Caroline's Cancer Journal - Episode 4
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 23 янв 2024
- It’s funny how anticipatory grief messes with the human mind - and in part, I think, that’s because it is so…big. Its tentacles reach into the deepest pockets of our emotions, yet we can’t put a single word to the feeling. So, in turn, our minds scramble for a word that will put this…thing, this monster under the bed, into a shape we can identify, a feeling we can give a name to. And on certain days, like today, shame, guilt and regret wrestle for the spotlight. Sharing these moments with you remind me to be OK with what I can’t control, and release all the nonsense that goes along with it. Just another Thursday with Caroline - this is what we do.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
🔔 Don't forget to subscribe and ring that bell! 🔔
Join this channel to get access to perks:
/ @jacksongalaxy
😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺
🐈⬛ Calling all pet parents! 🐈⬛
Share your video moments with me...and maybe the world!
Upload your clips here ▶︎ www.jacksongalaxy.com/submit
😺 My Favorite Cat Products (naturally!) 😺
►jacksongalaxy.com
🐈 Follow Me Here! 🐈
INSTAGRAM ► / thecatdaddy
FACEBOOK ► www. JacksonGalaxy
TWITTER ► / jacksongalaxy
TIKTOK ► / jacksongalaxy
REDDIT ► / jackson-galaxy
😻 The Jackson Galaxy Project 😻
We make a difference for at-risk animals and the people who care for them. Join us!
► www.thejacksongalaxyproject.org/
#JacksonGalaxy #Cat #Advice 
Животные
Sir you have no idea,what a huge favour you are doing for pet parents like us.. preparing us for the inevitable…by documenting this.. what a sacrifice.. to put yourself out there during this phase of vulnerability.. this is soo appreciated.. gratitude🙏🏻🙏🏻💙💙🥹🥹🥹 lots of love to Caroline & you.
I truly feel that you are doing the right thing. As a retired nurse & having lost many family members, humans & pets, there just comes a time when it’s best to let them go & let them have the best quality of life they can until she’s gone. Anything else would totally upset her & she wouldn’t understand. Let her go peacefully. ❤
You’re wrong. I’ve been a Cardiothoracic ICU nurse for over sixteen years. I’ve cared for thousands of critically ill and/or dying people. “Doing something” in cases in which medical intervention is not likely to change the eventual outcome is usually not a good thing. Because the things you need to do to someone are invasive, uncomfortable, and often painful.
Medical intervention is “worth it” when there is a statistically significant chance of it resulting in a good outcome. But if there is virtually zero chance of that, no matter what, then “doing everything” can cause an immense amount of unnecessary suffering. Believe me, I’ve seen that suffering firsthand in a way that most people never will.
We rejoice when we have a “good outcome”. And we think that involves the restoration of health. But some of the best outcome I’ve ever had the privilege of witnessing is when a family comes together, recognizes the limits of what human medicine is capable of, and chooses to honor the patient’s wish to face the inevitable with grace and love and dignity. Death is not good or bad…it’s not a “failure”. It’s a natural part of life for all living things.
Jackson isn’t doing what HE wants. He’s doing what he knows Caroline would want. His decision isn’t some kind of cash grab” like you imply…it’s a gut wrenching and incredibly loving and selfless decision on Jackson’s part. Caroline could not ask for a better human guardian.
@@bobkuzyk5562I hope you have no pets.
@@bobkuzyk5562what an incredibly heartless comment. You’re entitled to your opinion but really?
@@bobkuzyk5562Sometimes it is better to keep quiet instead of posting a negative hurtful comment.
Caroline knows daddy is upset and is giving him love.
Spot on. Our cats also comfort us in our own sorrows. Thank you for that comment. ❤
who wouldn't be? It has to be so so awful to know, the end is near for someone you love so much and yet try to give it all you have and enjoy every single second that remains. DAMN IT.
We nursed our gorgeous “Marbles” through cancer, those long, heart wrenching days and nights spent with him, I’ll never forget but so privileged to have shared and spent them with him, “ALWAYS OUR MARBLES ❤”
Our thoughts and love are with you all, from Sunderland in the north east of England x
She is happy and content with her fur daddy❤❤❤..she knows she is loved...forever. you are such a great person...❤
@@Brigada91RealBriggyI know personally, how it feels, it's incredibly hard! 😢
She’s so sweet lying there. I wish you and Caroline the best Jackson and you both are in my thoughts and prayers. ❤🙏🐱
Thank you
My thoughts exactly 😢
So many comments here I doubt you’ll see this but I’m compelled to share this with you. Caroline wants her spot. The spot she holds in your hearts 🥰 There is no greater love than giving her the peace you are. Big hugs my friend and skritches for Caroline 💞
That was expressed so beautifully❤
❤❤❤❤Thank you! Perfectly expressed!
I spent 5 days 24/7 with my cat Seabiscuit while he was actively dying. We sat on my bed & he had his own bed next to me. He died on my 65th birthday! I miss him so much, but I know I gave him comfort and I know he was glad to have me there. Thanks Jackson!
01:36 - _"There were so many times where I could have but didn't"_
...I immediately paused the video to spend a few moments with my cat that was sleeping in the next room.
Thanks for the reminder. Ought to do this way, way more often.
I'm glad that resonated with you, too!
I really resonated when you spoke about our lower self-talk. I made a decision to euthanize my cat who had massive internal bleeding which would have been very time consuming, expensive and potentially painful to identify and address. I knew I can very easily go into self-recrimination and let's face it hate afterwards. So I made up and wrote down a mantra, wrote it on sticky notes posted all over my house to have ready whenever I sensed myself going to that bad place. It was something like: "Sweet Pea, I have loved you from the moment I met you and continue to love you. You have given me so much, and now I release you with love and boundless gratitude remembering and appreciating the years we had together. Thank you dear friend for all you have given me. Love always" There were times when I wanted to blame myself for doing it wrong, being selfish etc, etc. I would then hold and read out loud the mantra, often sobbing, and repeat it (often many times) until I was peaceful and could remember the love we shared. It helped me to move through the grieving process, instead of getting stuck there.
Oh, that is simply, Divinely, wonderful. And wise, and beautiful. That was soul-to-soul talk. I will remember this ... Thank you very much for sharing this.
@@jeandixon586 anything we can do to get out of the spiral of self-hate and fear and replace it with love and gratitude is a great practice. Thank you!
🐱⚘
❤
I love what you wrote.👍🏻❤️. I still from time to time have guilt for not helping my cat cross the rainbow bridge when we should have instead, I got selfish and kept her alive a little longer and she did get worse and hardly could walk. My Callie was 21 when we did put her down and I actually felt peace when she went in my arms. I think it could have been her way of thanking me for doing the right things finally for her. I do still miss her and I need to let go of that guilt cause she’s been gone for at least four yrs but I’ll lays miss her. I think all that matters was she was happy right up to the end. Thank you for your words. God bless you and everyone who has had to put a pet down. Sue M. Florida 🙏❤️☺️😺
Having experienced that anticipatory grief more than once, my heart goes out to you, Jackson. I realize it probably doesn't feel like it to you right now, but you're moving through this situation with a great deal of courage, grace, and above all, love. You're giving Caroline the very best you can give her. Sending comforting energy your way.
I didn't feel like playing with my catboy Chaz today. But then I thought of you & Caroline and I looked at Chaz, as he was on the bed, wanting my attention & with those lovely green eyes, begging me to play with him, I just smiled and said "Ok crazy cat" and grabbed one of his 3 favorite chase toys and he ran all over the bed, jumped, & swatted until he finally let me know he was hungry. So I gave him his lunch, then treats in his treat puzzle. He is now on our bed ("our" meaning it is both my bed & Chaz's) resting comfortably on his favorite blanket, watching the squirrels & birds outside the bedroom window. And I am sure, fall asleep dreaming of the chase.
Thank you, Jackson ❤. You have taught me to be present in those "regular moments" that we do take advantage of. For I know one day (Chaz will be 10 in February. He rescued me 4 years ago), I will give anything to see my "crazy cat" running on the bed, chasing his tail, and look at me with those piercing green eyes that say "Come on mom, play with me" and cry.
Caroline & you will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.❤
Tracy, thank-you for your words. My cat girl, Etta, is 10 and a half. She comes to me, sits and stares, and I know exactly what she wants. "Please come play with me on top of our bed!" I will not tell her "later sweetpea" ever again.
And she is purring so loudly. Such a doll baby.
I am determined to be by your side for this journey. I lost my fur baby, Hemitagalapenia (med term for half tail small), an American Bobtail mix from lymphoma Jan 2021. Her tumor was in her neck and was diagnosed Jan 4. She did not make a month. But, the former hospice nurse in me knew to make the time about quality. When I woke up in the early hours listening to her struggle to breathe and unable to easily swollow (both changes from the day before) I called my vet. We made an appointment for the following day. She got her favorite stuff. And she fell into her forever sleep in our arms. I'm sure many of your followers have similar stories. Now the tables are turned Jackson. We are your support group. We will be there with you. We will help you and Caroline through this. We got you.
Absolutely beautifully stated Lisa and so so sorry for your liss🙏🙏
❤
I'm sorry for your loss. Beautiful words
Yes like I've been saying we are here for you.
That is so lovely and you are right; we're right there.❤❤❤
You are not “just in the watching “ you are gifting her and yourself love and comfort, and peace. Who could ask for more? Beautiful girl
I just love how much you care for your babies. Caroline is so lucky to have you guys. When you love your animal it really is special to have those moments that you mentioned, the ones that you see that you take for granted, captured. It's so important. Lots of love to you guys.
Thank you for the kind words
@@JacksonGalaxy 🩷 we love in this household
My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. Our fur babies are our children. Just love her.❤
They absolutely are our children
You know, if more of us humans approached life and life's issues with the honesty, depth and integrity that this man does, our world would be elevated to a heavenly "spot". Caroline, you chose your human well. We love your human, and we love you, baby girl.
Death became taboo while medical knowledgeand treatments evolved.
We need to remind ourselves that there is no life without death, no love without hurt.
It is so hard to let our babies go. All my "children" have told me when they are ready. If you are a good listener, you will hear their wordless cries; it's time for me to go. They know we are hurting, but hanging on is hurting us both. It's hard to tell anyone how to hear that message, but if you are in spiritual tune with your kitty, you will know. Each has told me in a different way. Miss Kitty, who had never been much to make the first move for pets, answered my question with a kiss. Lying on the bed with us, I asked her if she was ready, & to my astonishment, she got up, walked up to where I lay, & touched her nose to my cheek. She had been suffering, silently, as cats do. Listen, with your heart. Remember cats are stoic, & you may miss her message. Do not allow suffering to go on, as you hang onto them. I feel your grief, may your heart be comforted as you say goodbye. I still cry & miss my Smokey. He suffered too long. Not long after I noticed his limpint from arthritis, he went off his food, then stopped eating & drinking, & slept hidden away in a darkened corner under my desk. I tried everything, & after having to hydrate him subcutaneously, I knew I couldn't do it anymore. The needle stick wasn't supposed to hurt, but it did, & I could not let him suffer & die. I held him as the vet lovingly guided him into his final sleep. I cry. It hurts so much.
Mr. Bugs made it abundantly clear because he started randomly screaming at the top of his lungs along with the weight loss and the bloodwork. Still the most difficult decision to make. But, you have to set yourself aside and do what is right for your furry.
@@bugsbunny2357 Oh, that screaming had to have broken your heart to pieces. Brings tears. So sorry. Life can be too cruel. You knew what had to be done. God bless you too with peace.
It's been wild to look back and realize all of my babies were telling me it was time before I knew it. Every single one of them sat next to me and stared deeply into my eyes the days prior to their passing. They knew. I was blindsided but I've found a lot of comfort knowing they were letting me know it was okay. It was their time. And I will be forever grateful for the one-on-one soul time I got with each of them.
😭 I still miss my boy. I always will.
@@evalynn1863 Gosh, it is strange isn't it? The night before my Billy passed, he did not sleep with me for the first time ever. Then the next morning, he sat at the bathroom door when I showered and stared weirdly at me. That evening, he had massive seizures, and died about seven hours later. On some level, he knew what was coming, even though not showing any signs. Other kitties have given me "the look" of "I have had enough now, it's time". Every one of them have their individual signs I guess. For my 10yo chicken, I had to call it, she was just in so much physical pain, it was 'time'. She, like cats, was rather stoic, but it was clear things were going from worse to worse.
The sweetness in her eyes…I’m melting❤
So bittersweet
❤
Hospice care is so hard and so valuable. Thank you for sharing this experience, difficult as it is for you, Caroline, and for all of us who have furry family (any family, for that matter). We're here for you, Jackson, as you have always been here for us. This is what we do ❤
My little 12 year old kitty girl, Ali, was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer today. She has chronic pancreatitis and diabetes, which is managed fairly well. We did an abdominal ultrasound a week ago in an effort to diagnose some mystery cystitis episodes she had been having, and a small cyst was discovered on her pancreas. Pathology report came back as cancer. I have also chosen palliative care as the kindest choice for this sweet girl. Prognosis is 4 - 6 months. Thank you, Jackson for sharing your journey with Caroline. I find comfort from viewing your videos. I feel like I’m not alone.
I can relate, I lost my girl Tigerlily to cancer at only 12 years old just last November. Idk which exact cancer because by the time it was even discovered, it had already metastisized to other surrounding organs so they couldn't tell which cancer it was without running even more expensive biopsy tests to determine which exact cancer it was, and by that point there wasn't any real point to knowing which cancer because it wouldn't have made any difference in her prognosis. It was on the pancreas, it was all over her liver in nodules, and also on the lymph node closest to those organs. So surgery was impossible, radiation therapy wasn't an option due to no vet hospitals in my city having the equipment for radiation therapy in my city (of all things for a medium sized city to not even have 🙄), and the vet said chemo wouldn't have been much help at that point either. My only choice was to go straight to palliative care and try to make her as comfortable as possible until the end.
Before that I DID lose a dog to pancreatic cancer though, also at 12 years.
I understand how hard this is, I'm still grieving and watching Jackson's videos of Caroline's cancer feels like re-opening the wound that had scabbed over. Whatever time you may still have left with her is precious. Give yourself as much time as you need to grieve and process. I believe our pets can feel our love and I'm sure your loving on her brings comfort during this time. The closer to the end she gets, you can treat her to her favourite meals and treats that she may not normally get except on special occasions. This is a good occasion to treat her (within reason ofc, like so long as it doesn't cause extra discomfort). Talk to her more, play her calming music or cat tv videos you can find on RUclips, heck even sing to her if you think she'll like that sort of thing. My condolences 🙏🏻
@@tenshimoon my heart aches for you and your sweet Tigerlily. Sadly I did not have the time I expected to lavish extra love on my sweet Ali. On February 3, I had her euthanized at home as I held her in my arms. She was fine that morning when we woke up and did all of our morning rituals. But when she was eating her breakfast she started gagging and swiping at her mouth like she was in pain. Otherwise she seemed fine. I couldn’t see anything in her mouth that looked abnormal. She wanted very badly to eat and have treats but any swallowing started the gagging and swiping. It was 6AM so her vet wasn’t open yet and I knew we were looking at more vet trips and likely more testing all of which traumatized this sweet kitty to the max.
She had been a special needs kitty From the time she was a year old. Food allergies, chronic UTI’s, IBD and pancreatitis were a way of life for us. Keeping her little body in balance was a full-time job. We had a wonderful holistic vet who helped us do this until his practice closed a couple of years ago. Her new holistic vet actually referred us to a wonderful conventional practice closer to our home because she knew Ali was at a point where she would need access to more immediate treatment and testing than her practice had available. It was a good call. We’d been in and out of the vet for one reason or another almost monthly in the past year. Her little body was tired of fighting to stay balanced.
This little kitty girl loved eating her food and her treats more than any cat I’ve ever had. If something was happening that made eating a misery for her I couldn’t let her or myself live with that. So I scheduled the euthanasia for late afternoon that day. We had about 10 hours together snuggling a lot and playing a bit and I took videos of her walking around on the kitchen counters talking to me while I told her how much I love her and what a sweet beautiful baby girl she was. I thanked her for choosing me to be her human Mom and guardian and sharing her sweet energy with me while she was here.
Her litter mate brother Aries and I are in deep mourning. I question whether I may have let her go too soon, but I knew her remaining time was short and I didn’t want her to suffer for those remaining months. It was a terrible choice to have to make. I’m a senior widow who lives alone with my cats who I rescued when they were found in the rain at 5 weeks old 13 years ago. They are like my children. They are the focus of my life and keep me grounded. My heart is broken. I have good days Nd bad days of grieving. I know it will get better. As painful as it is, I’m glad I had her love and was able to love her for 13 years. Thank you for reaching out and sharing your grief. It helps me to express mine. Our lives are so enriched by our animal family members. ♥️🐈⬛♥️🐈⬛
Bottom line, Jackson, is that she’s loved - and she knows it. You’re both in my thoughts and prayers.🙏❤️🙏❤️
"She's peaceful". She is and what a gift to her that is. People are inherently problem solvers, so not-doing is a tough thing. But there is power in holding space and enjoying these special moments. I think Caroline must be really proud of her human parents and revelling in all the love you're laying on her at this time. Much love to you all ❤
I’m on a similar journey with my sweet baby, Parker Blue. I hear you. Cuddles and kisses help us both. Trying to not freak out and reminding myself sh is here with me in this moment. I won’t waste this moment. Sending love. ❤❤❤❤❤
I lost my sweet Isabella (Issy) last February. She was 18 years old. It was so hard when it came to her end times. She was my little soul sister. We slept close every night. It's almost a year now since she's went over the rainbow bridge and my heart still misses her so much. It's never easy to let go of those we love.
The look on her kitty face and in her eyes as she looks at you.... her love for you shines!!
Stay strong, Jackson! When my beloved cat had died in September of 2015, I read your book "Cat Daddy" for consolation to bring me over that very difficult time. Thank you :-)
Sending you love little baby ❤❤❤
I sat with my cat too for several months before I had to make the decision, which after 18.5 years wasn’t easy, but I have no regrets and cherish the time spent with him❤
Making this video shows enormous generosity of spirit. Any of us who’ve lost a precious pet suffer privately. by sharing you were anticipatory grief and the kindness and caring you’re giving Caroline, you help heal us all. Death brings guilt, even if there’s no reason for any guilt. You’re doing all the right things. Best to you and your family and all your kitties.
I understand, jackson. My heart cat, the LOVE of my life got cancer and we kept her on steroids for a time and it helped but eventually the cancer overtook her. We had to help her across the rainbow bridge. When the decision was made I had 3 days until it was scheduled and we hung out together nearly 24/7 in my king sized bed. I even had a small litter box on the bed to make it easy for her and easy for me to help her. (she was in so much pain!) It was precious, one of the most precious times in my life so far. We loved each other. There are no words for it and I miss her every day. Her brother looked for her for many days after and I saw the longing in his face and the anguish in his howling for her. It was a privilege to be with her for that incredible, emotional time.
I'm glad that, at the start of this video, you captured audio of Caroline's purr. That may confort you down the road. She may not be feeling well but you know she's happy to be there, in her spot and, even better, hanging out with her Dad. Im going to add something more that Caroline would probably tell you if she could: You're doing a great job, Dad.
We had to make a call like this a few years ago. My elderly cat had a dental and after he came home he was acting off, we rushed him to the vet and waited for tests to be run. His urinal track was blocked and would require another surgery lass than 48 hours after the first. I had promised him we would never make him suffer through another surgery since it aged him at least 2 yrs in looks and attitude so we made the call and let him go. They tell us when it’s time and a good guardian listens. I miss Squeekers every day but never regret following his request.
Look at beautiful Caroline enjoying her spot. Warms my heart. Big hugs and much love to all of you.
Jackson, thank you so much for posting these videos. Yes, it's raw and emotional, but I honestly believe that you will look back on these and find comfort in them. In addition, for me, it helps me cherish every moment with my fur babies and accept that there will be a time where I could be in your shoes.
I suspect many of us wish we could absorb and lesson your pain. Yet you are expressing this sacred time with so much wisdom. Another person stated you are doing a great service to other cat parents. But not just to those who have not yet had to say goodbye-but also those of us who have experienced this pain many times. Your words enable us to again feel those feelings, helping heal what was then too unbearable to fully feel and got pushed down. Caroline is blessed to have you as are we. Thank you so much for sharing. ❤❤❤
I'm 69 years old and have had cats all my life. I feel your pain, and I cry with you. You're doing the best you can - never forget that. 😿💕💕💕
Sending you both ❤.
The grieving has already started, it's not in the future, it will just change form when she passes. I walked the same path which ended in July 2022. Old Salem had nasal cancer, on one side only. He let us know he still wanted his spot in the sun, even though his face was deforming little by little, day by day. He was eating well, and would curl up on my husband's Santa-like belly when it was chilly. He lasted about a year like this. He told us when he was ready to go. He walked his arthritis body across the street and into the neighbor's back yard to await death by her wolf-dogs. Thankfully she saw him and called us, so we were able to gather him up and gather around him when the vet came. He was 20 years old. We still talk about him, we still love him, and sometimes even cry a little. I wish you peace and grace as you, Minou, Caroline and all the other fur babies share this path together.
We had to put our girl to sleep yesterday. Seeing you and Caroline is a comfort. Blessings to you.❤
I'm so sorry. Sending you much Love ❤️
I’m sorry. And glad you feel comforted. Such a sad time.
Sending you condolences, love and hugs.x. 🖤😿
I lost my Harry following surgery three weeks ago, I still get weepy and miss him terribly, but I am starting to accept that all the signs were there, that it was his time - I just didn't want to admit it and when he did fall sick I shouldn't have been surprised, he was my soul-mate and the little guy that welcomed me home.♥️😻
We all have our moments, our lives are forever etched in the wonderful continuum of time, anticipatory grief just magnifies the whole clarity of how delicate this life thing is, how vulnerable we all are and the finality of the situation.
One of my father's sayings was "life is full of hellos' and goodbyes'", it is just that sometimes the goodbyes' can cut to the bone.🤷
Jackson is handling this so well, sending love to him and Caroline. In my prayers.x🙏
@@WouldbeRenaissanceLady6926 ❤️
Very sorry - I know it really hurts.
Caroline adores you too Jackson💓💕💕💕🐈🐾🐾🙏
Caroline loves you so much. You can see it in the way she looks at you. How she purs when you pet her. She knows that you love her with all of your being. And she appreciates everything you are doing for her. She is so blessed to have you and your wife. As you two are blessed to have this time with her.
You are an incredible human, Jackson.
😢😢😢 you are doing the best for Caroline and staying with her.
Even at a difficult time like this Caaroline is content and peaceful just knowing her loving and caring dad is there with her. Cats are such fascinating and amazing creatures. They ask so little and yet manage to give so much in return. Having been through this scenario myself, more times than I care to think about, I can relate to every Jackson is saying and feeling. Nothing feels worse than knowing you are gone to have to say goodbye to someone who is such an important part of your life. Rest comfrtably in your spot Caroline.Know that there are many of us who are thinking of you.
I just finished reading "Cat Daddy". The love you have for your cats shines through for Caroline now and Benny then. It just never gets any easier, and we can't help second guessing ourselves. I just have to believe that they feel the love, and in the end, that's what mattered to them and us the most. Your love for your cats, and vice versa, is felt through the books and the videos. Much love!
I had the same dilemma a week before Christmas. My precious baby girl. She was only 3 lost so much weight in 10 days. My vet told me that she had really bad kidney cancer. I was devastated, my vet told me that we could treat her but it would not save her just extend her life for maybe 1 year. So i asked him if she would suffer .He said yes. That was my decision made. I wouldn't her to suffer for my sake. I took her home for 1 night. We let her say goodbye to her sister's. I eas broken, my husband was devastated too. I took her and stayed. She was ready. She let him shave her paw and 3 of us stroked her and loved her .Even the vet cried. I went for her ashes during Christmas week. The vet had taken a clipping of her fur. She had blue fur speckled with ginger. She was a beautiful girl. They had taken her paw prints and put them in a special case. It was a lovely gift. They sent me a card saying how sorry they were. It helped a little. But i miss her ,she was a talker. She sat on my shoulder and putred. When I talked to her she purred. I will never forget her. Out of all the other cats 🐈 she was my baby. I truly understand how you feel. Love to your little Caroline. My little cat was called monkee. She kept climbing up the curtains etc .i kept saying to get down she wasn't a monkey. It stuck with her .she thought it was her name.
❤ crying. So sorry. Your baby was blessed to have you.
@@kathy73160 we were blessed to have her. She was precious and unique. My husband keeps getting her ashes out. They are beautifully presented with a silver engraved disc. The foot prints make him cry.
Your daughter Caroline is beautiful. She has a wonderful loving father.. mother. I know how hard this anticipatory grief is. Caroline is resting in her spot.. Hang in there dear friends. Enjoy her love 🌹❣️❤️❤️🩹❤️❣️🌹
Dear Jackson, you are helping me deal with my own grief. I hope you know how much you are helping this precious community.
This resonates with me because I lost my best friend to cancer. My childhood dog was literally like a brother to me. We got him when I was 11, after YEARS of me begging my parents for one, so when we finally got him, I treasured having someone to love. We trusted each other and had a special bond of mutual understanding.
When I was away on a Boy Scout trip, my parents had found out he had blood cancer. He quickly deteriorated. I wasn’t told about this until I got back from the trip, so as not to ruin the week. My parents laid out the situation; they were waiting to ask me to make a decision.
Coming home to my best friend he was shriveled, lethargic, and carried the shame of an animal who knew something was wrong but tried to be stoic about it. He already had lumps all over. I knew that he had been fighting time to keep going, and I knew it was time to let go. I agreed we should put him down the next day.
I’ll always remember, as they gave him the injection, he had a split second of confusion, looking around the room before gazing directly into my eyes, putting his head into my lap, and sighing his last breath. I’ve come to accept the facts as a rational mind. But my heart will never stop aching for him, and that’s the cost of loving so much.
Her sweet little face! She is enjoying this time with her Daddy. Sending you strength and love 😻
God, this had me bawling. It's so like the last moments I had with Zoie in my lap being petted and purring almost at the end of her life. Hang in there Jackson!
Look at how much she luuuuvs her cat daddy!❤❤❤
Thank you once again for sharing this with us; I cry my way through every heartbreaking upload. I feel like part of me is cataloging your words and experience for the (hopefully very distant) day when I might be faced with a similar situation with my boy. Remlit and I are sending you and your family so, so much love and peace.
Such a beautiful calico. I believe God takes our beloved pets to Heaven so they’ll be there for us when we get there ourselves. What a wonderful surprise it will be 🥰🎁💕💖☀️. Caroline is showing us how to love life in the purest way.
They'll be waiting for us when its our time
Im going to go lay with my Sweetie and shower her with love and kisses. Even though shes napping. 😇 Your very courageous my friend. Thank you for journaling Caroline. Shes so beautiful.
Your all in my prayers.
🙏💕⚘
Debi 🙋♀️ and Sweetie 🐈 in California
My dear Jackson, you have given your cat, Caroline, the best life ever, so no regrets. She’s loved cared for and she couldn’t have a better person to care for her but still it’s gonna hurt. I know I’ve lost a few cats in my life. God bless you. Sincerely M Lincoln
❤ sending you love. This is the hardest part of having these beautiful souls in our lives.
I love the quiet, and the sound of the rain.
I do understand the grief that starts before the grief starts. It isn't just knowing what is going to happen, but also what you've already lost. A spinning of thoughts and memories and expectations. All you can do is live for the moment, be kind to yourself, trust your decisions, and try to just enjoy what you have with Caroline now. Hugs Jackson, and all your family. ❤❤
I'm truly grateful for these candid videos. We all are, will or have gone through this. I as of now have been giving my oldest kitty subcutaneous fluids every other day for 2 years because she has CKD. I know she can take a turn for the worse at any moment, so like you, I'm not letting a moment of cuddle time pass... I'll just sit and watch TV with her snuggled in my arms like she has done for nearly 14 years now. My prayers are with you ❤
We had to put our fur baby down a few months ago. It was SO heartbreaking, he was the BEST cat ever! He had cancer, tumor in his mouth, and stomach. He tried so hard to stay with us. My heart goes out to you as well as everyone who's going through the same pain. ♥️
Thank you Jackson, sending peace and love from myself, my dog,Star, and my beautiful cat Aries, who sat and watched the video with me.. blessed be
Beautiful Caroline. Sending both you love and peace.
She’s so beautiful. One of my patients used to say “we enjoy those we love as much as we can for as long as we can-- and that’s all we’ve got”
So much of what you’ve said resonates with me. You’ve put into words what I haven’t known how to express. I’m going through this right now with my companion of 20 years-Meow-Meow. She has a tumor in her mouth that extends into her jaw. And I just keeping thinking, you’ve been by my side through thick and thin for half my life. How? Why? What…? And last night I caught myself texting people updates when she wanted my attention, and I was like, OMG, what am I doing? I’ve prayed for more time with you and yet I’m wasting time texting about it to people who don’t even understand? No more. Had I known our last walk was going to be our last walk, I would’ve taken her for another. So many things… In movies they almost romanticize an animal’s last days by showing the owner take his dog to the beach one last time and buy it a steak…but my baby doesn’t have the energy for that. So I think what’s the next best option: and it’s exactly what you’re doing-loving on her, taking in her scent, speaking love and gratitude over her…and celebrating small wins like finding a food with the right consistency that she can eat. (Those Fancy Feast Gems, shaped like a pyramid blew my mind because they’re angled in such a way and soft enough that she can just bite from the top and scarf ‘em down. And Churu (what we call kitty GoGurts)
treats have been a lifesaver.) I don’t have anyone to talk to, and while my heart breaks for you and Caroline, I appreciate having someone (even if we’ve never met) who understands the unfathomable journey this is. My family tends to use humor to deflect emotion, and the other day my sister text me that Meow-Meow wasn’t dying; she just wants attention. And I thought, no, I’ve been so protective of her and who I tell, and somehow in your mind you think that kind of joke is going to what? Make me laugh? After spending the day doing hospice and switching out water bowls and wiping up blood and helping my best friend groom herself and feeling disocnnected from myself because none of this makes sense-having a cat be there in mind and body yet have this stupid tumor growing inside her mouth that at some point is going to make it impossible to eat, at which point I just… and trying to hold it together because I’m also working? Just no. So thank you Jackson and Caroline for being so tactful in how you share your journey. I typically avoid posts having to do with someone’s pet passing…but somehow you’re able to do it in a tactful way that makes those of us watching feel unjudged and unalone. 😢❤
Cats are so intelligent and intuitive.. they know. I appreciate you sharing this with us. It’s very important to know what to do and say, and what not to do and say, with cats ❤ lots of love to you, Caroline and family ❤
i watch these, with a fuzzy dream-cicle colored boy sleeping in my lap and know how blessed we are to have cats in our lives.
Send Caroline love and prayers 🙏
Jackson so many of us have been there, and know what you and wife are going through. As I sit with my senior cat in her spot on my lap I want to thank you for doing this for us. You guys are guardian angels!❤🙏🏽❤️
I’m sitting here watching while I have my 2 15 year old orange tabby sisters on my lap. We are sending so much love, peace, and comfort to you and your household.
"To watch without staring." I love how you love this cat. All light, love, and mojo.
Its the best feeling to have them. Its the worst to see them go away, Always breaks my heart.
Jackson, last night I binge watched the first 3 videos of Caroline's journey. Verbatim, I lived this exact story not long ago, and I cried for hours last night, mostly for you. But my decision to forego the interventions (he hated the car rides), and let him have his spot (under the dining room table coincidentally), was the right one for him. I cooked him shrimp and gave him thinly sliced turkey, and when that no longer appealed to him, I knew. I just wish I had videos like you do, as I know these are the things that will bring you peace. GBU
Hugs man... Caroline does look sleepy and peaceful in her spot. And next to her favorite cat Daddy. She knows you're there when she's vulnerable so she feels safe. That is important. Take in the moments as you say. And try to keep the those other thoughts at bay (easier said than done). Thank you for the updates. ❤
I love how you love your kitties! You are doing what is right for you and Caroline. Nobody has the right to tell you anything different. Your kitties have a special place in your heart and IT SHOWS!! We love you Jackson!!
Jackson, Sweet Caroline looks so content just curled up there near you on the couch. Thank you so much for sharing this part of your lives with all of us. I know I am not the only one out here sending you a big, big, hug.
Why do you have such a passion to cats? So warming and touching to see.
Through this video you helped me heal from my last loss. I now know that I did everything right by watching you love your kitty this way. And isn’t this the way we all would want to be loved? Thank you Jackson!
Sweet caroline all you can do is give her love and hope she doesn't suffer ❤❤❤❤
This is perfect wisdom. And even when we are unsure they give us grace for knowing and doing what we see for their best interests.
Where you loose someone it's just another reminder that we get a few breathes and a few moments on this blue marble floating in space and we should cherish every moment. 🐯
Her purs melt my heart! Sending you love and peace.
When Momma Kitty lay dieing on my bed my heart was crushed. I loved on her, fed soft people treats, watching her getting weaker and cried. I had go to the vet to let her go. My lovely daughter went with me to share the tears and pain. It was worth the pain. I still have tears. Thank you for validating pet parent grief.
100% pure love ❤❤❤
It's so wonderful to be able to see this and experience Caroline, purring happily, in her spot, spending quality time with you! God bless you, Caroline, Jackson, your family, both human and furry! It's moments like this that make the world so lovely to be a part of, even when it's not always perfect. We love you Jackson, we love you Caroline. Thank you! 🙏 😺❤
"What if" are cruel words. Banish them. When faced with being between a rock and a hard place, the best you can do is to put all your energy into making the slow good bye as comfortable as possible and continue to pour all your love towards Caroline. And give her all the treats she desires.
Caroline is such a sweet, beautiful cat. Love that she has you to spoil her with affection!
Jackson, my heart breaks for you. I hope you can feel all the love and admiration I’m sending to you. ❤❤❤
Caroline has one of those loud purrs. I love it. She is so beautiful.
Thank you for sharing your own journey. I needed this, too.
My own precious girl of 13 yrs pass 26 December due to cancer. From the onset of her symptoms to her passing was so quick, but I still found sooo much time for self-doubt and the decisions related to her care agonizing. Why didn't I notice something was wrong sooner? Why didn't I know more about caring for cats with cancer ahead of time? Why could I not recall all her favorite rubbish food preferences or how much she hated being medicated (pilled), but loved having her ears rub (transdermal alternative)? Really, I think all she wanted was to pass in peace in her own spot, wrapped in her favorite fleeces blanket, and knowing she was wanted and loved.
I'm hurting with you Jackson. It brings back so many memories of precious fur babies over the years. It makes me appreciate the time that I have with mine. Time passes so fast.❤😢
I've been through this process too many times...it never gets easier. 😢 I think we learn how the mourning process is going to go. My first loss was 19 years old...a tuxedo cat named Isaac...he was a big cat 17.5 lbs, but down to 6lbs, when he let me know he was ready to go. I have no children, and losing him felt like I was never going to get over the pain of losing. I couldn't even look at a photo of Isaac without bursting into tears. But as I've loved and lost each companion, I've adjusted to the grieving and how it's going to feel, and I just let the emotions come and go, until one day I can look at their photo and just feel a touch of bittersweet sadness, without all the anguish. But if I sit and think too long about one of my babies, all the pain of losing them comes flooding back. So many memories....💔💔💝
She loves you so much, because she knows how much you love her! So grateful she has you!!
"Just be peaceful". Well said Jackson. Much love to you both ❤
She adores you. You both mean so much to each other. Precious, precious moments. So much love there.
Our beloved companions will greet us again when our own time comes.
It’s such a gift to hold space for a dying loved one and to get to love them mindfully and share in their experience.
The anticipatory grief is so hard. My girl, now 17, started having focal seizures 2 years ago. And I feel like Ive been in that stage, and the watching/waiting, trying to be present but not overbearing ever since. Shes not super interested in my affection unless shes having a bad day, but I worry Im not around enough for her. The watching but not staring has been the biggest challenge for me. I failed for a long time at that.
She’s a sweetheart..
God bless you 🙏
Thank you so much for sharing Caroline with us all, she is so beautiful, and I can tell how much you love her, my heart breaks for you and your wife, I know how this is hurting y'all. I'm the same way with my fur babies, they are everything to me. I love my fur babies more than humans. They are my family. Much love to y'all ❤
I knew you were doing this series and I think its highly commendable your doing it. About a minute into the video, I was in tears! I had to put down my very first kitty after 17.5 years together. I found her under a dumpster at 3 days old and we were a team together. One day I noticed her jumping off the sofa and she didn’t land on her feet and that bothered me! I made an appointment at the vet to have her examined. They didn’t know what the matter was and they could do thousands of dollars worth blood work and possibly still not know. I was grateful for their honesty! It was noticeable she was getter weaker and weaker. Many years before this, she had a UTI and it was obvious she was uncomfortable, so I rushed her to the ER Vet! While she was being examined the vet came out and we talked. I don’t remember how the conversation started but somehow we started talking about pets and how owners keep their pets way too long! Not bc our beloved pets wanted to be in pain and suffer but bc we as their owners can’t imagine life without our beloved companions! When the vet said this, it made complete sense to me and when it came time to make that decision, I made the decision to let her. I didn’t want her to suffer anymore and assumed this had been going on for some time! It was horrible for me but in the end, I knew it was right for her! I’ve grown up with cats and dogs my entire life and realized our Mother protected us from our pet losses! Although, it was pure agony for me, whatever was going on with her was the beginning to the end of life! I was a basket case as I held her in my arms while she slowly went to sleep forever. We grew up together! What that ER vet told me flooded back to me! It was agonizing for me but right for her, she was ready & I needed to let her go. Twenty years on I feel I made the right decision! When watching your video, I liked your common sense and love on her situation! I’m extremely sentimental about my kitties and hugged both of them! We all love our pets! I recently lost my father and it’s unbearable! I’m finding it difficult to adjust to him being gone! We were extremely close. I saw him early summer to celebrate a milestone birthday. It was the first time in five years since I saw him and I was allotted 36 hours to say goodbye! We both knew it would be together and it was absolutely devastating! I walked away in tears and couldn’t look back! I do have a ginger kitty who will be 5 this year. She and her brother are my support! I named my female ginger, Clementine as it was a song my Dad taught me as a little girl. She reflects happier times for me and attempting to push forward but its now five months since my Dad passed and realize I will always love him and he is never far in spirit! Same goes with our beloved pets! When Caroline passes over that rainbow and no longer in physical pain know you gave her an amazing life and how much she loved you and everything you did for was all out of 💕 One day I hope to watch Caroline’s journey but for right now I just can’t. Wishing you both strength and love.
to watch with love and conpassion.....I will continue to send both of you the highest vibrations of live and healing.....blessed be.