I believe siblings should be kept together. Siblings are the only constant that they have in life. I was adopted with my sister and she was always my constant.
There are situations where it might make sense to separate them. Like, if one is abusing the other (which sometimes happens with children who spent time in an abusive home). Or if they have never actually met, e.g. if one was already in foster care for a couple years and about to be adopted by their foster parents, who they already know and love, should the adoption be cancelled if a new sibling is born and the adoptive parents aren't able to adopt it? Or some kids have six half siblings on their mother's side and six half siblings on their fathers side, and may barely know most of them. It's different if they have grown up together and love each other and have a close relationship. But I think the relationship they have is more important than the genes.
The amount of information you give is amazing and so helpful. It really sparks a lot of thought that I may not have arrived at on my own or until it happened. Don’t stop doing these videos! I will watch every single one 😆
We are almost done with our homestudy and we are looking for siblings. For all the reasons you state, and also because we think having siblings is enriching for the children too.
Thank you so much for making these videos. My husband and I have been planning on adopting siblings for years, and your experience is an invaluable resource!
Im the oldest and I was separated from my two brothers and me and my sister was placed with a foster family. It was hard to adjust but we had visitations and sleep overs. Knowing that they weren't completely alone helped a lot.
It’s interesting cuz a lot of it I remember just as an older sibling in a “normal” home. I was always more upset at what I felt was an injustice for my sisters than for myself, we instigated things, we were upset together, but we were best friends and I love them more than anything and I can’t imagine going through anything difficult and tramautic without them
@@JesReally there is totally a normal level of that in every sibling relationship :) it just is just sometimes on a larger scale with kids who have experienced trauma.
Hi there! Even though this came out a year ago, I want to thank you for already touching on some of the things I asked a few days ago about children parenting younger siblings. I'm looking forward to a future video on that! After reading your reply I started thinking about my paternal grandmother. She was born in 1900. She came from a very large family where she had to take care of chores and younger siblings as soon as she was able. She told me that from the time she was 12 she was like a mother to her youngest siblings. Several of her brothers fought and died in WW1. She married young and had 8 children of her own. The first died as a baby, but 7 (5 boys and 2 girls) lived. Her husband died fairly young and after that she raised all those kids on her own, never marrying again. Of course the church and community all helped out, otherwise I don't know how they would have made it, especially through the Depression. My dad was boy #4, and he often jokingly likened it to being a younger cub in a wolf pack, but really all the brothers were thick as thieves and would do anything for each other. His 3 older brothers fought in WW2, but mercifully none were seriously injured. Dad joined the Air Force in the 1950's and barely escaped getting sent to fight in Korea, instead going to occupied Germany, for which my brother and I will be forever grateful because if he'd died in Korea we obviously wouldn't be here! 😊 I guess all that's to say that for most of history, children working and raising siblings was sadly quite common. The fact that it's different in many countries today is a wonderful blessing, which I'm so glad to see you passing on to your kids! I hope you didn't mind hearing a bit of my family history. My grandparents and parents have all passed on, but I'm glad I can reflect on what I know of their lives and appreciate all that they went through. Thanks again for a wonderful video!
Can you do a video about what your kids call you? Do they call you mom and dad right from the beginning…or how to you get to that? Also, how do you incorporate adopted children into things that would be “normal” with birth children, but might be awkward with adopted children…such as snuggles in bed or nudity?
I don’t think I can adopt multiple kids at once, but I wouldn’t separate a sibling group 😢. I just know a lot of sibling groups do in foster care & in adoption, a lot of people can’t add multiple kids at once, especially if it’s a large sibling group.
I'm planning to be a single adoptive parent. Would you recommend siblings in my case? I come from a big family and know the importance of siblings but at the same time I'm worried to take more than I can chew. Any tips? 😧
I don’t think there’s any reason you can’t take siblings. If I were single, I personally wouldn’t take on more than 2 just because I’d find it stressful, but you have to evaluate yourself and think about what you can handle! You may want to consider doing respite care for a while and see how you like it. That can be a great way to test the waters and see what ages and number of children you can handle well.
My wish since i was very young like preteen was to be a foster/adoption parent. ❤ one of my 5 siblings that had been placed in foster care had the best foster parents and I loved them to death. They showed me the live my parents wouldnt give me. ❤ i want to do that some day its my goal to be a parent to children that deserve healthy parents and love ❤ 🎉🎉 children are definitely the soul of our world. ❤ they deserve to be happy and have someone to understand what they are feeling is true feelings and not something scary. & siblings should never be split apart unless its a case where they absolutely need to be.
I will probably make a video about this sometime, but one book off the top of my head is “Telling the Truth to Your Adoptive or Foster Child.” I found that book so helpful in knowing how to talk to kids about their backgrounds in an age appropriate way!
If you have the max kids in your home that your state allows and the siblings you adopted end up with a baby sibling who needs placement will they make exceptions to keep them together or no? Texas “only” allows six kids whether bio or adopted.
Our process has not been a quick one. I followed your advice and had the book ready for our future sibling group. They were receptive and we are meeting them next week 🤞🏼
I am currently helping my sister care for her three kids while she is in nursing school. I am very interested in adopting a sibling pair in the future. Im only 23 so I am not financially in a place where I can become a parent yet. I have thought about doing foster care first before going for adoption. Do you think that would be a smart decision?
I think it could be good to have some experience fostering first! You could also be a respite caregiver, which is when you would have kids in your home for shorter stays!
I mean, I suppose any kids could do that, but I’ve never heard of it happening. The biggest issue we dealt with was the older sibling always trying to parent the younger.
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I believe siblings should be kept together. Siblings are the only constant that they have in life. I was adopted with my sister and she was always my constant.
That’s so great that you and your sister were able to stay together ❤️
I agree, it’s just not always a possibility.
A lot of foster & adoptive homes can’t take on multiple children at once.
There are situations where it might make sense to separate them. Like, if one is abusing the other (which sometimes happens with children who spent time in an abusive home). Or if they have never actually met, e.g. if one was already in foster care for a couple years and about to be adopted by their foster parents, who they already know and love, should the adoption be cancelled if a new sibling is born and the adoptive parents aren't able to adopt it? Or some kids have six half siblings on their mother's side and six half siblings on their fathers side, and may barely know most of them. It's different if they have grown up together and love each other and have a close relationship. But I think the relationship they have is more important than the genes.
The amount of information you give is amazing and so helpful. It really sparks a lot of thought that I may not have arrived at on my own or until it happened. Don’t stop doing these videos! I will watch every single one 😆
Glad to be of help! :)
I could only ever see myself adopting siblings. I don’t know if I could ever adopt just one child unless I had other kids already.
We are almost done with our homestudy and we are looking for siblings. For all the reasons you state, and also because we think having siblings is enriching for the children too.
Thank you so much for making these videos. My husband and I have been planning on adopting siblings for years, and your experience is an invaluable resource!
We are considering becoming foster parents. Your videos are invaluable. Thank you.
I’m so glad they are helpful! :)
Im the oldest and I was separated from my two brothers and me and my sister was placed with a foster family. It was hard to adjust but we had visitations and sleep overs. Knowing that they weren't completely alone helped a lot.
I’m glad you were still able to have visits and sleepovers! It would be so hard to be separated from your siblings ❤️
Thanks! My husband and I are on this path, really appreciate your insight!
It’s interesting cuz a lot of it I remember just as an older sibling in a “normal” home. I was always more upset at what I felt was an injustice for my sisters than for myself, we instigated things, we were upset together, but we were best friends and I love them more than anything and I can’t imagine going through anything difficult and tramautic without them
@@JesReally there is totally a normal level of that in every sibling relationship :) it just is just sometimes on a larger scale with kids who have experienced trauma.
Hi there! Even though this came out a year ago, I want to thank you for already touching on some of the things I asked a few days ago about children parenting younger siblings. I'm looking forward to a future video on that!
After reading your reply I started thinking about my paternal grandmother. She was born in 1900. She came from a very large family where she had to take care of chores and younger siblings as soon as she was able. She told me that from the time she was 12 she was like a mother to her youngest siblings. Several of her brothers fought and died in WW1. She married young and had 8 children of her own. The first died as a baby, but 7 (5 boys and 2 girls) lived. Her husband died fairly young and after that she raised all those kids on her own, never marrying again. Of course the church and community all helped out, otherwise I don't know how they would have made it, especially through the Depression. My dad was boy #4, and he often jokingly likened it to being a younger cub in a wolf pack, but really all the brothers were thick as thieves and would do anything for each other. His 3 older brothers fought in WW2, but mercifully none were seriously injured. Dad joined the Air Force in the 1950's and barely escaped getting sent to fight in Korea, instead going to occupied Germany, for which my brother and I will be forever grateful because if he'd died in Korea we obviously wouldn't be here! 😊
I guess all that's to say that for most of history, children working and raising siblings was sadly quite common. The fact that it's different in many countries today is a wonderful blessing, which I'm so glad to see you passing on to your kids! I hope you didn't mind hearing a bit of my family history. My grandparents and parents have all passed on, but I'm glad I can reflect on what I know of their lives and appreciate all that they went through.
Thanks again for a wonderful video!
I love your channel. I’m a foster parent who wants to adopt siblings. Thank you for sharing your journey.
Can you do a video about what your kids call you? Do they call you mom and dad right from the beginning…or how to you get to that? Also, how do you incorporate adopted children into things that would be “normal” with birth children, but might be awkward with adopted children…such as snuggles in bed or nudity?
I will definitely put this topic on my list of video ideas!
I don’t think I can adopt multiple kids at once, but I wouldn’t separate a sibling group 😢.
I just know a lot of sibling groups do in foster care & in adoption, a lot of people can’t add multiple kids at once, especially if it’s a large sibling group.
Thank you for all your videos! This was really helpful for us. We’re considering foster to adoption and appreciate your honest observations!
I'm planning to be a single adoptive parent. Would you recommend siblings in my case? I come from a big family and know the importance of siblings but at the same time I'm worried to take more than I can chew. Any tips? 😧
I don’t think there’s any reason you can’t take siblings. If I were single, I personally wouldn’t take on more than 2 just because I’d find it stressful, but you have to evaluate yourself and think about what you can handle! You may want to consider doing respite care for a while and see how you like it. That can be a great way to test the waters and see what ages and number of children you can handle well.
Very interesting. Great information!
My wish since i was very young like preteen was to be a foster/adoption parent. ❤ one of my 5 siblings that had been placed in foster care had the best foster parents and I loved them to death. They showed me the live my parents wouldnt give me. ❤ i want to do that some day its my goal to be a parent to children that deserve healthy parents and love ❤ 🎉🎉 children are definitely the soul of our world. ❤ they deserve to be happy and have someone to understand what they are feeling is true feelings and not something scary. & siblings should never be split apart unless its a case where they absolutely need to be.
Love this! I’m so glad you had great foster parents and will one day be one yourself!!
Me and my big brother when adopted together
We need to talk I am going through a lot of this .
Love your channel ❤️
Thanks so much! 🥰
love your channel!
Is there anything you looked into or read (or wish you had) before adopting?
(also thank you for your content, so helpful!)
I will probably make a video about this sometime, but one book off the top of my head is “Telling the Truth to Your Adoptive or Foster Child.” I found that book so helpful in knowing how to talk to kids about their backgrounds in an age appropriate way!
If you have the max kids in your home that your state allows and the siblings you adopted end up with a baby sibling who needs placement will they make exceptions to keep them together or no? Texas “only” allows six kids whether bio or adopted.
Thanks for the insight :)
No problem 😁
Our process has not been a quick one. I followed your advice and had the book ready for our future sibling group. They were receptive and we are meeting them next week 🤞🏼
Great video. Thank you 😊
Thanks for watching!
I am currently helping my sister care for her three kids while she is in nursing school. I am very interested in adopting a sibling pair in the future. Im only 23 so I am not financially in a place where I can become a parent yet. I have thought about doing foster care first before going for adoption. Do you think that would be a smart decision?
I think it could be good to have some experience fostering first! You could also be a respite caregiver, which is when you would have kids in your home for shorter stays!
That's what I was thinking of doing. Love your content @@adoptinformed
why are some foster/adoptive kids not able to be placed into a family who already have other younger children in the home?
Me and my big brother are Logical siblings
Do you think the siblings could double team a parent and rebel?
I mean, I suppose any kids could do that, but I’ve never heard of it happening. The biggest issue we dealt with was the older sibling always trying to parent the younger.
Do you recommend adopting as single parent with part time Nanny
Adopting as a single person is definitely possible! Having the help of a nanny would be great.
❤