How To Be Charismatic If You're "Nerdy"
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- Опубликовано: 22 июл 2024
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The biggest movie franchise of the last decade was based off of comic books, the biggest TV series was based off a fantasy series, and there are people making millions of dollars a year streaming themselves playing dungeons and dragons.
Some people mistakenly think being a nerd or geek automatically makes you less attractive. But now more than ever, it’s cool to be a nerd.
Now of course, Joe, Margot, and Henry are very good looking. We’ll actually touch on improving your looks towards the end of the video.
But first, let’s go through some charisma advice that will help you to be more attractive no matter what you look like. These tips will help you be more attractive on dates, as well as just more magnetic with friends.
(Also I know all the real nerds out there will point out that technically, nerds and geeks aren’t the same. But for this video, we’ll use the terms interchangeably.)
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
0:00 - Intro
1:03 - Mistake #1: Hiding your nerdy interests
2:11 - Mistake #2: Not knowing how to talk about your interests
9:33 - Mistake #3: Not having a variety of interests
10:06 - Mistake #4: Giving up on your physical appearance
11:48 - Mistake #5: Hiding your interests because you fear rejection
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#HenryCavill #CharismaOnCommand
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Being born looking like Henry Cavill also doesn't hurt
Being as rich and famous as Henry Cavill probably wouldn't be harmful either
@@spinosauruskin Being born with the knowledge that you're as rich, famous and look like Henry Cavill is also probably bit of a confidence boost.
Ok you anyalated this video before I even watched it so I’m not gonna
It hurts me
Yeah, turns out you can be into nerdy interests, even be fervently into them, if you're hot. It's only pathetic and nerdy if you're also ugly.
The problem isn't nerdiness: the problem is being one-sided.
If the only thing you can talk about is nerdy stuff, that's cool but not very unique.
If you're a total nerd, but you also have several other hobbies and a life full of interests that people don't often associate with the stereotypical nerd, now you're a rare and interesting person to be around.
Even if you don't look like Henry Cavill / are not a famous actor.
Point 3 in the video is absolutely fundamental.
I agree. I know some people who have very great and unique hobbies, but once you try to have small talk or talk about general stuff the conversation becomes more flat.
IT is weird indeed. Everywhere I comment, people tell me how much they love me and my content. Sometimes IT is annoying. But right now, IT would be okay. So say something nice about my content, dear alex
alex with the facts, totally on point. Also, i hope you are enjoying endwalker
100% right with this Alex
Like being mainstream gossip headed is any better than being a nerd-it's not. Everyone is busy trying to be like everyone else. But yeah I get what you're saying but everyone is different. I'm interested in everything because I love knowledge and wisdom and things of the world. But I'm also a huge massive nerd.
Simple maxim: You cannot shame me for things which I do not feel ashamed.
In theme with the video: "Let me give you some advice, bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister before he got a late season case of the dumbs.
But then you become shameless, and that further perpetuates hatred from others.
@@rymanshroomzorz Well not quite. You still have the agency to identify bad behaviour in which you will be shamed and then you will cease those bad habits. Besides, my comment was made specifically in relation to the context of the video, that being publicly talking about nerdy hobbies and (potentially) being shamed for it.
You also have to be honest with yourself and recognize things that you should be ashamed of.
@@receivedbeans8555 That's right however my comment relates to the context of the video. That is, people trying to put you down for enjoying something 'nerdy'
As with all things, there are levels to nerddom and always have been. Henry Cavill might be a gamer and love comics, but he's also a successful actor and hunk. He's not spending 8 hours a day sitting in his Gfuel gaming chair speed running Super Mario 64. Margot Robbie may be a huge Harry Potter fan, but she's also a great actress and model. She's not attending Harry Potter LARPing conventions every month.
To be fair Henry Cavill is way nerdier than the average videogame/fantasy fan. He just also has a job and life outside of that stuff which is what makes it attractive, he's functional compared to the stereotype.
That’s the thing. Being a Gamer is not a bad thing. Being a useless human being that only do one specific thing that doesn’t benefit his life or society (playing games) everyday without doing anything useful is. All The bad gamers do is consuming. They are consuming games, food, electricity, their parents money, etc. without actually producing something. Or at least, they work to the bare minimum to get their gamer life going.
@@sigasana441 let me guess, you know someone like this.
@@jackcall28 unfortunately, i do. And the way that person’s family accommodates it as if it’s normal for an adult not leaving home and just play games, and actually being proud to buy high-end computer parts with god knows where the money from.
@@sigasana441 you do know you can work from home right? Coding, software development, copywriting, content creation just to name a few
Recommended for you: How To Be Attractive When You’re A Nerd
RUclips decided you have been on here a lot and made some assumptions that a) you must be a nerd and b) you must not be attractive. Please press 1 to confirm or press 0 to speak to the operator
Lol
😭
"Everybody seems normal until you get to know them better."
Not sure where it originated, but I rather enjoy blaming Mark Twain for it... Doesn't make it any less true. ;o)
Jazz Musicians... am I right?
looking good and being confident can make literally anything attractive
And get you hated by a lot of people even if you have the same pleasant personality that everyone loves in your less good looking sibling.
Agreed. Henry Cavill was a bad example for this video: an attractive and confident in-shape male somehow being attractive?! Imagine the thought!
@@slofty bro just talk to other people
@@philippezevenberg1332 Thanks, I've done that my whole life. And let me tell you, exactly to my point as before-- once I hit a certain age people actually stopped being defensive jerks. Same person, same style of speaking, conversation strike-up, etc. and completely different outcome.
I've known women that have also modeled and everyone thinks that life is perfect for them, everything being within reach, etc. What a bunch of overblown baloney. They are despised by most people even if they are intelligent, polite, well-spoken, and so on. Two that I have stayed friends with for decades happily embrace aging as well. If you're near a 10 without trying/makeup, you actually gain a lot when you lose your youth/looks.
@@slofty Well I hope you get some well-deserved sleep, my good sir.
The main issue is that when people "own" their nerdiness, they completely miss the point. They go way too deep way too fast and talk about nothing else. My favorite point of this video is to give the other person opportunities to opt in or opt out. That's just great advice for conversations in general.
"how to be attractive..."
"be... Henry Cavill"
thanks
Lol
Hit the gym, eat healthy. You're welcome.
@@sienkiewiczmonika1161 It´s Henry´s job to be attractive, going to the gym and eating healthy is as much part of his job as knowing how to code or knowing how to perform surgeries is part of people who are specialists in these areas. And these people don´t have time to spend hours in the gym every day. Eating healthy is a science fiction for the most of peope with their work schedule.
Wake up to the reality of normal people before you start to give "great" advices. You are incredibly naive.
@You alright boi ? You're delusional if you think Henry Cavill is unattractive. If he wasn't famous, he would still receive lots of interest from women. His money doesn't make him attractive. He's attractive because he has a very good looking face. Hollywood celebs, on average, are good looking, which allows them to make more money.
As someone with autism, sometimes I get carried away telling people about my intense special interests. This is helpful to hear about just from the aspect of trying to learn about how have better conversations. Thanks!
@@djanon22 I've been diagnosed when I was 16, if I can give you an advice, don't ask yourself what part of your personality comes from the autism and what part comes from you. That's what I did and it drove me to a two years existential crisis and a major depression. Now the way I see it is that the autism was a tool in my development and that everything I do is me, including what's influenced by the autism in one way or another.
"How to Make Nerdiness Attractive"
Step 1: *Be attractive.*
your comment is highly underrated! A very attractive person can make their nerdiness shine but an idividual thats not attractive, can put people off with their nerdiness. How many nerds in college that you know get laid on a consistent basis?
Exactly lol, if these guys didn't look like they did, they'd be subduing their nerdiness. They know that it's something "surprising" they can use about themselves to project themselves a bit more. That's al. They know it helps highlight their looks further, in a different way.
@@user-kb1hw2yq2f Most of them. It's college,everyone is drunk, horny, and have no standards or self respect lol.
@@user-kb1hw2yq2f I think nerds don't get laid because we aren't confident a lot of times.
Yeah, there isn’t much else to say.
Just transform into Bully Maguire and you’ll win her over. It’s that easy.
"Now dig on this"
Gotta make sure to put some dirt in her eye while you're at it
“Stings, doesn’t it?”
Stop lecturing me, please!
You gonna cry?
As a teenage girl who was heavily into comics, sci-fi, Monty Python, and electronica in the 80’s - when that was NOT considered cool - I agree that owning it is the first step. You may not be attractive to everyone - but you’ll come across as *very* attractive to people who share your interests and are eager to find someone to talk about them with.
I don’t disagree with the underlying principle, but I’m not sure how useful being attractive to people who share your interests is to men trying to attract women who are into things that are overwhelmingly populated with men.
not being embarrassed about your hobbies is important, but that should come from a sincere conviction that they are worth your time and attention anyway. if you have that conviction, you shouldn’t let people’s opinions of them cow you. if you don’t, you probably are stuck in a habitual time sink that you would be better off discarding. you can hardly expect someone else to put up with something you do if you yourself don’t even really approve of it.
In my experience having shared interests has made zero difference if there's little or no attraction to begin with. It's possibly the #1 most overrated idea in dating. Having a common hobby will NOT make you more attractive.
Word Kimberly. Preach it. This is in the friendship sense.
sadly 95% are males in these hobbies . i am 30 now and i had to hide my hobbies in order to maintain a social status . at first i was honest but after seeing the negative effects especially if you are a boy .... soul-crushing . if you are a girl you are the 5% rare unicorn who 95% dream of ..
@@olderbadboy I'm a teenage girl with undeniably stereotypical male interests (math, programming, electronics, mechanics, avionics, quantum physics, you name it... no video games though) and I'm 110% sure no guy dreams of me as their significant other. Some guys get intimidated by me because I probably know more about these subjects than they do, while most girls just downright avoid me for obvious reasons. It doesn't help that I look like a stereotypical nerd (Asian, large glasses, entire wardrobe composed of black and grey clothes, relatively unkempt appearance) and act like one as well (mediocre conversational skills, subliminal superiority complex over most peers, no social media accounts besides RUclips and Reddit purely out of apathy). I guess I'll just stay forever alone 🥴
How to make nerdiness attractive
1. Be Henry Cavill
Halo effect. When a person is thought of positively in the first place (being attractive does that) then we spin every trait they have into something positive, to stay in what we believe. The horn effect is the opposite of that (someone who's not attractive and a nerd will be called a loser.)
Everyone can be Henry Cavill in their own way. I'm pretty sure most gaming nerds (like myself) can take a few hours out of the week to also pursue something like...i don't know lifting weights, learning an instrument etc....grooming yourself. Be proud of all of your interests, that's the key though.
@@mikeet207 Both is kinda true. Being attractive is like playing life in easy mode, as it almost everything in life easier. I'm a short balding 33 year old with Aspergers, having an Adonis body doesn't really help much with anything. People can subconsciously feel that you are uncomfortable which makes them uncomfortable. But i do know tall beautiful people that have a worse case of Aspergers who has girlfriends, hookups and plenty of friends. So you can't really just be Henry Cavil with a little work.
@@mikeet207 henry cavil is also ridiculously handsome, let’s be real
@@kim8dk
*"having an Adonis body doesn't really help much with anything"*
Couldn't hurt though. How can you possibly state that without achieving it first?
@@CrimsonWolf69 Yeah i state that because i have it, and i had it for many years. Obviously it doesn't hurt but it doesn't mean that much when you're already short with receding hairlines and is socially awkward. Most women want tall, handsome & with social capital. An adonis body is the lowest in any of these traits in appealing to women.
People don't think being nerd isn't atractive. Even when I was a teenager, there was guys who was popular and didn't have problem showing they like something nerd. What isn't atractive is scream "Rasengan" during the recces or act weird, have a bad posture, being alone or just talk about the same thing (like games and comics)....
Yeah, this
damn being alone ain’t attractive
Or knowledge. I didn't find out women at cared about posture until I was around 30. At 35 I'm just now seeing how my small over bite makes me 20% uglier.
I had no clue women were INTO me when I had a mohawk. Etc.
No one told me these things in all the 1000s of conversations of why I wasn't successful dating.
@@jayhovah5621 Yeah sometimes its small things that make a person attractive....like I always had my hair in a bun or braid, it wasnt until i cut it or let it freefall that i started to get compliments.... I didnt put makeup on or change my clothes or hobbies or anything...just the hair alone made a difference.
I agree with you. I'm also an anime fan but I got annoyed when someone is doing nerdy things or like Kpoppers fangirling, screaming at school. It's like they don't care about the others. I don't mean that they shouldn't be themselves but to consider the environment. If they're doing something like that in a convenient time and place like Cosplay event or concerts, that's totally fine.
It was never nerdiness that was unattractive, its always been the social awkwardness and lack of social awareness that a lot of nerdy people tend to possess. Nerding out over something just shows passion. Being cool is the ability to allow people to feel comfortable around you, and to be relatable. They aren't mutually exclusive. The problem with the 'unattractive' type of nerdiness is not being able to present things in a relatable and accessible way.
An ex of mine once said that out of all her boyfriends, I'm the only one she didn't mind playing video games.
No matter how uninterested she was and what I was playing or her ability to play, I always told her why I wanted to play the game, what was awesome about it and offered to teach her how to play it if she was interested.
Just that little bit of trying to include her went a long way even though I knew she would never care about the actual things I was talking about
Your profile pic LMAOOOOO
@@rambutan_lychee9255 so it is still public 😁
It's been a long time since somebody called that out 🤣
@@jayhovah5621 Is it a broom against a wall?
@@toastarkat yes
@@toastarkat yep
Speaking as one growing up as a full-fledged nerd (D&D, video games, never went to prom you name it) and eventually breaking out of that stigma, there are a couple of things that this video misses:
First, almost none of the people in these videos are nerds; they have some nerdy hobbies but that doesn't make them a nerd.
Second, having some nerdy qualities is typically more attractive than just being a 100% nerd in everything. Not that the latter is bad or worse, but it does limit your social options.
Third, the most important skill is socializing, and there's no shortcut around it but to keep trying. I'm antisocial and prefer being in my own shell, but there are times where you have to force yourself out of your comfort zone, learning how to adapt while playing to your strengths.
Successful people don't become that way overnight. What most people see at a glance wealth, a great career, purpose is the result of hard work and hustle over time. I pray that anyone who reads this will be Successful in life
You are right, to be a successful person in life require him or her of hard work and time
The thing about been successful is working toward it and not going the other way round
You're right. Been thinking of going into gold and cryptocurrency
It's obvious everyone is going into investing cryptocurrency especially BTC
Investment is the key to achieving success with the current pandemic slowing down so many businesses
Own your nerdy side. People will see what you show them. If you express your interests and hobbies with passion, then they will view you as a confident person who doesn't care what others think. -Nick
1. Make your nerdy stream approachable
2. Convey your passion but signal that you're not hellbent on talking about only that particular thing.
3. Make sure you convey a context that suggests you're anchored in generally "normal" realms and allow your nerdiness to be the special ingridient.
4. Be attractive when you nerdy side is completely disregarded!
4 is key.
5. Look like Henry Cavill
'I don't need you to like what I like for me to keep liking it.'
@@dubbcee1000 not required and also included in 4. Honestly using Cavill is great to get the point across, but he's so freakishly good looking that it's comical. By being attractive i meant a package of attributes. Being above average handsome helps. Cheers
Being attractive is not just looks! Its also being confident and being able to talk to others. Just want to throw that out their for the ppl who think physical traits are the only thing that matter for attraction
Isn’t that basically the difference between nerd and geek? I know everyone seems to have a different understanding of the terms but that’s the difference for me
Mila Kunis is such a master of interpersonal skills. Down to earth, infectious personality, smart, and witty. Wish her and Ashton all the best.
How to be attractive and be a nerd:
Step 1. Be a nerd
Step 2. Be attractive
Flawless victory. Wayne wins.
Underated comment
Nice.
A key lesson to learn; being nerdy can be incredibly attractive or sexy because you are passionate to something or got many interests.
Having different hobbies just shows you are willing to explore and try out new things that can be fun.
Don't associate the old slang term of "nerd" with something negative, because it absolutely is not.
Gym bros are nerdy, gamers are nerdy, fashion enthusiasts are nerdy, cooks are nerdy and etc.... Even the people at Charisma On Command ;)
Point is... Most of us got things we're passionate / nerdy about, something we truly enjoy.
I think it just boils down to how you project it, and how approachable you are to others who seems interested to know more about it.
To quote @Alex Moukala Music "Point 3 in the video is absolutely fundamental."
So the general idea is to turn "nerd" into a meaningless word by using it everywhere it doesn't apply until nobody knows what it means anymore.
@@hoodaticus "Don't associate the old slang term of "nerd" with something negative, because it absolutely is not."
Please do explain more in depth what you mean... Not quite sure where you are going with this?
@@Matt_Nor That quote you made isn't me bro.
@@hoodaticus I'm aware of that. It is my own comment that i pasted in because i don't see what you meant with your comment, in relation to "not associating nerd with something negative."
Please explain what you tried to get across with your comment.
Great video once again! Expressing your interest is honestly one of the easiest way to make (genuine) friends. I love Spider-Man and i wear a compression shirt with the suit print in the gym. May look silly at first, but I have made so much friends because of expressing that interest. A lot of them call me Spider-Man haha. It´s honestly very endearing when someone has an excitement. Especially like you said when their fights lights up when you ask them a question about it.
About the other tip about making your hobbies relatable, that works so nice as well. Using Spider-Man as an example again lool but i often talk about how he leads a double life with tons of responsibilities, as that is relatable to people. Almost every hobby can be connected to a deeper value to be honest.
That goofy moment of Travis Willingham yelling "WE PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGOOOONS!" has become contagious and now the whole cast yells it every single episode.
Lol, dissing nerds used to be the lowest of low hanging fruit. I assume thats why so many talk show hosts went for it. Now all it does is date you. Nerd renaissance!
Thought the lowest hanging fruits were less of a person's choices!? - short, fat, scrawny, bald, poor, etc..
@@jayhovah5621 yeah but being fat is more than likely their choice.
@@palatineeso3780 no... Theres a different between fat and obese.
@@jayhovah5621 what does that even have to do with what i just said lmao.
@@palatineeso3780 being fat isn't a choice for some people. Diabetes, big bones, thyroid, etc
I have recently got a lot of new friends and I have openly told them about my D&D hobby, and actually just showing that you like it and are not hiding it, has made them more interested, they ask questions and wanted to see my dice and everything. It does wonders to just be confident with your interests.
How to be attractive as a nerd:
1. Get religion
2. Put some dirt in their eye
3. Miss the part where that's your problem
I am often told my passion for my nerdy hobbies is endearing. I made gardening and my obsession with medieval armour attractive my guys.
In 2 years of following charisma on command I noticed two things:
I became a lot more charismatic.
The videos have gotten better and better.
We went from case study of a single interview to videos such as this, with summary and many examples.
Keep up the good work!
Excellent video! If you haven't done so already, could you please make a video about dealing with passive aggressive people? They are the hardest people to deal with because they're not being overtly mean but they add a very heavy veneer of ambiguity to a lot of things they say.
I love how you use Henry Cavill in the thumbnail for video about nerdiness lol
Pro Tips, well said. Might also be wise to mention that more and more people are becoming some type of gamers. Digital, board, etc. Thanks for posting. 💪🔥
EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. Is a nerd in some way, shape, or form. If we weren't nerds, we'd be boring AF.
I admit I didn’t watch the video. But the thumb nail brought me here to say this:
“How to be attractive when you’re a nerd”
Step 1: Look like Superman
Hank Green is a good example of charismatic nerdyness
This video seems pretty spot on to me. Reading some of the below commits leads me to think a lot of people didn't get the big picture here. Diversity, confidence and practice are what this is all about and not be ashamed what you like. I also feel that variety is the spice of life and that's why I have so many interests. Any one thing too much can cause burnout....including working on your physical appearance.
Interviewer: Xbox or Playstation?
Henry Cavill: PC
Gamers: He is the one!
Using “it’s like” to relate with their interests sounds super effective. It’s like I can just make up any scenario right now and you can imagine the rest.
Whoa this dude is giving good advice. Usually people that make these sort of videos do it to take advantage of vulnerable people. Good on you bro.
Step 1: Look handsome
Rule number one: be physically attractive
Oh Jarod I miss you so much 😫😭 thank you for including him in a clip. He would be so ecstatic!
This video is very good. These are things that I've been doing unknowingly for years and I never understood why people wanted to hang out with me. I asked one of my friends why they like hanging out with me and they told me "it's your pure enthusiasm for not only what you're personally interested in but what others are interested in." Just being enthusiastic about what you're interested in is half of it. You have to give them the enthusiasm for what they're interested in and engage. Even if you're not necessarily "interested" in the topic, if you actually listen, engage, and ask questions, you learn a lot. (Also. The quote from my friend isn't verbatim. It got to the same point though)
I picked up on the need to "become relatable" a few years back. My interests are really nerdy and really technical, so there's little chance for the typical person to understand or value them. I don't bother telling people I like Star Trek anymore, because I get the same boring "Is that the one with the wookie?" type jokes. Part of becoming relatable was just learning how to show interest in conversations. Part of it was finding more "normie" things to be interested in. Not sure how well I did there since I've picked up improv, dancing, going to theatre, and hitting the gym! :D I haven't tried the skill of relating my interests to something more familiar to the people I talk too. I'm not sure how I could do that with something like programming, but it could be useful.
Question: How do you get a diverse set of hobbies? MOST people barely have time for one hobby. Work, taking care of your domicile, trying to squeeze an hour or two of a hobby into your limited time off. You need to do a video on how to seem interesting when most of your life is dedicated to your job. I would say career, but people with careers have turned their job into a hobby or vice versa. I'm talking about the vast majority of people that are tied down to a job they hate and have to work 60+ hours a week just to survive.
You can use your time while eg. doing things around the house or on the way to work by listening to audiobooks and podcast on various topics, easiest way to expand your knowledge and interests.
My main hobby is watching anime, as it may be obvious.
Besides things you have to physically be at to experience, like doing a sport or watching a play, one thing that helps a lot is to branch out from your main to different topics that you may encounter there.
Many a time I'd talk about a topic with a friend and introduce them to some anime they'd probably find interest in because it talks about those topics.
It's a bit like following Wikipedia links, they lead you to things you may not have thought would be related.
If your main thing is your job, I would find things that complement my job.
I do programming and although I don't hate it, it usually doesn't seep into my "free time".
When I work, that's just what I do.
But from there besides the obvious (Mathematics and technology), I also learnt about psychology and philosophy (useful in AI/Neural networks), biology and physical fitness (robotics learns a lot from it), and finance (database programming loves money) among others.
When I was stuck in an international call center, I learnt about communication and other countries/cultures.
When I was doing hotel front-desking for a resort, I learnt to play golf with the clients and started my tech support chops.
Nihal also has a good point in that reading or listening to podcasts/radio is a quick way of expanding your comfort zone. I love reading high fantasy, and I've learned a lot about politics, language and even geology from reading (listening to) authors like Tolkien, N. K. Jemisin and Pat Rothfuss. Many a commute were filled with books.
In the end, what I want to say is that you can find a broad catalogue of things to talk about this way.
@@Eriolkun12 You obviously have a LOT more free time to dedicate to researching topics than the average single parent with 2 jobs, which is becoming the standard for living in the U.S.
@@markmitera4521 True, I don't have kids. But I also don't live in the US, where the economic opportunities are way better than in other countries. Flipping burgers in America earns the same or more as an IT engineer earns where I lived. The cost of living is different, but it wasn't major enough to offset the difference anyways.
But I digress. I can't talk about any singular person's circumstances or jobs because I'm not them.
The point is to find opportunities to mix the time you "work" with the time you find new topics.
I've had to hold on to two jobs before my life now as well, and it really doesn't change what I said. I listened to podcasts during my commute between places and scrounged what I could with the dead end jobs I had. It's up to you to determine where you can squeeze some time to develop yourself, else nothing will change if you keep doing the same every day.
Yep. They are so out of touch with reality it hurts. They are the last ones who should give advices to anyone.
this is an amazing video. I love dungeons and dragons, I do weightlifting, and I am a pole vaulter at my high-school. Sometimes I am embarrassed to say stuff about any one of these things, but now I know it's best to show my uniqueness. thanks
Quite interesting video, thank you, perfect timing because I needed to watch something like that today. Stay safe 👍
What I have learned from this video: 1. Be attractive (good looking) 2. Don't be ugly.
I did actually find one nit-pick, and probably worth a video on it's own: There is a benefit to being embarrassed (speaking slowly, looking down, being hesitant), even to charisma as you more bombastically describe it. Being vulnerable or embarrassed shows your trust of the other person(s), which endears you to them and earns their trust. All the great public speakers, especially comedians, use this 'trick', but it 'works' in all contexts. Sometimes showing bravery means showing weakness.
Yup!!
I love your content and I thank you guys for every tipp in your videos. I take notes every time I watch one😁. Sadly your program is to expensive for me but ceep on doing what you doing you guys are amazing. Greetings from Germany 🇩🇪 by the way.
Even after the Charisma University course, these videos are like extra credit!
Being 6ft+ and muscular,with chiseled face and thick black hair. If you have these attributes,you can be anything and boyfriend/husband material.
If you focus on improving what you can control instead of looking for reasons why you’ll fail, life is going to get a lot better. I promise you that.
You may not be tall or muscular. But you can start eating healthier and working out. Focus on what you can control
@@crnzsrt Oh I am doing that,alright. Really got ambitious over last couple of months. I do think I am late since I am 23 and kinda behind on everyone else,but I have picture in my mind of what I want to become,what kind of man I wanna be and that's where I find my motivation.
I love this channel and your realism that Hollywood actors are also physically more attractive than your average person. But I have to say, I can't listen to anything in this video, Henry Cavill just IS attractive at some level very very few will ever obtain. He's not attractive because of his nerdiness, his nerdiness is attractive because it's his
Yes, I have to agree with you, I also think that in not only this video, but other on the subject of attractiveness maybe the use of already attractive people to explain the subject is not the best way to go, is like you said, he is just attractive, so doesn't really matter if his is or is not a nerd
That's kind of a pesemistic way of viewing things, there has to be some rhyme and reason to what makes him attractive! Think about it, if he wasn't into all his cool nerdy stuff then he'd be just another hollywood meat-head. I love him dispite not being a huge fan of all his work because of his hobbies and the person he is. Looking for the reasons behind why we hold our role models to such a high regard is way more productive then just blindly being in enamored with them!
@@nickbecerra9580 Agree with this. He´s still attractive if he just played great roles and left it there, but the fact he talks a lot about cool stuff really adds into it. Besides, these tips will make you more attractive, and if you´re already attractive, which a lot of people are or can be, it has a very significant effect
Like if you combine the tip of getting a good haircut and applying the charisma tips from this video, you bet there will be a significant effect. Will it be on the same level as Henry ? Probably not, little chance. But it´s still going to be there on a reasonable level and add to your attractiveness.
Attractiveness helps but it's not everything. There are plenty of good looking people who are as bland as can be. In fact, that blandness can actually decrease one's perception of their attractiveness.
Tbh, if i had to show someone your channel, i think this video is a pretty good summary of what you can find ! I really liked it !
Nice that they brought up the Hand of Vecna. Joe's a huge nerd and that scene was shockingly insane!
Hey guys can y'all please, please do a video on James Spader's character of Raymond “Red” Reddington from The Blacklist, i mean not only is he a total badass but he's also super smart and confident and doesn't care what others think of him at all, he would be great to do a video on i think.
"Common cues that make someone think you are embarassed:
1: low volume
2: looking down"
Me screaming and looking up to the skies while speaking:
I dont know if its just me but i feel like this video is better then your latest previous videos, even though i actually already was following ur list, or maybe i was just hungry for some content anyway great job keep it up
I absolutely needed this video earlier in life, but i am glad i have it now :D i learned some of this on my own, but it is nice to have all in one accessible place. One suggestion, change the title to “How to be attractive when you have nerdy hobbies” to get more views! I know i am a nerd so it doesn’t bother me much now, but I know that some nerds have low self esteem or don’t like the word “nerd” as their identity and might be quick to dismiss this awesome video. Thanks again for the tips:)
To summarise the video: being a nerd doesn't mean that you have to be socially awkward.
#4 has to come first. Nerdiness isn’t attractive in a vacuum. You have to be physically attractive for nerdiness to be endearing. Even people with nerdy hobbies find other nerdy people off putting.
This was an excellent video! It’s really just owning who you are, nerd or not.
So close to 5mil !! I'm hyped for you !!
“Get a good haircut.”
Me who’s going bald: 👨🦲
If you're losing your hair then just shave it off, a lot of guys look really hot bald.
That's a terrible example, the guy is just tall and handsome. He can literraly do whatever he wants and still get p***y.
Just change that guy with a short and ugly guy and it's just pointless no matter how confident he is.
The quick cut to Patrick Bateman when discussing having surprising diverse interests 😂
This channel just became my favorite, today. I can't stop watching.
By being comfortable for being one
Step 1 be born incredibly handsome
Step 2 become world famous
Goal: achieved
most these people in this video are horrible examples of nerds anyway
I love what this channel does these vids have changed my mindset
The "give people a chance to opt out" is a big one! Most people like talking more than they like listening, so even if they've already "opted in" you might check in occasionally to give them another chance to opt out/move on... or just change the subject to a question about them if they don't seem 100% engaged and pulling details out of you. It can be easy to miss someone who's checked out when you're super passionate unless you're really looking for it.
I feel like a lot of these can be applied to anyone who bases their entire personality around one thing. Workaholics, gym rats, living sustainably etc any one trait taken to the extreme is going to turn off anyone who isn’t on THAT level with you.
True, I think that's a good summary. Being one-sided is exhausting.
This is one of the most practically applicable videos you've made. Bravo, gents!
Hi CoC. I love your videos. I don’t know if you’ve covered this topic yet but I’ve been struggling with trying to deal with people who are condescending. What’s the best way to react to people who are treating you like you’re simple? Especially when you’re anything but. Keep up the amazing content!
5M coming up!
Great work as always, thank you!
#5 is the biggest one for me. You can either try to win a bunch of shallow "friends" by hiding your interests of you can win a few true connections who share your enthusiasm. I'm writing this comment to remind myself to focus on the latter
"there's nothing wrong with being overweight except the way you look" and the way you feel, and the way your body is trying to survive
100% it kills you
"being whiling to risk a negative impression" I'm gonna keep this in mind for every social interaction
Thank you for this! Amazing content 🤙🏼
How To Make Nerdiness Attractive? Just have Cavill's face and body. If you want to add Cavill's charisma and wealth, that's a plus.
yea i really hope he makes a rebuttal video to arguments like these, because youre right, that really is the point here, and im hoping theres some kind of counterargument to it. The video would be so much better if he made a point on how to be an attractive nerd without having cavills looks. But of course he has to put a chad with a square jaw on the thumbnail photo... horrible example and opportunity to explain real nerds instead of celebrity narcs
Nerdiness is attractive as long as you don't look like a nerd
What does looking like a nerd even mean though? People look the way they look based on their learned sense of style, level of effort, and genetics, regardless of interests. Stereotype is just that nerds don't invest a lot of effort, and don't care about style or fashion, but that is far from absolute, and there have always been genetically gifted nerds too.
I'm not a nerd but still found a ton of useful thought pattern techniques in this video. well done
Own your nerdiness and don't be afraid to venture out into learning some physical stuff, too. I absolutely LOVE the faces of people when I show up to D&D:Adventurer's League. I do not look like I belong there, AT ALL. I do construction, I'm tall, and I'm not bad looking. They all told me later that they thought I was going to mess with and bully them for playing D&D. I told them, "This is where I can be myself, y'all. Relax.". I still go, when I get off work early enough.
Edit: typos
Really helped me cause I have a lot of information and knowledge to discuss about but whenever I do . My friends tell me to shut up everytime I try to give an abstract analysis on something
Same lol I go into monologue mode so fast
Those aren't friends
sounds like u need new friends
Well actually they aren't that bad . But the thing is a majority of my friends are quite different . I mean it depends on the type of person. I have got two friends who are like me and like discussion about lot of various topics . I know there are lot of these kind of people but here where I live . People are different .
Actually I am the type of guy to mix with every kind of people so
those tell me to shut up don't really like theoretical discussion and of course among them , randomly starting those nerdy discussion will make me look like that I am trying to act smart . But they will be interested if you say things in their way i.e by randomly cussing between sentence for no reason and along with humour instead of saying things like Jordan Peterson . The thing is that they are still immature . But still they are good with me when I have fun and and make jokes with them ( Even though those jokes are mostly cussing instead of being creative ).
This happens because I haven't got enough social power in that circle but I am currently working on gaining power there and then slowly change hoe they think
Now if I try to discuss knowledge among my school friends . No one will even tell me to shut up as I have got social dominance there . Moreover in advantage I have got another guy who also likes these kind of abstract discussions and also I get good grades and have enough respect .
Instead the reaction there will be "Wow bro , you know a lot of things " . So it's really depends on the type of people and social power .
@@tommyshelby8119 No offend mate but based on your comments you sound like someone straight outta the subreddit r/iamverysmart
This is not counting with the "halo effect" that already attractive people makes on us, you can be totally nerdy and talk extensively about your hobbies but if you look like Henry Cavill you are going to have all the attention. But in the contrary, if you are super charming and elevate the conversation to a certain point but being a much more "regular" person you might not having the same attention because this psychological effect.
Appealing, fit, sexy people might have an effect on how you see them even if what they say is not that interesting at all.
I have just subscribed and congrats for 5M in advance 👑🀄
14:49 The smiley face at the end of the email is going to give me nightmares xD
Step one: Jawline
Step two: Hunter eyes
Step three: 6,2"+
Theres nothing wrong with being fat?
Seriously? It's the most unhealthy thing you can do to yourself. Obesity causes more health complications than smoking.
Yeah absolutely terrible advice there, all to avoid being so-called "mean". I say it's meaner to coddle unhealthy people until they die.
This feels like the Tom Brady SNL skit with the instructional video on how to avoid complaints of sexual harassment in the workplace. "Step 1: Be handsome."
Did someone else rewind the Travis D&D gag a couple of times just laughing?
"How to be attractive when you're a nerd" illustrated with a picture of Henry Cavill--thank you, I haven't laughed so hard in a long time!
This video was really good, it pretty much reinforces a lot of things I've been thinking about.
Personally, I'm a nerd. I like videogames, I like anime, I like fantasy type other world media in general. Of course, that's not the only stuff I like though. I do like other things like metal, playing guitar, traveling, kite surfing, philosophy, and trying to do cool stuff in general. I personally try to hide my complete obsession with anime in real life though because most people see it as something to be ashamed of, but in reality, the best stories unlike anything I've ever seen before in western media have been in anime.
I guess what I got out of this is, relate your interests to things you know other people know or like. So be like "oh yeah, it's kind of like squidgame" or whatever. Also don't be ashamed to talk about it, just don't go in too deep, and of course leave a way for people to change the conversation if it's not something their interested in learning about.
If you have an interest you’re embarrassed about, I have realized that it is best to own it but not to let it own you.
You absolutely need to do a video about Peter McKinnon. Confident, humble, ridiculously nice, unashamedly nerdy... there would be so much to talk about.
How to be attractive when you’re a nerd: (1) be good looking, (2) don’t be ugly.
Be successful and an actor. Is some of it to
How to be attractive in easy way;
- Be named Chris
3:38 Dont ask me how I know this, but the study cited here was formed by but also later disproven by Albert Mehrabian. Not to say that this detracts from your video. Love the work, keep it up!
Hello Ben and Charlie, I think you should consider making videos on the Professor and Berlin from Money heist series