ALL OF r/ONEJOB
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- Опубликовано: 14 июл 2024
- Almost an hour of the top posts from r/Insaneparents on Reddit. Join the community subreddit at / emkay ! Video credits below.
Damien ► / notdamienlee
Damien | Mark with a C: 00:00:00
Damien | WORLD WAR 11: 00:09:07
Damien elsa lookin FRESH: 00:23:25
Damien | sir. how?: 00:36:47
Damien | this is an epic facepalm moment: 00:48:02 
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Emkay had one job, and that is to entertain.
And they nailed it
underrated comment
@@Expertsmap_2not anymore now that it's pinned
The first line of the description isn't agreeing with the accuracy /hj
I've been trying to figure out if it was done on purpose or not and I really don't know.
W bee
BEES3001
I love it when Damian just pauses in utter blasphemy and then *wheezes*
That's not what blasphemy means lol
@@BuggyDClown-cl4fo
Because you’re a one piece fan, I have decided to not make fun of you
@@potatogaming7044 it literally just isn't the meaning of the word
@@BuggyDClown-cl4focorrect, however, since you have a one piss pfp, i will disagree just cause
@@BuggyDClown-cl4fo hehe funny word go vroom
I recall a professor once saying this beautiful quote:
"This is a human brain. And it's quite a cool piece of nature. And some people want to keep it as clean and mint-condition as possible, so they barely use it."
I just made this 80 likes bc it was annoying me that it was 79. I hate that number. Anyway, lovely comment 😃👍
@@KennyMcCormick69_420same with 114
121 likes is 11². Its neat.
Grapes is my favorite x food
Can we appreciate the bus driver at 1:24 had the awareness to stop before the thing collapsed? That saves someone's life, maybe even multiple people's lives.
Yes
3:30 the ramp isn't for the handicapped, it is there to make you handicapped
underrated
31:27 Advice: DO NOT try to land on water. At terminal velocity, it's like hitting concrete. You could also hit the bottom of the body of water and be in even greater trouble, especially since your legs are now broken. It is generally advisable to head for a haystack, feet first on landing. You'll likely break your legs, but you may just survive, especially since your head won't hit anything hard.
Seems like you would need a pretty big haystack or else you would fly through it and into the ground
@@errorhostnotfound1165 they're already quite dense and quite compressive. You don't really get handmade ones anymore (at least over here), so you can trust their density.
That’s not 17 ; it’s 16 in Arabic 45:46
You and Emkay are missing the obvious, the label for hitting haystacks is on the water picture, the label for hitting water is on the haystack picture.
You can just paraglide or use 1 iron 6 wood to make a shield and parry the ground
Re: timestamp 37:15 Was taking an online test for something I needed professionally about 15 years ago, kept giving me wrong answers despite entering the right answer based on the instructions. I screenshot each phase of the test, got into the web script, and found who published the website. Had an attorney send them a strongly worded letter. No answer, no fix to the test. Reported them to the appropriate beaurocratic offices for malpractice on the website. 2 weeks later I got an "after review of..." letter inviting me to retake the test on paper at no cost to me and the site was "under construction."
26:22 is actually correct as far as I can tell. "Dialog im Dunkeln" means "Dialogue in he dark" in german. That's a museum in Vienna where you get guided through complete darkness by a blind person.
Partypooper mode off.
It’s about the Braille underneath. Good luck reading that.
alright then I will give me a time stamp
@@bowser1166 It says the same thing. That's what braille is for.
@@communications23 Duh, and how are you supposed to read Braille on a totally flat surface? Braille isn’t supposed to be read visually, it’s no use that way…
@@bowser1166 Duh, it's just decoration/artwork for people not blind. No blind person would even expect that there's a line of text to read in Braille. Nobody sane walks around town touching billboards to find something to read. Let alone some of them are covered by glas anyway. The only places where Braille makes sense is where people would naturally touch like on doorposts or handrails.
An all Damien video is a blessing from EmKay.
Haha I made 69 likes
@@Mercury_From_SolarballsI ruined that lol
Heyyy
0:22 baby needs beer and wine
31:43 THAT IS THE WORST IDEA POSSIBLE. FIrst of all, Water is incredibly dense, 1 g/cm^3. If you don't know how heavy that is, just thing back to the last time you carried a full bucket and how heavy that felt. If you landed in the water from 30,000 ft then it would be like slamming into cobblestone, tarmac or concrete. you would die. Especially due to your unaerodynamic shape as a human. Birds which regularly dive, especially into water would have a better chance at surviving
Even if you did survive you still wouldn't be able to get out of the water due to all the injuries you get
10:09 I watched a video from a pilot explaining this clip with the loose window over a year ago. Apparently, if I remember correctly, despite this being terrifying for many people, aside from slight decrease in interior pressure, there was no real danger, and depending on the plane, it may be common which is why the windows are usually multi-layered.
It's fine.
It's just the inner lining. Basically a scratch and dirt protection for the actual window pane. It shouldn't have any effect on the pressure.
EmKay produces some of the best and funniest content ever.
yes! its also good to eat reeses puffs 👍
You are very right
4:22 These are ear buds for VR Headsets, the headphone jack is up by the Forehead on the Index and just in front of the cheek under the Quest 2. They're designed like this to minimize the amount of hanging wires to catch on your controllers, hands, or anything else around you as you play in VR.
14:48 fanta specifically makes such blue labels inverted (I remember ad with this)
yeah i think it means like "this fanta turns your world upside down" i think it was ukranian bc i had one of those too
Regarding the US Mail, I have a story to share from my experience as a letter carrier years ago during training. We were being instructed on package handling when the postal trainer picked up a box labeled "fragile handle with care." Unfortunately, instead of handling it delicately, he carelessly tossed the box into a bin approximately six feet away, resulting in the sound of shattering glass. It was at that moment he informed us, "The sender may have included those instructions, but they didn't pay for special handling, so you are not obligated to follow them." Additionally, he took a large envelope marked "do not bend" and proceeded to fold it, emphasizing, "Again, no special handling was paid for, so if folding is necessary to fit it in their mailbox, go ahead!" While I suspect this scenario was staged for training purposes, it effectively conveyed to us letter carriers that unless an official stamp denoting payment for special handling was present, we were instructed not to treat it any differently from regular mail.
That hurt to read! Imagine buying the newest tablet and getting it bented 😢
You shouldn’t treat REGULAR packages like that! Wtf?
@@KrispyKalamari I agree, it almost encouraged us to abuse mail and I didn't stay a letter carrier for not long after this, but that is a whole other story.
@@furdiburd Like I said i think it was staged to get the point across and I am sure tablets get shipped now with special handling as a given. This was 1988, things might have changed.
I’m a Chick-fil-A employee, those sandwiches were just made fresh, that’s why the cheese melted, and the pickles are on the bottom bun, and you probably went in 10 minutes before closing
Love hearing Damien in these longer videos :3
I miss Damien
@@Foxy_ARsame
I miss him
Why do I see you everywhere.
@@pixelarticuno1636 are you talking about me ?
This is what your mom calls “Darth Maul at Home”: 2:23
“You messed up 8 stupid-“ 😂😂😂😂
But 2:56 was the funniest and you can’t disagree with me because it’s true-
4:06 Man, what a wonderful laugh.
I sounded like a dolphin😂😂😂😂
A compilation with no one but Damien? Nice.
🎉❤
the og?
🎉
True. Damien is the best
Og?
3:12 I like how instead of using a bowl, they got a shrimp tank (yup thats a shrimp tank, too small for fish but big enough for cherry shrimp) and put gravel in there and even DECORATED it. gotta have some enrichment for the phone
24:00 omg the actual horror of that one
36:37 "Ive seen these balls before" -Damien 2023
35:32 It might not be a mistake that's what toilets are called in Swedish
yep you are correct
I think its the printed, flat braille under it tbh lol.
Norwegian too
He just… completely missed the point of the post
Also in Hungarian
5:36 We all know what the fourth F is and that it's taboo. This is intentional.
40:36 plot twist: that's medication to help with OCD
"Dark" is the one of the best Tv series out there - and the whole mirrored images thing is a recurring motif across the show. The entire opening sequence is a bunch of psychedelic mirrored images.
An hour of Damien? Yes please!
30:48 "shovel material" mmm yes that is made out of shovel.
16:09 just the quiet "wait a minute" had me dead
Not to be a nerd, but that battery number was the negative 64-bit integer limit, so it's not completely random.
So it was charged to MAXINT64 %, and then charged one more percent? That's unfortunate...
NERRRRRRRRRRRRD.
@@ProShidder 🤓
@@ProShidderif you even wondered how far Minecraft is, pretty sure you have heard of this number
@@eliestor3691 No I haven't, I rarely play Minecraft anymore, if I do it's because of a lack of internet.
the inner windows on planes are basically just decorative to protect the outer windows from stupid passengers. It being loose isn't a big deal.
But still, it scares me
@RCKING97Yeah, and air pressure won't kill you
I mean it even usually has a hole in it.
the microfence is a property line indicator that has to have a survey to be installed. When I pulled out my fence I left the mid-yard gate with its posts and the post and run along the fence to the end without chain link on it because the neighbor's wood fence has a tendency to blow over: as long as the corners and ends of runs are still where they were installed it is still legally a fence and doesn't need a new survey.
Toalett is perfectly correct in some countries. It's not "you had one job", it was more of "I only speak American!"
22:00
Remember little plastic table/shape that came with your pizza?
That plastic table is there to prevent this.
Respect to the worker putting the table there
I love how Dick Smith was featured twice in this
Times
12:30 I feel like, at this restaurant, if you ran into the wrong bathroom they’d be understanding.
1:01 if you can’t tell what it is, it’s just war
2:23
Germany isn't looking too up to date...
4:05
@@thecreator3145yea
1933
16:06
Damien: What's your favorite food that starts with x?
Me: Grapes.
Damien: If it's grapes you're banned off the channel.
Me: Oh. I'll see myself out then.
Why'd you like grapes?
Just gotta say…
At 21:30, it says the serving size is 2 gummies, and there are 30 servings per container. 60 gummies total. Directions say fully chew two gummies daily, meaning 30 days of gummies. I do find it amusing that it says “one a day” on the front, though.
I thought the same thing when I saw it
@@graysonhopkins6022 Exactly lol
4:13 VERY FUNNY🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
22:27
The fact that this is a bagel advertisement makes it even funnier
i love how he makes reddit 100x more enjoyable
10:11 As scary as that clip seems, it's perfectly fine.
The inside window on airplanes exist only to keep people from touching/damaging the very expensive outside windows and are meant to be replaceable.
Those inside ones actually do just pop out and take like a minute and $10 to replace.
The outside windows, which can get VERY VERY cold, -54°C (-65°F), are very expensive. You don't want passengers touching those.
2:12 epic fail more like epic fall
14:22 every time when we played Kahoot in class my best friend would always go so mad that he would get sent to the principals office, one day he broke the doorknob
O ya
0:51 it's not a mistake... *_It's a REVOLUTION_*
It is indeed not a mistake. That's part of a tile artistic installation on a subway station in Lisbon, with a lot of intentionally "misapplied" tile patterns of old nobility people. :)
23:16 it says "UNCUT" too lmfao 🤣
I have a ruler that goes “9 11 10” I dread to think how many times I’ve accidentally drawn the wrong length because we had that ruler for years before noticing 💀
13:35
Train tracks: do you see the rust?
Those are not in use- happens a lot in countries stupid enough to scale back their railroads.
The concrete does not hurt anyone.
But the tracks look recently built, look how white the ties are.
5:58 That got me laughing for so long
0:13 clorox be like: WE DO NOT CARE
8:31 Tv is trying to noclip in backrooms
1 hour of pure, unfiltered Damien. its awesome.
I was watching this at 2:00 am in the morning, resulting in me laughing to tears at everything. Everything.
19:47 it is completely useless, but you have to remember that someone put that there. Someone had to take the time to drive the poles into the ground and somehow still thought "yeah, this works"
13:49 ✨dumb ✨
✨ways✨
✨to✨
✨die✨
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 💀
44:45 that's my country's national tv channel
Why does Damian sound like an A10 warthog sometimes, like he goes **BRRRRRRT** and then starts wheezing
If Damian was in the A F hed be a good A10 anyway cuz he pounds people with laughs
3:58 Where is New Zealand XD
And Indonesia
25:41 Nighty night daminen
10:06 pov: spirit airlines best window
4:53 those kids dodged a bullet they almost had to watch detective pikachu
I have to add at 10:15 that window isnt broke its just loose happens from time to time and btw that window isnt going to break its more likely to break on the ground than in the air most likely going to get repaired after that flight and those windows are special there are two windows there not one and honestly the inner part of the jet you see actually doesnt need to be there its just to cover up the metal and wires and other stuff
Hey Pikachu himself is pretty cute
Why do I hear saliva?
Nope Nope nope so much nope
Good by humanity I thought we made nice things but it seams not bye!(activate c4 on my feet)
2:01 apparently the campaign wasn't too cool to do drugs.
I don’t normally laugh but this does put a smile on my face
33:31
"Yeah hi can I get a burger with pickles on the side"
POUR WITH CONFIDENCE💀💀
Those idiot advertiser's
5:19 is that banana for scale
nighty night damien
1:51 isn’t this funny though? I found it funny when the paper started flying everywhere. 😂
0:27 This seems like an integer overflow where the number has got over the signed 64-bit integer limit and wrapped all the way around to that number (negative 64-bit integer limit)
yes, 64 is 9223372036854775807. Add one to it on a 64 bit CPU and you have the same number.
Still have to memorize that one, I got the 127, 32785 and ~2.14 billion down
32767*
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN SAY?! 92 QUINTILLION?
16:31 This is my childhood drink right there, always had this whenever there's special event. Now I buy this because its cheap and still great than other cheap choco milk brands
57 minutes of just Damien. This is amazing.
It's so funny how every post in this video manages to make me wheeze and gasp audibly
3:47 Looks good?! Bro... There's no way in this Universes in which THIS LOOKS GOOD!!!😭😭😭😭
EmKay had one job changing the description from r/Insaneparents to r/OneJob
Oh God, now I can't unsee it, and I hate you
I feel like it’s on purpose
Imagine Damien travelling to just get the big cheese from Woolworths
9:58 I’m familiar with how those aircraft are built. The windows consist of three panes. The exterior pane is mounted firmly on the metal shell of the aircraft, and is thick and strong enough to hold cabin pressure. Then, there are two plastic panes and a shade on the assembly that’s loose here. The part that’s loose here is part of the interior trim, and not structural in any way whatsoever. In other words, what you’re looking at is basically equivalent to a worn out seat in a car.
35:18 haha, I made that post :)
The emkay gods have come down to bless us with the best subredit, for 57 minutes.
19:58 are bro gonna ignore Thursday 38th💀
5:18 That brings a whole new meaning to "butter scraped over too much bread."
45:56 it’s not 17 Oreos, it’s says x16 Oreos in arabic, so there is nothing wrong with it
40:48 I probably don't need to say this, but since he asked, I'm pretty sure it's a baby changing station. It is weird that the parent is kneeling, though.
No, it’s not. It’s a “seats for parents with small children” sign. Just rotate it 90° counterclockwise. We have them in public transport right next to a parking spot for baby carriage. It is “one job” moment 😂
Deep Dish? Not Pizza. It's an italian cheese casserole in a freakin' bread bowl. BRING IT!
19:18 Lario and Muigi
I’m so behind on the World wars, I’ve gotta find time to catch up on the series.
it got really good in season 3 (spoilers in read more)
nukes!
World War 111 is about to release years after World War 11 was first released
You had one job!
.... And you still did it wrong.
Yes
FedEx: *puts very important medicine directly up against my grandmas car tire so if she pulled out without noticing the meds she would run them over*
night night damien
For damien: the internals of a plane are all for your own comfort. None of it is needed for the plane to safely function.
The yellow lines are temporary traffic indicators used in areas where they are working on the road. They are generally taped onto the road, which explains why wet weather and cars driving over them often make them warp and move around in weird scrunched up shapes.
The beer and baby thing is actually a marketing strategy because a research is done with dads and often after they come home from work they buy diapers for their babies and some beer.
World war 11 is soo nostalgic i remember fighting in war and blasting ac dc in air pods
The toalett is toilet in swedish so if that is in Sweden it is not suposed to be on the subreddit
10:14 this one is actually fine, the inner window is only there for insulation the outer window is what handles the pressure, so safety wise it's not a problem.
54:04 this is probably supposed to say being DEAF did not stop Beethoven from writing music. Being dead certainly did 🤣
17:00 Thats either in Australia or New Zealand. It's in a supermarket chain called Countdown (It's called Woolworths in Aussie, I can tell from the logo on the packet.). We don't have "Cheddar" or "American" cheese, (well, we do, but we prefer these ones) we have big ol' slabs of "Tasty" "Mild" and "Edam". It's like how in Canada they have bags of milk, and over here, we have big bricks of cheese. It's easier to grate, and srsly, freshly grated Tasty is my comfort food. I swear, if you grew up in NZ or Aussie, and your mums making pizza for dinner, you have grabbed a handful of cheese off the chopping board and shoved it in your mouth when she wasn't looking, if you say you haven't, you're either lactose intolerant, weird, or lying.
It's also called Woolworths in South Africa