Hey guys, hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts! If you’d like to see if our program would be a good fit for you & what you NEED, be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited). At the end of this masterclass, we will provide you instructions on how to apply for the program, and we will be able to honestly inform you if the program would be a good fit for you, or not! Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! → urlgeni.us/MCEP156DS Download the FREE GUIDE! → relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
I used to be a victim to this mistake . I would constantly be vulnerable to my partner and tell her how sad I am she’s looking for other people now or that she ended the relationship etc thinking if I show her how sad I actually am she’ll consider coming back . But she got so fed up to the point she told me to stop the pity party when I was crying 🤣🤣. It was only then I realized that if someone as kind as her was pushed to be so mean to a person who is crying then I must be doing something immensely wrong . If ur vulnerability is about the wrong things you will suck the life out of your partner trust me guys I have been there .
Bingo. It's not about the WHAT, it's about the HOW. Women don't like vulnerable men. Women like STRONG men who are vulnerable. Complaining all day isn't very attractive, is it :)
Oh the stories bro. The STORIES 😂 what man do we know that hasn’t done this? Heck I am confident to say I haven’t met a man who doesn’t do most, if not all, of the the safety destroying “habits” discussed on the channel. That’s why your channel and program are gold Geoffrey. It isn’t so simple as “saving relationships” anymore, it’s bigger than that. Than us. These behaviors are engrained in people, both genders, and I kid you not when I say I now receive admiration from do many people just through the internal shifts and attempted SOC alone. I am not perfect, hell…nowhere near it but I see the flow of affection from others directed at me now. I know I am finally on the right path, only took 8 months haha! Let me finish the video, just had to say that 10 minutes in.
First comment 😀😀 I’m a minute in and I know this is gonna be amazing 🔥👍🏾 thank brother Geoffrey!!! The best lifestyle coach out there!! Let’s go brother
I started watching Geoff in the beginning of January 2023.. and when i saw his videos, in my head i found the golden answer that i needed for building a thriving relationship.. I’m not a client in the program but i’m an obsessed individual in growing myself/soft skills that I didn’t know about because i’m someone who grew up from the norms of a traditional guy who only know how to provide the lowest standards like financial, effort and time.. but not in the area of safety emotionally and psychologically.. Me and my partner broke up Sept of 2022 and we dated for 6 years.. After 2 years she reached out to me and we met yesterday to catch up and see where we’re at.. i used all my youtube knowledge to create the perfect environment for her to feel safe and open up wounds from the past and guess what.. She let her emotions flow.. She cried and laughed with me and we talked for hours and just letting her express herself.. I’m not saying we’re getting back together instantly whatsoever but the fact that Geoff’s videos helped a lot to execute my changes really says something about his principles.. Keep up the good work guys and never stop growing.. coz this program works.
Love to hear it :) Keep creating the perfect environment for your partner and double down on creating even more massive changes for your partner to see!
Thanks Geoff, Misunderstanding emotional vulnerability and how it can be dangerous when fueled by a victim mindset was definable one of the things in my blind spot that has been continuously destroying safety for years now. My partner always said she wanted a strong leader. My flaw has been being too vulnerable when things get tough which makes it seem like I do not have a grip on the situation at hand. This lead to destroying safety which in turn topples the pillars. I can see how this can manifest itself in many forms.
Hey Geoffrey, thanks for going in-depth about vulnerability. Very insightful and helpful;. I also saw all 8 videos about internal shifts and man they are Deep and Powerful; Could you make more videos about the 14 illusions and concrete examples, looms, and auto-suggestions we can use to make the shifts 🧠. I really appreciate your immense effort and work 💪
This is so powerful. When I started to work on myself and work through my addictions, I opened the floodgates. Told her all the things that i felt had made me the way i was. It didn't help, and i started to be a victim in my mind. This explains exactly what happened.
Geoffrey, please help me. I’m always doing chores and running errands for my wife to be helpful but I’m constantly prioritizing the wrong chores or doing things wrong. Whenever I hear about her frustration (sometimes 10 times a day and it’s been daily for a long time), I get defensive or I apologize. If I get defensive and explain why I did something or why I did it a certain way, I’m a jerk and didn’t sympathize with her. When I apologize, even doing so in detail explaining how I see where she’s coming from, she’s, “tired of hearing I’m Sorry,” because it is incredibly often. Is there a third option or am I doomed to fuck up daily tasks then make her more mad responding to her being upset? I swear, this pattern makes me wonder if I have an IQ of 50. I forget so much stuff and make the wrong decisions on little stuff that irritates her all the time. I just want to be helpful.
Off topic question, I consumed “black pilled content “ when I was younger around 12-13 and I feel like it has been ingrained deep into my subconscious I cannot help but feel like deep down everything is just related to the way u look how tall you are etc a thought in my head always remains that maybe if I was more attractive everything even these relationship conflicts would be easier and have developed a deep insecurity about my appearance , constantly worrying about it and thinking it’s not good enough etc , is this tackled in the program, what are some healthier reinterpretations for this
What if i done some good , mostly oushed her away always saying one or two wrong things to destroy safety....now shes filed and im in frefall but im not giving up on bpv and untethering ....im not sure why i didnt untether first....today is a new day to get it right
You can choose how to feel about something by choosing what you believe, and how you interpret it. You can choose your truth. Dude that is so powerful!
There are no bad emotion, it is how you respond, creating the problem. Being vulnerable is being authentic to your feeling and your feeling is your experience, no one should judge that. If a person invalid your experience, they are unsafe for you instead of self blaming urself *wrong way to vulnerable *
So you are saying that if I feel negatively about everything, I make everything into a drama, interpret everything with a victim mindset, and express all those negative feelings to my wife and kids, that is okay? And it is wrong for your wife or kids to tell you “Hey dad - we are feeling a bit negative, overwhelmed, and down in the dumps with all your negativity”? Would you really tell your wife and kids at this point “You have no right to judge what I feel/ what I feel is what I feel”? Imagine if you were dealing with a partner/parent/colleague/boss/friend like that. Can you still say the same? What were your takeaways from 5:10 onwards?
@@GeoffreySetiawan AGAIN , there are no bad emotions, it is the behaviour we response to our emotion causing all the trouble. Your example in the comment is not being emtional vulnerable , that is blaming / finger pointing / emotional dumping/ lose temper/ maladaptive behaviour / losing tempre / and are negative behaviour that hurting people. And it has nothing to do with emtional vlunerbility .
I have a query , arounf the 35:00 minute mark you said that we can choose a different interpretation and then have a different emotion but my question is that sometimes an emotion is intense and when I sit and try to observe it it does lose it’s intensity and so fo the negative thoughts and then I reintroduce healthier interpretations but those old paradigms do still linger a bit as I’ve had them for almost all my life so I still do feel a residual level of those negative thoughts and emotions but I just remind myself of the fact that changing beliefs is a long term process so I will still have those reflexively bad thoughts and emotions for some time . Am I going about this wrong or missing something ?
U have also stated in some of your videos that internal shifts are a falling outcome so does that mean I just do the process and then relax and not get frustrated when the negative thoughts appear because what u resist does persist .
@@ahmedshah5922 Great question! To me, it sounds like your reinterpretations aren't powerful enough to combat these old paradigms that are surfacing. The goal is to make your reinterpretations so strong that your old paradigms are rendered completely useless. The new/healthier paradigms are also meant to become a part of your reflexive thinking. Put another way... If I'm still bitter about the past, then have I fully moved on from the past? Have I truly overcome that past? Let me know your thoughts!
@@GeoffreySetiawan thank you you confirmed my suspicions because I was wondering if I am having to deal with the same problem again and again internally then I must not be dealing with it the right way . I need to find something deeper something with more gravity for me to beat those paradigms .
@@ahmedshah5922 Ahmed, Geoffrey is coming from a perspective of a relatively emotionally healthy individual that has some bad habits/bad perspectives that cause issues. His methods, while very useful, are insufficient to deal with some issues, such as shame from trauma. Research "shame" or "cptsd" from channels like HealthyGamerGG. Without a foundational self identity (which shame robs us of), no amount of perspective shift will be effective.
Find something so strong that it makes you tear up brother. That’s how I did it. I had to make myself feel that pain which I caused my family in order to understand how ridiculous I was. Just be sure that the positive reinforcer you add at the end of the auto suggestion is just as deep as the negative so that it sticks. Telling you, this stuff is gold. I am blown away still
Yeah when she asked for the break, I used to open up about how sorry I was and how bad i felt about the things I did wrong, constantly apologising about my side of the story till she didn't want to hear any more of them. To make things worse, after the break and breakup, when she got a new partner, she got angry that I changed only after she chose to breakup and worse still, I compared myself to her new partner and said that i could treat her better than her new BF😂😂,
Hey guys, hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts!
If you’d like to see if our program would be a good fit for you & what you NEED, be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited).
At the end of this masterclass, we will provide you instructions on how to apply for the program, and we will be able to honestly inform you if the program would be a good fit for you, or not!
Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! → urlgeni.us/MCEP156DS
Download the FREE GUIDE! → relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions
To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
I used to be a victim to this mistake . I would constantly be vulnerable to my partner and tell her how sad I am she’s looking for other people now or that she ended the relationship etc thinking if I show her how sad I actually am she’ll consider coming back . But she got so fed up to the point she told me to stop the pity party when I was crying 🤣🤣. It was only then I realized that if someone as kind as her was pushed to be so mean to a person who is crying then I must be doing something immensely wrong . If ur vulnerability is about the wrong things you will suck the life out of your partner trust me guys I have been there .
Bingo. It's not about the WHAT, it's about the HOW.
Women don't like vulnerable men. Women like STRONG men who are vulnerable.
Complaining all day isn't very attractive, is it :)
@@GeoffreySetiawanfacts because it just sends the message to ur partner that if he can’t manage his own shit how would be able to take care of mine .
Yup I did this , I'm in a dire situation but still growing
This shii is sooo beautiful… I be slippin up some times but im still locked n with my process to make myself better not worried about the outcome
Oh the stories bro. The STORIES 😂 what man do we know that hasn’t done this? Heck I am confident to say I haven’t met a man who doesn’t do most, if not all, of the the safety destroying “habits” discussed on the channel.
That’s why your channel and program are gold Geoffrey. It isn’t so simple as “saving relationships” anymore, it’s bigger than that. Than us. These behaviors are engrained in people, both genders, and I kid you not when I say I now receive admiration from do many people just through the internal shifts and attempted SOC alone. I am not perfect, hell…nowhere near it but I see the flow of affection from others directed at me now. I know I am finally on the right path, only took 8 months haha!
Let me finish the video, just had to say that 10 minutes in.
Love to hear it, looking forward to more of your thoughts once you finish the video!
First comment 😀😀 I’m a minute in and I know this is gonna be amazing 🔥👍🏾 thank brother Geoffrey!!! The best lifestyle coach out there!! Let’s go brother
Appreciate the compliment, my guy!
Don't forget to let me know what makes this video a banger for you ;)
I started watching Geoff in the beginning of January 2023.. and when i saw his videos, in my head i found the golden answer that i needed for building a thriving relationship.. I’m not a client in the program but i’m an obsessed individual in growing myself/soft skills that I didn’t know about because i’m someone who grew up from the norms of a traditional guy who only know how to provide the lowest standards like financial, effort and time.. but not in the area of safety emotionally and psychologically..
Me and my partner broke up Sept of 2022 and we dated for 6 years.. After 2 years she reached out to me and we met yesterday to catch up and see where we’re at.. i used all my youtube knowledge to create the perfect environment for her to feel safe and open up wounds from the past and guess what.. She let her emotions flow.. She cried and laughed with me and we talked for hours and just letting her express herself.. I’m not saying we’re getting back together instantly whatsoever but the fact that Geoff’s videos helped a lot to execute my changes really says something about his principles..
Keep up the good work guys and never stop growing.. coz this program works.
Love to hear it :)
Keep creating the perfect environment for your partner and double down on creating even more massive changes for your partner to see!
Thanks Geoff,
Misunderstanding emotional vulnerability and how it can be dangerous when fueled by a victim mindset was definable one of the things in my blind spot that has been continuously destroying safety for years now. My partner always said she wanted a strong leader. My flaw has been being too vulnerable when things get tough which makes it seem like I do not have a grip on the situation at hand. This lead to destroying safety which in turn topples the pillars. I can see how this can manifest itself in many forms.
Hey Geoffrey, thanks for going in-depth about vulnerability. Very insightful and helpful;. I also saw all 8 videos about internal shifts and man they are Deep and Powerful; Could you make more videos about the 14 illusions and concrete examples, looms, and auto-suggestions we can use to make the shifts 🧠. I really appreciate your immense effort and work 💪
Most realistic Sigma video possible
This is so powerful. When I started to work on myself and work through my addictions, I opened the floodgates. Told her all the things that i felt had made me the way i was. It didn't help, and i started to be a victim in my mind.
This explains exactly what happened.
Geoffrey, please help me. I’m always doing chores and running errands for my wife to be helpful but I’m constantly prioritizing the wrong chores or doing things wrong. Whenever I hear about her frustration (sometimes 10 times a day and it’s been daily for a long time), I get defensive or I apologize. If I get defensive and explain why I did something or why I did it a certain way, I’m a jerk and didn’t sympathize with her. When I apologize, even doing so in detail explaining how I see where she’s coming from, she’s, “tired of hearing I’m Sorry,” because it is incredibly often. Is there a third option or am I doomed to fuck up daily tasks then make her more mad responding to her being upset? I swear, this pattern makes me wonder if I have an IQ of 50. I forget so much stuff and make the wrong decisions on little stuff that irritates her all the time. I just want to be helpful.
Off topic question, I consumed “black pilled content “ when I was younger around 12-13 and I feel like it has been ingrained deep into my subconscious I cannot help but feel like deep down everything is just related to the way u look how tall you are etc a thought in my head always remains that maybe if I was more attractive everything even these relationship conflicts would be easier and have developed a deep insecurity about my appearance , constantly worrying about it and thinking it’s not good enough etc , is this tackled in the program, what are some healthier reinterpretations for this
What if i done some good , mostly oushed her away always saying one or two wrong things to destroy safety....now shes filed and im in frefall but im not giving up on bpv and untethering ....im not sure why i didnt untether first....today is a new day to get it right
You can choose how to feel about something by choosing what you believe, and how you interpret it. You can choose your truth. Dude that is so powerful!
It is massively powerful indeed! Just goes to show that nothing is good or bad unless we MAKE it so :)
All emotions are equal and just like the gears in your car.
Sounds too complicated 😕.
There are no bad emotion, it is how you respond, creating the problem. Being vulnerable is being authentic to your feeling and your feeling is your experience, no one should judge that.
If a person invalid your experience, they are unsafe for you instead of self blaming urself *wrong way to vulnerable *
So you are saying that if I feel negatively about everything, I make everything into a drama, interpret everything with a victim mindset, and express all those negative feelings to my wife and kids, that is okay?
And it is wrong for your wife or kids to tell you “Hey dad - we are feeling a bit negative, overwhelmed, and down in the dumps with all your negativity”?
Would you really tell your wife and kids at this point “You have no right to judge what I feel/ what I feel is what I feel”?
Imagine if you were dealing with a partner/parent/colleague/boss/friend like that. Can you still say the same?
What were your takeaways from 5:10 onwards?
@@GeoffreySetiawan AGAIN , there are no bad emotions, it is the behaviour we response to our emotion causing all the trouble. Your example in the comment is not being emtional vulnerable , that is blaming / finger pointing / emotional dumping/ lose temper/ maladaptive behaviour / losing tempre / and are negative behaviour that hurting people. And it has nothing to do with emtional vlunerbility .
I have a query , arounf the 35:00 minute mark you said that we can choose a different interpretation and then have a different emotion but my question is that sometimes an emotion is intense and when I sit and try to observe it it does lose it’s intensity and so fo the negative thoughts and then I reintroduce healthier interpretations but those old paradigms do still linger a bit as I’ve had them for almost all my life so I still do feel a residual level of those negative thoughts and emotions but I just remind myself of the fact that changing beliefs is a long term process so I will still have those reflexively bad thoughts and emotions for some time . Am I going about this wrong or missing something ?
U have also stated in some of your videos that internal shifts are a falling outcome so does that mean I just do the process and then relax and not get frustrated when the negative thoughts appear because what u resist does persist .
@@ahmedshah5922 Great question!
To me, it sounds like your reinterpretations aren't powerful enough to combat these old paradigms that are surfacing.
The goal is to make your reinterpretations so strong that your old paradigms are rendered completely useless. The new/healthier paradigms are also meant to become a part of your reflexive thinking.
Put another way...
If I'm still bitter about the past, then have I fully moved on from the past? Have I truly overcome that past?
Let me know your thoughts!
@@GeoffreySetiawan thank you you confirmed my suspicions because I was wondering if I am having to deal with the same problem again and again internally then I must not be dealing with it the right way . I need to find something deeper something with more gravity for me to beat those paradigms .
@@ahmedshah5922 Ahmed, Geoffrey is coming from a perspective of a relatively emotionally healthy individual that has some bad habits/bad perspectives that cause issues. His methods, while very useful, are insufficient to deal with some issues, such as shame from trauma. Research "shame" or "cptsd" from channels like HealthyGamerGG. Without a foundational self identity (which shame robs us of), no amount of perspective shift will be effective.
Find something so strong that it makes you tear up brother. That’s how I did it. I had to make myself feel that pain which I caused my family in order to understand how ridiculous I was. Just be sure that the positive reinforcer you add at the end of the auto suggestion is just as deep as the negative so that it sticks.
Telling you, this stuff is gold. I am blown away still
Yeah when she asked for the break, I used to open up about how sorry I was and how bad i felt about the things I did wrong, constantly apologising about my side of the story till she didn't want to hear any more of them.
To make things worse, after the break and breakup, when she got a new partner, she got angry that I changed only after she chose to breakup and worse still, I compared myself to her new partner and said that i could treat her better than her new BF😂😂,