Jalon is on point with the emotional maturity. Our men are better at suppressing which can come off as "emotional maturity"💯 You're gonna know exactly where the woman stands!😅
Being able to suppress and emotion in the moment is mature to me. You can deal with that energy in a positive way later. Ie working out.. but knowing where someone stands, depending on how they express it can be immature
@@tsmooVe2831 This can go alot of different ways, depending on the situation. And of course TEMPORARILY suppressing emotions in a "heated" argument is emotionally mature in my opinion.
@@princettastovall3204 agreed. I would say this. I think it's more important from an Attraction/safety standpoint, that a man be stoic bc women don't like emotionally erratic men. She can't depend on him. And emotionally erratic men become abusive/school shooters.. however a man does need to release that energy in positive ways..
I followed exactly where Jalon was going. Emotional Stoicism doesn’t necessarily equate to emotional stability and but outside looking in, it can present that way. Love this convo!
This show is so pure and healthy that it’s making me cry from the way God uses yall! It’s SO important! You guys are LITERALLY the first example of a great and genuine man to so many people!
It’s y’all ability to agree to disagree and maneuver the conversation so intelligently. Celebrating y’all’s maturity and seeking to understand versus battling egos.
I believe that growing in emotional stability or emotional intelligence takes maturity and intentionality. I don’t think that It’s a feminine or masculine trait. I believe it’s an adult choosing to let go of childish things (behaviors)
I agree with Duke on men being more emotionally stable. Our menstrual cycle literally disturbs our emotional stability and we have to “fight for our lives” trying to keep our emotions in check. I agree with Jalon saying women are more emotionally mature. We practice our range of emotions more regularly and can “read the room” better than a man and nurse that room back to health.
Women's menstrual cycle doesn't make us any more "unstable" than a man's 24hr cycle. Stop this misogynistic rhetoric that our cycles make us insane. If anything, the ability to stabilize and MANAGE ourselves on a weekly basis illustrates stability. Jeez
Very True, Especially The More Knowledgeable You Become About Your Menstrual Cycle And Realize You Get One Week Every Month Of Stability Because Of Your Cycle
This was an absolutely amazing episode…I’ve been watching silently for a min..but I really appreciate duke and jalon being on opposite ends of a spectrum because I can clearly see both sides
I agree with Jalon especially since I've been with more emotional men (have to navigate in and out of masculine and feminine....go to work and then come home and address emotions with men who don't talk) and I've realized if the shoe was on the other foot, the man wouldn't be able to do it. To live like that, you have to be extremely in tune with their emotions.
JALON TOOK THE WORDS OUT MY MOUTH! Spot on with his response to perceived emotional stability/maturity in men. Patriarchy & toxic masculinity prevent men from experiencing & acknowledging a range of emotions. By definition of emotional maturity, the average man does not have it - simply due to the environment and societal upbringings of young boys/men. Society (the patriarchy) created the idea that "erratic" women, who are really just emotionally expressive, are seemingly emotionally unstable since men and their suppression was the blueprint. Behaviour, based off of the emotions it's made from, can be erratic. Not emotions themselves. Also, men being required to be more emotionally fluid doesn't men he's automatically more emotionally mature/stable, that requires him to be able to maneuvered between the two effectively.
The way Jalon articulated emotional stability and maturity was profound. He explained so eloquently what most women have been try to explain to men for centuries. From a woman’s perspective I 100% understood what he was saying. As a man you might be able to turn off your emotions and function normally but did you also make sure to foster emotional stability in your woman or did you leave her in turmoil wondering what you’re feeling, what did she do wrong etc. because the situation was never addressed.
Jalon hit the nail on the head. The effect of patriarchy hurts both sides. Just my opinion, I don’t believe men are more emotionally stable , just better suppressors, and we all know suppressing doesn’t help anything, it just makes a person a ticking time bomb. I’m enjoying the conversation gentlemen.
Jalon is on point! Emotional stability isn’t being able to “present” as stable in your emotions but in being able to identify and communicate your emotions
Honestly may God protect men like this on this great green earth. This conversation was so beautiful to experience. I’m very proud to see men in such high caliber existing in my time. Can’t say enough good things. Amen 🙏🏽
This really hit home. I had a conversation with my dad the other day about the stress he was under when i was younger. I never knew. He held us down. Getting it done & finding away is how im defining it. Accountability 💯
I also want to say that all people navigate through both feminine and masculine traits. Women are not staying at the extreme of femininity. You have to tap into masculine traits to live in the material world. Ambition, execution, initiation, structuring, leading-all characteristics I think can be categorized as masculine and women embody those daily.
This was a conversation I was just having yesterday about emotional maturity within a relationship. I think this is something that we as a society needs to allow men to feel without shaming them.
Really great episode and conversation! I think Jalon hit the nail on the head regarding women being more emotionally mature. I think the question should be reframed to who is more emotionally mature. Emotional maturity covers emotional stability, as said on the pod. As emotionally stable person is emotionally mature. Outwardly men do seem more emotionally stable. They are socialised to be less expressive when things do not go their way, to keep their cool and problem solve. However, bottling your feelings, disassociating from them can result in negative effects and emotional instability. We can see the extreme consequences of this when observing men’s suicide rates vs women. Women have the language, permission, and support to be more vulnerable and express how they feel. We can cry, be angry and frustrated without harsh judgement. With time and experience I think this enables us to be more emotionally mature, self aware, and stable, in comparison to men.
I honestly had to put this episode down for a bit and pick back up when I felt ready to listen to opinions that I don't agree with. I respectfully disagree with Duke on this stance. I celebrate men who believe they are emotionally stable based on their perspectives on how they may have handled situations differently, from an unstable immature mindset. Emotional stability is a learnt mindset. I love that you guys can own that. I love when Jalon says, an emotionally stable man is bred from a woman that has held him accountable. I also celebrate and honor women who have remained strong in their values and strong in their boundaries to instill standards in their life and the people that are blessed, and are allowed to be apart of their life, even if immature men (that don't want to rise to the occasion) may deem that as irrational. Belittling the boundaries and standards will not phase the strong women, but will hurt the women who have been taught to think their needs are irrational. We need to protect and listen to women, and cater to womens needs, because there are times when we (women) will feel as if we are helpless, and knowing we have more to live for will carry us through those times. Be grateful for the women that have allowed you to be apart of their lives, because it IS a blessing. When we/women feel appreciated, the more we can create and give back exponentially to the real ones. We as women multiply. The unstable men will not and can not acknowledge that. The stable men will and do with pride, and will protect THAT/US at all cost.
This episode was definitely one for the books! Amazing conversation and so many valid points. Definitely understanding the need to leave space for men to be able to fully express their emotions and be positively received when they do.
My wedding is coming up next month and I completely understand Omar and Candice’s decision, I’m in the NYC metro area and we’re almost 60K. The wedding industry is a huge scam, HUGE.
@@Itsshvonedanielle yep, if you have a 150+ person at a nice venue it’s unavoidable. Then everything else is marked up too, bridal makeup from a bridal mua is $1000+ for the brides face only. The industry is a scam.
Covenant is what makes the difference in the relationship even when the only thing that seemingly changed was the last name. ❤ Loved the episode, per usual.
To Dukes point, I’m not sure if men always know how they feel and are just not expressing them by choice. I only share this because of several conversations more recently where men specifically said the words, “ I don’t know what I am feeling” or “I didn’t know what I was feeling.” And attributed it to not having to fully process them in the past. Also when I think of not being able to compose yourself emotionally, I personally think of all of the men who punched a hole in the wall because they were angry, pulled out a gun on someone, hit their woman and to b honest in even dealing with children I have seen way more boys explode and have tantrums than girls. And it is not a productive way of dealing with the emotion being felt.
I agree with Jalon and Duke! What may look like emotional maturity on one man can be his emotional detachment (to Jalon's point) and on another man it can look like I'm managing my emotions in this moment so that I can act with a level head and not make a decision I might regret later (to Duke's point). & Omar was a great example of that on his wedding day! As he expressed there were many things to be emotional about and he could have gotten lost in that, but because he was able to regulate his emotions he made it through to create memories him and his wife will cherish! And I really enjoy how y'all can discuss your differences in opinions in the way that y'all do!
Amazing dialogue becauae u can tell there is a deeper conversation amongst men who have seen masculine energy in 2 different ways growing up finding a balance in what emotional stability means. Growth is all that matters at this point.
This was a good episode. I personally want to learn how to be a little better at expressing my emotions better too. Especially inside my relationship. Sometimes I feel like I’m overly emotional.
This was for sure an episode for the Nice and Neat Hall of Fame. I love that you both were able to have a healthy debate and both had strong arguments. I think in a way you both were saying the same thing but the split came in because emotional maturity and emotional stability were being used interchangeably at some times. I think Duke was trying to get a clear definition of both of them separately. Personally, I would agree with Duke that men are more emotionally stable than women because men have more consistent emotional windows as women go through fluctuations with our hormones that cause us to be very happy one day or even at the beginning of the day and irritable by the end of the day. The change in attitude could have been triggered by something as small as a hair appointment being canceled lol (speaking for myself and women I know) whereas men are far more agile and able to adapt to inconveniences. I agree with Jalon that women are more emotionally mature than men, though. Intuition and empathy are characteristics of femininity, so ideally it is a woman's job to be the emotionally mature partner. The part of our brains that deals with emotion is bigger than that of a man's so we are also biologically more equipped to be emotionally mature. In order to nurture anything, we have to understand their inner workings and ourselves. The roles of men do not require them to have to figure out their emotions. For a woman, it does.
What’s crazy to me is how yall not only continue to have great conversations that rarely overlap (which can be hard to do as a podcaster) but yall literally FLY in EVERY episode 😂
Well, I don't really know what you mean when you say "emotionally mature." However, a quick Google search suggests that's more or less a synonym for "emotional self-regulation." And that's that's the one aspect of emotional intelligence that men actually are higher in than women. Though that's hardly anything to brag about. Men are more emotionally stable and it's way easier to self regulate when you don't feel most emotions as intensely. (Yes, with the exception of anger.) So no. Men are the latter only because they were born lucky enough to be the former as well.
First time watching you all and this was a good show. Healthy dialogue for sure. Men have been conditioned to not talk and “be a man” while women have been supported with expressing their emotions whether it’s bad or good. There should be more men having these type of dialogues. I believe men learn well amongst each other.
This convo was dope; it actually had me looking up the definition of emotion which deals with the individuals instinctive reaction to something. I feel like that’s something totally different in men than it is with women
Ok Duke! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I’m glad he is really breaking this down. Jalon made good points, but honestly, Duke is on point with this one & im glad he’s making sure his point is understood. Jalon is conflating a lot of different terms to prove his point.
Duke proved Jalon's point of "its coming from a patriarchy point of view" by even trying to make it a man vs. woman thing. I agree with Jalon's point because earlier on in the conversation it was settled that for him masculinity wasn't defined by standard ways of doing things "as a man," which Duke mostly used as his argument as to why men are more stable. Duke also deflected on the fact most men are in bad situations like jail because of lack of emotional stable and called it an extreme when its clearly not, and to Jalon's point you can only shut up and keep pushing for only a matter of time. Just because you call it something different don't mean its not the same thing (dangerous=emotionally unstable). Now we can all agree that Black men in specific don't have open space to express emotions but i dont think yall understand the fact that yall barley give it to yourselves, again to Jalon's point of not even knowing how to identify it. Most of the time women lack emotional stability when they aren't heard and understood for their emotions which is all so often, especially when compared to men who don't express themselves at all, so it may seem like they are more stable, but when they do and it results to violence I wouldn't call that emotionally stable.
pls consider inviting @Jason Wilson as a guest. phenomenal & powerful resource in all things man/masculinity centered. rich convo’s & wisdom about the topics you discuss here
I absolutely love this podcast one of my favorite. Congratulations Jalen on the new addition to the family! Congratulations to Omar on your newly wed and the baby on the way and Congratulations Duke on your engagement!!🎉🤞🏾🎊I love to see black men really fall in love. I really enjoy the unique dynamic and how open and transparent you are with each other especially as black men! Keep Going Fellas!!!
Jalon ran circles around these dudes. And dude with the hat on doesn’t know when to throw the towel in. It’s like come on fam you know you not making no sense and your intellect can’t match Jalon’s just give him his flowers and move on because you beating at dead horse doesn’t make you look to good G
This Was One Of Y’all Best Episodes…And That’s Saying A LOT!! The Dialogue Here Was Incredible. All Perspectives Here Were On Point For Their Own Reasons. Jalon Did An Incredible Job Providing Context To His Views…The Word Fluid Was Used A Bit And This Particular Topic Is Very Fluid Which Is Why There Is So Many Ways To Look At It…I Could Of Listened To You Guys Unpack This For Another Hour. Well Done Fellas!
I always learn something new with each episode. I appreciate the vulnerability you all share and aiding me in seeing a male perspective. I feel the better we understand each other (similarities and differences), the better we can work together in relationship. Also congratulations on baby and marriage! Aaaaand just a huge kudos to the collective growth you all have had since the start of this! It’s awesome as a viewer to get to witness this small segment of your life. Keep striving for more, being curious, and sharing your gifts! 🙏🏽
I think Jalon was trying to convey that emotional maturity and stability come from experience with a variety of emotions. Therefore, because women live in their emotions, they are more likely to be emotionally mature and stable by default. It’s easy for Duke to justify his perspective because he is surrounded by men that value and explore emotional intelligence. His bias is not allowing him to account for the majority.
Because men are more logical, yes, generally men are more emotionally stable. But they are not more emotionally mature. Menstrual cycles have a lot to play in a woman’s emotional stability, and adding to that generally women are more emotional than logical, which makes more of an argument that women aren’t as emotionally stable. BUT , Women are more emotionally mature than man, and science has proven that.
I think emotional stability and emotional maturity are mutually exclusive. You can appear emotionally stable and not be emotionally mature. Being able to identify your emotions, label them, feel them, express them, and manage the emotions of people around you is what it means to be emotionally mature. While I agree men tend to be more emotionally stable, women (in general) tend to have higher emotional intelligence than men.
I’m sorry i had to come back, JALON IS PREACHING!!!!!!! Also Duke, unfortunately those aren’t extremes women are being harmed by men daily. Whether it’s busting a window or it’s taking advantage financially. Women have a bunch safety measures they do when going out in dates with men because of what can and has been happening.
This was a heated conversation but my conclusion is neither a man or woman is emotionally stable its up to the individual. I generally love how each person presented their opinion ya'll the best Podcast and male podcast ❤❤❤
I’m newly single and decided to sign up for a couple of dating apps and one of the top things I noticed most guys look for in a woman is humor and being able to communicate. Seems simple. This may be a silly question but can one reinvent themselves in a way that they’re funnier, more personable and/or have better communication? Outside of my ex husband, I’ve never really hung around men nor do I have male friends or family members so it’s now that I’m single I realize I have a hard time holding a conversation because I don’t have any common interests that most men tend to have nor am I comical. I have other aspects of me that’s great like hardworking, loyal, etc but that’s not enough to hold a conversation.
I'd like to point out that the appearance of masculinity has changed over the ages and is largely based on the times and location. Once upon a time, it was men who were wearing powder and makeup on their faces with wigs and ruffles and knee-high socks with heeled shoes.... So simply looking around and seeing what's most common isn't necessarily the best way to determine something like that, in my opinion.
This was Good! I think both of yall was on point. I feel like we reach Emotional Stability ( regardless if its men or women, you can funnel it down after understanding the broadness of it) when we are able to have Emotional Intelligence. The ability to identify the emotion , how you want to react vs whats the best reaction for right now, when or if its a good time to speak etc. can help us find stability in our emotions other wise it does lead to those extremes of uncontrolled anger or passive aggression. so its like the stability is in the maturity. maybe they have to co-exists? just keeping the conviction going lol. Great conversation guys! 💚
Think the word you guys are really referring to is emotional awareness; Being able to define and identify the emotions; emotional intelligence comes with being able to communicate the emotions effecetively
What’s crazy is I think both Jalon and Duke were right. I do feel like women feed into their emotions more so then men do. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “you’re just being emotional”. This is where I lean more into what Duke was saying because for anything I feel passionate about with our kids, I definitely depend on my husband’s point of view because he can take emotions out of it and be more so on the logical side. Overall I think it’s a balance between both genders. There are men that live in their emotions more than women and the reverse. I also believe that when you are in a relationship you often times have how you need to be in a situation based on how your partner is reacting to something. Overall great episode! I think that you both were right.
I think it’s worth noting that this discussion should be revisited a few years after you guys have had children. The way a baby and then child forces you to stretch and have to tap into your softer understanding side as a man is insane. I’ve watched my husband grow in ways emotionally I don’t think would have ever happened otherwise. To be honest, men usually have the LUXURY of not having to stretch that part of them up until that part. Women are taught to work that muscle more on top or having major hormonal changes all month. Anyway, great topic guys.
I think you guys are awesome. I hope you continue the necessary conversations, because those coming up behind you, don't have a clue about these important personal, professional, financial and family life issues. My exposure to the youth, in many different areas is more entitlement or settling in life for whatever reasons. No father in the house, or the father in house but a very poor example of a decent man. From my experiences, and women before me, women kept it all together. The house, bills, children, jobs, cooking, cleaning, emotions, etc. I personally elevated myself from a $6,000 job to corporate america earning $160,000 and never lost my integrity or respect in the process, and go home and handle all the responsibilities I mentioned above and more. I'm not saying it was easy, but because you're a male, white, or blond and blue eyes, or have a title doesn't mean you are better than, have special right/control, permission, etc. to condescend, be unprofessional or just treat me less than. There's a difference between emotional stability and emotional control. All men and women want to have a partner, and each person comes to the table with different characteristics, and learn from each other rather than let ego and pride take over. There's more division instead of unity. People have their selfish priorities as number one, when we're all equal and should work for the success of each other rather than sabotaging. Listen, you learn something everyday, take in what's for you and leave the rest aside. Only God knows all and is all things, stay humble and out of self, we're humans faced with conflicts and confusions, which will provide us lessons. Everybody's journey is different, and we may agree to disagree in actuality saying the same thing in different ways. You guys are a blessing and I pray for abundance in your endeavors in life.
I lovedddd this convo ! I 100% agree with Jalon but I think he was more so focused on maturity, where as Duke was more focused on stability. Duke also asked why men wouldn’t be deemed as more stable due to their requirement of fluidity… I would say b/c most men have not mastered how to Be fluid , they stick to shutting down and not expressing their emotions which make them less mature… and think that’s what Jalon was alluding to .
Emotional maturity means having the self-control to manage your emotions and work to understand them. Emotional stability is the capacity to maintain ones emotional balance under stressful circumstances.
This was an interesting topic to hear from a male perspective. I dont feel men are more emotionally stable, it just seems that way because you guys don't express your emotions around your counterparts. Men hide their feelings where as women feel more comfortable expressing theirs.
Jalon is on point with the emotional maturity. Our men are better at suppressing which can come off as "emotional maturity"💯 You're gonna know exactly where the woman stands!😅
Being able to suppress and emotion in the moment is mature to me. You can deal with that energy in a positive way later. Ie working out.. but knowing where someone stands, depending on how they express it can be immature
@@tsmooVe2831 This can go alot of different ways, depending on the situation. And of course TEMPORARILY suppressing emotions in a "heated" argument is emotionally mature in my opinion.
@@princettastovall3204 agreed. I would say this. I think it's more important from an Attraction/safety standpoint, that a man be stoic bc women don't like emotionally erratic men. She can't depend on him. And emotionally erratic men become abusive/school shooters.. however a man does need to release that energy in positive ways..
@@tsmooVe2831🎉😊😅😅😅😅😊
I followed exactly where Jalon was going. Emotional Stoicism doesn’t necessarily equate to emotional stability and but outside looking in, it can present that way. Love this convo!
This show is so pure and healthy that it’s making me cry from the way God uses yall! It’s SO important! You guys are LITERALLY the first example of a great and genuine man to so many people!
Yesssss
It’s y’all ability to agree to disagree and maneuver the conversation so intelligently. Celebrating y’all’s maturity and seeking to understand versus battling egos.
🥃🥃🥃
I believe that growing in emotional stability or emotional intelligence takes maturity and intentionality. I don’t think that It’s a feminine or masculine trait. I believe it’s an adult choosing to let go of childish things (behaviors)
This is so true, it takes a mental shift to be able to acknowledge those childish behaviors and break those habits.
I agree with Duke on men being more emotionally stable. Our menstrual cycle literally disturbs our emotional stability and we have to “fight for our lives” trying to keep our emotions in check. I agree with Jalon saying women are more emotionally mature. We practice our range of emotions more regularly and can “read the room” better than a man and nurse that room back to health.
Women's menstrual cycle doesn't make us any more "unstable" than a man's 24hr cycle. Stop this misogynistic rhetoric that our cycles make us insane. If anything, the ability to stabilize and MANAGE ourselves on a weekly basis illustrates stability. Jeez
Very True, Especially The More Knowledgeable You Become About Your Menstrual Cycle And Realize You Get One Week Every Month Of Stability Because Of Your Cycle
Jalon's POV is always so interesting to me and it's refreshing and it's always great to hear differing perspectives between a group of friends.
Jalon is the example emotional stability … divergent in thinking! Space for empathy & for logic reasoning ! Love this conversation
Your words perfectly express my thoughts about his take on this topic.
This was an absolutely amazing episode…I’ve been watching silently for a min..but I really appreciate duke and jalon being on opposite ends of a spectrum because I can clearly see both sides
I agree with Jalon especially since I've been with more emotional men (have to navigate in and out of masculine and feminine....go to work and then come home and address emotions with men who don't talk) and I've realized if the shoe was on the other foot, the man wouldn't be able to do it. To live like that, you have to be extremely in tune with their emotions.
JALON TOOK THE WORDS OUT MY MOUTH! Spot on with his response to perceived emotional stability/maturity in men. Patriarchy & toxic masculinity prevent men from experiencing & acknowledging a range of emotions. By definition of emotional maturity, the average man does not have it - simply due to the environment and societal upbringings of young boys/men. Society (the patriarchy) created the idea that "erratic" women, who are really just emotionally expressive, are seemingly emotionally unstable since men and their suppression was the blueprint. Behaviour, based off of the emotions it's made from, can be erratic. Not emotions themselves.
Also, men being required to be more emotionally fluid doesn't men he's automatically more emotionally mature/stable, that requires him to be able to maneuvered between the two effectively.
I'm loving Jalon with the pushback on Duke's reasoning. He was spot on.
Spot on!
@@Tx_Nay I felt like Duke was committed to misunderstanding him for the sake of being right.
Facts
When he said they LIVE there! I screamed bc he broke it ALLLLL THE WAY DOWN!! They both had great points! Great episode!
The way Jalon articulated emotional stability and maturity was profound. He explained so eloquently what most women have been try to explain to men for centuries. From a woman’s perspective I 100% understood what he was saying. As a man you might be able to turn off your emotions and function normally but did you also make sure to foster emotional stability in your woman or did you leave her in turmoil wondering what you’re feeling, what did she do wrong etc. because the situation was never addressed.
Jalon hit the nail on the head. The effect of patriarchy hurts both sides. Just my opinion, I don’t believe men are more emotionally stable , just better suppressors, and we all know suppressing doesn’t help anything, it just makes a person a ticking time bomb. I’m enjoying the conversation gentlemen.
Jalon is on point! Emotional stability isn’t being able to “present” as stable in your emotions but in being able to identify and communicate your emotions
Honestly may God protect men like this on this great green earth. This conversation was so beautiful to experience. I’m very proud to see men in such high caliber existing in my time. Can’t say enough good things. Amen 🙏🏽
Come on Jalon 👏🏽👏🏽 you’re so on point in this convo!!
This really hit home. I had a conversation with my dad the other day about the stress he was under when i was younger. I never knew. He held us down. Getting it done & finding away is how im defining it. Accountability 💯
Men’s emotional instability is more destructive and harmful tho
They all agreed on that, because women are more dangerous. No man is afraid of a woman
I also want to say that all people navigate through both feminine and masculine traits. Women are not staying at the extreme of femininity. You have to tap into masculine traits to live in the material world. Ambition, execution, initiation, structuring, leading-all characteristics I think can be categorized as masculine and women embody those daily.
100%!
This was a conversation I was just having yesterday about emotional maturity within a relationship. I think this is something that we as a society needs to allow men to feel without shaming them.
Happy to have you guys back! Great discussion as usual. Congrats on all the new milestones, we LOVE to see it!
Really great episode and conversation! I think Jalon hit the nail on the head regarding women being more emotionally mature. I think the question should be reframed to who is more emotionally mature.
Emotional maturity covers emotional stability, as said on the pod. As emotionally stable person is emotionally mature. Outwardly men do seem more emotionally stable. They are socialised to be less expressive when things do not go their way, to keep their cool and problem solve. However, bottling your feelings, disassociating from them can result in negative effects and emotional instability. We can see the extreme consequences of this when observing men’s suicide rates vs women. Women have the language, permission, and support to be more vulnerable and express how they feel. We can cry, be angry and frustrated without harsh judgement. With time and experience I think this enables us to be more emotionally mature, self aware, and stable, in comparison to men.
I honestly had to put this episode down for a bit and pick back up when I felt ready to listen to opinions that I don't agree with.
I respectfully disagree with Duke on this stance. I celebrate men who believe they are emotionally stable based on their perspectives on how they may have handled situations differently, from an unstable immature mindset. Emotional stability is a learnt mindset. I love that you guys can own that.
I love when Jalon says, an emotionally stable man is bred from a woman that has held him accountable.
I also celebrate and honor women who have remained strong in their values and strong in their boundaries to instill standards in their life and the people that are blessed, and are allowed to be apart of their life, even if immature men (that don't want to rise to the occasion) may deem that as irrational.
Belittling the boundaries and standards will not phase the strong women, but will hurt the women who have been taught to think their needs are irrational.
We need to protect and listen to women, and cater to womens needs, because there are times when we (women) will feel as if we are helpless, and knowing we have more to live for will carry us through those times.
Be grateful for the women that have allowed you to be apart of their lives, because it IS a blessing. When we/women feel appreciated, the more we can create and give back exponentially to the real ones. We as women multiply. The unstable men will not and can not acknowledge that. The stable men will and do with pride, and will protect THAT/US at all cost.
jalon was so on point with the "patriarchal view point"
This episode was definitely one for the books! Amazing conversation and so many valid points. Definitely understanding the need to leave space for men to be able to fully express their emotions and be positively received when they do.
My wedding is coming up next month and I completely understand Omar and Candice’s decision, I’m in the NYC metro area and we’re almost 60K. The wedding industry is a huge scam, HUGE.
60K😮 Ma’am what
@@Itsshvonedanielle yep, if you have a 150+ person at a nice venue it’s unavoidable. Then everything else is marked up too, bridal makeup from a bridal mua is $1000+ for the brides face only. The industry is a scam.
@@Mimi8402 oh wow, that’s crazy insane. I think I’ll remove some stuff off my Pinterest board. 😂
Covenant is what makes the difference in the relationship even when the only thing that seemingly changed was the last name. ❤ Loved the episode, per usual.
To Dukes point, I’m not sure if men always know how they feel and are just not expressing them by choice. I only share this because of several conversations more recently where men specifically said the words, “ I don’t know what I am feeling” or “I didn’t know what I was feeling.” And attributed it to not having to fully process them in the past.
Also when I think of not being able to compose yourself emotionally, I personally think of all of the men who punched a hole in the wall because they were angry, pulled out a gun on someone, hit their woman and to b honest in even dealing with children I have seen way more boys explode and have tantrums than girls. And it is not a productive way of dealing with the emotion being felt.
Emotional intelligence includes awareness (feminine) and regulation (masculine) and empathy(neutral).
I agree with Jalon and Duke! What may look like emotional maturity on one man can be his emotional detachment (to Jalon's point) and on another man it can look like I'm managing my emotions in this moment so that I can act with a level head and not make a decision I might regret later (to Duke's point). & Omar was a great example of that on his wedding day! As he expressed there were many things to be emotional about and he could have gotten lost in that, but because he was able to regulate his emotions he made it through to create memories him and his wife will cherish! And I really enjoy how y'all can discuss your differences in opinions in the way that y'all do!
Love this conversation for all of you. This is not a conversation of mature men that I personally see everyday. I'm proud there are men like you all.
I actually love the ceremony being small & intimate, but having a reception with loved ones to celebrate the union.
Amazing dialogue becauae u can tell there is a deeper conversation amongst men who have seen masculine energy in 2 different ways growing up finding a balance in what emotional stability means. Growth is all that matters at this point.
Haven’t even finished the video, just wanted to say this was nice to wake up to! Great start to my day ☀️ Thanks guys!!
Finallyyyyy!! Good Convo, me and my man talk forever about this topic .. sometimes it gets heated 😂😂😂 but I clearly agree with Jalon
This was a good episode. I personally want to learn how to be a little better at expressing my emotions better too. Especially inside my relationship. Sometimes I feel like I’m overly emotional.
When emotional stability and emotional security is defined, it gives better context on how it shows up in a male vs a female! 😎 Great conversation!
Been tuning in for a minute & the authenticity y’all present is amazing.
This was for sure an episode for the Nice and Neat Hall of Fame. I love that you both were able to have a healthy debate and both had strong arguments. I think in a way you both were saying the same thing but the split came in because emotional maturity and emotional stability were being used interchangeably at some times. I think Duke was trying to get a clear definition of both of them separately. Personally, I would agree with Duke that men are more emotionally stable than women because men have more consistent emotional windows as women go through fluctuations with our hormones that cause us to be very happy one day or even at the beginning of the day and irritable by the end of the day. The change in attitude could have been triggered by something as small as a hair appointment being canceled lol (speaking for myself and women I know) whereas men are far more agile and able to adapt to inconveniences. I agree with Jalon that women are more emotionally mature than men, though. Intuition and empathy are characteristics of femininity, so ideally it is a woman's job to be the emotionally mature partner. The part of our brains that deals with emotion is bigger than that of a man's so we are also biologically more equipped to be emotionally mature. In order to nurture anything, we have to understand their inner workings and ourselves. The roles of men do not require them to have to figure out their emotions. For a woman, it does.
Fact
What’s crazy to me is how yall not only continue to have great conversations that rarely overlap (which can be hard to do as a podcaster) but yall literally FLY in EVERY episode 😂
I feel men are more emotionally stable and women are more emotionally mature.
Agreed
Well, I don't really know what you mean when you say "emotionally mature." However, a quick Google search suggests that's more or less a synonym for "emotional self-regulation." And that's that's the one aspect of emotional intelligence that men actually are higher in than women. Though that's hardly anything to brag about. Men are more emotionally stable and it's way easier to self regulate when you don't feel most emotions as intensely. (Yes, with the exception of anger.)
So no. Men are the latter only because they were born lucky enough to be the former as well.
First time watching you all and this was a good show. Healthy dialogue for sure. Men have been conditioned to not talk and “be a man” while women have been supported with expressing their emotions whether it’s bad or good. There should be more men having these type of dialogues. I believe men learn well amongst each other.
Deep convo on this one! I’m 26 years old and I always come here to get free game and a jump on relationship and life advice
This convo was dope; it actually had me looking up the definition of emotion which deals with the individuals instinctive reaction to something. I feel like that’s something totally different in men than it is with women
the current state of the world with wars, etc tells me that men will never be more emotionally mature and stable than women
Ok Duke! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I’m glad he is really breaking this down. Jalon made good points, but honestly, Duke is on point with this one & im glad he’s making sure his point is understood. Jalon is conflating a lot of different terms to prove his point.
Jalon is always on point!!!
I love the back and forth, great conversation!!!🤎🤎🤎
I would love to see a Part 2 of this conversation.
Happy to see you all nice and neat🙏🏽🫶🏾
Duke proved Jalon's point of "its coming from a patriarchy point of view" by even trying to make it a man vs. woman thing. I agree with Jalon's point because earlier on in the conversation it was settled that for him masculinity wasn't defined by standard ways of doing things "as a man," which Duke mostly used as his argument as to why men are more stable. Duke also deflected on the fact most men are in bad situations like jail because of lack of emotional stable and called it an extreme when its clearly not, and to Jalon's point you can only shut up and keep pushing for only a matter of time. Just because you call it something different don't mean its not the same thing (dangerous=emotionally unstable). Now we can all agree that Black men in specific don't have open space to express emotions but i dont think yall understand the fact that yall barley give it to yourselves, again to Jalon's point of not even knowing how to identify it. Most of the time women lack emotional stability when they aren't heard and understood for their emotions which is all so often, especially when compared to men who don't express themselves at all, so it may seem like they are more stable, but when they do and it results to violence I wouldn't call that emotionally stable.
Men kill women for saying no, that cannot be emotional stability.
pls consider inviting @Jason Wilson as a guest. phenomenal & powerful resource in all things man/masculinity centered. rich convo’s & wisdom about the topics you discuss here
I absolutely love this podcast one of my favorite. Congratulations Jalen on the new addition to the family! Congratulations to Omar on your newly wed and the baby on the way and Congratulations Duke on your engagement!!🎉🤞🏾🎊I love to see black men really fall in love. I really enjoy the unique dynamic and how open and transparent you are with each other especially as black men! Keep Going Fellas!!!
This is such a timely discussion! Keep pushing!
I feel like Duke can’t just be wrong 😂😂
It seems like Duke sees masculine as a posture and jalon sees it as a position
Interesting can you please elaborate
I just would like to understand what the difference between posture and position means in that sense
AYE THE GUYS BACK!!! 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾 been missing the content fellas! Also CONGRATS OMAR!
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I'm always amazed by the depth of your conversations, I just want to say that you guys are really inspiring to both men and women out there!
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Jalon 🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾🫡🫡🫡 Spitting facts!!!!
Jalon ran circles around these dudes. And dude with the hat on doesn’t know when to throw the towel in. It’s like come on fam you know you not making no sense and your intellect can’t match Jalon’s just give him his flowers and move on because you beating at dead horse doesn’t make you look to good G
This Was One Of Y’all Best Episodes…And That’s Saying A LOT!! The Dialogue Here Was Incredible. All Perspectives Here Were On Point For Their Own Reasons. Jalon Did An Incredible Job Providing Context To His Views…The Word Fluid Was Used A Bit And This Particular Topic Is Very Fluid Which Is Why There Is So Many Ways To Look At It…I Could Of Listened To You Guys Unpack This For Another Hour. Well Done Fellas!
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I always learn something new with each episode. I appreciate the vulnerability you all share and aiding me in seeing a male perspective. I feel the better we understand each other (similarities and differences), the better we can work together in relationship. Also congratulations on baby and marriage! Aaaaand just a huge kudos to the collective growth you all have had since the start of this! It’s awesome as a viewer to get to witness this small segment of your life. Keep striving for more, being curious, and sharing your gifts! 🙏🏽
Such a great episode!
I think Jalon was trying to convey that emotional maturity and stability come from experience with a variety of emotions. Therefore, because women live in their emotions, they are more likely to be emotionally mature and stable by default.
It’s easy for Duke to justify his perspective because he is surrounded by men that value and explore emotional intelligence. His bias is not allowing him to account for the majority.
Great conversation. Loved it
This was a very beautiful and nuanced conversation.
Very great conversation and perspectives from u both
We freaking missed ya'lll.. I knew you'd post any moment now!! ❤
Because men are more logical, yes, generally men are more emotionally stable. But they are not more emotionally mature. Menstrual cycles have a lot to play in a woman’s emotional stability, and adding to that generally women are more emotional than logical, which makes more of an argument that women aren’t as emotionally stable.
BUT , Women are more emotionally mature than man, and science has proven that.
Men aren't more logical, in the slightest.
The amount of stank faces I did cuz y’all just kept spittin !
What an amazing comeback episode 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
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This is a healthy podcast. I love it
Yay!!!! Y’all are back ❤❤❤
I think emotional stability and emotional maturity are mutually exclusive. You can appear emotionally stable and not be emotionally mature. Being able to identify your emotions, label them, feel them, express them, and manage the emotions of people around you is what it means to be emotionally mature. While I agree men tend to be more emotionally stable, women (in general) tend to have higher emotional intelligence than men.
I’m sorry i had to come back, JALON IS PREACHING!!!!!!!
Also Duke, unfortunately those aren’t extremes women are being harmed by men daily. Whether it’s busting a window or it’s taking advantage financially. Women have a bunch safety measures they do when going out in dates with men because of what can and has been happening.
This was a heated conversation but my conclusion is neither a man or woman is emotionally stable its up to the individual. I generally love how each person presented their opinion ya'll the best Podcast and male podcast ❤❤❤
Jalon gets it.
Wow. This episode will do so much for the people. 10/10 for me
I’m newly single and decided to sign up for a couple of dating apps and one of the top things I noticed most guys look for in a woman is humor and being able to communicate. Seems simple. This may be a silly question but can one reinvent themselves in a way that they’re funnier, more personable and/or have better communication? Outside of my ex husband, I’ve never really hung around men nor do I have male friends or family members so it’s now that I’m single I realize I have a hard time holding a conversation because I don’t have any common interests that most men tend to have nor am I comical. I have other aspects of me that’s great like hardworking, loyal, etc but that’s not enough to hold a conversation.
I'd like to point out that the appearance of masculinity has changed over the ages and is largely based on the times and location. Once upon a time, it was men who were wearing powder and makeup on their faces with wigs and ruffles and knee-high socks with heeled shoes.... So simply looking around and seeing what's most common isn't necessarily the best way to determine something like that, in my opinion.
That song in the intro fire 🔥🔥
This was Good! I think both of yall was on point. I feel like we reach Emotional Stability ( regardless if its men or women, you can funnel it down after understanding the broadness of it) when we are able to have Emotional Intelligence. The ability to identify the emotion , how you want to react vs whats the best reaction for right now, when or if its a good time to speak etc. can help us find stability in our emotions other wise it does lead to those extremes of uncontrolled anger or passive aggression. so its like the stability is in the maturity. maybe they have to co-exists? just keeping the conviction going lol.
Great conversation guys! 💚
Think the word you guys are really referring to is emotional awareness; Being able to define and identify the emotions; emotional intelligence comes with being able to communicate the emotions effecetively
decision making for US is the best part for both
WE MISSED YOU GUYS!!❤
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I used to process the incident reports at a law enforcement agency. I can show you that men are way more emotional than women. 😒
What’s crazy is I think both Jalon and Duke were right. I do feel like women feed into their emotions more so then men do. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “you’re just being emotional”. This is where I lean more into what Duke was saying because for anything I feel passionate about with our kids, I definitely depend on my husband’s point of view because he can take emotions out of it and be more so on the logical side. Overall I think it’s a balance between both genders. There are men that live in their emotions more than women and the reverse. I also believe that when you are in a relationship you often times have how you need to be in a situation based on how your partner is reacting to something. Overall great episode! I think that you both were right.
Duke wants to be right so bad 😂!… be in common ground isn’t the point is it.?I understand Dukes points tho but he got me rolling this time
He's very strong minded but I believe he was very open and accepting of Jaylon's views.
I’m dead because i was thinking the same 😂
I think it’s worth noting that this discussion should be revisited a few years after you guys have had children. The way a baby and then child forces you to stretch and have to tap into your softer understanding side as a man is insane. I’ve watched my husband grow in ways emotionally I don’t think would have ever happened otherwise. To be honest, men usually have the LUXURY of not having to stretch that part of them up until that part. Women are taught to work that muscle more on top or having major hormonal changes all month. Anyway, great topic guys.
I missed y’all🥺🥳
I think you guys are awesome. I hope you continue the necessary conversations, because those coming up behind you, don't have a clue about these important personal, professional, financial and family life issues. My exposure to the youth, in many different areas is more entitlement or settling in life for whatever reasons. No father in the house, or the father in house but a very poor example of a decent man. From my experiences, and women before me, women kept it all together. The house, bills, children, jobs, cooking, cleaning, emotions, etc. I personally elevated myself from a $6,000 job to corporate america earning $160,000 and never lost my integrity or respect in the process, and go home and handle all the responsibilities I mentioned above and more. I'm not saying it was easy, but because you're a male, white, or blond and blue eyes, or have a title doesn't mean you are better than, have special right/control, permission, etc. to condescend, be unprofessional or just treat me less than. There's a difference between emotional stability and emotional control. All men and women want to have a partner, and each person comes to the table with different characteristics, and learn from each other rather than let ego and pride take over. There's more division instead of unity. People have their selfish priorities as number one, when we're all equal and should work for the success of each other rather than sabotaging. Listen, you learn something everyday, take in what's for you and leave the rest aside. Only God knows all and is all things, stay humble and out of self, we're humans faced with conflicts and confusions, which will provide us lessons. Everybody's journey is different, and we may agree to disagree in actuality saying the same thing in different ways. You guys are a blessing and I pray for abundance in your endeavors in life.
Well said Jalon
I lovedddd this convo ! I 100% agree with Jalon but I think he was more so focused on maturity, where as Duke was more focused on stability. Duke also asked why men wouldn’t be deemed as more stable due to their requirement of fluidity… I would say b/c most men have not mastered how to
Be fluid , they stick to shutting down and not expressing their emotions which make them less mature… and think that’s what Jalon was alluding to .
Emotional maturity means having the self-control to manage your emotions and work to understand them.
Emotional stability is the capacity to maintain ones emotional balance under stressful circumstances.
Duke did his big one in this one
Finally I missed you guys 🥲🤍🤍
Men are more emotional thN than women. Men will hold onto things for years and never let it go. Women know how let things go faster than a man.
This was an interesting topic to hear from a male perspective. I dont feel men are more emotionally stable, it just seems that way because you guys don't express your emotions around your counterparts. Men hide their feelings where as women feel more comfortable expressing theirs.
Silence/evading doesn’t equate to intelligence
Bae, do the little dance ! Lol
So cute