Therapist Reacts to Movie Therapist: WHAT ABOUT BOB
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- Опубликовано: 17 апр 2022
- Is What About Bob actually a horror film? It kind of is for therapists...
Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright take a look at the therapist/client relationship in What About Bob, and how Bill Murray's character, while sometimes charming and hilarious, is way out of line, and Richard Dreyfuss (the therapist), while often arrogant and narcissistic, is actually right a lot of the time. They talk about the importance of boundaries, which therapeutic techniques in the film are actually good advice, and which ones are not so good.
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Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker, and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright, and Alan Seawright
Edited by: Trevor Horton, tzhediting.com
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
English Transcription by: Anna Preis
Spanish Transcription by: Juan Willems
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Hey guys, Alan here: I blew it. I said Frank Oz performed Gonzo. I meant to say Grover. I was picturing Grover in my head, but the word came out wrong. Then I didn't catch it in the edit, because I was picturing Grover.
Gonzo was performed by the hilarious and extremely talented Dave Goelz. My apologies to a guy who's waaaaay more talented than me, and also will likely never hear of this channel. 🫡
I was literally about to comment on that flub, but scrolled through the comments first to see if anyone else had caught it. I'm glad you caught it yourself. :)
This is how to issue a correction.
Hey There! Love your stuff. Since you actually did several horror movie analysis youtubes, have you considered doing one on grief in "Hereditary" with Toni Collet and Gabriel Byrne, or "Midsomer" by the same director Ari Aster, which looks at grief and Cult techniques? They are both fascinating. If you do one of those, I'll join your Patreon group (Yes, I'm trying blatant bribery! But I think they are fascinating movies. For that matter, you might like "The Babadook"" which also looks at grief and family dynamics.) jl puckett
TBH that's a very understandable mix up lol
While you guys are reacting to therapists you should look at adam sandler and jack nicolson in "anger management"
I first saw this movie in my psychology class back in high school, and we were analyzing Bob and watching the movie through the psychiatrist’s point of view, and this movie comes off as a horror/tragedy disguised as a comedy.
Comedy is just tragedy seen from far enough away
i watched it a few years ago. my mum said it was a comedy but little me was horrified and distressed
it's a dark comedy for sure...... i mean, even as a kid, i knew that bob is basically driving this somewhat arrogant but innocent man into complete insanity
I've not actually seen this movie before, but I'm positive I would have at the very least been confused by it.
There were so many times as a kid where I'd see something problematic in a movie (such as a character kiss someone who has shown no sign of interest beforehand) and just wonder whether I somehow missed a scene or some indicator to explain the behaviour beforehand. Or I'd recognize there's a problem but be unable to articulate it and usually end up dismissing it to do something else. Now that I'm a "grown up" (coveted position, I know), I am grateful to now be able to articulate and understand what bothers me in the media I consume.
It's the best kind of comedy!
Tbh as a woman, if a male client tracked me down I WOULD report it. Too many bad experiences…just IMMEDIATE alarm bells
That's fair, though if that's how you would knowingly handle a situation like this from the get-go, you probably wouldn't be put in a situation where you're responsible for patients this sick. Therapists have a right to boundaries, sure, but they also have to make some sacrifices for the sake of dealing with patients that aren't thinking clearly.
As a woman, if a female client do the same you should report her too! 😯 This shouldn't be about gender girl, both can be dangerous
@@rubethystgem3461 well…it depends. I would argue this is never ok and never something a therapist should have to deal with “for the sake of the client”. I’ve worked in places that did work with people who have this, and those areas have safety practices in place. I’ve worked with clients who are this dealing with these issues. It’s not so much about the therapist as it is the circumstances. When I’ve worked with clients with these types of difficulties there’s a team and safety nets, and you have multiple people working with them. To be clear, like Bob, they’re often lovely and not usually dangerous, but the risk is higher and my safety is just as important.
It’s NEVER ok for a client to follow you home, and people doing that are higher risk of doing other more dangerous behaviors. Reporting doesn’t necessarily mean police, but it might mean in-patient or referring to a higher level of care where they’re getting the more frequent attention they need.
I've never seen the movie in its entirety, but already three times just watching this reivew I've said to myself that I'd be calling the police... and again at 21:30 or so where Bob is backing up the Dr across the lawn, all my alarm bells went off again.
Yes, for your safety and their education on how and how not to treat people.
I just have to say, this movie absolutely TERRORFIED me as a child. I was seeing a lot of the insane things my family thought was normal, being portrayed on screen as a comedy. Even now it still creeps me out. The irony is my mother HATED this movie, and the character of Bob. I realize now maybe she saw too much of her own actions in him -- or he reminded her of her own mother too much.
Same! The whole movie made me so anxious
I saw this movie when it came out, and I barely laughed, even though this was top-form Bill Murray.
Friends and family thought it was a comedy, but all I saw was how the character of Bob was a disaster for anyone around him.
I had not thought about this movie for over a decade, and now seeing your video, I see that Bob was in need of serious help, as was the doctor.
But it's still not a comedy to me.
@@MonkeyJedi99 so, as a late diagnosed autistic female, the anxiety was a real thing, the over thinking was a real thing, and the literal thinking, with the "baby steps" suggest Autistic coding. even the elivator thing, are things we deal with all the time. but so are the tries at setting boundaries and not having them honored. Bob, gets slightly infantilized by the rest of the family, but, i would honestly never do this, to anyone on my team, or on my children's teams. i would also have sought another therapist, if they handed me their own book. there's something wrong, with being your own expert, when it manifests like that
I’ve had a similar experience with adhd, especially before getting diagnosed as an adult. I know I’ve compulsively pestered friends due to anxiety, but never past the point when they’ve set a boundary. Even with a neurodivergency or mental health issue, it’s never okay to act like Bob and the most people are capable of knowing the difference and controlling themselves. Sometimes I can’t pick up on hints though-which makes me even more anxious if someone acts like they’re annoyed but say they’re fine-so it’s super important to communicate boundaries. ✨The majority of people want to respect your boundaries, but no one can read your mind.✨
I also relate to Dr Marvin in that I’ve been overly patient and clearly communicated my own boundaries, then had them ignored to the point where I shut down and cut the person out of my life (which invariably makes them mad because they feel entitled to me, even to the point of stalking and harassing me for months after. I’d never wish that trauma on anyone and it makes me super nervous to know that I do have compulsive tendencies because of adhd and could accidentally make someone uncomfortable if I miss a hint).
Anyway, this movie is all around terrifying because it shows the extremes of what people are capable of when boundaries are ignored.
(I didn’t intend to write a whole ass paragraph but here we are. Thanks for reading if you did!)
I hated it too! I found it so distressing and i felt awful for bob and the nasty therapist dude. it wasn't funny at all.
What I love in this movie is how the roles are completely reversed by the end of the film. Bob TALKS HIS WAY OUT OF A MENTAL ASYLUM because he's managed to become so charming and "normal," as well as gets married, and the only one who sees how completely bizarre it is, is Dr. Marvin, who proceeds to have a complete mental breakdown to the point of becoming near catatonic.
It really does play out like a horror movie in a lot of ways.
Be an interesting double-feature with Stepford Wives.
Its like he dumped all his toxicity into another vessel just so he could function. It's a disturbing situation.
I disagree; Dr Marvin's own madness becomes apparent by the end of the movie through his treatment of his client throughout the movie! This is why Bob walk's away "cured" and "normal" and Dr Marvin end's up in the asylum! I think the moral of this movie is to look after your psychology as well as that of others.
Yes, Dr. Marvin started out very secure and confident, even cocky. His confidence went downhill as the movie progressed. From my perspective, Dr. Marvin lost it from his Good Morning America interview onwards. Up until the interview, he started getting annoyed at Bob but still kept his bearings, still had his sanity
@@MLBlue30 yeah. Bob passed his unhappiness and instability to Dr. Marvin in the same way you pass your cold to someone else. Bob recovered and got well and Dr. Marvin was now sick
As a psychiatrist, this is so scary, because you actually have to handle clients who have no sense of boundaries, and the thought of having no break from the role of therapist is absolutely draining
As a patient it's a relief to hear objective statements of preference unmarred by the care relationship and all the inherent... Internal guidance around restraining these statements of preference with clients. I don't mean to imply what you said is a revelation for me as a patient of course, but I'm glad to know that respecting these boundaries is a kindness to the person who currently helps me.
@@FusilAutomatique 🎈
I think good boundaries generally make relationships better, because it keeps people healthy. Understanding that not giving all of yourself to another person doesn’t mean that you don’t care is a learning process for both client and therapist.
@@ludmilamaiolini6811 Agreed, I like your take. I'd add that knowing your therapist has boundaries for productive reasons and personally witnessing their adherence to them brings about trust in their professionalism and/or dedication to their duty.
My therapist has a work cell. He gave me the number so I could text him about something that happened during the week and we address the list on therapy day. It works for me, because now our sessions are focused on how I handled the stress rather than talking about all the stressors that happened. We agreed I could do this because it helps me, but we also agreed that he wouldn’t answer any of my texts unless it was about scheduling my appointment.
That's such a great idea.
@@catalina3710 I do this frequntrly with clients as a therapist but the point is that it is not a crises line and they shouldn't expect an immediate response.
A lot of therapists suggest journaling, and that doesn't work for me. But this would. glad it works for you, too!
@@nealreiersen6823 It's almost more like a person to person journal for the different events throughout the week, right?
The journaling might have helped, but I think this movie was before widespread cell phone usage.
I remember my father, the chair of the department of psychology at a university, seeing this movie and being *absolutely livid* about Bob's lack of boundaries and ethical breaches, so it's oddly nostalgic to see his viewpoint touched on in this video
I hear patients like this can be treated quite effectively with OC spray.
Alan: "You're a therapist."
Jon: "Yes."
Alan: "And you react to things."
Alan: "On this show I do."
Setting healthy boundaries!
im glad i wasnt the only one thinking of this haha
I thought Jon said the last part
On the other channel he does it too!
😂🤣
I think its strange that you have to preface "If a patient showed up at my home I might call the police" with "Its not because therapy patients are scary"
I do agree, it is good to specify, but that kind of behavior would be worrying no matter the origin. If you didn't tell someone where you live, and they show up there anyway, that's concerning no matter if they're a patient, a co-worker, or a friend.
Your statement is correct in that you shouldn't have to specify, but 'mental patients are scary' is such a trope that you have to actively fight against perpetuating it.
The same should apply if you are that person's (internist) doctor, dentist, lawyer, auto mechanic...
@@ArloMathis Correct, that's why I said it is good to specify in the original comment : )
@@MonkeyJedi99 Absolutely. Showing up uninvited to a residence you were not directly given the location to is creepy and deeply disrespectful no matter who you are.
@@legostuds680 I disagree. The first step is threat mitigation because someone tracking you down without your knowledge and consent it a violation of boundaries. If someone is willing to violate such a major boundary they *might* have an acceptable reason, but you absolutely do need to be prepared for the possibility they may be willing to violate more boundaries to enforce the encounter they are trying to have, or even a particular outcome within that encounter.
Its also not like tracking someone down is the only way to get in touch. If they are ignoring and bypassing standard communication channels, or if they are unsatisfied with the result and are willing to show up at your house because of that, you have to wonder what someone is willing to do if their conversation with you doesn't go as planned.
The “I can give you ten minutes” is what a pastor of mine did (RIP). So many people would call him just to talk that it almost turned into a Reverend Lovejoy situation. My mom filled in as his secretary once when someone showed up & he told my mom to lie & say that he wasn’t there because this lady had been hounding him non stop. My mom responded saying, “Um, doesn’t the Bible say not to lie?” & “she can see you through the window…” so they came up with the 10 minutes thing. Ended up being the best thing. Gave people time & respect, yet he could have a life & do what he needed to do without constant interruption. Of course my mom had to stop herself from laughing when she got a “I only have 10 minutes” call from him years later when she was sick (she got better).
This fully rules. Thanks for the story ^_^
i'm glad ur mom got better!
Reverend Lovejoy 😂 great callback. I like the rule. I'm taking it and shortening to 5 minutes
@@benjamingaster yuppers
I had the exact opposite reaction to this movie as a child. I HATED this movie. I was so angry that Bob wouldn't leave Dr Marvin alone. I was infuriated that Dr Marvin's family was enabling Bob's intrusion. Baby me was even more angry that people found this line-crossing funny that I have never watched it again. It's still not my type of humor, and I'm unlikely to watch it, but I do love some of the understated reactions Richard Dreyfus makes in the early scenes.
me too! I found it so disturbing. I don't find people in pain funny.
Same oh so same
I felt like this as well! I have only ever seen the movie once. I had heard how funny it was and I do love me some Bill Murray, but I found it deeply uncomfortable how no one supported Dr. Marvin or understood how this was totally not okay when Dr. Marvin had several times tried to get him to leave. I was only a pre-teen but I felt uncomfortable with how Bob was supposed to be the good guy in the scenario.
Richard Dreyfus was bullied by Murray, and the contempt is clearly palpable in the film. Bill Murray threw a giant glass ashtray at Dreyfuss...and missed. Fun times on set.
This film was classic but always made me feel a bit uncomfortable and I just found out why.
This is the kind of movie I would call "guy humor." The previews are easy to spot and I avoid them at all costs, even when I was a child. I never found anything funny about Jim Carey. If there is a character with a neon sign over their head saying "look at me, I'm funny," I am out. I can definitely appreciate Richard Dreyfus at the beginning of this movie, but not Bill Murray, and by the end, neither of them. And that all of the other characters are oblivious? Just makes it worse.
I am so glad you covered this moving. This movie has had a major lasting impact on my life.
I was a preteen when this came out and it was so popular. Everyone loved it, so I sat down to watch it and the whole movie just enraged me. From the start, I just felt Bob had no respect for boundaries. I didn't know the word for it back then, but everything Bob did just felt horrible.
The part that stuck with me the most though was how warm Marvin's family took to Bob while dismissing Marvin's feelings. Sure Marvin had some issues, but to have his family brush off the boundaries he tried to set just really sat wrong with me. Bob is literally stalking his therapist. That is not at all okay, but we were supposed to laugh about it.
I do have a sense of humor, but this just wasn't it for me.
That's why The Cable Guy is a better movie. It's also a comedy, but it smartly makes its stalker character much more of a threat. Of course, it is very much a satire of the obsession thrillers of the 90s while What About Bob isnt.
I had the same reaction as you did when I was a kid. It upset me quite a bit that this was supposed to be funny. I won't be watching it now, either, but from the clips, I can see some humor in the early scenes. I'm sure that the overall arc of the movie would still infuriate me.
Well said! I have always felt exactly the same!
i watched it a few years ago when i was little. i hated it. i was so distressed over everyone's lack of boundaries and sense.
@@paulastiles8873 so true. We were definitely all cringe worthy in the 90s.
I agree that the acting between Murray and Dreyfus is amazing. However, the backstory is that off camera, Murray did everything he could to antagonize Dreyfus, including physical harassment, to the point where Dreyfus famously hated Murray’s guts. So what we’re seeing when we watch this is a bit of real-life antagonism.
I heard Bill Murray did the same thing to Lucy Liu on “Charlie’s Angels.”
Yikes
There's a reason Bill Murray gets roles where he makes people uncomfortable, or he's a disgusting slob, or a complete asshole
Oh dang
You guys to do "A Goofy Movie"
The father/son dynamic is so real. A single father trying his best to relate to and enjoy his son. The son feeling misunderstood and embarrassed by his family. The pressure by others to conform to their parenting style and how it backfires. So much psychology could be discussed. It's one of my favorite movies of all time. It deserves an episode!!
SO MUCH YES. It may be father/son but it can apply to any parent/child relationship, UGH SO GOOD
Excellent suggestion! Yes, please do this one.
Oh that's such a good one!
Yes!
Oddly enough it's one of the best and most realistic movies about strained farther-son relationships
Bob is terrifying and I would probably be like Leo and be driven insane. I could not handle Bob. I would need a restraining order. It's just way too scary, I couldn't do it.
Same here.
I felt the same way years ago when I watched this. I almost left the theater a few times…but my friends were laughing so hard, I felt silly. But it creeped me out.
I like the actors but cannot find the humor in this
He is soo scary
I haven't even seen the movie and just the clips creep me out
My brother is a psychiatrist. He told me this movie, as well as Sixth Sense are both scary for therapists. 😅
We watched the sixth sense the other day, it's such a weirdddd movie
@@nicolepatterson5078 yes it is. 😬 Not scary just wwhhhaat?
Why is sixth sense scary for therapist? I mean why this movie specifically...
@@imibee5184 the main character In The sixth sense was a therapist/psychiatrist that was murdered by one of his patients
@@killjoypilotb3193 ohhh thanks. I don't remember that part.
As a kid, this movie always made me feel DEEPLY uncomfortable. I always felt so sorry for Dr. Marvin and just wanted him to be able to spend a nice vacation with his family. I almost forgot all about this movie until this episode.
me too!! i didn't find it funny, i thought it was disturbing.
Ikr? Let the guy have a vacation
Tensions between the leads were high on set, and you can clearly see it. Murray was the aggressor, and a recent Seth Rogan/Aziz Ansari film just got shut down due to Murray's behaviour again 🙄 *sigh*
Can I just say how much I appreciate finding this channel,
My flatmate is in a very dark place, thanks to Jonathan and Alan I’ve being able to process it, understand setting boundaries isn’t a bad thing and recognise I can’t be my flatmates carer
Thanks to you guys I’ve been able to be more tactful in directing my friend the help she needs, she’s now got a treatment plan with the doctor and therapist. Thank you 🙏🏻
I remember a teacher in high school put this film on as a means of 'showing' OCD. Aside from how Bob doesn't have it afaik (I do), the movie made me incredibly uncomfortable. And, well, looking back on it and seeing this slotted it all into place that Bob's a creepy stalker with no boundaries and Leo being the antagonist is really bullshit. (It also speaks to how framing affects many audiences' perception of events in a story, even if there's something quantifiably fucked up going on.)
Everyone who sides with Bob has been gaslit by the team who made it. “Oh, he reacted to being stalked, so that makes him the bad one!” Anyone who’s suffered abuse is likely going to see the Bob character for what it really is. If it weren’t for Murray’s genius, this would be an unknown, unwatchable mess, even with a great actor for the supposed antagonist. The one antagonizing people is Bob.
@@humblejunks Agreed, even if he has a condition that doesn't make the stalking etc ok. It's not
Also watched this in high school for class. Didn't find any of it funny. It was extremely fucked up.
Same here. Watched this in Psychology Class in High School and My Teacher pitched it as "Hey we're gonna watch this film and talk about OCD. I sat there the whole time raising an eyebrow wondering when the OCD was gonna come into play. My teacher also showed us Episodes of Monk, The Office, and Whatever Happened to Baby Jane.
@@Stettafire I saw this as a kid and I sided with Dr Martin...I fully agree with you
I had a case worker/therapist who physically came to my place for appointments (due to my mental I have OCD the and physical disabilities) who gave me her Personal number (it's a courtesy at her job) and I always called the psychiatrist office to schedule appointments with me and the only time I actually called her private phone is if I had to cancel our physical sessions or I went to the emergency room
I remember seeing this in the theater and having a completely different reaction to thus film than my friends. They thought it was hilarious and I was like, how is this not a stalker film? How why are we laughing at his pain?
As someone who actually experienced being stalked, I resonate with your comment. The portrayal of Bob continually ignoring boundaries is exasperating.
That's exactly how I felt when I watched this movie. Everybody else was laughing and I'm just staring at it being like, 'that's... not cool.'
this!! I don't find people being in pain funny in movies, ever. i was so disturbed when i watched this at like 11
I'm so glad that I'm not the only one that finds this scary
I walked into my living room to find my beloved dad sitting in his chair and watching this movie. So I sat down and decided I’d watch it with him, seeing as it was something I’d never seen before. It was a little over halfway through when I asked him, “W-why are people treating this like what he’s doing is okay? This isn’t crazy to you, even a little bit?”
I don’t remember what he said in response, but I know it didn’t help.
Bob was going to behave like that due to his poor mental health! Dr Marvin encouraged the behaviour! Dr Marvin had hidden Mental Health issues of his own!
As a Pastor this whole idea of healthy boundaries is such an important topic. I have had church members act like a Bob to me. I have had church folks show up to my house unannounced for things. It seems over the top here, but it is actually a thing.
A lack of healthy boundaries have also strained relationships with some family members and me. Trying to renegotiate better boundaries is really hard work once an unhealthy pattern has been established.
Healthy boundaries are so important in relationships! Thank you for discussing this!
Hahaha as a veterinarian I had a client call me less than 48 hours after I had given birth and I was so young and sweet I actually answered as if that was ok
I think it's important that movies like this exist. It really brings up this whole topic and shows what certain extremes can look like and why they are bad. It also does it in a way that makes it easier to watch it happening, and allows many people to be on both sides of the argument at some point in their life.
Boundary setting is a behavior related to a "just" personality, or someone who interacts well with Justice. The Mercy being demanded by Bob is toxic in its own sense. The movie allows us to like Bob when we're young, but later realize how bad his behavior truly is. The comedy is just the sugar that helps the medicine go down for most people. Later they learn to be horrified by it once life has given them reason to reflect on it.
It's definitely a thing. What happens in this movie is kind of similar to what happens in the movie Misery. Annie Wilkes violates Paul's boundaries by holding him hostage in her home
I grew up with my dad as a pastor and we all watched this movie when I was a kid thinking that it would be funny. It was too relatable to be funny. Pastors and their families put up with so much weird stuff from people who will not acknowledge boundaries, and it can actually be pretty scary.
@@graciehogue6166 This can be very true. I am sorry your dad and your family had to deal with unhealthy behaviors from church people. I hope that you have many more positive experiences to help outweigh the negative ones.
I'm watching this now, and the boundaries Bob is crossing are terrifying.
I feel like we need an edited What About Bob movie to make it seem like a horror film😂
Just see bob for the move monster that he is and you're set
Indeed, it could easily be a psychological horror, if edited accordingly!
Apply horror music and awkward silence and darker director of photography and voila. :)
Yep, after Leo's family tells Bob that he shouldn't come around anymore, I can see it taking a totally different turn.
Someone recut it as a stalker thriller a few years back: ruclips.net/video/ZzHblfAYPa0/видео.html
This has a lot of 'stalker horror' tropes on display. He's got some pretty strong codependency issues. What keeps this from being EXTREMELY creepy is that Bob likely has no idea what he's doing wrong. He's surprisingly endearing.
It is a bit of tone and a soundtrack change from turning into Cape Fear.
@@MonkeyJedi99 Yeah, you really don't need to change much.
It's still creepy, they (the filmmakers) are trying to frame it as endearing, and Bill Murray's charisma and talent - and his persona/other work - are doing the heavy lifting to make it seem endearing to some/many of the audience, but it already is creepy
This movie is the most “wtf” for me when I’m watching it with anyone else. Seriously I felt like am I the only one who sees how annoying and creepy Bob is?? Every single person in my life has watched this movie thinking he’s so lovable and endearing meanwhile I feel like the therapist losing his mind 😅
If I met Bob IRL I'd probably punch him in the face. He's just annoying
I feel that.
I hadn't come across this film before (maybe it wasn't a big hit internationally/in the UK?) but from watching this video I don't think I could sit through the whole film!
I've had an anxiety spike just from the clips, even though they do a good job of reframing and discussing the issues with, etc
I’m with you, I found Bob creepy and scary! I think I may actually be the only person in the world who can not stand Bill Murray though
@@emmajones8715 I have FOUND MY PEOPLE!! Lol. I mean it’s not that I can’t stand him I just don’t see how he’s funny. Always found him kind of “meh”
I loved this movie as a kid, but I really related to Jonathan's viewing experience. If I left on vacation only to find out that a patient repeatedly lied in order to track down where I was staying with my family (including young kid) I would have an internal meltdown, pack my family into the car, and get them out of the area as quickly as humanly possible, just to get away from the situation and gain some perspective before making snap decisions. The other interesting thing to me is how perfect the ending it. It a weird way Dr. Marvin and Bob are different sides of the same coin. Dr. Marvin is extremely self-involved and spotlight seeking because he is narcissistic. Bob is self-involved and always making himself the center of attention because he is so neurotic and anxious to the point of delusion (The Neil Diamond thing, the manipulative lying, Gimme Gimme). Flipping their therapist/patient roles at the end (Bob as best-selling psychologist and Leo Marvin as shattered, catatonic psych patient) is...unnerving in the way that a Greek tragedy or Shakespearian villain is unnerving.
To think that Bob was my childhood crush (so charmingly awkward and unpredictable)... Now he just scares me.
I had the same mindset Jon had as a kid. “Bob seems nice, if a bit clingy. Just be nice and help him.” Now as an adult, I see Bob’s behavior as incredibly disturbing.
Loved this movie. We have a saying in our family. Anytime over the top things happen we pop of with “but what about Bob?” We are strange.
And of course..." GILL"....to call someone to come faster 😆
Oh, my family quotes this movie ALL THE TIME! It’s one of our all time favorites.
A very good strange.
I think every family has those little "in" jokes that people outside the family wouldn't understand and would think is strange.
My family have something similar too. If we have a particularly good meal, we will pull an Alan and go “Mmmm, mmmmmmmmmm!”
I'm not a psychotherapist, but a massage therapist, and this is scary to me as well. Plus the dual relationship stuff. You learn about it in school, but man it can be tough to navigate. You spend so much time with someone and you get to know so much about them (and in my case they learn about me) and then you cannot actually let them into your personal life.
when I watched this movie as a teen I hated it. One of my mom's patients figured out where we lived and came to our house. We had to call the police because he wouldn't leave. My friends were so confused why it was stressing me out so much.
Even as a kid I really sympathized with Dr Marvin. Still do.
Me too, even though he's an egotistical jackass, it's hard not to sympathise with him as he's driven demented by his own patient.
same
Even in these short clips Bob pisses me the fuck off
@@trinaq his rage grunt is funny though 😂 but yes even as a kid I was on Dr Marvin's side and this from a kid who loves Bill Murray and I still am a Bill Murray fan
I don't; I'm sorry I don't! As a health professional Dr Marvin behaved irresponsibly by encouraging Bob's behaviour!
Omg thank you for this video. My Dad and a few friends love this movie and sympathize so much with Bob and hate Dr. Marvin. But when I watched it in my intro to mental health counseling class I was soooo scared and creeped out by Bob. Even when I watched it as a child I felt so bad for the therapist. And everyone thought I was heartless for that. So thank you for validating that.
I don't think I've ever watched this movie, but hell if that isn't an uncomfortable movie, even if in snippets, to bear with. Now I never dealt with stalking, but I've had friends who dealt with wackjobs who sounded similar to Bill Murray's character in there, who stalked them, reaching out to them even after communication was cut and restraining orders were placed, while excusing their behavior on whatever their condition or personal problem was. There was nothing funny or cute about them, in fact one of my friends, whose stalker was an ex-boyfriend she had from back in college, who literally moved states three times following her for over a decade, was of this sort, only when he finally got close to her once again, by finding her with her then toddler child on the supermarket, he threatened to kill her and then himself because she had hurt his feelings and abandoned him in his darkest times. 90s comedies were pretty much hit or miss but this is by far one of the greatest misses because hell if this doesn't come off as just extremely creepy and horrific.
I watched this with my family a few years ago (I'm 14) before I realized I was autistic. Everyone thought it was funny, but I was so disturbed. It made me so anxious and I was close to having a meltdown. Everyone ignoring boundaries ah!!! And I HATE comedy based off someone suffering. It basically a psychological horror produced like a comedy.
My family loved this movie so much they would watch it every week, so my mother ended up hiding the DVD because she hated Bob with every fiber of her being. I found it again a while back and watched it and understand why she did it now
Oh I share your mom's sentiments god Bob creeps me the F out. Even if I saw this movie as a Child I am certain it would.
Bill Murray was so intense in this movie, he actually did in fact, pissed Richard Dreyfuss off quite literally at the time. Bill was really drunk then and yelled at Richard, claiming "Everybody hate you! You are tolerated!" Richard walked out during the set and the two actors never spoken since. Although, it was Bill's intention to annoyed Richard in character but the two really hated each other. You can tell pretty easily from their performances on screen throughout the whole movie...
I believe Bill has since apologized, which Richard accepted, but they're still not on speaking terms.
I have a hard time viewing this movie as a comedy, but I think it's because Murray's over-the-top behaviour doesn't strike me as funny. All of the clips shown in this video actually make me feel unsettled because of how invasive he's being. I'm glad Jonathan and Alan talk a lot about boundaries and how important they are.
"I´m an expert in research and literature and therapy. You are an expert in your marriage, your family..."
brilliant words! genius!
I don't think I ever watched this movie in its entirety. Mostly because Bob terrified me. I am very introverted and possibly autistic. The thought of someone invading my space, following me everywhere, and not letting me de-stress on my own. That would be my own personal nightmare.
I watched this a few years ago (I'm 14) before I realized I was autistic. I was so disturbed and didn't find it funny at all. It made me so anxious and I was close to having a meltdown. Everyone ignoring boundaries ah!!! And I HATE comedy based off someone suffering.
It drove me crazy, and I also think I could be autistic. Hmm. I wonder if this is a bigger pattern of hating the movie/autistic tendencies than just us?
Well, Bob shows some very blatant autistic traits - the literal interpretation of "baby steps" being the biggest indicator to me - and I rather suspect his parents either didn't care, or didn't realize, that they needed to teach him specifically about honoring boundaries (and a few other things that are seen even in these clips - I'll note, this video is all I know about the movie, since I've never watched it), because it's not something that autistics will necessarily pick up on on their own because of how our brains work (some autistics might manage to pick it up on their own, but definitely not all of them), so direct instruction is needed if they don't, because they also won't necessarily know that it's wrong if they're not taught that it is.
I'm sure there have been some people in my life who have gotten annoyed with me for a similar reason, but no one had taught me about honoring boundaries, so I didn't know it was even a thing; looking back on those instances, I feel bad for them because I do know now, and some of them I'm almost mortified about because I was just so oblivious back then and now I know better (I will note that most of those were before I was diagnosed, so I thought it was totally normal to contact someone if I knew of a way to do it, even if, for example, it was a teacher who maybe had technically clocked out for the day but was still in the building, just a different part of it - our school building housed more than just a school, so some teachers had an office in that other part as well as a desk in the school's faculty room - so I knew where to look for some of them if I had a question about the homework after school and they were no longer at their desk).
@@esm1817 I helped raise my nephew and niece who were both diagnosed as autistic when they were young. I never thought I could be autistic until my therapist suggested it. Now I'm in the middle of my evaluation.
I'm not sure of bigger pattern, but I find it odd that there aren't more people disturbed by what happens in the movie. In my opinion it's more a horror movie than a comedy.
@@esm1817 maybe we find it more distressing due to heightened empathy/anxiety?
If you guys want to react to another movie therapist, Jamie Lee Curtis in Freaky Friday could be a fun one. It could be a good example of just because someone is a therapist doesn't mean they're successful in their personal relationships.
Also it's just a great movie
💯, Nicole!
My therapist always tells me if I have a moment and I need her to send her a text and she would call me as soon as she can.
I can say I have never had to do that, I've only been with her for about 4 months now. But knowing she's there is nice.
I remember my dad putting this on when I was a younger bean as a family show to watch. I always felt so bad for the therapist dude, as well as awkward, off-put, angry, sorry, and just pure sympathy for the guy sometimes.
Sure, Bob was funny and Marvin wasn't a pleasant person per say, but I actually always used the therapist guy as the audience insert character and thus always felt horrendously awkward and unsettled watching it. Especially since having to deal with necessary confrontations (i.e. telling someone they're not welcome at your vacation house) was a huuuggggeeee problem for me when I was young.
But great video!!! I was super excited when this popped up in my notification :)
You should cover Shattered Glass. It's one of Hayden Christiansen's best performances and he's surrounded by a fantastic supporting cast. It's a great example of a manipulative personality and how it takes an outsider to see how devious this person (Stephen Glass) really is.
I love how Dreyfuss and Murray's characters have their roles switched by the end. Murray gets over his phobias, becoming a psychiatrist himself, while his former therapist Dreyfuss is driven insane, becoming his patient.
Ooofff, I haven’t seen this but that hurts.
That was the best part of the movie was how the roles were reversed by the end!!!! Totally messed up but extremely ironic !!!!
It's interesting to me that you talk about how important to Marvin his image is, and how carefully he cultivates it. I think this extends to the best supporting actor in this film - Richard Dreyfus's beard. I am endlessly fascinated by how perfect it is. And of course it's a nod to his own hero, Freud.
I know you have a long list of films and this one wouldn't be a typical style for you, but I would love to see a treatment of The Big Chill. Lifespan development, loss of idealism/disillusionment, friendships and values changing or being outgrown, the impact of suicide.
Are you on the Discord server? You can recommend movies there
He looks like my scientist teacher and yes his last name was Martin and he Always referenced this film 😂
Also, two movies I'd love to see both of you cover are The Last Unicorn and Sliding Doors. The Last Unicorn is great because it has all of these various people with needs. You start out with the Unicorn having issues not being able to find the rest of her kind (and a few other traumatic things happens to her). There's Schemedrick who wants to be this great wizard but lacks confidence and does not believe in himself. There's Maggie who likewise does not believe in herself. (At one point she criticizes the Unicorn for waiting until she was an adult who went through adult stuff before finally revealing herself to Maggie. Remember, only the pure and chaste do unicorns reveille themselves to.) Even King Haggard and his son Prince Lir have issues. Also, one of the fluffy willows comes to life saying , "Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love," over and over.
Sliding Doors is a great film because it looks at one person's life right at a particular spot. The movie splits into two timelines where it depends on if the main character makes the subway train or doesn't. One goes off showing the person having a generally good life, while the other is shit. There's infidelity, relationships, and maybe some Monty Python Quotes. I can't say more for ruining it, but I'd like to see "what the therapist thinks." Also, there's a lot of cuts and edits, and would love to have that part broken down by the film director.
I felt that part about feeling like a "failure" of a parent. I hate raising my voice at my child or not having time.
In our era of cell phones and email and the inability to properly unplug, this movie resonates more than ever before.
Also Bob's germophobia.
@@flaminyawn When it comes to germaphobia and OCD, Monk did it better. Way better.
I always thought Marvin was in the right until he starts trying to kill Bob.
Not sure what it says about me, but I found myself sympathizing with Marvin even then.
@@andreamiller3578 true. We never were children?
The moment he pushes him off the dock is so instinctive on Leo's side is hilarious
@@erikagehm2805 Bob isn't a child
@@Stettafire I know. For whatever reason Bob lost his ability to understand/set up healthy boundaries. The movie was all about Bob relearning how to adult, and Marvin learning how to loosen up.
I was in high school when this movie first came out, and I loved it for the comedy. After several years of being a mental health provider I watched it again recently. It's still funny, but now it's more of a gallows humor and a strong cautionary tale.
Someone tracks me down at home, but especially at my vacation home, and I’m calling the cops. And that being said, I worked in mental healthcare for 7 years. But I’m a single momma now. I don’t take the violation of specific boundaries well.
Would I press charges? No. I’d insist the police took them to the ER for mental health evaluation and a 72 hour hold. But I’d still call them and then get them a referral for a new therapist and cut all therapeutic ties.
What About Bob is such a great movie, and it's really interesting hearing an actual therapist talk about it!
So here's the question.. Why is the autistic coded character, the thing we were supposed to laugh at? My brood is working on recognition and communication of boundaries, all the time, Bob, has exhibited traits of a person on the spectrum.
Hmmm
@@yvonnethompson844 I'm an Aspie. I also have a Master's in Counseling Psychology (I adore this channel!) and am soon to move into doctoral candidate (ABD) status for my PhD in General Psychology, where I am probably more accurately under the Social Psychology specialization but I have a bit too much interdisciplinary flavor to make that stick. 😉 So General it is. I love studying how people think and behave. Helps me navigate my own relationships as well. Win-win. 😊
That said, given my own ASD level 1 (the condition defined as Asperger's prior to the DSM-5's publication), and my work in vocational rehabilitation, I have a keen interest in keeping up with news from the autism spectrum. It's pretty well known at this point that Dan Aykroyd has openly stated he has this diagnosis. However, I saw a clip where Bill Murray said he is also on the spectrum. I've been trying to find a link to it for about ten minutes, but so far I've only found a number of Autism advocates referencing his statement. I know one such advocate posted about it in 2014. I suspect it was well before that, however, given Murray wrote a children's book about a family with an autistic family member in 2006. "James' Gift," I believe was the title.
Many will say he's clearly showing signs of ADHD and I agree, but the two are not necessarily mutually exclusive. I have both diagnoses, for example. Signs and symptoms of ADHD are included in the diagnostic criteria options for autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), but ADHD becomes a separate diagnosis if the social and personal impairment caused by the symptoms exceed what would typically be found within the other diagnosis. That is to say, if the ADHD goes "above and beyond" what you'd frequently find in someone carrying an ASD diagnosis, then you isolate the ADHD and identify it as a separate clinical concern. I can absolutely see Bill Murray carrying both diagnoses, personally.
And apologies for the clinical-sounding reply. It's hard to talk about some of this stuff without using precise language, AND I'm taking a break from writing a paper for a class, so my head's in a sort of academic break limbo reflected in my writing, apparently. 😆
Here's one of those advocate sources.
aspergersissues.tumblr.com/post/79272940511/for-those-that-dont-know-bill-murray-has
@@rarmccoy I find it fascinating, that people choose to hold on to the name of a eugenicists, that selected the higher functioning patients, as useful, and allowed the rest of the community to be killed alongside the other undesirables during World war two, and before, I find it. Counterproductive, to have a separate classification for the situation, when it can be traced back to the same series of mutations in the brain, and the subsequent 'switches' hat determine exactly where the mutations actually effect anything, or not. I am classified as 'aspie' because I'm high functioning, but there are days, where even I could be counted as non verbal, non responsive, and all of what would make me be on the slaughter list. . keep that in mind, as you work toward your goal
I was watching this aloud and my roommate looked throughly disturbed during the Lisa popcorn bit 😂
Social media hasn’t helped with client boundaries either! As a hairdresser I’d get questions and messages on my days off which was disappointing… some people didn’t respect that I have a life outside of their hair appointments
"Every single therapist I know is also human."
I would have a lot more questions if that wasn't the case.
Speaking of disguised horror movies, you might want to do the 1995 Jumanji (starring Robin Williams). That movie is a horror film and ALSO one of the very few movies that I can unequivocally say is an adult movie disguised as a kids' film* (the other is Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame, and that one is only because there is no real way to make that story child-centered even if you animate it so you basically have to paper over the cracks with fart jokes and horse sitting jokes if you want kids to watch it, which they did).
*plenty of kids' films can be appreciated by adults, and same with shows, but that is what makes them family films/shows - they can be enjoyed by all ages. Adult movies disguised as kids' films are a whole other animal.
This was one of my favorites growing up. Recently found out that Richard Dreyfuss had real issues with Murray so some of the tension may have been real.
That movie gave me extreme anxiety because of the crazy boundary pushing and the doctor being pitched as the bad guy. I NEVER was able to enjoy that movie!!!
I remember watching this movie a long time ago with a random group of friends. I got so frustrated because I couldn’t understand why they adored this movie so much! I was absolutely HORRIFIED by what was going on. I couldn’t even enjoy the actual funny bits because everyone around me idolized the movie and Bob so much that it truly frightened me. 😬😰😱
Being pals w/clients also creates bias; we view our friends w/rose colored glasses, giving their behavior more leeway by providing excuses to defend it. Unrelated, his sterile & joyless office was so uninviting, it made me curious about what Jonathan's space is like. I imagine warm colors, nothing too bright or muted, more wood than steel, gentle artificial & soft natural light, w/photos of his loved ones & knick-knacks on his desk, silly but sentimental.
"We have prisons built in our minds we can literally just walk out of." Yes! Thank you!
Would it have been appropriate to tell Bob, "you crossed a lot of inappropriate boundaries and following me to Maine shows that you don't respect me. I gave you the name of another good therapist that could have helped you in my absence, and you do not respect my advice enough to seek their help. Your presence here is scaring my family. I am sorry, but I cannot help you anymore. I cannot see you in any form anymore. Please, go away or I will be forced to call law enforcement."
At what point it goes from just inappropriate behavior to stalking?
I get why Dr. Marvin finds it hard to listen to people outside of work. I work with people who studied organisational/work psychology. As people do not distinguish between us and real therapists, we often get approached with certain work related problems (from the easier to solve quarrels to addiction etc.). If we did a lot of case work (having to listen, having to ask the (right) questions, NOT solving the problem), I find it hard to have the energy to do the same at home. I will ask if we can push the conversation, if there is a chance ... But sometimes it is hard having energy for all this. And I am not a therapist who has to do it a lot more often.
However, therapist/counseling training includes ways to manage boundaries, personal/professional roles, self-care, and so on. I've straddled that line for decades, having done my Master's in Counseling Psychology (but not seeking licensure) and working in career development and vocational rehabilitation. Flip side of I/O, and I'm currently in one of my final PhD classes which involves developing I/O consulting professional development plans. I'm learning quite a bit about those working on the I/O side, and they express many of the same concerns as you did.
Toss in being an introvert (among other things) and that balance of energy expenditure becomes even more critical.
"Gimme gimme gimme!! I need I need I need!!!" I freaking LOVE that line!!!! Arguably the best line in the movie (which I didn't really like as a whole).
I caught that moment, correcting yourself from "I have no time" to "I haven't made the time."
That's a sign of a man working on himself.
As someone whose mother verbatim said at one point, "You're my hobby," I so related to that part about people ignoring boundaries and needing to spread the love.
Taking a vacation from my problems is strangely exactly what I needed to hear today. I know perfectly well that I can step out of most of my problems myself right now, but I am just so freaking scared of the consequences. I lived with cptsd for the majority of my life undiagnosed. After my last big crash I finally got a diagnosis, but for over 3 years I have been only focusing on my mental health, not able to work. Year one I spend in hospital and coming to terms with it. Year two I started building a safety net/system. Year three I started searching for a tribe and healthy friendships and set strong boundaries and ended unhealthy relationships.
I am super scared to go back to working, because I only know my undiagnosed and badly coping self at work and I don't want to fall back into old patterns. My diagnosis and symptoms have also become a significant part of my perceived identity. I worry that if I don't fit into the cliché I won't be believed anymore and that I will start doubting myself again. My diagnosis has helped me a lot over the years, but I believe it has now become a prison I have trapped myself in. I would never say this to a person I know, but I feel it fits in here well. Yesterday I made the decision to go from early retirement back to full time employment and my body isn't to happy about it. On Sunday I will take some headshots and next week I will start searching for a home office position. I really want to point out how helpful and eye opening cinema therapy has been for me. Especially since I don't have access to therapy. It doesn't replace it of course, but I found your videos to be an extremely valuable tool to reflect and learn from. Thank you so much. I am terrified right now, but I am taking my baby steps 😁❤️
This is seriously my favorite movie and I’m beyond excited for this. As a kid we had about a dozen VHS tapes and this was one of them, so I’ve seen it hundreds of times.
I've also seen it hundreds of times! I'm pretty sure my grandparents had a CD of it. I've seen it so many times that it was previously memorized, and reenacted in two Ballon plays!
SAME
I would have called the police as soon as Bob tracked me down. He seems like a dangerous sociopath. Marvin owed it to his family to protect them.
Yeah 😒 I understand this film is supposed to be a comedy of sorts but having had a parent who collected troubled people throughout my young life (trying to help them deal with mental health etc) & who had difficulty themselves with boundaries...? Eesh.
Wanting to help troubled people is wonderful, but being mindful of boundaries and how your actions might impact on your family is also part of being a responsible parent? My memories are very vivid of one instance where one of those troubled guys turned up at our house while I was home alone, pursued by a bunch of gang types he'd managed to antagonize... 😵
This therapist guy reacting on what about Bob must make an epic counselor . Hats off to you and your belief system and putting it all to good use in helping those of us that seek real help . I'd bet everything that even those that say they don't need the help probably need it more then the rest of us!
26:00 friend of mine actually had an issue arise with her therapist a couple of years ago where they accidentally ended up in the same department staffing for the same convention, nothing was intentional on either of their part they just happened to be doing the same things independently of each other, but if I recall my friend had to be moved to the manga library (easy quiet room, if you consider staffing for an anime convention the manga library is a great option) for her hours because of how they shouldn’t be mixing like this
I have always loved this movie! Probably because I think we have all been a little Bob and and a little Marvin. We all have that person who gets under our skin and I know I've definately been the annoying one people want to ditch. It's hillarious because those roles are both blown so out of proportion, with Bob being an insane stalker and Marvin being a narcissistic professional. Neither of them are "good people" and I don't think we are supposed to root for or side with either of them.
PLS My greatest character arc in life was adoring this movie and Bob as a child and then randomly waking up some day last year and coming to the sudden realization that, "Hey, maybe that therapist from 'What About Bob?' was actually in the right to be upset about Bob's behavior🤔😆"
See even as a very little kid, the doc never seemed like a jerk to me! Bob was always the bad guy. The first time I watched this I honestly thought it was a dark comedy, and it was going to end with him murdering the whole family! For real!
THANK YOU!!! I couldn't wait for this episode of Cinema Therapy as I grew up with this movie and same- loved Bob and had a difficult time seeing it clearly from the perspective of good boundaries and didn't really relate it to real life. Having now had my own experiences of people consistently and persistently railroading my own boundaries, however, and having to even completely cut someone out of my life who, ironically has a little more extreme narcissistic qualities... Dr. Marvin seems so mild in comparison in that respect that I didn't necessarily recognize that aspect of his character either... it is so interesting to go back and see it from not just a cinematic perspective, but a reality based perspective. To see an example of someone who is a socially functioning narcissist, in a sense, was especially fascinating to me. One who doesn't completely alienate and abuse family or friends (unless pushed to Bob-type extremes ;) ) and can at the very least portray reasonably socially respectful behaviors gives one a sense of perspective in not allowing someone with a narcissistic personality to use that as an excuse to continue abusing the relationship- whether it be family, friend, or romantic in nature. A good lesson in communication of boundaries too. Thank you :)
as much as I don't like to admit it. I really identified with Bob in that first appt. with panicking leaving the house. i become like aggressively aware of everything around me, even like hypersentiively aware of my feet when I try to drive. it's weird.
OMG, I am so glad you reacted to *What About Bob?!!* I have always loved that movie because the acting is next level fantastic and the storyline is indeed a horror movie! 🤣😂🤣 The ending with Bob and Lily 👰🏽🤵🏽 nearly makes me pass out from laughing each time I watch it. Even though I know it's coming, I am STILL caught off guard and howl with laughter! 😂🥰😁
This movie must have horrified me as a child, like it did so many others. Even now, I feel myself getting wound up just watching it. Truthfully, I struggle to watch Bill Murray in other movies. I wonder if seeing him as Bob first might explain why.
I'm completely with you - there's something about Bill Murray's vibe that makes all his work unwatchable to me. I just never trust what he's saying, and I never like the way he's saying it - it's not personal, I know nothing about him, never even heard of this movie before today. But you're not alone! At least there's that :)
There are very few movies of Bill Murray's I actually like. And then he's reportedly a dick to work with on top of it.
I really enjoy this movie, but you’re so right about the boundaries. Even just the part with him trying to call him, without him even showing up, is so terrible.
Directed by the movie, Yoda was. Fun fact this is.
Yep, Frank Oz.
Lol you're 'perfectly in perfect'. I totally get that...I had so much guilt over not being a machine essentially...the spirit for my job is there (nurse) just the flesh has always been weak. People can't work out how I connect with my patients...possibly cause I'm a bit TOO human. My body doesn't respond well to physical or mental stress (no one's does...mine tends to respond in vomiting and muscle spasms without 10 hours sleep a night) but the flip side to that is I get a little too much how my patients feel and sensing my other colleagues when they are starting to burn out and need to step away for a minute. I find being used to being super imperfect is helpful in caring for other but also not burning out within like...2 seconds. I'd rather be imperfect than pretend to be perfect and not be able to be of use to anyone.
That was really insightful. I struggle with this same thing a lot. I feel that I can be a lot more passionate and creative at times than my peers in my work, but i burnout so fast compared to them.
People kept telling me to become a nurse, growing up. It ran in the family. I was like, nope! ...For precisely all the reasons you mentioned. Way to go, you! That can't be easy.
I think I speak for everyone when I say that Bob should get a new therapist, for both parties' sake
I agree, it would be a conflict of interest and a dual relationship if he doesn’t change
This drove me up the wall when I was younger! 😂. I was like how dare he intrude like this?? Lol
Hell yeah! Can't wait to watch this in my free time! I love this movie, and I love this channel! Thanks for creating videos and being yourself! Also, I was one of the ones thar suggested this. I'm not sure if others did, but I know I did.
Also, at one point I had this movie fully memorized, from watching it so much. Also also, I did two balloon plays renacting this movie.
Hope you enjoy it!
@@CinemaTherapyShow I really enjoyed it! Now I'm seeing it in a new light! Plus I found foreshadowing when Bob said, "Fire Island"!
Hope you react to The Little Mermaid and father-daughter relationship between Triton and Ariel. There is a story of a cop becoming tearful and reconnected with his estranged daughter after watching the film.
I watched this as a kid and it terrified me. My family was laughing, but as someone who greatly values her boundries and personal space Bob was nightmare fuel. But honestly, Dr Marvin's style is perfect for SOME people, just not for Bob. Some people go to therapy with an outlook of " I don't want warm fuzzy pretenses, you are a brain doctor and I have an issue, lets lay out symptoms until we can find the cause and the treatment." For some people, the assurances of "look how great I am, here is physical proof that I am accomplished and therefore adequately skilled" is worth more than social skill. For people like that, Dr Marvin is perfect! For Bob he's almost as bad as no therapy, because he's enabling him. Don't look internally to become self sufficient, just listen to the doctor.
I'm honestly rather surprised just how many people clearly missed the fact that Bob blatantly displays many autistic traits - the literal interpretation of "baby steps" was one of many massive red flags that Bob is not neurotypical, and so cannot be assumed to be as such. If I had seen this movie in grade school, I probably would have thought Bob was funny, but knowing what I know now, I just feel really sorry for him, partly because Marvin didn't lay out clearly enough for him how things were going to work in the office while Marvin was on vacation, but mainly because it's clear that Bob's parents didn't teach him to honor boundaries when people set them, because it's pretty clear that he doesn't know that what he's doing is wrong and could be misconstrued as something else. Because no, honoring boundaries is not something everyone "just knows" - many of us have to be specifically taught it, and that necessity is not a moral defect (despite what some people might think), it's literally how our brains work.
@@SnowySpiritRuby True, but being autistic isn’t an excuse to stalk your therapist, especially since Dr. Marvin *verbally* stated those boundaries to Bob.
If anything, autistic people struggle with NON-VERBAL social cues.
If Doctor Marvin ghosted Bob, then I could see why Bob was so persistent, since autistic people don’t do well with lacking closure.
@@beethovensfidelio I never actually said that it "excused" his behavior, because it doesn't - it merely explains it. And also, no, your claim about verbal vs. nonverbal isn't entirely true - if verbal cues aren't direct enough and clear enough aka too implicit, we won't necessarily understand them, either; Marvin eventually gets there (after so much inconsistency that it makes it really hard for even me to figure out why he's all of a sudden putting his foot down when he was willing, albeit grudgingly, to go along with Bob's requests before), but he didn't do it at the very beginning like he should have, and Bob's parents still should have taught him about honoring boundaries and *_why_* it's so important (I don't know whether this is common among autistics or whether it's just me, but there are certain societal "rules" that I downright refuse to follow unless I know - and accept as reasonable - the reason why i.e. I'm no-nonsense, and many social rules, their reasons are just stupid, so I don't follow them (the particular rules I'm referring to are benign/neutral, so it doesn't actually matter whether I follow them or not)).
@@SnowySpiritRuby I know you weren’t trying to make excuses! If anything, I agree with your post.
@@beethovensfidelio Ah, apologies - autism can sometimes make it hard to read someone's meaning if words are the only thing to go on (no facial expression, etc.), and apparently I misunderstood.
I always saw Bob as definitely lacking boundaries and in desperate need of attention, a sad and creepy character, but I also saw Leo as a covert narcissist who preferred controlling his family (and clients) to loving them.
Of note is also that Dr Leo’s colleague is the one who intentionally sics Bob on Leo. Probably an indication Leo is more of an equal opportunity jerk.
Bob, however, is a great example of how once his inner need is met, the outward manifestations of lunacy and creepiness subside so he’s relatively normal.
Frankly, I wouldn’t want to be around either of them for any protracted amount of time.
I remember my dad really looking forward to this movie when it first came out. When we finally saw it on VHS he thought it was one of the worst movies he'd ever seen.
I talked to my Mom about this episode and she told me that, everyone else loved this movie but she found it frustrating and upsetting. She couldn't figure out why but this episode really helped her identify it and how she could relate to Dr. Marvin getting his boundaries trampled after just trying to help.
I've never actually seen this movie, but it's always been ingrained in my memory from a mention in the book "7 Habits of Highly Effective Teenagers" (my dad got it for me lol) and they mentioned baby steps in the first habit "Be Proactive". Interesting to see so many polarizing but all valid reactions here. Very enlightening video!
I watched this movie for the first time with some friends and the man who is now my husband, and I HATED it. I still low-key really hate it. We have enough stigmatizing films about people with mental illness, and at the time I was pretty sick myself, so I did not appreciate it.
@Rachael Snyder-McGehee - That's a really good point about stigmatizing (and stereotyping) the mentally ill for laughs.
I always found romatcatizing illness and denying mental ill people cant be asshole or murders is worse then stigmatizing. This perfect exmaple of sympathizing someone for having a problem instead seeing that theg are pushing boundaries and being incriminating
They just don't make comedies like this anymore, it's a shame. Always a fave.
1. Jon should totally dress up like Leo, but Alan needs to dress up as Bob so it makes more sense.
2. You two need to make a video when you do (whatever topic) so the rest of us can see the masterpiece.
Thank you for doing this movie! I was hoping you would! As a therapist this movie is one of my favorites and scariest!
My dad was always careful about telling me the horrors of the situation if it were happening in real life. Don't get me wrong, we still find it hilarious, that's just the beauty of well written comedy and good actors playing it, but the first time we watched it my dad would always point out "the doctors kind of right though isnt he?". And I feel like that's the perfect way to watch movies like this. You can still enjoy the talent of the comedy but it's important to recognize how terrible it would be in reality.
Please consider analyzing Barbra Streisand’s film “The Prince of Tides,” where she also plays a therapist, and Nick Nolte plays the brother of her patient. It’s a heavy film with complex relationships, but it’s a good watch with great performances. 🧐🎭🙏🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🎬🎞🎥🍿
My therapist gave me a vacation from 'sanity'. She said I always consider everyone except from myself, but I've just been through a tough break up so she said I should just try to do and say what I want for a while because nobody can expect me to act rational under the circumstances. So I got the vacation handled to me...
I've been waiting so long for you to react to this. But you're right in that, to people who are not aware of codependent/narcissistic behavior, it's a funny film. It still makes me laugh, but I see the dark side of it... I'll be quiet and I'll be peace 😆😆😆
This has always been a horror movie to me. Despite laughing during some of rhe scenes, this movie never not stresses me out to an insane degree. Bob's personality, his behavior and absolute refusal to respect boundaries sets my teeth on edge.
I've seen this movie when I was a kid. It's funny and I thought 'Bob' was totally funny. Now that I'm older I see Bob as an annoyance. Come to think of it what if Bob was a type of metaphor for Leo? Leo cares a lot about his image and never gets angry. Bob doesn't care about his image and is a total wreck lose. What if Bob was EVERYTHING that Leo suppresses to have a good reputation? What if Bob was the other person Leo desired to be but never lived up to it because he has a lot to lose?
That actually is a good take. Plus then it ending makes a bit more sense?
Wow I’ve watched this movie countless times and never considered that! Thank you!!