends/doctors/strangers). I'm lucky that I am able to just ignore what people say and only take my personal doctors comments onboard, I am aware that is usually objectively harder for people in mid-plus size bodies
Thanks for mentioning non-binary folks. As someone with a flat chest but wider hips, I end up having to get clothes made or tailored because my body type is so atypical. Even character creators in game engines have never created the ability to model my own body in a game. One day, perhaps... but I'm not holding my breath!
Been a silent watcher of your channel for sometime now. Always putting your video's up as a comfort thing. Just wanted to say from a girl who is a European size 52/54. I would never get angry if someone with a smaller clothing size would call themselves plus size. And my heart broke a little to hear you defend yourself just because you spoke from your own expierence. You Shaaba are a wonderfull , lovely and beautiful person who derserves to be treated with kindness. Please stay the lovely positive inclusicve bean that you are. But also thank you for this video and handeling these kind of comments the way you do!
Having a body is rough!
Mine is aging, from literally having Marilyn Monroe's measurements for the majority of my life, to now having a 40 year old mom of 3 hysterectomy body.....thank god for my silvering curls!
We just need to fall in love with being human....
As someone who has sewn both normal and historical clothing, one of the reasons many designers stick to smaller sizes is that they are much easier to design clothes for. Otherwise, capitalism would have already seen to the huge market gap in plus size clothing. Thinner people are more predictably shaped than fatter people, and so designers know how things will drape and fit better. As you add mass, it makes bigger and bigger differences in how things fit different people, because there’s such a variety in where we carry fat or muscle. Somewhere in the midsize area is the place where the pattern stops being able to be sized up by just adding more fabric all around, and you have to actively adjust where things like sleeves, collars, hems, etc go to account for the change. That’s why so many fast fashion plus size shirts have an issue with enormous armholes, because they just added extra all the way around, so it’s really made for a resized straight size person and not someone in plus sizes. Even in historical patterns that are just rectangles based on fabric/loom width and your measurements, sewn together in specific ways, at a certain body size they cease working.
It’s infinitely frustrating as a plus size nonbinary person with a very exaggerated hourglass shape, who fits somewhere in US women’s sizes 26-32/4x-6x. Honestly looking forward to having top surgery of some kind, whether it’s a breast reduction or complete mastectomy, because I usually have to go up a minimum of two sizes from my other top measurements to accommodate Ridiculous Boobs.
The Asian printed pattern that you take to a tailor honestly sounds like a decent system if it was applied to everyone, with maybe some mockups that allow you to see if you like the general cut and color.
I’ve decided that with my size, my fabric allergies (can’t wear polyester and many other artificial fabrics), being disabled , a part time wheelchair user, and having sun allergies,, what I’m going to need to do is make or commission most of my garments if I want to actually be able to enjoy my clothes. It sucks and is alienating, but also a little freeing. What would you wear if you could decide on it yourself instead of relying on designers to generate ideas for you? For me, I know I want to wear *art* whenever I can, because I love to. And that matters almost as much as comfort and practicality to me.
Arm holes for tank tops that show half or more of your bra. And short sleeves instead of half sleeves.
So, for some reason, I have always been bad with numbers. I couldn't memorize my size in shoes in jeans in etc, to save my life. When I immigrated to a western country, I tried a little to figure out the size system, but after watching some RUclips videos talking how arbitrary and changeable these numbers are, I gave up. Right now, I feel I am blind to the numbers! I just pick a few items with consecutive size numbers and try them to choose the best one. I figured out I hate online shopping, so I don't have problem figuring out my size for an online item either.
Moreover, I try to put items in the broader words of small, medium, large. I know extra small and large does not fit me. And I have found so many items in small or medium or large that fit me. I put it on the companies' policies and I am not bothered by them.
I'm so glad I'm not alone in the frustration of being an "average" size. I measure at a 12 to 14 but I can never get those sizes to fit in shops. I'm also pear shaped so nothing fits me right. I have been spiralling because even sewing patterns that claim to be size 14 are in fact many inches smaller so I can't even make basic patterns to fit me.
I also have had someone pass off clothes that I told them wouldn't fit but they claim I'm "skinnier than them" and couldn't possibly be the same size as they are. So many say I shouldn't complain but I'm so stressed having no clothes that fit and no one understands that I'm not skinny and I don't want to be, I'm so much more comfortable in my body after eating healthy amounts than under eating but my goodness is the way shops size things hurting my soul
I was shopping at an outdoor market in France with my mum a couple of years ago, when I split my trousers bending down to pick up some dropped change...
So we went into one of the boutique clothes shops on the edge of the market (the kind that you find all over many French towns and cities) to buy me some new trousers.
I looked up my UK size in French sizes and found a couple of options from the rails to try on. None of them fit, but the shop assistants were very helpful in helping me find a pair that fit in a larger size (which I just put down to either an inaccurate conversion or the fact I'd put on a little bit of weight at that time) - the original pairs I chose weren't available in a larger size.
The weird part came when they told me there was an offer on if you bought multiple items, so I decided to get the same trousers in a different colour. In the second colour of otherwise *identical* trousers I had to go up yet another size to find some that fit me!
How can the same manufacturer make trousers the exact same size in different colours with different size labels on them? The shop assistants were quite nonchalant about it, so it clearly happens a lot!
As an aside, I was quite pleased with myself that I managed to conduct the whole fiasco in French, including telling the woman at the checkout that I needed to change into a pair now (so she could remove the tags and so I could go back in the fitting room). Although, I'm pretty sure that I told her that my trousers weren't "functioning"! 😆
I'm naturally quite a slim build, but I still generally struggle to find clothes that fit properly because I still don't fit society's ridiculous standards: I'm the "right" size, but not curvy and have small boobs. Especially with dresses, I often find that I have to get the top part taken in so that the garment fits elsewhere without exposing my breasts to everyone...
I'd love to meet this mystical person who actually fits properly into clothes without alterations and don't even get me started on shoes!
The whole palaver of playing guess the size and trying on half the shop to find nothing fits right, just puts me off shopping at all unless I really need something as I hate shopping at the best of times. So ultimately the fashion industry is losing sales from people like me who give up and admit defeat without actually buying anything.
First problem with fat fashion is that people need to understand being fat is not ugly or a bad thing. Of course a lot of people will come at you and say "being fat is bad for your health blabla" yeah, so is being too skinny, but there's the "beautiful unhealthy" stigma. Like when someone is pretty and mentally ill, they're valid, but if depression or something like that makes you gain weight, you're just a lazy bum who needs no sympathy. Once people get that out of the way, medium sized people won't feel the need to say they're fat as a self-deprecating "joke" to get sympathy or as a form of self-harm. Fashion feeds on the idea that fat is ugly, unhealthy and everyone should always aim for losing weight, even if they don't even medically need to and even if their weight is actually smaller than it should be.
Besides, some people have a completely healthy BMI and are still "plus size" for some reason, what's up with that? I know BMI is a bit relative, but honestly, wtf?
Besides why is "plus size" even a thing honestly? Who the heck gets to decide "this is regular and this is plus size"?