For more Fostering Resilience educational videos, meditations and resources by Dr KJ Foster, subscribe HERE: bit.ly/drkjfoster Subscribing to this channel is free, but you may want to gain access to the daily videos I create for the private membership community called "The Tribe." These are daily spiritual trainings that will help you grow in your strength and resilience. To Join this Channel and gain access to exclusive member videos and perks: ruclips.net/channel/UCjkkcF-sqjKARImaQ02E3JAjoin
From my own experience, I don't care if someone stands on their head for an hour and believes in the Tooth Fairy if it keeps them sober. As long as they do it on a consistent basis, chances are they will see positive results. In my own case, I was very fortunate to be court ordered to attend five (5) AA meetings a week. It saved my life! I did this for my first four years of recovery, and it built a strong foundation for the incredibly great life I have today. With all due respect, throwing 15 tips at most people in early sobriety, is far too overwhelming considering those same people have all they can do just to "show up". May I suggest "keeping it simple", and offer three. "Suit up, show up, and do it again tomorrow". That's it! When I encounter new people in a meeting, I don't beat them over the head with sponsorship, working the steps, or a belief in a higher power. If they keep showing up, all of that will take care of itself! I sincerely thank you for carrying the message. "We can't keep what we have, unless we give it away". All the best...Mark 5/8/1994
I’m in recovery from substance abuse. Opioids and benzodiazepines, also had trouble with weed as a teenager. I’m torn on whether to be around or date someone that smokes weed. It’s like 90% of people I talk to smoke. I don’t necessarily have an issue with weed, I can tell I get upset when I think about a romantic relationship where someone does smoke or drinks occasionally( never had a drinking problem, but loved ones have that have impacted me)
Thanks.I have a pitch for newcomers at my AA homegroup.7 Tips of advice for the first 90 days of recovery.kcb.Keep Coming Back It Works If You Work It And Your Worth It!
Thank you so much for your videos. I’m just about to learn and understand what people in recovery are experiencing. I was in a very caring and loving relationship with an alcoholic for 6 months. After 3 months she confessed to me that she was an alcoholic. I told her that I loved her regardless, and would be there for her. After being with her for 6 months, she finally entered rehab for 30 days and completed it. Coming back, she almost immediately started to retreat. Communication became less and less and eventually ceased, never giving me a reason why. It’s been 3 months since rehab now. Now that I’ve been educating myself on the subject, I can better understand what might be going on inside of her. Where do you stand regarding going back to a previous relationship after rehab? I don’t have any addictions at all. I drink socially, and did so with her when I didn’t know she had a problem. I would give up alcohol in a heartbeat for her. I know that every person is different, and there can’t be an universal answer to this. Thank you. Love Phil
Hi Phil - I think it's wonderful that you are willing to make your own changes to support her recovery. As for going back to a previous relationship after rehab, it really depends as you may be a trigger for her if she drank with you. There is no one size fits all and some people need different types of support. Wishing you the best of luck and hope that you will support her decision, whatever that may be 🫂❤️
Can you please give some advice on what to do when a partner is angry with you for intervening during their relapse? I didn't force him to go to rehab but he has completely shut me out.
It's really hard to give advice because I don't know how you intervened? Is he in rehab or not? How has he shut you out? If you could elaborate a bit, it would be helpful.
@@DRKJFOSTER Sorry for being vague. He had relapsed, was being super paranoid, disappeared, and I had to contact his parents who talked to him into rehab (his 2nd rehab in 12 months). He feels betrayed that I spilled his secret. he's very fearful avoidant to start with so he is treating me like a crazed stalker more so than his concerned partner of 4 years. He sent me one message saying not to contact his friends or family, which I didn't plan to do anyway. I'm trying to give him space but I don't know what to do or say. It feels like he's broken up with me without actually saying the words.
First of all, you did the right thing Cynthia! Remember, his brain and mind are impacted by whatever it was he was taking. Give him some time and space in rehab for his head to clear up. I would guess he will come around to understand why you did what you did. If he doesn't, then I would recommend YOU consider whether or not YOU want to move forward with this relationship. Because if he still feels like you betrayed him for not keeping his secret, then that means he is not recovering (mentally or emotionally) and/or he doesn't want to recover (ie stop using).
For more Fostering Resilience educational videos, meditations and resources by Dr KJ Foster, subscribe HERE: bit.ly/drkjfoster
Subscribing to this channel is free, but you may want to gain access to the daily videos I create for the private membership community called "The Tribe." These are daily spiritual trainings that will help you grow in your strength and resilience. To Join this Channel and gain access to exclusive member videos and perks: ruclips.net/channel/UCjkkcF-sqjKARImaQ02E3JAjoin
I am not a recovering addict but suffer from bouts of depression and found your advice extremely helpful to me! 😊
I'm so glad you found it helpful!
From my own experience, I don't care if someone stands on their head for an hour and believes in the Tooth Fairy if it keeps them sober. As long as they do it on a consistent basis, chances are they will see positive results.
In my own case, I was very fortunate to be court ordered to attend five (5) AA meetings a week. It saved my life! I did this for my first four years of recovery, and it built a strong foundation for the incredibly great life I have today. With all due respect, throwing 15 tips at most people in early sobriety, is far too overwhelming considering those same people have all they can do just to "show up". May I suggest "keeping it simple", and offer three. "Suit up, show up, and do it again tomorrow". That's it! When I encounter new people in a meeting, I don't beat them over the head with sponsorship, working the steps, or a belief in a higher power. If they keep showing up, all of that will take care of itself!
I sincerely thank you for carrying the message. "We can't keep what we have, unless we give it away". All the best...Mark 5/8/1994
Thank you, Mark.
Thank you
Thankyou great advice
You are so welcome!
Thank you for this great advise for a good life.
You are so welcome!
Love this 💕
Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks, Karen.
Thank you. I needed this.
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you so much.
You're most welcome.
I’m in recovery from substance abuse. Opioids and benzodiazepines, also had trouble with weed as a teenager.
I’m torn on whether to be around or date someone that smokes weed. It’s like 90% of people I talk to smoke. I don’t necessarily have an issue with weed, I can tell I get upset when I think about a romantic relationship where someone does smoke or drinks occasionally( never had a drinking problem, but loved ones have that have impacted me)
You didn't mention how long you've been sober. This can definitely be an issue for someone in the early stages of recovery.
Loved this 🙏🏼💜🥹
Thanks, Karen 💟
Thanks.I have a pitch for newcomers at my AA homegroup.7 Tips of advice for the first 90 days of recovery.kcb.Keep Coming Back It Works If You Work It And Your Worth It!
Thank you so much for your videos. I’m just about to learn and understand what people in recovery are experiencing. I was in a very caring and loving relationship with an alcoholic for 6 months. After 3 months she confessed to me that she was an alcoholic. I told her that I loved her regardless, and would be there for her. After being with her for 6 months, she finally entered rehab for 30 days and completed it. Coming back, she almost immediately started to retreat. Communication became less and less and eventually ceased, never giving me a reason why. It’s been 3 months since rehab now. Now that I’ve been educating myself on the subject, I can better understand what might be going on inside of her. Where do you stand regarding going back to a previous relationship after rehab? I don’t have any addictions at all. I drink socially, and did so with her when I didn’t know she had a problem. I would give up alcohol in a heartbeat for her.
I know that every person is different, and there can’t be an universal answer to this.
Thank you.
Love
Phil
Hi Phil - I think it's wonderful that you are willing to make your own changes to support her recovery. As for going back to a previous relationship after rehab, it really depends as you may be a trigger for her if she drank with you. There is no one size fits all and some people need different types of support. Wishing you the best of luck and hope that you will support her decision, whatever that may be 🫂❤️
The early recovery phase is hard when my partner and family are putting me down degrading me
Yes, it's hard and family can often make it harder. Keep moving forward no matter what. I promise you will be glad that you did.
Can you please give some advice on what to do when a partner is angry with you for intervening during their relapse? I didn't force him to go to rehab but he has completely shut me out.
It's really hard to give advice because I don't know how you intervened? Is he in rehab or not? How has he shut you out? If you could elaborate a bit, it would be helpful.
@@DRKJFOSTER Sorry for being vague. He had relapsed, was being super paranoid, disappeared, and I had to contact his parents who talked to him into rehab (his 2nd rehab in 12 months). He feels betrayed that I spilled his secret. he's very fearful avoidant to start with so he is treating me like a crazed stalker more so than his concerned partner of 4 years. He sent me one message saying not to contact his friends or family, which I didn't plan to do anyway. I'm trying to give him space but I don't know what to do or say. It feels like he's broken up with me without actually saying the words.
First of all, you did the right thing Cynthia! Remember, his brain and mind are impacted by whatever it was he was taking. Give him some time and space in rehab for his head to clear up. I would guess he will come around to understand why you did what you did. If he doesn't, then I would recommend YOU consider whether or not YOU want to move forward with this relationship. Because if he still feels like you betrayed him for not keeping his secret, then that means he is not recovering (mentally or emotionally) and/or he doesn't want to recover (ie stop using).
@@DRKJFOSTER thank you. I really appreciate it. I was starting to feel like maybe I was crazy or controlling for even interfering.
I would love to connect with you Dr. I am in South Florida as well.
Hi, Karen. Where are you located?
@@DRKJFOSTER Stuart
Could you suggest fiat 30 days treatment m? 1:14
I would suggest checking the SAMSHA website.