Black friends have commented on how exhausting this is. And told me they don't think it's their duty to educate every ignorant white person. Use your white privilege for good. Be a good ally. Don't leave them to carry the entire load alone.
Exactly. I once had a friend tell me that I was the first yt person who ever told her that it's my place as an ally to speak up. That I had something she didn't. White privilege. In the case of the partygoers, it's a pick your battles situation. Decisions people of color have to make every day, all day. 😔
As a black person, you have learned to ( try not to) take it personally. Also in today’s behavior you could be hurt ( killed) ect. And try as you might you can’t teach everyone.
These are scary times. But don't forget this BS is the last gasp of the old world. I believe things will get better. Every time marginalized people make progress there is a backlash. It's not the first or last time it's happened this way. But overall progress marches on.
It's similar to me talking with right wing nut jobs. They're set in their ways and can't entertain actual facts and real ideas. I've given up. And it's only been a few years. The exhaustion of a lifetime of it you have faced, I simply cannot fathom. The human race basically sucks.
@@paigeharrison3909 I think Martin Luther King Jr said something about the Arc of justice bending in the right direction. I agree with you that this is not a new occurrence, but I also think we're standing right on the brink of disaster and I don't know if we can find our way back to safety and sanity. I keep hearing "THIS is not who we are". Obviously it IS who we are, so how do we deal with it. I'm not sure that it's not too late. Sorry to be so negative on a beautiful fall day. Take care.
@@myraseeger4707 Yeah. And that can go into those two lines. The first about not attributing to malice that which can be explained by ignorance. The second about ignorance at a certain level is indistinguishable from malice.
Disabled person here. I always have the "There are a lot of people who are not disabled but draw disability." card thrown in my face. Another one when I was young was, "You don't look disabled." There are a lot of nasty things people say to one another. Stop, please.
Beau I can speak about this from tons of experience. I'm 54-year-old African American man. My first job was at McDonald's We had a guy who did the maintenance who loved to tell racist jokes about black people too black people. One of the older men called him out on it and he acted like his feelings were hurt. I was 16 fast forward to today ( not counting all the years in between that I had to deal with it) young guy at my part-time job every time he sees me walk up instead of saying hello he's starts doing some gangster sign crap "what's up yo yo yo" he'd only been working there short time I pulled him aside one day and I said "I want you to understand what you're doing is ignorant and it's offensive I don't know if you're aware that it's offensive or you just don't care" he told me that's just how him and his boys at school get down. I said one you guys are almost old enough to be my grandkids and two this is a workplace. Now when we see each other at work he says hello I said hello and that's it. But some people don't realize what they're doing is offensive or sometimes they're trying to be funny or sometimes they're actually trying to mock you sometimes it's hard to tell which one it is.
They know, but because our black youth give them a pass, they think they are cool with you. If they truly respected us as Black Americans, they would empathize with what we've endured, and make a point not to remind of us if the negativity surrounding certain things.
@@rinehardt6837 - I speak not from observation, but experience. Growing up where I did and certain jobs as an adult, I relate to what you were saying. The sad thing is, they listen to us to defend, not for clarification as to how we've been made to feel.
Good grief. Two different examples, I think: The first one was a grade-A d---bag who played power games - complain, or sock him in the face, and you are the trouble maker, or even worse, an Angry Black Man. I know it's mean of me, but I wouldn't mind if that guy is stuck working in that McDonalds to this very day. The second one - could be being a jerk on purpose, but I'm absolutely certain, it could also be genuine stupid. I had a young boy (13 or 14) in a math class once who used the n-word and was honestly shocked when I told him I'd kick him out for good if I heard that word from him again. Because: "but those people live in my street and they call each other that all the time!" And yep, that was exactly the creature who didn't understand the difference. Which I know because he also told me that "of course girls aren't good in math" and, after me giving him a good long look, adding that he was okay with me teaching a donor-sponsored class _where he got free math tutoring_ . My regret to this day is that I didn't say "okay, fine, if boys are better in math, then you and the other two boys here (who didn't protest!) don't need this class anymore, thx bye".
@@Smartee_pants Not so sure that they know. I've taught in schools for a while (Germany, not USA) and I've learned not to put a limit to how dumb potentially intelligent people can be. A lot of examples, sadly, had to do with what teenage boys telling each other about what's okay to do/say to girls. Given those Yale pledges in 2006 chanting "No means yes, yes means ..." , it's probably about the same in the US. Parallel problem: girls won't protest because they learn from experience that they'll only get more trouble, and you end up with young men who think this sort of BS is okay.
As a Native American mixed white person... I'm exhausted with Indian giver being used in school to steal my things by asking if they can look at something... I'm exhausted with being called an ignorant savage, and not being allowed to be angry because that proves I'm savage to ignorant a holes. I'm jealous of Asian people for being called smart and good at math, and that they're allowed to be angry about their harmful stereotypes. Its exhausting.
Have not been labeled the 'Indian giver' connotation ever, but grade school kids did use the adults parroting of 'red skin' a few times. Like they could know this at that age unless told by their parents. That was ignorance for sure not so much for them, but for their parents saying such a thing. Passed down, generation to generation. Sad.
The whole "Indian giver" term is filthy rich coming from white folks given... Basically the entire history of the US. Sorry you have to deal with this bullshit.
When first came to Arkansas from Belize I didn't know what racism was. I was ignorant of what was happening, looking back at was openly being said and done now those same people are the ones with trump signs in yards.
Welcome..! 🙂 After living in several American cities and meeting lots of people from other countries, I apologize for the ignorant crap that was aimed at you. ☮️
@@goldenhawk352, Bubba, your reading comprehension skills are lacking. The person said things that were said and done (to them) by certain people are the ones that ended up with TRUMP signs in their yards. They weren't talking about everyone in Arkansas or even ALL of the stupid people in Arkansas, just the ones that were ugly to them when they first arrived from Belize.
My White coworker and I got to know each other through books. We’d exchange books and eventually started taking trips to the library on lunch break. I’m an Afro wearing Black woman from the “hood” and he’s a tie and wire framed glasses wearing White man from Pleasantville, but we got along great and liked the same authors. One day I was leaving work and he asked if I wanted a ride. He drove me home and when we were going down my block, he said “Well, that’s not so bad. I thought I’d be robbed or shot”. At first I was a bit offended but he really didn’t mean to be racist. When the faces on the street turned Black, he got nervous because in his mind, Black = danger. I didn’t say anything. I let him find out on his own because he’d drive me home everyday without a single incident. Sometimes experience is the best teacher.😊
Imagine how exhausting it is to get pulled over for nothing several times a month. People watch videos and ask why the driver is so upset.." he only making it worse". It's exhausting when you're just trying to get home from work late at night.
Yesterday a neighbour came by to let my husband know that he'd closed our car door early that morning. While we were chatting he brought up that someone had gotten angry at him for using an offensive word that starts with "n" and he didn't understand why because it never used to be offensive. I explained to him that it's always been offensive and once you know that, it's your responsibility to behave accordingly. To my surprise, he agreed.
George Carlin said words are just words, it's the context!! Dave Chappelle says the N word in most of the tic toc's I've seen. He's black so it's ok I presume, but, not right for me to say it, I'm white.
Hopefully he will do this🤔🤔1. think before he speaks .. 2..Adopt this following philosophy: when you know better..do better. Simply stop using those offensive words..
My father is Korean. I had that damned "Chinese or Japanese?" conversation for the first time at the age of six in the A&P candy aisle. It sure as shit wasn't the last.
I know next to nothing about Asia, but I still know that's ignorant. It's like asking a European "Oh are you English or German?" "I'm French." "Is that more like England or Germany?" It'd be even funnier if they decided French was like German because they both don't speak English. Or that France was occupied by Germany in WWII. P.S. I do know enough not to accuse a Korean of being either Chinese or Japanese. They have a whole cultural thing about that. :)
Not gona lie, it is extremely fucking tiring to explain to people that no, I don't get free money from the government just because I'm enrolled in a Native American Nation. My Nation has made a lot of good business decisions and could afford to give a small scholarship for people going to college and to help older people get their prescriptions filled. But that doesn't mean I, as an individual, get free money from the US government. And I also have to pay taxes just like everyone else.
@Zak Straight up had a co worker tell me that Native Americans are all rich cuz casinos ! He claimed there's no poor NA. i countered his claim showing pix of the rez w no running water no electrical. He claimed it is by choice. OMG jfc.
It’s become quite clear that “ either you don’t know or you don’t care, but the net result is that same” I’ll happily share information , but it’s also way too common for people to claim it’s not fact unless they do “the research” themselves. -Now we’re in “ Leading the horse to water “ territory.
I’m a white male. I’m pansexual, and I make it a point to say something when I feel it can leave an impact. At my first job, about 20 years ago, I had to deal with a “good ol country boy” spouting all kinds of homophobia. He was the definition of ignorance is bliss. And one day I just interrupted him and said “hey Tim, do you know I’m bisexual?” (I didn’t wanna explain gender identity to him as well) “What… what do you mean?” “It means I like guys, and I like girls. So not all gay people are like what you think.” I left him with his thoughts, because I could tell my the long silence he would never have suspected I could have been anything besides straight. We never conversed any more about it, but the homophobia stopped. So even if you can’t educate everyone, it’s worth taking the time when you can.
Never ever will this get old. My Man, Mr. Clemens. A wonderful example when people argue about how times shaped people's opinions. It was too cool to be a racist back then and he wasn't. Travel, he said the most wonderful things about doing so, as well.
Oppressed people don't always want to stand up to it because it makes life more complicated for them. You can't assume everyone is going to react the same to racist comments or actions.
On the other hand, I'm pretty sure Lizzo is trolling the racists by playing what she claims is James Madison's crystal flute while twerking at her concerts. The racists are apparently too ignorant to realize they are being trolled, and Lizzo is getting tons of free publicity! She's a lot smarter than I thought she was.
Plus, it can be dangerous. If you're the only person in a crowd targeted by a bigoted comment that everyone else seems cool with, you have no guarantees that the rest of the crowd will side with you if you stand up about it.
As an Indigenous person I’d have to say this. It is exhausting. But as for why his friend was annoyed when asked: if my white friend didn’t say anything to the ignorant racist and then asked me why I didn’t - I’d be more annoyed with the friend who didn’t do the education but did expect me too.
Yep. It should have been "I didnt want to say anything because I wasn't sure you would want me to at that time. Since you weren't saying anything." Not "Why didn't you say anything" which makes it seem like it would be solely their responsibility to say anything rather than you trying to respect their potential feelings.
Bingo! In order to be granted humanity, I have to be the absolute best, I'm discriminated against, I work 2x as hard just to get half of the credit, accolades and money as a yt & I'm supposed to be responsible for teaching every ignorant person & if I don't, then I have to report to you?! Definitely don't need friends/acquaintances like this
Why he was irritated? LOL think about it. Guy says something wrong. Black guy corrects him. What happens? Well usually they clutch their pearls gasp and cause a commotion claiming they honestly didn't mean harm, thus turning it back on the angry black man. That's why he didn't say anything. But then his friend questioning his actions again while innocent, is now suggesting the black man again made the wrong decision. I think if he would have waited longer to ask, he could have had more explanation. There's layers and unfortunately the white friend did want to know. sometimes it's hard to explain in detail.
Beau as an immigrant, I think you 10000% nailed it. Literally I get asked every single day about my accent and have to explain that I’m from the Caribbean but not Jamaica. I’m from a Caribbean island called Dominica 🇩🇲 🇩🇲 but it’s not the DR. When you have to give the same speech 10 times a day and explain your existence it’s more than exhausting, it’s a little sad.
It absolutely is energy-draining. When you're feeling worn down by it, just know you're not alone in that. We're everywhere, and are always extending all the Love & Light imaginable. ✌🏼💚 Take it when you need it. 🥰
Speaking on behalf of the percentage of those who have bummed you out that only later (and to their horror) realized you were right: Thank you. A huge chunk of us are taught about the world from within isolated, superstitious communities. One of the few ways we are lifted out of that poisonous mindset are through conversations with the brave and the patient, like yourself. It shouldn't be necessary for you to educate your countrymen, but if it's any consolation I can affirm that the effort to educate works eventually on many of us, even if we get embarassed and defensive when initially confronted about it.
@@WYCD 🎯 How did I know I was being indoctrinated to be a racist? When I knew lots of racist jokes, and my friends knew I would find a racist joke funny. Sobering, and heartbreaking realization...🔍
"We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people". ~Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
I’ve tried educating someone that I know is not racist after they posted a “joke” involving a black person and an ape. I prefaced my comment by saying that I knew he wasn’t racist and I didn’t think he knew, but it was deeply rooted in racism. Because it was meant as a joke, with no malicious intent, he defended his ignorance and he and several of his white friends proceeded to tell the black woman what was racist and accused me of “making it about race”. Willful ignorance can’t be educated. So, yes, it’s exhausting trying to educate the ignorant because you never know when they’ll want to bask in their ignorance and attack you.
I had an experience a few years ago that made me realize how ignorant I am. I worked at a big box store, and while on my break, a co- worker ( who happened to be black) was saying that he had forgotten his sunblock. I was curious and asked him if sunburn happened to black people too. In my ignorance, I assumed that the melanin in his skin would protect him better than the melanin in mine. He rolled up his sleeve, and he had just as much of a farmer’s tan as I did. My point is …. one should be comfortable enough to address their own ignorance and ask questions. In my view , purely racist people are afraid to find out that we are beings that are very similar no matter the color of our skin. I made sure I had sunblock with me after that, because sunburn sucks for everyone. I was glad he was comfortable enough to teach me.
I suffered a traumatic spinal cord injury at the age of 21. One day I was a good 6'4" athlete and the next I was in a wheelchair. I am now 47 years post injury. My wife and I have two wonderful young boys who are now men. You hit the nail on the head about becoming overwhelmed by ignorance. Over my 47 years I have become tired of people telling me how inspirational I am, or they pat me on the head telling me how nice it is you were able to adopt and have two great kids. We did not adopt. This assumption about people not being able to have kids after a SCI is not true. This is just a few instances of the daily ignorance thrown my way. Thanks Beau for this presentation on ignorance. It is out there everywhere we turn these days. I think it is worse now every though people have the answers to most questions at their finger tips. Keep up the great work.
OMG - "PAT ME ON THE HEAD"...wow...makes me want to help you stand or watch you stand and "pat him/her on the head say "I'm sorry your'e ignorant. Bless your heart"
Thanks Marty. You're absolutely right it is exhausting.. I am so tired of going through a store with my sunglasses and white cane while hearing you're doing an amazing job. I I've been blind for half of my life and all I've done is gained some of my independence back. In those cases I usually say "you too" RUclips" , and just keep going. Don't know how they feel about it don't know if it goes over the head or whatever but at least it gives me a little satisfaction. Small victories I guess. Hope you find ways to achieve those victories as well. Take care.
@@demonicusa.k.a.theblindguy3929 When I hear people say they cannot do something a traumatic or acquired disability gives a simple choice, live or die. It is so simple in its pain and or in its short-term suffering. I did not get any smarter after my early onset of paraplegic. Although I know I never would have gone on to earn an Undergrad and Masters degree from a Big Ten University. After I pulverized my spinal cord I had to make that simple choice. Unlike many, I succeeded because of my family and from the moment I landed in the Emergency Room every Doctor, Nurse or Therapist really wanted to see me not only live but excel. Again, I came from a very large family and all of them did something to make my life one worth living. All the best out there amongst the non-disabled. Never forget that on your worst day you are operating at a much higher level of intelligence and with more sensory feedback than 99% of the able bodied population. All the best as you age with a disability. It was smooth running until I hit 65. It is all uphill from here. Be well.
As an atheist I can relate to it being tiring to correct the misconceptions and stereotypes. When I stopped believing god(s) I didn't know the word atheist. I knew there were other religions and it being 20 years since I'm sure I was aware that some people probably didn't believe, but when I told a friend and he said I was an atheist I had to ask what an atheist was. I do remember him telling me and me asking. It was novel to me back then and I didn't have a problem telling people but I didn't go around proselytizing 20 years on none of my current co-workers know. I don't tell people unless I'm asked directly because I got tired of defending myself. And I say myself instead of my lack of belief because of the stereotypes. A few of the stereotypes: Atheists are Satanists (We don believe in Satan either). Atheists lack good judgement (We looked at the lack of any empirical evidence and concluded that we shouldn't believe in something for which there is no evidence. If that is lack of good judgement then I can't help you.). Atheists are evil because there are no consequences. (This comes from the perception that we won't go to heaven I think. Probably most atheists don't believe in an afterlife. So the only time that matters is our time on earth. If we treat people right then our limited time in this life will be better. If we do bad things our limited time here will be wasted. Meanwhile a Christian serial killer can ask Jesus for forgiveness of his sins and will receive the reward of entry into heaven. So I ask, who can do bad things because there are no consequences for their actions.). Atheists are just looking for attention. (Atheists are the ones going door to door trying to convert new members. Also, if I was seeking attention I would be telling all my co-workers and I'm. I don't want anyone to know at this point. I can hide behind internet anonymity here in the comments and the people here have no direct impact on my life.) If my employer knew I was atheist I would worry that everything I did was questioned because of their biased perception of an atheist's judgement and morals. Matt was late because he is atheist. Matt did this wrong because he is atheist. Matt took longer to complete this task because he is atheists. My errors and faults stick in their mind because they associated it with my lack of faith in unprovable gods. And because it sticks in their mind I get worse reviews, lower raises, I'm more likely to be laid off, and worse assignments. The biggest difference in my minority status is that I can hide behind others perception that I am of their religious belief, while someone that is black, hispanic, asian or of other ethnic origins wear their minority status on their face and cannot hide it.
Matt, you are a sweet, thoughtful person, and I appreciate your putting this into words so eloquently. Sorry you have to put up with religious bigotry in a work situation.
So much truth in these words. Personally, I didn't so much 'stop believing' as I realized that I was trying to force belief in something for which there was no evidence or inkling of truth. After extensively researching multiple religions, I found that the commonality amongst them all was a combination of control of the masses, unquestioned obedience, and conformity designed to perpetuate the status quo. Religions are no more than altered interpretations of spirituality. As spiritualty is a combination of moral understandings and life lessons experienced, no one individual can adequately or accurately interpret someone else's religious quandries, questions, or trajectory.
In the military I broke bread with people from all walks of life. I learned so much about others culture and I enjoyed every minute Treat others how you want to be treated and this world will be great
Your military experience seems to have had a positive impact on you and your thinking about racism. Fantastic. That isn't what happens for everyone. Some people feel that they aren't racist or aren't ignorant about racism because they are on what they believe are good terms with their fellow soldiers of other races OR because they are on good working terms and socially friendly with co-workers from other races OR because they have a "friend" who is from another race. Yet, they often are either still ignorant, still racist, or both. The difference I see is that when a person is on good terms with a co-worker, fellow soldier, or friend who is from another race, do the positive ideas the person has about their co-worker or friend extend to other people of the same race. OR, are they only on good terms with their co-worker or friend, but believe that the negative stereotypes associated with that race still apply to everyone other than their co-worker or friend? If the latter, then they could be on good terms with hundreds or co-workers or friends from another racist and they would still be racist.
Machele Arthur. i'm not religious but Amen to that comment. i walked away from catholicism because all the catholics i knew didn't follow that simple rule. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is a biblical concept spoken by Jesus in Luke 6:31 and Matthew 7:12; it is commonly referred to as the "Golden Rule."
What you stated about treating others the way you want to be treated is known as The Golden Rule and is found in almost every religion. I applaud you. Nowadays, we have the Platinum Rule: Treat others as they wish to be treated, not how you wish to be treated. This could involve some cultural aspect, such as learning what they can and cannot eat and acting accordingly, e.g. don’t invite someone who can’t eat pork to a pig roast. Don’t offer a beer to someone whose religion or culture forbids alcohol. The onus is on us to ask and/ or do some research. And it’s fun!
Although I believe _The Golden Rule_ comes from a good place, there is a huge problem with it; we are all individuals and treating everyone the same way is not going to work for a lot of people. Not everyone would feel good if I treated them all the way I like being treated, and I definitely would not appreciate people treating me the same way some of them prefer to be treated. So I try to treat others in a way that feels good to them. Even that method doesn't always work, but it works a lot more often than treating people all the way I want to be treated. It takes a little more thoughtfulness, but it's really not very difficult overall. Sometimes there is a tough nut to crack, but most times it's pretty easy if we just pay attention to the individual and what they like. And people like that. We know when someone else cares, and that makes it easier to see things as mistakes, rather than take them personal, or make unfair assumptions.
What bothers me the most about the right in this country is I feel they have intentionally chosen ignorance. They've chosen to NOT know the actual facts. That's been the most baffling part about friends and family. They're intentionally choosing not to be educated. It's like nothing I've seen in my 50+ years.
I agree wholeheartedly. I'm a disabled woman(I was disabled at birth) and just trying to educate people who make ignorant comments about disabilities is overwhelming at times. I've heard it all: Disabled people all have learning disabilities (nope, I graduated from an accredited college's accelerated learning program and earned my Creative writing BFA with a 3.11 GPA. Disabled people can't do what "normal" people can do. (I'm a wife, a mom, I hike, I cook, I garden, I graduate college, I've had poems and articles I wrote, published, etc. etc. blah blah blah...) "Being in a wheelchair means you can't walk at all" (false some people only need it sometimes: I only need my wheelchair on really bad days, On hard days I can walk short distances, on good days I can walk with my cane/walker, on great days I can walk and people have no clue I'm disabled.) As for how this tie into ignorance and racism: As a disability and sexual health advocate, I've learned: people who are disabled don't get the same level of sexual health care that able-bodied people receive. And people of other races get an even lower level than that. If you add in being female the level of care goes down even further. Please educate yourselves. If you need to ask people as Beau said pull them aside and ask/correct people. Once you educate yourself fully then you can pull someone aside and educate them if they're being ignorant. Just be sure YOU know what you're telling them is correct first.
As a black man myself. I think I understand where your friend coming from. It's tiring trying to educate ignorant people especially since most people ignorant people don't willingly want to educate themselves.
When someone's belief is based on ignorance, they are often really reluctant to address it. It's a form of laziness and lack of interest in something outside their usual world. These people are not malicious, but the end result is the same: false information is let go by and so is perpetuated.
You wanna talk about ignorance, I was in a check out line at the local grocery store. It was right after hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico and this ,person asks "Why should WE help those Mexicans in Puerto Rico?" I almost died laughing as did some of the other customers, her significant other explained that PR WAS part of the United States, then told her to "shut up."
Yep. I get real tired of explaining things to people. It can also be dangerous to call people out at a party. I don't know if I'll be lynched or lauded for my doing so. I'm sure that guy thought about getting home safely that night especially if someone like that was there. That's a thing too because its happened and continues to happen.
When I was a freshman in college, I curled my hair for an event. It came out far curlier than I intended and I remarked to my east coast roomie, “I look like a pickaninnie!” This was a term my mom used all the time when her hair did the same thing. The look on my roomie’s face told me everything. I never used the term again, especially as she also informed me of the origin of the term. It made me take a fresh look at the attitudes I grew up with and reject many of the old terms.
As a curly-haired white girl...yikes! I understand you didn't know any better because you were used to that term being used, but I'd have never thought to call myself (or anyone else of any race!) by that term.
@@davidradtke160 It is a derogatory term for a small black child. It was also spelled picaninny. Think "Buckwheat" from The Little Rascals cartoon. I suggest you look it up for more information so you can see why I was so horrified that I had used that term so liberally as a child, learning from my mother.
@@sandpiperr Yeah...the more I learn about that term the more horrified I became. It's similar to the cringe I feel remembering how my dad would call the Mexican migrant workers "wetbacks", even though they were all carrying the proper documentation as part of a now defunct workers program.
I have been called out many, many times for my ignorance. When I would be called ignorant, I would ask the person to educate me on my own ignorance. Handling the situation this way allowed me to learn a lot about the side of American culture I was never exposed to. Dont assume anything, be curious and have a discussion.
OT: I wonder how you would react to knowledge about how economics work and what that would do to your perception of the term 'capitalism' or 'free market'.. Most people I meet on here don't react well to knowledge. They stick with their beliefs and that's that.
@@a2pabmb2 That is exactly the point I'm trying to make mate. Your knowledge on the 'free market' is flawed and false. I'm trying to tell you leftists (is that OK, or shall I use another term?) that you have been fallen for a lie when you blame the free market for things that is not the fault of the free market, but the opposite - the unfree market. Markets on which supply and demand are NOT free to adjust to each other. And no, the 'free' in free market does not stand for 'free from rules'. That's a lie. Markets without rules do not exist - or where do you think does 'private property' or 'personal freedom' come from, if not from rules that are being enforced? So yeah, your view of 'free markets' is not correct. Here is a puzzler for you - free markets trend towards ZERO profits for all involved. Have you ever heard a free market advocate tell you that he likes NO profits? I haven't. What everybody calls a free market isn't one (we can check and see if supply is able to freely adjust to demand to decide if it is a free or unfree market). This is what I want YOU to think about. Questioning your knowledge, your awareness of what you think a free market is.
As a Chinese immigrant I changed my first name to something in English because most Americans white or otherwise couldn’t be bothered to try pronouncing my single-syllable Chinese first name. Never-mind when it comes to our culture.
I hear you. I had a co-worker whom we called "Nick" for years... YEARS! Suddenly, it seemed to us, he wanted to be called by his real name. Apparently, when he went to university, his classmates renamed him "Nick" because they had difficulty with his easy-to-pronounce two-syllable name. I was shocked that this happens. I'm so glad he stood up for himself and took his name back.
Welcome friend. I'm 65 and white, growing up in Idaho most of my friends were Indians,as an adult some of my best friends were Mexican-Americans. It never occurred to me to view them as different than me, I just gravitated to people who are kind.
It's amazing how easy it becomes to pronounce unfamiliar names decently, if not perfectly, once one begins interacting with people in the group at issue. Applies to any two groups, but seems particularly applicable to White folk and Chinese folk, and for that matter, White folk and many Asian groups.
Real story: a group of children, one black, were playing in a white neighborhood on the street, when a woman came along, asking one of the mothers verbatim "He is so cute where have you got that one from?" The mother answered: "I made him myself." That woman had a well kept nice white picket fence inside her mind.
@@jamesowensii2562 my Ghanian friend always replied "Oh, Gad accidentally left that one in the oven too long." or "Yeah, so much white bread around here, someone has to be full corn." XD She had some brutal replies.
That reminds me of a story my girlfriend told. She is white and was married to a black man and they produced 2 beautiful biracial girls. Of course the girl's skin is much darker than their mother's. One day, when the girls were little, she took them to a park and a white woman came up to her and said "They're so cute. Where did you get them from?" My girlfriend calmly said "My womb". The woman looked embarrassed and changed the subject. It's funny how people just make assumptions.
I'm not black but as a transgender woman I can 1000% confirm what you said. Its EXHAUSTING educating ignorant people all the time. I'm sure its tenfold for someone who isnt white. You've made so many people better at human-ing. Thank you so much!
I experienced someone having a "moment " when I let one of my platoon mates borrow a bathing suit. She asked why would I let someone black (ebony black and from Jamaica) wear my clothing. I told her that I had zero problem with it. Why did it matter to her?
This whitey from New England and a black friend from Watts, CA Laughed a LOT at our selves as we helped cure each other's Ignorance. 🙂 VOTE.gov helps Register Voters and confirm if You were Purged.
@@jazzman. same here. I was then pretty frustrated after the end of my service noticing the ignorance working the communities I later loved in. I did notice though that a lot of neighbors listened to veterans. Our experiences are unique and different than theirs.
In the service it comes as a double-edged sword. Because a lot of people come in with that ignorant baggage and then it gets shattered slowly but diligently over time. Some folks come in knowing no better, thinking no better, acting no better, but eventually they come to a situation where they have to correct themselves. Then there are the situations where they HAVE to come to an abrupt correction via the chain of command or the fellow service member bustin' a head open to teach them different. There are still times where many service members will leave and still hold some of those ignorant stereotypes but after being reminded how those people they hold stereotypes against have also walked beside them and held them up in situations that your average civilian of THEIR ilk would fall apart, cry and run away from. THANKFULLY, it does teach a LOT of them but unfortunately when they leave the service, they go right back to the information black holes they were raised in.
So cool Reverend Ed Trevor's talked about Beau and Rule 303. I am not religious, but this preacher totally gets God. And he preaches like a progressive. And I am so glad he gave a shout out to Beau.
you would not believe how often people make the back and forth trip between Rev Trevors and Beau ::laughing:: many have found the Rev through Beau, myself included. so welcome to the community. both are great at seeing things from a different prospective.
@@flor9389 the big thing is though Rev Trevors doesnt care what religion you are. he cares about your heart. i think at least half of us are religions other then christian. Im pagan and god knows we have a ton of athiests
@@nevannarence6542 I’m a mishmash. I’m married to a pagan witch (not Wiccan). I was raised Christian until confirmation age when my parents thought it was a good idea for me to take my own path. I flirted with Catholicism for a while (engagement) then went to a small Methodist church led by a closeted gay man. Then my ex got the church in the divorce and I married my current spouse. When I lost what would’ve been a miracle baby, my faith went with it. I’ve kicked around since then trying to find it.
Meh, I've seen him talking/preaching against 'wokeism', he still seems to be in the camp that thinks minorities would be better off if they didn't complain so much 😕
King of the Hill is criminally underrated. Treads such a fine line of highlighting ignorance and stereotypes without whacking you over the head with it.
I think the show's genius was keeping half the viewers unaware that the characters were a parody while the other viewers (with opposing political views) thought it was hilarious to see those same folks making asses of themselves. A fine line indeed.
The social commentary was a decade or two ahead of its time, for sure. I love when Hank's actually-psycho-racist dad unexpectedly, immediately greets and recognizes Kahn's family as Laotian.
Ever notice that the most “patriotic” people you know have probably never left town? I was raised up in the south, in the 70’s, as an only child to a divorced Jewish mother. Safe to say, I felt I was about as close to being black as a white person can get. I had lots of non white friends, and I paid a pretty hefty price for that from my racist white friends. To me, ignorant people are often poor, and often afraid. The people who aren’t poor and afraid are the worst racists of all. They are just bigoted. But I have hope, as each generation comes along, that the bigotry and racism will fade away, along with the people who seem hell bent on keeping it alive.
During the BLM Protests, the exhaustion of being expected to educate the ignorant came up on several late night comedian's shows. Wish we could all get to know each other better, share out family's cultural heritages and have more things to enjoy and broaden our viewpoints. 💙🇺🇸🌊🌊🌊
I have spent quite a bit of time trying explain this. I have met people that were labeled as racist and after speaking with them realized they were ignorant. Having dealt with racist people helped me to understand the nuances. I feel that people are too quick to judge and dismiss. We all have more in common than we know. I appreciate you Brother!
We should stop treating ignorant like a derogatory term. We are all ignorant about something. Addressing it shouldnt start a conflict, it should be a positive thing. Heard a guy once say "i change my mind as fast as possible because it sucks to be wrong so i want to just get it over with"
As I was going to say in response to another reply, that's the difference between ignorance and stupidity. I've had people argue that it's the other was around, but to me, ignorance is simply a lack of knowledge. You can learn. Stupidity means you are too dumb to think. You have to insist you are are right even when you're just guessing, or repeating something someone.told you.. It's not even a matter of intelligence. You can be a genius and still let your ego get in the way of listening to someone else. And you don't have to be clever or a quick thinker to say "you know, I don't really know that, why don't you help me fix out."
You're right, Beau. It is exhausting. After living and working in China - 7 years worth!, trying to help others overcome their China-bashing ways is more of an exercise in frustration than anything. People just don't wanna hear that Chinese people are, in fact, people. At best, I'm told to go live there if I love them so much! You don't wanna hear the worst suggestions...
Nobody can know All The Things. Everybody's ignorant about _something_ . You can't know how much you don't know until you encounter it. A compassionate human being does their best to be aware, but for my part, in those times when I stumble over something insensitive simply because I didn't know, I _hope_ that someone gently takes me aside and sorts me out.
Let's try that.. if you think that 'capitalism' or 'free markets' cause inequality you have been ignorant about the subject. How do you feel now? 😘 PS: yes, I'm serious with that statement.
@@Kaotiqua Interesting reaction, didn't expect that. Did the 'ignorant' came over as insulting? - mea culpa. I honestly am not disingenuous. I really wanted to test if you were open to information that would contradict your worldview.. Isn't that what Beau just talked about? Being ignorant about something and not even accepting arguments..
@@joansparky4439 You are being disingenuous, and you were. You _opened_ with a false dichotomy, wrapped in a strawman, with an appeal-to-hypocrisy chaser. And apparently, you thought no one would notice.
@@Kaotiqua I made an assumption about your opinion of two concepts. I have been repeatedly told that this channel is home to 'strong left leaning people' and in encounters with them I found that most are _"ignorant about something"_ and for me that 'something' is being 'capitalism' and 'free market'. I simply took you up on your words, which were: _"You can't know how much you don't know until you encounter it. A compassionate human being does their best to be aware [..] I hope that someone gently takes me aside and sorts me out."_ Well, here I am, trying to sort you out in case you need sorting.. which is the assumption I made and threw into your face (apologies). I'm honestly trying to find out if you are wrong about 'something' where I do know that most people are wrong about, because I have crawled around in that rabbit hole and found a lot of fascinating and interesting stuff that are contrary to popular belief. I just want to confront you with that.. and while not strictly on topic - the concept of this has been brought up by you, so I thought I test it, giving you the opportunity to realize that EVERYBODY, you inclusive do have this problem and that it is much closer and nearer than you thought.
You are so right Beau. I am from the UK and spent several weeks touring North America last year. I had no issues in Canada or Mexico but in the US I was asked where I was from and when I replied Scotland I was asked how I learnt to speak English so well . This occurred in several states and cities on the west coast and Midwest. It was amusing at first but became tiresome.
Exhausting is exactly 💯 it! I remember my 8th grade year when my Jr.High separated classes by scores on standardized test. I was the only black kid in my class. I spent the entire year knocking down stereotypes. Yes, it was exhausting and I got in several fights because sometimes I just couldn't take it and fighting was the only option in my frustration. I knew it was ignorance for some of them and I would try to educate them and for many of them it was eye opening. Others I knew were racist because after I disproved the stereotypes they would still hang onto whatever their beliefs were and double down on it grabbing onto any exception and making it a 100% fact. Those 3 were the same ones I would end up in fights with. For me because I was stronger than them I did get a little satisfaction out of kicking their asses, usually in gym class. But by the end of the year I was exhausted with the ignorance and found myself falling into my own racism. But it would not last because I loved my Scot/Irish/Native grandma. Since I wasn't ignorant my racism was always temporary. The love of my grandma always brought me back. At my 20th year high school reunion I saw some of these same people. During one of our conversations we went back to out Jr.High days and my efforts to debunk the stereotypes that had been thrown at me. A few of the people said that the things I said stuck with them and changed the way the viewed black people and people in general. At that point I realized my efforts in my early years actually did have some positive results. It just took 20+ years to see them.
Exhausting is a good choice of words. It's always been exhausting to me, and I'm white. Unsurprisingly, Beau has a great take on this. It's important to understand that you can only combat ignorance with information. Information only has value if the person you're trying to provide it to is open to receiving it. So just don't be aggressive or accusatory, and don't try to shame them. Give them something to think about in a manner that won't make them feel defensive, and move on.
Great video. My biggest issue with the average American is that they want to be ignorant. And sadly political folks want an ignorant population because an ignorant population is easy to manipulate.
I was at a house party the other day when one of the host's neighbors started going off (ignorantly, not maliciously) about how trans girls shouldn't be in sports. Both my friend (the host) and I are trans, so I jumped in to argue for trans girls, but my friend was waving at me like nah, I have to live next to this woman. So I let up. Sometimes it's not worth the fight.
I won't correct anyone on their racism or ignorance unless we're good friends or we are already having civil dialogue. Your peace is priceless. Don't let just anyone disturb it.
"There are a lot of people who are both ignorant and racist, and the two are not mutually exclusive." Right there. It's also exhausting constantly trying to determine which is which or if it's both, and your job, kids' education, safe delivery of your child, and life can depend on it.
Black people get tired of educating people about ourselves. People seem not to realize that we are all individuals and can not be lumped into one big pile of behaviors.what one black person does or doesn't do may not apply to me. Biggest problem is that when you do take the time to educate someone half the time they get super defensive and accuse you of calling them racists. They look like you've slapped them. Most of the time it is not worth it. At an interracial wedding a white friend of mine asked why they jumped over a broom at the end. I explained it was a hold over from slavery. It was the way that slaves got married. This is the instance where he looked like I slapped him and he stopped talking to me. For me it was just information tossed over my shoulder as I continued to watch the wedding. P.S. my daughter and I were the only black guests on the bride's side. I didn't feel uncomfortable until that reaction to information. He later asked if he could touch my daughter's hair. She got extremely offended. I don't get offended by that. Individuals, we are all individuals. What is okay with one black person is not okay with all black people.
That is one of the problems of "othering" a whole huge group of people based on a single characteristic. It could be skin color, or eye shape, or even clothing (think of the turban all male Sikhs wear). Once you are "the other" you become 2-dimensional, deprived of all the variety that makes us individuals. Then ignorant people are surprised and sometimes offended at individual, personal responses. A diverse education and exposure to people from many places allows experience to challenge assumptions even before they are made. That keeps ignorance at bay.
Someone, who was a friend of a friend, actually pulled my hair and asked if it was a weave. I didn't want to make a scene, so I just went to the bathroom and cried. The exhaustion is real. I spend so much time, worried about playing into the stereotypes, that I'm more afraid of the me that exists in their minds, than I am of being the me that I know I am.
As a balding older white male I am envious of your hair. My black nieces have great hair. I suspect all of them night SLAP anyone pulling their hair in self defense. 🙂
I don't understand why anybody thinks it's okay to touch, pull, or otherwise mess with somebody else's hair. But then I also don't understand the people who walk up to pregnant women and touch their bellies without permission.
Once again, you nailed it, Beau. It IS exhausting trying to engage with these ignorant people. I feel like I'm at that 50-60% mark and being surrounded by those "lower thans" and it's depressing dealing these folks on a daily basis. I've removed most of them from my circle for my own benefit
And, it's become so, so very important to the GOP that as many Americans remain ignorant and uneducated, as possible. They know the ignorant are far more easily led.
Something you missed sir: As a POC, that was born in the 70's, I can't tell you how many times I didn't correct someone/something in a group situation because it appeared everyone else in the group didn't seem have a problem with it. The last thing you want to do is be the one person that is on the other side of that level of bigotry/racism/ignorance. It can be very scary. (As a younger man I occasionally put myself into that situation, sometimes by accident, sometimes on purpose. Almost never anymore, because of those few times.)
I've encountered this many time. A colleague at work once asked me if all Black people know each other since there's always a polite interaction, a hello, a wave, when people meet. I told her it was just civility and it was a community thing. She was ignorant, not a racist and wanted to know.
I think you hit on something that no one else has mentioned in the comments. The woman wanted to know and asked a question. I went to high school in a very small, very white town and left to attend a large urban liberal arts college. This was the late 70's. I met people from all over the world with different sexual orientations, religious beliefs, political ideas etc. The wonderful thing was you could feel comfortable asking someone why they did what they did. It was accepted and encouraged to ask questions when you didn't understand. I don't feel that is really the case any longer. Asking a question like your friend did just doesn't seem acceptable anymore. You ask a question like that and you are labeled racist or anti gay or whatever.
@@sallysmithson9713 the difference is the friend asked another white friend about it. It’s a lot easier when white people educate white people because then like you said they don’t get to be labeled as racist or whatever And they don’t have to doubt that the Black or other marginalized person is just playing the race card or sensitive. White people who are not ignorant should educate the ignorant ones. It’s not up to Black people or other people of color to suffer and have to teach at the same time. That’s asking for more free labor.
I live in Appalachia in North Carolina. We all smile and wave at each other whether we are driving down the road in our cars, or on the porch; whether we know the people or if they are strangers. I've noticed this in other NC rural areas as well. I think it's kind of a recognition of community. Around here we call it the "Carolina Wave". We don't ask why, it's just a thing.
I have been combating racism and bigotry most of my life. I would question things as a kid and as I got older, I found the answer, then I started correcting people. This country is so think in racism and bigotry that I'm still finding things I have said, or ways that I thought were racist or bigoted. The best way to tell if a person is racist or just ignorant, is to correct them. If they double down and say you are being to sensitive, they meant to be racist. If they apologize and stop saying those things, they were just ignorant about it.
Generally speaking, you're correct, but I've dealt with ignorant people who also refuse to apologize out of stubbornness because they resent being corrected by me. Many people resent being corrected because it makes them feel inadequate. Nobody likes being corrected, especially by someone they don't know. Therefore, it's hard to determine whether someone is racist or ignorant simply from how they react to correction.
I'm glad if you've been successful correcting people. I just hope you're ready in case some people could respond to you...negatively, to put it nicely.
@@insightfulhistorian1861 if a person refuses to see how hurtful their words were, and they continue to be hurtful with those same words, then they intended to be hurtful, and racist and/or bigoted. You can't judge a person by what they did in their past, but you can judge a person by what they refuse to change.
@@ninij9692 I agree, you should absolutely judge a person by what they refuse to change. However, if a person refuses to see how hurtful their words were and continues to use those words, then they are willfully ignorant *and* bigoted. Ignorance is no excuse once the person has been informed their behavior is wrong. They know they're being racist and choose not to care. My point is that willful ignorance and racism are so deeply intertwined that it's almost impossible to distinguish them. You're trying to create this arbitrary distinction between ignorance and deliberate, intentional racism when they are BOTH in fact racism. The vast majority of racism in America stems from ignorance/stupidity regarding race. People have no clue and refuse to learn, and the harmful outcome is the same as committed white supremacy. So your distinction is irrelevant.
I have a weekly call with an old friend who has become more conservative as he grew older, and I find myself correcting more than one thought/statement per call. As exhausting as it may be week to week, it's worth it, because I know I'm (likely) the only person with opposing POVs who has his attention on a regular basis.
Once, a visiting family member told a racist joke. My gut reaction was to say, OMG, that’s racist. But I didn’t want to damage the relationship, so I didn’t say anything. I felt awful, and I decided I had to figure out how to respond. Research shows most people don’t know how to respond effectively. Over the years, I’ve developed an approach that works: I start with asking a curious question. Then, I clarify, and THEN I express my feelings and beliefs. It’s simple but it’s not easy. I’ve put the details with examples in a book called ACE-ing Conflict.
I just ask them to try to explain the point of the "joke" and ask why they think it's funny instead of hurtful. When they try to explain, they usually end up finding out on their own that what they said wasn't very clever at all.
@@mcsmith732 exactly. Being curious about how they see it encourages thought, which they likely haven't given the situation much of previously. It tends to be more effective than telling them they are wrong, which just encourages defensiveness.
@@mcsmith732 Meeting ignorance with ignorance can be quite effective. Saying "I don't get the joke" then asking joker to explain it, usually flips the script.
*When someone feels comfortable being racist around you, it says something very negative About YOU.* I am a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ; I love and serve Him with gladness. And you better believe, despite what some people may WANT to say, not one person is willing to make a foul comment about gay people in my presence because I will shut that shit down QUICK! (curse word used purposely). *I don't try to make racist, homophobic idiots feel comfortable in my presence.* Being around foul idiots like that is not worth preserving. *Bottom Line: if you don't speak up, you are condoning it, period.*
@@dr.braxygilkeycruises1460 Maybe people avoid saying foul comments in your presence, but what do they say when not in your presence? I absolutely do speak up, AFTER opening up the window of communication. This way, they are more willing to hear what I have to say, and in actually listening, hopefully lose interest in saying hurtful things when I'm not around.
Grew up in small northern New England town, you can guess the ethnic diversity.. When I started going to school in Boston, I realized how ignorant I was about the ingrained racist sayings and language I grew up with. Fortunately my mother worked very hard to instill an open minded view of the world I had yet to meet. So grateful for the ethic and acceptance she helped to develop in me at a young age. 💓
Problem is, ain't nobody wants to be involuntarily educated, and many will resent the educator. One needs to actively formulate a question and pursue information before any answer has meaning, and lots of folks question nothing
@@lorenzodicapo6305 It's history is vague and includes "ignore". Not much of a stretch from "not know" to "ignore". But, to agree, I would point out this is why we have the phrase "willful-ignorance". Because so often it is.
@@charleswettish8701 fair enough. Just clearing up etymology because I'm weird. And yes, I suspect that in future, the word will evolve into having a more willful or intentional component to its definition. Thanks
The exhaustion is the reason that it needs to be up to people, who aren’t the target but have the empathy, to do the educating. As exhausting as it may seem to someone who isnt a daily target………imagine how exhausting it must be for someone who is.
Thank you, for sharing this video, Beau. I'm a mixed race man, white, Mexican, Cajun French, Filipino. I'm very Mexican presenting but have encountered other inquiries, such as Chinese, from people. These types of situations like the one spoke of here are indeed very common. Especially when I was growing up having to deal with white children emulating the behavior of their ignorant and many times just flat out racist parents (Maybe you could do a video touching on that subject?). It doesn't help being from the deep south, either. Yes, it very exhausting having to deal with this constantly. Particularly when some people are just rude about it with questions such as, "What ARE you?" As if I'm some object that they've never seen before rather than an actual human being. In these cases, bringing it up to them results in a combative response that makes me out to be the one with the problem for correcting their rude behavior. There's many times where it is like a no win situation and the only way to come out ahead is to simply not engage. It seems the only way the information has a chance of getting through to them is to receive it from a person that looks like them rather than the person that they've othered.
Thank you for this. It IS very exhausting and the marginalized have to learn to deal at a young age and continue throughout their life. Couple that with people that flat out deny it ever happens, tiring.
@@charleswettish8701 Maybe the people who don't want their kids to know the truth about history, or accept other kids who are different in any way? You know, the ones who are banning books?
As a born and raised New Mexican, I can speak some to the exhaustion. Every time I travel, I find someone asking me a ridiculous question that either assumes that New Mexico is Mexico (and those comments usually include ignorance about Mexico as well) or that it is somehow part of Texas. Just that is exhausting.... And that is only when I travel. I can't imagine having to deal with nonsensical ignorance on the daily.
I have two "adopted" families, one Mormon and another Jewish, but I was raised Episcopal, which is pretty much Catholic without the papacy. I've been startled by both the ignorance of my Jewish family about Christianity, and their eager curiosity. I've never felt more grateful for the confirmation (catechism) classes that let me answer their questions definitively. My Mormon family has shown curiosity about the Asian faiths I studied in college. But I'd be at sea about, say, Islam. It's a big ol' world, thank heaven!
Freedom is the responsibility of each of us as individuals to support the freedom of everyone. To do that requires we see each person as an individual.
As a Black man who has Face Racism in Canada 🇨🇦. Regularly. If I have Confronted the people who are trying to Insult me. It would be a Full time job. But I am proud 👏🏿 of myself. Alot of it is Jealousy and Hate
It IS exhausting! As a disabled woman, who is wheelchair dependent, I do have to educate practically everyone I meet. I have to, just to maintain my autonomy. People, strangers, will just grab my chair and start trying to push it, acting as though I should have no choice in the matter.
There is also a lot of ignorance about the word ignorance. Many many people seem to think that the word ignorant is synonymous with rude. I am so glad that you clarify what the word REALLY means.
You are 100% right 😂. I am from Romania and yes half of the people always ask me if Romania is in Rome. I always asked them if it’s possible to fit a country the size of NC and SC combined inside a capital of another country, and if the answer is yes, then I would like an example… They look more confused than before 😂
I once thought it was our responsibility to advocate for ourselves and educate the ignorance, but then I realized just how often I had to give the same lecture on racism. I didn't realize how exhausting it was until I had to do it multiple times a day, especially when I was supposed to be around friends.
Beau, how did you get so smart? You are so right about racism vs ignorance. As a black woman, I've come across both and yes, it makes you tired. Love you!
👋 I'm hyperaware that my ignorance could hurt others, and I keep trying to get educated, but the more I learn the more I get timid about speaking up. The racism is insidious in our society, and I am somewhat isolated, so I have little interaction to learn from. It's beyond, folks is folks no matter where you go. Now, asking questions in order to learn can be scary, because of the unknown about another experience. Mostly, I learn from our kids who are way less ignorant. Thanks Beau.
@@iquestion8493 I am doing fine. Beautiful weather here today with uncharacteristically low humidity. I want to restful enjoy the day maybe sit on the porch for a while, thanks.
I have a relative who would ALWAYS refer to any Asian person as Chinese or, even less accurately as 'Orientals'. I knew they weren't trying to be malicious so tried to explain the differences.. Today they still err but generally changed that behavior...
So many of us have been there. It is exhausting. It is especially annoying when they defend their comments as freedom of speech and accuse you of trying to oppress them. That’s when it becomes less about not knowing and more about their egos and “damn” your feelings.
I thought I was the only person who thought about this exepect I call it ignorance vs predigious. And yes people can grow out of it and accept responsibility
Thank you for this. As a New Yorker (Manhattan)- by birth. & a one time traveler-(35 countries & 46 states) ... These various levels of getting to know & be known by other cultures beyond stereotypes is always a difficult "ice breaker" interaction.
This reminds me of a time I once went on a music themed cruise and I brought a guitar with me to mess around with when no performances were going on. I'd find a quiet spot somewhere while the boat was in port and just play a bit to myself. A couple came up complimented me on how I sounded. We had a nice little conversation and then they asked how long I had been on the boat. I bent down to tie my shoe (they pointed out my shoes were untied) and said I boarded on Sunday when the cruise started. When I looked up they were gone. I was confused for a bit until I realized, that being of Filipino decent they assumed I was one of the crew as a large portion of the crew were Filipino (a lot of questions they asked suddenly made sense). It never dawned on them that I was a passenger and when they realized it they fled. I mentioned it to some friends and they asked if I was mad but I said no. Its not like they were trying to insult me and clearly they felt bad about their mistake but that's all it was - a mistake. I've been on the wrong end of racist comments before and there is a difference between ignorance and racism.
I would point out another argument..."pick your battles!" For most people there's a time and place where they're going to be receptive to criticism, but they'll most likely be otherwise confrontational. Not everyone wants to go around accumulating villains...
Black friends have commented on how exhausting this is. And told me they don't think it's their duty to educate every ignorant white person. Use your white privilege for good. Be a good ally. Don't leave them to carry the entire load alone.
Thank you❤
Thank you!
Great advice, Paige! Thank you.
Yes.
Exactly. I once had a friend tell me that I was the first yt person who ever told her that it's my place as an ally to speak up.
That I had something she didn't.
White privilege.
In the case of the partygoers, it's a pick your battles situation. Decisions people of color have to make every day, all day. 😔
As a black person, you have learned to ( try not to) take it personally. Also in today’s behavior you could be hurt ( killed) ect. And try as you might you can’t teach everyone.
These are scary times. But don't forget this BS is the last gasp of the old world. I believe things will get better. Every time marginalized people make progress there is a backlash. It's not the first or last time it's happened this way. But overall progress marches on.
It's similar to me talking with right wing nut jobs. They're set in their ways and can't entertain actual facts and real ideas. I've given up. And it's only been a few years. The exhaustion of a lifetime of it you have faced, I simply cannot fathom. The human race basically sucks.
@@paigeharrison3909 I think Martin Luther King Jr said something about the Arc of justice bending in the right direction. I agree with you that this is not a new occurrence, but I also think we're standing right on the brink of disaster and I don't know if we can find our way back to safety and sanity. I keep hearing "THIS is not who we are". Obviously it IS who we are, so how do we deal with it. I'm not sure that it's not too late. Sorry to be so negative on a beautiful fall day. Take care.
Some ppl want to remain ignorant...that's where they are comfortable...
@@myraseeger4707 Yeah. And that can go into those two lines. The first about not attributing to malice that which can be explained by ignorance. The second about ignorance at a certain level is indistinguishable from malice.
"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity".
~Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.
One of the worst places for a Black person is in the mind/imagination of a white person.
One of those quotes they don't really teach people in schools.
@@joshuawilliams8252 But really, really should.
Disabled person here. I always have the "There are a lot of people who are not disabled but draw disability." card thrown in my face. Another one when I was young was, "You don't look disabled." There are a lot of nasty things people say to one another. Stop, please.
OMG
Beau I can speak about this from tons of experience. I'm 54-year-old African American man. My first job was at McDonald's We had a guy who did the maintenance who loved to tell racist jokes about black people too black people. One of the older men called him out on it and he acted like his feelings were hurt. I was 16 fast forward to today ( not counting all the years in between that I had to deal with it) young guy at my part-time job every time he sees me walk up instead of saying hello he's starts doing some gangster sign crap "what's up yo yo yo" he'd only been working there short time I pulled him aside one day and I said "I want you to understand what you're doing is ignorant and it's offensive I don't know if you're aware that it's offensive or you just don't care" he told me that's just how him and his boys at school get down. I said one you guys are almost old enough to be my grandkids and two this is a workplace. Now when we see each other at work he says hello I said hello and that's it. But some people don't realize what they're doing is offensive or sometimes they're trying to be funny or sometimes they're actually trying to mock you sometimes it's hard to tell which one it is.
They know, but because our black youth give them a pass, they think they are cool with you. If they truly respected us as Black Americans, they would empathize with what we've endured, and make a point not to remind of us if the negativity surrounding certain things.
@@Smartee_pants Well said
@@rinehardt6837 - I speak not from observation, but experience. Growing up where I did and certain jobs as an adult, I relate to what you were saying. The sad thing is, they listen to us to defend, not for clarification as to how we've been made to feel.
Good grief.
Two different examples, I think: The first one was a grade-A d---bag who played power games - complain, or sock him in the face, and you are the trouble maker, or even worse, an Angry Black Man. I know it's mean of me, but I wouldn't mind if that guy is stuck working in that McDonalds to this very day.
The second one - could be being a jerk on purpose, but I'm absolutely certain, it could also be genuine stupid.
I had a young boy (13 or 14) in a math class once who used the n-word and was honestly shocked when I told him I'd kick him out for good if I heard that word from him again. Because: "but those people live in my street and they call each other that all the time!"
And yep, that was exactly the creature who didn't understand the difference. Which I know because he also told me that "of course girls aren't good in math" and, after me giving him a good long look, adding that he was okay with me teaching a donor-sponsored class _where he got free math tutoring_ .
My regret to this day is that I didn't say "okay, fine, if boys are better in math, then you and the other two boys here (who didn't protest!) don't need this class anymore, thx bye".
@@Smartee_pants Not so sure that they know. I've taught in schools for a while (Germany, not USA) and I've learned not to put a limit to how dumb potentially intelligent people can be. A lot of examples, sadly, had to do with what teenage boys telling each other about what's okay to do/say to girls. Given those Yale pledges in 2006 chanting "No means yes, yes means ..." , it's probably about the same in the US.
Parallel problem: girls won't protest because they learn from experience that they'll only get more trouble, and you end up with young men who think this sort of BS is okay.
Ignorance is opinion without fact. Stupidity is opinion that denies fact. You can help the "ignorant". There's no hope for the "stupid".
This needs to be on a t-shirt.😁
You should put that on a shirt. Excellent!
Like the bumper sticker says " I'm fat, you're ugly; I can go on a diet". You can fix ignorance, there's no fixin' stupidity!!!!
You can’t fix stupid
Stupid fixes itself eventually...
As a Native American mixed white person... I'm exhausted with Indian giver being used in school to steal my things by asking if they can look at something... I'm exhausted with being called an ignorant savage, and not being allowed to be angry because that proves I'm savage to ignorant a holes.
I'm jealous of Asian people for being called smart and good at math, and that they're allowed to be angry about their harmful stereotypes.
Its exhausting.
P.s. Asian people. I'm smart and good at math. 😂Sorry.
I wish we were all treated by the content of our character.
Have not been labeled the 'Indian giver' connotation ever, but grade school kids did use the adults parroting of 'red skin' a few times. Like they could know this at that age unless told by their parents. That was ignorance for sure not so much for them, but for their parents saying such a thing. Passed down, generation to generation. Sad.
The whole "Indian giver" term is filthy rich coming from white folks given... Basically the entire history of the US. Sorry you have to deal with this bullshit.
Sorry you have to deal with sht kids in a sht school.
Totally agree.
When first came to Arkansas from Belize I didn't know what racism was. I was ignorant of what was happening, looking back at was openly being said and done now those same people are the ones with trump signs in yards.
Truth
Welcome..! 🙂 After living in several American cities and meeting lots of people from other countries, I apologize for the ignorant crap that was aimed at you. ☮️
I'm in Arkansas, grew up here. Trust me, most of the people are kind here. Don't let a few idiots discourage you.
Yes!
@@goldenhawk352,
Bubba, your reading comprehension skills are lacking. The person said things that were said and done (to them) by certain people are the ones that ended up with TRUMP signs in their yards. They weren't talking about everyone in Arkansas or even ALL of the stupid people in Arkansas, just the ones that were ugly to them when they first arrived from Belize.
My White coworker and I got to know each other through books. We’d exchange books and eventually started taking trips to the library on lunch break.
I’m an Afro wearing Black woman from the “hood” and he’s a tie and wire framed glasses wearing White man from Pleasantville, but we got along great and liked the same authors.
One day I was leaving work and he asked if I wanted a ride. He drove me home and when we were going down my block, he said “Well, that’s not so bad. I thought I’d be robbed or shot”.
At first I was a bit offended but he really didn’t mean to be racist. When the faces on the street turned Black, he got nervous because in his mind, Black = danger.
I didn’t say anything. I let him find out on his own because he’d drive me home everyday without a single incident.
Sometimes experience is the best teacher.😊
Imagine how exhausting it is to get pulled over for nothing several times a month. People watch videos and ask why the driver is so upset.." he only making it worse". It's exhausting when you're just trying to get home from work late at night.
Yesterday a neighbour came by to let my husband know that he'd closed our car door early that morning. While we were chatting he brought up that someone had gotten angry at him for using an offensive word that starts with "n" and he didn't understand why because it never used to be offensive. I explained to him that it's always been offensive and once you know that, it's your responsibility to behave accordingly.
To my surprise, he agreed.
Just goes to show that it's good to say something. You never know when you'll make a difference. ✌️😎🍀
George Carlin said words are just words, it's the context!!
Dave Chappelle says the N word in most of the tic toc's I've seen.
He's black so it's ok I presume, but, not right for me to say it, I'm white.
Where do you and your neighbor live? Under a set of rocks?
Hopefully he will do this🤔🤔1. think before he speaks ..
2..Adopt this following philosophy: when you know better..do better. Simply stop using those offensive words..
Please tell me he didn't say
"Nucklear" ?!?!
My father is Korean. I had that damned "Chinese or Japanese?" conversation for the first time at the age of six in the A&P candy aisle. It sure as shit wasn't the last.
😥 Damn... Sorry on behalf of ignorant people, especially those willfully so. VOTE.gov helps Register Voters and confirm if You were Purged.
I know next to nothing about Asia, but I still know that's ignorant. It's like asking a European "Oh are you English or German?" "I'm French." "Is that more like England or Germany?"
It'd be even funnier if they decided French was like German because they both don't speak English. Or that France was occupied by Germany in WWII.
P.S. I do know enough not to accuse a Korean of being either Chinese or Japanese. They have a whole cultural thing about that. :)
@@richardryley3660 Oh, so you are American? Are you from Peru or from Colombia?
Ah, US. So ... is that more like Peru or Colombia?
@@Julia-lk8jn or Canada
Not gona lie, it is extremely fucking tiring to explain to people that no, I don't get free money from the government just because I'm enrolled in a Native American Nation. My Nation has made a lot of good business decisions and could afford to give a small scholarship for people going to college and to help older people get their prescriptions filled. But that doesn't mean I, as an individual, get free money from the US government. And I also have to pay taxes just like everyone else.
Shit you should get free money smh. That’s the very least the fed government could do. Not the topic at hand but just saying.
@Zak
Straight up had a co worker tell me that Native Americans are all rich cuz casinos !
He claimed there's no poor NA. i countered his claim showing pix of the rez w no running water no electrical. He claimed it is by choice.
OMG jfc.
Zak: You needed to add the universal adjective to convey your point?
My native mix cousins understand and feel your frustrations better than I. ☮️
It’s become quite clear that “ either you don’t know or you don’t care, but the net result is that same” I’ll happily share information , but it’s also way too common for people to claim it’s not fact unless they do “the research” themselves.
-Now we’re in “ Leading the horse to water “ territory.
I’m a white male. I’m pansexual, and I make it a point to say something when I feel it can leave an impact.
At my first job, about 20 years ago, I had to deal with a “good ol country boy” spouting all kinds of homophobia. He was the definition of ignorance is bliss. And one day I just interrupted him and said “hey Tim, do you know I’m bisexual?” (I didn’t wanna explain gender identity to him as well)
“What… what do you mean?”
“It means I like guys, and I like girls. So not all gay people are like what you think.”
I left him with his thoughts, because I could tell my the long silence he would never have suspected I could have been anything besides straight.
We never conversed any more about it, but the homophobia stopped. So even if you can’t educate everyone, it’s worth taking the time when you can.
"Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”
― Mark Twain.
Never ever will this get old. My Man, Mr. Clemens. A wonderful example when people argue about how times shaped people's opinions. It was too cool to be a racist back then and he wasn't. Travel, he said the most wonderful things about doing so, as well.
One of my favorites. I also like this Abraham Lincoln quote - Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.
I just don't talk to Democrats anymore. Life is good
Oppressed people don't always want to stand up to it because it makes life more complicated for them. You can't assume everyone is going to react the same to racist comments or actions.
We get tired of explaining shit all of the time. It's not my job to raise people's kids.
@@yasuke9317 I get tired of it too
Sometimes it’s not worth the mental and physical energy, it’s better to just move on.
On the other hand, I'm pretty sure Lizzo is trolling the racists by playing what she claims is James Madison's crystal flute while twerking at her concerts. The racists are apparently too ignorant to realize they are being trolled, and Lizzo is getting tons of free publicity! She's a lot smarter than I thought she was.
Plus, it can be dangerous. If you're the only person in a crowd targeted by a bigoted comment that everyone else seems cool with, you have no guarantees that the rest of the crowd will side with you if you stand up about it.
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." -George Carlin.
I really miss him every day.
Sufficiently advanced ignorance is indistinguishable from racism.
That's pretty brilliant 😊💪💪
That makes no sense.
@@zen-Tii to me, it makes sense both by itself and for being a witty paraphrase of a quite famous quote...😅
@@zen-Tii OP is doing a riff. And it is indeed...brilliant.
You win the internet today!!
As an Indigenous person I’d have to say this. It is exhausting. But as for why his friend was annoyed when asked: if my white friend didn’t say anything to the ignorant racist and then asked me why I didn’t - I’d be more annoyed with the friend who didn’t do the education but did expect me too.
Yep. It should have been "I didnt want to say anything because I wasn't sure you would want me to at that time. Since you weren't saying anything."
Not "Why didn't you say anything" which makes it seem like it would be solely their responsibility to say anything rather than you trying to respect their potential feelings.
Bingo! In order to be granted humanity, I have to be the absolute best, I'm discriminated against, I work 2x as hard just to get half of the credit, accolades and money as a yt & I'm supposed to be responsible for teaching every ignorant person & if I don't, then I have to report to you?! Definitely don't need friends/acquaintances like this
@@LC-sc3en Exactly, with a follow on of "so I know for the future, would it be okay if I said something?" or words to that effect.
Great point!
Why he was irritated? LOL think about it. Guy says something wrong. Black guy corrects him. What happens? Well usually they clutch their pearls gasp and cause a commotion claiming they honestly didn't mean harm, thus turning it back on the angry black man. That's why he didn't say anything. But then his friend questioning his actions again while innocent, is now suggesting the black man again made the wrong decision. I think if he would have waited longer to ask, he could have had more explanation. There's layers and unfortunately the white friend did want to know. sometimes it's hard to explain in detail.
Beau as an immigrant, I think you 10000% nailed it. Literally I get asked every single day about my accent and have to explain that I’m from the Caribbean but not Jamaica. I’m from a Caribbean island called Dominica 🇩🇲 🇩🇲 but it’s not the DR. When you have to give the same
speech 10 times a day and explain your existence it’s more than exhausting, it’s a little sad.
I did not know that myself. And i am an educated person. Thanks for your post.
Beau, it is beyond exhausting. Trying to enlighten the ignorant is also soul destroying.
Thank you
It absolutely is energy-draining. When you're feeling worn down by it, just know you're not alone in that. We're everywhere, and are always extending all the Love & Light imaginable. ✌🏼💚 Take it when you need it. 🥰
Sad thing is that everyone thinks they are the enlightened one. So everyone is exhausted. Humility would make this all go away. We are ALL ignorant.
Speaking on behalf of the percentage of those who have bummed you out that only later (and to their horror) realized you were right: Thank you.
A huge chunk of us are taught about the world from within isolated, superstitious communities. One of the few ways we are lifted out of that poisonous mindset are through conversations with the brave and the patient, like yourself.
It shouldn't be necessary for you to educate your countrymen, but if it's any consolation I can affirm that the effort to educate works eventually on many of us, even if we get embarassed and defensive when initially confronted about it.
@@WYCD 🎯
How did I know I was being indoctrinated to be a racist? When I knew lots of racist jokes, and my friends knew I would find a racist joke funny. Sobering, and heartbreaking realization...🔍
Most of the world's evil spawns from ignorance. On the other hand, educated people who aren't willing to stand up to evil just end up enabling it.
"We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people".
~Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
and then you have youtube which censors those with irrefutable talking points
Or actually exploiting it.
We are all born ignorant. He said it best when he said ignorance is a tool used by evil racists to control ignorant racists
The worst in my opinion
I’ve tried educating someone that I know is not racist after they posted a “joke” involving a black person and an ape. I prefaced my comment by saying that I knew he wasn’t racist and I didn’t think he knew, but it was deeply rooted in racism. Because it was meant as a joke, with no malicious intent, he defended his ignorance and he and several of his white friends proceeded to tell the black woman what was racist and accused me of “making it about race”.
Willful ignorance can’t be educated. So, yes, it’s exhausting trying to educate the ignorant because you never know when they’ll want to bask in their ignorance and attack you.
I am glad you tried because if another person tries it might stick plus your effort sometimes works when a person has had time to sleep on it.
I had an experience a few years ago that made me realize how ignorant I am. I worked at a big box store, and while on my break, a co- worker ( who happened to be black) was saying that he had forgotten his sunblock. I was curious and asked him if sunburn happened to black people too. In my ignorance, I assumed that the melanin in his skin would protect him better than the melanin in mine. He rolled up his sleeve, and he had just as much of a farmer’s tan as I did. My point is …. one should be comfortable enough to address their own ignorance and ask questions. In my view , purely racist people are afraid to find out that we are beings that are very similar no matter the color of our skin. I made sure I had sunblock with me after that, because sunburn sucks for everyone. I was glad he was comfortable enough to teach me.
I suffered a traumatic spinal cord injury at the age of 21. One day I was a good 6'4" athlete and the next I was in a wheelchair. I am now 47 years post injury. My wife and I have two wonderful young boys who are now men. You hit the nail on the head about becoming overwhelmed by ignorance. Over my 47 years I have become tired of people telling me how inspirational I am, or they pat me on the head telling me how nice it is you were able to adopt and have two great kids. We did not adopt. This assumption about people not being able to have kids after a SCI is not true. This is just a few instances of the daily ignorance thrown my way. Thanks Beau for this presentation on ignorance. It is out there everywhere we turn these days. I think it is worse now every though people have the answers to most questions at their finger tips. Keep up the great work.
Thank you for your post. You have educated me.
I have to admit I think it's weird people would just assume you adopted.
OMG - "PAT ME ON THE HEAD"...wow...makes me want to help you stand or watch you stand and "pat him/her on the head say "I'm sorry your'e ignorant. Bless your heart"
Thanks Marty. You're absolutely right it is exhausting.. I am so tired of going through a store with my sunglasses and white cane while hearing you're doing an amazing job. I I've been blind for half of my life and all I've done is gained some of my independence back. In those cases I usually say "you too" RUclips" , and just keep going. Don't know how they feel about it don't know if it goes over the head or whatever but at least it gives me a little satisfaction. Small victories I guess. Hope you find ways to achieve those victories as well. Take care.
@@demonicusa.k.a.theblindguy3929 When I hear people say they cannot do something a traumatic or acquired disability gives a simple choice, live or die. It is so simple in its pain and or in its short-term suffering. I did not get any smarter after my early onset of paraplegic. Although I know I never would have gone on to earn an Undergrad and Masters degree from a Big Ten University. After I pulverized my spinal cord I had to make that simple choice. Unlike many, I succeeded because of my family and from the moment I landed in the Emergency Room every Doctor, Nurse or Therapist really wanted to see me not only live but excel. Again, I came from a very large family and all of them did something to make my life one worth living. All the best out there amongst the non-disabled. Never forget that on your worst day you are operating at a much higher level of intelligence and with more sensory feedback than 99% of the able bodied population. All the best as you age with a disability. It was smooth running until I hit 65. It is all uphill from here. Be well.
The average American is exhausting. 😁
A very good observation.
🙂👋🏼
Hi Dean 👋 !
@@briansmutti good morning 👋🙂 !!
And remember, as Beau pointed out, that if the average is exhausting, it means that statistically half of the population is worse than that 😅
As an atheist I can relate to it being tiring to correct the misconceptions and stereotypes. When I stopped believing god(s) I didn't know the word atheist. I knew there were other religions and it being 20 years since I'm sure I was aware that some people probably didn't believe, but when I told a friend and he said I was an atheist I had to ask what an atheist was. I do remember him telling me and me asking. It was novel to me back then and I didn't have a problem telling people but I didn't go around proselytizing
20 years on none of my current co-workers know. I don't tell people unless I'm asked directly because I got tired of defending myself. And I say myself instead of my lack of belief because of the stereotypes. A few of the stereotypes: Atheists are Satanists (We don believe in Satan either). Atheists lack good judgement (We looked at the lack of any empirical evidence and concluded that we shouldn't believe in something for which there is no evidence. If that is lack of good judgement then I can't help you.). Atheists are evil because there are no consequences. (This comes from the perception that we won't go to heaven I think. Probably most atheists don't believe in an afterlife. So the only time that matters is our time on earth. If we treat people right then our limited time in this life will be better. If we do bad things our limited time here will be wasted. Meanwhile a Christian serial killer can ask Jesus for forgiveness of his sins and will receive the reward of entry into heaven. So I ask, who can do bad things because there are no consequences for their actions.). Atheists are just looking for attention. (Atheists are the ones going door to door trying to convert new members. Also, if I was seeking attention I would be telling all my co-workers and I'm. I don't want anyone to know at this point. I can hide behind internet anonymity here in the comments and the people here have no direct impact on my life.)
If my employer knew I was atheist I would worry that everything I did was questioned because of their biased perception of an atheist's judgement and morals. Matt was late because he is atheist. Matt did this wrong because he is atheist. Matt took longer to complete this task because he is atheists. My errors and faults stick in their mind because they associated it with my lack of faith in unprovable gods. And because it sticks in their mind I get worse reviews, lower raises, I'm more likely to be laid off, and worse assignments.
The biggest difference in my minority status is that I can hide behind others perception that I am of their religious belief, while someone that is black, hispanic, asian or of other ethnic origins wear their minority status on their face and cannot hide it.
Matt, you are a sweet, thoughtful person, and I appreciate your putting this into words so eloquently. Sorry you have to put up with religious bigotry in a work situation.
Karma is a strong belief of this agnostic, and I suspect of your atheism.
So much truth in these words. Personally, I didn't so much 'stop believing' as I realized that I was trying to force belief in something for which there was no evidence or inkling of truth. After extensively researching multiple religions, I found that the commonality amongst them all was a combination of control of the masses, unquestioned obedience, and conformity designed to perpetuate the status quo. Religions are no more than altered interpretations of spirituality. As spiritualty is a combination of moral understandings and life lessons experienced, no one individual can adequately or accurately interpret someone else's religious quandries, questions, or trajectory.
@@DarqEagle56 yup, it's like a mental choke chain folks put on and try not to get hurt. . .
You have ESSENTIALLY summed up the "ethnic minority experience" in this nation that we have been TRYING to convey for generations. . .👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💯🔥
In the military I broke bread with people from all walks of life. I learned so much about others culture and I enjoyed every minute Treat others how you want to be treated and this world will be great
Your military experience seems to have had a positive impact on you and your thinking about racism. Fantastic.
That isn't what happens for everyone. Some people feel that they aren't racist or aren't ignorant about racism because they are on what they believe are good terms with their fellow soldiers of other races OR because they are on good working terms and socially friendly with co-workers from other races OR because they have a "friend" who is from another race. Yet, they often are either still ignorant, still racist, or both. The difference I see is that when a person is on good terms with a co-worker, fellow soldier, or friend who is from another race, do the positive ideas the person has about their co-worker or friend extend to other people of the same race. OR, are they only on good terms with their co-worker or friend, but believe that the negative stereotypes associated with that race still apply to everyone other than their co-worker or friend? If the latter, then they could be on good terms with hundreds or co-workers or friends from another racist and they would still be racist.
Machele Arthur. i'm not religious but Amen to that comment.
i walked away from catholicism because all the catholics i knew didn't follow that simple rule.
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is a biblical concept spoken by Jesus in Luke 6:31 and Matthew 7:12; it is commonly referred to as the "Golden Rule."
What you stated about treating others the way you want to be treated is known as The Golden Rule and is found in almost every religion. I applaud you. Nowadays, we have the Platinum Rule: Treat others as they wish to be treated, not how you wish to be treated. This could involve some cultural aspect, such as learning what they can and cannot eat and acting accordingly, e.g. don’t invite someone who can’t eat pork to a pig roast. Don’t offer a beer to someone whose religion or culture forbids alcohol. The onus is on us to ask and/ or do some research. And it’s fun!
Although I believe _The Golden Rule_ comes from a good place, there is a huge problem with it; we are all individuals and treating everyone the same way is not going to work for a lot of people. Not everyone would feel good if I treated them all the way I like being treated, and I definitely would not appreciate people treating me the same way some of them prefer to be treated.
So I try to treat others in a way that feels good to them. Even that method doesn't always work, but it works a lot more often than treating people all the way I want to be treated. It takes a little more thoughtfulness, but it's really not very difficult overall. Sometimes there is a tough nut to crack, but most times it's pretty easy if we just pay attention to the individual and what they like.
And people like that. We know when someone else cares, and that makes it easier to see things as mistakes, rather than take them personal, or make unfair assumptions.
@@worldcitizenra you are absolutely right. I was lucky to meet some amazing people. Not everyone can unlearn what they're taught at a young age
What bothers me the most about the right in this country is I feel they have intentionally chosen ignorance. They've chosen to NOT know the actual facts. That's been the most baffling part about friends and family. They're intentionally choosing not to be educated. It's like nothing I've seen in my 50+ years.
The reality is, they’re showing you who they have always been. You are not alone.
I agree wholeheartedly.
I'm a disabled woman(I was disabled at birth) and just trying to educate people who make ignorant comments about disabilities is overwhelming at times. I've heard it all:
Disabled people all have learning disabilities
(nope, I graduated from an accredited college's accelerated learning program and earned my Creative writing BFA with a 3.11 GPA.
Disabled people can't do what "normal" people can do.
(I'm a wife, a mom, I hike, I cook, I garden, I graduate college, I've had poems and articles I wrote, published, etc. etc. blah blah blah...)
"Being in a wheelchair means you can't walk at all"
(false some people only need it sometimes: I only need my wheelchair on really bad days, On hard days I can walk short distances, on good days I can walk with my cane/walker, on great days I can walk and people have no clue I'm disabled.)
As for how this tie into ignorance and racism:
As a disability and sexual health advocate, I've learned:
people who are disabled don't get the same level of sexual health care that able-bodied people receive.
And people of other races get an even lower level than that.
If you add in being female the level of care goes down even further.
Please educate yourselves. If you need to ask people as Beau said pull them aside and ask/correct people.
Once you educate yourself fully then you can pull someone aside and educate them if they're being ignorant. Just be sure YOU know what you're telling them is correct first.
As a life long Half Breed Pagan lesbian, I feel this video. DEEPLY
OMG. If you went vegan you would have just about all the hate mongers covered. 😁
@@simplethings3730 Might be worth it to watch their heads explode.
OMG .!! I bow to your lack of subtlety.🙂 VOTE.gov helps Register Voters and confirm if You were Purged.
@@bobclarke2242 thank you!
As a black man myself. I think I understand where your friend coming from. It's tiring trying to educate ignorant people especially since most people ignorant people don't willingly want to educate themselves.
When someone's belief is based on ignorance, they are often really reluctant to address it. It's a form of laziness and lack of interest in something outside their usual world. These people are not malicious, but the end result is the same: false information is let go by and so is perpetuated.
You wanna talk about ignorance, I was in a check out line at the local grocery store. It was right after hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico and this ,person asks "Why should WE help those Mexicans in Puerto Rico?"
I almost died laughing as did some of the other customers, her significant other explained that PR WAS part of the United States, then told her to "shut up."
Yep. I get real tired of explaining things to people. It can also be dangerous to call people out at a party. I don't know if I'll be lynched or lauded for my doing so. I'm sure that guy thought about getting home safely that night especially if someone like that was there. That's a thing too because its happened and continues to happen.
Also in regards to it being a party, I’m sure it’s also hard to be considered “fun” if you have to be their teacher all the time.
When I was a freshman in college, I curled my hair for an event. It came out far curlier than I intended and I remarked to my east coast roomie, “I look like a pickaninnie!” This was a term my mom used all the time when her hair did the same thing. The look on my roomie’s face told me everything. I never used the term again, especially as she also informed me of the origin of the term. It made me take a fresh look at the attitudes I grew up with and reject many of the old terms.
As a curly-haired white girl...yikes!
I understand you didn't know any better because you were used to that term being used, but I'd have never thought to call myself (or anyone else of any race!) by that term.
I have never even heard that term…what is it?
@@davidradtke160 It is a derogatory term for a small black child. It was also spelled picaninny. Think "Buckwheat" from The Little Rascals cartoon. I suggest you look it up for more information so you can see why I was so horrified that I had used that term so liberally as a child, learning from my mother.
@@sandpiperr Yeah...the more I learn about that term the more horrified I became. It's similar to the cringe I feel remembering how my dad would call the Mexican migrant workers "wetbacks", even though they were all carrying the proper documentation as part of a now defunct workers program.
I have been called out many, many times for my ignorance. When I would be called ignorant, I would ask the person to educate me on my own ignorance.
Handling the situation this way allowed me to learn a lot about the side of American culture I was never exposed to. Dont assume anything, be curious and have a discussion.
My mother always told me, "knowledge replaces fear" and in my 68 years, she was right!
What a smart mother you have!
OT: I wonder how you would react to knowledge about how economics work and what that would do to your perception of the term 'capitalism' or 'free market'.. Most people I meet on here don't react well to knowledge. They stick with their beliefs and that's that.
@@joansparky4439 Bruh, you're commenting on a heavily left leaning channel. We're all well aware of the shortcomings of the free market here.
@@aviewer9516 thank you, she WAS smart. I miss her wisdom, but she taught me well as a child. ❤️
@@a2pabmb2 That is exactly the point I'm trying to make mate. Your knowledge on the 'free market' is flawed and false.
I'm trying to tell you leftists (is that OK, or shall I use another term?) that you have been fallen for a lie when you blame the free market for things that is not the fault of the free market, but the opposite - the unfree market. Markets on which supply and demand are NOT free to adjust to each other.
And no, the 'free' in free market does not stand for 'free from rules'. That's a lie. Markets without rules do not exist - or where do you think does 'private property' or 'personal freedom' come from, if not from rules that are being enforced? So yeah, your view of 'free markets' is not correct.
Here is a puzzler for you - free markets trend towards ZERO profits for all involved. Have you ever heard a free market advocate tell you that he likes NO profits? I haven't.
What everybody calls a free market isn't one (we can check and see if supply is able to freely adjust to demand to decide if it is a free or unfree market).
This is what I want YOU to think about.
Questioning your knowledge, your awareness of what you think a free market is.
As a Chinese immigrant I changed my first name to something in English because most Americans white or otherwise couldn’t be bothered to try pronouncing my single-syllable Chinese first name. Never-mind when it comes to our culture.
I hear you. I had a co-worker whom we called "Nick" for years... YEARS! Suddenly, it seemed to us, he wanted to be called by his real name. Apparently, when he went to university, his classmates renamed him "Nick" because they had difficulty with his easy-to-pronounce two-syllable name. I was shocked that this happens. I'm so glad he stood up for himself and took his name back.
Welcome friend. I'm 65 and white, growing up in Idaho most of my friends were Indians,as an adult some of my best friends were Mexican-Americans. It never occurred to me to view them as different than me, I just gravitated to people who are kind.
So can you tell us your name?
@@Bayard1503 Si.
It's amazing how easy it becomes to pronounce unfamiliar names decently, if not perfectly, once one begins interacting with people in the group at issue. Applies to any two groups, but seems particularly applicable to White folk and Chinese folk, and for that matter, White folk and many Asian groups.
Real story: a group of children, one black, were playing in a white neighborhood on the street, when a woman came along, asking one of the mothers verbatim "He is so cute where have you got that one from?" The mother answered: "I made him myself." That woman had a well kept nice white picket fence inside her mind.
Excellent comeback. 😊👍
My wife deals with this all the time. She's Hispanic, our children look like me, but not much like her. She's got some great comebacks.
@@jamesowensii2562 my Ghanian friend always replied "Oh, Gad accidentally left that one in the oven too long." or "Yeah, so much white bread around here, someone has to be full corn." XD She had some brutal replies.
That reminds me of a story my girlfriend told. She is white and was married to a black man and they produced 2 beautiful biracial girls. Of course the girl's skin is much darker than their mother's. One day, when the girls were little, she took them to a park and a white woman came up to her and said "They're so cute. Where did you get them from?" My girlfriend calmly said "My womb". The woman looked embarrassed and changed the subject. It's funny how people just make assumptions.
'They had a special offer on: buy a white kid, get 40% off a black one'. Then see if '40% off' sinks in.
I'm not black but as a transgender woman I can 1000% confirm what you said. Its EXHAUSTING educating ignorant people all the time. I'm sure its tenfold for someone who isnt white.
You've made so many people better at human-ing. Thank you so much!
Beau just really explained what it means to be a day to day ally in action.
The ignorant people I've met while in the military was a staggering eye opener! The good part was that most of them were enlightened!
I experienced someone having a "moment " when I let one of my platoon mates borrow a bathing suit. She asked why would I let someone black (ebony black and from Jamaica) wear my clothing. I told her that I had zero problem with it. Why did it matter to her?
This whitey from New England and a black friend from Watts, CA Laughed a LOT at our selves as we helped cure each other's Ignorance. 🙂
VOTE.gov helps Register Voters and confirm if You were Purged.
I saw it happen thousands of times during my service and especially overseas. Probably why I stayed in so long.
@@jazzman. same here. I was then pretty frustrated after the end of my service noticing the ignorance working the communities I later loved in. I did notice though that a lot of neighbors listened to veterans. Our experiences are unique and different than theirs.
In the service it comes as a double-edged sword.
Because a lot of people come in with that ignorant baggage and then it gets shattered slowly but diligently over time.
Some folks come in knowing no better, thinking no better, acting no better, but eventually they come to a situation where they have to correct themselves. Then there are the situations where they HAVE to come to an abrupt correction via the chain of command or the fellow service member bustin' a head open to teach them different.
There are still times where many service members will leave and still hold some of those ignorant stereotypes but after being reminded how those people they hold stereotypes against have also walked beside them and held them up in situations that your average civilian of THEIR ilk would fall apart, cry and run away from.
THANKFULLY, it does teach a LOT of them but unfortunately when they leave the service, they go right back to the information black holes they were raised in.
So cool Reverend Ed Trevor's talked about Beau and Rule 303. I am not religious, but this preacher totally gets God. And he preaches like a progressive. And I am so glad he gave a shout out to Beau.
you would not believe how often people make the back and forth trip between Rev Trevors and Beau ::laughing:: many have found the Rev through Beau, myself included. so welcome to the community. both are great at seeing things from a different prospective.
I agree. If I come back to Christianity, it will be because of someone like him. He actually preaches the messages I learned as a child.
@@flor9389 the big thing is though Rev Trevors doesnt care what religion you are. he cares about your heart. i think at least half of us are religions other then christian. Im pagan and god knows we have a ton of athiests
@@nevannarence6542 I’m a mishmash. I’m married to a pagan witch (not Wiccan). I was raised Christian until confirmation age when my parents thought it was a good idea for me to take my own path. I flirted with Catholicism for a while (engagement) then went to a small Methodist church led by a closeted gay man. Then my ex got the church in the divorce and I married my current spouse. When I lost what would’ve been a miracle baby, my faith went with it. I’ve kicked around since then trying to find it.
Meh, I've seen him talking/preaching against 'wokeism', he still seems to be in the camp that thinks minorities would be better off if they didn't complain so much 😕
King of the Hill is criminally underrated. Treads such a fine line of highlighting ignorance and stereotypes without whacking you over the head with it.
It ribs ignorants constantly. 🙂
I think the show's genius was keeping half the viewers unaware that the characters were a parody while the other viewers (with opposing political views) thought it was hilarious to see those same folks making asses of themselves. A fine line indeed.
Boomhauer is a Texas Ranger.
The social commentary was a decade or two ahead of its time, for sure. I love when Hank's actually-psycho-racist dad unexpectedly, immediately greets and recognizes Kahn's family as Laotian.
@@shawnr771 Yes, a famously racist lwa enforcement group.
Ever notice that the most “patriotic” people you know have probably never left town?
I was raised up in the south, in the 70’s, as an only child to a divorced Jewish mother. Safe to say, I felt I was about as close to being black as a white person can get. I had lots of non white friends, and I paid a pretty hefty price for that from my racist white friends.
To me, ignorant people are often poor, and often afraid. The people who aren’t poor and afraid are the worst racists of all. They are just bigoted. But I have hope, as each generation comes along, that the bigotry and racism will fade away, along with the people who seem hell bent on keeping it alive.
During the BLM Protests, the exhaustion of being expected to educate the ignorant came up on several late night comedian's shows. Wish we could all get to know each other better, share out family's cultural heritages and have more things to enjoy and broaden our viewpoints. 💙🇺🇸🌊🌊🌊
I have spent quite a bit of time trying explain this. I have met people that were labeled as racist and after speaking with them realized they were ignorant. Having dealt with racist people helped me to understand the nuances. I feel that people are too quick to judge and dismiss. We all have more in common than we know. I appreciate you Brother!
Nope. They are both. Ignorant and racist. You just want to pretend.
“To quick to judge and dismiss”. Thank you, I was looking for those words in a discussion this morning. 👍
@@paperboy371 You're welcome 🎯
My mom says she is not racist BUT thinks that other races should stick with "their own kind". There's some battles you can't win.😁
To me, it’s usually the people that throw the term racist around all the time that are the ignorant ones.
We should stop treating ignorant like a derogatory term. We are all ignorant about something. Addressing it shouldnt start a conflict, it should be a positive thing. Heard a guy once say "i change my mind as fast as possible because it sucks to be wrong so i want to just get it over with"
If the ignorance is willful, then in that instance, if should be derogatory. Because a choice to not pursue, or to reject, knowledge was made.
As I was going to say in response to another reply, that's the difference between ignorance and stupidity. I've had people argue that it's the other was around, but to me, ignorance is simply a lack of knowledge. You can learn. Stupidity means you are too dumb to think. You have to insist you are are right even when you're just guessing, or repeating something someone.told you..
It's not even a matter of intelligence. You can be a genius and still let your ego get in the way of listening to someone else. And you don't have to be clever or a quick thinker to say "you know, I don't really know that, why don't you help me fix out."
You're right, Beau. It is exhausting. After living and working in China - 7 years worth!, trying to help others overcome their China-bashing ways is more of an exercise in frustration than anything. People just don't wanna hear that Chinese people are, in fact, people. At best, I'm told to go live there if I love them so much! You don't wanna hear the worst suggestions...
Nobody can know All The Things. Everybody's ignorant about _something_ . You can't know how much you don't know until you encounter it. A compassionate human being does their best to be aware, but for my part, in those times when I stumble over something insensitive simply because I didn't know, I _hope_ that someone gently takes me aside and sorts me out.
Let's try that.. if you think that 'capitalism' or 'free markets' cause inequality you have been ignorant about the subject. How do you feel now?
😘
PS: yes, I'm serious with that statement.
@@joansparky4439 Well, bless your heart, sweety... Why _ever_ would I think you were being disingenuous? Perish the thought! 🥰
@@Kaotiqua Interesting reaction, didn't expect that. Did the 'ignorant' came over as insulting? - mea culpa.
I honestly am not disingenuous. I really wanted to test if you were open to information that would contradict your worldview.. Isn't that what Beau just talked about? Being ignorant about something and not even accepting arguments..
@@joansparky4439 You are being disingenuous, and you were.
You _opened_ with a false dichotomy, wrapped in a strawman, with an appeal-to-hypocrisy chaser. And apparently, you thought no one would notice.
@@Kaotiqua I made an assumption about your opinion of two concepts.
I have been repeatedly told that this channel is home to 'strong left leaning people' and in encounters with them I found that most are _"ignorant about something"_ and for me that 'something' is being 'capitalism' and 'free market'.
I simply took you up on your words, which were:
_"You can't know how much you don't know until you encounter it. A compassionate human being does their best to be aware [..] I hope that someone gently takes me aside and sorts me out."_
Well, here I am, trying to sort you out in case you need sorting.. which is the assumption I made and threw into your face (apologies).
I'm honestly trying to find out if you are wrong about 'something' where I do know that most people are wrong about, because I have crawled around in that rabbit hole and found a lot of fascinating and interesting stuff that are contrary to popular belief. I just want to confront you with that.. and while not strictly on topic - the concept of this has been brought up by you, so I thought I test it, giving you the opportunity to realize that EVERYBODY, you inclusive do have this problem and that it is much closer and nearer than you thought.
You are so right Beau. I am from the UK and spent several weeks touring North America last year. I had no issues in Canada or Mexico but in the US I was asked where I was from and when I replied Scotland I was asked how I learnt to speak English so well . This occurred in several states and cities on the west coast and Midwest. It was amusing at first but became tiresome.
Exhausting is exactly 💯 it! I remember my 8th grade year when my Jr.High separated classes by scores on standardized test. I was the only black kid in my class. I spent the entire year knocking down stereotypes. Yes, it was exhausting and I got in several fights because sometimes I just couldn't take it and fighting was the only option in my frustration. I knew it was ignorance for some of them and I would try to educate them and for many of them it was eye opening. Others I knew were racist because after I disproved the stereotypes they would still hang onto whatever their beliefs were and double down on it grabbing onto any exception and making it a 100% fact. Those 3 were the same ones I would end up in fights with. For me because I was stronger than them I did get a little satisfaction out of kicking their asses, usually in gym class. But by the end of the year I was exhausted with the ignorance and found myself falling into my own racism. But it would not last because I loved my Scot/Irish/Native grandma. Since I wasn't ignorant my racism was always temporary. The love of my grandma always brought me back. At my 20th year high school reunion I saw some of these same people. During one of our conversations we went back to out Jr.High days and my efforts to debunk the stereotypes that had been thrown at me. A few of the people said that the things I said stuck with them and changed the way the viewed black people and people in general. At that point I realized my efforts in my early years actually did have some positive results. It just took 20+ years to see them.
It's more difficult when ignorance is a point of pride for so many people.
Howdy peeps! Be kind, be safe, be well. Happy October! 🎃🌻🌶💙
Happy October🍂🍁💙
🙂9th
"Peeps"? It's "Internet peeps" if you don't mind!^^
Happy October.
@@briansmutti Howdy☀️! Have a wonderful day! 🙏🏼💐🤗💖
@@Alresu Howdy☀️! Have a wonderful day! 🙏🏼💐🤗💖
Exhausting is a good choice of words. It's always been exhausting to me, and I'm white. Unsurprisingly, Beau has a great take on this. It's important to understand that you can only combat ignorance with information. Information only has value if the person you're trying to provide it to is open to receiving it. So just don't be aggressive or accusatory, and don't try to shame them. Give them something to think about in a manner that won't make them feel defensive, and move on.
"I'm not racist, I hate everyone equally" & “I’m just an old retired veteran. However, I CAN fix stupid, BUT IT’S GONNA HURT A LITTLE!!”
Grasp ignorance firmly, drag it into the cold light of day, then stomp it into oblivion. Every single time you see it.
Great video. My biggest issue with the average American is that they want to be ignorant. And sadly political folks want an ignorant population because an ignorant population is easy to manipulate.
last thing a politician wants is intelligent fre thinking individual...it scares the hell out of them..
I was at a house party the other day when one of the host's neighbors started going off (ignorantly, not maliciously) about how trans girls shouldn't be in sports. Both my friend (the host) and I are trans, so I jumped in to argue for trans girls, but my friend was waving at me like nah, I have to live next to this woman. So I let up. Sometimes it's not worth the fight.
I won't correct anyone on their racism or ignorance unless we're good friends or we are already having civil dialogue.
Your peace is priceless. Don't let just anyone disturb it.
"There are a lot of people who are both ignorant and racist, and the two are not mutually exclusive." Right there. It's also exhausting constantly trying to determine which is which or if it's both, and your job, kids' education, safe delivery of your child, and life can depend on it.
Black people get tired of educating people about ourselves. People seem not to realize that we are all individuals and can not be lumped into one big pile of behaviors.what one black person does or doesn't do may not apply to me. Biggest problem is that when you do take the time to educate someone half the time they get super defensive and accuse you of calling them racists. They look like you've slapped them. Most of the time it is not worth it. At an interracial wedding a white friend of mine asked why they jumped over a broom at the end. I explained it was a hold over from slavery. It was the way that slaves got married. This is the instance where he looked like I slapped him and he stopped talking to me. For me it was just information tossed over my shoulder as I continued to watch the wedding. P.S. my daughter and I were the only black guests on the bride's side. I didn't feel uncomfortable until that reaction to information. He later asked if he could touch my daughter's hair. She got extremely offended. I don't get offended by that. Individuals, we are all individuals. What is okay with one black person is not okay with all black people.
That is one of the problems of "othering" a whole huge group of people based on a single characteristic. It could be skin color, or eye shape, or even clothing (think of the turban all male Sikhs wear). Once you are "the other" you become 2-dimensional, deprived of all the variety that makes us individuals. Then ignorant people are surprised and sometimes offended at individual, personal responses.
A diverse education and exposure to people from many places allows experience to challenge assumptions even before they are made. That keeps ignorance at bay.
Someone, who was a friend of a friend, actually pulled my hair and asked if it was a weave. I didn't want to make a scene, so I just went to the bathroom and cried. The exhaustion is real. I spend so much time, worried about playing into the stereotypes, that I'm more afraid of the me that exists in their minds, than I am of being the me that I know I am.
As a balding older white male I am envious of your hair. My black nieces have great hair. I suspect all of them night SLAP anyone pulling their hair in self defense. 🙂
I don't understand why anybody thinks it's okay to touch, pull, or otherwise mess with somebody else's hair. But then I also don't understand the people who walk up to pregnant women and touch their bellies without permission.
Once again, you nailed it, Beau. It IS exhausting trying to engage with these ignorant people. I feel like I'm at that 50-60% mark and being surrounded by those "lower thans" and it's depressing dealing these folks on a daily basis. I've removed most of them from my circle for my own benefit
And, it's become so, so very important to the GOP that as many Americans remain ignorant and uneducated, as possible. They know the ignorant are far more easily led.
Something you missed sir:
As a POC, that was born in the 70's, I can't tell you how many times I didn't correct someone/something in a group situation because it appeared everyone else in the group didn't seem have a problem with it.
The last thing you want to do is be the one person that is on the other side of that level of bigotry/racism/ignorance. It can be very scary. (As a younger man I occasionally put myself into that situation, sometimes by accident, sometimes on purpose. Almost never anymore, because of those few times.)
I've encountered this many time. A colleague at work once asked me if all Black people know each other since there's always a polite interaction, a hello, a wave, when people meet. I told her it was just civility and it was a community thing. She was ignorant, not a racist and wanted to know.
I think you hit on something that no one else has mentioned in the comments. The woman wanted to know and asked a question. I went to high school in a very small, very white town and left to attend a large urban liberal arts college. This was the late 70's. I met people from all over the world with different sexual orientations, religious beliefs, political ideas etc. The wonderful thing was you could feel comfortable asking someone why they did what they did. It was accepted and encouraged to ask questions when you didn't understand. I don't feel that is really the case any longer. Asking a question like your friend did just doesn't seem acceptable anymore. You ask a question like that and you are labeled racist or anti gay or whatever.
@@sallysmithson9713 the difference is the friend asked another white friend about it. It’s a lot easier when white people educate white people because then like you said they don’t get to be labeled as racist or whatever And they don’t have to doubt that the Black or other marginalized person is just playing the race card or sensitive. White people who are not ignorant should educate the ignorant ones. It’s not up to Black people or other people of color to suffer and have to teach at the same time. That’s asking for more free labor.
@@mandeanraje2300 Or perhaps, demanding free labor?
I live in Appalachia in North Carolina. We all smile and wave at each other whether we are driving down the road in our cars, or on the porch; whether we know the people or if they are strangers. I've noticed this in other NC rural areas as well. I think it's kind of a recognition of community. Around here we call it the "Carolina Wave".
We don't ask why, it's just a thing.
@@mcsmith732 It's a nice thing. I live in Chicago and it's not common among white people.
I have been combating racism and bigotry most of my life. I would question things as a kid and as I got older, I found the answer, then I started correcting people. This country is so think in racism and bigotry that I'm still finding things I have said, or ways that I thought were racist or bigoted. The best way to tell if a person is racist or just ignorant, is to correct them. If they double down and say you are being to sensitive, they meant to be racist. If they apologize and stop saying those things, they were just ignorant about it.
Generally speaking, you're correct, but I've dealt with ignorant people who also refuse to apologize out of stubbornness because they resent being corrected by me. Many people resent being corrected because it makes them feel inadequate. Nobody likes being corrected, especially by someone they don't know. Therefore, it's hard to determine whether someone is racist or ignorant simply from how they react to correction.
I'm glad if you've been successful correcting people. I just hope you're ready in case some people could respond to you...negatively, to put it nicely.
@@insightfulhistorian1861 if a person refuses to see how hurtful their words were, and they continue to be hurtful with those same words, then they intended to be hurtful, and racist and/or bigoted.
You can't judge a person by what they did in their past, but you can judge a person by what they refuse to change.
Which is why right media pre-emptively tells their viewers people are just too sensitive. That they will be called racist just to shut them down.
@@ninij9692 I agree, you should absolutely judge a person by what they refuse to change. However, if a person refuses to see how hurtful their words were and continues to use those words, then they are willfully ignorant *and* bigoted. Ignorance is no excuse once the person has been informed their behavior is wrong. They know they're being racist and choose not to care. My point is that willful ignorance and racism are so deeply intertwined that it's almost impossible to distinguish them.
You're trying to create this arbitrary distinction between ignorance and deliberate, intentional racism when they are BOTH in fact racism. The vast majority of racism in America stems from ignorance/stupidity regarding race. People have no clue and refuse to learn, and the harmful outcome is the same as committed white supremacy. So your distinction is irrelevant.
I have a weekly call with an old friend who has become more conservative as he grew older, and I find myself correcting more than one thought/statement per call. As exhausting as it may be week to week, it's worth it, because I know I'm (likely) the only person with opposing POVs who has his attention on a regular basis.
Once, a visiting family member told a racist joke. My gut reaction was to say, OMG, that’s racist. But I didn’t want to damage the relationship, so I didn’t say anything. I felt awful, and I decided I had to figure out how to respond. Research shows most people don’t know how to respond effectively. Over the years, I’ve developed an approach that works: I start with asking a curious question. Then, I clarify, and THEN I express my feelings and beliefs. It’s simple but it’s not easy. I’ve put the details with examples in a book called ACE-ing Conflict.
I just ask them to try to explain the point of the "joke" and ask why they think it's funny instead of hurtful.
When they try to explain, they usually end up finding out on their own that what they said wasn't very clever at all.
@@mcsmith732 exactly. Being curious about how they see it encourages thought, which they likely haven't given the situation much of previously. It tends to be more effective than telling them they are wrong, which just encourages defensiveness.
@@mcsmith732 Meeting ignorance with ignorance can be quite effective. Saying "I don't get the joke" then asking joker to explain it, usually flips the script.
*When someone feels comfortable being racist around you, it says something very negative About YOU.* I am a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ; I love and serve Him with gladness. And you better believe, despite what some people may WANT to say, not one person is willing to make a foul comment about gay people in my presence because I will shut that shit down QUICK! (curse word used purposely). *I don't try to make racist, homophobic idiots feel comfortable in my presence.* Being around foul idiots like that is not worth preserving. *Bottom Line: if you don't speak up, you are condoning it, period.*
@@dr.braxygilkeycruises1460 Maybe people avoid saying foul comments in your presence, but what do they say when not in your presence? I absolutely do speak up, AFTER opening up the window of communication. This way, they are more willing to hear what I have to say, and in actually listening, hopefully lose interest in saying hurtful things when I'm not around.
Grew up in small northern New England town, you can guess the ethnic diversity..
When I started going to school in Boston, I realized how ignorant I was about the ingrained racist sayings and language I grew up with.
Fortunately my mother worked very hard to instill an open minded view of the world I had yet to meet.
So grateful for the ethic and acceptance she helped to develop in me at a young age. 💓
The darkest place in hell is reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis.
Really? There is a Norm Macdonald joke in here somewhere. Something about being a hypocrite.......
@@why-even-try-brotendo HUH?
🙂7th
Lol where is gods place considering his....
@@jamesc.lockwood3810 You have the internet, look up *Norm Macdonald hypocrite joke*
Problem is, ain't nobody wants to be involuntarily educated, and many will resent the educator.
One needs to actively formulate a question and pursue information before any answer has meaning, and lots of folks question nothing
The root word is, "ignore", which is a voluntary act. People chose ignorance, and once chosen, it can lead to many things, like racism and misogyny.
Nope. Root is ignorant- 'not knowing'
Has nothing to do with intent or lack thereof
@@lorenzodicapo6305 It's history is vague and includes "ignore". Not much of a stretch from "not know" to "ignore".
But, to agree, I would point out this is why we have the phrase "willful-ignorance". Because so often it is.
@@charleswettish8701 fair enough. Just clearing up etymology because I'm weird. And yes, I suspect that in future, the word will evolve into having a more willful or intentional component to its definition.
Thanks
The point Beau is making, and it’s completely valid, is that a lot of white Americans are genuinely ignorant about life as a Black person.
The exhaustion is the reason that it needs to be up to people, who aren’t the target but have the empathy, to do the educating. As exhausting as it may seem to someone who isnt a daily target………imagine how exhausting it must be for someone who is.
Thank you, Beau, for throwing in the "exhausting" point. You nailed it, so no need for me to elaborate. I pick my battles carefully
Thank you, for sharing this video, Beau. I'm a mixed race man, white, Mexican, Cajun French, Filipino. I'm very Mexican presenting but have encountered other inquiries, such as Chinese, from people. These types of situations like the one spoke of here are indeed very common. Especially when I was growing up having to deal with white children emulating the behavior of their ignorant and many times just flat out racist parents (Maybe you could do a video touching on that subject?). It doesn't help being from the deep south, either. Yes, it very exhausting having to deal with this constantly. Particularly when some people are just rude about it with questions such as, "What ARE you?" As if I'm some object that they've never seen before rather than an actual human being. In these cases, bringing it up to them results in a combative response that makes me out to be the one with the problem for correcting their rude behavior. There's many times where it is like a no win situation and the only way to come out ahead is to simply not engage. It seems the only way the information has a chance of getting through to them is to receive it from a person that looks like them rather than the person that they've othered.
Thank you for this. It IS very exhausting and the marginalized have to learn to deal at a young age and continue throughout their life. Couple that with people that flat out deny it ever happens, tiring.
Being able to help someone's ignorance without coming down on them is a skill we'd be so very clever to teach if we had a clue how.
These days, that would most likely be banned...
@@suziestubebrown5397 By who?
@@charleswettish8701 Maybe the people who don't want their kids to know the truth about history, or accept other kids who are different in any way? You know, the ones who are banning books?
@@chezmoi42 Ahh, I misunderstood. Yes, banning books is wrong!
@@charleswettish8701 And so is banning the teaching of acceptance of other people, and knowledge of complicated subjects.
As a born and raised New Mexican, I can speak some to the exhaustion. Every time I travel, I find someone asking me a ridiculous question that either assumes that New Mexico is Mexico (and those comments usually include ignorance about Mexico as well) or that it is somehow part of Texas. Just that is exhausting.... And that is only when I travel. I can't imagine having to deal with nonsensical ignorance on the daily.
You learn to pick your battles or you exhaust yourself banging your head against endless brick walls.
I have two "adopted" families, one Mormon and another Jewish, but I was raised Episcopal, which is pretty much Catholic without the papacy. I've been startled by both the ignorance of my Jewish family about Christianity, and their eager curiosity. I've never felt more grateful for the confirmation (catechism) classes that let me answer their questions definitively. My Mormon family has shown curiosity about the Asian faiths I studied in college. But I'd be at sea about, say, Islam. It's a big ol' world, thank heaven!
Freedom is the responsibility of each of us as individuals to support the freedom of everyone.
To do that requires we see each person as an individual.
Loved Cotton's introduction to Khan. "Nope he's Laotian."
As a Black man who has Face Racism in Canada 🇨🇦. Regularly. If I have Confronted the people who are trying to Insult me. It would be a Full time job. But I am proud 👏🏿 of myself. Alot of it is Jealousy and Hate
It IS exhausting! As a disabled woman, who is wheelchair dependent, I do have to educate practically everyone I meet. I have to, just to maintain my autonomy. People, strangers, will just grab my chair and start trying to push it, acting as though I should have no choice in the matter.
There is also a lot of ignorance about the word ignorance. Many many people seem to think that the word ignorant is synonymous with rude. I am so glad that you clarify what the word REALLY means.
You are 100% right 😂. I am from Romania and yes half of the people always ask me if Romania is in Rome. I always asked them if it’s possible to fit a country the size of NC and SC combined inside a capital of another country, and if the answer is yes, then I would like an example… They look more confused than before 😂
Lol, wow. I'm always like, 'oh that's so cool you're from Dacia and speak one of the most interesting romance languages.'
I once thought it was our responsibility to advocate for ourselves and educate the ignorance, but then I realized just how often I had to give the same lecture on racism. I didn't realize how exhausting it was until I had to do it multiple times a day, especially when I was supposed to be around friends.
Beau, how did you get so smart? You are so right about racism vs ignorance. As a black woman, I've come across both and yes, it makes you tired. Love you!
Excellent point 👌
This helps not to be angry at ignorant people.
But ignorance is still no excuse to break the law.👮♂️
👋
I'm hyperaware that my ignorance could hurt others, and I keep trying to get educated, but the more I learn the more I get timid about speaking up. The racism is insidious in our society, and I am somewhat isolated, so I have little interaction to learn from. It's beyond, folks is folks no matter where you go. Now, asking questions in order to learn can be scary, because of the unknown about another experience. Mostly, I learn from our kids who are way less ignorant.
Thanks Beau.
Good morning iquestion ! Hope you are well today & are blessed with good weather & time to enjoy the day !
@@tombrown4683 good morning. I am okay, got a rainy day, good for snuggling in and resetting. Thanks. How are you?
@@iquestion8493 I am doing fine. Beautiful weather here today with uncharacteristically low humidity. I want to restful enjoy the day maybe sit on the porch for a while, thanks.
I have a relative who would ALWAYS refer to any Asian person as Chinese or, even less accurately as 'Orientals'. I knew they weren't trying to be malicious so tried to explain the differences.. Today they still err but generally changed that behavior...
Howdy folks! I hope everyone has a great Sunday!! 👋 ✌️
Happy Sunday
Hi Ross Hargett, Me too 👋🙂🤞✌️⚘️⚘️⚘️ !
So many of us have been there. It is exhausting. It is especially annoying when they defend their comments as freedom of speech and accuse you of trying to oppress them. That’s when it becomes less about not knowing and more about their egos and “damn” your feelings.
I thought I was the only person who thought about this exepect I call it ignorance vs predigious. And yes people can grow out of it and accept responsibility
Thank you for this. As a New Yorker (Manhattan)- by birth. & a one time traveler-(35 countries & 46 states) ... These various levels of getting to know & be known by other cultures beyond stereotypes is always a difficult "ice breaker" interaction.
This reminds me of a time I once went on a music themed cruise and I brought a guitar with me to mess around with when no performances were going on. I'd find a quiet spot somewhere while the boat was in port and just play a bit to myself. A couple came up complimented me on how I sounded. We had a nice little conversation and then they asked how long I had been on the boat. I bent down to tie my shoe (they pointed out my shoes were untied) and said I boarded on Sunday when the cruise started. When I looked up they were gone. I was confused for a bit until I realized, that being of Filipino decent they assumed I was one of the crew as a large portion of the crew were Filipino (a lot of questions they asked suddenly made sense). It never dawned on them that I was a passenger and when they realized it they fled. I mentioned it to some friends and they asked if I was mad but I said no. Its not like they were trying to insult me and clearly they felt bad about their mistake but that's all it was - a mistake. I've been on the wrong end of racist comments before and there is a difference between ignorance and racism.
Ignorance you can fix but stupid is forever.
Thank you, thank you, thank you
For mentioning how TIRING it is dealing with stereotypes.
I would point out another argument..."pick your battles!" For most people there's a time and place where they're going to be receptive to criticism, but they'll most likely be otherwise confrontational. Not everyone wants to go around accumulating villains...