A Sinister Look into the Controlling IFB Church ft.
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- Опубликовано: 8 июн 2024
- The cult doc “Let Us Prey” on HBO, highlights the issues within the high control religious group Independent Fundamental Baptist, of which Eric was a part of. From the covering up of predatory behavior of the leaders, to extreme patriarchal control which blames victims and breeds perpetrators, Eric walks us through what his life was like being isolated in this group until his adult years. Which eventually led him and his wife to belong to another cult like group!
Watch Shelise's interview on Preacher Boys channel here:
• Took a DNA Test, Turns...
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Chapter Marks
00:00:00 Intro
00:02:52 Overview of IFB & its rules
00:11:46 How purity culture negatively affects boys/men too
00:18:56 Modesty as a subjective topic
00:25:35 Dating or not in the IFB?
00:31:10 What Eric's education was like at the IFB school
00:36:01 How other churches were brought up in discussion while in IFB
00:37:30 Similarities with IFB and Mormonism
00:41:31 Religious studies injected in school
00:43:56 Bible class and the Christian flag
00:46:53 Eric choose filmmaking for God over Bible college
00:50:05 Eric's faith was shaken because of a predator
00:54:46 Eric's wife's feelings at the time
00:59:16 Eric left one cult and found himself in another situation
01:05:01 The last time Eric was part of the church
01:12:38 Dealing with hard topics on Eric's podcast - Preacher Boys
01:20:39 Linda, listen
Theme Song Produced and Composed by Christian Guevara
*Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.*
Thank you so much, again, Shelise for having me! ❤
Thanks for coming on and sharing your wisdom! It was an awesome and enlightening conversation!
I love your podcasts❤
God bless you!
Excellent interview! Thank you! 😊
From one former IFB to another, thank you for sharing your story. This stranger is incredibly proud of the work you've done to come out of that environment. I know it isn't easy!
Thanks Shelise for treating a male perspective as valid. We know women get tons of abuse and the awareness absolutely has to be there. But I think we do also need male voices like this so that guys can recognize when they're in toxic situations. A man breaking the cycle is important too.
I agree 🙏
I dont believe nothing ever changes unless both sexes want it. Feminism that is now accused of all ills or lets say female emanicipation, would had never been possible unless the brothers and fathers wouldnt have wanted it .At the same time the mothers/wives were as responsible as the fathers/husbands for the situation perpetuated in previous eons ,And not just for accepting the state of affairs, being submissive not fighting for equality and not teaching boys and girls, but for being equally dominating supressive wherever they could
Just this past week, I was chatting with a coworker who recently immigrated from Iran about the rib thing! She grew up in a strict Muslim environment, I grew up in a fundamentalist southern Baptist environment - we like to compare and contrast insanities now that we're both out. Her mind was totally blown that I went to a high school that taught that men have fewer ribs than women, despite like...skeletons and xrays existing.
Thanks for sharing! 😁
I had forgotten about the rib thing until it was brought up. The teachers & even my father had told me "to this day, men have 1 less rib"
Wow! I have never heard that. Back when I was young I went to a southern Baptist church that was more fundamentalist but then later went to churches that were Christian/biblical churches but not fundamentalist so maybe that's why. But man, that is an odd thing to teach.
I was taught the rib thing in assembly of god in the 70s
The evangelists are taking over. Frank Zappa KNEW....
"You'll have your wife to use?"
OMG 🤯 that is so dehumanizing.
Sadly, outside of religion, this is the subconscious thought for too many. We are to be used for gratification and procreation and allowed to step out of those roles in varying degrees of acceptance and respect. 😤
That blew my mind. I mean, I always knew that's their mindset, but I didn't expect it said so bluntly. Good god.
I grew up in this environment. I went to their school and college. My husband and I broke free in our 20's. So glad to see it being exposed. The day we said, We are done," was the happiest day of my life, but it takes a lifetime to change your thinking.
Amazing!🙌
@pdill9712 I’ve been out of IBLP for 18 years now and still have questions. How did I fall for this mind controlling type of teaching!!!
The desire to change this obviously deranged normal , was like the key to Heaven . I had to let go of some dogmatic Catholic nonsense in my 20's and learn about the actual Christ consciousness . It was the most beautiful, magical , time in my life. It allows your life to unfold in a natural God led way instead of wallowing in judgement of others . Linking up with God & trusting & letting God run the show. Sure , power mongers come at you . And want the power you give to God , to run the show. Anyway - I wear a bikini and if, when you are my age , and can still rock one , we'll talk . Otherwise , my inspiration is valued and appreciated .
I grew up in a Baptist church & even went to Baptist school for a bit. All these "rules & guidelines" are all too familiar, no dancing, long hemlines, dress modestly or you'll cause your brother to fall because males can't control their sexual urges. They can't control urges but they want to run the world. Yeah that makes sense.
As a guy who strives to be someone people can trust, I take GREAT offense to the idea that men can't control their urges.
I, an atheist who was never part of any faith, went to BYU for grad school, and I think the whole "no coffee but now we can drink caffeinated soda and energy drinks but NOT chai tea because it started as no hot drinks but also we slam hot chocolate" thing was my favorite thing to share with people back home because it makes zero sense.
🤭😅
Yeah the no coffee and tea thing is not about caffeine because the original recommendation was specifically "avoid hot drinks"
So, even if they retcon it to be about caffeine, the fact that hot chocolate is allowed but white tea isn't makes no sense on any level because it's hot and has caffeine.
How come you attended BYU if you weren't Christian?
@@lazyyethealthy9230Because there was an awesome professor there that I wanted to study under.
I can't imagine the trauma that must build up from being provoked into strong emotions in church, but being so disconnected from bodily expression and movement at the same time. It sounds like emotional torture, tbh.
I think it's why so many of us as adults have a tendency to intellectualize our emotions rather than feeling them. It's such a hard practice to unlearn when it starts so young!
Thanks for mentioning Islamic modesty culture at 00:17:55. To an ex-muslim woman like me, this means a lot.
It would be great if this got more attention. Please interview ex-muslims like Infidel Noodle, Yasmine Mohammed, or Apostate Aladdin.
I would love to hear from ex-Muslims!
Yes! We had Yasmine scheduled for this week, but I’m so exhausted from pregnancy I had to reschedule 🫠 I’m very much looking forward to doing this topic. It’s been hard to find people willing to speak out. Or getting answers from those we have reached out to.
@@CultstoConsciousnessBaby and mum come first!
I sent a message to Apostate Aladdin. Let's see what he says.
Please interview some ex-Muslims! I grew up in a Muslim country. While my immediate family was not religious, I had a lot of extended family members who were conservative Muslims. As an adult woman, living in the US, I am still trying to deconstruct all the purity/ shame culture things that were forced on me growing up.
Please have the green prince on!!
So I went to a Christian school for missionary kids. It was today listening to this episode, at 36 years old, that I learnt men DON'T have less ribs than women. I was so shocked I had to Google it. 😂 Thanks for setting my "science" straight!
Bahahaha, agree~~ accept, I am 61,and sent my oldest to Christian School for K-5 (having to add lace to her dresses so her knees didn't show)... then Homeschooled for years~~~~~ had a FULL QUIVER 5 children~~~~~ STILL LOVE JESUS CHRIST ❤️ 💙 💖 💗 😊 YET just FOUND OUT, that men have same amount of ribs as women!
By the way~~~ I was never WELCOMED in these groups, as I had very nice legs, because I ALWAYS DANCED, and wore short shorts, and tight jeans😂😅😂
Same, just found out men have the same amount of ribs as women and I am 66 years old. Lol
@@anareus1 well just found out that there are people that think ribs are the reason men and women are different biologically... learn everyday...
Brilliant interview! Super glad that you take such a broad view of cults, ranging from IFB/IBLP circles to new religious movements and spiritual practices. People need to know that the methods of control are EXACTLY the same from group to group, it’s just the window dressing that’s different. Ty for your work!!
Thank you for your acknowledgement ❤️🙌 we do our best!
congratulations shelise! thank you for including us on a small part of your journey. additionally, I love the way you allow your interviews to naturally progress from question to question while still getting at the important beats of their story, while still being kind and generous with your guests.
Thank you so much!🥰🙏
@@CultstoConsciousness , agreed, you have specialized skills with that and it is valuable to a lot of people.
Such incredible empathy and critical interviewing skills we love you Shelise
I used to tutor nursing students in North Carolina and I cannot tell you how many times I had to explain to their husbands (sometimes wives) that unless surgically altered all people are born with the same amount of ribs.
I grew up going to an independent fundamentalist baptist church cult.
I hated it so much.
Then I got married and went to southern baptist.
Then I ended up in the apostolic United Pentecostal church cult that was so abusive I almost ended my life.
I’m so sorry to hear that. I hope you’re doing better now ❤️
You're not alone. I grew up IFB, then Wesleyan, then eventually accepted I was an atheist. It's hard, and it's a work in progress every day. Sending well wishes your well ❤
@@beccam7298 these religious people do not come with God, they come with the world, and are in every country, calling themselves many things. Christians, Muslim, Hindu, these are all religions. God is not religion. God is the creator, and all he wants is your heart. Forget about everything else.
The best way to keep kids safe, especially from SA is to teach them appropriate sex education from toddlerhood.
We need better sex education in schools
@@PokemonRules333 We need to keep children innocent of evil as Christians are to be innocent of evil. Children need purity, protection and not taught sex from birth as Planned Parenthood teaches in the most vile and wicked of ways. They need to know bad touch and kept supervised at all times in this world that is continuing in growing wickedness as God said it would. The wicked in government schools want children to be their sex pets. Jesus Christ, the thrill of hope, for a sick, hurting, and weary world-Romans 10:9-10 from the Bible: “That if you confess with your mouth the LORD Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart man believes to righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made to salvation.”
Also teach them to have healthy and strong boundaries. This will save them through life from toxic and abusive people.
Both of of these. We need every school curriculum to have age appropriate education from the get go which includes consent and boundaries. As well as using the proper names for things. Then when someone tries to get them to do something using nicknames or talk around it they’ll not understand what they want but they’re sure to ask appropriate questions which predators don’t like.
@@SarahD-uy5pf Could you rephrase this please? I’m having trouble understanding.
I so get the feeling of not having a home. I have been an “unchurched” Christian for nearly 10 years now after running into what I feel were major stumbling blocks at two different churches. I’m 100% introvert anyway, so visiting other churches is torture. For better or worse I prefer to remain “unchurched.” Good interview!!
Wow, I haven’t watched all your videos and I’m only 12 minutes in so far but that reference to purity culture - Oh. My. Word. How many people are currently undoing the trauma that wretched movement did to us as teenagers?
I only began therapy six months ago but the realisation that my sexual identity as a teenager was not shameful has been utterly liberating and so traumatising. You carry this guilt your whole life.
I’ve been married 11 bloody years and I’m only just starting to let go of it!! It’s so horrifying how this culture has screwed up the healthy sexual minds of a generation of teenagers.
Thank you SO much for the honesty of this interview. It’s so liberating so know I’m not alone in dealing with this bs from my childhood.
You’re not alone!! You might really enjoy this episode ruclips.net/video/PhVZrmShT6Y/видео.htmlsi=K_DuMRUKjXlSetMc
@tribalbreeze I went through this, too😢 I'm 43 and remarried and I'm finally in a place where I can see intimacy as beautiful and miraculous....even FUN! So many years were stolen from me through Purity Culture and all the other horrific things we were taught as "truth". 😢😤😤😤
I screamed when I woke up to this. I’ve been watching both of you for a few months now, but this crossover was exactly what I wanted
Love to hear that!
I feel so stupid I am almost freaking 40 years old and didn't know the rib thing. I hate cults. It makes me so angry at how stupid that they make us and hold us back. I never would have even thought to google it. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ well I guess better late then ever and I just told my kids so at least they won't go through this same thing.
No shame in learning! 😁 the only shame is in knowing the information and refusing to accept of acknowledge it, so you are good!
I love how Eric and his wife deconstructed together. My partner and I have been doing that together for the past year and a half and it had been such a turning point In our relationship as we have discovered together what we believe and why we believe it. ❤
Im 55 and was never brought up with a religion....my mother who was a small town child of a school teacher in the biblebelt who had to join whichever chuch that was in that small town.my mom knew alot about all religions. This channel explains my moms views .gives me understanding why my mom never bad mouthed any religion but also why we stayed away.
Watching this right now and screaming "Yes yes yes!" At the TV. I just left the IFB this past summer and watching others talk about their experiences is very therapeutic. It feels good knowing that I'm not the only one. 💕
You’re definitely not alone!❤️
So much love for Eric, he’s doing the real work out here to get recognition of the abuses happening in these structures. His podcast is well worth listening to, but only if you’re in a headspace to hear these kind of stories. It can be very hard to listen to some of them, it’s so painful to think what people have experienced. But he’s such a compassionate person and it comes across in his podcast and everything else he does. I applaud him for his advocacy work and his resilience in facing these hard truths every day.
Oh my days, I so enjoyed this video because I can so relate! I could write a book on the decades of my experience, I just wish I had been as young as you when I became conscious of all the trauma and abuse. I grew up in the Pentecostal and charismatic movements and growing up, I loved Jesus so much and all I ever wanted to do was go into the ministry. I was a singer and that was my focus but at 18 I fell pregnant and got married. Cut to 2000, after moving to England, I started working for a large charismatic church at which point my life became church, 247! I stayed there for 7 years, I was paid a pittance while the church leaders were raking it in, buying expensive homes and cars etc. Not only was I working there but I was also expected to volunteer in one of the ministries so I was in the worship team and later headed up the camera team. I love music and I'm creative so I was okay with that at the time but I neglected my family (although my son's would disagree). By 2007 my marriage had fallen apart and I was completely burned out. I resigned, left the church and moved away. I have not found another church where I feel comfortable and I will never again get involved, either as an employee or voluntarily. I have spent so much time questioning what I actually believe. I still believe in God and love Jesus but I am starting to go back to the very basics of what the Bible teaches,reading it for myself, without some man centric ministry telling me what I should believe. I am 60 this year and still trying to heal from the trauma, but like anything in life, it's a process. Thank you both for sharing your stories.
This seriously was my life, I grew up in an IFB church in Pennsylvania!! I’ve been doing so much deconstructing this past year after having the realization my first 17 years of life was spent in a cult!!! So much damage and confusion they cause is just so horrible!
Ex Mormon temple worker... now saved, born again... Thanks for getting truth out there... all the glory to God. Jesus Christ is THE way, THE truth and THE life...
Really?
Break the silence. Break the cycle.
I relate to Mormon channels because they're often the closest I can find to my childhood church. It's healing for me to see another IFB kid end up a happy adult 😊
Virginity is a social construct.
Agree ❤️
My ancestor Stukely Westcott was a Baptist who accompanied Roger Williams in the founding of Providence. Many of his descendants are still Baptists, as was my dad...until he married my Irish Catholic mum 😅
You should do an episode on fundamental Islamic women. Horrific. We're talking ceremonial female genital mutilation and honor killings, etc. Please please shine a light on this
You really are a talented interviewer - thank you for your important work!
Wow, thank you!
Shalise thank you so much for doing these RUclips Interviews.....i am learning so much about all the different cults and backgrounds from you interviewing everyone......Congrats on your new addition to your family..And tell Johnathon i said hello and he was lucky man.....Also how is your Mom doing?
Thank you for sharing that! Jonathan and I are so excited for baby to get here. Mama is doing great!
That is wonderful to hear maybe one before I get to old I can make a trip out west and meet all of you@@CultstoConsciousness
That is strange considering in the Bible people were often talked about dancing for Jesus
Wow, as a Christadelphian, I’d never realized how these things were made a realization formed from error.
@@Miapetdragon69 and playing music, drums, horns "make a joyful noise unto the Lord"
Shelise, thank you for your work. Don’t you ever stop! You have no idea how much it helps many people.
Thank you for finally inviting a Baptist. I was waiting for it. I grew up in a similar church in the other side of the globe. 🌎 yes, seven days in church and skirts only and no make up and cover your head.
Thank you for the guest!
❤️❤️❤️ we have lots more on this topic in the works!
These churches are extreme. There are many churches that follow Christ’s teachings that don’t add their ridiculous spin on everything.
Hell fire & damnation 😂
@@carolleeames6659but those bad people will always justify with scripture
@@carolleeames6659 if they teach that all other religons send you to hell, they are equally ridiculous
Excellent interview! Eric’s comment about the “advice” he received from his youth pastor reminds me of a scene from 19 Kids & Counting where Josh Duggar’s father gave him a book about his wedding night. Then proceeded to talk about how soon he would have a “working model,” and laughed. Disgusting.
"I pledge alligence, to cruel, fascistic, hateful, bigoted, judgemental, self aggrandized and self-righteous beliefs and dogma"...
Not as much as atheists!!!
Spoken like a genuine atheist. For you, there is no authority, ever, higher than you.
I've been watching the Preacher Boys Podcast for a few years now and I loved his phrase about "kicking the floor boards around to see what sticks" regarding deconstruction. I was doing that too, and eventually left Christianity. His Podcast guest who wrote the book "rethinking hell" was instrumental in helping me free myself from the IFB. I'm very grateful for Eric and his Podcast!! And yours too Shalise!!
Thanks for sharing that! Love to hear it’s been helpful!
The message Eric got from his leader at 1:01:17 is so in line with my strict Christian father: the way he puts it is this~ anytime I came to him for help, he'd say "I don't want to _steal your victory."_
This sounds all great on the surface, but I have no safety net with family. I can't go to them for help due to _this message._ It's like my father doesn't know that family helps one another, and sometimes Victories are won by a village, with help. I believe he thinks victories should be won alone.
Hmmm. When he comes to me for help in his old age, maybe I should say no and tell him "I don't want to steal your victory, Dad."
It's rough not having familial support, especially when you've grown up in strict religions and your parents didn't equip you properly for adulthood....so then you know what happens when a young adult isn't equipped? They make mistakes, sometimes BIG ones....and then they are judged and criticized by the very same people who were supposed to equip you but *didn't.*
His saying is a cop out for his Dad job. An excuse not to help. And the help that is extended is just critical, belittling, condescending and really guilt and shame-y.
I'd even take some words of encouragement, but my parents have none of that in their arsenal.
I’m really sorry you’ve been treated this way. I completely understand what you mean about making big mistakes because you weren’t prepared. I am sending you love & healing & I hope you’re able to find a family that supports you. Sometimes family is not what we’re born into, but who we choose.
Also, I don’t know where you live or if your struggle is specifically financial in nature but where I live, the local library & local agencies offer adult financial literacy classes & programs. Your parents absolutely should have prepared you but I’ve found those resources invaluable as an adult. And most often, they’re free!
Hope your future looks brighter & brighter. ❤
I was raised in the same type of environment and was actually the preachers kid. This made things more difficult at times. We had the same constrictions as the IFB but the one thing that really stands out for me is that we were taught that kissing would make you or lead to pregnancy. The first time I french kissed a boy I was alone in the church when it happened. He was basically a stranger (I had met him once before at a mall) and he kissed me before he left. I was scared to death for a year or more afraid I was going to get pregnant. Another instance was my first experience at the movies. My brother and I went to see The Jungle Book (cartoon version) and my dad pitched a conniption fit because our mom let us go. I actually had it easier than a lot of my peers and then I was also smart enough to figure out ways to get around certain things but it was still hell to live thru.
I went to Utah when I served as a Parks and Recreation Commissioner in the City of Commerce in Los Angeles, Ca. It was back in 1996-97. I remember going on a multi-bus excursion from SLC to Park City when we were there. We all stopped to have lunch at a really large “restaurant.” All the women wore long dresses prairie-style and wore their hair prim and proper with a long French braid. I feel so foolish now because I remember opening my big mouth and saying, probably louder than normal, “Cool- just like Knotts Berry Farm, sorta!” These women looked miserable and solidly unhappy. No customer service whatsoever. I tried striking up a conversation, got nothing in return. I can remember thinking ”I wouldn’t like the pastel colors and hairstyles either. But a job is a job. Where else would you work? There’s literally nothing out here!” Whoa boy. Never in a million years would I think this is 💯 their reality. I came to when I watched the news yeeeears later of children being whisked away by Child Services, their mothers freaking out. Then what I had come to learn about Warren Jeffs. Holy Moly.
Another fantastic interview, thanks! I’m loving to listen to every word!
I keep thinking about the fear based structures that shape a delusion that need to be followed and mirrored back to narcissistic people (and probably others/a cult system) to feel sort of safe. If someone dares to question this reality the control will be tightened, for this system to stay intact. That way ‘they’ don’t need to question, or crash themselves, or experience fear, as their identity is in the delusion. Even the well meaning people at his young wife’s church putting him back on his lords journey, in their words, probably say this just so they can believe it remains true for themselves. And even if you are not a manipulative narcissistic person, if you’re ageing and you see young people questioning- that must trigger a lot of fear, if you have some brains...
I am 43 years old, and today I found out that Christians have a flag!! 😂I had no idea....
I‘m pretty sure only the US christians…
No 35:49 t all. The original Christian Church, the Orthodox Church does not have a flag.
Me either and I grew up evangelical
It's a white American Christian flag. Not a universal flag for Christian.
This IFB cult nearly destroyed my relationship with Jesus.
I did not have a life outside of church…to this day church gives me anxiety.
It took a lot for me to come back to Christ.❤❤❤
God will never let you go, he waits patiently.
I was raised in the IFB culture and I can honestly say that as a 65 year old woman I am permanently scarred emotionally and mentally. Like the gentleman in the video I went to school and church in the same building most of my life and my entire world was this building. All my life I remember preachers quoting Proverbs 23:13 admonishing parents to beat your child with a rod and it will not kill them...my parents took this and ran with it and my brother and myself experienced brutality our entire childhood. There was sexual abuse as well from a family member and me being told that I HAD to forgive him. What I experienced may not have killed my body but it did kill me in many ways.
I can say that everyone involved is dead now except me and I try to find happiness and pleasure in many small ways. I have wonderful kids that I raised to be atheist and my grand kids are my life. I am a survivor.
We all have PTSD from those horrible people! So glad you escaped that facist oppression.
I’m so sorry for all you’ve experienced in what was supposed to be to be a “safe place”. I’m 68 & wish I could chat with you. You experience “untrue Christianity”. I’m so sorry.
@@MJCargile-or9ln I know you're playing defenceman, but a lot of us don't buy the "untrue Christian" excuses anymore. Christianity is a dark, horrible, cruel, violent, hateful, self-righteous, and self-aggrandized religion in the view of many. And we have been "true Christians" and know it from both sides.
To me, hateful hypocrisy is the norm from Christians. The Trump Cult has many people arrived at this conclusion. The self righteous conservative Evangelicals look like Taliban to a lot of people.
Why are you bothering with atheists instead of shaming and rebuking the fake Christians as needs to be done?
You are a brave and strong survivor❤
And to this day people wonder why I am weird! When we weren't attending the church school we were home schooled! This episode sums up my exact life! When I got kicked out of Bible college I had to stand up in front of the entire congregation and explain why and apologize for my sins!!!!
I appreciate you both so much and having been watching both your channels for quite a while now!!
Thanks for sharing that ❤️ you’re not alone
@@CultstoConsciousness 💛
@@ruthnickerson8186 My father was in college preparing to enter the seminary (so undergrad theology degree) when he had a crisis. I don’t want to say faith crisis exactly because he continued to believe in Christianity but certainly a crisis about whether or not he could be a preacher. He was kind of internally shy while projecting an outgoing persona and he really, really struggled in his senior year when he had to preach in the small church circuit in WV. He went to his parents and said that he didn’t think he felt like he could help others if he had to lie about his own feelings of fear, shyness, etc. Then he was drafted to Vietnam and my grandmother basically said that it was his fault because he wasn’t ‘trusting the Lord.’
She never forgave him for not following HER plan because she, of course, knew God’s plan and she blamed my mother for leading him astray despite the fact that he made the decision on his own and stuck to it under enormous familial, scholastic and community pressure. My grandmother had still not forgiven 25 years later when she died but her death, as sad as this is to say, freed him to find himself. He died at 56 which is extremely early and difficult for me but I am grateful and happy that he had some peace in those 9 years. Religion, in my opinion, is supposed to help you with expressing and learning about God. It’s not supposed to be a club with which you beat yourself or others.
I’m glad he felt peaceful at the end of his too short life but his experience really showed me what happens when you subsume yourself in outsiders’ plans. His mother AND his church told him that the only path to God was their way and that his internal feelings were Satan, not God’s voice. Eventually he began attending church again but he did change denominations. It was the best thing for both of my parents. When they divorced after a 25 year marriage, they remained in the new denomination where they were able to find a community of support on which I believe they both relied.
As I mentioned above, I don’t think God necessarily has one path. There is no one true path, despite what churches say. How does every act of faith come out of a book written, translated and interpreted by mankind, not by God? Isn’t it wrong to interpret ‘God’s word’ through your own viewpoint? This holy book is often reinterpreted to fit whatever narrative the speaker wants. Doesn’t that mean that it’s not holy but man-made? Something to consider anyway.
So used to hearing Eric interview people. It's always great to hear his personal story. Thanks, Eric and Shelise.
I love @PreacherBoys podcast! Thank you for having him on!! ❤❤❤
The story he shared is _horrific_ and one of many reasons I no longer attend church. I love God and Jesus but don't call myself a "Christian" anymore. I'm a believer in God, I'm a human being, flawed and forgiven, just like everybody else ❤️
Woman are definitely visual! I’m 61 and still love the human body. We are all beautifully made❤
Shelese sending you and your husband lots of love, and I am so excited to see the new addition 🐣❤
Thank you so much!❤️
I just love and respect what you are doing so much. You are basically giving information that sets people free to be who they are and to not be afraid of critical thinking and listening to their own minds and hearts. Young people are at a stage where they are exploring who they are and what they believe. They should be affirmed in their exploration and questioning. Thank you so much for what you do.
Thank you for that! We do our best to show there are many ways to freedom and may people who try to take that away from us. Thanks for watching!
You joke about "showing shoulders, but that is one of the hardest things for me. I feel naked if my shoulders aren't covered. I don't think people realize how the external shame people put on us ended up became our train internal voice. So even though I am out I still beat myself up for just thinking someone is hot. The internal struggle is so real.
You’re right! It is. And everyone has their own journey with finding what they are comfortable with in their own time ❤️
@57:15 really love his what he said regarding ownership of behavior - "your upbringing can explain the way you feel and behave but it doesn't justify it"
I was "groomed...er, raised" in a very similar church....no dancing, no movies, no make up for women - or any jewelry, except a wedding ring - a cesspool of negativity that infantilizes and breeds fear of the entire world.
This was an awesome interview. I can't wait to check out Eric's podcast.
I grew up mainstream catholic and my husband mainstream Christian, I have never heard of nor has my husband or his family ever mentioned a Christian flag.
This is wild to me.
I've never seen it presented that catholics and christians are different.
@@mcacornProtestants tend to say they are Christians and Catholics are not. They tend to agree with the issues Martin Luther "protested" against the Catholic church. (This includes branches like Methodist, Lutheran, Baptist, etc.)
These restrictrive Christian Churches are purposely disconnecting them from learning to feel our natural healing & protective energy System by forbidding dancing & making them uncomfortable with it. One of the reasons I went to Massage School at 49 was to help me get back in touch with my body & physical senses again during a tough part of SA trauma survivor healing journey. It really helped during these decades without a relationship or physical contact to force me out of falling deeper in my isolation hole while I'm growing strong enough to trust again someday.🙏
Thank you for sharing that. You’re not alone ❤️ wishing you the best in your healing journey.
So honest and insightful, I honour the work you both do to shine light on the truth.
It's amazing how the similarities exist between cults.
Thank you Eric for coming on the channel and being vulnerable with your experiences! Speaking your truth is so empowering to survivors! So thank you!
Shelise! You are glowing! And that lip color you’re wearing?! 🥰💋 slay! ✨🫰🏼 thank you for doing the hard and mentally draining work that you do. It’s a lot of work but I appreciate you so much for doing it💕
Aww thank you, Anjelika!❤️❤️❤️
OMG, I just watched this podcast and immediately watched Let us Prey. I am so shocked by what has gone on and feel so badly for the poor children who were abused and still suffering the consequences. My heart goes out to all the victims. I love your podcasts by the way. Great guests too.
Thank you! Kathy’s episode was released. Working on her part 2 now. She was one of the main survivors on Let Us Prey
I grew up in an IFB church/school from 5-14. This one is going to hit super close to home and I'm only 5 minutes in 😬. I was shunned at 14 and while it felt like my world crashed at the time, I'm so thankful because it woke me up to the insanity of it all.
Growing up Calvinist Baptist we weren’t too far off from what Eric describes. Have been a subscriber and follower of PreacherBoys for a while and he’s a great guy doing great things! Thank you Shalise for giving him a platform here. The upbringing I had was closely similar. Christian school, you basically see everyone in your church and school 6-7 days a week. No privacy, no autonomy, no dating, no secular or modern Christian music. Convoluted biology, no meaningful sex ed, getting called to the principals office if you were suspected of having a crush on the opposite sex, sexual misconduct coverup and the list goes on. We were slightly more nuanced on the Bible version thing and more lax on dress code (only to a point though and as a woman you were definitely still responsible for making men lust). But overall the basis was the same, with some different theology tweaking. But still arrogant, controlling and haughty. Thank God for therapy and love overcoming so much of this nonsense!
Love this! Thank you Eric for sharing your story
Some gems in this interview. One of the best ones yet. So many take-aways. Thank you!
He explains this so well, breaks it down so well. Thank you!
I watched the interview on PreacherBoys afterwards and I'm excited to hear of your Norwegian ancestor. My father had an aunt or great aunt who we think became a mormon. And thanks to you I now have more context for that.
Terrific interview! I loved listening to your conversation. Solise is engaging as ever and PreacherBoy has a lot of good things to say.
This channel is amazing. Thank you.
Two of my fav creators! Love listening to you both.
Yay! Thank you!
Looking forward to this video..thanks Shelise and congratulations on your baby ❤
Thank you! 🤗
Eric you are an amazing man, so pleased you and your wife seem like wonderful people
Really love your podcasts and your interview style. Thank you for the awareness, the information and the healing you bring to so many! Great work you are doing. And, to @preacherboys, as well!
Thank you! I appreciate the support! 😁❤️
Your comments of how your taught as a man explains the weirdness I experienced as a young adult coming into the church…
The sexual monster…
The wife to use…object!!! Ick
The default teaching.
Modesty … it’s perspective and culture !!!!
When I was 15/16 I overheard 2 men at my church talking. The one man said "I'm thinking of sending my wife back to school" I was so outraged hearing this & remember thinking how dare he "send" her anywhere & if that's what *She wanted to do. It still angers me when I think of those words.
I've been waiting for this one since I discovered this channel.
I’m Christian and I’ve got a biology degree and the 🤯 was finding out that people were still actually creationists when I was an adult
My late mother was raised in that fundie culture and surprisingly the religious stuff didn’t take with her but the misogyny did . My toxic father was a misogynistic man and women were supposed to be submissive, held back and restricted according to him . I spent my teen years just fighting them over this mainly because the woman’s lib movement happened at exactly the right time to fight against that crap.
I do remember going to high school in the late 60s and early 70s and the girls wearing Daisy Dukes and crop tops to school during June . No one even thought it was odd. I do live in NYC
He literally described ny exact childhood school experience... that was crazy to hear
Edit : oh my god more and more and more similarities to my little cornfield school in south Dakota this is literally wild
Love this collab and episode.
Awesome interview, thank you ! Even though I didn’t grow up in a high demand religion, I can point to events of religious trauma/spiritual abuse in my more mainstream church experience. I think you guys hit the nail on the head that the institution of church is not following Jesus in the way He is described in the Bible. 😓
Came from Matt's channel. You are a great story teller.
I really enjoy your podcast! Especially the episodes where you dive deep into the day-to-day lives of people who grew up thinking one way under a high-demand system. I wonder if you'd ever do an episode or a series on someone with a similar experience from a fundamentalist and/or extreme Muslim group?
I grew up in mainstream christianity, still am (lutheran and nazarene mostly). I knew the Christian flag existed and some churches I went to had it somewhere in the sanctuary or entry, but it was more of a neat church history thing that came up occasionally, and I'd never heard of a pledge until recently, and it sounded just as culty as the pledge to the American flag. I also grew up with a variety of views on young earth vs old earth creationism, and the consensus (minus the hardcore fundies) was that the important thing was knowing the creator, not the specifics of how he did it.
Thank you for talking about this, it was my childhood as well, all the way across the country in NC vs CA
I was raised in this. Thank you for posting.
Thank you for this interview. I could relate to a lot of what you talked about.
I grew up Evangelical Lutheran, Southern Baptist, went to Catholic schools and taught in Catholic schools and have never, ever heard of the "Christian flag". What the what?!?
Hey ,i have recently came across your channel and im absolutely obsessed ❤i love hearing all about all the different types of cults , lots of love from the Scottish Highlands ❤️ ♥️
Anybody else hearing IBLP? Any time you hear the word fundamental, you might as well be going back in time a hundred years or more.
You're not alone! I didn't know there was a Christian flag and pledge until one of my nephew's graduations. He was raised evangelical.
I grew up in Oregon. The only foreign countries I have been to is Canada and Utah.
Excellent interview!!
Shelise, I love your videos. You are going to make such a good mama!
Thank you so much!🥰
Weezer should be proud of their work. A fundie kid getting in trouble for listening to their music? My Name is Jonas is worth the punishment.
Ain’t that the damn truth!
My favorite podcast ever. Shelise has that kind of personality that just draws you in! She is born for this. Love, love,love it!❤
Aww you made my day! Thank you!🥰
57:30ish early part of marriage is almost always the hardest. Getting used to your partner & "home type" behavior is learned it's difficult even in great conditions ❤
Thanks for the episode!
Been self-educating on cults for a few years, since getting out of one (non-Christian), and in all the interviews and docs I’ve watched and podcasts I’ve listened to and books I’ve read, this is the first time I’ve heard of a “Christian flag.” And I’ve never seen it. Upside down black and grey American flags, yes. Christian flag, no.
I’m really struck by how the IFB teachings and many fundamentalist religious teachings have so many “rational thinking” and “secularism” “vaccines” built into the ideology - when Eric mentioned that anything “cultural” was looked down on - that really shocked me - there are so many blockades to hearing what anyone outside is saying about anything - science-based information, equal rights issues, even government-funded social and educational programs - in so many groups these are framed as threats or “worldly” or debased or “sinful” - which blocks so much content about the world that civic conversation about how we as a society want to address our problems just shuts down.
Grew up in a United Methodist church - they're pretty much the line between liberal and conservative - and they had the Christian flag in the sanctuary.
OMG!! Hearing the Christian/Bible pledges just unlocked a memory that I haven't accessed since it was made. I went to a private Christian school in 7th grade and so many things resonate as far as receiving a Christian education. But I had completely forgotten that that pledge was even a thing! It's a strange mixture of excitement, nostalgia, and re-traumatization. 😂😂
Great interview!
Love his doc this was crazy watching the doc
My parents met in their early 20s in this group. Fortunately neither was born into it so some of the dogma got missed or ignored on my dad's part, although obsessively followed on my mom's part. Both craved direction and both are still in the group, but unlike a number of parents I know did not shun us or cut off financial support when each of us kids left.
I had a unique ideology due to them being missionaries in a primarily Indigenous community and them both being on the highly anti racist side.
I spent roughly 3months out of the year at camps, conferences, and mini furloughs to raise support/prevent the dropping of support for our underfunded ministry.
We were told to not get permanent resident status but stay on visitor records during our time there. I watched my older bio siblings be forced to return to the states once being past highschool, so at 17 I told my parents I'd apply for the status myself and if they got kicked out of the country I wouldn't visit them... So they did apply for the status for the three of us so I avoided returning to where IFB had more eyes and ears and went the education route.
One distinct memory is being asked to stop inventing games in which all the kids my age and I were pretending to escape the plantations and take the underground railway north to freedom (I was a huge civil war underground railway and the resistance movement of Germany during the Holocaust enthusiast and my dad ordered us books in bulk on eBay along whatever our interests happen to be)... And I was asked to stop telling the other kids about slavery and about escaping the south. They said they were too young to learn about slavery, so I asked if the children of Israel escaping Egypt would work. She seemed delighted with that, and incapable of self scrutiny.
I also remember at a VERY young age being aware that my siblings and I were "lucky" in that our father wasn't the type to SA any of us. (I'm talking under the age of 8 being aware of that, maybe younger.)
I also remember my mom saying that I could never say no to my husband about sex or I'd cause a curse upon my family by forcing him to sin, and that naturally I couldn't even say yes to kissing someone outside marriage. (I ended up telling people that God had called me to singleness / told them I was holding out for Baptist nunnery to be invented. I was a spicy child so no one knew which things I was joking about and which I was serious about. I believed the best defense was no one reading your baseline so you couldn't really act outside character. Psychological warfare begins very young.)
Pretty confident my parents are both neurodivergent as well, so amusingly all subtext went over their heads... So unless someone EXPLICITLY stated there was a rule they didn't get it, nor did they get hints or subtle control methods. So that was a huge help, and kinda funny to watch when you could tell someone was trying to make them follow an unspoken rule but wouldn't tell them. I'm always grateful that the nearest similar churches any direction from me was a six hour drive, and that I also grew up hearing about Creator from indigenous friends so I knew more closely different interpretations of the divine. The conditioning was still torture and intense, but I felt ... Like I had a personality from a young age. Multiple pastors took my mom aside and told her she needed to "break my will" or I would be the one to break all their hearts. So she would make her life task in our interactions catching me in anything she could interpret as sin and make sure I knew the gravity of my actions and how much they hurt Jesus, and had me total up my whacks from the whack list most times we interacted on the day to day.
Loved that you had someone from IFB on here, looking forward to checking out his podcast
Oh those manipulations designed to get you to follow The Rules. Just state them plainly!
I grew up Baptist. Nothing as strict as what we heard here. But our church would do the pledge to the American flag, Christian flag and bible for each day of vacation bible school (which occurred one week in the summer.) I don’t have recollection of doing it any other time in the church
I grew up in Baptist Church and the only other time I remember doing the pledge to the Christian flag and the Bible other than vacation Bible school was when I went to a Christian school and we did it on chapel day
My church still does this.
Feels like growing up as a Witness.