There's one thing to think you are on the right path, it's another to think that yours is the only path~Paulo Coelho One thing I've learnt in life is that you live it how you love it, follow your intuition and passion as long as it doesn't infringe on others. You can learn from others but take their advice with a pinch of salt. After all in the face of death nothing matters except how you lived for yourself. POV: interesting conversation and she's funny.😅
It's like we are creating a society where we are normalising pain and disrespect in the name of love or in the name of "I'm not the only one going through this".We are forgetting who we are to please other people.
@@amazingmimi6682 valuing who we are,asking ourselves important questions like who are we do this life for? I think when we figure it out with self,we can be able to make decisions with others.
The bar is not low. It’s in hell. We should collectively heal so that we don’t normalize mediocrity. She’s on survival mode. African women, it’s ok to have high standards. To be soft. Spoiled. Appreciated. Loved. Don’t settle! Love and light.
To each it’s own buh i refuse to normalize cheating ol in the name of “men are polygamous in nature”Nothing and absolutely nothing justifies cheating,sugar coat it all you want buh it remains to be a personal choice. Kama hio ndio mapenzi lemmie remain single abegg!!
I don't need to keep a cow to have milk, I can get milk from the shop I can't be with a polygamous man, I saw this destroying many families in my village and people involving in witchcraft
@@gichuhiianjohnboro7929 This is a nonsensical response. Of course they are looking for the best candidate. We are talking about intimate relationships.
This is a very mature conversation that only a few can have, for people with open and independent mind. Hope our community can grow to respect others opinions without insults or degrading others for their thoughts
The next generation will be polygamous. Even your son and grandson. The bible says, there is nothing new under the sun, what was there will come back. Look at what is happening in our universities. Boys are having kids at 19, 20, 21, 22, 23,24 and they are not yet married. One wife affair ended will end with those born in 1980s. The rest will be polygamous like no man's business.
It's in the DNA already. And the thing is, no one is talking to the boy child, since from time memorial, it has been girl child only talked to. And everything we know about the man we get it from a woman but we never ask from a man himself.
She is not the only one. Most people have gone through that. If it has not happened to you, then lucky you. There are a few virgins in this world that meet and get married. Most people pass from one relationship to another before settling in one and even the one you settle on is not the best but you choose to stay.
This lady is too wise, the hate on this comment section is irrational, unjustified and seen from a single minded view. Every bit of what she says is the reality of men and women.
She had to normalise it so she doesn’t loose her mind but her error is thinking the rest of us have gone through what she has or would respond how she did to even think about her ideologies . How you choose to live is a choice and she has made hers . But I admire Lyn and how she does not emotionally react despite her feelings on this issue
She has made her choice of living with a man who doesn't appreciate her, and that man damaged her. Lynn you are a great interviewer. You listen, even if you don't agree.
Women are suffering in the name of Love instead of enjoying, the problem is trying to change a person from what he/she is to what you want him/her to be
Such an interesting discussion.... Loving it. Every relationship works differently from individual to individual. And being polygamous or acceptingly polygamy is a CHOICE
I think this is a bad teaching to our younger generation to come...if a man is not satisfied with me as his only partner and be faithful, I will comfortably leave him and allow him go get his happiness out there But nooo...I can't settle for less
@@sharonayere9010 yes it's happening and the facts that it's happening doesn't justify it,so assuming ppl start killing each other so should we embrace murder because everyone is a killer?? ,,,,,,A wrong will always be a wrong even if everyone does it and a right will always be a right even if no one does it.
Even In African society A man got a second wife after consulting his first,this one of men cheating impregnating another woman and forcing you to accept her is just disrespectful.As she said Marriage is never that serious.As a woman if you can’t accept it Nothing is wrong with you,Divorce is an option.If you can accept it and truly forgive that man ,more power to you.But making excuses for a man who has disrespected you is a NO!
Why should an African woman embrace pain,why should an African woman tolerate disrespect ,at this era why should we embrace male chauvinism,we should eradicate ourselves from bush mentality,how can you live at peace knowing your man that maybe you sacrificed your virginity for is eating from another honey comb ,women let's refuse maltreatment,such treatments triggers depression and also violence ,if he is not doing what's required walk out ,refuse to be mistreated in the name of 'African men' ,if there was something critical about African men it would be announced publicly ,a man is a man and it's a disgrace to embrace that we should lower our invested feelings to accommodate what an African man wants no matter how it's affecting us , African men respects there mothers very much so it's an irony to say that they disrespect there wives ,a woman is a woman,out of a woman a man is born ,so if u can respect your mom why not your wife? Please let's not embrace pain ,l beg to differ with the argument from our guest of today .
You are very misled, not every man wants to have more than a wife and not every woman wants to be an option..but cz you are a Luo, that's why you are so comfortable typing such a comment
He would probably kill her. I mean you'd think if it was natural men wouldn't have a problem with other men because nature within themselves would say it's normal. Their jealousy says otherwise.
Am also thinking the same, would the men agree to this? Definately not, I wonder why the society always justifies this men. Is it that their flesh is different from our own ama where is the problem?
Great topic Lynn, this topic makes me wonder does men ever try to accommodate our needs as much as we do. But anyway this is great topic indeed and it provoke more thinking. I think as a society we need to teach our men to be leaders not rulers. Love you Lynn 😍💯
I would rather be on my own that accept some of these standards. If it’s not just two I’ll be out there being with whoever I want . I want companionship and love or nothing.
And finally when she said her mother was killed in marriage, then it resonates with me. We learn then, that, emotional pain is a silent killer and adultery is emotional abuse. It doesn't matter how much we laugh about this topic. It's good to laugh but women are silently dying in marriage where they nurture too much and aren't nurtured back.
We also have to remember, its not always that a woman feel the need to compete...there are grown men who lack vision in life, who forget that they are the man of the house, they are the head, they are supposed to lead. Now as much as majority of women want that ka -soft life, once you find yourself in a situation where the person you call husband/partner doesn't provide the so called "leadership" or direction...and you don't even see where you will be 3-5 years to come...the masculinity side of a woman take charge. So its not all the time that a woman compete.... Sometimes she simply take charge to rescue the situation.
I am too jealous to agree that polygamy is okay but one thing I agree with her is don't make your spouse your everything to a point you forget yourself.
She makes alot of sense but unfortunately we ain't ready for this conversation. We are too 'regious' when it comes to marriage yet so much rot is happening
I don't have a religious bone in my body and I have a problem with this narrative. We should not normalize this.This is abuse. If the parties are consenting to polygamy/polyamory...thats fine. But what she is talking about is abuse of trust.
Alot of sense right there. Much love dear. Emotional stress is the biggest killer for most women. I hear women reacting that we are giving men power, others are saying that they can't accept such. Most of the people who don't want to accept, such has happened but they are in denial. You want to paint a picture of Mr and Mrs perfect. The truth is this things happen but it's your choice to stay or walk away but don't pretend that they don't happen.
Lynn somemen are just impossible, unteachable/untameable period. Your guest has a point, you get a side friend not necessarily to jump to bed with but someone you can talk to and listen to you. He doesn't have to offer you money and the promise the whole world BUT just gives his free time of just one or two hours to just listen,talk,smile and laugh and that gives you all the pleasure you lack from your "hubby".
I don't believe in this whoel"side friend" nonsense. Let's just be real, that side friend can only be a friend for some time. There is a very high chance you'll end up having sex. So let's not pretend and call it "side friend" call a spade a spade. That's your "side dish"
Can I just say Lynne's show is full of lesson and also therapy, we are blessed to have you Lynn ,, I think the government should give you a special job you are a blessing girl 💗
I'd never thought of being with a polygamous man neither can I even come into terms with it."African men are polygamous in nature"it's just a notion that people can still choose to evade it as early as now ,life is short and you'll never realised how short it is untill you find yourself struggling with something that you could have choose not to indulge in killing you.....BE WISE don't do it because other people are doing it ,CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY
Wow this is one of the most honest conversation I've ever heard & that has left me thinking alot. Life is about making choices , just choose what you want .
I have to comment even before I listen to this story because there is no way I can accept to be a second wife or to be brought a co wife in the name of all men cheat, there are men out there who know love and marriage is for two, and if it is then a must in our Africa then I better adopt children and stay like that without marriage,,,,,i can not share what i love 🙏😂
What she's saying is what's really happening currently cheating is too high even in married women. It's only that those of us who ain't married yet ain't going to be with a man who will cheat on us in marriage we'd rather die single.
Imagine with these tough economic times we are living in some men can not even be able to properly fend for their one wife and kids what of introducing more wives. This means some people will be stuck in poverty cycle for generations.
When you believe people like these you can either hate marriage,or settle for anything because you fear of being alone.There has to be some real African Men who would not want to complicate things for their wife and children.
I think that man she was with damaged her sooo much that she normalized toxicity. Clearly as she said that man wasn't meant for her, she should have married someone else. However after leaving that man, she seemed to have learned alot. Let me just leave it there
Interesting conversation.We need to face it heads on. Nothing is too serious btw.there is so much to life.We brace ourselves with such openness. We often overlook important things, marrying our best friends,not getting into a military camp.
One of the best topics on your show Lynn❤❤ I've totally enjoyed watching. Felly is my childhood friend and we grew up together in the same neighbourhood. So true about her mum. We were always in their house because her mum welcomed us and made us feel at home. I'm so proud of you Felgon, and I definitely need a copy of your book
Good morning team LNN❤️ Do you agree with Felly that African men are polygamous and promiscuous in nature and its ok to have an affair? You can reach her on fellyoyuga@gmail.com Thank you so much for watching❤️
African men are not polygamy in nature....noo infact lynn they are learning how to be faithful to their wives....they are tired of this cancer of polygamy from there forefathers ....I blv we are in a different generation...let's make a change for the sake of our generation in a Godly way be blessed Lynn
In this day and age? With the increase in STDs na lack of accountability? Dear women, protect your heart, body and mind. You are your own responsibility.
My uncle who had 2 wives died last year from covid complications. You can't imagine the drama that ensued between the two wives and their kids due to wealth distribution because my uncle had not left any will. This is just but a few cases of implications of polygamy am really angered by what this woman is advocating.
I'm sorry for your family's loss. Sudden deaths can be so difficult. However, I would consider that even with one wife, you're still going to see the same exact thing, unless the affairs are already in order. Siblings and their spouses will all try to take possession of lands and assets, regardless of the number of wives. Men need to have a will in order EARLY to prevent such problems.
@@BrowncoatBlue Another thing African men need to discuss these things with their wives and weiring wills needs to be normalised. It's like a taboo in Aftican culture and someone dies and some wealth even gets lost, unclaimed because nobody knew.I feel.like parents need to do better to secure the families futures incase something happens and protect their legacy.
This is why men should embrace drawing up wills.... don't blame the lady for something he should have done especially due to the fact that he had more than one family
If you don't know ur worth u accept every nonsense that comes ur way all in the name of marriage... Iam sorry this isn't me and I will never ever settle for less... Never
one man for one wife,,that"s final,,,the Bible has taught us enough morals to be faithful not only to our husbands and wives but to our most high God. we are human beings with feelings and expectations but God is faithful to give us self control. Ask God for a discerning spirit because the world is wicked and anyone can say anything, follow the word till the end of times because God can never be wrong. Have witnessed great couples who have involved God in their marriages and have lasted for years and are still happy
This lady is talking the truth. I used to work in a restaurant that had guest room and i can tell you lunch time all rooms were full. And most of this men had wives at home.
And their wives think that their husbands are very faithfull kumbe they sleep around with different women out there. When some people say men are polygamous in nature they know what they talk about.
Weuehhhh!!! Weuehhhh!!! Weuehhhh!!! These sons of Judas Iscariote will show you flames 🔥🔥🔥🔥 I'd choose my peace of mind,body and soul over a person whose not willing to be true to me. If he decides to cheat he better pray I don't know about it coz once I do hivyo ndio nimeondokea most men love themselves and are selfish they don't think of the consequences of their actions until they're old and can't do shit. What's the point of marrying someone's daughter if you're not capable of doing right by her? Stay single for the rest of your life it's a personal choice don't get others involved in your cat and mouse games 🙄🙄🙄 no wonder women prefer to stay single these days than go through emotional trauma.
First wives mostly suffer after the second wife comes in and this includes their children. Men cannot love two women the same way and generally I believe most second wives come to destroy the first family. I'd not stay in a polygamous marriage
This lady is spitting facts! Whether we like it or not these things are happening alot, in some cultures having multiple wives is completely normal, its a choice really, do what makes you happy🙂....And ladies being a second wife does not make you any less of a woman!
We must first accept that there are men who value themselves and there wives that they can't have other affairs outside their marriages. There are still faithful men.If you love yourself enough, you can't allow your self to stoop low in order to acknowledge the other person's immorality. This lady needs to work on her self esteem. I find it abnormal to normalise polygamy. Leave alone the consequences that comes with it. God intended that 1 man to have 1 woman
It's such a wonderful conversation from such a young lady,I love the way she outline her points, it's a choice of what you want to do especially in the marriage life.
I loved and enjoyed every bit of this episode, I am a young lady and having grown without female confidante I've had to experience everything first hand good and bad. I'd really love to here more from this lady, this was amazing, informative and educating. This was truly a wonderful episode, I feel overwhelmed.
To each his own, African men are not polygamous by nature some of you just have no standards and expectations. And for most part there are no consequences for their actions. You fail to hold them accountable, coddle them. Not my cup of tea, but to to each his own. In this day and age you can find men from other countries/ cultures who believe in monogamy and will put you first, sio lazima you settle.
Thank you sweet heart!!!! This is a word and a half! Pia Mimi nilikataa kusettle and got a white man who doesn't even engage in such useless talk. We have better options, we just have to love ourselves to a point we can't accept disrespect and open our options in men.
Felly is a young woman who suffered and has been betrayed in her marriage. I feel for her. We only talk like this as women when we are bitter, revengeful, hurt and have lost hope and purpose in this life. She needs help to heal from her wounds by finding God and counselling. We can not generalize and make blanket statements like this. Not all African men are polygamous and promiscuous. There are many happy African Christian monogamous marriages and couples have lived together happily for 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years and more, how does she explain this?
The maturity of this woman is another lever. Its not only about The Afrikan man. Woman if you are open to this you can keep any man you love.. I love it. If any woman Has ear Hear thisss..... 🥳🥳
Really enjoyed this show. Some might deem her views controversial. She is speaking the unspoken. Can’t wait to hear what she has to say in the upcoming shows. It’s time women, we opened up our eyes. Also am not for male bashing . These men are our Friends brother’s , cousins . Let us work towards healthy marriages and relationships. Btw marriage is not for everyone. We ought to stop pressuring women to get married and have children. Single women are not pressuring married women to leave their husbands or children. Do what works for you. Marriage is serious work with no time off . Even Michelle Obama said it’s not a walk in the park. Young people listen marry your friend . Glad I waited later to get married . It didn’t matter to me if I was ever married or not . That is my take .
Something that really bothers me nowadays is how people use stories of fallen pastors to define Christianity. If a pastor has their sins, that does not change the person who is Christ. It does not define who God is and does not change His character or moral authority. God is God regardless s let us stop this temptation of reducing God to people who fall whether pastors, apostles etc. Christ is so much more. Christianity is deep and the foundation on which it is founded on Christ is rooted in LOVE and the standard still remains to be the scripture...even if everyone is doing the wrong thing,it does not make it right. God is the author of Marriage.For a successful and beautiful marriage always involve the author
This is the exact same sentiments I had when she mentioned about fallen pastors. I cannot agree with you more! Spot on! Don’t let people misrepresentation of Christ take away from who Christ is. Marriage is God’s institution , To experience true happiness, you must consult with with the Author, otherwise it’s either a hit or miss.
I feel like an African culture history book would be a good gift because as far as African history is concerned,she's blank. People tend to think that their story is everyone's story for some reasons. She was in u fortunate marriage that messed up with her reasoning
Marry a man that has been delivered from tribe, traditions and as a lady be delivered from the arms of the society and only then you will have one wife one husband. Because when set free and become as first Adam and eve in garden of Eden before sin came in.
The topic and discussion was awesome, she has talked of facts and reality of what is happening daily, we need to accept and have conversation about it there's more to life than marriage. As she said in old days people were assessed if they could manage a second or even a first wife before marriage which was a good thing to avoid bringing up kids with uncertain future. Thanks Lynn and crew for this new discussion.
7:42 You're right, we're Africans. Sometimes we think that what has been painted in western media (books, TV/movies) e.g flowers, chocolate, fancy restaurants is what should be the universal ways of expressing ourselves romantically. Bora 2 people are being thoughtful about each other, doing something that comes from the heart, that counts as romantic. Bora uhai, Lynn.
My favorite part is Go and have an affair. It's true. Main thing is commitment with Love but emotional, passion etc tafuteni mbali coz after some years flames huisha kwa marriage.
This is amazing, agreeing to disagreement as life goes on ,I think it will make life soft or easier for someone and don't forget about yourself keep building up yourself without fighting anyone
i agree with her @lynn Ngugi, when a man has one wife n Hes loyal means he has sacrificed his self to that woman, but the truth of the matter is a man can love for women at the sometime
My grandmother was a second wife, to me it looked nothing out of norm. My grandmother took care of her co wife when she got sick. We have a good relationship with my half cousins from my shosho mukuru.
Hmmmmmmmm if you are in marriage and the man wants to marry someone else I will leave the marriage because he no longer loves the first wife, live a life with my children and have fun
Women can have friendships, npt affairs. If a man faals out of love, lady, let him move on...dont accept emotional abuse. Living in tht house while hurting doesnt make sense. Don't compromise your happiness
This is an episode that I've enjoyed to watch. Truth be told,African men are polygamous. I refuse to subscribe to that script but when we look around,so many men who seem to be in happy marriages are the ones cheating out here. I also agree with her that in the western culture,they want to preach the philosophy of one man one woman but they have a high divorce rate. Oh let's not forget that women do cheat as well. Research has shown that some married women do cheat. I like that she said that it's not about the other partner,when the cheater decides to step out. Now let me go read her book because I can resonate alot with everything she has said. Good stuff LNN 👏
God at the very beginning set His standards for marriage, there is no where the word of God said that men are naturally polygamous, He did not set up standards that are not achievable to men,our God is so loving... and why is that this it's only men who've got the the leeway to go out and have more partners?(this I view as high level of selfishness.) I struggle to understand why the woman should be the one to persevere the pain of a man bringing another woman coz apparently the man is 'permitted' to be polygamous( as in do you see the level of selfishness in all this?) The truth is we are trying to excuse men who have refused to exercise self-control and just want to fulfill their lustful needs. Women are not lesser beings God loves us all equally, therefore as a woman set your standards right and make your expectations clear in your relationship. Marriage does not define you at the end of the day,God called you to fullfill your destiny and if your spouse is not supporting you in that, but breaking you and hurting you, you will not get to where God needs you to be. The truth also is that there are many African monogamous marriages that are thriving by the grace of God, but we do not want to accept it because of our own experiences that have formed very strong opinions of how view life.
I appreciate the soberness with which she brings this topic and I also agree with her on some of these things. I still choose to choose myself over any situation though - regardless of what society or religion says on the matter.
It's so sickening when people say, African men blah blah blah...when God was creating Man there's no place he mentioned different characteristics of men depending on their race...So people (African women) should stop tolerating/making excuses for Africa men's disrespect and irresponsible behaviours..🤮🤦🤦
Wueh,this topic is 🔥🔥.but true there are things that need to be discussed. Someone once told me,in African society there's nothing like weddings n altar oaths😳,so a man can even take any woman
It's only in Africa,where women get endless advises about marriages,it's like marriage is about women doing everything,even if it means hurting their feelings just to please men.
There's one thing to think you are on the right path, it's another to think that yours is the only path~Paulo Coelho
One thing I've learnt in life is that you live it how you love it, follow your intuition and passion as long as it doesn't infringe on others. You can learn from others but take their advice with a pinch of salt. After all in the face of death nothing matters except how you lived for yourself.
POV: interesting conversation and she's funny.😅
Exactly. We're all going 6+ feet under, as we've been doing for millions of years
I can relate to the leadership and friend concept. It feels really good to be yourself without fearing that you are gonna be judged.
Very timely conversation 🤠
It's like we are creating a society where we are normalising pain and disrespect in the name of love or in the name of "I'm not the only one going through this".We are forgetting who we are to please other people.
💯
Wanjiku..u can say it again...nakupenda bure
Either way the question is how do we make it work
@@Bogohoney 😘
@@amazingmimi6682 valuing who we are,asking ourselves important questions like who are we do this life for? I think when we figure it out with self,we can be able to make decisions with others.
The bar is not low. It’s in hell.
We should collectively heal so that we don’t normalize mediocrity. She’s on survival mode.
African women, it’s ok to have high standards. To be soft. Spoiled. Appreciated. Loved.
Don’t settle! Love and light.
We are Christian cause we were colonized by christians but if we were colonized by Islam we would be islam and polygamous!!
Beautiful
A man who fears God can’t live like this, take it from a man!
You are right
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom 🙏.
This is true👍
Correction: A colonized man can't live like this.
@@ncedisakhewu Correction, There are many colonized people who practice polygamy, this is beyond your carnal mind!
To each it’s own buh i refuse to normalize cheating ol in the name of “men are polygamous in nature”Nothing and absolutely nothing justifies cheating,sugar coat it all you want buh it remains to be a personal choice.
Kama hio ndio mapenzi lemmie remain single abegg!!
Just normalize homosexuality because its un african
I agree with you
I'm with you on this... it sounds like such a mechanical life
Not all African men cheat on their wives, let's be realistic, there are great and faithful men too, it's not normal to cheat whatever the reason.
Acha uchoyo..u don't own anyone..u are cared..u are loved...u will move around like matatu..the life is not greater the othe side...
I'm ready to divorce a 100 times than be an environment where I'll be an option
I don't need to keep a cow to have milk, I can get milk from the shop I can't be with a polygamous man, I saw this destroying many families in my village and people involving in witchcraft
Asante.
You've just spoken my mind.
U are always an option here on earth. That's why u have to go for interviews to secure a job
@@gichuhiianjohnboro7929 This is a nonsensical response. Of course they are looking for the best candidate. We are talking about intimate relationships.
We have to stop normalize this toxic issue
No to me and always
Then it's for you. Do what's yours.
😄 Lynn, this is a conversation for open minded & not the feint hearted people. Loved, loved it.
You are right!
This is a very mature conversation that only a few can have, for people with open and independent mind. Hope our community can grow to respect others opinions without insults or degrading others for their thoughts
It’s good to be open minded,Buh don’t open the mind to a point where the brain falls out,there should be a minimum..
@@wacekewanjoroge6679 💯
Add the volume please! My exact sentiments.
Though it’s the reality
Very true if we really listen to what she's saying she's on to something.
And our boy child Grows up looking at mum accepting this and thinking it’s okay. This is how a cycle continues. It’s wrong.
The next generation will be polygamous. Even your son and grandson. The bible says, there is nothing new under the sun, what was there will come back. Look at what is happening in our universities. Boys are having kids at 19, 20, 21, 22, 23,24 and they are not yet married. One wife affair ended will end with those born in 1980s. The rest will be polygamous like no man's business.
And women watching their mums, thinking it’s okay too. So messed up
I second you, that absolutely wrong
It's in the DNA already. And the thing is, no one is talking to the boy child, since from time memorial, it has been girl child only talked to. And everything we know about the man we get it from a woman but we never ask from a man himself.
Our title should have been "How I stayed in a lousy marriage" So sorry girl. That guy messed up with your pysche.
Word💯
Truth !!!
My sentiments exactly.... What is this???
She is not the only one. Most people have gone through that. If it has not happened to you, then lucky you. There are a few virgins in this world that meet and get married. Most people pass from one relationship to another before settling in one and even the one you settle on is not the best but you choose to stay.
This lady is too wise, the hate on this comment section is irrational, unjustified and seen from a single minded view. Every bit of what she says is the reality of men and women.
Hoping you can allow your wife to be polyandrous or can your future daughter go through the same
Of course, you're a man.
Here we go with another advice for women 🙄, no advice for the man🤦♂️...why is the woman the one to always compromise????
Welcome to Africa. Women are the only ones who always have to better themselves for men. Never the other way.
Thank you. I want to see successfully polygamous men, talking to other men on how to build a successful polygamous marriage.
I knoow,men are let off easily,women have to bear with the consequences.sad scenes
We have never been equal
Only in Africa where men are given a FREE PASS!!
She had to normalise it so she doesn’t loose her mind but her error is thinking the rest of us have gone through what she has or would respond how she did to even think about her ideologies . How you choose to live is a choice and she has made hers . But I admire Lyn and how she does not emotionally react despite her feelings on this issue
I like how Lynn handles her interviews, very diplomatic.
She has made her choice of living with a man who doesn't appreciate her, and that man damaged her.
Lynn you are a great interviewer. You listen, even if you don't agree.
How do you know Lyn’s feeling?
@@joynyambura9715 they're no longer together
Because unless we hear each other out, how can we be a community. My feelings don't matter as much as what I can bring to you, my viewers
Women are suffering in the name of Love instead of enjoying, the problem is trying to change a person from what he/she is to what you want him/her to be
One wife one husband case closed
Period!
Kaput
Exactly
Chapwa 🙌
It's only one rib was taken out of a man not ribs
Such an interesting discussion.... Loving it.
Every relationship works differently from individual to individual. And being polygamous or acceptingly polygamy is a CHOICE
I love it when we just hear each other out. That is the whole idea of my channel
Girlfriend spitting hard painful to swallow facts 🤣🤣🤣🤣 it's her cup of tea and am here for it
True
I think this is a bad teaching to our younger generation to come...if a man is not satisfied with me as his only partner and be faithful, I will comfortably leave him and allow him go get his happiness out there
But nooo...I can't settle for less
In a relationship, do what suits you. Polygamy or promiscuity I don't tolerate any. My take is, if you are not comfortable with the thing, kanyaga
Just from the title alone this can never be me! We need to change this narrative and stop normalizing infidelity in marriage.
Amen
Amen
But it's happening every where. If it has never happened to you then you are lucky.
@@sharonayere9010 yes it's happening and the facts that it's happening doesn't justify it,so assuming ppl start killing each other so should we embrace murder because everyone is a killer?? ,,,,,,A wrong will always be a wrong even if everyone does it and a right will always be a right even if no one does it.
More secret sidechicks
Even In African society A man got a second wife after consulting his first,this one of men cheating impregnating another woman and forcing you to accept her is just disrespectful.As she said Marriage is never that serious.As a woman if you can’t accept it Nothing is wrong with you,Divorce is an option.If you can accept it and truly forgive that man ,more power to you.But making excuses for a man who has disrespected you is a NO!
This 💯 well said👏🏽
This right here is everything....❤️❤️❤️
✔
THANK YOU DARLING
I needed to read this...
I loved the conversation. We don’t have to agree but having an open conversation is key
100%
This lady is real. She is speaking the truth which needs to be told to every African woman
Why should an African woman embrace pain,why should an African woman tolerate disrespect ,at this era why should we embrace male chauvinism,we should eradicate ourselves from bush mentality,how can you live at peace knowing your man that maybe you sacrificed your virginity for is eating from another honey comb ,women let's refuse maltreatment,such treatments triggers depression and also violence ,if he is not doing what's required walk out ,refuse to be mistreated in the name of 'African men' ,if there was something critical about African men it would be announced publicly ,a man is a man and it's a disgrace to embrace that we should lower our invested feelings to accommodate what an African man wants no matter how it's affecting us , African men respects there mothers very much so it's an irony to say that they disrespect there wives ,a woman is a woman,out of a woman a man is born ,so if u can respect your mom why not your wife? Please let's not embrace pain ,l beg to differ with the argument from our guest of today .
You are very misled, not every man wants to have more than a wife and not every woman wants to be an option..but cz you are a Luo, that's why you are so comfortable typing such a comment
Am trying to think what if a woman introduces another man to his husband and tell him she's willing to have 2 husbands??
He would probably kill her. I mean you'd think if it was natural men wouldn't have a problem with other men because nature within themselves would say it's normal. Their jealousy says otherwise.
Heeeeewwoo vayolence 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Am also thinking the same, would the men agree to this? Definately not, I wonder why the society always justifies this men. Is it that their flesh is different from our own ama where is the problem?
Thats so hilarious!
Exactly my taught 🤣🤣 African women we endure too much nonsense 🙄 in relationships
Great topic Lynn, this topic makes me wonder does men ever try to accommodate our needs as much as we do. But anyway this is great topic indeed and it provoke more thinking. I think as a society we need to teach our men to be leaders not rulers. Love you Lynn 😍💯
I would rather be on my own that accept some of these standards. If it’s not just two I’ll be out there being with whoever I want . I want companionship and love or nothing.
Kudos it’s to know your worthy.
But isn't there beauty in knowing how different we all are
It is good to know what you want. Hold to it and don’t accept anything less. Many people are still confused.
And finally when she said her mother was killed in marriage, then it resonates with me. We learn then, that, emotional pain is a silent killer and adultery is emotional abuse. It doesn't matter how much we laugh about this topic. It's good to laugh but women are silently dying in marriage where they nurture too much and aren't nurtured back.
True. What happened to self love?
Cheating/polygamy is a choice. We have very good men who stick to one wife.
Only broke men are loyal.....this is world wide
@@joynyambura9715 she says the man might not necessarily be bad, but rough or not gentle and there's no way you can teach a grown up.
We also have to remember, its not always that a woman feel the need to compete...there are grown men who lack vision in life, who forget that they are the man of the house, they are the head, they are supposed to lead. Now as much as majority of women want that ka -soft life, once you find yourself in a situation where the person you call husband/partner doesn't provide the so called "leadership" or direction...and you don't even see where you will be 3-5 years to come...the masculinity side of a woman take charge. So its not all the time that a woman compete.... Sometimes she simply take charge to rescue the situation.
I am too jealous to agree that polygamy is okay but one thing I agree with her is don't make your spouse your everything to a point you forget yourself.
She makes alot of sense but unfortunately we ain't ready for this conversation. We are too 'regious' when it comes to marriage yet so much rot is happening
Word!
I don't have a religious bone in my body and I have a problem with this narrative. We should not normalize this.This is abuse. If the parties are consenting to polygamy/polyamory...thats fine. But what she is talking about is abuse of trust.
Yes
Doesn't make the rot right; unless we've lost our consciences too.
I agree
Alot of sense right there. Much love dear. Emotional stress is the biggest killer for most women. I hear women reacting that we are giving men power, others are saying that they can't accept such. Most of the people who don't want to accept, such has happened but they are in denial. You want to paint a picture of Mr and Mrs perfect. The truth is this things happen but it's your choice to stay or walk away but don't pretend that they don't happen.
Lynn somemen are just impossible, unteachable/untameable period. Your guest has a point, you get a side friend not necessarily to jump to bed with but someone you can talk to and listen to you. He doesn't have to offer you money and the promise the whole world BUT just gives his free time of just one or two hours to just listen,talk,smile and laugh and that gives you all the pleasure you lack from your "hubby".
I don't believe in this whoel"side friend" nonsense. Let's just be real, that side friend can only be a friend for some time. There is a very high chance you'll end up having sex. So let's not pretend and call it "side friend" call a spade a spade. That's your "side dish"
That's how all trouble begins. A side friend who is probably married, next you are hugging in bed. It always ALWAYS ends with pain
@@vickyk8595 😂😂😂😂don't spoil the soup.. she wants to dance with the devil. Let her
You are right Margaret. 100%
Can I just say Lynne's show is full of lesson and also therapy, we are blessed to have you Lynn ,, I think the government should give you a special job you are a blessing girl 💗
She already has her show/network, so the goverment can just support her vision as we support her as well.
@@carolwafula5940 o
Uw, thank u so much
These are conversations we need. She's making alot reality senses
Indeed i loved it. She made lot of sense nice interview
Are you sure?
@@harietmeshack3668 very sure. The problem is that most of us have unrealistic overview of life that we need to take responsibility over
@@MaryTravelsandLifestyle Absolutely
Thanks Lynn, I love this lady and I am going to read her book. She is real and humble for that's my take away from this show! God bless u 🙏
I'd never thought of being with a polygamous man neither can I even come into terms with it."African men are polygamous in nature"it's just a notion that people can still choose to evade it as early as now ,life is short and you'll never realised how short it is untill you find yourself struggling with something that you could have choose not to indulge in killing you.....BE WISE don't do it because other people are doing it ,CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY
💯
Finally somebody has defined the real meaning of SOFT LIFE
Wow this is one of the most honest conversation I've ever heard & that has left me thinking alot. Life is about making choices , just choose what you want .
No man can love two women at the same time😊everyone do what works for them😄innit
Men don't love for your information very few love if it's for love then many will be single
A woman talk about Men hearts😅😅...u don't know men..
I love the way this lady is open about her opinions.
She knows that this is a safe space to talk!
All I know is I would rather be alone....I can never accept another wife
I have to comment even before I listen to this story because there is no way I can accept to be a second wife or to be brought a co wife in the name of all men cheat, there are men out there who know love and marriage is for two, and if it is then a must in our Africa then I better adopt children and stay like that without marriage,,,,,i can not share what i love 🙏😂
You and me both 😂
Amen sister.
Period!.
Amen shout it .....I still blv there is real,responsible, God fearing men in our nation...I'll wait on God than be a second wife thing
Me too nowadays pple are justifying sins nkt iwould rather be alone than be acowife or share ahusband nkttest
What she's saying is what's really happening currently cheating is too high even in married women. It's only that those of us who ain't married yet ain't going to be with a man who will cheat on us in marriage we'd rather die single.
Let The Church say Amen,,,
Not all Afrikan men. My grandfather married my grandmother as the only wife for 65 good yrs untill he passt. I think it's a personal choice.
Imagine with these tough economic times we are living in some men can not even be able to properly fend for their one wife and kids what of introducing more wives. This means some people will be stuck in poverty cycle for generations.
My situation right now, mpaka vile natamami mtoi mwingine my hubby akiskia hivyo anaskia kutokwa na wazimu
@@beatynjeri5616 So sorry mummy
Weeeeh ... I refuse to be an option! If he goes to cheat ...let him go forever!
No self esteem. Afadhali nikae single najipenda sana mambo zingine siwezani.
When you believe people like these you can either hate marriage,or settle for anything because you fear of being alone.There has to be some real African Men who would not want to complicate things for their wife and children.
That last sentiment I think you know me
I think that man she was with damaged her sooo much that she normalized toxicity. Clearly as she said that man wasn't meant for her, she should have married someone else. However after leaving that man, she seemed to have learned alot. Let me just leave it there
Interesting conversation.We need to face it heads on.
Nothing is too serious btw.there is so much to life.We brace ourselves with such openness.
We often overlook important things, marrying our best friends,not getting into a military camp.
I think I'm too negative to even watch this story, having seen what my grandma ( a first wife of two) went through in a polygamous home.
True I also saw it in my uncle who had 2 wives the moment he suddenly passed away hell broke loose.
True I saw it to in my grandparents and uncles families
The story took a different dynamic..I loved it...very mature conversation
Same my grandmother was a 1st wife with 7 children, she went through hell, my grandpa was brought to her on his death bed,to hell with polygamy staki
How complicated was it for her?
One of the best topics on your show Lynn❤❤ I've totally enjoyed watching. Felly is my childhood friend and we grew up together in the same neighbourhood. So true about her mum. We were always in their house because her mum welcomed us and made us feel at home. I'm so proud of you Felgon, and I definitely need a copy of your book
Thank you so much! I honestly don't understand why it didn't get as much attention, I feel like there's more to it
I have loved the conversation. She is full of humour. There are buts on my side , I can't handle polygamy.
Good morning team LNN❤️
Do you agree with Felly that African men are polygamous and promiscuous in nature and its ok to have an affair?
You can reach her on fellyoyuga@gmail.com
Thank you so much for watching❤️
Yes I agree
Wueeh, kuishi kwingi kuona mengi
I am in total disagreement and again referring to the Bible it's never allowed
African men are not polygamy in nature....noo infact lynn they are learning how to be faithful to their wives....they are tired of this cancer of polygamy from there forefathers ....I blv we are in a different generation...let's make a change for the sake of our generation in a Godly way be blessed Lynn
In this day and age? With the increase in STDs na lack of accountability? Dear women, protect your heart, body and mind. You are your own responsibility.
My uncle who had 2 wives died last year from covid complications. You can't imagine the drama that ensued between the two wives and their kids due to wealth distribution because my uncle had not left any will. This is just but a few cases of implications of polygamy am really angered by what this woman is advocating.
You can say that again and again
I'm sorry for your family's loss. Sudden deaths can be so difficult. However, I would consider that even with one wife, you're still going to see the same exact thing, unless the affairs are already in order. Siblings and their spouses will all try to take possession of lands and assets, regardless of the number of wives. Men need to have a will in order EARLY to prevent such problems.
@@BrowncoatBlue Another thing African men need to discuss these things with their wives and weiring wills needs to be normalised. It's like a taboo in Aftican culture and someone dies and some wealth even gets lost, unclaimed because nobody knew.I feel.like parents need to do better to secure the families futures incase something happens and protect their legacy.
@@allbyhisgrace8925 I agree 💯%. Setting a will may be an uncomfortable process, but it is critical for maintaining family peace after a passing 🙏🏾
This is why men should embrace drawing up wills.... don't blame the lady for something he should have done especially due to the fact that he had more than one family
If you don't know ur worth u accept every nonsense that comes ur way all in the name of marriage... Iam sorry this isn't me and I will never ever settle for less... Never
one man for one wife,,that"s final,,,the Bible has taught us enough morals to be faithful not only to our husbands and wives but to our most high God. we are human beings with feelings and expectations but God is faithful to give us self control. Ask God for a discerning spirit because the world is wicked and anyone can say anything, follow the word till the end of times because God can never be wrong. Have witnessed great couples who have involved God in their marriages and have lasted for years and are still happy
The same Bible says no sex before marriage.... Were you married a virgin ma'am?
Let the panel come please Lynn I love the conversation because it's as made me really think and think again
This lady is talking the truth. I used to work in a restaurant that had guest room and i can tell you lunch time all rooms were full. And most of this men had wives at home.
And their wives think that their husbands are very faithfull kumbe they sleep around with different women out there. When some people say men are polygamous in nature they know what they talk about.
Weuehhhh!!! Weuehhhh!!! Weuehhhh!!! These sons of Judas Iscariote will show you flames 🔥🔥🔥🔥 I'd choose my peace of mind,body and soul over a person whose not willing to be true to me. If he decides to cheat he better pray I don't know about it coz once I do hivyo ndio nimeondokea most men love themselves and are selfish they don't think of the consequences of their actions until they're old and can't do shit. What's the point of marrying someone's daughter if you're not capable of doing right by her? Stay single for the rest of your life it's a personal choice don't get others involved in your cat and mouse games 🙄🙄🙄 no wonder women prefer to stay single these days than go through emotional trauma.
First wives mostly suffer after the second wife comes in and this includes their children. Men cannot love two women the same way and generally I believe most second wives come to destroy the first family. I'd not stay in a polygamous marriage
An educated African man in this age that is inclined towards polygamy does it merely out of choice other than predisposition.
Exactly...
This lady is spitting facts! Whether we like it or not these things are happening alot, in some cultures having multiple wives is completely normal, its a choice really, do what makes you happy🙂....And ladies being a second wife does not make you any less of a woman!
😮
Very true
We must first accept that there are men who value themselves and there wives that they can't have other affairs outside their marriages. There are still faithful men.If you love yourself enough, you can't allow your self to stoop low in order to acknowledge the other person's immorality.
This lady needs to work on her self esteem.
I find it abnormal to normalise polygamy. Leave alone the consequences that comes with it.
God intended that 1 man to have 1 woman
It's such a wonderful conversation from such a young lady,I love the way she outline her points, it's a choice of what you want to do especially in the marriage life.
I loved and enjoyed every bit of this episode, I am a young lady and having grown without female confidante I've had to experience everything first hand good and bad. I'd really love to here more from this lady, this was amazing, informative and educating. This was truly a wonderful episode, I feel overwhelmed.
To each his own, African men are not polygamous by nature some of you just have no standards and expectations. And for most part there are no consequences for their actions. You fail to hold them accountable, coddle them. Not my cup of tea, but to to each his own. In this day and age you can find men from other countries/ cultures who believe in monogamy and will put you first, sio lazima you settle.
Thank you sweet heart!!!! This is a word and a half! Pia Mimi nilikataa kusettle and got a white man who doesn't even engage in such useless talk. We have better options, we just have to love ourselves to a point we can't accept disrespect and open our options in men.
Felly is a young woman who suffered and has been betrayed in her marriage. I feel for her. We only talk like this as women when we are bitter, revengeful, hurt and have lost hope and purpose in this life. She needs help to heal from her wounds by finding God and counselling. We can not generalize and make blanket statements like this. Not all African men are polygamous and promiscuous. There are many happy African Christian monogamous marriages and couples have lived together happily for 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years and more, how does she explain this?
I would like to hear how she would explain that too.
The maturity of this woman is another lever. Its not only about The Afrikan man. Woman if you are open to this you can keep any man you love.. I love it. If any woman Has ear Hear thisss..... 🥳🥳
Really enjoyed this show. Some might deem her views controversial. She is speaking the unspoken. Can’t wait to hear what she has to say in the upcoming shows. It’s time women, we opened up our eyes. Also am not for male bashing . These men are our
Friends brother’s , cousins . Let us work towards healthy marriages and relationships. Btw marriage is not for everyone. We ought to stop pressuring women to get married and have children. Single women are not pressuring married women to leave their husbands or children. Do what works for you. Marriage is serious work with no time off . Even Michelle Obama said it’s not a walk in the park. Young people listen marry your friend . Glad I waited later to get married . It didn’t matter to me if I was ever married or not . That is my take .
Something that really bothers me nowadays is how people use stories of fallen pastors to define Christianity. If a pastor has their sins, that does not change the person who is Christ. It does not define who God is and does not change His character or moral authority. God is God regardless s let us stop this temptation of reducing God to people who fall whether pastors, apostles etc. Christ is so much more. Christianity is deep and the foundation on which it is founded on Christ is rooted in LOVE and the standard still remains to be the scripture...even if everyone is doing the wrong thing,it does not make it right.
God is the author of Marriage.For a successful and beautiful marriage always involve the author
This is the exact same sentiments I had when she mentioned about fallen pastors. I cannot agree with you more! Spot on! Don’t let people misrepresentation of Christ take away from who Christ is.
Marriage is God’s institution , To experience true happiness, you must consult with with the Author, otherwise it’s either a hit or miss.
@@rhodahwangari5351 Well said💯
I feel like an African culture history book would be a good gift because as far as African history is concerned,she's blank.
People tend to think that their story is everyone's story for some reasons.
She was in u fortunate marriage that messed up with her reasoning
Marry a man that has been delivered from tribe, traditions and as a lady be delivered from the arms of the society and only then you will have one wife one husband. Because when set free and become as first Adam and eve in garden of Eden before sin came in.
The topic and discussion was awesome, she has talked of facts and reality of what is happening daily, we need to accept and have conversation about it there's more to life than marriage. As she said in old days people were assessed if they could manage a second or even a first wife before marriage which was a good thing to avoid bringing up kids with uncertain future. Thanks Lynn and crew for this new discussion.
Many people might fail to understand her but Facts are always bitter. Asante
The Concept of Marriage from the beginning is One Wife one Husband not two,,, Male and Female.
As long as he can provide fully for me and the kids,he can marry even 40,the more the merrier
This is teaching women to accept disrespect in the name of marriage. You cheat on me, I'm out of the door. I'd rather be alone with my God
7:42 You're right, we're Africans. Sometimes we think that what has been painted in western media (books, TV/movies) e.g flowers, chocolate, fancy restaurants is what should be the universal ways of expressing ourselves romantically. Bora 2 people are being thoughtful about each other, doing something that comes from the heart, that counts as romantic. Bora uhai, Lynn.
We need her again women who die in marriage
My favorite part is Go and have an affair. It's true. Main thing is commitment with Love but emotional, passion etc tafuteni mbali coz after some years flames huisha kwa marriage.
This is amazing, agreeing to disagreement as life goes on ,I think it will make life soft or easier for someone and don't forget about yourself keep building up yourself without fighting anyone
This woman is so real
Thank God I’m not scared of being alone till death.. I’ll never settle for a selfish person who disrespects me..
Same case dear, if this is how it is I'd rather die alone 🤦🏽♀️
I second you
i agree with her @lynn Ngugi, when a man has one wife n Hes loyal means he has sacrificed his self to that woman, but the truth of the matter is a man can love for women at the sometime
wonderful and mature conversation, thanks lnn show
My grandmother was a second wife, to me it looked nothing out of norm. My grandmother took care of her co wife when she got sick. We have a good relationship with my half cousins from my shosho mukuru.
Nice
Thanks Lynn for bringing someone that talks my mind and moving my direction ❤❤❤❤❤I love her and pls need her again.🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳much love LNN❤✌
I agree with you... she's a vibe 🔥🥰
wow this lady is speaking so powerful... i love it
Hmmmmmmmm if you are in marriage and the man wants to marry someone else I will leave the marriage because he no longer loves the first wife, live a life with my children and have fun
Anything not aligning with the word of God i don't subscribe to, end time demonic teachings, the word of God remains supreme, nothing else!
Women can have friendships, npt affairs. If a man faals out of love, lady, let him move on...dont accept emotional abuse. Living in tht house while hurting doesnt make sense. Don't compromise your happiness
It’s lovely to see that these conversations are finally hitting the table! Let’s learn to accept and accommodate our African brothers or take a hike😅
😂😂😂😂😂
This is an episode that I've enjoyed to watch. Truth be told,African men are polygamous. I refuse to subscribe to that script but when we look around,so many men who seem to be in happy marriages are the ones cheating out here. I also agree with her that in the western culture,they want to preach the philosophy of one man one woman but they have a high divorce rate. Oh let's not forget that women do cheat as well. Research has shown that some married women do cheat. I like that she said that it's not about the other partner,when the cheater decides to step out. Now let me go read her book because I can resonate alot with everything she has said. Good stuff LNN 👏
Weeuhh this conversation is on another level, some truths in it that's always been at the back of our minds...
God at the very beginning set His standards for marriage, there is no where the word of God said that men are naturally polygamous, He did not set up standards that are not achievable to men,our God is so loving... and why is that this it's only men who've got the the leeway to go out and have more partners?(this I view as high level of selfishness.)
I struggle to understand why the woman should be the one to persevere the pain of a man bringing another woman coz apparently the man is 'permitted' to be polygamous( as in do you see the level of selfishness in all this?)
The truth is we are trying to excuse men who have refused to exercise self-control and just want to fulfill their lustful needs.
Women are not lesser beings God loves us all equally, therefore as a woman set your standards right and make your expectations clear in your relationship.
Marriage does not define you at the end of the day,God called you to fullfill your destiny and if your spouse is not supporting you in that, but breaking you and hurting you, you will not get to where God needs you to be.
The truth also is that there are many African monogamous marriages that are thriving by the grace of God, but we do not want to accept it because of our own experiences that have formed very strong opinions of how view life.
I appreciate the soberness with which she brings this topic and I also agree with her on some of these things. I still choose to choose myself over any situation though - regardless of what society or religion says on the matter.
Oyunga skin is glowing ✨️ 😍 on another level.
Interesting conversation but i disagree that i need to accept it God forbid 🚫 if my hubby ever cheats.
It's so sickening when people say, African men blah blah blah...when God was creating Man there's no place he mentioned different characteristics of men depending on their race...So people (African women) should stop tolerating/making excuses for Africa men's disrespect and irresponsible behaviours..🤮🤦🤦
And when did he say what the whites teach us is the correct way. Why do we have to copy western culture?
@@susananyango6471 And who mentioned anything about whites 🤷🤷
Wueh,this topic is 🔥🔥.but true there are things that need to be discussed.
Someone once told me,in African society there's nothing like weddings n altar oaths😳,so a man can even take any woman
It's only in Africa,where women get endless advises about marriages,it's like marriage is about women doing everything,even if it means hurting their feelings just to please men.
Hence the term we need to keep a man
It's sad. Very sad..