the equal dividing thing is mostly a good thing, avoiding "les comptes d'apothicaire" as we say in France and stupid problems over who paid for what (the shared bottle for exemple). But if there is a big difference in income and thus in what people choose the sensible attitude is to make accomodation for those who can't afford that bill. If you encounter people who insist to share equally in such a situation forget them, if they can't understand they don't deserve to be your friend.
Totally agree. I wasn't super comfortable when I was younger talking about my finances at dinner with people I don't know. I wouldn't hesitate to say it now. It's amazing the confidence you get as you get older and the "i really don't care what you think" attitude. I'm still a big people pleaser, but i have a lot more limits than before!
I lived for a few years in a country where sharing the bill equally is also a habit. I never got used to it...paying for other people's consumption really pissed me off. And, let's be honest, the income issue never comes up. You are considered stingy if you say your share was much less...this situation is super awkward. Overall this habit makes people end up with people in the same economic class. I'm from Canada and there the server makes a bill for each person in a group of friends. This is no big deal. In other countries it seems super confusing in their head.
@@lauraa857 well that is true to an extend that makes people end up with those in the same economic class . But when I was younger I did renounce passing times with a bunch of friends cause I couldn't afford to go in the place they were going, or not as often. So it's already mostly the case and the equal charing doesn't change much in that regard. And it has some advantages as I said the equal sharing make people caring less about who paid what creating less conlict.
there's a short scene from humor: Muriel Robin. at the restaurant six guests share a table but take different dishes and drinks. to pay the bill she suggests dividing it by six. but everyone wants to pay the value of the dishes and drinks which puts the Zizanie at the end of the meal
Interesting! As a latina living in Paris I can say that those "French" habits are a lot more global. They're also very common in Latin America! And actually a lot of "French" things are also Latin American things which probably we should be calling Latin culture things or customs :)
What a great video! As an American, I would say that splitting the check evenly and eating as a family are definitely things that happen due to getting older and raising a family. In my early 20's I was on a very tight budget and watched every penny I spent. I also ate on the go a lot and grabbed fast food or whatever was available. Now that I'm in my thirties with two young children, I really appreciate sitting down as a family and eating a healthy meal. Also, since I'm not on such a tight budget anymore, I really don't mind splitting the check whichever way, or even paying for the bill entirely if it's not too much. Thanks for sharing your insights! I truly appreciate seeing your point of view!
Strange, I'm in NYC and I've never encountered the server asking if my group would like separate checks. I'll look out for this...(watch, it'll start happening 😆)
I'm Austrian and a lot of what you said is the same here as it is in France apparently (Very interesting to hear what you picked up as those are habits so natural to me that I never thought much about them) so I would say you're getting more and more European 😉😊 Ad splitting the bill 50/50 - that's not common here - I'm almost 30 now and been working for years so my budget is more laid back now and I still don't agree with splitting 50/50...as you said it's not fair. Find it very interesting you picked it up. Family meals...I think it's more an European cultural thing once again more than you guys having a daughter now. I know next to no family not eating together. This was a super interesting video, thanks for sharing ❤️
Loved this one! Would be so fun to hear what habits your husband picked up from you🙃 (even if he's not in the video if he's not comfortable with that❤️)
I wish i could get him in a video Mara. He is really anti camera, but maybe one day! And GREAT idea for a film! Just wrote it down on my video idea list :)
The eating together is such a huge thing for my French boyfriend…. He gets so irritated if we don’t. If I’m not hungry then he wants me to sit down with him while he eats
Paying only what you ordered is completely fine in France (In Paris or Province). When we were broke students we never splitted the bill but you have to ask for it to the waiter. But then its true that its common habit to split, as the goal of going out is as well to share and not care about a few euros diffence. But usually if someone orders an expensive thing it pays for it
Family meals are very important because it a time to share things and it strengthens family ties, especially between parents and children. But concerning the bise, I really hate this habit for I really don't like having to do it with people that I hardly know or with whom I don't have any feeling.
I've really officially gone to the dark side because i miss the bise. I miss showing people that i do care about a bit of affection and i can't imagine hugging french people out of nowhere hahaha :)
I do it both ways in the US too. Often when I'm with close friends that have similar financial situations, we'll just throw our cards in and split it evenly. But if I'm with a group of people who don't know each other as well or when there's a larger discrepancy of what people ordered, we'll split it based on what each person ordered.
I agree that there is a lack of flexibility in terms of meals in France. I'm in my mid-20s and moved back home in France for a bit over a year due to Covid after having lived on my own for four years, and it drove me NUTS, for a year I felt like I had no agency over what or when I ate!! I now live and work in the US, and I have finally regained that freedom haha, and my French dad was shocked to find out that I eat in my room and not with my roommates most of the time. It will be nice to eat family meals when I go back home, though!
Was so fun to watch! I’m moving to France next month for my masters and I’ve been watching your videos for years! 😊 Would love if you made a video about how you acquired French Nationality!
You can apply for French citizenship after living (and working?) in France for 5 years (3 or 4 years if you're married). Kate checks both those boxes. Not sure if PACS qualifies the same as marriage though, would love to know that... @Kate?
You’re experiencing joy delivered by the habit of lunch together and I am experiencing the sadness of losing it because my children are adults and have student or professional activities that makes it difficult to organize. Be prepared for the years 2040 when sundays will remain the only family lunch of the week.
So as a broke student (with friends who are working professionals) I'm still not fully sold on the common bill....but it has forced me to be more transparent about my finances and I've noticed that my close French friends now naturally offer to split the bill by what we each ate. Now that I feel like they are aware enough to pay more if they order more (ex: if they have a big bottle of wine but I'm not drinking) it's easier to just relax and enjoy the meal and their company. I also really am starting to love "la bise" now after four years of living with French people.
I don't miss "la bise" one bit. In Belgium it was only 1 instead of 2+ like in France. Totally fine with "la bise" when I knew people well but never got used to it when I first met someone new. Just moved to Québec City last month. It is North America where they happen to speak French. La bise is gone (apparently pre covid only with close friends). The waiters automatically brought us separate checks at dinner last night, water is free again (bottled only in BE), tax is no longer included in the price and I have to remember to tip. At restaurants with groups of friends in BE we would split it mostly equally but people would chip in more if they got something expensive. Or if it was 2 couples sometimes one would take the whole check and the other would get the whole check next time.
hi kate, i haven't ever seen this spliting of the bill equally in Paris in the US always. We actually had a restaurent in Paris and there might be a celebration of sorts and at the end of the meal each person would only pay for what they ate, if someone ordered a bottle of wine they would say to put that on their bill. Even when there was a partly of 15 people they would line up and pay for what they ate or drank, usually these were people between 25-35. Tables of 4-6 of an older group then the bill might be asked to split it according to the couples at the table.That just my experience and i have not been here as long as you. enjoyed your take on new french habits you have picked up,
Most of the time we avoid to have a huge difference of price between people, but if it's the case, the polite way to do for the one that ordered something expansive is to pay something for everyone right after, or the next time, like the uber or the first round at the pub, etc ^^
i used to eat the French way. i indoctrinated my kids to eat that way for 12 years ( they eat anything, like a French kid does) then high school happened, and we are 25 years later, i now eat like a west coast ( a lot of vegan, nutritious stuff) American. RUclips is on! eeeeeesh. i am watching you as i am eating a banana with peanut butter on it with 1 tbs of wine and i will finish it with an espresso from our Lelit machine. i got fed up of fighting the phones at the table. America won. hihi my husband has his own schedule when to eat and diet of what to eat. He eats standing in the middle of the kitchen. eeeeesh
As a Canadian, I would not be into splitting the bill at all unless it's family. You might be ordering a salad and glass of wine or have diet restrictions while the other person orders multiple drinks, a full meal and desert.
In the Arab world, who ever invites, pays! I find sharing the payment ain’t fair. 1 of the habits I picked up from living in the states, is awkward having so much ICE in my cold drinks. Wishing u all, happy holidays. Love.
@@UnintentionallyFrenchified I spent a good chunk of childhood in England and quickly adjusted to the no ice thing in Europe. I got so used to it that I still frequently ask for no ice when I’m at a restaurant in the States. My American friends definitely think I’m weird the first few times they see me ask for water that way, but most of them are used to it by now.
I advice you a very funny sketch of Murièle Robin called L'addition ! It's a bit old but it's very funny because it shows what can occur in restaurants in France! It's now a classic, it's the sketch that launched Muriel Robin's career, and it Illustrates exactly what you just explained! Enjoy your watch! Enjoy to watch you!
Even if I'm french, I hate that splitting bill at the restaurant ! I was used to tzke few food while my colleagues, knowing we will share, choose wine and expensive meal :( Very hard to argue at that time !
I would NOT like having to split the bill. If I'm ordering something for $10.00 & then have to pay $50.00 and subsidize someone else's meal. Especially if they had a couple of glasses of wine and dessert etc.
If someone in the party orders something expensive it's not sensible to split the bill. I'm French and when I go to the restaurant with friends, generally we just pay what we ate.
My experience is that it happens a lot that in France to just split the bill down the middle. However, if you didn't eat anything and just took a drink, and everyone else ate, that would be different. But if everyone is eating and drinking something, i rarely see people ask to split it person by person.
About the "eating together" importance : it is not rare that french parents who have young children have a first "dinner" with their children, let's say around 7 pm, cooking and helping them to eat, staying with them at the table and noisily chatting about their day, and THEN, once the children are in bed, let's say at 9 pm, have their own cooking together, and have calm dinner by themselves. Here you can see the "eating together" thing, and the care for the quality of the relationship and interaction around a table. First we chill with the children, and then we chill together, We are miles away from the equation "eating = putting food into your mouth in order to prevent hunger".
1. I often dine with a monied friend. He has learned to offer to pay for the wine every time because I can drink any plonk but he claims that he can't. (And he doesn't seem to be able to drink just water -- he is Belgian.) 2. I am only a social coffee drinker, too, and I love it. But I absolutely never drink coffee alone. 3. Being half French, I have always loved coffee (or hot chocolate) bowls. I really hate mugs. I know it is just a cultural thing. 4. I have really missed la bise and have always felt totally violated by hugs. I do not want my body pressed up against a lot of people. Yuck. 5. I cannot stand not eating with somebody in an established a meal routine. I don't mind going hungry for 3 hours if I have to wait. My family always ate together, and I feel that anybody living at the same address should do their best to do the same. It is an important social moment, much more important than what you actually eat.
I’ll split the bill with the number of people there., but if someone orders big, I’ll simply say to them that they can kick in an extra $50 or $100. They get pissed off. I don’t care. They don’t come again and they’re not missed because they’re just greedy users anyway. My ex-wife was embarrassed but glad I did it because we weren’t that well off that we could support freeloaders. Some will seethe in silence, but those opportunists are too insensitive to register the general disapproval. Most guys agree with me, but the women think I’ve done something terrible. But when they think about it enough, they used to quite like coming out with us.
My husband would agree with you John. That in every single situation where i felt uncomfortable, i should have said something instead of being frustrated and struggling with balancing a social moment and being budget friendly. But i was too uncomfortable around people i didn't know. I think 11 years later, i wouldn't do it the same way, but i was a lot less confident and worried about upsetting people then!
Hi 👋 it’s a great video! Thanks so much for sharing, Would you like to take a Covid interview? My name is Xin a 17 years old working on 233 interviews of Covid aim to record true stories under the Covid pandemic. I am looking for interviewees from France, do you willing to share your stories and experience during the Covid in France? This is very meaningfully to me, please let me know if you are interested Thank u
Bonjour à mon américaine préférée, I don't really understand what about you say upon my culture. It's good exercise of understanding. What that's mean "spit on the bill"? Cracher sur l' addition ? If you are talking who paid the bill after a restaurant meal, it is alway a big deal. Sharing the money? Or each one pay is own menu? ( greedy, I'd like) or someone insist, "let me pay, that's make me pleasure!" and with some hypocrisy "no, no, I do." and at the end "ok, pay". I am always a little bit ashamed. Or if it's mean a " tips?" money you give to the garçon. I 'v did alway, concering their hard job and friendly. I don't know if it's belong to the french culture. I know in Germany people do it.. (my wife is German ". I didn't know about this coffee ceremony. I' have supposed that's belongs much more to the Italian than the french. They have very good coffee and it is a pleasure to drink one of these ristreto somewhere in a beautifuls Italians cities. In France, we call it "petit noir" but it's look like old speaking, I don't use it. Now people buy their own expensive percolator. It's much more ecological than these aluminum capsules. But I prefer much more going to a bar, listen the vapors of the percolator, the conversations of the consumers, the one alone with a little cup of coffee who is reading a newspaper, workers laughing or talking about the last soccer game, bises with women, I like this typical french atmosphere, indeed it's in this current life poetry I like my country. I didn't understand abound bowl. Do you mean about cereal bowl at the breakfast? Muesli come of Switzerland, by the way the country where came my mother of the Graubunden... Davos. The German breakfast is very generous, and it's delightful! The English breakfast propose beans with sausages... Beuh. But from far I prefer the French breakfast, black coffee, orange juice with a croissant.... Slowly, just with this kind of little pleasure of a day. Unfortunately I don't have no more family. Just my "liebe Frau" and kids But I know that the french like to eat on Sunday with all family. I find that nice, as you say, these kind of meal can during, a full afternoon talking, laughing, exchanging. I do like it. And it is this strange thing call : " cousinade". The french family meeting with the whole family, cousins, uncle, grandfather, grandgrand mother.. Ect. This can during two or three days, eating and drinking... I have never been in a cousinade, it's my own ethnographic observation. About the kissing, the famous bisou. I 'm uncomfortable with these demonstratives americans embraces as do you describe. The German do the same, even with unknown people. I feel ashamed, i don't know why really. It's to much, and for me belong for my woman and kids. I was in Freiburg, in Germany. There's a lot of esoteric, mystical people, association, school. I don't like this very much. I m too Cartesian. So I have worked in a little company, who's name was "Liebe in Aktion, love in action". I don't know what i have to do until now, but people embrace each other like we are the best friends, bodies again bodies , saying I'm so happy to see you and blabla, it's looking like so hypocrisy, so intimate, I hate that, I support it but I hate. Better two, or three, four bises, smack, smack, quick, with the women even if i don't like really that. I'am confortables with olds friends, women or men. Other wise shaking hands it's the better, a little bit macho.. But it is good sometimes to feel man. So unintentionally frenchified, i don't know the part who is coming from my character and who is coming from my culture,... French culture existing, also with differents cultures.. Your American, German, Swiss, Russian, spaniard, Portuguese, or Asia, African.... I like it. So have nice Sunday for you and family. Embrace? No: two kisses, bisous, bisous.. By, au revoir.
When we go to restaurant with my friends we just pay for what we ate. As a french person I wasn't aware that this "dividing equally" habit existed... We learn everyday ^^
hahha maybe it's just the people I hang out with! You're not the first to say that so i wonder if it's more about the crowd of friends I have versus a french and american thing?
We usually divide by the number of person to make it easier when we all ordered about the same things. Like we won’t be nitpicking on a couple euros difference between two meals or two drinks - BUT if one get too fancy when I kept it cheap, I'm definitely only paying for what I got :)
This habit exist but it is often established by people who order the most expensive things. Or eventually when everybody is doing well in life. If people put that shit on you while you are just a student or struggle in life it is pure disrespect or lack of empathy....
Hello. Yes, that's the same to me. I know, and we sometimes do, that people can share 50/50 the bill. But usually we pay for what we eat. More or less. When we eat with very good friends or people we know, it's a "deal", as we know that we will eat approximately the same quantity. But of course, and especially as we were students or with unknown people, of course we share regarding what we ate. If someone buy caviar and champagne and the other one just a boiled egg with mayonnaise, of course it's completely different 😜
Living in Tbilisi Georgia. Not getting hung up about arriving on time. I realize that when we (Americans) say I'll be there at 3PM (15 : 00) we mean by three PM , Georgians tend to mean not before three PM. So I just rock with that. I enjoy scouring the city for foods that are hard to find. But I don't sweat it if I don't (Other ex-pats here really seem to get finicky about that one hyper American special item they are missing.) Personal space. I've learned to live without it. We don't split the bills at all here. One person pays this time. Fortunately the prices won't break the bank. The general rule if you invite someone to lunch you pay. That was very weird to me. But now I don't mind at all.
Personal space is a really good one!! I haven't gotten completely used to that yet. I really get bothered when there is a lot of room in the metro and someone sits right next to me. I'm like ummmm, seriously? Personal space. I hope that comes sometimes!
Not sure if this is just a French thing to eat together. Growing up in the US we always always ate together as a family. Every meal (lunch excluded during school, but yes even lunch on the weekends) was a sit down as a family. And my husband and I do this now with our young kids. And I remember many of my friends growing up similarly. I know my cousins (I have over 30 first cousins) all pretty much ate all meals together with family as well.
I was expecting you to talk about the habit of not eating between meals LOL I think that’s the biggest one. About the bowl, unless things have changed, the only time people drank hot drinks out of a bowl (and it was a special shape & size bowl) was at breakfast. Obviously coffee after breakfast is in a demitasse. I think the habit at breakfast was because they always dunk their tartine in the hot drink, something I just can’t do. I don’t like my buttered baguette or even just my croissant in hot coffee (and leaving crumbs in my bowl). Re splitting the bill: I found that interesting. I lived in CT where we always just split the bill down the middle. When I moved to Maine, no one split the bill. Everyone pays their own. At first I thought it was really cheesy but after a while, I got use to it and I kind of like it now because if someone is a drinker or as you say ordering several courses etc while you’re just having soup, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t breed resentment. But I wonder if it’s just the custom of certain pockets of the country and/or certain segments of society.
hahahha to each his own. I'm starting to LOVE it! Though i really hate not knowing how many i'm supposed to do and also which side to go to. That's always so awkward when we go for the same side.
@@UnintentionallyFrenchified Funny ! Remember, in France, the richer people are, the less they do la bise (just one) :-) Usually , this is 2 bises - When you face someone, you have to propose your right cheek at first. Enjoy !
I worked at a remote research station off and on for several years, and we always took meals together, because we had set mealtimes when the cooks would put the food out. When I would come back to the U.S. I would really miss those very social meals that would often run way longer than the food lasted. My wife grew up in the Midwest where (at least in her family) daily meals were something to eat and be done with, as something of an interruption that needed to be minimized--especially lunch. So now at home we generally have a hybrid approach where we have family sit-downs for the weekend meals but during the week it's more of the "get it over with" approach. Which absolutely kills me. After those meals I wind up chilling at the table by myself having a slow dessert while everyone else has gone off to do other things. (My dog is usually there hoping for a tidbit but alas he has trouble holding up his end of a conversation.)
I don't get it about the coffee thing. Do you even like the taste of coffee or not ? You sound like you hate coffee in the first place but you've forced yourself to like it for social purposes.
1) I'm French and I don't like coffee. 2) What kind of Christmas do you prefer ? In France with your husband's family or in US with your husband in your family ?
Good question! I prefer the christmas spirit in the US because I like how decorated people go and how over the top it is. But when it comes to actually spending christmas day in one country or another, i'm good either way. I'm super lucky to love my husband's family and i feel really welcome there and of course being with own family is so nice!
About the restaurant bill, we don’t share evenly all the time, it depends on the context and who you’re eating with. Watch Muriel Robin’s sketch called “L’addition”, it’s really funny 😆
I’ve been here for over a year and I still can’t get used to la bise. Maybe because I arrived during Covid but it seems like something I’ll never get used to. I’m hoping I’ll one day be like you and not feel awkward.
It took me 11 years! Hahaha, so that one did not come naturally. And a lot of comments people are saying they still hate it so maybe it will never be something you love. But with covid, it's not happening a lot right now!
So funny to see the differences! Pre-c*v!d in NYC, restaurants only gave the option of splitting the bill evenly- now they are more flexible. When we were pinching pennies it always stressed me out, but now that we are older and more financially comfortable it doesn't! And our family always grew up super intentional about meals around the table and we have SO many memories around the table together. I really hope to continue that as my little family grows up too! I LOVE that tradition.
I am an American who lived in Copenhagen, Denmark. Danes often use the expression, “tak for sidste,” which literally means “thanks for last.” Contextually it’s what you say when you see the person who last hosted a party/dinner or any other event you attended. I still find myself telling other Americans, “thanks for last time.” They look at me strangely sometimes.
I do love meal time. When I lived in the states, I worked full time in a stressful job-I was a high school nurse with 1800 students. Now that I live in France and no longer work full time, I love to plan and cook meals. I cook Monday-Friday and my husband cooks on the weekends. As far as La Bise, i did miss it during lockdown, but I am hesitant to do now because contact with people kinda freaks me out!
I don't think la bise is the best idea right now either so way to stay cautious! And glad to hear that meal time has changed for the better for you too!
I'm French/Swedish, and my husband is American. We live in France, and just watching your video made me realize that after 7 years of mariage, yeah we don't always eat together, in the way round, I picked up the American habit while it was not possible to imagine having a lunch by myself, now we have a natural middle of the road solution. But my husband is still not a big fan of the dinner parties, he sees it as boring if it lasts more than 20 minutes. I find the French way friendlier but the American way gives your more freedom.
I have to say, I have the exact opposite experience regarding splitting the bill. In the U.S. I would be much more likely to just split the bill evenly with my friends, because not all places will itemize it for you and it's considered extra work for the server. In France I have literally never just split the bill evenly - the server just brings the machine over to the table and we pay one by one, or when we're done we get up to leave and pay individually at the counter. This could also be a function of the type of friendships I have in each country though, and the fact that my time is split much more heavily toward the U.S. right now. Regarding the family meals, I think that might be a function of your personal upbringing, because I grew up with important family meals in the U.S. We always ate dinner together, always.
Exact same experience as you for splitting bills! In France, with friends we each paid for what we ate, and now I live in NYC where servers need to take our cards away from the table, and obviously can't remember which amount to put on which card, so they just split it equally - which is challenging when you are living on a budget in NYC and always order the cheapest thing on the menu
@@scb25 usually they will bring separate bills for everyone and in different bill pouches so each pouch will have the bill and the card associated to it. Not sure why that would be "hard" for a server to know the exacta amount to charge per bill.
I don’t know I’m in USA and we always split the bill at a restaurant never heard of paying for your own also we eat dinner everyday together as a family even if that means 9pm. We cook at home bring leftovers for lunch. Maybe just your family.
Splitting the bill isnt a standard. I was born in Paris but i live in the suburb, if yoj just wanna pay your share, say it. Most of the time, people are gonna exhale, but substract your amount and end up dividing the resulting amount. Dont be shy about your finances
Hello miss, moi je suis français, mais je ne fais pas la bise, je trouve cette habitude stupide. Elle est apparue à la fin des années 1970, c'est les filles de petite vertu qui ont commencé à faire ça et ensuite les homosexuels, je refuse de pratiquer leur habitudes idiotes, d'autant plus que le fait de faire un bisou sur la joue d'une fille a une importance pour moi, ça signifie quelque chose.
You slayed me on, "you've crossed into the dark side". Bowls....must be a French peasant habit brought forward. I spent 4 years in Sicily. Huge coffee culture there similar to France. They were also tea drinkers but used large latte style mugs for it.
Splitting the bill evenly is unfair for those who don't drink alcohol - unless your dinner companions accommodate for it - just saying... :) I've actually seen more even splitting in the US than in France, where people tend to pay for what they ate. PS - I'm French but I've never done the bowl thing - in a way I find it disgusting for some reason, LOL - but then that's probably because my dad is Italian, so it's always been coffee cups for me :)
I can only congratulate you for your getting used to the "bise"... it is the one I am most impressed with from your list. I would guess getting used to it is similar to getting use to hugging for French, and I have lived in US, then UK for 20 years and still cannot get used to hugging. Except for core family as well as kids for which there is hugging in France [so that feels natural], it's just (still) too intimate for me to have so much body contact... It can occasionally happen (I am not always given a choice), but I remain inconfortable with it. Maybe to some extent because something that is never done with family for me (mine is French - no hug - my wife's is from Asia - no hug, no bise...) nor with a significant portion of our friends.
When you're older and more financially stable, you can afford to pay for others. Another really interesting video that I so agree with. Great job Kate!
we absolutely will eat different things here in France with my husband, but sit together. You don't ever do that when you don't want to eat the same thing? Or do you mean when i lived in the states and i didnt eat at the same time as the rest of my family?
@@UnintentionallyFrenchified Oh to me it's both but even more so the "not the same meal". Might as well eat outside then :-). feels like a waste of energy to fix two different things for the same table...at home. But in all fairness, I'm the weird one in my entourage so... :-). Great video btw
I like splitting the bill equally. Usually when you are with friends. And the untold rule is to more or less order in the same price range and to to align to the lesser. If one is the only one to order an « aperitif » or a starter, or an expensive dish, it’s considered weird. I have lived in Asia and now in Luxembourg and there the rule is to pay for everything. Some German people told me, no we don’t split here, like I was a petty person. I hate the game when one leaves discretely the table and pays for everything. You have to keep records in your head to pay the full bill the next time. if ever you win the next game. So I clearly state at the time of the invitation that this time is my turn.
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the equal dividing thing is mostly a good thing, avoiding "les comptes d'apothicaire" as we say in France and stupid problems over who paid for what (the shared bottle for exemple). But if there is a big difference in income and thus in what people choose the sensible attitude is to make accomodation for those who can't afford that bill. If you encounter people who insist to share equally in such a situation forget them, if they can't understand they don't deserve to be your friend.
Totally agree. I wasn't super comfortable when I was younger talking about my finances at dinner with people I don't know. I wouldn't hesitate to say it now. It's amazing the confidence you get as you get older and the "i really don't care what you think" attitude. I'm still a big people pleaser, but i have a lot more limits than before!
I lived for a few years in a country where sharing the bill equally is also a habit. I never got used to it...paying for other people's consumption really pissed me off. And, let's be honest, the income issue never comes up. You are considered stingy if you say your share was much less...this situation is super awkward. Overall this habit makes people end up with people in the same economic class. I'm from Canada and there the server makes a bill for each person in a group of friends. This is no big deal. In other countries it seems super confusing in their head.
@@lauraa857 well that is true to an extend that makes people end up with those in the same economic class . But when I was younger I did renounce passing times with a bunch of friends cause I couldn't afford to go in the place they were going, or not as often. So it's already mostly the case and the equal charing doesn't change much in that regard.
And it has some advantages as I said the equal sharing make people caring less about who paid what creating less conlict.
there's a short scene from humor: Muriel Robin. at the restaurant six guests share a table but take different dishes and drinks. to pay the bill she suggests dividing it by six. but everyone wants to pay the value of the dishes and drinks which puts the Zizanie at the end of the meal
@@ybreton6593 Muriel Robin, l'addition : ruclips.net/video/e-MBjjlt9g4/видео.html back in time of the francs.
Interesting! As a latina living in Paris I can say that those "French" habits are a lot more global. They're also very common in Latin America! And actually a lot of "French" things are also Latin American things which probably we should be calling Latin culture things or customs :)
If you feel comfortable, where are you from?
What a great video! As an American, I would say that splitting the check evenly and eating as a family are definitely things that happen due to getting older and raising a family. In my early 20's I was on a very tight budget and watched every penny I spent. I also ate on the go a lot and grabbed fast food or whatever was available. Now that I'm in my thirties with two young children, I really appreciate sitting down as a family and eating a healthy meal. Also, since I'm not on such a tight budget anymore, I really don't mind splitting the check whichever way, or even paying for the bill entirely if it's not too much. Thanks for sharing your insights! I truly appreciate seeing your point of view!
7:19: "Coffee is proposed to you..." I would say that use of "proposed" is number 12 on this list! 😄
It's such a terrible french word i throw in there when i shouldn't!
Lol. Came to the comments for this. Next you’ll be saying “I’m in France since ten years” 😛
@@davidsmith3263 😂😂😂
Strange, I'm in NYC and I've never encountered the server asking if my group would like separate checks. I'll look out for this...(watch, it'll start happening 😆)
Love this video. I just moved to Nice after wanting to for 20 years. Thank you!!!!
I'm Austrian and a lot of what you said is the same here as it is in France apparently (Very interesting to hear what you picked up as those are habits so natural to me that I never thought much about them) so I would say you're getting more and more European 😉😊
Ad splitting the bill 50/50 - that's not common here - I'm almost 30 now and been working for years so my budget is more laid back now and I still don't agree with splitting 50/50...as you said it's not fair. Find it very interesting you picked it up.
Family meals...I think it's more an European cultural thing once again more than you guys having a daughter now. I know next to no family not eating together.
This was a super interesting video, thanks for sharing ❤️
Loved this one! Would be so fun to hear what habits your husband picked up from you🙃 (even if he's not in the video if he's not comfortable with that❤️)
I wish i could get him in a video Mara. He is really anti camera, but maybe one day! And GREAT idea for a film! Just wrote it down on my video idea list :)
The eating together is such a huge thing for my French boyfriend…. He gets so irritated if we don’t. If I’m not hungry then he wants me to sit down with him while he eats
Paying only what you ordered is completely fine in France (In Paris or Province). When we were broke students we never splitted the bill but you have to ask for it to the waiter.
But then its true that its common habit to split, as the goal of going out is as well to share and not care about a few euros diffence. But usually if someone orders an expensive thing it pays for it
Family meals are very important because it a time to share things and it strengthens family ties, especially between parents and children. But concerning the bise, I really hate this habit for I really don't like having to do it with people that I hardly know or with whom I don't have any feeling.
I've really officially gone to the dark side because i miss the bise. I miss showing people that i do care about a bit of affection and i can't imagine hugging french people out of nowhere hahaha :)
I do it both ways in the US too. Often when I'm with close friends that have similar financial situations, we'll just throw our cards in and split it evenly. But if I'm with a group of people who don't know each other as well or when there's a larger discrepancy of what people ordered, we'll split it based on what each person ordered.
I agree that there is a lack of flexibility in terms of meals in France. I'm in my mid-20s and moved back home in France for a bit over a year due to Covid after having lived on my own for four years, and it drove me NUTS, for a year I felt like I had no agency over what or when I ate!! I now live and work in the US, and I have finally regained that freedom haha, and my French dad was shocked to find out that I eat in my room and not with my roommates most of the time. It will be nice to eat family meals when I go back home, though!
Was so fun to watch! I’m moving to France next month for my masters and I’ve been watching your videos for years! 😊 Would love if you made a video about how you acquired French Nationality!
You can apply for French citizenship after living (and working?) in France for 5 years (3 or 4 years if you're married). Kate checks both those boxes. Not sure if PACS qualifies the same as marriage though, would love to know that... @Kate?
You’re experiencing joy delivered by the habit of lunch together and I am experiencing the sadness of losing it because my children are adults and have student or professional activities that makes it difficult to organize. Be prepared for the years 2040 when sundays will remain the only family lunch of the week.
So as a broke student (with friends who are working professionals) I'm still not fully sold on the common bill....but it has forced me to be more transparent about my finances and I've noticed that my close French friends now naturally offer to split the bill by what we each ate. Now that I feel like they are aware enough to pay more if they order more (ex: if they have a big bottle of wine but I'm not drinking) it's easier to just relax and enjoy the meal and their company. I also really am starting to love "la bise" now after four years of living with French people.
I don't miss "la bise" one bit. In Belgium it was only 1 instead of 2+ like in France. Totally fine with "la bise" when I knew people well but never got used to it when I first met someone new. Just moved to Québec City last month. It is North America where they happen to speak French. La bise is gone (apparently pre covid only with close friends). The waiters automatically brought us separate checks at dinner last night, water is free again (bottled only in BE), tax is no longer included in the price and I have to remember to tip. At restaurants with groups of friends in BE we would split it mostly equally but people would chip in more if they got something expensive. Or if it was 2 couples sometimes one would take the whole check and the other would get the whole check next time.
hi kate, i haven't ever seen this spliting of the bill equally in Paris in the US always. We actually had a restaurent in Paris and there might be a celebration of sorts and at the end of the meal each person would only pay for what they ate, if someone ordered a bottle of wine they would say to put that on their bill. Even when there was a partly of 15 people they would line up and pay for what they ate or drank, usually these were people between 25-35. Tables of 4-6 of an older group then the bill might be asked to split it according to the couples at the table.That just my experience and i have not been here as long as you. enjoyed your take on new french habits you have picked up,
In my part of France, we Pay together but not separate
La bise me manque ! merci pour la vidéo.
Moi aussssssiiii!!!!
Most of the time we avoid to have a huge difference of price between people, but if it's the case, the polite way to do for the one that ordered something expansive is to pay something for everyone right after, or the next time, like the uber or the first round at the pub, etc ^^
Future video? do French women burn soy candles a lot? Do French moms have the " elf on a shelf" going? fun video ; -)
i used to eat the French way. i indoctrinated my kids to eat that way for 12 years ( they eat anything, like a French kid does) then high school happened, and we are 25 years later, i now eat like a west coast ( a lot of vegan, nutritious stuff) American. RUclips is on! eeeeeesh. i am watching you as i am eating a banana with peanut butter on it with 1 tbs of wine and i will finish it with an espresso from our Lelit machine. i got fed up of fighting the phones at the table. America won. hihi my husband has his own schedule when to eat and diet of what to eat. He eats standing in the middle of the kitchen. eeeeesh
Fixed meal times and eating together is also very spanish thing, amd very sacred too.
As a Canadian, I would not be into splitting the bill at all unless it's family. You might be ordering a salad and glass of wine or have diet restrictions while the other person orders multiple drinks, a full meal and desert.
love the video
Thanks Noah!
We do the “even split” often in Chicago and it sucks for the few who don’t drink. Really isn’t fair, but I forget and just split it
In the Arab world, who ever invites, pays! I find sharing the payment ain’t fair. 1 of the habits I picked up from living in the states, is awkward having so much ICE in my cold drinks. Wishing u all, happy holidays. Love.
I miss having ice in my drinks! That's actually something i've never gotten used to here!
The same in Poland - who invites, pays (that's why we prefer to invite guests to our homes - restaurants are expensive :)
@@UnintentionallyFrenchified I spent a good chunk of childhood in England and quickly adjusted to the no ice thing in Europe. I got so used to it that I still frequently ask for no ice when I’m at a restaurant in the States. My American friends definitely think I’m weird the first few times they see me ask for water that way, but most of them are used to it by now.
Attention !! Très bientôt, tu vas commencer à tremper tes tartines dans ton bol, le matin ! lol
Bonsoir. J adore mais pourriez vous mettre des sous title en français 🤣
I advice you a very funny sketch of Murièle Robin called L'addition !
It's a bit old but it's very funny because it shows what can occur in restaurants in France!
It's now a classic, it's the sketch that launched Muriel Robin's career, and it Illustrates exactly what you just explained!
Enjoy your watch!
Enjoy to watch you!
Even if I'm french, I hate that splitting bill at the restaurant ! I was used to tzke few food while my colleagues, knowing we will share, choose wine and expensive meal :( Very hard to argue at that time !
I would NOT like having to split the bill. If I'm ordering something for $10.00 & then have to pay $50.00 and subsidize someone else's meal. Especially if they had a couple of glasses of wine and dessert etc.
If someone in the party orders something expensive it's not sensible to split the bill. I'm French and when I go to the restaurant with friends, generally we just pay what we ate.
My experience is that it happens a lot that in France to just split the bill down the middle. However, if you didn't eat anything and just took a drink, and everyone else ate, that would be different. But if everyone is eating and drinking something, i rarely see people ask to split it person by person.
About the "eating together" importance : it is not rare that french parents who have young children have a first "dinner" with their children, let's say around 7 pm, cooking and helping them to eat, staying with them at the table and noisily chatting about their day, and THEN, once the children are in bed, let's say at 9 pm, have their own cooking together, and have calm dinner by themselves. Here you can see the "eating together" thing, and the care for the quality of the relationship and interaction around a table. First we chill with the children, and then we chill together, We are miles away from the equation "eating = putting food into your mouth in order to prevent hunger".
bonjour la traduction ne marche pas
Splitting the bill evenly is socialism. In Czechia everyone pays for their items or the host of the event (birthday etc) pays the whole bill.
Make more french videos!!!
lol you drink coffee like i do if i have to lol
Hello could you please tell me why you call yourself a ''expat'' when you are in fact a migrant like any other people from africa, turkey etc etc ??
1. I often dine with a monied friend. He has learned to offer to pay for the wine every time because I can drink any plonk but he claims that he can't. (And he doesn't seem to be able to drink just water -- he is Belgian.)
2. I am only a social coffee drinker, too, and I love it. But I absolutely never drink coffee alone.
3. Being half French, I have always loved coffee (or hot chocolate) bowls. I really hate mugs. I know it is just a cultural thing.
4. I have really missed la bise and have always felt totally violated by hugs. I do not want my body pressed up against a lot of people. Yuck.
5. I cannot stand not eating with somebody in an established a meal routine. I don't mind going hungry for 3 hours if I have to wait. My family always ate together, and I feel that anybody living at the same address should do their best to do the same. It is an important social moment, much more important than what you actually eat.
I’ll split the bill with the number of people there., but if someone orders big, I’ll simply say to them that they can kick in an extra $50 or $100.
They get pissed off. I don’t care. They don’t come again and they’re not missed because they’re just greedy users anyway.
My ex-wife was embarrassed but glad I did it because we weren’t that well off that we could support freeloaders.
Some will seethe in silence, but those opportunists are too insensitive to register the general disapproval.
Most guys agree with me, but the women think I’ve done something terrible. But when they think about it enough, they used to quite like coming out with us.
My husband would agree with you John. That in every single situation where i felt uncomfortable, i should have said something instead of being frustrated and struggling with balancing a social moment and being budget friendly. But i was too uncomfortable around people i didn't know. I think 11 years later, i wouldn't do it the same way, but i was a lot less confident and worried about upsetting people then!
Hi 👋 it’s a great video! Thanks so much for sharing, Would you like to take a Covid interview? My name is Xin a 17 years old working on 233 interviews of Covid aim to record true stories under the Covid pandemic.
I am looking for interviewees from France, do you willing to share your stories and experience during the Covid in France?
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Thank u
Still hating the bise and pretty sure I’m going to use Covid for the rest of my life to avoid it. Lol
hahahahhahahah. You've got a really good excuse right now to keep saying no!
I’ll keep the American way of splitting the bill.
The French way is unfair.
Haha, I'm French and I've never embraced la bise! Sweaty cheeks, hard wet kiss, or muted motions, I can't stand it, really... sorry but not sorry ...
I like your videos but come one, a 4min30 intro is waaay too long for a 16min video.
I am BEGGING you: learn to pronounce the word "especially" without an X. PLEASE. You say this word multiple times in each video.
Bonjour à mon américaine préférée,
I don't really understand what about you say upon my culture. It's good exercise of understanding.
What that's mean "spit on the bill"? Cracher sur l' addition ?
If you are talking who paid the bill after a restaurant meal, it is alway
a big deal. Sharing the money? Or each one pay is own menu? ( greedy, I'd like) or someone insist, "let me pay, that's make me pleasure!" and with some hypocrisy "no, no, I do." and at the end "ok, pay". I am always a little bit ashamed.
Or if it's mean a " tips?" money you give to the garçon. I 'v did alway, concering their hard job and friendly. I don't know if it's belong to the french culture. I know in Germany people do it.. (my wife is German ".
I didn't know about this coffee ceremony. I' have supposed that's belongs much more to the Italian than the french. They have very good coffee and it is a pleasure to drink one of these ristreto somewhere in a beautifuls Italians cities. In France, we call it "petit noir" but it's look like old speaking, I don't use it.
Now people buy their own expensive percolator. It's much more ecological than these aluminum capsules. But I prefer much more going to a bar, listen the vapors of the percolator, the conversations of the consumers, the one alone with a little cup of coffee who is reading a newspaper, workers laughing or talking about the last soccer game, bises with women, I like this typical french atmosphere, indeed it's in this current life poetry I like my country.
I didn't understand abound bowl. Do you mean about cereal bowl at the breakfast? Muesli come of Switzerland, by the way the country where came my mother of the Graubunden... Davos.
The German breakfast is very generous, and it's delightful!
The English breakfast propose beans with sausages... Beuh.
But from far I prefer the French breakfast, black coffee, orange juice with a croissant.... Slowly, just with this kind of little pleasure of a day.
Unfortunately I don't have no more family. Just my "liebe Frau" and kids But I know that the french like to eat on Sunday with all family. I find that nice, as you say, these kind of meal can during, a full afternoon talking, laughing, exchanging. I do like it.
And it is this strange thing call : " cousinade". The french family meeting with the whole family, cousins, uncle, grandfather, grandgrand mother.. Ect. This can during two or three days, eating and drinking... I have never been in a cousinade, it's my own ethnographic observation.
About the kissing, the famous bisou.
I 'm uncomfortable with these demonstratives americans embraces as do you describe. The German do the same, even with unknown people. I feel ashamed, i don't know why really. It's to much, and for me belong for my woman and kids.
I was in Freiburg, in Germany. There's a lot of esoteric, mystical people, association, school. I don't like this very much. I m too Cartesian. So I have worked in a little company, who's name was "Liebe in Aktion, love in action". I don't know what i have to do until now, but people embrace each other like we are the best friends, bodies again bodies , saying I'm so happy to see you and blabla, it's looking like so hypocrisy, so intimate, I hate that, I support it but I hate.
Better two, or three, four bises, smack, smack, quick, with the women even if i don't like really that. I'am confortables with olds friends, women or men.
Other wise shaking hands it's the better, a little bit macho.. But it is good sometimes to feel man.
So unintentionally frenchified, i don't know the part who is coming from my character and who is coming from my culture,... French culture existing, also with differents cultures.. Your American, German, Swiss, Russian, spaniard, Portuguese, or Asia, African.... I like it.
So have nice Sunday for you and family.
Embrace? No: two kisses, bisous, bisous..
By, au revoir.
Split the bill = partager l'addition
When we go to restaurant with my friends we just pay for what we ate. As a french person I wasn't aware that this "dividing equally" habit existed...
We learn everyday ^^
hahha maybe it's just the people I hang out with! You're not the first to say that so i wonder if it's more about the crowd of friends I have versus a french and american thing?
@@UnintentionallyFrenchified It's a common thing in France but as always there is exception.
We usually divide by the number of person to make it easier when we all ordered about the same things. Like we won’t be nitpicking on a couple euros difference between two meals or two drinks - BUT if one get too fancy when I kept it cheap, I'm definitely only paying for what I got :)
This habit exist but it is often established by people who order the most expensive things. Or eventually when everybody is doing well in life. If people put that shit on you while you are just a student or struggle in life it is pure disrespect or lack of empathy....
Hello. Yes, that's the same to me. I know, and we sometimes do, that people can share 50/50 the bill. But usually we pay for what we eat. More or less. When we eat with very good friends or people we know, it's a "deal", as we know that we will eat approximately the same quantity. But of course, and especially as we were students or with unknown people, of course we share regarding what we ate. If someone buy caviar and champagne and the other one just a boiled egg with mayonnaise, of course it's completely different 😜
For the restaurant, both happen depending on the group. With colleague, we pay for what we eat, with friends or family, we often split the bill.
Yea it feels like the more you know people, the more you just split the bill as i've gotten older here.
Living in Tbilisi Georgia. Not getting hung up about arriving on time. I realize that when we (Americans) say I'll be there at 3PM (15 : 00) we mean by three PM , Georgians tend to mean not before three PM. So I just rock with that. I enjoy scouring the city for foods that are hard to find. But I don't sweat it if I don't (Other ex-pats here really seem to get finicky about that one hyper American special item they are missing.) Personal space. I've learned to live without it. We don't split the bills at all here. One person pays this time. Fortunately the prices won't break the bank. The general rule if you invite someone to lunch you pay. That was very weird to me. But now I don't mind at all.
Personal space is a really good one!! I haven't gotten completely used to that yet. I really get bothered when there is a lot of room in the metro and someone sits right next to me. I'm like ummmm, seriously? Personal space. I hope that comes sometimes!
Not sure if this is just a French thing to eat together. Growing up in the US we always always ate together as a family. Every meal (lunch excluded during school, but yes even lunch on the weekends) was a sit down as a family. And my husband and I do this now with our young kids. And I remember many of my friends growing up similarly. I know my cousins (I have over 30 first cousins) all pretty much ate all meals together with family as well.
I was expecting you to talk about the habit of not eating between meals LOL I think that’s the biggest one. About the bowl, unless things have changed, the only time people drank hot drinks out of a bowl (and it was a special shape & size bowl) was at breakfast. Obviously coffee after breakfast is in a demitasse. I think the habit at breakfast was because they always dunk their tartine in the hot drink, something I just can’t do. I don’t like my buttered baguette or even just my croissant in hot coffee (and leaving crumbs in my bowl). Re splitting the bill: I found that interesting. I lived in CT where we always just split the bill down the middle. When I moved to Maine, no one split the bill. Everyone pays their own. At first I thought it was really cheesy but after a while, I got use to it and I kind of like it now because if someone is a drinker or as you say ordering several courses etc while you’re just having soup, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t breed resentment. But I wonder if it’s just the custom of certain pockets of the country and/or certain segments of society.
I'm a 53 yo french man and I HATE la bise !
Right!! I'm defenitly going to use covid to limit the damn thing to my loved ones!
hahahha to each his own. I'm starting to LOVE it! Though i really hate not knowing how many i'm supposed to do and also which side to go to. That's always so awkward when we go for the same side.
@@UnintentionallyFrenchified Funny ! Remember, in France, the richer people are, the less they do la bise (just one) :-) Usually , this is 2 bises - When you face someone, you have to propose your right cheek at first. Enjoy !
@@zalifahime1749 This is the postive side of the covid and i love it !!!
I worked at a remote research station off and on for several years, and we always took meals together, because we had set mealtimes when the cooks would put the food out. When I would come back to the U.S. I would really miss those very social meals that would often run way longer than the food lasted. My wife grew up in the Midwest where (at least in her family) daily meals were something to eat and be done with, as something of an interruption that needed to be minimized--especially lunch. So now at home we generally have a hybrid approach where we have family sit-downs for the weekend meals but during the week it's more of the "get it over with" approach. Which absolutely kills me. After those meals I wind up chilling at the table by myself having a slow dessert while everyone else has gone off to do other things. (My dog is usually there hoping for a tidbit but alas he has trouble holding up his end of a conversation.)
I don't get it about the coffee thing. Do you even like the taste of coffee or not ? You sound like you hate coffee in the first place but you've forced yourself to like it for social purposes.
1) I'm French and I don't like coffee.
2) What kind of Christmas do you prefer ? In France with your husband's family or in US with your husband in your family ?
Good question! I prefer the christmas spirit in the US because I like how decorated people go and how over the top it is. But when it comes to actually spending christmas day in one country or another, i'm good either way. I'm super lucky to love my husband's family and i feel really welcome there and of course being with own family is so nice!
About the restaurant bill, we don’t share evenly all the time, it depends on the context and who you’re eating with. Watch Muriel Robin’s sketch called “L’addition”, it’s really funny 😆
Splitting the bill is Not a French thing, it’s getting older.
I’ve been here for over a year and I still can’t get used to la bise. Maybe because I arrived during Covid but it seems like something I’ll never get used to. I’m hoping I’ll one day be like you and not feel awkward.
It took me 11 years! Hahaha, so that one did not come naturally. And a lot of comments people are saying they still hate it so maybe it will never be something you love. But with covid, it's not happening a lot right now!
Of course you'll like it but only with closed friends or family... 😉
So funny to see the differences! Pre-c*v!d in NYC, restaurants only gave the option of splitting the bill evenly- now they are more flexible. When we were pinching pennies it always stressed me out, but now that we are older and more financially comfortable it doesn't! And our family always grew up super intentional about meals around the table and we have SO many memories around the table together. I really hope to continue that as my little family grows up too! I LOVE that tradition.
I am an American who lived in Copenhagen, Denmark. Danes often use the expression, “tak for sidste,” which literally means “thanks for last.” Contextually it’s what you say when you see the person who last hosted a party/dinner or any other event you attended. I still find myself telling other Americans, “thanks for last time.” They look at me strangely sometimes.
I do love meal time. When I lived in the states, I worked full time in a stressful job-I was a high school nurse with 1800 students. Now that I live in France and no longer work full time, I love to plan and cook meals. I cook Monday-Friday and my husband cooks on the weekends. As far as La Bise, i did miss it during lockdown, but I am hesitant to do now because contact with people kinda freaks me out!
I don't think la bise is the best idea right now either so way to stay cautious! And glad to hear that meal time has changed for the better for you too!
I'm French/Swedish, and my husband is American. We live in France, and just watching your video made me realize that after 7 years of mariage, yeah we don't always eat together, in the way round, I picked up the American habit while it was not possible to imagine having a lunch by myself, now we have a natural middle of the road solution. But my husband is still not a big fan of the dinner parties, he sees it as boring if it lasts more than 20 minutes. I find the French way friendlier but the American way gives your more freedom.
I have to say, I have the exact opposite experience regarding splitting the bill. In the U.S. I would be much more likely to just split the bill evenly with my friends, because not all places will itemize it for you and it's considered extra work for the server. In France I have literally never just split the bill evenly - the server just brings the machine over to the table and we pay one by one, or when we're done we get up to leave and pay individually at the counter. This could also be a function of the type of friendships I have in each country though, and the fact that my time is split much more heavily toward the U.S. right now.
Regarding the family meals, I think that might be a function of your personal upbringing, because I grew up with important family meals in the U.S. We always ate dinner together, always.
Exact same experience as you for splitting bills! In France, with friends we each paid for what we ate, and now I live in NYC where servers need to take our cards away from the table, and obviously can't remember which amount to put on which card, so they just split it equally - which is challenging when you are living on a budget in NYC and always order the cheapest thing on the menu
@@scb25 usually they will bring separate bills for everyone and in different bill pouches so each pouch will have the bill and the card associated to it. Not sure why that would be "hard" for a server to know the exacta amount to charge per bill.
@@martinasandoval5326 Interesting, makes sense! I often find that they refuse to bring out multiple checks/pouches, but maybe that's just a NYC thing!
I don’t know I’m in USA and we always split the bill at a restaurant never heard of paying for your own also we eat dinner everyday together as a family even if that means 9pm. We cook at home bring leftovers for lunch. Maybe just your family.
Splitting the bill isnt a standard. I was born in Paris but i live in the suburb, if yoj just wanna pay your share, say it. Most of the time, people are gonna exhale, but substract your amount and end up dividing the resulting amount. Dont be shy about your finances
I think it's getting older.
I'm in America but I just feel like why do all that math?
I only go out when I can afford to and I eat with people I know
Bowl is multi-purpose, you can stock grated vegetables in it or make some mayonnaise by hand ...
Hello miss, moi je suis français, mais je ne fais pas la bise, je trouve cette habitude stupide. Elle est apparue à la fin des années 1970, c'est les filles de petite vertu qui ont commencé à faire ça et ensuite les homosexuels, je refuse de pratiquer leur habitudes idiotes, d'autant plus que le fait de faire un bisou sur la joue d'une fille a une importance pour moi, ça signifie quelque chose.
Please pronounce especially correctly. Thank you. There is no x in that word.
Remontada de la France: ruclips.net/video/RnSKcIVDyt4/видео.html
"exspecially" is not a word in English. Is it French?
I would love to move abroad! 1st
Changed my life! Highly Recommend :)
You slayed me on, "you've crossed into the dark side". Bowls....must be a French peasant habit brought forward.
I spent 4 years in Sicily. Huge coffee culture there similar to France. They were also tea drinkers but used large latte style mugs for it.
Splitting the bill evenly is unfair for those who don't drink alcohol - unless your dinner companions accommodate for it - just saying... :)
I've actually seen more even splitting in the US than in France, where people tend to pay for what they ate.
PS - I'm French but I've never done the bowl thing - in a way I find it disgusting for some reason, LOL - but then that's probably because my dad is Italian, so it's always been coffee cups for me :)
I can only congratulate you for your getting used to the "bise"... it is the one I am most impressed with from your list. I would guess getting used to it is similar to getting use to hugging for French, and I have lived in US, then UK for 20 years and still cannot get used to hugging. Except for core family as well as kids for which there is hugging in France [so that feels natural], it's just (still) too intimate for me to have so much body contact... It can occasionally happen (I am not always given a choice), but I remain inconfortable with it. Maybe to some extent because something that is never done with family for me (mine is French - no hug - my wife's is from Asia - no hug, no bise...) nor with a significant portion of our friends.
When you're older and more financially stable, you can afford to pay for others. Another really interesting video that I so agree with. Great job Kate!
Totally off topic. I hope you don't mind me saying...you look so great in blue! Merry Christmas!
5 weeks vacation!? I won't say where but I know well established enterprises in Frances where 9 weeks per year is granted, as standard.
Really enjoyed this. I can see where Covid gave you a new appreciation for la Bise.
My husband and I have always eat together. We sit at the dinner table.
Eating together at home and don't share the same meal, it seems so weird for me.
Super weird indeed!
we absolutely will eat different things here in France with my husband, but sit together. You don't ever do that when you don't want to eat the same thing? Or do you mean when i lived in the states and i didnt eat at the same time as the rest of my family?
@@UnintentionallyFrenchified Oh to me it's both but even more so the "not the same meal". Might as well eat outside then :-). feels like a waste of energy to fix two different things for the same table...at home. But in all fairness, I'm the weird one in my entourage so... :-). Great video btw
@Kate, Try yuenyeung, the Hong Kong mixture of tea and coffee! It's a thing! Lucas Sin explains the history!
I like splitting the bill equally.
Usually when you are with friends. And the untold rule is to more or less order in the same price range and to to align to the lesser. If one is the only one to order an « aperitif » or a starter, or an expensive dish, it’s considered weird.
I have lived in Asia and now in Luxembourg and there the rule is to pay for everything. Some German people told me, no we don’t split here, like I was a petty person. I hate the game when one leaves discretely the table and pays for everything. You have to keep records in your head to pay the full bill the next time. if ever you win the next game. So I clearly state at the time of the invitation that this time is my turn.