As a single black woman interested in marriage it’s nice to see and hear healthy black men speak to both genders with such respect. Thank you gentlemen ❤
Having a circle that’ll keep you accountable is key for a successful life in general… we stress this so much in church, to have a circle that you can run to, that’ll keep you accountable. “Friends” that tell you what you want to hear, isn’t the way. This was a good convo, guys! Love getting y’all perspective.
Specifically w/ me when it comes to accountability i struggle, at times when people try and hold me accountable that sometimes can feel like I’m “wrong”, and that feeling is so similar to the feeling of “rejection”. Both of which I’m (as a woman) not used to. So i do tend to shy away from things regarding that to avoid those feelings. Also in my friends group i do notice that we tip toe around each others feelings and a rarely ever direct and call each other out. This was a great conversation for me and definitely making me aware of these things going fwd. you guys we’re definitely hitting the nail on the head about a lot of things.
We have to look in relationship and see how can we be of service instead of pointing the fingers at what they other person can do for us. That simple mindset shift will help you both be more in flow in your relationship. Everyone wants the benefits but doesn’t want to be in service to their partner 💯
What I love about them and this podcast is they go viral and are popular and nobody is talking shit about people . Most viral stuff is rooted in shaming people and being controversial on purpose but they can bring up topics and have a conversation. As a woman , i appreciate the accountability conversation. Now that I’m close to 30 i can take accountability because i am self aware now but 18-26years old accountability was a stab in my chest. I love these conversations and it’s well heard because nobody yelling at each other like they do on most podcast .
I've had the same Best friend since 6th grade, we are now 34. If women had constant, secure friendships they would feel comfortable to tell their business, and also accept criticism from that person. She can tell me anything, I can tell her anything, we're not falling out.
for minute 40- as a woman, women do have these conversations with their girls about their relationships or conflicts. and if you have good friends, they’ll keep you accountable. i don’t think this is a gender issue as much as it is a maturity issue. women who love their friends and want the best for them are both compassionate, and can tell you hard truths. i’ve had many conversations with my friends like this. women will listen to you cry, stress and complain, and comfort you, but if they’re also good friends to you, they will tell you where you’re in the wrong and where you can improve. i do agree with Jalon though that women tend to communicate differently. generally women do respond better when it feels like self discovery, because they’re given the space to make the connection for themselves. however, i have some friends who aren’t like this, and they need it direct and they tell it direct. so it also depends on the woman and her communication style. overall, this was a great conversation and i think each of you made some really great points. i liked hearing the different perspectives, because all of our personal experiences with people are going to be different. personally, for me, i’ve noticed that in my friendships with other women, if i see a pattern that my friend isn’t someone who’s willing to be held accountable or hold herself to a higher standard, i will naturally distance myself because that’s not the kind of mentality i want to have and i ultimately know they wouldn’t be someone to hold me accountable either which wouldn’t help me grow
Yes! I definitely distance myself from people who don’t want to be held accountable or to a higher standard. My male friends don’t mind my rawness. I don’t beat around the bush. Now my female friends are the total opposite.
I agree with you so much!!! I as well like to surround myself with friends that will hold me accountable but it has been very hard to find female friends that will do that. in my last relationship i made some mistakes and when i brought it up to my friends after the break up they still wanted to find something to blame the guy for instead of holding me accountable. so i had to go and do research on my own and work on myself.
I have friends that will call me specifically because they want to hear where they may be in the wrong or need to be held accountable for their actions; I have also called friends to tell me where I need to be held accountable or need to take a step back because I'm not seeing a situation as clearly as I should be. So, yes, you're absolutely right: women have these conversations (with friends, with female family members, with therapists... heck, sometimes, we might even see someone on the street crying or raging and might even step in in that moment; the bathroom talks at clubs or bars; the random conversations that might happen between trusted co-workers. Women are constantly engaging with each other.
I truly enjoyed this conversation. Love when Jalon comes up with context or just changes a word; something so simple makes conversation so much more palatable and digestible. The older I get to more I see the value in these types of traits. I am not speaking in a romantic sense, but in our everyday lives.
Ive lost so many friendships with other women due to being truthful about things I don’t agree with or actions that weren’t appropriate for certain scenarios. I never realized the pattern there. The discussion about accountability in friendships between men vs women was really interesting, thank u for that
I felt everything around the 18:40 mark. There’s sooo much work that goes into cultivating a fruitful relationship. So many people see us from the outside looking in and it seems they assume it’s just flows effortlessly and although somewhat true we have put in a lot of work. People miss out on healthy relationships by simply not wanting to do the work. I find that doing the work, having those uncomfortable conversations etc makes the connection that much deeper.
Thank you for handling this topic with respect. The amount of care behind this conversation is amazing. Men discussing a woman’s role and progression is rarely handled with such respect.
Yes, thank you guys for explaining the communication part. It’s delivery. Men have to talk to us in a softer tone when holding us accountable. Can’t talk to us like your homeboys when delivering criticism.
@@Erica-cf1xb I have learned to receive constructive criticism a lot better than I used to. I hold my self accountable more than before and not take it as personal attack which is hard when raised with low self esteem. I now know my short comings and I try to work on them but if I mess up I can own up to it now with out feeling less of a person because of my faults.
Agree - The min length of my close friendships has been 10 yrs-26 years. And we both know we’re going to get the real perspectives from each other. I feel like whether someone can be accountable is a character issue. Women will also expect reciprocity in relationships - Are you putting in the same effort you’re requesting. And, while I’m an attractive person, I will say that if you have a look that’s universally coveted by the opposite gender - whether man or woman - you likely haven’t been held to the same standard of accountability bc people may feel that this is their one shot to be w someone like that. Looks and status of people I’ve dated doesn’t phase me, but I’m likely in a very small minority who hold that mindset. But, yeah, accountability isn’t generally an issue for me and my friends.
From my personal experience in my friend groups, they do not. A lot of my friends become defensive , come up with excuses, and/or shut down. The accountability isn’t there. It could be the age or how close we are, not sure of the reason. Either way it’s a general statement that women don’t take accountability. Generalizing never helps but I do agree that the lack of accountability isn’t there in my experiences with other women.
Jalon said a word on accountability! Men and women communicate differently. We don’t receive things the same way vice versa. Jalon gets it! Through self discovery, effective communication is very important between a man and woman. Regardless.
Y’all have been a safe space for me to unravel what I feel and I’m being taught to validate my own voice in community, thank you all so much for showing up!
The title caught my attention and the content kept me engaged and saying a lot of “oooh” and “ahhs” of agreement, self-realization and accountability. Strong, strong work! Love it.
So refreshing to finally see a podcast with men speaking on real solutions in relationships instead of the negative energy towards women. Good job fellas 🫶🏾
I agree women don’t take accountability at all. In our minds we do no wrong and every issue or problem is someone else’s fault. I’ve lost so many relationships with women because I was very honest with them about them not being accountable and I am ok with that, because if I can’t be honest with you when you are wrong then the relationship needed to come to an end. Thank you for having the conversation! I appreciate each of you!!!!
First and foremost, this is a great podcast that displays thought provoking conversation, emotional maturity, and accountability among men. I love how each one of the co-host relate their relationships to the topics and give context to how they arrived at those points in the relationship. On to the current topic of women being accountable, personally I agree. However, it also depends on the woman and her level of self-awareness. In my experiences with friends, I find them to get defensive and combative when keeping it 💯. This is one of the main reasons I have always had more male friends. Mature men are easier to have transparent conversations with and not have to worry about falling out. I’m not a friend that will lie or tell you what you want to hear. Therefore, I have lost friends along the way. I like things straight no chaser and find men will do this more than women when I need to be accountable. In my experience, female friends have been mad catty and talk about your business behind your back versus having a transparent and respectable conversation like mature adults.
Lol. I usually don’t comment on post, but I love y’all podcast, it’s so balanced! It’s so needed. There’s so much fluff out here. I’m an entrepreneur/business owner here in LA born & raised. I’m happily married to a brilliant men… Lol 😂 He actually is super similar to Duke, it’s insane!🤦🏽♀️😂 They have very similar ideologies. I’m a woman myself and I honestly feel like so much of the content about relationships just pander to women for clicks/money. And women fall for it. It’s really sickening. There’s no accountability on the women side. Friends & clients ask me “How did you meet your husband?”, “How do you find a high value men?”, “Does he have any brothers?” Women really really need someone to tell them truth, so I’m glad you guys are helping. We all know in entrepreneurship, sports, & relationships unaccountability will never lead to great results. Wishing you guys much success with your podcast & relationships. This podcast is extremely valuable for people who are willing to be accountable & do the work to build a healthy relationship. Going to reshare y’all channel on my IG.
This whole podcast is emotional foreplay. this is rare. This being broadcasted is what the hurt women of the world need from men. This is healing for both men and women.
Duke hit the nail on the head. When women talk about men it's you statements not I statements. I've even had friends come down on me for saying what I should have done different and they call it misogyny. (I know that's not what misogyny means but that's the feedback). And yes I have lost a lot of friends for being honest even my sister doesn't speak to me now due to giving my honest opinion when she asked on her last relationship. I've learned not to coddle but to stay quiet.
Another great intellectual conversation. Truly if anyone walks away from these episodes not identifying something to takeaway and apply to self then you’re not being accountable for self. I love hearing from intelligent men and your thought process. I agree that as women we need to hold each other more accountable. Women are way more sensitive and take things personally, we over analyze everything and Lord this new age think “everybody hating”. We all should be a work in progress to becoming the best version of ourselves. Heart work is hard work but very necessary to be more like God, which is ultimately what we’re all here for. When you do the hard work you become and exude fruits of the spirit.
You all really spun in a different direction than I thought. The girlies better listen up! Accountability is missed in the conversation of how we grow in relationships so this is spot on🥰
This is by far the best episode I’ve seen, and y’all have had quite a few good ones. No real fingers pointed, lots of explanations, and genuinely honest opinions. Highlighting being personally accountable and holding the other ppl accountable as well.
Just ended a 7 year relationship because HE didn't like to take accountability. Anything I bring to him it was never his fault even though it could blatantly his fault. I got tired of it. He didn't do the work, he doesn't even believe in "WORK" he think I'm delusional and going through a phase bc I'm going to therapy, I'm now aware of anxious and avoidant attachments, childhood trauma, etc. I'm doing my homework, he didn't want to join me so I finally left.
I loved this episode, I needed to hear about accountability like this. It has given me more thought and I didn’t think I’d agree with y’all about women not giving in each other accountability until I analyzed my own relationships with women. It is so true, we do not give each other the accountability that we need because our feelings get in the way. I am so glad y’all touched on this topic and addressed it so “nice and neat”. Keep these conversations going I enjoying listening to them, they help me evaluate myself as continue in my womanhood. 💯👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I love this podcast! Duke mentioned his woman also had to put in work so they could get to the this point. I would love to see an episode with your women so we can hear their perspective. ❤
Yes. Wasn’t sure I would ever see this day. Now WE (women) need the same thing! I love this space we’re in to have healthy dialogue. Black men and women have been needing this so big.
I agreed with most of it, but to O, open- vulnerable conversations with women happen ALL the time. Literally all the time and I think it isn't heard from us because it feels... sacred almost! However, it has to be with your core group of friends.. we don't just gab with anyone about the vulnerable things. Anyway, I loved all your takes on this topic. Great episode guys!!!
I feel that in most circles that Ive witness men do NOT hold each other accountable, it's the "atleast I'm not the worst one type of vibe". It's in all of our media and entertainment but both can be true at the same time!
I think the words accountability and responsibility are triggering to anyone who is stuck in the victimhood consciousness. In such a state, and from that perspective, it sounds like blame. That’s why self-responsibility is the threshold between the powerlessness of the victim stage and the empowerment of the survivor stage. Most people never cross that threshold because it’s easier to remain blameless. We can see those trends in relationships and society. Those who do take on the more challenging path of self-responsibility bring positive contributions to relationships and society.
Nothing but women have held me accountable. I have an amazing circle of women that literally hold each other accountable daily. We have the hard convos all the time and it's been that way for years. Can't relate.
I definitely agree we don’t like always taking accountability when it’s presented to us from others instead of through self discovery and we do put a pressure on ourselves to be perfect because society tells you this is how you attract get and keep a man or your family telling you find a man or you need to settle down with someone but then also internalizing that and saying to ourselves we have to be picture perfect for the right man shows up for us.
I feel like women don’t express the issues of what is going on in their relationship with other women, because of a lack of trust that stems from jealousy/cattiness that one may receive from other women. Some women who are “friends” with other women want their girlfriend’s situation and will not aid in giving great advice because of envy and covetousness. Ex: My aunt went to a hair dresser for years and told her stylist personal things that wasn’t working out with her husband because she trusted that stylist and thought that being there was a safe space to release and get feedback (just as men do at barbershops), only to find that her stylist have been sleeping with her husband for a year. It’s truly hard to trust women nowadays and I think it’s because most and not all women have to heal before being completely vulnerable and cultivating a friendship that’s healthy and equally open like Nice & Neat Podcast. It’s sad to say but some women have “girlfriends” because it look good on paper, however many do not fully trust those same women to be as open as men are today.
Another fabulous episode yall 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I’m catching up tonight lol. My only feedback on this one is I was one of the comments asking if y’all have a brother or cousin 🤣 so out that gate I was hit okay?! BUT I will say a lot of us women that are millennials or 30+, are truly doin the work out here and are asking for like minded men like you all because they’re rare to find! I have literally shared you all with 2 of my male friends and they say y’all lyin and probably cheating 😂 I STAY holdin it down and truly believe y’all words here because I’m trying to keep my hope alive that more men will eventually hit the switch and start doing the work too. Like I said I’m catching up on earlier episodes but I’m not sure if y’all are in counseling or whatever but that’s a big help in working thru a lot of self work to do better in relationships. I’m 33 and have done work, so I get it first hand. Last thing 😅 lol again women around my age or older do have more friends to hold them accountable for their BS. I don’t mind giving people the truth with love, it’s ways to say things, it’s about knowing who you talkin to. If you’re too scared to say it because they might not want to be friends, ✌🏽 because I need people around me who can correct me and can stand to be corrected, it goes both ways for sure. Okay, things that’s all I wanted to say lol I appreciate this dialogue ❤
The truth is - we don’t always hold each other accountable as we should. I hear my girls out but there’s a lot of times where I bite my tongue because I know it won’t be received if I call them out on their faults. Likewise, I’ve been told that I don’t handle my own criticism well and it’s something I’m working to improve on. I love this conversation, thank you for being the strong men we need.
In my friend group we’re really open and honest. We keep it real funky because in our circle we value ACCOUNTABILITY!!! The difference is we cultivate an atmosphere that allows us to be open and honest! Our foundation is sturdy and we have put in the time with each other to build that trust! I thank GOD for the friends I do life with! This was a great conversation thank y’all for this one! As O would say, “One of them ones!” Lol
Well, I must say that this podcast was truly insightful and informative in the perspective of men. As a woman on my behalf, holding myself accountable is something I truly put on a pedestal just because I never want to come off as arrogant or ignorant to my own actions and behaviors. This was extremely refreshing to hear that men still have these thought processes. I thank you for broadcasting this, spreading more awareness.
Jalon is the most on point with his assessment on women! I think Omar’s assessment makes sense for his current situation. But every relationship is different and every person is different.
Love you guys. Just found your channel and been blown away on how beautiful every thought given is. You guys are examples of men that need to be produced and nurtured more. I pray for a safe place continuously for your men group.
This is working on me, it’s explaining what I’m going through, my frustrations are normal, just another part of growth. But it really takes two people who are willing to work and understand one another. This is some real accountability on both ends, an eye opener 🤞
Most women I interact with do have very vulnerable and accountable conversations. That's why I love them. I can only speak to the women I know and associate with.
One of my favorite episodes! I always feel like I’m talking to my older brothers in this podcast. The accountability is something I always strive to have but hearing you guys talk about other things help me come into perspective of what I need to be more accountable with.
There are women out here that are accountable. If we’re friends I’m going to call you out (out of love) and I expect my friend to call me out as well and give me a different perspective. My feelings weren’t get hurt, you’re giving me a different perspective on something that I’m not looking at and now I take that information and apply it to the situation.
I fully believe the title of this episode is totally accurate, and I am a woman. As a woman of a mature age, I am rare. . My experience with family, career/professional, personal relationships with women, the majority are insecure, dishonest, jealous, petty, disloyal, manipulative without reason. In the end it's always division and never unity. I'm honest, supportive, loyal, hard working, responsible, can hold my own in the Board Room, the aggressive person in public wanting conflict, whatever. I hold myself in high regard, morals, manners, a person with character striving to be the best human being to myself and others.. i have confidence, not conceit cause we're all equal. Until you show me different, we're good. Unfortunately, women go to the lowest levels for greed, attention, etc. and have become the majority. Levels meaning fraud, false allegations and documents, id theft, etc. - Can't make this stuff up, it's real. Trust God and yourself - never go wrong. Keep up the conversations - so many people don't have a clue about life and all that means
No lies told, ive lost my closest friends being honest telling them theyre in the wrong. Many women HATE being told no or when youre not in line with their delusion.
Hearing guys speak about healthy relationships and the past that it took to get there, open my eyes to see that Im not going to meet someone and it be perfect.. that when two people come together, for every 75% that u like of someone that its ok to understand that the 25% can be worked thru if both parties agree, cse me.. if the 25% is off then hes not truly the one... bt hearing one of u say, things he didnt like, she had to choose to adjust to adapt, instead of just feeling oh because of this its over.... gives me hope for dating knowing its not magical, it takes work❤❤❤❤
I agree with both J and O on the accountability side. There are MANY women who have a problem with accountability, BUT there are also PLENTY of women who don't have a problem with accountability except in how it's presented. Speaking as a woman who has been and seen both.
GOD BLESS Y'ALL --- > THIS IS SO GOOD! In your singleness, it's important to self-reflect and love yourself before you take on responsibility in a relationship. Communication is key but understanding your trauma to communicate your needs and value is so important.
My ex would try and hold me accountable when I messed up and I would take it super personal and would shut down and feel inadequate because I wasn’t doing a good job like I thought I was. I still have to work on my emotional intelligence.
Same sis. It's a process to unravel the things we do and do it differently. I'm learning to give myself grace and allow the uncomfortability to come and sit with it, then move on. Learn the lesson and apply it IN THE MOMENT and not later lol.
You all couldn’t have explained this any better! And yes it is very true women have a hard timing being honest with their friends about accountability and usually use it as a opportunity to blame their partner which can also cause more problems.
Jalon’s perspective on how to deliver accountability to your woman sparked a bulb in my mind. It may not work all the time and obviously depends depending on your woman, but I appreciate the perspective. I typically lean toward Omar and Duke’s delivery, but I’ll try to implement the perspective Jalon presented in my future practices. Thank you all for the podcast.
Women who are developed and open to ongoingly develop into amazing women are holding their counterparts accountable. My friends are assisting in shaping the best me and vice versa.
Just as much as you feel you don’t hear about women having vulnerable conversations, I don’t feel enough men have the conversations BUT maybe they do and I just don’t hear about it, like you said!
I do this with my man. I don’t call him for everything of course but I definitely call him cus he knows the person I am so at times when I need help or overwhelmed or even stuck in my head with stuff my man definitely make me feel at ease ALOT I’m an over thinker and completely opposite of him and I trust in his responses. I’m still working on me & he understands that we goin on 5yrs which was NOT easy and still takes work but when we flow we are powered in everything we do.
i lost a friend of damn near 10 years because I told the truth. Women are way harder on their friends than they are their partners and it sort of sad because then they gotta come back with their tails tucked if the relationship doesn't work out. I've been saying this for years that people overall don't know what true friendship looks like cause it not just a yes man or woman.
Omfg this episode was something I def needed to sit down on. As a gay male who has always had strong relationships with women this was a fresh take. I especially was taken aback with the moment on ‘expectations’ that Jalon took on and not only affirmed my thought on it but also expanded it so effortlessly. Def sharing this on the gram, keep up the great work guys bless up
I really enjoyed this episode and I agreed with most of the statements made. Each example that was given I could think of a woman I know that absolutely did whatever the example was about. Even some things said I was like “ dang, I do that. I need to do better.” Overall amazing episode 💚 I really look forward to these every week. Even if the topic relates to mainly men, I still learn from it and try to apply it to my marriage.
Wowness. Some hard pills to swallow but very much true. Keep it coming guys! Accountability is definitely a trigger word. Now, I need to figure out why and how to correct that.
Not even gon hold you but these men are IMHO the QUINTESSENTIAL examples of what it means to be BALANCED in both masculine and feminine energies...THAT'S what's so freaking rare LOL...a lot of men are so unbalanced...wanting women to chase them, bisexuality and other shenanigans which I attribute to toxic food and water..but I digress...LOVED this!!!!!
this was a great episode, it revealed to me part of what i already knew which is alot of people dont know how to be in a relationship, nor because most people do alot of causal unintentional dating, giving people all of them with no plans on truly being with them....if a man has not dated seriously in a long time he wont really know what to do in a relationship with a woman, and for the woman who requires him to actually be a boyfriend something he has never done, if he is self aware he will show up for her, if he is not he wont be a good boyfriend to her and everything she requires which is what comes with a relationship will be a nag to him..smh like when the guy said i didnt like the check ins, what i realized is some(not all, and not referring to him) guys who are raised by single mothers who allowed them to do whatever they wanted and not take accountability they will not like to check in with their lady, they look at it in a negative way and it does depend on other factors as well. but again people dont know the simple things of being in a relationship and its very disappointing...
It’s a mindset thing . Which I do understand that some are content with where they are and when that person come into a person life and display what a person is not use to , some tend to run away rather than looking at how it could help strengthen their partnership .
wow, this episode was very spot on. I am shocked, never had to recognize the pov you guys explained for us females. Just getting to know and hear the men’s pov about topics, makes me understand men more and more. Always staying intrigued 🙌🏼
Dang sounds like we all dating the same women lmao Y’all spoke nothing but facts mayne, O & Duke you got real experience 😅💯 Jalen still in the Honeymoon stage lol Nice episode 💯
I agree with what Duke said. Most women are afraid to hold their friends accountable because they don’t want to bring out an emotional reaction from that friend. There’s nothing worse than trying to be honest with a female friend and she starts acting mean or rude towards you because she doesn’t like hearing the truth. This is the main reason why it’s hard for me to maintain female friendships. I’m very receptive to constructive criticism but some ppl refuse to give that same energy back
Another one of those convos where yall spoke on the mentality of women without a woman present. I rarely hear of men being vulnerable and confiding in their friends but I’m sure it happens. Women do trust other women and confide in them. We tell our girlfriends things we would NEVER tell our man. Edit: Jalon said a word. And I think the generalization of women by the other two was very telling.
This is such a great conversation but keep in mind women are internally constantly critical of themselves. We know this and that is why we encourage instead. It’s due to hormones and causes diffuse awareness.
Clarity in communication. I knowwww I have failed at this. Especially as it pertains to how I feel (Platonic relationships or romantic). All this time I’ve been saying “I’m picking my battles’ when in reality, I was either accepting poor behavior, or fear of talking about things because I didn’t want to be coined as too emotional… or more importantly, I was afraid to open up and show how vulnerable and open I was feeling (didn’t want to appear feeble). Ugh, let me stop running from the work. Lol
We are not liked And end up loners most of the time because you are the bad guy if you hold them accountable and don’t excuse bad behavior. It’s very rare to find women like that fully accountable 💯 being “too real” is a real thing.
Another great convo! True partnership requires you to clock in everyday. We def have these types of conversations , we can absolutely hold each other accountable way more…we also enable a lot of times too 👀
Appreciated…. One comment that was made was said that women think that are perfect and that maybe we as men think that they are perfect and we don’t. I disagree. I don’t think women think that they are perfect. However they do in general think that they are better in a relationship than you are. So they know they have room for improvement and accountability they just know that by playing the odds men are going to mess up on the surface quicker or at least it presents itself as quicker because of how we get caught doing or saying something. BUT we more often than not accept the truth as it is revealed. On the other hand her short comings never gets a chance to be placed on the table for scrutiny and correction because our shortcomings are always on the table for discussion. It’s a game of sorts. A sad game but a game. Take care guys. ✊🏾
I really enjoyed this episode, there were so many gems shared. Great dialogue, insightful perspective, and thoughtful examples. Gained a deeper understanding on how men move and process things. One thing I couldn’t relate to was O’s statement about people always doing stuff for you, because you’re a woman. My life experience has been quite the contrary. 😂 I think that statement is not a one size fits all. I also personally appreciate accountability, but believe delivery with respect to tone and tact is important.
As a single black woman interested in marriage it’s nice to see and hear healthy black men speak to both genders with such respect. Thank you gentlemen ❤
“Are you running from the person or running from the work?” Such a powerful question.
Both 😂
Running from the “Work!”
Same thing that stopped me while watching like damn!
Having a circle that’ll keep you accountable is key for a successful life in general… we stress this so much in church, to have a circle that you can run to, that’ll keep you accountable. “Friends” that tell you what you want to hear, isn’t the way. This was a good convo, guys! Love getting y’all perspective.
This is such a healthy channel. No matter what sex, everyone should listen to y’all. 🙏🏾♥️
Specifically w/ me when it comes to accountability i struggle, at times when people try and hold me accountable that sometimes can feel like I’m “wrong”, and that feeling is so similar to the feeling of “rejection”. Both of which I’m (as a woman) not used to. So i do tend to shy away from things regarding that to avoid those feelings. Also in my friends group i do notice that we tip toe around each others feelings and a rarely ever direct and call each other out. This was a great conversation for me and definitely making me aware of these things going fwd. you guys we’re definitely hitting the nail on the head about a lot of things.
We have to look in relationship and see how can we be of service instead of pointing the fingers at what they other person can do for us. That simple mindset shift will help you both be more in flow in your relationship. Everyone wants the benefits but doesn’t want to be in service to their partner 💯
It’s alllllll about serving !!! ❤❤❤ when we get that , it’ll be beautiful
What I love about them and this podcast is they go viral and are popular and nobody is talking shit about people . Most viral stuff is rooted in shaming people and being controversial on purpose but they can bring up topics and have a conversation.
As a woman , i appreciate the accountability conversation. Now that I’m close to 30 i can take accountability because i am self aware now but 18-26years old accountability was a stab in my chest. I love these conversations and it’s well heard because nobody yelling at each other like they do on most podcast .
I've had the same Best friend since 6th grade, we are now 34. If women had constant, secure friendships they would feel comfortable to tell their business, and also accept criticism from that person. She can tell me anything, I can tell her anything, we're not falling out.
for minute 40- as a woman, women do have these conversations with their girls about their relationships or conflicts. and if you have good friends, they’ll keep you accountable. i don’t think this is a gender issue as much as it is a maturity issue. women who love their friends and want the best for them are both compassionate, and can tell you hard truths. i’ve had many conversations with my friends like this. women will listen to you cry, stress and complain, and comfort you, but if they’re also good friends to you, they will tell you where you’re in the wrong and where you can improve. i do agree with Jalon though that women tend to communicate differently. generally women do respond better when it feels like self discovery, because they’re given the space to make the connection for themselves. however, i have some friends who aren’t like this, and they need it direct and they tell it direct. so it also depends on the woman and her communication style. overall, this was a great conversation and i think each of you made some really great points. i liked hearing the different perspectives, because all of our personal experiences with people are going to be different.
personally, for me, i’ve noticed that in my friendships with other women, if i see a pattern that my friend isn’t someone who’s willing to be held accountable or hold herself to a higher standard, i will naturally distance myself because that’s not the kind of mentality i want to have and i ultimately know they wouldn’t be someone to hold me accountable either which wouldn’t help me grow
IM THAT FREIND THATS GONNA HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE ILL LEAD WITH LOVE BUT DELIVER WITH RAWNESS.
Yes! I definitely distance myself from people who don’t want to be held accountable or to a higher standard.
My male friends don’t mind my rawness. I don’t beat around the bush. Now my female friends are the total opposite.
I agree with you so much!!! I as well like to surround myself with friends that will hold me accountable but it has been very hard to find female friends that will do that. in my last relationship i made some mistakes and when i brought it up to my friends after the break up they still wanted to find something to blame the guy for instead of holding me accountable. so i had to go and do research on my own and work on myself.
Exactly. It isn’t a woman thing, it is about maturity. I hate when they have these convos with no women present.
I have friends that will call me specifically because they want to hear where they may be in the wrong or need to be held accountable for their actions; I have also called friends to tell me where I need to be held accountable or need to take a step back because I'm not seeing a situation as clearly as I should be.
So, yes, you're absolutely right: women have these conversations (with friends, with female family members, with therapists... heck, sometimes, we might even see someone on the street crying or raging and might even step in in that moment; the bathroom talks at clubs or bars; the random conversations that might happen between trusted co-workers. Women are constantly engaging with each other.
If I am wrong I am taking full responsibility and accountability for my actions not play victim or shift blame!! That's True Growth!😊
I truly enjoyed this conversation. Love when Jalon comes up with context or just changes a word; something so simple makes conversation so much more palatable and digestible. The older I get to more I see the value in these types of traits. I am not speaking in a romantic sense, but in our everyday lives.
Ive lost so many friendships with other women due to being truthful about things I don’t agree with or actions that weren’t appropriate for certain scenarios. I never realized the pattern there. The discussion about accountability in friendships between men vs women was really interesting, thank u for that
Great input! 🥃🥃🥃
if you are loosing friends maybe its how you say it and not what you say
I felt everything around the 18:40 mark. There’s sooo much work that goes into cultivating a fruitful relationship. So many people see us from the outside looking in and it seems they assume it’s just flows effortlessly and although somewhat true we have put in a lot of work. People miss out on healthy relationships by simply not wanting to do the work. I find that doing the work, having those uncomfortable conversations etc makes the connection that much deeper.
Thank you for handling this topic with respect. The amount of care behind this conversation is amazing. Men discussing a woman’s role and progression is rarely handled with such respect.
These guys should definitely write a book…lots of them. They are so good at explaining things. So intelligent and wise!
Yes, thank you guys for explaining the communication part. It’s delivery. Men have to talk to us in a softer tone when holding us accountable. Can’t talk to us like your homeboys when delivering criticism.
Kendra...how well do you receive constructive criticism or feedback from other women who are in that place in life where you are trying to get to?
@@Erica-cf1xb I have learned to receive constructive criticism a lot better than I used to. I hold my self accountable more than before and not take it as personal attack which is hard when raised with low self esteem. I now know my short comings and I try to work on them but if I mess up I can own up to it now with out feeling less of a person because of my faults.
We (women) definitely do have conversations with our women circles 🎉 AND we’re accountable to each other
Agree - The min length of my close friendships has been 10 yrs-26 years. And we both know we’re going to get the real perspectives from each other.
I feel like whether someone can be accountable is a character issue.
Women will also expect reciprocity in relationships - Are you putting in the same effort you’re requesting.
And, while I’m an attractive person, I will say that if you have a look that’s universally coveted by the opposite gender - whether man or woman - you likely haven’t been held to the same standard of accountability bc people may feel that this is their one shot to be w someone like that. Looks and status of people I’ve dated doesn’t phase me, but I’m likely in a very small minority who hold that mindset.
But, yeah, accountability isn’t generally an issue for me and my friends.
Thank you! Because I’m like I am definitely accountable. Every women is not the same.
Too the point we hurt each others feelings at times.
@@lashaysowell4006 Because we know it’s necessary for growth
From my personal experience in my friend groups, they do not. A lot of my friends become defensive , come up with excuses, and/or shut down. The accountability isn’t there. It could be the age or how close we are, not sure of the reason. Either way it’s a general statement that women don’t take accountability. Generalizing never helps but I do agree that the lack of accountability isn’t there in my experiences with other women.
Jalon said a word on accountability! Men and women communicate differently. We don’t receive things the same way vice versa. Jalon gets it! Through self discovery, effective communication is very important between a man and woman. Regardless.
Y’all have been a safe space for me to unravel what I feel and I’m being taught to validate my own voice in community, thank you all so much for showing up!
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The title caught my attention and the content kept me engaged and saying a lot of “oooh” and “ahhs” of agreement, self-realization and accountability. Strong, strong work! Love it.
So refreshing to finally see a podcast with men speaking on real solutions in relationships instead of the negative energy towards women. Good job fellas 🫶🏾
I agree women don’t take accountability at all. In our minds we do no wrong and every issue or problem is someone else’s fault. I’ve lost so many relationships with women because I was very honest with them about them not being accountable and I am ok with that, because if I can’t be honest with you when you are wrong then the relationship needed to come to an end. Thank you for having the conversation! I appreciate each of you!!!!
First and foremost, this is a great podcast that displays thought provoking conversation, emotional maturity, and accountability among men. I love how each one of the co-host relate their relationships to the topics and give context to how they arrived at those points in the relationship. On to the current topic of women being accountable, personally I agree. However, it also depends on the woman and her level of self-awareness. In my experiences with friends, I find them to get defensive and combative when keeping it 💯. This is one of the main reasons I have always had more male friends. Mature men are easier to have transparent conversations with and not have to worry about falling out. I’m not a friend that will lie or tell you what you want to hear. Therefore, I have lost friends along the way. I like things straight no chaser and find men will do this more than women when I need to be accountable. In my experience, female friends have been mad catty and talk about your business behind your back versus having a transparent and respectable conversation like mature adults.
Lol. I usually don’t comment on post, but I love y’all podcast, it’s so balanced! It’s so needed. There’s so much fluff out here.
I’m an entrepreneur/business owner here in LA born & raised. I’m happily married to a brilliant men… Lol 😂 He actually is super similar to Duke, it’s insane!🤦🏽♀️😂 They have very similar ideologies.
I’m a woman myself and I honestly feel like so much of the content about relationships just pander to women for clicks/money. And women fall for it. It’s really sickening. There’s no accountability on the women side. Friends & clients ask me “How did you meet your husband?”, “How do you find a high value men?”, “Does he have any brothers?”
Women really really need someone to tell them truth, so I’m glad you guys are helping. We all know in entrepreneurship, sports, & relationships unaccountability will never lead to great results.
Wishing you guys much success with your podcast & relationships. This podcast is extremely valuable for people who are willing to be accountable & do the work to build a healthy relationship. Going to reshare y’all channel on my IG.
This whole podcast is emotional foreplay. this is rare. This being broadcasted is what the hurt women of the world need from men. This is healing for both men and women.
Duke hit the nail on the head. When women talk about men it's you statements not I statements. I've even had friends come down on me for saying what I should have done different and they call it misogyny. (I know that's not what misogyny means but that's the feedback). And yes I have lost a lot of friends for being honest even my sister doesn't speak to me now due to giving my honest opinion when she asked on her last relationship. I've learned not to coddle but to stay quiet.
Another great intellectual conversation. Truly if anyone walks away from these episodes not identifying something to takeaway and apply to self then you’re not being accountable for self. I love hearing from intelligent men and your thought process. I agree that as women we need to hold each other more accountable. Women are way more sensitive and take things personally, we over analyze everything and Lord this new age think “everybody hating”. We all should be a work in progress to becoming the best version of ourselves. Heart work is hard work but very necessary to be more like God, which is ultimately what we’re all here for. When you do the hard work you become and exude fruits of the spirit.
You all really spun in a different direction than I thought. The girlies better listen up! Accountability is missed in the conversation of how we grow in relationships so this is spot on🥰
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That is sooooo good ''' being a leader is not a right, its a privilege'' gems. WOW
This is by far the best episode I’ve seen, and y’all have had quite a few good ones. No real fingers pointed, lots of explanations, and genuinely honest opinions. Highlighting being personally accountable and holding the other ppl accountable as well.
I’m in a new relationship and I’m using your podcast to help me as a woman ❤
Just ended a 7 year relationship because HE didn't like to take accountability. Anything I bring to him it was never his fault even though it could blatantly his fault. I got tired of it. He didn't do the work, he doesn't even believe in "WORK" he think I'm delusional and going through a phase bc I'm going to therapy, I'm now aware of anxious and avoidant attachments, childhood trauma, etc. I'm doing my homework, he didn't want to join me so I finally left.
Same girl same
7? Girl
I ended a 3 year relationship two months ago for the same reason sis!
@@anyiah4617 it’s hard to let go of comfort but I think it’s the best decision in the end
The self discovery way of accountability take is soo true ! Jalon always speaks facts
When you’re single yes
In a relationship, when something happens for women to take accountability, most of the time, they can’t channel that
I loved this episode, I needed to hear about accountability like this. It has given me more thought and I didn’t think I’d agree with y’all about women not giving in each other accountability until I analyzed my own relationships with women. It is so true, we do not give each other the accountability that we need because our feelings get in the way. I am so glad y’all touched on this topic and addressed it so “nice and neat”. Keep these conversations going I enjoying listening to them, they help me evaluate myself as continue in my womanhood. 💯👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I love this podcast! Duke mentioned his woman also had to put in work so they could get to the this point. I would love to see an episode with your women so we can hear their perspective. ❤
This is great, not beating up on women but having edifying conversations. New subscriber. Please keep it coming
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Yes. Wasn’t sure I would ever see this day. Now WE (women) need the same thing! I love this space we’re in to have healthy dialogue. Black men and women have been needing this so big.
I agreed with most of it, but to O, open- vulnerable conversations with women happen ALL the time. Literally all the time and I think it isn't heard from us because it feels... sacred almost! However, it has to be with your core group of friends.. we don't just gab with anyone about the vulnerable things. Anyway, I loved all your takes on this topic. Great episode guys!!!
Agree - def sacred
I feel that in most circles that Ive witness men do NOT hold each other accountable, it's the "atleast I'm not the worst one type of vibe". It's in all of our media and entertainment but both can be true at the same time!
I am thankful for the three of you! You all speak with wisdom and grace, helping guide many to a better version of ourselves.
I think the words accountability and responsibility are triggering to anyone who is stuck in the victimhood consciousness. In such a state, and from that perspective, it sounds like blame. That’s why self-responsibility is the threshold between the powerlessness of the victim stage and the empowerment of the survivor stage. Most people never cross that threshold because it’s easier to remain blameless. We can see those trends in relationships and society. Those who do take on the more challenging path of self-responsibility bring positive contributions to relationships and society.
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Nothing but women have held me accountable. I have an amazing circle of women that literally hold each other accountable daily. We have the hard convos all the time and it's been that way for years. Can't relate.
I definitely agree we don’t like always taking accountability when it’s presented to us from others instead of through self discovery and we do put a pressure on ourselves to be perfect because society tells you this is how you attract get and keep a man or your family telling you find a man or you need to settle down with someone but then also internalizing that and saying to ourselves we have to be picture perfect for the right man shows up for us.
Love the honesty 🥃🥃🥃
Well said!
God has His hands in this podcast, for sure.
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Some women find it hard to hold themselves accountable not all. Not all women are the same. Some of us have done the work.
I feel like women don’t express the issues of what is going on in their relationship with other women, because of a lack of trust that stems from jealousy/cattiness that one may receive from other women. Some women who are “friends” with other women want their girlfriend’s situation and will not aid in giving great advice because of envy and covetousness. Ex: My aunt went to a hair dresser for years and told her stylist personal things that wasn’t working out with her husband because she trusted that stylist and thought that being there was a safe space to release and get feedback (just as men do at barbershops), only to find that her stylist have been sleeping with her husband for a year. It’s truly hard to trust women nowadays and I think it’s because most and not all women have to heal before being completely vulnerable and cultivating a friendship that’s healthy and equally open like Nice & Neat Podcast. It’s sad to say but some women have “girlfriends” because it look good on paper, however many do not fully trust those same women to be as open as men are today.
Another fabulous episode yall 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I’m catching up tonight lol. My only feedback on this one is I was one of the comments asking if y’all have a brother or cousin 🤣 so out that gate I was hit okay?! BUT I will say a lot of us women that are millennials or 30+, are truly doin the work out here and are asking for like minded men like you all because they’re rare to find! I have literally shared you all with 2 of my male friends and they say y’all lyin and probably cheating 😂 I STAY holdin it down and truly believe y’all words here because I’m trying to keep my hope alive that more men will eventually hit the switch and start doing the work too. Like I said I’m catching up on earlier episodes but I’m not sure if y’all are in counseling or whatever but that’s a big help in working thru a lot of self work to do better in relationships. I’m 33 and have done work, so I get it first hand. Last thing 😅 lol again women around my age or older do have more friends to hold them accountable for their BS. I don’t mind giving people the truth with love, it’s ways to say things, it’s about knowing who you talkin to. If you’re too scared to say it because they might not want to be friends, ✌🏽 because I need people around me who can correct me and can stand to be corrected, it goes both ways for sure. Okay, things that’s all I wanted to say lol I appreciate this dialogue ❤
The truth is - we don’t always hold each other accountable as we should. I hear my girls out but there’s a lot of times where I bite my tongue because I know it won’t be received if I call them out on their faults.
Likewise, I’ve been told that I don’t handle my own criticism well and it’s something I’m working to improve on.
I love this conversation, thank you for being the strong men we need.
In my friend group we’re really open and honest. We keep it real funky because in our circle we value ACCOUNTABILITY!!! The difference is we cultivate an atmosphere that allows us to be open and honest! Our foundation is sturdy and we have put in the time with each other to build that trust! I thank GOD for the friends I do life with! This was a great conversation thank y’all for this one! As O would say, “One of them ones!” Lol
My fav male podcast!!! POINT. BLANK. PERIOD.
Consistency going crazy! Keep it up y’all! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
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Well, I must say that this podcast was truly insightful and informative in the perspective of men.
As a woman on my behalf, holding myself accountable is something I truly put on a pedestal just because I never want to come off as arrogant or ignorant to my own actions and behaviors.
This was extremely refreshing to hear that men still have these thought processes. I thank you for broadcasting this, spreading more awareness.
Jalon is the most on point with his assessment on women! I think Omar’s assessment makes sense for his current situation. But every relationship is different and every person is different.
Love you guys. Just found your channel and been blown away on how beautiful every thought given is. You guys are examples of men that need to be produced and nurtured more. I pray for a safe place continuously for your men group.
This is working on me, it’s explaining what I’m going through, my frustrations are normal, just another part of growth. But it really takes two people who are willing to work and understand one another. This is some real accountability on both ends, an eye opener 🤞
Most women I interact with do have very vulnerable and accountable conversations. That's why I love them. I can only speak to the women I know and associate with.
One of my favorite episodes! I always feel like I’m talking to my older brothers in this podcast. The accountability is something I always strive to have but hearing you guys talk about other things help me come into perspective of what I need to be more accountable with.
There are women out here that are accountable. If we’re friends I’m going to call you out (out of love) and I expect my friend to call me out as well and give me a different perspective. My feelings weren’t get hurt, you’re giving me a different perspective on something that I’m not looking at and now I take that information and apply it to the situation.
I fully believe the title of this episode is totally accurate, and I am a woman. As a woman of a mature age, I am rare. . My experience with family, career/professional, personal relationships with women, the majority are insecure, dishonest, jealous, petty, disloyal, manipulative without reason. In the end it's always division and never unity. I'm honest, supportive, loyal, hard working, responsible, can hold my own in the Board Room, the aggressive person in public wanting conflict, whatever. I hold myself in high regard, morals, manners, a person with character striving to be the best human being to myself and others.. i have confidence, not conceit cause we're all equal. Until you show me different, we're good. Unfortunately, women go to the lowest levels for greed, attention, etc. and have become the majority. Levels meaning fraud, false allegations and documents, id theft, etc. - Can't make this stuff up, it's real. Trust God and yourself - never go wrong. Keep up the conversations - so many people don't have a clue about life and all that means
No lies told, ive lost my closest friends being honest telling them theyre in the wrong. Many women HATE being told no or when youre not in line with their delusion.
Hearing guys speak about healthy relationships and the past that it took to get there, open my eyes to see that Im not going to meet someone and it be perfect.. that when two people come together, for every 75% that u like of someone that its ok to understand that the 25% can be worked thru if both parties agree, cse me.. if the 25% is off then hes not truly the one... bt hearing one of u say, things he didnt like, she had to choose to adjust to adapt, instead of just feeling oh because of this its over.... gives me hope for dating knowing its not magical, it takes work❤❤❤❤
I agree with both J and O on the accountability side. There are MANY women who have a problem with accountability, BUT there are also PLENTY of women who don't have a problem with accountability except in how it's presented. Speaking as a woman who has been and seen both.
25:20 the part about intricacies in your check-ins! Wuuuu! That's it right there.
GOD BLESS Y'ALL --- > THIS IS SO GOOD! In your singleness, it's important to self-reflect and love yourself before you take on responsibility in a relationship. Communication is key but understanding your trauma to communicate your needs and value is so important.
My ex would try and hold me accountable when I messed up and I would take it super personal and would shut down and feel inadequate because I wasn’t doing a good job like I thought I was. I still have to work on my emotional intelligence.
Same sis. It's a process to unravel the things we do and do it differently. I'm learning to give myself grace and allow the uncomfortability to come and sit with it, then move on. Learn the lesson and apply it IN THE MOMENT and not later lol.
The fact that you are aware and can acknowledge you need work says you are well on your way! Congratulations and Good job!
You all couldn’t have explained this any better! And yes it is very true women have a hard timing being honest with their friends about accountability and usually use it as a opportunity to blame their partner which can also cause more problems.
Jalon’s perspective on how to deliver accountability to your woman sparked a bulb in my mind. It may not work all the time and obviously depends depending on your woman, but I appreciate the perspective. I typically lean toward Omar and Duke’s delivery, but I’ll try to implement the perspective Jalon presented in my future practices. Thank you all for the podcast.
Women who are developed and open to ongoingly develop into amazing women are holding their counterparts accountable. My friends are assisting in shaping the best me and vice versa.
Just as much as you feel you don’t hear about women having vulnerable conversations, I don’t feel enough men have the conversations BUT maybe they do and I just don’t hear about it, like you said!
I do this with my man. I don’t call him for everything of course but I definitely call him cus he knows the person I am so at times when I need help or overwhelmed or even stuck in my head with stuff my man definitely make me feel at ease ALOT I’m an over thinker and completely opposite of him and I trust in his responses. I’m still working on me & he understands that we goin on 5yrs which was NOT easy and still takes work but when we flow we are powered in everything we do.
i lost a friend of damn near 10 years because I told the truth. Women are way harder on their friends than they are their partners and it sort of sad because then they gotta come back with their tails tucked if the relationship doesn't work out. I've been saying this for years that people overall don't know what true friendship looks like cause it not just a yes man or woman.
Omfg this episode was something I def needed to sit down on. As a gay male who has always had strong relationships with women this was a fresh take. I especially was taken aback with the moment on ‘expectations’ that Jalon took on and not only affirmed my thought on it but also expanded it so effortlessly. Def sharing this on the gram, keep up the great work guys bless up
MANE IM READY!
Cant wait fellas, love the podcast!
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I really enjoyed this episode and I agreed with most of the statements made. Each example that was given I could think of a woman I know that absolutely did whatever the example was about. Even some things said I was like “ dang, I do that. I need to do better.” Overall amazing episode 💚 I really look forward to these every week. Even if the topic relates to mainly men, I still learn from it and try to apply it to my marriage.
Duke that accountable statement was the truthhhhhhhh!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Great conversation as usual, gentlemen. Please keep the episodes coming.
Wowness. Some hard pills to swallow but very much true. Keep it coming guys! Accountability is definitely a trigger word. Now, I need to figure out why and how to correct that.
Not even gon hold you but these men are IMHO the QUINTESSENTIAL examples of what it means to be BALANCED in both masculine and feminine energies...THAT'S what's so freaking rare LOL...a lot of men are so unbalanced...wanting women to chase them, bisexuality and other shenanigans which I attribute to toxic food and water..but I digress...LOVED this!!!!!
this was a great episode, it revealed to me part of what i already knew which is alot of people dont know how to be in a relationship, nor because most people do alot of causal unintentional dating, giving people all of them with no plans on truly being with them....if a man has not dated seriously in a long time he wont really know what to do in a relationship with a woman, and for the woman who requires him to actually be a boyfriend something he has never done, if he is self aware he will show up for her, if he is not he wont be a good boyfriend to her and everything she requires which is what comes with a relationship will be a nag to him..smh like when the guy said i didnt like the check ins, what i realized is some(not all, and not referring to him) guys who are raised by single mothers who allowed them to do whatever they wanted and not take accountability they will not like to check in with their lady, they look at it in a negative way and it does depend on other factors as well. but again people dont know the simple things of being in a relationship and its very disappointing...
I believe you guys are spot on with this topic. A great example is the couple, Devale and Khadeen Ellis.
I appreciate the work you all put into these discussions. It definitely helps, so thank you 🙏
It’s a mindset thing . Which I do understand that some are content with where they are and when that person come into a person life and display what a person is not use to , some tend to run away rather than looking at how it could help strengthen their partnership .
wow, this episode was very spot on. I am shocked, never had to recognize the pov you guys explained for us females. Just getting to know and hear the men’s pov about topics, makes me understand men more and more. Always staying intrigued 🙌🏼
Love how y'all break it down. Coming from a woman I learn so much from each of you! New subbie here!
Dang sounds like we all dating the same women lmao
Y’all spoke nothing but facts mayne, O & Duke you got real experience 😅💯
Jalen still in the Honeymoon stage lol
Nice episode 💯
came here for a pod and got a sermon. This was a WORD.
Phew! Great discussion. Definitely learned some things.
I agree with what Duke said. Most women are afraid to hold their friends accountable because they don’t want to bring out an emotional reaction from that friend. There’s nothing worse than trying to be honest with a female friend and she starts acting mean or rude towards you because she doesn’t like hearing the truth. This is the main reason why it’s hard for me to maintain female friendships. I’m very receptive to constructive criticism but some ppl refuse to give that same energy back
Another one of those convos where yall spoke on the mentality of women without a woman present. I rarely hear of men being vulnerable and confiding in their friends but I’m sure it happens. Women do trust other women and confide in them. We tell our girlfriends things we would NEVER tell our man.
Edit: Jalon said a word. And I think the generalization of women by the other two was very telling.
This is such a great conversation but keep in mind women are internally constantly critical of themselves. We know this and that is why we encourage instead. It’s due to hormones and causes diffuse awareness.
Clarity in communication. I knowwww I have failed at this. Especially as it pertains to how I feel (Platonic relationships or romantic). All this time I’ve been saying “I’m picking my battles’ when in reality, I was either accepting poor behavior, or fear of talking about things because I didn’t want to be coined as too emotional… or more importantly, I was afraid to open up and show how vulnerable and open I was feeling (didn’t want to appear feeble). Ugh, let me stop running from the work. Lol
Jalon worded that thang right! That’s it right there ….
This epi is a real gem!
We are not liked And end up loners most of the time because you are the bad guy if you hold them accountable and don’t excuse bad behavior. It’s very rare to find women like that fully accountable 💯 being “too real” is a real thing.
Another great convo! True partnership requires you to clock in everyday. We def have these types of conversations , we can absolutely hold each other accountable way more…we also enable a lot of times too 👀
Love this! Great job 👏🏽!
Me and my one best friend have these conversations often, not everyone though and we hold each other accountable
You guys should have 1 billion views right now
Omar speaks facts!
Appreciated…. One comment that was made was said that women think that are perfect and that maybe we as men think that they are perfect and we don’t. I disagree. I don’t think women think that they are perfect. However they do in general think that they are better in a relationship than you are. So they know they have room for improvement and accountability they just know that by playing the odds men are going to mess up on the surface quicker or at least it presents itself as quicker because of how we get caught doing or saying something. BUT we more often than not accept the truth as it is revealed. On the other hand her short comings never gets a chance to be placed on the table for scrutiny and correction because our shortcomings are always on the table for discussion. It’s a game of sorts. A sad game but a game. Take care guys. ✊🏾
I really enjoyed this episode, there were so many gems shared. Great dialogue, insightful perspective, and thoughtful examples. Gained a deeper understanding on how men move and process things.
One thing I couldn’t relate to was O’s statement about people always doing stuff for you, because you’re a woman. My life experience has been quite the contrary. 😂 I think that statement is not a one size fits all. I also personally appreciate accountability, but believe delivery with respect to tone and tact is important.
These episode opened my perspective so much omg