Practical Self-Compassion: Tools & Practices (Part 1 of 2)
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- Опубликовано: 27 июн 2016
- This is part one of an informal talk given on self-compassion as grounded in the principles of Nonviolent Communication, facilitated for a group of women going through divorce in April of 2016
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Dr. Yvette Erasmus is a psychologist, teacher, and consultant who specializes in transformative education for human healing and growth, helping people embrace differences while staying grounded in their fundamental unity. A sought-after relational-intelligence expert, Dr. Erasmus offers various programs for community learning as well as one-on-one consulting. Her approach synthesizes mind-body medicine, somatic experiencing, diversity and inclusiveness, nonviolent communication, and integral-relational-cultural psychology, bringing what has been divided and fragmented into wholeness and harmony. To learn more, visit yvetteerasmus.com.
❤this presentation is a golden thread in the cloth of understanding and ‘choicefullness’ in your word. We can identify and accept our needs and feelings.
My therapist recommended me this, or actually another video of you, to start have a healthy dialogue with my self and others. Thanks.
I love your clear and easy to understand explanations. Thank you, it’s very helpful 💕
Very helpful! Thank you’
I have literally cried for hours unstoppable..Asked the doc what was wrong with me..he said nothing, just depression you'll be fine...
I really like you and your presentations! I have studied and been in therapy in Bioenergetics (Alexander Lowen) and NVC, and find your message wonderful (wonderful is a judgement and feeling! :)).
In spite of your reported early training from your family and larger community (to deny or stuff your feelings and learn a controlling way of communicating), I think you have some emotional health and strength that came from your DNA. And/or you got more healthy interactions from your family than I've heard about from your videos.
We're dealt a deck (it's not fair or even), that keeps changing, but limits are always present in our choices and what happens in the environment outside of us. I see your innate strength of self and like it! I appreciate your gift and hope you reach lots of people :).
Patrick Bronson
Thank you! Feeling much appreciation for your taking the time to share; Bioenergetics and NVC both have the potential to be pretty transformative! :-) Your comments about strength in our DNA reminded me of some of the reading I've been doing in/about "Gene Keys," which I am just beginning to explore further. Lovely to wake up to this comment this morning - thank you so much for sharing.
Appreciate the posting
Thank you.
Maslow cleared that us for the most part
Fantastic 🙏 💪 💘
11:40 Switching from the lens of "what is wrong" (-> spiraling down, dependent child position) to "what can help"
15:20 Staying in the here and now (where you have power and efficacy) -> not ruminating on the past or future-projecting what could happen. Getting back into your body
21:00 Paying attention to your *reactive patterns* (defensive strategies to not feel how awful this thing is feeling): when something isn't going well, is unpleasant, or you're feeling a difficult feeling (grief, anger, pain, etc.) -> go up into our heads (getting lost in ruminating or future-projecting) and getting lost in little control strategies -> likely to get very stuck in an old pattern (like video games, addictions, distractions -> band-aids). INSTEAD: take your feelings, give them a name, and use them as data points for what your DEEP, DEEP desires are and DEEP things you are VALUING
22:56 Awareness of your needs is the source of your strength. When your needs are well met, you will have all kinds of pleasant feelings. And when your needs are not being well met, you will experience some form of suffering.
***Self-compassion invites us to know what we're feeling, what suffering is alive in our lives right now and to then put our attention on the DEEP needs that are not being met, so that we can move in the direction of meeting them (even if moving in the direction is very big and life changing and there's fear surrounding it).***
ALSO: Definitely too secular. Imagine what she would say if this were combined with STS/STA + everything I know about spirituality.
Great job. Thank you for this helpful comment
are these good strategies for men also?
Absolutely .... and, they might look or sound differently depending upon the context in which you might be using them ....