Jen & Yvonne, thank you so much. Like you said, it is not an easy topic to discuss, but my girlfriend and I will definitely take some time and discuss this thoroughly. Definitely making our own red folders. Danke schon.
Thank you so much for talking about it. As a foreigner and living alone in Germany, I have been thinking this question, what happens when I die here! today I know the answer and thank you for suppling and researching information about this topic. Hats off!
I used to work at Zurich Insurance back home in North America, we handled this everyday. My advice is buy insurance, you can have them handle everything. Most ppl dont think about it much until after the fact, I had hard time breaking to them the bad news , how much it gonna cost them without coverage. Especially repatr ion of the body, oh boy, the cost of that...Back then in the late 90s it can cost around 20-30k usd , God only knows how much it cost now. And the emergency carry card you had in mind there, is kina outdated and flimsy in this age now of digitization. Most folks back home who thought this out, usually put it in a n " American Medical ID" mini usb flash drive that they can can strap to their necklace or bracelet. It contains all your medical information, conditions you have and what treatments worked for you in the past,contacts, insurance info. It can b a big life saver too in some situations where you have a specific conditions that requires a certain drug or emergency procedures done right away, and theres not a lot of time.. It helps the medical staff to quickly plan their treatments right away, instead of taking hours of running lab test on you and probing you with questions.
I went to visit my partner in Berlin just few days ago and never thought about this possibility prior to visiting him. Now I am well informed and will discuss this to my partner before moving to be with him for good in the future. Dankeschön 🙏❤
This is an incredibly useful video and indeed the topic that most people simply avoid. It is indeed the task of living (adult people) to prepare for their own death. Thank you, Jen and Yvonne for this condensed information
Superinteressant und sehr lehrreich! Vielen Dank! Und ich habe wieder einige neue Vokabeln gelernt: next of kin, funeral home. Für next of kin musste ich aber erst die automatisch erzeugten Untertitel aktivieren, um eine Idee zu bekommen, wie man das schreibt. Das Lesen der Untertitel war dann überaus erheiternd. 😂 Viele nicht erkannte englische Wörter wurden auf x verschiedene Weisen geschrieben, z.B. next of kin und auch urn. Dazu gewisse deutsche Namen und Wörter. Yvonne war keinmal richtig und Christian auch nur beim 1. Mal, als Jen kritschien gesagt hat (welch grauenhafte englische Aussprache eines eigentlich schönen Namens). Düsseldorf hieß konsequent nur "dorf", nix mit Düssel. Und so komplizierte Wörter wie Patientenverfügung wurden einfach ausgelassen. Einfach köstlich! 😅
This is such an important topic. You also need to make sure somebody can find your passwords, get access to your computer etc. A friend of mine died with unfinished work projects and luckily a friend of his had this info and was able to contact his clients and finish the projects for him.
One of the reasons why donating the body is not popular is the eagerness of bad hospitals (hopefully doesn't exist here in Germany) to not treat you if they know that you're in line for donation, especially organ donation. So a lot of people think thrice about this
When my father died in January in rural Germany the funeral home did a FANTASTIC JOB, doing next to all the paper work, organizing the funeral an condolence cards, the transport from the hospital, ... This was an enormous relief for the family. Was it expensive? Yes! Was it worth the money? Definitely!
Did you check the bill? Undertakers are infamous for rip-offs on their bills, because they bet that the next-of-kin has other problems than double-checking such bills.
Thank you so much for making this video.I agree that it is important to be well prepared especially with family abroad who speak no german and have no idea what steps to take to even get the death certificate.
Was für ein wertvolles Video! Meine Eltern haben sich nie um etwas gekümmert und nie drüber geredet. Als meine Mutter im Sterben lag, hätten wir beinahe noch einen amtlichen Vormund für sie bekommen, der dann Entscheidungen im Krankenhaus hätte treffen müssen, die komplett von dem abgewichen wären, was meine Mutter eigentlich gewollt (aber nie festgelegt) hat. "Zum Glück" ist sie vorher gestorben. Es ist sooooo wichtig, alles geregelt zu haben. Man muß auch mal darüber nachdenken, dass die Hinterbliebenen schon mit ihrer Trauer und dem Verlust arg zu kämpfen haben - wenn man sich dann auch noch komplett um alle Bürokratie kümmern muß, weil der/die Verstorbene nichts geregelt hat, das ist nochmal zusätzlich belastend und muß nicht sein. Ich weiß auch gar nicht, weshalb das so ein Tabu ist - wie ihr im Video schon sagtet: der Tod ist unausweichlich und steht jedem bevor. Da nützt es auch nichts, ihn totzuschweigen 😉. Danke ihr beiden für euren wertvollen Kontent! Ihr hättet so viel mehr Subscribers verdient!
Thank you for making this video. I am living in Germany alone. I am from America. I always wondered about this. Very important video. No matter how old you are. My son passed at 20.
Very important video, not just for German foreigners, but for anyone living anywhere. I'm glad you asked this question, and I always appreciate the thorough research
Far from being problematic, this video is immensely helpful and reassuring. Not knowing what to do to alleviate the burden on family and loved ones is a great relief. Now to get busy. Thank you both.
I'm deeply impressed that you touch this topic in your age. I needed to turn 50 some years ago to start setting up the "red folder". Thanks for the hint to the emergency card! I'll set one up for me 🙂
What does age have to do with the decision to be prepared? Maybe only the fact that you get a bit wiser with age (hopefully!). I think every person who has reached the age of majority, and especially expats, has to prepare for those things. There is also the question of how to handle your accidents, not only death, and young people are doing MORE activities that could lead to severe injuries.
Thank you guys, I was thinking about this a lot of times, and have found some information but yours answered all of my questions. it is really necessary to talk about it. I appreciate your efforts 😘
This video is to die for. Seriously this is a brilliant compilation of things everybody has to prepare if (s)he doesn't want to leave a mess for others to clean up and a bad memory on your lack of organization or simply documenting utter ruthlessness. I will see if my local university is interested in doing research with my physical remains, that was new and interesting information for me - thank you. There is also supposed to be the option to be "composting" in nature, creating less of a CO2 footprint, compared to being cremated but I haven't done any research on that yet. I had to laugh when mentioning a Bestatter called "Düvel" because by coincidence that translates to Teufel=devil in the local Düsseldorf accent, but I certainly don't want to discredit them, I am sure they are great if you recommend them. I have sweet spot for ladies who are smart, sweet and overly social, a rare combination that both of you more than qualify for. So I would also cry if one of you would not be around anymore - no kidding! Though we never even met, I feel as much for you as I do for my dearest friends that I am with since decades. How strange is that?! This attitude of yours is exactly what makes this community what it is - a bunch of helping and good-hearted smoothlers. There was a phase in my life where I drank a lot of Coke, now do I still qualify as an organ donor or just "Sondermüll"? 😜 Destination Friedhof oder Wertstoffhof? Even if the organs are all rubbish, I am quite tall and they can probably still make a nice diving suit from me - oh no, the snorkel is in the wrong place because I am a man. Regarding the entire subject, thank you for bringing it up (I really mean it, not in a "that's what she said" way) Closing with these humorous words I hope everybody can handle this very heavy and emotional subject a bit more on the lighter side. PS: My late German dad actually always used to say, try to make others laugh, else nobody will join the funeral. (He was often late, but he is really dead)
I think I really react differently to 'normal' people. I can well imagine myself dead and it does not make me sad at all! why to be sad? I cannot feel any emotions while dead, it's my relatives' job to be sad on that occasion :)
So in your case, your mom inherits 10‘000 € and has to spend 2‘000 € to go and get it. Boy, how I hate German banks! 🤦🏻♀️ For more information: I used to live in Germany and have a German bank account. It was super annoying and I couldn’t wait to quit mine. Swiss banks have some downsides but not THAT many.
Does the living will and power of attorney have to be German? I have mine but I did it in United States. Will my husband be able to use that in case of my death?
What do you mean "no way around funeral home?" If my family cannot get to my dead body in Germany (visa expectation time can be years) and/or pay a thousand of euros (they are poor or they do not care about dead body) - then what? The body will be left to rot on the street?
@simplegermany but I also do not have money for that :( Also I tend to get somewhat depressed thinking about that sort of stuff and that is contagios. Maybe it would be great to get to know more details. My significant other cannot pay the rent without work, so she has to quietly flee the country or get in jail for debts? Or is there any fee or prison for not taking care of my corpse? Or should I assign some most unlikeable person among relatives to take care of payments to the death buro?
Personally for me it looks strange that my health insurance company can pay for a bunch of expensive operations, but cannot pay 2k to get rid of my corpse. Not like they will have to pay for my health anymore in case I am dead
Of course there is social support if your next of kin can not finance a funeral, but only for within Germany, not to take your body abroad. Again this video is supposed to start a conversation for you to do further research 😊
@@n1vca i live far in NRW. I have lived 3 years here. It isnt still easy for me to find close friends here. I speak ok German but the jokes fly past me😁. But i am trying to find people. Not easy.
@@donjohn2239 I am really sorry to hear that since I grew up in NRW, between Duisburg and Düsseldorf and believe the majority of NRW folks are slightly more liberal and open to aliens than e.g. people from Bavaria or Northern Germany, since they are close to the Netherlands, Belgium, France, Luxemburg ... and a mix of people with different origins and languages is something they are used to since their childhood. On the other extreme of the spectrum people from the former GDR grew up in an almost entirely homogenous society, causing some of the older generation to be between just not friendly, hateful to aggressive towards some foreigners, which is very sad. If you can't get a good relationship with your colleagues, maybe you join a club that focuses on some of your hobbies? Or check out if there are any local activities in your neighborhood and see if there is something that you are interested in? You might join "nebenan" (dot de) ... sorry can't enter complete URLs here ... maybe you offer a conversion with some people interested in learning your native language?! The learning might go both ways and maybe a real friendship originates from that. Or check out "internations"? My experience here is also limited and I noticed that it can be easier in e.g. the US and Canada than in Germany. I can imagine that it is more difficult to connect to germans, but once you break the ice, you will have friends for life. I am a total tech nerd and an extreme introvert, but the older I get the more communicative and political I get and the more I appreciate the fact to live in a relatively social, healthy and liberal society. These days I prioritize spending more time with friends rather than getting ahead with research & design within my technical hobbies that I have a lot of passion for. And since life is not endless it makes so much sense to interact with people around you in a helping, informative or simply humorous way, that makes it even more enjoyable and I hope you find a way to also soon gain power and happiness from such refreshing experiences. I wish we could find a way to directly communicate via voice without giving away our phone numbers to the public?! If you have an idea, let me know I'd be very happy to help you figure out how to crack the german protective shell. some of my basic rules of positive private interactions that can lead to real friendships could probably be summarized into these?! - forget any "social status", always communicate straight eye to eye on the same level - the other person is equal! - don't be afraid of showing vulnerability, be as humanly honest and open as you can - show your humorous side and see if you can make each other laugh (ideal!) - don't take yourself too serious, show some self deprecating humor, be silly, don't fall into the stupid male superiority complex trap - never say anything you don't mean, make sure the other person has a chance to get to know you the way you really are, since you don't want to be liked/loved for something you are not! That wouldn't last long and that is not what you want! - if it doesn't match, always be polite and not be disappointed, there are so many very different feeling and thinking people out there and you can't be friends with everyone - respect that, be easy with that - its just natural selection - never be forceful, be sensible and try to figure out if the other person might really be a good friendly match for you to hang out with - if the other person doesn't suit your ethical or other standards, be polite and distance yourself in the long run - try not to hurt the other person but stay away from toxic people, life is too short for that! I am sure there is so much more, but I have had long day today and I am tired, maybe some of that could already be helpful to at some point create and maintain a real good long term friendship with someone?! The best of luck to you!
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Jen & Yvonne, thank you so much. Like you said, it is not an easy topic to discuss, but my girlfriend and I will definitely take some time and discuss this thoroughly. Definitely making our own red folders. Danke schon.
Thank you so much for talking about it. As a foreigner and living alone in Germany, I have been thinking this question, what happens when I die here! today I know the answer and thank you for suppling and researching information about this topic. Hats off!
I used to work at Zurich Insurance back home in North America, we handled this everyday. My advice is buy insurance, you can have them handle everything. Most ppl dont think about it much until after the fact, I had hard time breaking to them the bad news , how much it gonna cost them without coverage. Especially repatr ion of the body, oh boy, the cost of that...Back then in the late 90s it can cost around 20-30k usd , God only knows how much it cost now.
And the emergency carry card you had in mind there, is kina outdated and flimsy in this age now of digitization. Most folks back home who thought this out, usually put it in a n " American Medical ID" mini usb flash drive that they can can strap to their necklace or bracelet. It contains all your medical information, conditions you have and what treatments worked for you in the past,contacts, insurance info. It can b a big life saver too in some situations where you have a specific conditions that requires a certain drug or emergency procedures done right away, and theres not a lot of time.. It helps the medical staff to quickly plan their treatments right away, instead of taking hours of running lab test on you and probing you with questions.
I went to visit my partner in Berlin just few days ago and never thought about this possibility prior to visiting him. Now I am well informed and will discuss this to my partner before moving to be with him for good in the future. Dankeschön 🙏❤
This is an incredibly useful video and indeed the topic that most people simply avoid. It is indeed the task of living (adult people) to prepare for their own death. Thank you, Jen and Yvonne for this condensed information
Superinteressant und sehr lehrreich! Vielen Dank!
Und ich habe wieder einige neue Vokabeln gelernt: next of kin, funeral home. Für next of kin musste ich aber erst die automatisch erzeugten Untertitel aktivieren, um eine Idee zu bekommen, wie man das schreibt. Das Lesen der Untertitel war dann überaus erheiternd. 😂
Viele nicht erkannte englische Wörter wurden auf x verschiedene Weisen geschrieben, z.B. next of kin und auch urn. Dazu gewisse deutsche Namen und Wörter. Yvonne war keinmal richtig und Christian auch nur beim 1. Mal, als Jen kritschien gesagt hat (welch grauenhafte englische Aussprache eines eigentlich schönen Namens).
Düsseldorf hieß konsequent nur "dorf", nix mit Düssel. Und so komplizierte Wörter wie Patientenverfügung wurden einfach ausgelassen. Einfach köstlich! 😅
This is such an important topic. You also need to make sure somebody can find your passwords, get access to your computer etc. A friend of mine died with unfinished work projects and luckily a friend of his had this info and was able to contact his clients and finish the projects for him.
One of the reasons why donating the body is not popular is the eagerness of bad hospitals (hopefully doesn't exist here in Germany) to not treat you if they know that you're in line for donation, especially organ donation. So a lot of people think thrice about this
This is really helpful 👍🏻
Thank you beautiful ladies ❤
Such an important, but often disregarded, topic, thanks for making this video.
@@airtonsilva8006 hii.... I have some doubts that could you please help me❤️
A very well-done video. Great information. 😊❤
When my father died in January in rural Germany the funeral home did a FANTASTIC JOB, doing next to all the paper work, organizing the funeral an condolence cards, the transport from the hospital, ... This was an enormous relief for the family. Was it expensive? Yes! Was it worth the money? Definitely!
Did you check the bill? Undertakers are infamous for rip-offs on their bills, because they bet that the next-of-kin has other problems than double-checking such bills.
Yvonne and Jen, wow. That never even crossed my mind. Very valuable and important information. Thank you very much
Thank you so much Jen & Yvonne
Thank you so much for making this video.I agree that it is important to be well prepared especially with family abroad who speak no german and have no idea what steps to take to even get the death certificate.
Was für ein wertvolles Video! Meine Eltern haben sich nie um etwas gekümmert und nie drüber geredet. Als meine Mutter im Sterben lag, hätten wir beinahe noch einen amtlichen Vormund für sie bekommen, der dann Entscheidungen im Krankenhaus hätte treffen müssen, die komplett von dem abgewichen wären, was meine Mutter eigentlich gewollt (aber nie festgelegt) hat. "Zum Glück" ist sie vorher gestorben. Es ist sooooo wichtig, alles geregelt zu haben. Man muß auch mal darüber nachdenken, dass die Hinterbliebenen schon mit ihrer Trauer und dem Verlust arg zu kämpfen haben - wenn man sich dann auch noch komplett um alle Bürokratie kümmern muß, weil der/die Verstorbene nichts geregelt hat, das ist nochmal zusätzlich belastend und muß nicht sein. Ich weiß auch gar nicht, weshalb das so ein Tabu ist - wie ihr im Video schon sagtet: der Tod ist unausweichlich und steht jedem bevor. Da nützt es auch nichts, ihn totzuschweigen 😉. Danke ihr beiden für euren wertvollen Kontent! Ihr hättet so viel mehr Subscribers verdient!
Thank you for making this video. I am living in Germany alone. I am from America. I always wondered about this. Very important video. No matter how old you are. My son passed at 20.
Very important video, not just for German foreigners, but for anyone living anywhere. I'm glad you asked this question, and I always appreciate the thorough research
Very insightful video on a topic that nobody talks about. Thank you so much.
100 th like Knowing it's a cliché topic and people especially foreigners don't discuss these things it's quite useful to keep things in hand
Far from being problematic, this video is immensely helpful and reassuring. Not knowing what to do to alleviate the burden on family and loved ones is a great relief. Now to get busy. Thank you both.
I'm deeply impressed that you touch this topic in your age. I needed to turn 50 some years ago to start setting up the "red folder". Thanks for the hint to the emergency card! I'll set one up for me 🙂
What does age have to do with the decision to be prepared? Maybe only the fact that you get a bit wiser with age (hopefully!). I think every person who has reached the age of majority, and especially expats, has to prepare for those things. There is also the question of how to handle your accidents, not only death, and young people are doing MORE activities that could lead to severe injuries.
Very useful information.
Thank you guys, I was thinking about this a lot of times, and have found some information but yours answered all of my questions. it is really necessary to talk about it. I appreciate your efforts 😘
Need information when a family member dies back home. Especially with regards to taxes exemption with funeral costs and inheritance
Please speak to a tax consultant 😊
Very important topic discussed here.... Good effort to take it up..I don't think I have ever heard on this in any other channel.
You guys are super good. This is a very informative video.
crazy topic 😂 kudos for thinking of it
Super, this is very very important information you’ve shared ladies. Thank you
This video is to die for.
Seriously this is a brilliant compilation of things everybody has to prepare if (s)he doesn't want to leave a mess for others to clean up and a bad memory on your lack of organization or simply documenting utter ruthlessness. I will see if my local university is interested in doing research with my physical remains, that was new and interesting information for me - thank you.
There is also supposed to be the option to be "composting" in nature, creating less of a CO2 footprint, compared to being cremated but I haven't done any research on that yet.
I had to laugh when mentioning a Bestatter called "Düvel" because by coincidence that translates to Teufel=devil in the local Düsseldorf accent, but I certainly don't want to discredit them, I am sure they are great if you recommend them.
I have sweet spot for ladies who are smart, sweet and overly social, a rare combination that both of you more than qualify for. So I would also cry if one of you would not be around anymore - no kidding! Though we never even met, I feel as much for you as I do for my dearest friends that I am with since decades. How strange is that?! This attitude of yours is exactly what makes this community what it is - a bunch of helping and good-hearted smoothlers.
There was a phase in my life where I drank a lot of Coke, now do I still qualify as an organ donor or just "Sondermüll"? 😜 Destination Friedhof oder Wertstoffhof?
Even if the organs are all rubbish, I am quite tall and they can probably still make a nice diving suit from me - oh no, the snorkel is in the wrong place because I am a man.
Regarding the entire subject, thank you for bringing it up (I really mean it, not in a "that's what she said" way)
Closing with these humorous words I hope everybody can handle this very heavy and emotional subject a bit more on the lighter side.
PS: My late German dad actually always used to say, try to make others laugh, else nobody will join the funeral. (He was often late, but he is really dead)
and now, i will not only live more smoothly but also die more smoothly 🤓
I think I really react differently to 'normal' people. I can well imagine myself dead and it does not make me sad at all! why to be sad? I cannot feel any emotions while dead, it's my relatives' job to be sad on that occasion :)
FYI, Cigna Health Insurance can cover the cost of repatriation.
Yes because it is temporary expat insurance. It is not for long-term stay in Germany.
Very Informative
Useful information
So in your case, your mom inherits 10‘000 € and has to spend 2‘000 € to go and get it. Boy, how I hate German banks! 🤦🏻♀️
For more information: I used to live in Germany and have a German bank account. It was super annoying and I couldn’t wait to quit mine. Swiss banks have some downsides but not THAT many.
Please make one video about how to transfer money into a credit card(MasterCard) from a commerce bank.
Note, that all German burials are temporary.
There is always a reason for every thing and i hope that is not the case here and jen has not a serius medical condition😢. Hope you bests❤
All is good 😊
Hi!! Do you have any video explaining how to rent a bike in Düsseldorf?
Hello can I ask something regarding staying or working in Germany on contract basis is there a housing or apartment for free in Germany
🥹🤧thanks for the video
Does the living will and power of attorney have to be German? I have mine but I did it in United States. Will my husband be able to use that in case of my death?
We can’t answer that, a notary will be able to 😊
What do you mean "no way around funeral home?" If my family cannot get to my dead body in Germany (visa expectation time can be years) and/or pay a thousand of euros (they are poor or they do not care about dead body) - then what? The body will be left to rot on the street?
We don’t know. That’s why it’s important that while you’re in Germany you find all of this out for yourself.
@simplegermany but I also do not have money for that :(
Also I tend to get somewhat depressed thinking about that sort of stuff and that is contagios. Maybe it would be great to get to know more details. My significant other cannot pay the rent without work, so she has to quietly flee the country or get in jail for debts? Or is there any fee or prison for not taking care of my corpse? Or should I assign some most unlikeable person among relatives to take care of payments to the death buro?
Personally for me it looks strange that my health insurance company can pay for a bunch of expensive operations, but cannot pay 2k to get rid of my corpse. Not like they will have to pay for my health anymore in case I am dead
Of course there is social support if your next of kin can not finance a funeral, but only for within Germany, not to take your body abroad. Again this video is supposed to start a conversation for you to do further research 😊
They burn ur body because its cheaper than baring you. Land is expensive in germany :(
What if you have no next of kin
Please watch the video… that exactly what we are discussing to give a friend a power of attorney etc.
wir konnten mit meinem vater bevor er verstarb noch in seine heimat, konnte dann dort sterben wie er es wollte
Important to learn. This place is a doghouse. Cold people. Important to know because i am 100 % sure i will die alone here. Thanks for the video.
Hey, that is not true, you simply met the wrong people! Do you live near Munich? I'll show you the opposite!
@@n1vca i live far in NRW. I have lived 3 years here. It isnt still easy for me to find close friends here. I speak ok German but the jokes fly past me😁. But i am trying to find people. Not easy.
@@donjohn2239 I am really sorry to hear that since I grew up in NRW, between Duisburg and Düsseldorf and believe the majority of NRW folks are slightly more liberal and open to aliens than e.g. people from Bavaria or Northern Germany, since they are close to the Netherlands, Belgium, France, Luxemburg ... and a mix of people with different origins and languages is something they are used to since their childhood. On the other extreme of the spectrum people from the former GDR grew up in an almost entirely homogenous society, causing some of the older generation to be between just not friendly, hateful to aggressive towards some foreigners, which is very sad.
If you can't get a good relationship with your colleagues, maybe you join a club that focuses on some of your hobbies?
Or check out if there are any local activities in your neighborhood and see if there is something that you are interested in? You might join "nebenan" (dot de) ... sorry can't enter complete URLs here ... maybe you offer a conversion with some people interested in learning your native language?! The learning might go both ways and maybe a real friendship originates from that. Or check out "internations"?
My experience here is also limited and I noticed that it can be easier in e.g. the US and Canada than in Germany. I can imagine that it is more difficult to connect to germans, but once you break the ice, you will have friends for life.
I am a total tech nerd and an extreme introvert, but the older I get the more communicative and political I get and the more I appreciate the fact to live in a relatively social, healthy and liberal society. These days I prioritize spending more time with friends rather than getting ahead with research & design within my technical hobbies that I have a lot of passion for. And since life is not endless it makes so much sense to interact with people around you in a helping, informative or simply humorous way, that makes it even more enjoyable and I hope you find a way to also soon gain power and happiness from such refreshing experiences.
I wish we could find a way to directly communicate via voice without giving away our phone numbers to the public?!
If you have an idea, let me know I'd be very happy to help you figure out how to crack the german protective shell.
some of my basic rules of positive private interactions that can lead to real friendships could probably be summarized into these?!
- forget any "social status", always communicate straight eye to eye on the same level - the other person is equal!
- don't be afraid of showing vulnerability, be as humanly honest and open as you can
- show your humorous side and see if you can make each other laugh (ideal!)
- don't take yourself too serious, show some self deprecating humor, be silly, don't fall into the stupid male superiority complex trap
- never say anything you don't mean, make sure the other person has a chance to get to know you the way you really are, since you don't want to be liked/loved for something you are not! That wouldn't last long and that is not what you want!
- if it doesn't match, always be polite and not be disappointed, there are so many very different feeling and thinking people out there and you can't be friends with everyone - respect that, be easy with that - its just natural selection
- never be forceful, be sensible and try to figure out if the other person might really be a good friendly match for you to hang out with
- if the other person doesn't suit your ethical or other standards, be polite and distance yourself in the long run - try not to hurt the other person but stay away from toxic people, life is too short for that!
I am sure there is so much more, but I have had long day today and I am tired, maybe some of that could already be helpful to at some point create and maintain a real good long term friendship with someone?!
The best of luck to you!
So dying in Germany is also not peaceful 😮