Unless you have experienced the grief, of C/t you just can’t quite get it. Sam, You get it! I would hear folks talk about having a job, and a relationship, and hear them say that had anxiety. The anxiety with ct is a wire that runs thru the body, it’s so intense and deep; and frightful. I could not work, socialize or remember my way home. I forgot passwords bank numbers. Names. I cried everyday for eleven years. It’s crippling, in a dysfunctional family, you can’t be sick, ever! I got sick. No one else got help. Sam, No one gets it. That’s ok. Strangers pointed me in the right direction. ❤️thank s for getting it!
I've been doing top down work like truthful journaling, mind to body, but also bottom up work. Grounding, calming the nervous system which then in turn quiets the mind. We are dealing with 'tension myositis/myoneural syndrome' from the trauma. Basically a stress illness caused by chronic elevated stress. In the UK the SIRPA (stress illness recovery practitioners association) organisation is set up to help, you use neuroplasticity to reset the nervous system back to a normal baseline. Youre doing the work and should be so proud of yourself. Remember God loves you. Bless you Sam.
This is really helpful, thank you. Yes, processing trauma is one thing but then rewiring our nervous system is another long process. I shall look into SIRPA today. Thanks again. God bless you
I was so blessed by your walk and talk video this morning. You're voice served as a reminder to stop "hiding in the apartment of my mind" but to live honestly in the moment and be willing to be visible! I recall the verse in Genesis 16 when Hagar, the rejected servant runs away with her child Ismael into the desert. She is desperate and hopeless. Then she encounters the Lord, the one who has counted her tears and the number of hairs on her head. "You are the God who sees me and I have seen." she says as she joyfully and confidently returns.
Yes, I think God waits for us to raise our heads and look up, we meet his gaze, feel the light of Gods presence within us and truly begin to live. Thank you for sharing this .
I had to look up your videos and couldn't remember your channel name exactly. Finally found it again. Your videos and channel are wonderful. Thank you for all of your time and energy you put into each one. You bless all of our lives. Thank you.
Sam! I wrote in my journal, yesterday, after being prompted: “I’m playing to no audience; I’m hiding.” And boom! Here you are. Amazing! And I, too, appreciate you talking about PTSD and the nervous system producing pain. It’s hard living with this type of pain in a world that wants to determine for us what’s “real.” The pain is very real. Thank you.💕
Well, the camera on the stick worked really well. It was like walking with you and chatting along the way. A few minutes into the video, the thought crossed my mind, "I see him.", I may have even said it out loud, to God, and then you started to talk about being seen. It felt like I had said it and had been overheard. LORD, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I get up; You understand my thought from far away. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, LORD, You know it all. You have encircled me behind and in front, And placed Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is too high, I cannot comprehend it. Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take up the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will take hold of me. If I say, “Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night,” Even darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You. For You created my innermost parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, because I am awesomely and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You When I was made in secret, And skillfully formed in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my formless substance; And in Your book were written All the days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them. From Psalm 139
Hi! I'm new to your channel. This is the first video I came across with, but will definitely look for more. Thank you for your comforting words and powerful presence. I hear you, I see you. I also loved to read all the previous comments and see the blessings and kind thoughts from everyone. So beautiful! Warm blessings from me, too!
You are such a beautiful man and your words are medicine for my soul. I love this format. Keep putting your essence out into the world - You've inspired me to stop being invisible! From one C-PTSD sufferer to another - onward and upward!
@@Call-Me-Sam I really saw you in this video. It was a flash in your eyes, I saw your true, deep, core self emerging. May God continue to bless you on your healing journey.
I love this setting of your video, what a healing environment to share with us all. Thank you so much. What a gift. You popped up in my thread this morning, its my first time seeing you. Glad I spent some time here with you, and want to send my admiration and appreciation of your journey. And thank you so much for your vulnerability and courage to share your insights and experiences. You are a beacon of light and helping many people, and the evolution of human consciousness. Thank you🙏🏽 When I watch this, I learn about what it means to be authentic.
When you began to talk about trust, the Bird of “Pray” appeared and caught your attention, a divine sign of God’s trust. The stunning and astounding nature of God where you talk and walk embraces the you of it. You are it through storm and shine. Such nature sees and trusts you. And in its peace, you see, feel, nurture and strengthen your own trust. Keep talking, walking, trusting, God. Blessings, Layne
When you mentioned you can't really describe the difficulty you've been experiencing, I really understood that. I have these times I just feel really off or bad or sick and I can't describe in what way. I just call them "hard" and therapists ask me to explain it and I can't... so I feel like they don't take me seriously.
I very much liked your walking meditation. "Be Brave." Yes! I have been sharing the Bible with children since about 2007. The first Sunday I did it was the First Sunday of Advent. The text was the Annunciation where the Angel Gabriel comes to Mary and says "Be not Afraid!" I asked the kids that morning 'what is another way of saying this? How can this be said in a positive manner?" Eventually one of the kids said "Be Brave!" It was a glorious moment.
Thank you for explaining how the PTSD affects your walking. I deal with the same issue and didn't realize it was linked to the trauma/nervous system. Wow!
It So works! Lovely being out among all those ferns with you. I find the clarity of thought and flow of words comes to me more easily with a walk in nature - and this was evident in your video too. Looking forward to more nature walks! 🌲
It’s amazing to meditate watching your videos. I going through some hard moments. Trying to get out of my depression, fix my relationship with my mom. I always learn something beautiful from your videos and from your blog. Thanks for sharing your sincere thoughts. I wish you the best, Sam.
What a wonderful video, Sam! Your truth touches others…me included. When you talked of walking, and talking being a good thing for expressing yourself-it touched my current energy. Painting has been my art for some 40 years…along with linocuts (linoleum block printing). Lately I’ve been drawing/sketching instead. I call it one-stop shopping…kinda silly but it cuts lots of preparation steps which I’m tired of. I’m just letting myself do a one, and done. And yes, I am esteeming myself as you suggested. Sam, you da goods.
Things got a little hectic and I lost touch with you for over six months. I’m now playing catch-up on your videos. The walk and talk approach worked well. I’ll comment more as I go now. Thanks for the encouragement and inspiration you give us all.
Hi Sam! I have to disagree with you. You do not look strange! You may look different than you did before transitioning, but so what? People age and our looks change. It doesn’t matter. The word of the Almighty says, “For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” Be happy Sam. ❤️
@@Call-Me-Sam exactly! I must say that when your channel first appeared as a suggestion for me to watch, it was exactly your appearance that made me want to play the video along with the title. It must have referenced God and I like to hear what others have to say in that regard. There was a moment in your video just before you talked about looking at your face where I thought you were about to cry. I hope you know that it’s ok to cry. A lot of men think it’s a weakness. It’s not. God has given us the ability to cry. There seems to be something about water with God. Israel crossing through the red sea, baptism, tears that fall in both sad and happy occasions. Cry out to God Sam if you haven’t already. I suspect you have, but crying out isn’t a one time thing where magically everything becomes perfect. Jesus tells us to come to him and he will give us rest. This coming to him is daily and if it involves crying, let the tears flow for as long as you want. There will come a point where you will feel refreshed and ready to continue your journey. Sorrow for being long winded. I just felt a need to write at 5am in my part of the world (New York). BTW, I like the GoPro on a stick. 😊
Yes, I'm ok with crying. It feels necessary , even vital to let the body do what it needs to feel emotions . Tears feel so cleaning . I'm glad the walk and talk format works, it is so much easier...... lees intense , less thought, speaking from my heart. Thank you.
Hi Sam, I was watching your videos a few days ago, and started to feel a lot of physical pain. It's a response I've never had before. I hope you can heal from your trauma. Just now I found this helpful video that describes the process people with cptsd recurrently go through. ruclips.net/video/ipJIV6hc1Ls/видео.html Perhaps it contains information you might find helpful. Your seem to be doing quite well. You're very articulate.
its 3am here in the usa. i can't sleep because i am having trouble breaking. so got online. why did youtube show me this video? i don't know but i am glad for it. i felt seen when you taliked about ptsd and abuse and this knowing that nothing good can ever happen. and that is me. and i needed to hear that. thank you. i write in a few places online but a new project is this one. i meant it to be something else, but i have long covid so i mostly complain about the illness or bring up a random topic of no interest to anyone. i recently made myself find, and write about, ten good things i found in ten consecutive days. when you are really sick, that is something that takes effort. i am glad i did that and glad to have my messy posts on this blog (and elsewhere, on various topics of importance to me) because i am alone and something in me wants to leave a bit behind in case someone wants to know who i was, later. i dunno. i look forward to watching more of your videos. and the place you are in- it is so beautiful and soothing. it translates. roxannek.substack.com/
Unless you have experienced the grief, of C/t you just can’t quite get it.
Sam, You get it! I would hear folks talk about having a job, and a relationship, and hear them say that had anxiety. The anxiety with ct is a wire that runs thru the body, it’s so intense and deep; and frightful. I could not work, socialize or remember my way home. I forgot passwords bank numbers. Names. I cried everyday for eleven years. It’s crippling, in a dysfunctional family, you can’t be sick, ever!
I got sick. No one else got help.
Sam, No one gets it. That’s ok.
Strangers pointed me in the right direction. ❤️thank s for getting it!
The walking is really mesmerising and relaxing! Such a beautiful place.
It really is much easier to walk and talk. I think I'll keep this format . Been a while, I hope you're doing well
I've been doing top down work like truthful journaling, mind to body, but also bottom up work. Grounding, calming the nervous system which then in turn quiets the mind. We are dealing with 'tension myositis/myoneural syndrome' from the trauma. Basically a stress illness caused by chronic elevated stress. In the UK the SIRPA (stress illness recovery practitioners association) organisation is set up to help, you use neuroplasticity to reset the nervous system back to a normal baseline. Youre doing the work and should be so proud of yourself. Remember God loves you. Bless you Sam.
This is really helpful, thank you. Yes, processing trauma is one thing but then rewiring our nervous system is another long process.
I shall look into SIRPA today. Thanks again.
God bless you
I was so blessed by your walk and talk video this morning. You're voice served as a reminder to stop "hiding in the apartment of my mind" but to live honestly in the moment and be willing to be visible!
I recall the verse in Genesis 16 when Hagar, the rejected servant runs away with her child Ismael into the desert. She is desperate and hopeless. Then she encounters the Lord, the one who has counted her tears and the number of hairs on her head. "You are the God who sees me and I have seen." she says as she joyfully and confidently returns.
Yes, I think God waits for us to raise our heads and look up, we meet his gaze, feel the light of Gods presence within us and truly begin to live. Thank you for sharing this .
Your videos are like a warm hug to my soul ❤
I had to look up your videos and couldn't remember your channel name exactly. Finally found it again. Your videos and channel are wonderful. Thank you for all of your time and energy you put into each one. You bless all of our lives. Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Sam! I wrote in my journal, yesterday, after being prompted: “I’m playing to no audience; I’m hiding.” And boom! Here you are. Amazing! And I, too, appreciate you talking about PTSD and the nervous system producing pain. It’s hard living with this type of pain in a world that wants to determine for us what’s “real.” The pain is very real. Thank you.💕
You're not alone in this understanding . Thank you Anni X
Well, the camera on the stick worked really well. It was like walking with you and chatting along the way. A few minutes into the video, the thought crossed my mind, "I see him.", I may have even said it out loud, to God, and then you started to talk about being seen. It felt like I had said it and had been overheard.
LORD, You have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I get up;
You understand my thought from far away.
You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, LORD, You know it all.
You have encircled me behind and in front,
And placed Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is too high, I cannot comprehend it.
Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.
If I take up the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will take hold of me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,
And the light around me will be night,”
Even darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day.
Darkness and light are alike to You.
For You created my innermost parts;
You wove me in my mother’s womb.
I will give thanks to You, because I am awesomely and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You When I was made in secret,
And skillfully formed in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my formless substance;
And in Your book were written
All the days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them. From Psalm 139
This is beautiful, thank you Guy.
Very very beautiful. Thankyou from New Zealand.
Hi! I'm new to your channel. This is the first video I came across with, but will definitely look for more. Thank you for your comforting words and powerful presence. I hear you, I see you. I also loved to read all the previous comments and see the blessings and kind thoughts from everyone. So beautiful! Warm blessings from me, too!
Thank you Olivia, I hope you find something helpful here.
You are such a beautiful man and your words are medicine for my soul. I love this format. Keep putting your essence out into the world - You've inspired me to stop being invisible! From one C-PTSD sufferer to another - onward and upward!
Wonderful, thank you Katia.
@@Call-Me-Sam I really saw you in this video. It was a flash in your eyes, I saw your true, deep, core self emerging. May God continue to bless you on your healing journey.
Thank you so much. May you too discover unforeseen blessings as you unfold
I love this setting of your video, what a healing environment to share with us all. Thank you so much. What a gift.
You popped up in my thread this morning, its my first time seeing you.
Glad I spent some time here with you, and want to send my admiration and appreciation of your journey. And thank you so much for your vulnerability and courage to share your insights and experiences. You are a beacon of light and helping many people, and the evolution of human consciousness.
Thank you🙏🏽
When I watch this, I learn about what it means to be authentic.
Welcome and thank you so much
When you began to talk about trust, the Bird of “Pray” appeared and caught your attention, a divine sign of God’s trust.
The stunning and astounding nature of God where you talk and walk embraces the you of it.
You are it through storm and shine. Such nature sees and trusts you.
And in its peace, you see, feel, nurture and strengthen your own trust.
Keep talking, walking, trusting, God.
Blessings, Layne
It's funny how often that happens, nature responding to our presence ... so clearly, the conversation.
Thank you Layne for these lovely words
Loving the forest meandering❤
Great to hear that you have some K9 buddies to take on walks 🐕
Bliss
When you mentioned you can't really describe the difficulty you've been experiencing, I really understood that. I have these times I just feel really off or bad or sick and I can't describe in what way. I just call them "hard" and therapists ask me to explain it and I can't... so I feel like they don't take me seriously.
I very much liked your walking meditation. "Be Brave." Yes! I have been sharing the Bible with children since about 2007. The first Sunday I did it was the First Sunday of Advent. The text was the Annunciation where the Angel Gabriel comes to Mary and says "Be not Afraid!" I asked the kids that morning 'what is another way of saying this? How can this be said in a positive manner?" Eventually one of the kids said "Be Brave!" It was a glorious moment.
Thank you Phillip. What a lovely moment you shared. Out of the mouths of babes !
Please think twice before filling the head’s of children with ancient superstition. It’s psychologically damaging.
Thank you for explaining how the PTSD affects your walking. I deal with the same issue and didn't realize it was linked to the trauma/nervous system. Wow!
Mind and body are so interrelated. Be gentle and patient with yourself and gradually change will come. Thank you for your comment.
It So works! Lovely being out among all those ferns with you. I find the clarity of thought and flow of words comes to me more easily with a walk in nature - and this was evident in your video too. Looking forward to more nature walks! 🌲
Thank you
You Are Loved ❤
Thank you for sharing !! I think it is good that you walk & talk!! I go through something different & I do write down my thoughts to try & cope
Thank you Portia. I did enjoy this and it was so much easier to flow so I'll do more of these walk and talks. Well done !, writing definitely helps.
Yes ,walk and talk works well, it flows better I think, love the ferns.
It’s amazing to meditate watching your videos. I going through some hard moments. Trying to get out of my depression, fix my relationship with my mom. I always learn something beautiful from your videos and from your blog. Thanks for sharing your sincere thoughts. I wish you the best, Sam.
Thank you Roberta . May you and your mother find forgiveness and love.
The area looks cool and peaceful...everyday bliss thats nature
True words indeed
What a wonderful video, Sam! Your truth touches others…me included. When you talked of walking, and talking being a good thing for expressing yourself-it touched my current energy. Painting has been my art for some 40 years…along with linocuts (linoleum block printing). Lately I’ve been drawing/sketching instead. I call it one-stop shopping…kinda silly but it cuts lots of preparation steps which I’m tired of. I’m just letting myself do a one, and done. And yes, I am esteeming myself as you suggested. Sam, you da goods.
YES ! esteem yourself, you artist. As ever , thank you Carol for your kind words of support.
Things got a little hectic and I lost touch with you for over six months. I’m now playing catch-up on your videos. The walk and talk approach worked well. I’ll comment more as I go now. Thanks for the encouragement and inspiration you give us all.
Hello stranger. good to see you back. Thanks for your encouragement too.
❤
Hey, you're in my thoughts. I know that grief can seem endless but with each painful tear, it will pass. X
❤❤❤❤❤
Thankyou so much 💓
Thanks Karen.
Sam, have you been on any medication from the doctors such as anti depressants etc. And did it help?
No I haven't . For years I self medicated and looking back I can see that this actually did get me through a lot. Not that recommend it.
@@Call-Me-Sam Alcohol and marijuana ?
Hi Sam! I have to disagree with you. You do not look strange! You may look different than you did before transitioning, but so what? People age and our looks change. It doesn’t matter. The word of the Almighty says, “For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” Be happy Sam. ❤️
Thank you Terry, yes, I think the heart is where the healing happens. Opening to love and from there connection begins.
@@Call-Me-Sam exactly! I must say that when your channel first appeared as a suggestion for me to watch, it was exactly your appearance that made me want to play the video along with the title. It must have referenced God and I like to hear what others have to say in that regard. There was a moment in your video just before you talked about looking at your face where I thought you were about to cry. I hope you know that it’s ok to cry. A lot of men think it’s a weakness. It’s not. God has given us the ability to cry. There seems to be something about water with God. Israel crossing through the red sea, baptism, tears that fall in both sad and happy occasions. Cry out to God Sam if you haven’t already. I suspect you have, but crying out isn’t a one time thing where magically everything becomes perfect. Jesus tells us to come to him and he will give us rest. This coming to him is daily and if it involves crying, let the tears flow for as long as you want. There will come a point where you will feel refreshed and ready to continue your journey. Sorrow for being long winded. I just felt a need to write at 5am in my part of the world (New York). BTW, I like the GoPro on a stick. 😊
Yes, I'm ok with crying. It feels necessary , even vital to let the body do what it needs to feel emotions . Tears feel so cleaning . I'm glad the walk and talk format works, it is so much easier...... lees intense , less thought, speaking from my heart. Thank you.
Hi Sam, I was watching your videos a few days ago, and started to feel a lot of physical pain. It's a response I've never had before. I hope you can heal from your trauma. Just now I found this helpful video that describes the process people with cptsd recurrently go through. ruclips.net/video/ipJIV6hc1Ls/видео.html Perhaps it contains information you might find helpful. Your seem to be doing quite well. You're very articulate.
Thank you.
@@Call-Me-Sam thinking of you. Take good care.
its 3am here in the usa. i can't sleep because i am having trouble breaking. so got online. why did youtube show me this video? i don't know but i am glad for it. i felt seen when you taliked about ptsd and abuse and this knowing that nothing good can ever happen. and that is me. and i needed to hear that. thank you. i write in a few places online but a new project is this one. i meant it to be something else, but i have long covid so i mostly complain about the illness or bring up a random topic of no interest to anyone. i recently made myself find, and write about, ten good things i found in ten consecutive days. when you are really sick, that is something that takes effort. i am glad i did that and glad to have my messy posts on this blog (and elsewhere, on various topics of importance to me) because i am alone and something in me wants to leave a bit behind in case someone wants to know who i was, later. i dunno. i look forward to watching more of your videos. and the place you are in- it is so beautiful and soothing. it translates. roxannek.substack.com/
I SEE YOU ! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I wish you well in your own healing.
❤🩹❤🩹❤🩹