Mad respect for you Matt. I love how you realized hating drains your energy, and made an honest decision to keep your father in your life. Sounds like you’ve both grown significantly. Keep takin care man!
You're a wise man who has learned a lot from experience. A situation such as yours shows growth on both sides, though, so don't give up. PS: You're a Navy guy so I guess your taco recommendation is in southern Virginia (I'm in northern Virginia). Love hearing your stories.
I love how some grandma's have your back. I know mine did. My dad was more understanding than my mom, but my mom and I have a great relationship now. Stuff just takes time.
There is a difference between hating someone and letting the hate go, and keeping someone in your life only because they are family. If he doesn't bring anything positive to your life, let him go. You shouldn't have to fight for his acceptance, love of a parent is unconditional.
Honestly your videos are amazing and this is amazing. You are human and people also just get stuff done. People change and sometimes you will also see as time goes on who knows what could happen.
Both of my parents were difficult and complicated people. As a young adult, I yearned to have normal loving relationships and I stretched too far with forgiveness. Later in life the effects of having had a traumatic childhood came up more forcefully, And I had to retract some of that forgiveness because I hadn't fully known what it was I was excusing. Did your father ever apologize for putting you through that?
How great. I could identify, my Pop preferrd my bro, was rejecting, verbally abusive. Big difference, he humbled himself, apoligized, he became a good friend. Much later. Your folks did one thing right: your permission to hate him is a sign of pure self acceptance, which somehow they facilitated by fully accepting you, despite the apparent incompatibilities. My ma/sis were the physically abusive ones, alas, i had no self acceptance, turned people pleaser, not even feeling my emotions. Needed lots o therapy. Really appreciate your take on step parents. Nice touches: barking dog, cawwing crow
The best year of my teen years was the year my dad didn’t speed to me. He was just a very negative, verbally abusive person, often leaving me in tears in the evening when I was in middle school. In high school I was getting good grades, I was racing go-karts, I was involved in scouting. And I had a boy friend. I think my parents figured it out, but didn’t confront me, but dad just quit talking to me. It was a relief because when he was talking to me it was all negative and hurtful. This was my junior year, and I was blossoming as an adult person. We finally began communicating my senior year.
I am very happy if you get along with your father again. I'm a gay man from Germany, older than you, could be your father myself. At the age of 16 or 17 I went through a similar situation. That was back in the 1980s when gays didn't have the kind of representation they have today. I now get along well with my father, but that took many years. What was particularly bad for me at the time is that my mother and her mother, my grandmother, were also against me and they also spoke on my behalf about how difficult life would be for me. But I didn't had a hard time, at least not because I'm gay. There were completely different issues.The "protective" family was my biggest enemy back then. Anyway, yesterday's news.
You are so amazing and I hope you and your partner will have a wonderful life together. It's great that you and your father are getting back together. As a father, my kids meen the world to me. And it was the opposite for myself. They had to to come to except me as being gay and coming out late in life. Keep working on maintaining your relationship with all your parents and siblings. You have to be you and it's great they can support you.
Relationships are work. We want our parents to be all accepting no matter what the circumstances, but that's not realistic. You want your dad to be a certain way that he is incapable of being. He wants you to be a certain way that you are incapable of being. Where do you go from there? You start by gaining complete independence so you don't need to rely on each other for anything. Then you keep the communication open and let go of anything that happened in the past. The rest will resolve itself in all likelihood.
I don't think close-mindedness and latent homophobia need respect, in absolute terms. Reality is unfortunately often not suitable to living according to one's principles, so as long as you can still live your life to the fullest and without hindrance, it's probably not a big deal that your father is still not fully accepting. Many LGBT (or other people, like people leaving their parents' religion) have to not hurt their parents, their family and their community's feelings in order to be able to still keep some semblance of relationship alive. We can just hope that the next generation will be less hateful than the previous generation.
2:22 It's so strange that teenagers or young adults are simply sent off home. Or even kicked out. And everybody expects that teenagers and young adults move out by themselves as well. Only American families and lion prides chase their young away. 😒
Hi Matthew, I know the feeling you have for your dad. But you shouldn't hate you dad. I'm 76 and my dad and my dad and I had nothing in common at all. I'm gay and I had a brother and a sister. My dad gave us all a nick name when we were born. My bother he gave the nick of bull fog, my sister he gave the nick of froggy and me later on he me the nick of Mary. He used to treat my mother like dirt so I stopped talking to him. I wouldn't speak to him at all. He later on became ill and had to go into the hospital. and he died in the hospital with me not speaking to him. My dad never loved any of us kids.
And sometimes a father can just be an absolute scumbag not worthy of your consideration, let alone love. I'm not talking about my father in particular.
I think you may have used the title of this video for its shock value. I feel you should consider renaming it, especially since you have reconciled with him. Other than that, good video for the most part.
![A Boogie Wit da Hoodie - Body (feat. Cash Cobain) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RMT3AlAs0r8/mqdefault.jpg)
Mad respect for you Matt. I love how you realized hating drains your energy, and made an honest decision to keep your father in your life. Sounds like you’ve both grown significantly. Keep takin care man!
Basically, I ditto this remark 1000%.
You're a wise man who has learned a lot from experience. A situation such as yours shows growth on both sides, though, so don't give up. PS: You're a Navy guy so I guess your taco recommendation is in southern Virginia (I'm in northern Virginia). Love hearing your stories.
I love how some grandma's have your back. I know mine did. My dad was more understanding than my mom, but my mom and I have a great relationship now. Stuff just takes time.
This is the best haircut for you!
Awesome guy. Exciting to be let in on your journey. Thank you very much.
There is a difference between hating someone and letting the hate go, and keeping someone in your life only because they are family. If he doesn't bring anything positive to your life, let him go. You shouldn't have to fight for his acceptance, love of a parent is unconditional.
Honestly your videos are amazing and this is amazing. You are human and people also just get stuff done. People change and sometimes you will also see as time goes on who knows what could happen.
Both of my parents were difficult and complicated people. As a young adult, I yearned to have normal loving relationships and I stretched too far with forgiveness.
Later in life the effects of having had a traumatic childhood came up more forcefully, And I had to retract some of that forgiveness because I hadn't fully known what it was I was excusing.
Did your father ever apologize for putting you through that?
How great. I could identify, my Pop preferrd my bro, was rejecting, verbally abusive. Big difference, he humbled himself, apoligized, he became a good friend. Much later. Your folks did one thing right: your permission to hate him is a sign of pure self acceptance, which somehow they facilitated by fully accepting you, despite the apparent incompatibilities. My ma/sis were the physically abusive ones, alas, i had no self acceptance, turned people pleaser, not even feeling my emotions. Needed lots o therapy. Really appreciate your take on step parents. Nice touches: barking dog, cawwing crow
The best year of my teen years was the year my dad didn’t speed to me. He was just a very negative, verbally abusive person, often leaving me in tears in the evening when I was in middle school. In high school I was getting good grades, I was racing go-karts, I was involved in scouting. And I had a boy friend. I think my parents figured it out, but didn’t confront me, but dad just quit talking to me. It was a relief because when he was talking to me it was all negative and hurtful. This was my junior year, and I was blossoming as an adult person.
We finally began communicating my senior year.
How often do you change your hair? You look handsome either way😊
Hi Matt, I've been really enjoying your videos; you're an amazing person. I hope you continue to make more videos. Hope you're doing great!
Great video handsome. Always a treat to see you.
I am very happy if you get along with your father again. I'm a gay man from Germany, older than you, could be your father myself. At the age of 16 or 17 I went through a similar situation. That was back in the 1980s when gays didn't have the kind of representation they have today. I now get along well with my father, but that took many years. What was particularly bad for me at the time is that my mother and her mother, my grandmother, were also against me and they also spoke on my behalf about how difficult life would be for me. But I didn't had a hard time, at least not because I'm gay. There were completely different issues.The "protective" family was my biggest enemy back then. Anyway, yesterday's news.
You are so amazing and I hope you and your partner will have a wonderful life together. It's great that you and your father are getting back together. As a father, my kids meen the world to me. And it was the opposite for myself. They had to to come to except me as being gay and coming out late in life. Keep working on maintaining your relationship with all your parents and siblings. You have to be you and it's great they can support you.
@Tiago Baenre actually it should be boyfriend, fiance. As they are not married yet apparently, they are not husband and husband.
@Tiago Baenre does it really matter lol
Relationships are work. We want our parents to be all accepting no matter what the circumstances, but that's not realistic. You want your dad to be a certain way that he is incapable of being. He wants you to be a certain way that you are incapable of being. Where do you go from there? You start by gaining complete independence so you don't need to rely on each other for anything. Then you keep the communication open and let go of anything that happened in the past. The rest will resolve itself in all likelihood.
I wish every happiness for you.
Hey Mattie, I get it. I was in your position with my father. You have my deepest respect and admiration, more than you ever know. ❤️😘
I don't think close-mindedness and latent homophobia need respect, in absolute terms. Reality is unfortunately often not suitable to living according to one's principles, so as long as you can still live your life to the fullest and without hindrance, it's probably not a big deal that your father is still not fully accepting. Many LGBT (or other people, like people leaving their parents' religion) have to not hurt their parents, their family and their community's feelings in order to be able to still keep some semblance of relationship alive. We can just hope that the next generation will be less hateful than the previous generation.
2:22 It's so strange that teenagers or young adults are simply sent off home. Or even kicked out. And everybody expects that teenagers and young adults move out by themselves as well. Only American families and lion prides chase their young away. 😒
thanks for the videos.
Matthew, you have a lot of beautiful comments on RUclips.
Hi Matthew, I know the feeling you have for your dad. But you shouldn't hate you dad. I'm 76 and my dad and my dad and I had nothing in common at all. I'm gay and I had a brother and a sister. My dad gave us all a nick name when we were born. My bother he gave the nick of bull fog, my sister he gave the nick of froggy and me later on he me the nick of Mary. He used to treat my mother like dirt so I stopped talking to him. I wouldn't speak to him at all. He later on became ill and had to go into the hospital. and he died in the hospital with me not speaking to him. My dad never loved any of us kids.
Sam, I hope you are feeling okay. I'm the same age as you.
And sometimes a father can just be an absolute scumbag not worthy of your consideration, let alone love. I'm not talking about my father in particular.
🙌
Your father should definitely apologize. He's completely at fault. You should never treat your children badly.
I wish I was as smart as you (at your age).
Matthew, I are one beautiful you man.
❤
Didn't hate my dad...just didn't like him and never had contact with him and then he died. No emotional reaction from me. Didn't care.
I think you may have used the title of this video for its shock value. I feel you should consider renaming it, especially since you have reconciled with him. Other than that, good video for the most part.