4 Limiting Beliefs: from Soviet childhood to Capitalist adulthood
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- Опубликовано: 27 июн 2024
- Unlearning these to be free. Limiting beliefs that stem from my Soviet and post-Soviet reality and that are present worldwide, actually. Do you happen to have them too? This video is part of a mental declutter series to gain confidence and individuality back.
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Always yours,
Ana(stasia)
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Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:50 Baby elephant metaphor
01:38 What are limiting beliefs
02:46 Limiting belief #1
05:51 Limiting belief #2
08:48 Limiting belief #3
11:34 Limiting belief #4
13:50 Outro
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I really appreciate your videos. Living in the US, we are conditioned in our culture to be social all the time, work ourselves to death, and consume as much material goods as possible. AND if you are a woman, and don't look like a Victoria's Secret model, you are worthless. I am turning 52 soon and love the person I am. I like to spend a lot of time alone and am trying to get away from materialism. Fighting against any "system" or any limiting beliefs is difficult, but soooo worth it. Thank you for sharing with us :)
This is such an inspiring message, Peg! Thank you for sharing 💙 Ugh, I I'm so familiar with "Victoria's Secret" bias, in my culture women aged over 30 are canceled all the time. So sad...
Sending much love your way, my friend 🤗
You are so right! Keep up the great and worthwhile work!
@@anagoldberg sending love right back to you!
Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience, Ana. from kari on West Coast of Canada
Regarding the fourth belief, I grew up with a parent who had alcoholism. As the years passed this parent went from being loving and kind to being abusive and neglecting. From age of 8 through high school I also became the girl who was the most bullied. Even when in our town. I inherently knew not to speak out about parent or about bullying for fear of retaliation. As I came into my 20s I became an advocate for many marginalized persons and also wrote many letters to companies who were harming animals/environment and the companies that made / sold menstrual products using unsafe chemicals to make tampons/pads white (that women used inside or on their vulnerable parts). I attended many protests for human/ social rights & environmental. In my late 40s I applied/entered University so that I could effect more changes in policies (social/homelessness/health care/refugees/abused women and children, and also worked hospital emergency rooms & ICU with grieving families supporting people with an unexpected life changing injuries (brain injury, amputation, etc.). Unfortunately I still have residual memories & emotions of my childhood, however I also know that those experiences shaped who I am and my sense of compassion and justice and advocacy. Thank you Ana and Ana’s followers❤
You are a Lightworker, Ana. That's why it's so difficult to function within the rules (social or otherwise) of this man-made world. It makes little sense, and it's often cruel. If I could go back and speak to my younger self, I would tell me not to worry one minute about what others think. Most are not thinking about me at all, they are thinking about themselves! 💕
I am a very youthful 56 year old African American male in the US and I grew up with all four of these beliefs. In the past few years I have worked really hard to cast them all aside because not one of them has served me well. Sometimes, they try to resurface but I tamp them back down. I don't compare myself to others and I go my own way. If I am not accepted as my authentic self then that means you aren't supposed to be in my life.
Hello Dear Ana❤
Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts and experiences.
I am Swedish and grew up in the 60’s to 70’ s when more socialist ideas was prominent here. These days it’s almost the opposit in political ideals, and not optimal either.
I was indeed raised to be a people pleaser as a girl.
To be calm, not raise my voice, not protest or fight. My parents were the older generation and very conservative, esp my dad.
Of course I loved them, but sometimes I felt it was a bit conditional, I mean as long as I was likeable in their views of how a girl should look and behave. As time passed I began revolting against that.
I had to fight a lot of anxiety from teen years, with all these limiting beliefs you mentioned.
Have worked so much with myself to finally like myself as I am.
Being a parent has challenged/is still challenging me to really use common sense and think twice. It opened new doors in life, and I questioned myself in how I expressed myself as a parent. Well we are 2 parents and still married.
Also marriage is a great challenge, but we managed to find ourselves back together again after Therapy and much inner work. Because we really want to be together, not from expectations.
We follow what work for us etc.
I love your wisdom and warm personality, how genuine you are, your strong messages.
Always look much forward to your videos of both channels. ❤️😇
Dear Anne, thank you so much for this deep, meaningful sharing 💙 I find your experience with parenting and marriage so inspiring! Indeed, everything requires a lot of inner work and dedication.
Sending you and your family much love🌷
Dear Ana. Your videos speak to me. I am a retired American living very frugally. This was not the case for my earlier life. I was a consumer, a competitor, a workaholic. I do not regret my earlier life. I just choose to live simply. I have more than enough for my needs and just enough for my wants (these are usually craft supplies). Thank you for sharing.
I think no.4 exists but much more subtly in the UK, specifically in England. There is a saying, "Don't stick your head above the parapet or you will get shot at." Meaning that if you are too challenging of the status quo or go against the majority opinion, you will stir up trouble for yourself. I compare the English with the French, who assert their opinions and rights much more often and more vociferously than we do in England.
One of this absolute truths is paradoxically the belief that we can do whatever we want but more really self knowledgeable we become more we notice our own limitations and always our potentials within these limitations.
This is a very good, deep point, Thiago!
This is a harsh truth that I learned the last couple of years. I was raised with the believe that I could do and become anything I want to if I work hard enough.
I found out this was a ly when I severely burned out a couple of years ago. Only when I accepted that my ADHD limits what I can do and that I don't have infinite time and energy did I finally get rid of this burden to always have to succeed.
Good points, Ana. There is another belief counter to your last point that I believe to be questionable, that is: 'You can be anything you want, it's only your beliefs that hold you back.' This can be used to blame people for failure to overcome entrenched social and economic disadvantages, when the truth is only a few get the chance to break through. And anyway, not everyone wants and needs to be a go-getter.
PS. I love these glimpses of your artwork.
This is such a great point, Rowanne! Thank you ✨
Dear Ana, I have not commented in a while but know I'm still watching and appreciating everything you post on both channels. I had not heard of the elephant metaphor but it makes so much sense. I've heard another term for it as "learned helplessness" which can be challenging to overcome. Thank you for all of your great content. 💕
Thank you for being here, Lenara 🌷 I agree, learned helplessness has a lot to do with it!
Loved this topic Ana. Limiting beliefs are something I also grew up with. It's what our society tells us most of the time. I'm glad that I don't listen to it anymore and it makes my life easier. Not because things have changed, but because I changed my attitude towards it. Especially no.1 is something that doesn't matter so much as it used to when I was young. Thank you for this video 🙏
Thank you for your kindest support, Anita 💜 Indeed, changing one's attitude is the most life-changing thing to do!
It may be a generational thing in the US, but being 'elderly, now, I was raised with a belief in #4. It's been liberating to be realize there are younger woman who actually think I have something to say. Some wisdom to share.
Hi Ana, these are very familiar thoughts. I grew up in the US with my parents and paternal grandparents who left russia in '96 (I was born in '95). American and Soviet values can be soooo contradictary. I take from both. I am very scrappy, down-to-earth, creative, and communal, but also ambitious and outward-facing. The 4th belief is one I hear every freaking time I call my folks, who live halfway across the country from me. 'Just stick it out, you're not that special' or 'you'll only get hurt if you try xyz' is extremely pervasive. Maybe that's why it didn't sound strange to me. It might be a class-based belief though instead of fully cultural, but I do know what you mean when you talk about it. Like.... don't be an individual, it's scary and unknown.
I guessed #4 before you said it - yep! I agree, "lay low and don't stick out" mentality was taught. I am currently working on changing this in my mindset and how I act.
I think limiting belief #4 is true everywhere but for different reasons. In authoritarian countries is can get you killed but here in the US the society punishes people who speak out.. People don't like to have the truth pointed out to them! Either way you are on a journey that MOST people don't take no matter where they are! It's hard work. To thine own self be true!
Hello Ana 🌺, I grew up more than 5000km apart from you, and yet, so many similarities. We have a saying - a bowed head won't be cut by a sword :( So limiting belief #4 is present....as all the others which I consider to be more universal.
Concerning your 4th point, in the US we have a complicated relationship with concepts of the majority and authority. On the one hand, although our political system is based in most respects upon “majority rule”, our Founding Fathers implemented checks and balances to prevent “the tyranny of the majority”. Our three-part, bicameral government, as well as the Bill of Rights (ensuing individual rights that can’t be taken away by simple majority vote), are parts of this balance. On the other hand, we have a very common saying: “You can’t fight City Hall.” This adage suggests that one person is powerless against authority (which is generally controlled by the majority). But we also have a long history of standing up against authority (we protest EVERYTHING!), so when you hear, “You can’t fight City Hall”, it will generally be just before an inspirational individual stands up to authority being exercised unreasonably. Thanks for your thought-provoking content!
Totally understand. I was raised up in former socialist country and it took quite a long time to get rid of those limiting beliefs. Thanks for sharing. Have a nice evening, Ana
Learned helplessness - there was an experiment with dogs, also. :( Ty for touching the political implications in our psyche.
Hi Ana , thank you so much for this discussion. I can honestly say that I can identify with all four these beliefs. It has taken me such a long time to start being my own person. I often wondered if other people felt the same but never dared to ask. Thank you for this discussion. Take care Gale . ps Beautiful pen point flower and lovely visuals🙏
Hi Gale! I'm so glad you resonate with the thoughts in the video and that you've found the courage to be your own person! It's utterly inspiring 💜 Much love, my friend!
I think limiting belief number four is more present in certain US subcultures than people might think. I grew up in a conservative evangelical Christian community and since coming out as queer and trans I have lost most of my family and no longer feel safe in the place I was raised. There is only one right way to be in that culture and it harms so many people.
Excellent presentation. Thank you for sharing .❤
The 4th belief is similar to the GDR Where I partly raised and my parents do still have this opinion. I think you are right. It belongs to these systems and it is hard to leave them. I was a child when the system changed but for older people the modern world seems a little bit crazy. Btw love your videos and thoughts ❤
Thank you so much for sharing, my friend 💙 I've read quite a lot about the GDR history which is so complicated... I can't even imagine what older generations went through when the system was created and then changed.
Well thank you so much for this video. This was perfect timing. Yes I had been brainwashed in much the same way and it took forever to change this. It is so good of you to tell people of this now so they will know.
Anna I love your voice it is so calming and questions you have raised in this video all 4 make part of my childhood, early ages and today I am almost 50 years old but still struggling with patterns I am always falling in btw I am Serbian living outside of country for 24 years. Regarding 4th limiting believe we have even proverb in Serbian „Zlatna sredina“- golden middle, which should stop people into being satisfied with reaching middle and stay there not even thinking they could achieve more.
I think these limiting beliefs are common to all cultures. I am still treated with a mixture of suspicion and pity because I choose not to have a partner (having been married twice and having grown up children). But the the key word here is "choose". Once we choose to fight back against social conditioning and do what feels right for us we are a lot happier and healthier.
Wishing you well x
Привет Ана ❤️ я так вас понимаю в аспекте про связи и нетворкинг. У меня никогда не получалось дружить с кем то из выгоды. Я не считаю себя из-за этого лучше других, но в моей жизни правда единицы близких, кто прошёл проверку временем. Бывало и так, что люди отпадали после 10+ лет общения. И мне не жаль. Я просто стараюсь это принимать, как есть. Я восхищаюсь людьми с большим кругом знакомых, людьми с большими крепкими семьями, но больше не хочу им завидовать. Верю, что жизнь прекрасна во всем её многообразии, даже для чувствительных людей, как мы. 🤗
Привет, Диана!💜 Ох, вы прям в очередной раз мои мысли озвучили. И да, у меня была зависть к людям с широким кругом друзей и любимых, но после нескольких лет потуг и попыток быть не-собой, я все отпустила и перестала корить себя за то, что "сижу как сыч в своей норе"😊 Да, наша чувствительность делает мировосприятие особенным, и я так рада, что тут у нас много единомышленников!
На самом деле я поняла, какая это свобода, когда разрешаешь себе не заниматься этим нетворкингом. Я так долго пыталась заставлять себе делать то, что у других получалось органически. Это было источником постоянного внутреннего утомления, потому что утомительно быть той, кем ты не являешься. У меня узкий круг людей, которых я люблю, которых я проверила, с которыми хорошо, а нетворкингом разрешила себе не заниматься
Thank you, Ana. Actually I know all these limiting beliefs from my personal experience. I guess the fourth one is not so common in American culture, because, as far as I know, American people are highly encouraged to protest, to express opinion, go on strikes, claim their rights, etc. But me... as a person that grown up in post-soviet country... oh, I know the feeling. 🧐
Thank you so much for watching and resonating, Jurate 🌷 Indeed, post-Soviet countries have this thing in common. Unfortunatelt, not all of them learned their lessons well. And of course I mean my home country and its leadership.
So true Ana 😊
I really love this and the past few videos you’ve made❤️
It's so sweet and kind of you, my friend! Thank you for your support 🌹
Hi Ana! Thank you for this video. Having grown up in the USA I definitely had to go up against the first 3 limiting beliefs but also #4 in a different way. Although we were encouraged to "express ourselves", even if it meant standing out individually, I found that there were limited ways of standing out that were deemed acceptable. And a lot of what expressivity was considered acceptable was related to our already having success/status, leading back to belief #2. In any case it's great to be able to put a name on them all. Helping to come back to our authentic self. Best wishes🙏😊
Dear Ana another great video content. Yes I can relate to all 4 of these beliefs. So glad you are finally letting go & keeping yourself true to who you are. Love your artwork ❤ 🌷❤
Another great video Ana 📹 have a great day
Thank you, dear Liam! You too, have a lovely day 🌺
I am from the US but I can relate to #4 from my personal family dynamics. I felt a bit emotional about that one when you talked about it. If it is something you'd like to talk about I'd love to hear more about your father.
thank you for the video as always!! 💐
You make beautiful art.
🙏🏼 💚💚💚
Спасибо за видео, которое так сильно резонирует со мной и с тем, как меня воспитывали родители. О многом заставило задуматься и переосмыслить!
Я очень рада, что видео срезонировало! Спасибо вам 💜
Networking. Little hint about France: "Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité". What is the fraternity in it? Cold interests.
Exceptional video! I appreciate the quotes and elaborations. I live in the USA and really like your channel because it somehow “grounds” me from the daily life’s hustle. All your videos are great, please don’t stop sharing!❤
Oh, thank you so much for saying this, Mona 🌹 This support means a lot to me! Much love 💜
I like your new hair color! Good to see you Ana. I'm not sure if these are limiting beliefs in my world. I do think it's good to look at assumptions/underlying beliefs and values we have and see if they make sense to continue to hold onto.
Dear Anna,
thank you for your warm thoughts. It is incredible: Through your channel you now help and impact thousands of people. Thank you for inspiring so many of us introverts. You are a huge role model for me. I now also want to share more and risk "sticking out" being myself.
The music you choose for your videos is beautiful.
This is such a supportive and uplifting message! Thank you so much, dear friend 🌺
Hi Ana, another really thoughtful video which was both relatable and thought-provoking. I guess conditioning people to fit into a group culture is important to a certain extent in communities, but if it is just accepted without thought and challenged as necessary it can become a means by which some people dominate or profit from the compliance of others. We are conditioned to comply with customs and beliefs in religions, families, sports teams, schools and ethnic cultures etc. It is so interesting to notice how many are common across so many different settings and countries, especially where gender roles are concerned. I identified with the ones you mentioned. One that I believed most of my life was that I could not learn a language. I challenged that belief at 50 and have learned Italian and am now starting to learn some Russian. When my children we young I battled to teach my daughters that they could be themselves and that you did not need to have the same as everyone else to fit in. Young people are under so much pressure to conform and can face bullying if they do not comply or their self-worth can be shaken. Questioning decluttering these unhelpful beliefs is an important part of personal growth. Thank you again.
I love your words, there's so much integrity in them. Thank you for taking your time to share your thoughts, you're making a difference with your channel. I'm one of those woman who are "socially unreliable" for Brazilian culture because I don't want to have kids, and more than that I'm taking the path of minimalism because it brings me joy. To my surprise, that can really make people angry, but they will only listen to what they want to, as said by my fellow citizen Paulo Coelho. Best regards, from Brazil.
As to the 4th, I think it's universal as well. And I use the same pens! 005.
These pens are the best 😍
Alsom I;m so interested to see how many people will resonate with the 4th!
I grew up in Poland and it's all been the same for me :D But how do you get over these limiting beliefs? It's easy to say that we don't care what others think, but I find those critical voices are still always there and maybe always will be.
To answer your question, I'm one of the people still wearing a mask because I stay up to date with research about covid. The times I go into the office I'm usually the only person masked and it's rare that I see other masked people at the shops. I haven't been to a restaurant or cafe since before the pandemic started and I still keep my hair long and cut it myself because when it has a slight wave and I wear it tied up no-one can tell. So no, I'm not afraid to be different. I just do what I think is right.
The baby elephant thing.... Learned helplessness. real thing. its depressing but true.
Evil prevails when good men (and women ) do nothing . That is what happens as a result of number four limitation . Many thanks for sharing and best wishes from England.
😊😊
Growing up in a working class family the UK for the first 21 years of my life I was brought up in and pretty much bought into belief #4. I was born into a lower class and the lower classes had no voice. That voice belonged to the privileged, educated and upper classes.
However, on moving to the USA at 22, my world view exploded. There seemed to be no class system (that I was aware of) and EVERYONE apparently had a voice in anything if they chose to use it. Higher education was available to everyone if they applied themselves (while it had been marginalised and available only the privileged of the well off in the UK) so I got an degree as a mature student. Political activism was huge in the 1970s & I got involved an the early women's Peace movement, PeaceLinks And The National Organizatiin of Women. It was an exhilarating feeling to think I could in a tiny way influence change.
I still find I care more than I should about what other folk think but not nearly as much as when I was young. Then everyone's opinion counted except my own. Now it's pretty much a family thing.
Networking? I've never done that. It must be a generational difference.
Wow, so much to think about Ana. Your reference to the poor baby elephant certainly is true. Another analogy would be with prisoners who spend years in a penitentiary. The absolute limitations of prison life can become reassuring to some inmates, and when they finally finish their sentences, becoming free again is frightening and often impossible to negotiate. Of the first three limitations you describe, I think nepotism might be less universal and most often present in socialist or totalitarian societies. It certainly does exist in democratic/capitalist countries, but much more in a country like Russia. This is evident right now with the Russian military, where incompetent individuals have risen to leadership positions and are probably responsible for the dismal performance of this army. The fourth item is, as you've said, very much a part of countries like China. In the states, of course, individualism dominates the entire culture. This determination to believe in oneself certainly allows people like Edison, Ford, and Jobs to innovate and change the world for the better. But it can be a dangerous thing to put personal beliefs above the social good. Trump might be an excellent example of how a single individual almost brought down our entire nation (and he is determined to try to again!) I so love your wonderful drawings Ana. So much detail and depth. Marvelous.
The analogy with prisoners is so true, Ted! I agree. And yep, nepotism is less present in the US, but in democratic Europe, it's not uncommon, as far as I can tell from certain insights. Actually, Brian and I had a discussion about the aspects of individualism vs. majoritarianism, it's so interesting to view how these ideas can be harmful and beneficial in certain aspects. Indeed, nothing is just black and white.
Thank you for your kind compliment on my drawings, dear friend ✨
@@anagoldberg Good point about nepotism in Europe. The old saying "it's not what you know but who you know" may be more universal than I realize.
last belief: i used to believe what you do now, but i gave up, i now believe what you used to
Dear Ana,
Jako zanimljiv video.
I ja sam odrasla u socijalističkoj zemlji,pa te u potpunosti razumem,naročito u vezi br.4.❤️
Thank you so much for wathcing, draga Nena 💙 Yep, that's right, we know this #4 so well...
💚 Ana I love this topic and the way you weave your personal story with your belief system. I'm a fan since the beginning and usually always resonate with your thought processes! This time--on belief #3--I'm confused. You initially use the word "networking" but then jump to "nepotism" and seem to be conflating the two. While nepotism certainly relies on family or some other personal network, professional networking is more broad than the favoritism of nepotism. It can include valuable mentoring relationships, connections to other professionals' areas of expertise, learning and volunteer opportunities and so much more. While I absolutely agree that nepotism is worthy of avoiding, I disagree that's it's the same as networking in the professional or social senses. I wonder if you can clarify if you use the word networking to synonymously mean nepotism? Do you agree that networking in its broader sense CAN be a useful feature of non-limiting beliefs? 🤗
As always, thank you for such food for thought. Your quiet meditations about what matters have become part of my self-care! Thank you ✨💜🌟
Thank you for such a deep message and food for thought, my friend! Yes, you made a great clarifying point that I must have missed - networking is not necessarily a negative thing, it has a broad meaning which brings so much value and possibilities to many professionals. Unfortunately, for people with socializing problems like me, networking which is now so widely spread and has become an urgent, necessary task for "success", is a source of major stress. I hope I'll get to figure it out soon, but I can see how many people are struggling with the need to network all the time and keep the connections "alive".
Sending much love as always 💜
one limiting belief that I see in the USA is the belief that everyone should want to "make it" and become a celebrity. I don't want to be a public figure. I want to be a private person and not be in the public eye. To me, the greatest freedom is privacy.
I heard about the baby elephant 😪 (Hungary)
No 4 was fully valid in my country during the communist era...
Hello Ana,
I just watched a a RUclips video of this American woman who does journaling and crafting. Kind of reminds me of the crafts you sometimes do. I do not know her personally but here is her name of video,,
Magazine Harvest With Me. In The Name of All That Is Egglatine. Her name on RUclips is , Jen with JVinco. I watched one where she shows different pictures out of magazines. She has several different videos about her craft. Thought it might be of interest to you. I hope you can find the videos and curious to know what you think about them?
I hope you are well and have a good week.
All are beliefs are limiting because they are conditioned as you say from parents, schooling and society. Only when we realise this can we truly be free. You may become free from certain sets of conditioning but this is not the same as being fully free and aware of our true nature.
Great points.
Funny aside: you are visibly becoming more like your environment, even your body language is more Serbian now - is this conscious or subconscious?
Haha, I had no idea my body language changed! It's weird because I can't say I socialize a lot now, still living almost like a hermit 😅
@@anagoldberg oh thats so interesting, I wonder how it happened?
🪁🕊️🐘
I really love your videos!! it's already more than a year that I follow you, and I found all your projects really inspiring and interesting! I discover your channel with the video receipt of vegan Blinis, and it's always a pleasure when you upload a new video. Keep going like this 🫶😺
Thank you for your kind words, Giosue 💜
❤