A trick I used when my kids were little was to take half their toys and put them in the attic. When I got them back out a few months later, they seemed new and exciting. If you have a place to store some of your clothes, they might give you that same feeling of newness and excitement.
I have been using a day of the week to use my favorite things and style them different. I love turquoise jewelry and have thrifted lots over the years. Every Tuesday I style my turquoise jewelry and every Sunday I challenge myself to wear a skirt or dress. This gives me a creative outlet and I feel rewarded for using old things that I already have and know I love.
I love this idea ❤ I always say I'm gonna wear my favourite things more, but life gets so busy and I just keep reaching for the convenient thinking I'll do it next time, which of course never happens.. this is great ❤
So much food for thought with this topic, ladies! I’m in my fifties and three years ago I realized that many of my clothes were either too youthful or were no longer me. I set out to revamp my wardrobe and sold or gifted about 50% of my wardrobe (about half of the new items I purchased were pre-loved). I did become consumed for a while with that chase for “the perfect wardrobe,” and was always on to the search for the next perfect thing. Here are a couple of things I’ve discovered and a few things I now do: 1) I discovered that I experience the same dopamine hit from decluttering that I do from shopping. Does anyone else experience that? As I have reduced the overall size of my wardrobe, I know that the remaining items are things I love and that look great, and that makes me excited. It is easier to get dressed. 2) Excluding workout gear, I make sure that anything I buy now is timeless enough that I’ll want to wear it when I’m 80. My clothes are not disposable. I do still fall sometimes for buying for my fantasy self (I still love beautiful party dresses, which I don’t wear as often as I used to), but I indulge this, as the dresses make me feel joyful when I wear them, and I’ll sometimes play dress up. It is true, though, as Alyssa mentioned, that the “busyness” of shopping, social media, TV, etc. is for many a distraction from sitting with our feelings, acknowledging them, getting to know ourselves, and forging connections with others. Things are meant to serve us, not vice-versa, but we have a lot of programming hard-wired into us. However, the soul loves to play and create, and the more we foster this, the more joy we will find in life, and in the possessions we already have.
I am 58 and it has taken me years to work out my style and I am still not sure 100%. I prefer simple clean lines and have a love affair going on with linen. I have kept a few of my bohemian style dresses because I still look good in them and I paid too much money to send them away. I also go up and down in weight alot thanks to illness and stress so it's not viable to completely start from scratch every few years
After working on the habit of shopping my closet( thank you ladies!!!), the only thing that moves me towards shopping is shoes (conscious updates) and thrift finds . They imediately give that twist on what I already have (and it’s too much as a former fashion designer). I love fashion and beautiful things, and will forever. So the urge of decluttering (I did well, but NOT as much I thought I could )….That was pain… and I gave up because I love to rework garments with creativity… upcycling them. Getting rid of so much because of the guilt of having too much started feeling like punishment and this was not my goal.
SOOOOOOOOO many gems in this. Wanting to be the "cool girl," the dopamine hits, boredoms impact on scrolling. Thank you for normalizing our feelings, being vulnerable, and giving tools for us to sloooooowwwww doooowwwnnnnn.
I find the openwardrobe app is pretty good to remind me what pieces of clothing I havent been wearing and i make a point to wear it. Also sometimes we think we have a gap and that gap need to be filled by a piece of clothing when actually that gap can just be filled by an accessories like a new belt in a different colour. I find just changing the colour of my belt can make a big difference and impact.
I feel like I’ve been forced into a low buy situation these past few years. First the high rise trend did not work for this short torso gal. Then lately when I’ve been shopping I find the quality of clothing is so poor compared to what I have in my closet I just won’t pull the trigger.
Thanks for the podcast, it was very nice. I, after years of working in fashion and having too many clothes, realized that I hate the first time I wear something new. I feel uncomfortable, observed and awkward. If I have to do something important I always prefer to use something old and tested. In fact, the things I love most are often old and maybe broken erammended by my mom but they make me feel my best. The Japanese concept of wasi tabi is the opposite of always wanting something new but in my opinion besides being sustainable the history and flaws of a garment are what over time make it so valuable and trusted
Book suggestion “The hacking of the American mind “ by Robert Lustig MD is an informative easy read Covers the dopamine & other pathways used with rewarding activities like shopping. ( ….eating, gambling, drugs ) great ideas how to change your patterns. Also covers how it’s not your fault - the system is pretty rigged, explains why it is so hard to resist. You might love this one Alyssa & Christina 💕
Your generosity blows me away. You are helping so many of us consume less and more carefully which is the ultimate in kindness to ourselves and our planet. Just brilliant, thank you so much ❤
Great video!! I am purposely wearing clothes from my closet that I haven’t worn in awhile (or ever). Need to wear them to decide if I want to keep them. I definitely go clothes shopping for the dopamine hit. It’s also the thrill of the hunt since I get most of my clothes from thrift stores.
Wow, this episode almost felt spiritual in nature! So many good things and even addressing the holistic self and how we project things like homesickness or loneliness onto needing to fill a hole in our wardrobe. I'm in a tricky place with being postpartum and nursing and how different my body looks right now... all my clothing feels awkward and weird and I just want to burn it all down and start over! But really I could be looking at this as an opportunity to come up with new combinations and exploring what I want my style to actually be. So thank you for that!
I did the 75 “hard” style challenge this year but I did a lighter version 😊 Even though the challenge has been over for a while, I’m enjoying the same practices daily… I actively try to pick things I haven’t worn in a long time and/or being really intentional with outfits and styling. I’m an avid thrifter and continue to add to my collection, but I’m getting way better at saying NO and not grabbing “well that could work pieces.” Also really leaning into my signature pieces has been really fun for me!! Thanks ladies I really enjoy your discussions and discourse 😘
I love the 3 of you and unfortunately have also started following some other amazing ladies on you tube and IG. I say unfortunately because I find myself wanting to shop even more than before😅🤦🏻♀️ when there is a great sponsor or I see something that I “need” in my wardrobe. Every time I tell myself this is the last thing I need to complete my wardrobe but there is always one more thing! I obsess about it for weeks and then usually give in, especially if it goes on sale. Might need a you tube break… started a habit tracking app to help me track my shopping days, non shopping days, notes on why I did or didn’t buy and what I was feeling etc
So interesting you mentioned how with restraint comes creativity - I just listened to a podcast from Dawn the Minimal Mom,…and she mentioned a similar concept with too many kids toys,…with some boundaries or having less, it actually encourages creativity. Sounds like a principle we can use in so many aspects of our lives, even too much social media consumption
I retired last year i finally know about my body type i didn't know that im wearing a wrong styles it's a hit and miss .Watching you 3 and others influencers i learned a lot I'm 64 years old everyday that i dress I'm loving it now i have my signature outfits ❤
Following all 3 of you and this podcast has helped me to realize that not only have I been buying for the thrill of finding the perfect item at the best deal, but also to fulfill my quest for my fantasy self. This might mean purchasing smart attire, or that perfect piece to make me look like the person wearing it. Unfortunately, neither of those reasons are the right reason. First, I haven't worked in an office for more than 10 years now, and since Covid, most of my clients work with me virtually. Nice tops are about all I really need and then not so many. Additionally, I am 61 and midsized. Nothing I purchase is going to make me look like a 30-something size 6. Christina, I so can relate to you. I too was a shopaholic turning minimalist-ish (love this!). And Signe, I love your soft, edgy, and classic style. I too love color and am a redhead that falls between a medium bright spring and autumn. I use your styling as inspiration. Alyssa, you are so striking and have helped me to look at why I purchase in a different way. I am having fun using elements of style to build outfits with what I already have. I can't get enough of your content and wished you published more frequently. I just recently purchased a full size mirror to help me style what I already own better as I become more comfortable with the skin I am in. I think that more than the dopamine spike from the thrill of the "kill" (the good deal), my purchases were to look like the model wearing it even though I knew that was not going to happen. Thank you for helping me to realize this. I am decluttering by consigning and donating to a local church as well as to a local thrift shop (if the item is not consignment worthy). I have also slowed down my purchases by being more conscientious, working from a very short list and with less trend chasing. My 3-ish words (right now) are "casual, effortless & chic, and confident" and have definitely helped this cause. BTW, I am working on a "low buy season". Can't quite commit to "no buy" yet. Maybe next spring.
All your points are well taken, thank you! Now that I am retired, I have more time (that is key) to focus on my wardrobe and I can see how I am able to focus on being creative with the clothes that I have rather than hurrying and giving way to any impulsive buying. The rewards on creativity, less spending, and more control on your life are definitely more satisfying and a great source of dopamine, by far superior to that quick rush provided by a purchase that is impulsive, most likely problematic (ill fitting, not a great match with the rest of your clothes and / or your lifestyle, etc.) and a source of guilt (waste of time and money). Thanks to your very inspiring videos, I have found that setting aside a limited harmonious capsule (12 to 15 pieces) from my existing wardrobe every few weeks (according to the changes in the weather mostly but also to my moods -I love colors) I can find joy in getting dressed every day. Setting limits to your clothes selection does indeed booster creativity. I love my clothes.! An interesting and possible future topic: accessories...
On the topic of dopamine, I've heard that the opposite of pursuing dopamine hits is to pursue contentment. A problem shopping area for me is eyeshadow palettes. I was thinking. I love the Zing! Falling for a bew palette to want doesn't mean I'll be so content with the product that I would happily use it 2 or 3 times a week and repurchase it in 2 or 3 years. I do have a few palettes like that. It may be better to find pleasure in wearing the things you are happy to wear all the time than finding pleasure in the hunt.
One of the reasons the travel capsules aren't boring (however small) - there is plenty of dopamine coming in while one's traveling, there is no need for compulsive shopping. :) Also to the point Alyssa made - not having 100% appropriate pieces for a new climate or environment is totally ok. I bought a white cotton head scarf while traveling in Egypt. It looked cute and everybody around were wearing them, and the sun was so harsh... No surprise it didn't work in any capacity when I was back to Northern parts of Europe, so I had just disposed it. That was a valuable lesson in wardrobe strategy, and I've been trying to avoid this pit since then :)
Thank you "three" for sharing! All your thoughts are SO usable and easily to apply in general (micro steps) for improving health and creativity !(and certainly for much more issues!)
Great podcast! Interesting about the dopamine from shopping. I did a no buy for a year and continued for 14 months. I found new hobbies to replace shopping so now I find that I don’t have time to shop. I only buy when I really need something. I realized that I had so many clothes, much of which I did not love. I am continuing to reduce my wardrobe so that I only have my very favourite items. Would love an inspiring book review podcast from you ladies!
I think another key, linking to the pain avoidance/pleasure seeking behaviours that motivate our actions, is the “pain avoidance” of being labelled an “outfit repeater” by society and the “pleasure seeking” of being labelled a “fashionista by society for always having new things. Would love an episode about how to be a proud “outfit repeater.” : )
Oh! And on that note, another super cool Canadian RUclipsr who may be worth having as a guest is Verena (MyGreenCloset)-she went through design school, so she has a super interesting perspective as well. : )
I adore all 3 of you and have listened to every episode, several times. I continue to learn from all of you both individually and collectively. I am aware that no one addresses weight and what an integral part, while dressing, can impact shopping your closet vs buying new pieces. There is something to be said about being able to wear everything in your closet. Thoughts? I, thankfully, do not struggle anymore, (I am 175.26 cm and 62 kilo, after spending 4 months in Perugia, and running a marathon in Honolulu.) Bravo 👏🏻 keep up the awesome inspiring good work!!! I am looking forward to all your material in 2024!!! HNY 🎉 Best, Barb
Hi I love your podcast and our videos especially on ways to shop your closet. Listening and viewing your messages keeps me motivated to limit my shopping and being more thoughtful about what I do buy. You mentioned on one podcast shopping the mens’ department in thrift stores. I would love to hear more about shopping the men’s department (or boys department for smaller women) in thrift or retail stores. Many thanks!
This was great. I grew up with very little but happen to love beautiful things. Thankfully I was blessed with a natural creativity so have been able to work with what I have. My husband once gave me the best compliment. That I can make something out of nothing. 💕 While I do like nice things I do not follow trends. It is a waste of money and, in my opinion, the weakest form of style. I don’t follow influencers unless they are like you guys, helping people to find their own style and encouraging low consumption. It helps that I am completely aware that fashion, whether home or clothing, is used to keep us spending our money. New trends, colors, styles are constantly changing to keep us feeling like we are lacking, therefore constantly buying the new thing and rejecting the old.
Loved this 👏🏼 it’s a tough, but not impossible challenge to practice self-awareness when we feel the urge to buy things. I love what y’all said about how shopping urges might be related to how we feel, and maybe a need we have that has nothing to do with buying something - but it’s more like, maybe we’re lonely, bored, etc. Do y’all have a reading list somewhere?
This was a very helpful discussion. I've always loved clothes and dressing well. Your perspectives and tips have given me some insight on how I might go about changing my shopping habits. Since I retired last year from teaching, I found myself reinventing my wardrobe. I think a lot of it had to do with watching RUclips fashion influencers. I would describe myself as classic, tailored, neutral, and comfortable. I decluttered a lot of pieces, but I keep trying to "find the perfect wardrobe" by adding basic pieces that I feel are missing from my closet. I don't over spend because I am really good with my budget. I don't ever carry credit card debt. I always tell my self that "this will be the last piece" and I will be satisfied. I think the first step I need to take is to decrease the amount of influencers I watch and the amount of time I spend on these channels. Thanks for your inspiration.
I absolutely love your podcast. I follow each one of you and together you absolutely rock. You make me think deeper on styling, dopamine rush. New thing I started and I think you suggested it, is to take photos of outfits I felt amazing in or loved how I style them. When I am stuck go back to that album for inspiration
So helpful as always. Those adidas trainers did a number on me, too. It’s wanting to show you know stuff. It’s kinda absurd when we put it under the microscope 😂
Putting things away out of season (or even in season that I’m constantly passing over) has been so helpful for me! Feels like you’re getting new things and your wardrobe can be switched up without buying stuff if you get in a rut or feel bored - plus having less stuff to play with genuinely makes you have to put more effort into combining things in new ways as you say.
Thank you for this thoughtful discussion. I really appreciated seeing you all pensively listen to one another and create space for each other's ideas. I have heard you discuss many of these ideas through each of your RUclips channels and I found it engaging to hear you all sharing with one another and asking each other questions. When the idea of a dopamine detox for a 4 week minimum was brought up I wish that an idea of first coming up with alternative coping strategies had been discussed. The idea of giving yourself the opportunity to sit with your discomfort and feelings feels tricky to me. Some people have much harder lives than others and the idea of taking away a coping mechanism that may be maladaptive at this point, but offering nothing in its place other than, we are going to do this cold turkey, seems to lack compassion for many and be ineffective. Thank you all!
Because of your amazing channels and now this podcast, I really wear a lot everything I buy. However, even by making different combinations, sometimes I get ‘tired’ of my clothes and that’s what makes me want to buy new 🙈
Necessity breeds invention. Love it.." constraints ate the breeding ground of creativity.. " i find this to be true in my home styling / decor as well when i need a refresh / change but i cant afford or i dont want to spend money. And the reward for me personally is that joy of "making it work "without spending a penny. !!! I also unsubscribe all the time!!
I tend to wear new purchases even though I have so many part items that are perfectly fine and not outdated. I do have to consciously curate a rack to rotate items from closets and drawers onto this rack. In others words, thus is how I shop my closet.
This discussion is sooo good! Learning to be creative with the clothes is our closet is key. It can also be fun and not a chore. Thanks for all the thought provoking ideas. Appreciate the honest sharing you do!
Petites usually find it easier to wear what we already have, since we have to alter virtually everything that we buy. Plus, I have to do almost all my shopping on-line. It can take days to find what I want. When I get it, it rarely fits or the color is entirely different than what it looked like on-line.
Sometimes a no buy year is important in order to change the mindset. To confront the pain that no purchase is going to make us whole. After a no buy year I decluttered 1/3 of my clothes (I have now 1/2 of closet of clothes). And I am planning not to buy anything in the next several years... But now it is not a restriction, but more like a reward to myself. I dont want to deal with it any more...
I have found it so hard to maintain no or low buys. It seems to get harder as time goes by. Shopping for me has always been a pleasure. The dream wardrobe concept is not a reality. I really need to be more creative so I am not bored. I order numerous items but buy very few like you described here.
Such a good topic, feel you could talk about it for another hour at least ;-) Have had to admit my shopping “habits” are maybe a bit more than just that. However have been super inspired by listening to your podcast and following you and am really reconnecting with what I have and making an effort to be more creative, but especially bold… I find it takes a bit of courage too, to try new things and think outside of your comfort zone, but it is super rewarding! On so many levels it is making me feel so much better, empowered even. Thank you, ladies, for an other wonderful topic!
“Be relevant, update your classics, don’t be frumpy” this what I hear at my age (54), is there truth in that? Or is it just another hidden advertising trick? I see it on other women and it makes me doubt myself. At my age vintage and “classic” is no longer cool?
I’m around the same age and I am finding myself trying to thrift more well-made classics. I’m trying to ignore the marketing for our age. I think it’s absolutely possible to mix with what we have with just a few newer pieces, without falling prey to spending a lot of money on current trends. If that makes sense. Editing to add: Vintage is always cool!!
I think it really depends on how you feel in the clothes you have now. Do they help you express who you are? Do they flatter you and help you be your best self? I’m 58, and over the last three years, I’ve replaced about 50% of my wardrobe (buying many preloved items) and also reduced its overall size. For many years, my uniform was a blazer, booties and skinny jeans. I also had a ton of knee-length dresses and skirts. As I entered my fifties, though I still love my legs, I found that midi dresses and skirts felt more me. Likewise, I started wearing wide-leg and trouser jeans. My wardrobe is about 75% black and all of my pieces coordinate. Though my three words are “classic, edgy and sophisticated,” I really feel that the way I dress now is ageless and timeless, an outer reflection of who I am inside. So I’d just advise asking yourself if what you wear expresses who you are, and don’t worry about societal pressures or “rules.” Do you feel great? You deserve to. Remember that the woman in the mirror is your best friend, and she is awesome.
I've thought about that, and question -- Just what is the difference between a "uniform" and a rut?? Also: speaking of fashion repeat- why do we often buy the SAME key pieces over and over again? (Ex: tees, tanks, cardigan dusters, leggings). Going to try the #nobuychallenge a try for October. I'm a (long time) thrifter, but even THAT can get out of hand - and definitely comes right back to that baseline and dopamine hits, especially during stressful times... Really enjoying your podcasts ❤
I think it is hard to find out what looks good on me and figure out new outfits. It is a trade off not wanting to spend too much of my time scowling, looking at other people's styling to fuel the buying impulse, vs finding new ideas to make what I have already look contemporary. I say buy one sundress and enjoy it in while you are at the beach. the clothing I like the best are the ones that feel the most functional.
I get my dopamine hit when I dress, look in the mirror and think it looks really good. The time I wore my first piece of second hand cloths and felt I looked soo god in it, that was a really big dopamin high for me. Also if I figure out a new outfit I get really high, but I hate shopping. I have this big clump in my stomach. Strange that we are so different…
Hi. I love your podcast! I live in Mexico City and work from home. I have a casual classic style but I'm begining to get bored of my outfit. The weather here is really tempered 18- 23°C. So we don't have great season changes. Do you have any tips for rotating a capsule wardrobe that serves all year long (mostly)? Tempered 18- 23°C. So we don't have great season changes. Do you have any tips for rotating a capsule wardrobe that serves all year long (mostly)?
Great topic and chat. At the beginning of the year I unsubscribed from makeup company emails and makeup RUclipsrs. I started watching minimalism content (Alyssa, Christina, The minimal mom, etc.) and decided to do this after 7 years of creating a "makeup collection". I have not bought an eyeshadow palette in 9 months. Unsubscribing was tough, but I was no longer comfortable with the consumption/spending approach. Last week I decluttered 40+ palettes and other makeup items and cleared a makeup cabinet. I felt sad and guilty because of the money I have spent, but I am lighter now and wiser regarding my shopping habits. Thank you for this podcast.
Thank you for your Podcast. I have recently culled my wardrobe. I pulled out all that didn't resonant with me. Thanks for that word too. As it made me realise that those items were blocking my view of a wardrobe of favourites. I realized too that hidden in my closet after I grieved all the clothes going that I had still slot left. Which made it easier to release the non-resonated clothes. I will get that book effortless too.
Summer and winter temperatures vary by 80-90 degrees where I live. It’s such a source of newness for me when I rotate out the stored things that are fit for the season. Since day/night temps also frequently vary by 30-40 degrees there’s a lot less change in my wardrobe through the year than you might imagine, though. I’ve solved my boredom with that by storing things like Signe does (on her suggestion) that I just want a break from and going back frequently through the year to see what’s speaking to me again. I’ve never been able to afford to really go searching for things I love new and prefer to keep the old good ones whenever I can find them thrift. This helps me keep my relationship with them fresh. I also create a sort of mini capsule in one side of my tiny walk in closet where I keep all of the things that are particularly speaking to me based on weather, color, activities, etc. I try to keep everything in that mini capsule cohesive so that I can pair them freely. I do have a lot more clothes than self identified minimalists do, but not a warehouse… just a large suitcase in the bottom of my closet in which I store my out of season items, two yard long bars for hanging, and the equivalent of a dresser for knits and shoes.
How do you cope with the “but it’s such a great find” situation? Our vintage/ thrift clothes are fairly limited in offer. If I find a great piece, I feel I must get it or lose it. Coping strategies? I still regret a lambs wool jacket I passed up.
Just before the pandemic, I had a color analysis and body shape typing, so I spent the pandemic gradually replacing my wardrobe. Now I'm focusing on stopping the effort to "perfect" my wardrobe and instead use what I have in creative new ways. And be more conscious of what I am thinking and feeling when I have a desire to shop.
Hey I was thinking I need those Sambas but…. I’m not a sneaker person I have a pair of white AF 1 that we’re given to me. So I thought. I could use a pair of black white sneakers to casual down my outfits when can’t do all white and found a pair of suede platform pumas second hand for a bargain and they are much more “me”. Insert here my pumas when samba is used for outfit ideas and I’m happy I skipped the sambas I have recently purged and curated my closet now I’m having sooooo much fun putting together outfits and I have a list for basics I’m missing and will find at thrift store
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A trick I used when my kids were little was to take half their toys and put them in the attic. When I got them back out a few months later, they seemed new and exciting. If you have a place to store some of your clothes, they might give you that same feeling of newness and excitement.
I have been using a day of the week to use my favorite things and style them different. I love turquoise jewelry and have thrifted lots over the years. Every Tuesday I style my turquoise jewelry and every Sunday I challenge myself to wear a skirt or dress. This gives me a creative outlet and I feel rewarded for using old things that I already have and know I love.
I love this idea ❤ I always say I'm gonna wear my favourite things more, but life gets so busy and I just keep reaching for the convenient thinking I'll do it next time, which of course never happens.. this is great ❤
Turquoise Tuesdays! 😊
So much food for thought with this topic, ladies! I’m in my fifties and three years ago I realized that many of my clothes were either too youthful or were no longer me. I set out to revamp my wardrobe and sold or gifted about 50% of my wardrobe (about half of the new items I purchased were pre-loved). I did become consumed for a while with that chase for “the perfect wardrobe,” and was always on to the search for the next perfect thing. Here are a couple of things I’ve discovered and a few things I now do:
1) I discovered that I experience the same dopamine hit from decluttering that I do from shopping. Does anyone else experience that? As I have reduced the overall size of my wardrobe, I know that the remaining items are things I love and that look great, and that makes me excited. It is easier to get dressed. 2) Excluding workout gear, I make sure that anything I buy now is timeless enough that I’ll want to wear it when I’m 80. My clothes are not disposable. I do still fall sometimes for buying for my fantasy self (I still love beautiful party dresses, which I don’t wear as often as I used to), but I indulge this, as the dresses make me feel joyful when I wear them, and I’ll sometimes play dress up.
It is true, though, as Alyssa mentioned, that the “busyness” of shopping, social media, TV, etc. is for many a distraction from sitting with our feelings, acknowledging them, getting to know ourselves, and forging connections with others. Things are meant to serve us, not vice-versa, but we have a lot of programming hard-wired into us. However, the soul loves to play and create, and the more we foster this, the more joy we will find in life, and in the possessions we already have.
'Things are meant to serve us, not vice versa' preach!
I am 58 and it has taken me years to work out my style and I am still not sure 100%. I prefer simple clean lines and have a love affair going on with linen. I have kept a few of my bohemian style dresses because I still look good in them and I paid too much money to send them away. I also go up and down in weight alot thanks to illness and stress so it's not viable to completely start from scratch every few years
After working on the habit of shopping my closet( thank you ladies!!!), the only thing that moves me towards shopping is shoes (conscious updates) and thrift finds . They imediately give that twist on what I already have (and it’s too much as a former fashion designer). I love fashion and beautiful things, and will forever. So the urge of decluttering (I did well, but NOT as much I thought I could )….That was pain… and I gave up because I love to rework garments with creativity… upcycling them. Getting rid of so much because of the guilt of having too much started feeling like punishment and this was not my goal.
SOOOOOOOOO many gems in this. Wanting to be the "cool girl," the dopamine hits, boredoms impact on scrolling. Thank you for normalizing our feelings, being vulnerable, and giving tools for us to sloooooowwwww doooowwwnnnnn.
I find the openwardrobe app is pretty good to remind me what pieces of clothing I havent been wearing and i make a point to wear it. Also sometimes we think we have a gap and that gap need to be filled by a piece of clothing when actually that gap can just be filled by an accessories like a new belt in a different colour. I find just changing the colour of my belt can make a big difference and impact.
I feel like I’ve been forced into a low buy situation these past few years. First the high rise trend did not work for this short torso gal. Then lately when I’ve been shopping I find the quality of clothing is so poor compared to what I have in my closet I just won’t pull the trigger.
I feel you. So many clothes are made of plastic. I feel it is such a waste
Thanks for the podcast, it was very nice. I, after years of working in fashion and having too many clothes, realized that I hate the first time I wear something new. I feel uncomfortable, observed and awkward. If I have to do something important I always prefer to use something old and tested. In fact, the things I love most are often old and maybe broken erammended by my mom but they make me feel my best. The Japanese concept of wasi tabi is the opposite of always wanting something new but in my opinion besides being sustainable the history and flaws of a garment are what over time make it so valuable and trusted
Book suggestion “The hacking of the American mind “ by Robert Lustig MD is an informative easy read
Covers the dopamine & other pathways used with rewarding activities like shopping. ( ….eating, gambling, drugs )
great ideas how to change your patterns.
Also covers how it’s not your fault - the system is pretty rigged, explains why it is so hard to resist.
You might love this one Alyssa & Christina 💕
Your generosity blows me away. You are helping so many of us consume less and more carefully which is the ultimate in kindness to ourselves and our planet. Just brilliant, thank you so much ❤
Great video!! I am purposely wearing clothes from my closet that I haven’t worn in awhile (or ever). Need to wear them to decide if I want to keep them.
I definitely go clothes shopping for the dopamine hit. It’s also the thrill of the hunt since I get most of my clothes from thrift stores.
The thrill of the hunt for me is so addictive too when I thrift. The dopamine hits are unreal.
@@ElementalWitchnOoh yes, I completely agree 😅
Wow, this episode almost felt spiritual in nature! So many good things and even addressing the holistic self and how we project things like homesickness or loneliness onto needing to fill a hole in our wardrobe. I'm in a tricky place with being postpartum and nursing and how different my body looks right now... all my clothing feels awkward and weird and I just want to burn it all down and start over! But really I could be looking at this as an opportunity to come up with new combinations and exploring what I want my style to actually be. So thank you for that!
I did the 75 “hard” style challenge this year but I did a lighter version 😊 Even though the challenge has been over for a while, I’m enjoying the same practices daily… I actively try to pick things I haven’t worn in a long time and/or being really intentional with outfits and styling. I’m an avid thrifter and continue to add to my collection, but I’m getting way better at saying NO and not grabbing “well that could work pieces.” Also really leaning into my signature pieces has been really fun for me!! Thanks ladies I really enjoy your discussions and discourse 😘
I love the 3 of you and unfortunately have also started following some other amazing ladies on you tube and IG. I say unfortunately because I find myself wanting to shop even more than before😅🤦🏻♀️ when there is a great sponsor or I see something that I “need” in my wardrobe. Every time I tell myself this is the last thing I need to complete my wardrobe but there is always one more thing! I obsess about it for weeks and then usually give in, especially if it goes on sale. Might need a you tube break… started a habit tracking app to help me track my shopping days, non shopping days, notes on why I did or didn’t buy and what I was feeling etc
So interesting you mentioned how with restraint comes creativity - I just listened to a podcast from Dawn the Minimal Mom,…and she mentioned a similar concept with too many kids toys,…with some boundaries or having less, it actually encourages creativity. Sounds like a principle we can use in so many aspects of our lives, even too much social media consumption
I retired last year i finally know about my body type i didn't know that im wearing a wrong styles it's a hit and miss .Watching you 3 and others influencers i learned a lot I'm 64 years old everyday that i dress I'm loving it now i have my signature outfits ❤
This was a great episode guys!!! Omg we need a part 2!
Following all 3 of you and this podcast has helped me to realize that not only have I been buying for the thrill of finding the perfect item at the best deal, but also to fulfill my quest for my fantasy self. This might mean purchasing smart attire, or that perfect piece to make me look like the person wearing it. Unfortunately, neither of those reasons are the right reason. First, I haven't worked in an office for more than 10 years now, and since Covid, most of my clients work with me virtually. Nice tops are about all I really need and then not so many. Additionally, I am 61 and midsized. Nothing I purchase is going to make me look like a 30-something size 6.
Christina, I so can relate to you. I too was a shopaholic turning minimalist-ish (love this!). And Signe, I love your soft, edgy, and classic style. I too love color and am a redhead that falls between a medium bright spring and autumn. I use your styling as inspiration. Alyssa, you are so striking and have helped me to look at why I purchase in a different way. I am having fun using elements of style to build outfits with what I already have. I can't get enough of your content and wished you published more frequently.
I just recently purchased a full size mirror to help me style what I already own better as I become more comfortable with the skin I am in. I think that more than the dopamine spike from the thrill of the "kill" (the good deal), my purchases were to look like the model wearing it even though I knew that was not going to happen. Thank you for helping me to realize this.
I am decluttering by consigning and donating to a local church as well as to a local thrift shop (if the item is not consignment worthy). I have also slowed down my purchases by being more conscientious, working from a very short list and with less trend chasing. My 3-ish words (right now) are "casual, effortless & chic, and confident" and have definitely helped this cause.
BTW, I am working on a "low buy season". Can't quite commit to "no buy" yet. Maybe next spring.
All your points are well taken, thank you! Now that I am retired, I have more time (that is key) to focus on my wardrobe and I can see how I am able to focus on being creative with the clothes that I have rather than hurrying and giving way to any impulsive buying. The rewards on creativity, less spending, and more control on your life are definitely more satisfying and a great source of dopamine, by far superior to that quick rush provided by a purchase that is impulsive, most likely problematic (ill fitting, not a great match with the rest of your clothes and / or your lifestyle, etc.) and a source of guilt (waste of time and money). Thanks to your very inspiring videos, I have found that setting aside a limited harmonious capsule (12 to 15 pieces) from my existing wardrobe every few weeks (according to the changes in the weather mostly but also to my moods -I love colors) I can find joy in getting dressed every day. Setting limits to your clothes selection does indeed booster creativity. I love my clothes.! An interesting and possible future topic: accessories...
On the topic of dopamine, I've heard that the opposite of pursuing dopamine hits is to pursue contentment.
A problem shopping area for me is eyeshadow palettes. I was thinking. I love the Zing! Falling for a bew palette to want doesn't mean I'll be so content with the product that I would happily use it 2 or 3 times a week and repurchase it in 2 or 3 years. I do have a few palettes like that. It may be better to find pleasure in wearing the things you are happy to wear all the time than finding pleasure in the hunt.
One of the reasons the travel capsules aren't boring (however small) - there is plenty of dopamine coming in while one's traveling, there is no need for compulsive shopping. :) Also to the point Alyssa made - not having 100% appropriate pieces for a new climate or environment is totally ok. I bought a white cotton head scarf while traveling in Egypt. It looked cute and everybody around were wearing them, and the sun was so harsh... No surprise it didn't work in any capacity when I was back to Northern parts of Europe, so I had just disposed it. That was a valuable lesson in wardrobe strategy, and I've been trying to avoid this pit since then :)
Thank you "three" for sharing! All your thoughts are SO usable and easily to apply in general (micro steps) for improving health and creativity !(and certainly for much more issues!)
Yes to the book club!❤
Great podcast! Interesting about the dopamine from shopping. I did a no buy for a year and continued for 14 months. I found new hobbies to replace shopping so now I find that I don’t have time to shop. I only buy when I really need something. I realized that I had so many clothes, much of which I did not love. I am continuing to reduce my wardrobe so that I only have my very favourite items. Would love an inspiring book review podcast from you ladies!
Please make a list of favourite books and a pod were you talk about it. Also favourite inspiration; people, books, paintings, movies etc. ?
I think another key, linking to the pain avoidance/pleasure seeking behaviours that motivate our actions, is the “pain avoidance” of being labelled an “outfit repeater” by society and the “pleasure seeking” of being labelled a “fashionista by society for always having new things. Would love an episode about how to be a proud “outfit repeater.” : )
Oh! And on that note, another super cool Canadian RUclipsr who may be worth having as a guest is Verena (MyGreenCloset)-she went through design school, so she has a super interesting perspective as well. : )
I adore all 3 of you and have listened to every episode, several times. I continue to learn from all of you both individually and collectively.
I am aware that no one addresses weight and what an integral part, while dressing, can impact shopping your closet vs buying new pieces.
There is something to be said about being able to wear everything in your closet.
Thoughts?
I, thankfully, do not struggle anymore, (I am 175.26 cm and 62 kilo, after spending 4 months in Perugia, and running a marathon in Honolulu.)
Bravo 👏🏻 keep up the awesome inspiring good work!!!
I am looking forward to all your material in 2024!!!
HNY 🎉
Best,
Barb
Hi I love your podcast and our videos especially on ways to shop your closet. Listening and viewing your messages keeps me motivated to limit my shopping and being more thoughtful about what I do buy. You mentioned on one podcast shopping the mens’ department in thrift stores. I would love to hear more about shopping the men’s department (or boys department for smaller women) in thrift or retail stores. Many thanks!
This was great. I grew up with very little but happen to love beautiful things. Thankfully I was blessed with a natural creativity so have been able to work with what I have.
My husband once gave me the best compliment. That I can make something out of nothing. 💕
While I do like nice things I do not follow trends. It is a waste of money and, in my opinion, the weakest form of style.
I don’t follow influencers unless they are like you guys, helping people to find their own style and encouraging low consumption.
It helps that I am completely aware that fashion, whether home or clothing, is used to keep us spending our money.
New trends, colors, styles are constantly changing to keep us feeling like we are lacking, therefore constantly buying the new thing and rejecting the old.
Loved this 👏🏼 it’s a tough, but not impossible challenge to practice self-awareness when we feel the urge to buy things. I love what y’all said about how shopping urges might be related to how we feel, and maybe a need we have that has nothing to do with buying something - but it’s more like, maybe we’re lonely, bored, etc. Do y’all have a reading list somewhere?
Thank you, just perfect content again... would love to here more about daily gratitude, I've tried but never stuck too it.
This was a very helpful discussion. I've always loved clothes and dressing well. Your perspectives and tips have given me some insight on how I might go about changing my shopping habits. Since I retired last year from teaching, I found myself reinventing my wardrobe. I think a lot of it had to do with watching RUclips fashion influencers. I would describe myself as classic, tailored, neutral, and comfortable. I decluttered a lot of pieces, but I keep trying to "find the perfect wardrobe" by adding basic pieces that I feel are missing from my closet. I don't over spend because I am really good with my budget. I don't ever carry credit card debt. I always tell my self that "this will be the last piece" and I will be satisfied. I think the first step I need to take is to decrease the amount of influencers I watch and the amount of time I spend on these channels. Thanks for your inspiration.
I absolutely love your podcast. I follow each one of you and together you absolutely rock. You make me think deeper on styling, dopamine rush. New thing I started and I think you suggested it, is to take photos of outfits I felt amazing in or loved how I style them. When I am stuck go back to that album for inspiration
So helpful as always. Those adidas trainers did a number on me, too. It’s wanting to show you know stuff. It’s kinda absurd when we put it under the microscope 😂
Putting things away out of season (or even in season that I’m constantly passing over) has been so helpful for me! Feels like you’re getting new things and your wardrobe can be switched up without buying stuff if you get in a rut or feel bored - plus having less stuff to play with genuinely makes you have to put more effort into combining things in new ways as you say.
I'm really enjoying your insightful conversations!
Thank you for this thoughtful discussion. I really appreciated seeing you all pensively listen to one another and create space for each other's ideas. I have heard you discuss many of these ideas through each of your RUclips channels and I found it engaging to hear you all sharing with one another and asking each other questions. When the idea of a dopamine detox for a 4 week minimum was brought up I wish that an idea of first coming up with alternative coping strategies had been discussed. The idea of giving yourself the opportunity to sit with your discomfort and feelings feels tricky to me. Some people have much harder lives than others and the idea of taking away a coping mechanism that may be maladaptive at this point, but offering nothing in its place other than, we are going to do this cold turkey, seems to lack compassion for many and be ineffective. Thank you all!
Because of your amazing channels and now this podcast, I really wear a lot everything I buy. However, even by making different combinations, sometimes I get ‘tired’ of my clothes and that’s what makes me want to buy new 🙈
You, guys, are truly mi dopamine fix! I look forward every tuesday to listen to you while taking a walk... can't have enough of it! ❤
Necessity breeds invention. Love it.." constraints ate the breeding ground of creativity.. " i find this to be true in my home styling / decor as well when i need a refresh / change but i cant afford or i dont want to spend money. And the reward for me personally is that joy of "making it work "without spending a penny. !!! I also unsubscribe all the time!!
I tend to wear new purchases even though I have so many part items that are perfectly fine and not outdated. I do have to consciously curate a rack to rotate items from closets and drawers onto this rack. In others words, thus is how I shop my closet.
This discussion is sooo good! Learning to be creative with the clothes is our closet is key. It can also be fun and not a chore. Thanks for all the thought provoking ideas. Appreciate the honest sharing you do!
Petites usually find it easier to wear what we already have, since we have to alter virtually everything that we buy.
Plus, I have to do almost all my shopping on-line. It can take days to find what I want. When I get it, it rarely fits or the color is entirely different than what it looked like on-line.
Loved this! Great discussion.
Sometimes a no buy year is important in order to change the mindset. To confront the pain that no purchase is going to make us whole. After a no buy year I decluttered 1/3 of my clothes (I have now 1/2 of closet of clothes). And I am planning not to buy anything in the next several years... But now it is not a restriction, but more like a reward to myself. I dont want to deal with it any more...
I have found it so hard to maintain no or low buys. It seems to get harder as time goes by. Shopping for me has always been a pleasure. The dream wardrobe concept is not a reality. I really need to be more creative so I am not bored. I order numerous items but buy very few like you described here.
Such a good topic, feel you could talk about it for another hour at least ;-) Have had to admit my shopping “habits” are maybe a bit more than just that. However have been super inspired by listening to your podcast and following you and am really reconnecting with what I have and making an effort to be more creative, but especially bold… I find it takes a bit of courage too, to try new things and think outside of your comfort zone, but it is super rewarding! On so many levels it is making me feel so much better, empowered even. Thank you, ladies, for an other wonderful topic!
“Be relevant, update your classics, don’t be frumpy” this what I hear at my age (54), is there truth in that? Or is it just another hidden advertising trick? I see it on other women and it makes me doubt myself. At my age vintage and “classic” is no longer cool?
I’m around the same age and I am finding myself trying to thrift more well-made classics. I’m trying to ignore the marketing for our age. I think it’s absolutely possible to mix with what we have with just a few newer pieces, without falling prey to spending a lot of money on current trends. If that makes sense.
Editing to add: Vintage is always cool!!
I think it really depends on how you feel in the clothes you have now. Do they help you express who you are? Do they flatter you and help you be your best self? I’m 58, and over the last three years, I’ve replaced about 50% of my wardrobe (buying many preloved items) and also reduced its overall size. For many years, my uniform was a blazer, booties and skinny jeans. I also had a ton of knee-length dresses and skirts. As I entered my fifties, though I still love my legs, I found that midi dresses and skirts felt more me. Likewise, I started wearing wide-leg and trouser jeans. My wardrobe is about 75% black and all of my pieces coordinate. Though my three words are “classic, edgy and sophisticated,” I really feel that the way I dress now is ageless and timeless, an outer reflection of who I am inside. So I’d just advise asking yourself if what you wear expresses who you are, and don’t worry about societal pressures or “rules.” Do you feel great? You deserve to. Remember that the woman in the mirror is your best friend, and she is awesome.
I've thought about that, and question -- Just what is the difference between a "uniform" and a rut?? Also: speaking of fashion repeat- why do we often buy the SAME key pieces over and over again? (Ex: tees, tanks, cardigan dusters, leggings). Going to try the #nobuychallenge a try for October. I'm a (long time) thrifter, but even THAT can get out of hand - and definitely comes right back to that baseline and dopamine hits, especially during stressful times... Really enjoying your podcasts ❤
I think it is hard to find out what looks good on me and figure out new outfits. It is a trade off not wanting to spend too much of my time scowling, looking at other people's styling to fuel the buying impulse, vs finding new ideas to make what I have already look contemporary. I say buy one sundress and enjoy it in while you are at the beach. the clothing I like the best are the ones that feel the most functional.
I get my dopamine hit when I dress, look in the mirror and think it looks really good. The time I wore my first piece of second hand cloths and felt I looked soo god in it, that was a really big dopamin high for me. Also if I figure out a new outfit I get really high, but I hate shopping. I have this big clump in my stomach. Strange that we are so different…
Maybe it’s the idea of wanting combinations instead of maybe just being ok with being “boring”, it’s fine.
Hi. I love your podcast! I live in Mexico City and work from home. I have a casual classic style but I'm begining to get bored of my outfit. The weather here is really tempered 18- 23°C. So we don't have great season changes. Do you have any tips for rotating a capsule wardrobe that serves all year long (mostly)? Tempered 18- 23°C. So we don't have great season changes. Do you have any tips for rotating a capsule wardrobe that serves all year long (mostly)?
Great topic and chat. At the beginning of the year I unsubscribed from makeup company emails and makeup RUclipsrs. I started watching minimalism content (Alyssa, Christina, The minimal mom, etc.) and decided to do this after 7 years of creating a "makeup collection". I have not bought an eyeshadow palette in 9 months. Unsubscribing was tough, but I was no longer comfortable with the consumption/spending approach. Last week I decluttered 40+ palettes and other makeup items and cleared a makeup cabinet. I felt sad and guilty because of the money I have spent, but I am lighter now and wiser regarding my shopping habits. Thank you for this podcast.
Thank you for your Podcast. I have recently culled my wardrobe. I pulled out all that didn't resonant with me. Thanks for that word too. As it made me realise that those items were blocking my view of a wardrobe of favourites. I realized too that hidden in my closet after I grieved all the clothes going that I had still slot left. Which made it easier to release the non-resonated clothes. I will get that book effortless too.
Book club!!!! Yes❤
Summer and winter temperatures vary by 80-90 degrees where I live. It’s such a source of newness for me when I rotate out the stored things that are fit for the season. Since day/night temps also frequently vary by 30-40 degrees there’s a lot less change in my wardrobe through the year than you might imagine, though. I’ve solved my boredom with that by storing things like Signe does (on her suggestion) that I just want a break from and going back frequently through the year to see what’s speaking to me again. I’ve never been able to afford to really go searching for things I love new and prefer to keep the old good ones whenever I can find them thrift. This helps me keep my relationship with them fresh. I also create a sort of mini capsule in one side of my tiny walk in closet where I keep all of the things that are particularly speaking to me based on weather, color, activities, etc. I try to keep everything in that mini capsule cohesive so that I can pair them freely. I do have a lot more clothes than self identified minimalists do, but not a warehouse… just a large suitcase in the bottom of my closet in which I store my out of season items, two yard long bars for hanging, and the equivalent of a dresser for knits and shoes.
How do you cope with the “but it’s such a great find” situation? Our vintage/ thrift clothes are fairly limited in offer. If I find a great piece, I feel I must get it or lose it. Coping strategies? I still regret a lambs wool jacket I passed up.
Just before the pandemic, I had a color analysis and body shape typing, so I spent the pandemic gradually replacing my wardrobe. Now I'm focusing on stopping the effort to "perfect" my wardrobe and instead use what I have in creative new ways. And be more conscious of what I am thinking and feeling when I have a desire to shop.
For me, it’s not 2 first weeks and one month in. The second month is haaard, never made it lol
Hey I was thinking I need those Sambas but…. I’m not a sneaker person I have a pair of white AF 1 that we’re given to me. So I thought. I could use a pair of black white sneakers to casual down my outfits when can’t do all white and found a pair of suede platform pumas second hand for a bargain and they are much more “me”. Insert here my pumas when samba is used for outfit ideas and I’m happy I skipped the sambas I have recently purged and curated my closet now I’m having sooooo much fun putting together outfits and I have a list for basics I’m missing and will find at thrift store
There is a book Dopamine detox by Josh Snider
But Alyssa, isn’t that your style? Again, instead of buying stuff because of others.