I have been ghosted and it has made me crystal clear that it is something I will never ever do to another person and I will teach children to never do that to others as well. It caused me so much pain
Stop and consider what people have been through that they have to do this. They never respect your decisions and agree to part amicably. They want to try to manipulate you into changing your mind. And I don’t think a good person is going to tell you why they are not interested in you if it’s not going to make you feel good about yourself yet that is the thing that they always beg to know. In an ideal world we would not have to ghost but we can’t trust people to respond maturely anymore
@@banquetoftheleviathan1404 depends on what you consider ghosting. Maybe if you only knew the person for a few days/weeks. The man who ghosted me was telling me he loved me, that he wanted us to go on a trip that weekend and we had been dating for three months, I also met all of his friends.
We need to normalize that ghosting is literally a form of emotional abuse. It’s absolutely horrible and extremely painful to go through. Ultimately it’s extremely selfish and show emotional immaturity.
It's not. Some people are dangerous and if you let them know that you are going to leave or detach, they will hassle or harm you. For your own safety, you must leave or detach without giving notice. Block them too, as soon as you escape. 🚫 If you block them ahead of time, you're giving them a heads-up.
If I have done business with a company in good faith and he had violated my rights, They should be Disciplined in some way, And the consumer reinbursed
Thank you for this video. To all those that got ghosted: get distraction, be with your friends. Take time to heal and enjoy living YOUR life again by putting the focus back on YOU. Your life is not about them. X big virtual hugs to anyone who needs it🤗
I'm returning that hug. The girl I like just disappeared on me, won't even talk to me out of the blue. It sucks, but at the end of the day we cannot force someone. It comes to a point where we have no other option but letting them go.
Idk but I think I’ve been blocked since this afternoon… I’m trying to figure out if maybe this person’s phone is off/dead or anything but ehh.. maybe not. Kinda sucks but I’ll definitely get over it.
I have been ghosted not long ago. I have no idea what I might have said or done that was not ok for him, but liked you said, it’s actually his problem, his lack of maturity to communicate or be respectful. It does hurt, though, even knowing that it’s not us and we will never know the reason for their decision to sever the contact. For me, it’s simply cowardice. A man who does that is not man enough for me.
I've had two women I loved in my 40 years ghost me. The first was my hs sweetheart, 3 years. Absolutely traumatizing and I can't believe I survived that. Then at 36 or so I was ghosted again, no abuse, not amazing relationships we weren't on cloud 9 but seemingly loved one another. We had mature conversations about if we should or needed or wanted to break up and move along we would talk about it. I'm 100% sure both of these women wound up cheating on me and moving on with another dude immediately or before we even "broke up." disgusting.
I'm sorry you went through this pain. It's very cruel to have no closure. I hope you know your value in being someone who would never treat someone that way. I think it's sadly the throw away nature of our modern society & the amount of disconnect that we have we've all been marinated in 🤔
I’ve been ghosted many times over the years and I just accept it for what it is: rejection. I’ve never taken it personally. Having enough mature, healthy relationships with people helped with this mindset. As a millennial I just assume this will be the outcome 90% of the time with people I meet 🤷🏿♀️. I just assume they’re immature with poor communication skills and I go on about life. They always come back and I just stay silent. When you know your worth, you don’t try to convince people you’re valuable. Never trade in respect for attention. It’s hardly ever worth it.
You get ghosted when you call the attention seekers bluff by withholding attention. You may have lost interest so didn't give them attention, but they want nothing to do with you even as a friend once you know what they are
@@2Bluzin it is indeed. In my early 30s now but due to being a teenager growing up with social media platforms I know that not much has changed with the sensory overload of “options” at your fingertips. It’s to be expected.
I was ghosted by someone I really liked a lot (not a romantic relationship) a few months ago and it still hurts. It's puzzling to me because she's someone who I really thought understood the importance and value of empathy, friendship and kindness. She's not a bad person and I'm not mad at her. I am disappointed. I know she's had a rough life at times, and I try to keep that perspective. I don't know the full story because she won't talk to me. I miss her and I get sad when I think about her, but I have to move on. It's something I don't wish on anyone. Not sure why but I've been thinking about her lately. But I know she doesn't want me in her life, and it would be a mistake to contact her. I'm kind of rambling here. It helps a bit and write this out and get it off my chest. I have to take care of myself. To anyone dealing with this, hang in there. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Sorry to hear you’re going through that. It’s really tough. I guess we have to realize everyone in our life will come and go in some way. Some of us stay with us for life, but even they eventually die. Not to be morbid. Just saying, people’s priorities change, people themselves change, situations change, people come into our lives and leave and then new people come in. We might miss those people for life, but there’s always great new people to meet if we try.
Thank you. I'm now having more good days than bad days now. But the hurt is still there. It visits me like some random tide that comes in and then goes away after a while. I just wish she had told me upfront what was going on. There was no need for this ghosting BS. I hope you are well.@@lionelgrisbane-ud87
It happened to me January 1st, got used and Ghosted by a young lesbian. Sucked tho, cause she was so sweet. Told me all her family trauma and opened up, then Ghost. She used me in her car and i never talked to her again. Her issues were no mom, no dad, tons more red flags. Ive learned from it .
@@lionelgrisbane-ud87same exact thing happened to me and my friend who I called my sister. I still don’t understand why she ghosted me when I was the only person in her life that cared for her and tried to help her. She had a horrible childhood with parents not caring. She has no other friends. A sister who lives far away that she barely speaks to and a brother she cut off. Why ghost the only person who helped her through tough times?!
Ghosting is a rotten and horrible form of abuse. I believe any person that you choose to have an interaction with Deserves a final statement and a chance at rebuttal. IT IS THE ONLY WAY TO LEAN FROM EACH OTHER.
You're kidding, right? "Learn from each other?" I learned he is a liar and I was a vulnerable fool. I learned on my own, that HE is the loser and in the end, he did me a favor.
@@sagrammyfoursame here. We've known each other for more than 30 years and been involved on and off for 27 of those years.14 months ago he ghosted and discarded me for his female roommate who is 26 years younger than him. I pretty sure he was falling in love with her. He hated the guy she was seeing. He acted more like a jealous boyfriend than a father figure.
Ghosting can definitely hurt. It’s too much to try to “mind read” what or why the ghoster ghosted u.. Mature ppl communicate with you. I know it’s hard to have some conversations, but it’s also the right thing to do to communicate with someone. Leaving someone “hanging” and just ghosting them without explanation is telling of that person. There’s so many ways to communicate you just hv to be willing. Don’t allow other ppl to waste ur time. Value yourself enough to not give ppl that power over u.
For sure, you should value yourself and not chase a person that ghosts you. And it's not necessary about lack of communication, rather that another person does not value your relationship at this given time. Those, who need this relationship more - will be the one willing to communicate, and usually it's the one being ghosted. But other person just does not need you at a given period of their life for some (only known to that person, or not) reason. They may come back when they're done with their stuff. Ofc, the necessary step is re-evaluation. Whether you need a person, that treats you like that. And yeah, it's needed for healthy relationship to have communication of such moments, but not all people are mature enough to do so. The best thing - is evaluate another person by their actions. That's where your importance or lack of it for them is.
For sure it's emotional abuse......but I sometimes wonder if the person that has been ghosted hasn't also unknowingly contributrd to being ghosted ..... be careful who u date...thats what I've learnt from my ghosting experience
Couple of months ago, I labeled ghosting as the one thing "I hated the most". My parents did that to me. It's very hurtful. Couple of weeks ago, a person I met, did it again. But just like you said in the beginning, it's more about them! Nothing to be mad about or taking personally. Actually, thanks for being honest and showing your dark side to me. But you're not going to be my partner or friend ever.
I was ghosted by a man who I was seeing for 4 months and he claimed to love me. I’m absolutely heartbroken and so angry, I cry myself to sleep and my mental health has suffered so much, it’s so cowardly and cruel , it’s made me feel worthless. How anyone could do that to another person is beyond me. He was 62 and I thought a man of that age would have more integrity and maturity.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's usually the men that do this. How are you feeling now? I've been ghosted twice in 4 months without reason or explanation despite being respectful, kind, encouraging, empathetic etc. They will get their just deserts
@@racebannon96 Men do it waaaay more. Also a lot of ladies are not functioning properly due to what men did to them. I mean even I am tempted to go ghost on the next man that approaches me as my mindset is 98% of them do. So I better ghost them first before they ghost me. I'm trying very hard not to be traumatized by both experiences.
@@racebannon96 Also when you consider that sooo many women are subjected to "dick pics", or aggressive behavior from men, I can see them using ghosting to protect themselves. Men are also more narcissistic in nature. They tend to be a lot more self-centered and selfish. So it's a no-brainer that they ghost women more. Women are more loving and caring. So which sex do you think is likely to engage in this behavior more? Let's not even debate it.
I've been rejected more times than a telemarketer, and flaked on more times than someone's bad dandruff problem. Now, I'm just getting too old, and I think the only good all that pain did for me was it turned me into a better comedian.
This is sadly why so many of us can laugh even when it hurts like hell. We learn to joke,laugh,clown around to not let them get to us. My Grandpa told me that some of the most famous Clowns in the old days had some of the deepest sorrows..🤡=😭☹️😶🌹🌻🌼🌺🌹☘️🌳Sometimes we must make our own "Rose Garden!!🏞️🌄🌅🌴🌳🌲🌵🌠🌌🐦🦜🐓🐎🐕🐈🐈⬛🦝🦊🐰🐭🐹🐮🐸🐴Sometimes animals have been my best buddies!💯🕊️
just been ghosted and it was honestly like the worst experience I’ve ever had to go through. Nothing tore my self-esteem down more than having the person that was saying I love you to you every day to hearing nothing from them for a whole month. we were broken up, but we have been talking for the months following our break up and he had just suddenly decided not to reply to me after I confessed my love for him still and said sorry for everything I did. i had a feeling like we were going to get back together eventually, but now I don’t believe that so much. Just in a weird stage of grief right now, but i’m turning to God to help me through it.
When they say "I wouldn't ghost you.", then a week later do that. So now you're a ghost and a fucking liar! I'm awesome your loss! I'll be on the beach by myself!
I was just ghosted by someone I never thought would ever do that to me. I’m more confused about it than anything else, but I guess it’s just another example of not truly knowing someone you thought you understood. I wish nothing but the best for them and if this helps them find peace and happiness then so be it.
It may be easier for someone who has an avoidant attachment style. In other cases it's used as an abusive method by narcissists and other toxic individuals. A narcissist will often give a person the silent treatment, and vanish without explanation for extended periods of time. All of a sudden he/she will back again to get their dose of narcissistic supply.
I’ve been ghosted recently…what just happened??? 😮 We were friends since 12 years ago…we progressed to being more intimate and having so much fun and sharing not only ourselves, but our family too. I found it difficult to believe he could just treat me like that after all the “I love you’s” and other endearing words that just suddenly stopped. Unfathomable. It’s been months and still no communication. I feel the most upset because I wasted time grieving for the loss of this longtime “friendship”. This video helped explain it so well. I feel like I can move on…thank you so much 🙏🏻
I had a relationship just like this. We became bf/gf, I got undeniable proof she cheated: At that point, I realized the person I thought I knew was proving me a false version of themselves. So in reality it was extremely quick to move on. I didn’t confront her, just wrote a letter and went no contact.
The best is when they get you to promise not to give up on them then they up and disappear. The only way out they leave you is to break your word and give up on the person you love. Pretty hard thing for a good loyal person to do. Basically giving up on your core morals.
Ghosting is the work of the Devil. The consequences of being ghosted are long lasting, terrifying. In particular if you are old, alone, being ghosted by a previous acquaintance.
I think it's about control and selfishness. The person doing it only cares about their own feelings and also gets to avoid having to deal with the other person's reaction. My family sucked at feelings, and I don't ghost people because I don't want to make other people feel bad. Of course, it lets the other person know the ghoster is not dating material, but it deprives them of the opportunity to tell them they're a jerk.
It does no good to tell them They’re a jerk, people know who they are, and what they do. Actions speak louder than words, ghost the ghoster. Easier said than done but worth it.
@@shawdeejay5408 Me toom i express my feeling ( after asking if they are ok or did I say something wrong) and opinion to them. Then I will delete their number to process and accept my pain and let time heal.
In his last text he efen wrote " you are sweet, honest and cute what do I need more, love you" Then he dissapeared. I go from: I ruined it to: everything was fake to: I'm not good or pretty enough to: feelihg ashamed bc I sent him a message about how it hurts, to give myself closure.
@@peaceofmindofpeace1650 Even though my screen name is Matthew 24:14, I am a woman named Catherine who has been ghosted by someone I once deeply loved. Not once but twice. The first time in my mid 20s and again when we remet in our late 50s. The pain was so intense. It took some time but I came to realize he never 'grew up'...he was exactly the same as when we were in a 7 year relationship in our youth. Honey...it is NOT you. You deserve to be treated so much better. With my guy I realized it was more about an ego boost fot him to know that I still had feelings for him after all these years. When we had reconnected 30 years later he would sporadically text, not call when he said he would and even blew off a date we had planned without explanation. After that, I wrote a FIVE PAGE letter expressing my feelings from the past and the present at that time and then wished him well. He was not the right fit for me afterall. Please don't be ashamed because of sharing your feelings. He just wasn't the right person for YOU. Life can be so hard sometimes. Try to just focus on becoming the best, most mentally healthy person you can be. Learn to develop your own happiness. Never chase a man. YOU are the prize...not him. 💮 Hold higher standards. Don't settle for less than what is right for you. Remember: men are mainly out there for s3x. You are not obligated...wait until you are married. Then, that will be his prize. Hoping the best for you.
" Ghoster vs ghosty" Wow! Lack of communication of sharing feelings. Trauma childhood or up bringing. They don't want to expose their feelings of vulnerability. Avoiding confrontation, talking it out. So it starts with the root. We are adults struggling to express our feelings because it makes us appear weak or vulnerable. Solution learn to express yourself or learn to communicate. "Defense mechanism" More reflection on the ghoster. You are awesome! This was informative and vital. I understand on a deeper in depth level its stem to the root cause childhood upbringing
I've been ghosted after 10 years of distance relationship. Years past by since than but I was really very hurt for a long time. Now I'm good and I know it wasn't about me, but rather about him. The only thing I regret is for be stupid and for investing my valuable time in wrong relationship. I would never do that again.
Not always romantic. My best friend for decades and best man in my wedding just stopped responding to texts and calls. Being abandoned as a child this is really tough.
I have never ghosted anyone, even when I felt like it. My parents raised me to be respectful and treat people with dignity and respect. You have to recognize the tendencies of people who ghost. Usually people who do it have low self-esteem and have been mistreated in past relationships...So they have this cycle of narcissism they perpetuate. What they will do is bait you into getting comfortable, then they will just cut off all communication. Best way to negate this and counter it is if you send a text, and they don't respond all day (I.E Anything more than 2-3 hours, most people aren't away from their phones that long) then absolutely do not communicate with them...Do not text back, do not call etc. After awhile they will probably call or text out of curiosity as to why you haven't taken their narcissistic bait. If they do not text or call and you are friends on social media they will do things to try to get your attention. Just ignore them and move on. As tough as that might seem it will benefit you and your mental health in the long run.
You'll change your perspective on that once you ghost someone who cheated on you. Once I got definitive proof my long term girlfriend cheating- I moved out, left a letter with the evidence of her cheating and when no contact. Months of her contacting me endlessly. Meaningless to confront a cheater unless you want closure for yourself, cheaters will take it as an ego stroke. I'm good with no closure. You thought she'd be grateful that I removed myself from her life and lifted her burden of sneaking around behind my back. Her mother accuses me of causing her mental trauma and attempted suicide from the ghosting.
@@thegamingchef3304 so many people gave me hell! Saying I was the bad guy. Apparently you’re supposed to forgive a cheater with grace and treat them with kindness.
Painful as fuck! An 18 year relationship came to an end by his ghosting. He’s ignored me for 4 months now. He’s in his 50’s Hardest thing I’ve had to try to get over ever!
Great video. I think that the most important thing is to remember that ghosting is more about the person who ghosted than the other person. Being in such a situation can leave one to question their deepest self. If not mentally stable, this kind of experience can wreck havoc on someone.
Me too! meet my love of my life!! I adored her, started at 15. continued until we were 22. I was with her romantically that monday, by friday I got off work went to see her, as she walked another guy past me to go out for dinner! I was never the same to this day. Not ever connected with another woman, been married, but never went to that place again!
You need to move on dude, holding on to something that long is too long. Crazy things happen in the world, our universe is literally the result of entropy. Dont try to analyze everything, just let go and move on. Become comfortable with just saying "weird, I don't know" and moving on and letting go.
Yeah they don't want to deal with it or take responsibility. It was so hurtful to me. He was at first so warm, saying amazing things to me and then ghosting me. Because I feel like he didn't even think of my feelings, we can't even be friends or "know" each other anymore. Too much hurt. He ruined everything.
Yes we know some of the same people and unfortunately, I will see him at various social events. It sucks because I am so nervous about seeing him and being triggered as it happened before.
A guy I was in love with ghosted me. He messaged me saying he loved and missed me. Three days later he took it back and then never spoke to me again, what’s worse is we work together I see him everyday. He stares at me but will not acknowledge me or answer any of my messages. The hurt is next level. I feel worthless.
Please find another job for yourself to maintain your mental health. His behavior is absolutely cruel. I'm sorry that he doesn't have the decency or empathy you deserve.
@ thank you. He’s done worse, he once messaged me saying he missed me and was upset because he wouldn’t see me for a few days Ashe was going away. I took the bait and got excited it was what I’d been hoping to hear for months, when I took the bait, he then messaged me saying he thought he was messaging my best friend who also works with us. I was devastated.
If you follow their breadcrumb trail back, you can see they were weaning themselves from you. I saw it but couldn't believe the person was doing that. Well, I believe now.
I just got ghosted by PhD in psychologyb/Psychotherapist. I feel sorry for her, AND IM PISSED! This helped alot. I can comfortably ignore her now. It was very hurtful .
My heart goes out to you. This video seems to be preoccupied with dating scenarios. My partner of four years just did exactly this, so I can't imagine how painful a 12yr marriage ending like this would be like.
I recently found my adult siblings after all these years as an adopted person. They intially acted so excited to meet me, but they have all ghosted me after only a few short weeks. They grew up in a broken home with an alcoholic dad. My life was complete opposite. Its almost like they don't know how to deal with a kind hearted person that wants to care about them.
@@BradShore Yes, but this has been one of the most painful experiences of my life. It's one of those things that I'll never fully understand, but I'll be here for them as long as life allows.
@@RHill40 Please don't give up. You made a good point: seems they don't know how to handle or trust kind-hearted, caring people. Attachment Theory explains a lot. Keep in touch with them knowing they are very wounded children at heart.
I feel so stupid 😢 it's because my life is a mess but then do people need to be so heartless and manipulate? I am so sick rn. Physically because of all this bs
I learned to withdraw emotionally as a child for survival, ghosting was second nature to me I was an adult child who was incapable of expressing my true feelings because I didn't know what my true feelings were, I believe FEAR controlled me. FEAR Forget Everything And Run.
I look back on this and I believe I was confusing ghosting with passive aggressive behavior, both are about avoiding communication but they manifest differently and have different characteristics. Passive aggressive use indirect communication where ghosting is complete disappearance, both leave a confused person who has no idea what they did wrong. These situations are where we learn to use our I feel statements but I feel intense love from you, it feels really good but will you please treat me like a piece of crap and use me more because I'm familiar with that.
@@erice7933there’s no rationalization or excuse for the behavior. It’s trash. People who do it should come with a giant warning sign but unfortunately they don’t so they need to stay away from others.
@@dcarrenob89 you missed the whole point. We all have different coping mechanisms and you have to be mature enough to know that people go through multiple things in life that you might not be able to comprehend or even resonate with.
I had a girl ghost me a few days ago. Talked for a while and than all of a sudden I didn't exist. She was asking how tall I am, what's my living situation etc. I answered, but in the back of my head I felt these are weird questions to ask someone you just met. Kinda glad she decided to disappear on her own, because I don't think it would have gone anywhere good.
dude me too. She asked me what my parents do? I’m like okay? She said she wanted to get food. I took it was an opportunity and messaged her if she wanted to get food this weekend. Been ghosted for 3 days now. Very unattractive. I dont wanna pursue her anymore but now Its gonna be awkward every day at school now. it really shows her lack of maturity and lack of empathy towards others. I think she might be a narcissist
I brought this woman some flowers just as a gesture of affection and interest and then we exchanged numbers. She sent me one message and then never responded to me since. I know people don’t owe you anything but that really hurt ngl
The comments are so serious as well as the video. Theres a disconnect between this melodrama and me being accused of "ghosting" ppl off grindr. Can we decide on a real definition?? Like maybe being friends for more than 2 months or being comfortable enough with eachother to exchange numbers?? Cause as it stands strangers are picking fights with me bc they're entitled to my time and life but I'm a bad person if I never agreed to such things and their behavior is putting me off?? Idk I wish we would reserve this term for close friendships and such. Not everyone you match with owes you a winded apology and break up for existing online with you for a couple weeks.
I met someone at a festival over the weekend and we got extremely close. Honestly I've never bonded with someone the way she and I bonded. Then after the festival she ghosted and it's been a stressful couple days. I'm glad this video was here for me because I think that's exactly what I needed to hear. It's not really about me is it? It's more about her and what she has going on. If she hasn't learned how to properly communicate then a relationship with her would have been even more stressful.
If you got ghosted despite many attempts to talk it out calmly, leaving them and moving on, is not ghosting. Take care of yourselves and remember you are worthy to be loved and treated with respect.
Thnak you sm for this. i have set so many boundaries these days. its like ghosters have evolved to manipulate and lie better instead of learning from their actions and changing. if someone isnt showing through actions u let them go right away after telling them ur boundaries.
As a Ghoster who's trying to improve (hence why I’m here) I obviously struggle with elements of communication but I want to highlight that its an internal struggle and hurting the other party is not my desire. Everytime it eats at me and once a couple days go by, its too awkward to respond.
It is never too late to respond. Learning how to articulate how you feel & what you think is of monumental importance for YOUR personal growth. You don't have to engage in any further explanations but please try not to vanish with zero explanation. It is cowardly & often makes the person you're ghosting feel worthless & understandably so since to them, you couldn't be bothered to spare 2min to tell them you are simply not interested in taking your relationship any further, wish them all the best & leave it at that.
I’m with you, and think there’s a fine line here where the “ghoster” might be in the right. I’ve had people “friends” do hurtful things to compromise our relationships, throw me under the bus by announcing on social media an “issue” without discussing it with me.. A self-proclaimed “BFF” knowingly offended me, doesn’t take ownership. Just disregards my feelings and sets out to find a new group of friends. Is it my place to reach out?
If someone has broken your reasonable boundaries you don’t owe them an explanation. No discussion. They made a conscious choice to violate that in a relationship. Such as cheating. I got all the closure I need and since that person wasn’t the person I thought they were, or I would not have trusted them. Why do shrinks feel the need to push additional “closure”. This was 35 years ago and she was a fake persona who I have never felt any need to validate with a discussion.
I think maybe something awful has happened to them and that's why I've had no contact since I last contacted them and we had a lovely chat. But equally, something awful could have happened on our end too. Ultimately, I would only ever fight for a child, and that's where I stand.
My older brother has done this to me more than once. After a period of a fairly good relationship where we were in regular contact with eachother ,he suddenly stopped texting , calling and emailing me after I ran into an unfortunate situation when my water pipes busted from the extreme cold. It required family to help me get them fixed and he suddenly disappeared from my life 3 weeks ago
its great to move on from these types of people. most love praise, attention and have ulterior motives like wanting money from you. when they don't get praise from you that makes them feel good anymore they drop you. and its better to just stay away from these types of people. tons of people I've tried to befriend on social media. Im nothing but nice to them and supportive of their work be it writings or art. I like to keep in contact with and talk to people who have common interests. Then when they serial ghost I get fed up and want to move on. I am no longer putting myself on fire to keep others warm.
They say the ghoster has no character and is a coward.. not to give you closure. First thing you think they were in an accident or something bad happened to them. They don't realize what they do to you when they ghost you.
Ugh. Going through this now. I had a wonderful date. Lots of eye contact, smiles, lots of “this is fun, I’m glad we did this.” At the door, he hugged me and said we could do it again. Then no texts, no calls. Now it’s almost two weeks later and I’ve been ghosted. How hard is it to send a quick text? I’ve done it without shame or embarrassment. I hate loose ends.
I've been ghosted by "friends" before. It's not a nice feeling, but I just move on. If they try to contact later. I ignore them. If they ghosted before they are no longer a friend.
Thank you for this video straight up Facts. Been ghosted so many times sadly. But i rather know tbh. I rather you hurt me and tell me than to just leave without giving any explanation. It just shows the person's character
Good explanation, I am being ghosted by my sister. She got to devide the inheritance….and ‘poof’. This is now going on for 2 years. My lawyer doesn’t know about Narcism, as he just says to talk to her …DUHHH. But you are right, my Narcissistic mom could not communicate in any way. She could only give commands. And of coarse my sister was the golden child, she now learns her son not to communicate, lie, devaluate, and learning to give silent treatment…as that is shown by his mother (my sister).I’ve seen the ‘emotional incest’ with my sister and her son. It makes me see another life is destroyed. But the poor kid doesn’t have a clue.
I know this sounds crazy but when I was in my early 20’s I was almost killed by my boyfriend who tried to strangle me. I’m now in my early 40’s and this last experience I dated a guy for 6 months. We took it slow. We had great chemistry, he would text me all day and then he ghosted me. He reappeared 3 months later and I stupidly tried again. He ghosted me again. That experience has been harder to get over than the first one I mentioned and I honestly don’t see myself dating ever again.
Thank you. This is the best explanation I've heard. Ten years later... really loved this guy, everything was fantastic. I ended it with him bc of deeper religious reasons. He was amazing so i came back to talk about it and try to work through it all. I thought it was all good. He kissed me passionately and then disappeared. Nothing worse than thinking you connected like lightning then they are gone. For years ive always thought what did i do wrong... but i think now maybe he was too hurt and the situation was too complicated and he just couldnt deal. His parents were divorced too... so maybe that had something to do with it. Literally for 10 years ive thought, was it my body? Was there another girl?? I mean endless possibilities. The truth is he couldnt deal and gave me no closure. I am happily married now, but it still haunts me like theres something wrong with me.. really needed this
Okay, I'm putting it out there. As a loving and trusting child, I had a friend in elementary school (6 years old), who I called my best friend. We laughed, joked, talked about any and everything, we were inseparable! However, there would be times when he would be extremely jealous of me, and stop talking to me. I never understood why (until much later in adulthood). He was very popular, and because of that, he could persuade others to ostracize me as well. This would go on for weeks. Inside I would feel crushed and hurt, then after time, ice would break and he would start talking to me again. This went on and off from 3rd grade until the 5th. I didn't realize it until later that it was jealousy, but I found it peculiar because I shared everything with him. It wasn't until after I left elementary school that Irealized I was being manipulated. Fast forward to adolescence, I had developed a tough exterior to protect my feelings from others, so that this sort of thing didn't happen again. It was a behavioral tactic to protect myself. And throughout high school, I got along to get along, but kept the outer shell in tact. As an adult, I'm finally on my own (literally). Mother deceased, Paternal father, not present, then also deceased, and left with unemotional step father who married someone else 6 months after my mother dies. I started to believe that people weren't loyal, and therefore, why trust them. A simple thing like a friend saying on the phone, "I'll call you back," only to find that they didn't mean "right away," but when they felt like it. So, I adopted that behavior as well. As the saying goes, "hurt people hurt people," and what I long for is connection. If I don't feel it, or sense manipulation or possessiveness, I'm gone. I recognize this, and as a ghoster, it's really a fear of being hurt or rejected, or just plain "done this already...over it" and it does somehow have to do with fear, vulnerability and self esteem. Sometimes it has to do with the realization that a relationship just isn't going anywhere because of growth or different outlooks, and no one wants to argue or have confrontation about why something doesn't work, it's exhausting. I've been ghosted as well, but I learned to never question why. In my experience, I just accepted that there was something that the other person needed what I couldn't provide, and looking at it from both sides, I can understand that, forgive them, and myself, move on...and love them from afar.
Thank you so much for this video,I was ghosted by someone who I had an intimate connection with and he wanted us to "be friends" and have "a connection" with me.We talked for about three months told me he was going through a process in his life but never though for one second that it meant he was going to ghost me. I tried calling,texting sended him gifts and gave him $100 for his birthday and never even got a thank you from him.I questioned myself over and over what did I do wrong or if I could have done something better? Your video made me realize there is something deeper going on with him and that it is not my fault that things turned out like this.
Emotional abuse full stop.....i saw red flags gave him the benefit of the doubt and here I'am after two years relationship in bits. No one deserves this. xx
This just happened to me and it’s very annoying…. Like just tell me to go away rather than have me sitting here confused af. The phases of emotions when someone ghosts you are confusion, sadness, anger in that order. 😅
After I got ghosted, I went through the stages of self-doubt, but I was secure enough to realize that him ghosting me was the closure I needed. I dodged a HUGE bullet with his help. I realized that I had zero need to be with a manchild who didn't even have the guts to properly end his own relationships without causing damage. Imagine NOT being ghosted, but being stuck with lots of covert narcissistic behaviors in a bad marriage instead. The true power isn't with the ghoster, it's with us, when we see the narcissist underneath all that flowy ghostly fabric they wear as a mask. Funny how that mask shatters off of the person not too long after they decide to float into that good night. Good riddance forever.
Ghosting is one of the most cruel and heinous psychological mind fks one human being can inflict on another and should only be used against someone who is abusive or violent. I was ghosted by my best friend of 39 years it was so horrible and painful but I was lucky they eventually explained themselves, it was a crappy explanation and I don't believe it but reading between the lines it became very obvious that my former friends marriage was in difficulty and as a former boyfriend I was thrown under the bus in a misguided attempt to fix a problem in her imagination. That helped me to heal fairly quickly.
I just got ghosted after talking to a guy for eight months on snap chatting. He expressed interest in me and was very sweet, he’s a marine and idk if he may have been closeted or something but I was falling for him. We never went on a date and recently he went back to Texas to visit family but for the past month he was opening my messages but not replying to my messages until days later. He ghosted me on Wednesday and it has hurt me so badly. This is the first time it has happened to me and I have unfriended him on Snapchat as he has already done to me. He hasn’t blocked me or anything so I’m wondering what happened. I found his Instagram and asked him kindly if he could let me know what went wrong. I haven’t had an answer yet but gosh this feels horrible.
This sounds like there's some shame on his part. It's possible that he's dealing with perhaps a belief system that creates fear within himself which prevents him from going forward. In that instance, there's nothing you can do but move on. He just may not be ready for you.
Similar thing happened to me today, but he blocked me basically everywhere without reason. I could in no shape or form contact him and ask what happened. The worst part is that he told me if he lost interest and moved on, he would tell me and be honest about it. I’ve been crying basically the whole day. Not because I loved him or anything (was too early), but because it makes me feel like I’m the fault, I’m trash and I’m worthless. That’s what ghosting does to people. I know some will disagree with this, but since I was blocked but wanted some sort of closure for myself, I created a second Facebook account just to send him a closure message. I didn’t attack him or was rude. I just explained that ghosting can really hurt someone and is much worse than just being honest. I said I wouldn’t have been mad if he told me the truth and that I won't disturb again after the message. I don’t know if he read everything but he blocked that account pretty quickly as well, so at least he knew I sent something. Maybe he thought I was weird and crazy after that but I don’t care. I thought I deserved the last words and to confront him. I think it’s important for people like that to be confronted and explained to why ghosting can be such a horrible act and why their behavior is not okay. We are human being with real feelings. Not some disposable garbage. Ghosting is never okay unless someone is harassing you, which I of course wasn’t. Today's dating world with all these dating apps and an overabundance of options seems to have made people cowards and dehumanizes people. We still have feelings behind the screen even if you can’t see it 😢.
I'm guessing he was interested in you but was already in a relationship/marriage and didn't tell you. There's usually a negative reason why someone would claim to be interested yet not go on a date. Whatever the reason, it's good that he's gone. Best wishes ❤️
I have just come across this video....thank u so much for your insight into this horrible behaviour.....it has changed the way I look at being ghosted .......this has bn so helpful
I felt true love after 40. The best thing in my life turned out to be the worst thing in my life. He dogged me so bad, I ghosted. Moved, changed my number and never looked back.
Yep. I have no trouble ghosting someone who is unfaithful, threatening, scamming, abusive, manipulative, potentially violent, not willing to commit, etc. It's my life versus theirs and I'll protect myself by ghosting them, if necessary.
@@natashadickson4819 That is considered as "no contact" with a narcissist, and not considered as "ghosting". Ghosting is everything is happy, suddenly he/she disappears without explanations.
I think it’s also important to make a distinction that quietly leaving a relationship where someone was abusive- whatever kind of relationship it was - isn’t ghosting- you don’t owe everyone an explanation.
I dont know. I come from a dysfunctional family and the guy I was talking to comes from a good one. My communication was open and clear but he was being inconsistent and lying/ avoiding, breadcrumbing etc
OMG this was Spot On!! Got ghosted like never before by a 26 year old. Hooked up , opened up. Red flags, never had a mom, dad was problem, and she only dates girls(lesbian) . Straight up Ghosted. Tons of issues, but when she did act like a straight woman , she was sweet and affectionate. Probably better i leave her issues to herself . Havent talke to her ina month and she lives about 500 ft away in the appartments next door haha. Oh well. I tried. and got used !!
I've recently been ghosted by my wife of 13 years. We've had our share of ups and downs but she has never simply just vanished like this. It's really got me hurt and confused, and honestly a little worried for her.
As regrettably harsh as this sounds she was never your wife it was just your time in the queue. I say that from experience . She’s the one with the problem not you. Move on and have a great life.
I think the best way to deal with this is not get to invested they need to make an effor for you to open up I think that can help you protect yourself from this people
It's a really sad and nasty thing to do, just to vanish. A simple " sorry, this isn't working for me anymore.I wish you all the best" Would be much better than just vanishing, and it takes only a minute to type. I have been ghosted and this action told me far more about this "friend" than all of our meetings put together did, just how cowardly and untrustworthy she is !!
Hi Brad! What about ghosting vs going no contact? Some of us have tried to talk about our issues with the other party but to no avail, and have had to break off these toxic relationships. I tried my very best to explain to my family that I needed them to respect my boundaries and they flat out refused, so I had no other choice but to go NC (VERY abridged story haha). Now I'm being accused of "ghosting" them though I did try very hard to make my needs heard. Then what? I feel like I'm painted as the bad guy when I was just trying to protect myself 🤷🏽♀️
Hey there! I hear where you’re coming from and wanted to give you some validation. I’ve also had to go no contact or do the “fade out” with certain people in my life in order to protect boundaries that were continually being violated. I think there is a certain point where we’ve tried all we can but need to walk away in order to avoid doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. “Closure” in these cases cannot exist because the other person does not have the capacity to see you as an autonomous being who exists separate from their control and convenience. They will never let you go willingly. The definitive decision to walk away comes from within. By this point, we have already done enough battle with untangling trauma bonds to manage a face-to-face confrontation that could easily suck us back into a toxic cycle.
Hi there! You've tried explaining, you've been reasonable---they don't want to hear it. Continue to protect yourself in whatever way feels comfortable, and enjoy the role of being "painted as the bad guy"! It's easier for them to say you're "ghosting" them and call you the "bad guy" rather than have to go inward and look at the hard truth of what you've been communicating to them. Allow them to have their denial, and enjoy the rest of YOUR life! :)
Being ghosted by someone you just started talking to before dating them, can hurt. Being ghosted by someone you started dating or were in a relationship with, hurts even worse.
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
I have been ghosted and it has made me crystal clear that it is something I will never ever do to another person and I will teach children to never do that to others as well. It caused me so much pain
Yeah it really hurts smh.. I hate that I’m going through it now
Stop and consider what people have been through that they have to do this. They never respect your decisions and agree to part amicably. They want to try to manipulate you into changing your mind. And I don’t think a good person is going to tell you why they are not interested in you if it’s not going to make you feel good about yourself yet that is the thing that they always beg to know. In an ideal world we would not have to ghost but we can’t trust people to respond maturely anymore
@@banquetoftheleviathan1404 depends on what you consider ghosting. Maybe if you only knew the person for a few days/weeks. The man who ghosted me was telling me he loved me, that he wanted us to go on a trip that weekend and we had been dating for three months, I also met all of his friends.
@@banquetoftheleviathan1404 No, a mature and responsible adult accepts those consequences and does the right thing.
a responsible adult respects peoples personal agency. don't be an entitled baby who throws hussy fits and it won't happen to you so much.@@jessp8238
The funny thing the ghoster is usually the one who showed a lot of interest in the beginning… so ironic
BPD
Always!!!
I’ll be ignoring someone n finally give them a chance and then when they disappear I tell them wth & they gaslight me & act like I’m the crazy one lol
Exactly!
Yes! That is what I cannot wrap my head around.
Been ghosted several times. One of My Rules of Life is that if someone doesn't value my friendship theirs is worth even less to me.
100%
💯
Facts Facts and more Facts periodt 💯
That was my ultimate conclusion
Give yourself enough respect to walk away from anyone who doesn't appreciate your self-worth. 🤔
We need to normalize that ghosting is literally a form of emotional abuse. It’s absolutely horrible and extremely painful to go through. Ultimately it’s extremely selfish and show emotional immaturity.
It's not. Some people are dangerous and if you let them know that you are going to leave or detach, they will hassle or harm you. For your own safety, you must leave or detach without giving notice. Block them too, as soon as you escape. 🚫 If you block them ahead of time, you're giving them a heads-up.
@rnroutlaw90439 ⭐️
If a person has not shown you that yo that they are a threat and they’re very kind and caring ? Just tell them how you feel
@@kodyb5869that part.
Not all oeople who get ghosted are toxic@rnroutlaw90439some ofusarecery vulnerable and lonely and area east target
Unless you are cutting someone abusive off, doing that to someone who has done nothing wrong, that is hurtful.
💯
Yes 💯 I am in full agreewith this thought, for your thought/thoughts
If I have done business with a company in good faith and he had violated my rights, They should be Disciplined in some way, And the consumer reinbursed
Yep. Ghost an abuser. Plan your escape. Give no prior warning. No contact afterwards.
You're right, but then I think people who want to ghost whip up an argument or something as an excuse and that's not really better
If someone can’t be bothered to be honest with you, then they don’t deserve you !!!!
If you didn't do something wrong to them, they wouldn't ghost you
@@jupitersnoot4915they don’t tell you what you did wrong tho
@@jupitersnoot4915OMG. Did you communicate that to them? Ghosting is a banding a relationship, friend lover etc *without* warning. JC
Ghosting someone as an adult is pathetic, weak and cruel.
No one can demand another Persons attention. If they leave without a Word, they have every right to do that.
@@your-username-here2308your probably a sociopath who does this
@@your-username-here2308 Yeah,yeah, yeah...Rationalize being a jerk. Pathetic.
Yes, it is,cowardly.
I am weak 😢
ghosting is toxic.
Thank you for this video. To all those that got ghosted: get distraction, be with your friends. Take time to heal and enjoy living YOUR life again by putting the focus back on YOU. Your life is not about them. X big virtual hugs to anyone who needs it🤗
I'm returning that hug. The girl I like just disappeared on me, won't even talk to me out of the blue. It sucks, but at the end of the day we cannot force someone. It comes to a point where we have no other option but letting them go.
Just got ghosted on Christmas morning
I’m going through it right now.. she just did it out of nowhere.. I figure it’s someone else but yeah shit sucks man
Thank you! It does hurt but I later realized that it had nothing to do with me.
🤗
The minute you realize someone has ghosted you do not call or text them. Let them go!
Definitely not. They will be made to feel small, stupid and ignorant.
Yupp if they don’t have the decency to text or call them simply move on
Idk but I think I’ve been blocked since this afternoon… I’m trying to figure out if maybe this person’s phone is off/dead or anything but ehh.. maybe not. Kinda sucks but I’ll definitely get over it.
Definitely our worth is more than this
I completely agree
I have been ghosted not long ago. I have no idea what I might have said or done that was not ok for him, but liked you said, it’s actually his problem, his lack of maturity to communicate or be respectful. It does hurt, though, even knowing that it’s not us and we will never know the reason for their decision to sever the contact. For me, it’s simply cowardice. A man who does that is not man enough for me.
Exactly just be glad you didn’t get married or had kids with him just imagine if he ghosted you if y’all had kids together…
They did you a favor by ghosting you. It's a form of abuse. Don't look back❤
I've had two women I loved in my 40 years ghost me. The first was my hs sweetheart, 3 years. Absolutely traumatizing and I can't believe I survived that. Then at 36 or so I was ghosted again, no abuse, not amazing relationships we weren't on cloud 9 but seemingly loved one another. We had mature conversations about if we should or needed or wanted to break up and move along we would talk about it.
I'm 100% sure both of these women wound up cheating on me and moving on with another dude immediately or before we even "broke up." disgusting.
I'm sorry you went through this pain. It's very cruel to have no closure. I hope you know your value in being someone who would never treat someone that way.
I think it's sadly the throw away nature of our modern society & the amount of disconnect that we have we've all been marinated in 🤔
Lack of consideration for any one but themselves
I’ve been ghosted many times over the years and I just accept it for what it is: rejection. I’ve never taken it personally. Having enough mature, healthy relationships with people helped with this mindset. As a millennial I just assume this will be the outcome 90% of the time with people I meet 🤷🏿♀️. I just assume they’re immature with poor communication skills and I go on about life. They always come back and I just stay silent. When you know your worth, you don’t try to convince people you’re valuable. Never trade in respect for attention. It’s hardly ever worth it.
It's sad that you have to expect that. We should live in a society where that is the exception and not the rule.
You get ghosted when you call the attention seekers bluff by withholding attention. You may have lost interest so didn't give them attention, but they want nothing to do with you even as a friend once you know what they are
THIS!!!! This is the post right here my Susta!!!!!
@@2Bluzin it is indeed. In my early 30s now but due to being a teenager growing up with social media platforms I know that not much has changed with the sensory overload of “options” at your fingertips. It’s to be expected.
They dont always come back, though
I was ghosted by someone I really liked a lot (not a romantic relationship) a few months ago and it still hurts. It's puzzling to me because she's someone who I really thought understood the importance and value of empathy, friendship and kindness. She's not a bad person and I'm not mad at her. I am disappointed. I know she's had a rough life at times, and I try to keep that perspective. I don't know the full story because she won't talk to me. I miss her and I get sad when I think about her, but I have to move on. It's something I don't wish on anyone. Not sure why but I've been thinking about her lately. But I know she doesn't want me in her life, and it would be a mistake to contact her. I'm kind of rambling here. It helps a bit and write this out and get it off my chest. I have to take care of myself. To anyone dealing with this, hang in there. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Sorry to hear you’re going through that. It’s really tough. I guess we have to realize everyone in our life will come and go in some way. Some of us stay with us for life, but even they eventually die. Not to be morbid. Just saying, people’s priorities change, people themselves change, situations change, people come into our lives and leave and then new people come in. We might miss those people for life, but there’s always great new people to meet if we try.
Thank you. I'm now having more good days than bad days now. But the hurt is still there. It visits me like some random tide that comes in and then goes away after a while. I just wish she had told me upfront what was going on. There was no need for this ghosting BS. I hope you are well.@@lionelgrisbane-ud87
Its really really abusive to ghost a friend
It happened to me January 1st, got used and Ghosted by a young lesbian. Sucked tho, cause she was so sweet. Told me all her family trauma and opened up, then Ghost. She used me in her car and i never talked to her again. Her issues were no mom, no dad, tons more red flags. Ive learned from it .
@@lionelgrisbane-ud87same exact thing happened to me and my friend who I called my sister. I still don’t understand why she ghosted me when I was the only person in her life that cared for her and tried to help her. She had a horrible childhood with parents not caring. She has no other friends. A sister who lives far away that she barely speaks to and a brother she cut off. Why ghost the only person who helped her through tough times?!
Ghosting is a rotten and horrible form of abuse. I believe any person that you choose to have an interaction with Deserves a final statement and a chance at rebuttal. IT IS THE ONLY WAY TO LEAN FROM EACH OTHER.
You're kidding, right? "Learn from each other?" I learned he is a liar and I was a vulnerable fool. I learned on my own, that HE is the loser and in the end, he did me a favor.
@@sagrammyfour Yeah it would learning for me
Plenty of people ghost because they were abused when they tried to do it the way you want
@@banquetoftheleviathan1404 WTF is wrong with you?!
@@sagrammyfoursame here. We've known each other for more than 30 years and been involved on and off for 27 of those years.14 months ago he ghosted and discarded me for his female roommate who is 26 years younger than him. I pretty sure he was falling in love with her. He hated the guy she was seeing. He acted more like a jealous boyfriend than a father figure.
Ghosting can definitely hurt. It’s too much to try to “mind read” what or why the ghoster ghosted u..
Mature ppl communicate with you. I know it’s hard to have some conversations, but it’s also the right thing to do to communicate with someone. Leaving someone “hanging” and just ghosting them without explanation is telling of that person. There’s so many ways to communicate you just hv to be willing. Don’t allow other ppl to waste ur time. Value yourself enough to not give ppl that power over u.
Exactly periodt 💯
For sure, you should value yourself and not chase a person that ghosts you. And it's not necessary about lack of communication, rather that another person does not value your relationship at this given time. Those, who need this relationship more - will be the one willing to communicate, and usually it's the one being ghosted. But other person just does not need you at a given period of their life for some (only known to that person, or not) reason. They may come back when they're done with their stuff.
Ofc, the necessary step is re-evaluation. Whether you need a person, that treats you like that. And yeah, it's needed for healthy relationship to have communication of such moments, but not all people are mature enough to do so.
The best thing - is evaluate another person by their actions. That's where your importance or lack of it for them is.
Maybe in some cases, ghosting is also a form of abuse.
It is
@@swiftkarma4436 nah
It is abuse
For sure it's emotional abuse......but I sometimes wonder if the person that has been ghosted hasn't also unknowingly contributrd to being ghosted ..... be careful who u date...thats what I've learnt from my ghosting experience
it most certainly abuse
I was ghosted by someone I knew for 4 years. The last 5 months we talked about every day - then nothing. Bizarre. And what a colossal waste of time.
Couple of months ago, I labeled ghosting as the one thing "I hated the most". My parents did that to me. It's very hurtful. Couple of weeks ago, a person I met, did it again. But just like you said in the beginning, it's more about them! Nothing to be mad about or taking personally. Actually, thanks for being honest and showing your dark side to me. But you're not going to be my partner or friend ever.
I was ghosted by a man who I was seeing for 4 months and he claimed to love me. I’m absolutely heartbroken and so angry, I cry myself to sleep and my mental health has suffered so much, it’s so cowardly and cruel , it’s made me feel worthless. How anyone could do that to another person is beyond me. He was 62 and I thought a man of that age would have more integrity and maturity.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's usually the men that do this. How are you feeling now? I've been ghosted twice in 4 months without reason or explanation despite being respectful, kind, encouraging, empathetic etc.
They will get their just deserts
@@OnMyGrindNowForever Plenty of women do the ghosting too.
@@racebannon96
Men do it waaaay more. Also a lot of ladies are not functioning properly due to what men did to them. I mean even I am tempted to go ghost on the next man that approaches me as my mindset is 98% of them do. So I better ghost them first before they ghost me. I'm trying very hard not to be traumatized by both experiences.
So what are the stats that men do it more than women?
@@racebannon96
Also when you consider that sooo many women are subjected to "dick pics", or aggressive behavior from men, I can see them using ghosting to protect themselves.
Men are also more narcissistic in nature. They tend to be a lot more self-centered and selfish. So it's a no-brainer that they ghost women more. Women are more loving and caring. So which sex do you think is likely to engage in this behavior more? Let's not even debate it.
Ghosting others is evil it is a form of non-verbal harrasment.
I agree
I've been rejected more times than a telemarketer, and flaked on more times than someone's bad dandruff problem. Now, I'm just getting too old, and I think the only good all that pain did for me was it turned me into a better comedian.
This is sadly why so many of us can laugh even when it hurts like hell. We learn to joke,laugh,clown around to not let them get to us. My Grandpa told me that some of the most famous Clowns in the old days had some of the deepest sorrows..🤡=😭☹️😶🌹🌻🌼🌺🌹☘️🌳Sometimes we must make our own "Rose Garden!!🏞️🌄🌅🌴🌳🌲🌵🌠🌌🐦🦜🐓🐎🐕🐈🐈⬛🦝🦊🐰🐭🐹🐮🐸🐴Sometimes animals have been my best buddies!💯🕊️
I like your at
Lol
It's sad.
You’re funny! 😂
Hope life’s going well for you.
just been ghosted and it was honestly like the worst experience I’ve ever had to go through. Nothing tore my self-esteem down more than having the person that was saying I love you to you every day to hearing nothing from them for a whole month. we were broken up, but we have been talking for the months following our break up and he had just suddenly decided not to reply to me after I confessed my love for him still and said sorry for everything I did. i had a feeling like we were going to get back together eventually, but now I don’t believe that so much. Just in a weird stage of grief right now, but i’m turning to God to help me through it.
It seems to me that you met a severe avoidant, these are very broken people who leave you completely confused…it’s not you.
It's so hard! I can't sleep and can't stop thinking about it.
I feel your pain.
Look up disconnected avoidant attachment style. It isn't you. They have the issues. They're basically that weird uncle you always knew about.
@@cyndrellawhitley7062😂
When they say "I wouldn't ghost you.", then a week later do that. So now you're a ghost and a fucking liar! I'm awesome your loss! I'll be on the beach by myself!
This statement is truth & great! Ty.
I had this happen to me
@@jessicakim2511 she actually commented on one of my RUclips videos recently. I didn't know how to respond, so I didn't.
But do they really realize that we are a great loss???
Yes rhey do@@denisekochon7473
You seem to making light of this very painful experience for those who have been the recipient of this cowardly, cruel, and selfish behavior.
I’ve been ghosted twice in the last month. Yeah, it sucks if you’ve ever had it happen. Chin up and move on.
This is so much my story! Sending healing hugs across to all who have gone through this phase....
Ghosters are all narcissists.
As a ghoster I agree
That's ridiculous. Don't make blanket statements.
@@justinpennington7682uhh
The therapist in the video stated ghosted have not learned how to openly communicate.
I was just ghosted by someone I never thought would ever do that to me. I’m more confused about it than anything else, but I guess it’s just another example of not truly knowing someone you thought you understood. I wish nothing but the best for them and if this helps them find peace and happiness then so be it.
It may be easier for someone who has an avoidant attachment style. In other cases it's used as an abusive method by narcissists and other toxic individuals. A narcissist will often give a person the silent treatment, and vanish without explanation for extended periods of time. All of a sudden he/she will back again to get their dose of narcissistic supply.
I’ve been ghosted recently…what just happened??? 😮 We were friends since 12 years ago…we progressed to being more intimate and having so much fun and sharing not only ourselves, but our family too. I found it difficult to believe he could just treat me like that after all the “I love you’s” and other endearing words that just suddenly stopped. Unfathomable. It’s been months and still no communication. I feel the most upset because I wasted time grieving for the loss of this longtime “friendship”. This video helped explain it so well. I feel like I can move on…thank you so much 🙏🏻
I had a relationship just like this. We became bf/gf, I got undeniable proof she cheated: At that point, I realized the person I thought I knew was proving me a false version of themselves. So in reality it was extremely quick to move on. I didn’t confront her, just wrote a letter and went no contact.
@yours perhaps he's never been a friend at the first place.
The best is when they get you to promise not to give up on them then they up and disappear.
The only way out they leave you is to break your word and give up on the person you love.
Pretty hard thing for a good loyal person to do. Basically giving up on your core morals.
Ghosting is the work of the Devil. The consequences of being ghosted are long lasting, terrifying. In particular if you are old, alone, being ghosted by a previous acquaintance.
No-one owes you contact.
@@jupitersnoot4915
What a horrible thing to say
I think it's about control and selfishness. The person doing it only cares about their own feelings and also gets to avoid having to deal with the other person's reaction. My family sucked at feelings, and I don't ghost people because I don't want to make other people feel bad.
Of course, it lets the other person know the ghoster is not dating material, but it deprives them of the opportunity to tell them they're a jerk.
It does no good to tell them They’re a jerk, people know who they are, and what they do. Actions speak louder than words, ghost the ghoster. Easier said than done but worth it.
Nope I still call them out . I don’t care it’s valid to be upset
@@shawdeejay5408 Me toom i express my feeling ( after asking if they are ok or did I say something wrong) and opinion to them. Then I will delete their number to process and accept my pain and let time heal.
Ehh, selfish on the person making attention demands? Yeah.. probably
Why is it so hard to simply be HONEST and not behave like a coward 😡
In his last text he efen wrote " you are sweet, honest and cute what do I need more, love you"
Then he dissapeared.
I go from: I ruined it to: everything was fake to: I'm not good or pretty enough to: feelihg ashamed bc I sent him a message about how it hurts, to give myself closure.
@@peaceofmindofpeace1650 Even though my screen name is Matthew 24:14, I am a woman named Catherine who has been ghosted by someone I once deeply loved. Not once but twice. The first time in my mid 20s and again when we remet in our late 50s. The pain was so intense. It took some time but I came to realize he never 'grew up'...he was exactly the same as when we were in a 7 year relationship in our youth. Honey...it is NOT you. You deserve to be treated so much better. With my guy I realized it was more about an ego boost fot him to know that I still had feelings for him after all these years. When we had reconnected 30 years later he would sporadically text, not call when he said he would and even blew off a date we had planned without explanation. After that, I wrote a FIVE PAGE letter expressing my feelings from the past and the present at that time and then wished him well. He was not the right fit for me afterall. Please don't be ashamed because of sharing your feelings. He just wasn't the right person for YOU. Life can be so hard sometimes. Try to just focus on becoming the best, most mentally healthy person you can be. Learn to develop your own happiness. Never chase a man. YOU are the prize...not him. 💮 Hold higher standards. Don't settle for less than what is right for you. Remember: men are mainly out there for s3x. You are not obligated...wait until you are married. Then, that will be his prize. Hoping the best for you.
Its emotional abuse by someone that doesnt value you
“It’s up to an adult to communicate” thank you
" Ghoster vs ghosty"
Wow! Lack of communication of sharing feelings. Trauma childhood or up bringing.
They don't want to expose their feelings of vulnerability. Avoiding confrontation, talking it out. So it starts with the root. We are adults struggling to express our feelings because it makes us appear weak or vulnerable. Solution learn to express yourself or learn to communicate. "Defense mechanism" More reflection on the ghoster.
You are awesome! This was informative and vital. I understand on a deeper in depth level its stem to the root cause childhood upbringing
I've been ghosted after 10 years of distance relationship. Years past by since than but I was really very hurt for a long time. Now I'm good and I know it wasn't about me, but rather about him. The only thing I regret is for be stupid and for investing my valuable time in wrong relationship. I would never do that again.
Not always romantic. My best friend for decades and best man in my wedding just stopped responding to texts and calls. Being abandoned as a child this is really tough.
Yes this can apply to many👍
I have never ghosted anyone, even when I felt like it. My parents raised me to be respectful and treat people with dignity and respect. You have to recognize the tendencies of people who ghost. Usually people who do it have low self-esteem and have been mistreated in past relationships...So they have this cycle of narcissism they perpetuate. What they will do is bait you into getting comfortable, then they will just cut off all communication. Best way to negate this and counter it is if you send a text, and they don't respond all day (I.E Anything more than 2-3 hours, most people aren't away from their phones that long) then absolutely do not communicate with them...Do not text back, do not call etc. After awhile they will probably call or text out of curiosity as to why you haven't taken their narcissistic bait. If they do not text or call and you are friends on social media they will do things to try to get your attention. Just ignore them and move on. As tough as that might seem it will benefit you and your mental health in the long run.
Great insights and boundary setting! Thanks for sharing....
You'll change your perspective on that once you ghost someone who cheated on you. Once I got definitive proof my long term girlfriend cheating- I moved out, left a letter with the evidence of her cheating and when no contact. Months of her contacting me endlessly. Meaningless to confront a cheater unless you want closure for yourself, cheaters will take it as an ego stroke. I'm good with no closure. You thought she'd be grateful that I removed myself from her life and lifted her burden of sneaking around behind my back. Her mother accuses me of causing her mental trauma and attempted suicide from the ghosting.
@@standground8284 Cheating or crazy is different.
@@thegamingchef3304 👍
@@thegamingchef3304 so many people gave me hell! Saying I was the bad guy. Apparently you’re supposed to forgive a cheater with grace and treat them with kindness.
Wow i just went through this. I think its very immature to just leave someone in that state. Im currently healing now. Thank You for the video🙏🏾
Painful as fuck!
An 18 year relationship came to an end by his ghosting. He’s ignored me for 4 months now.
He’s in his 50’s
Hardest thing I’ve had to try to get over ever!
Great video. I think that the most important thing is to remember that ghosting is more about the person who ghosted than the other person. Being in such a situation can leave one to question their deepest self. If not mentally stable, this kind of experience can wreck havoc on someone.
I was ghosted 40 years ago. Still trying to understand what happened.
I think that will be me. Happened 1.5 years ago and I am still thinking about it. I hate it.
@@starcatcher3691 No, no. Don't let that happen. You deserve better.
Me too! meet my love of my life!! I adored her, started at 15. continued until we were 22. I was with her romantically that monday, by friday I got off work went to see her, as she walked another guy past me to go out for dinner! I was never the same to this day. Not ever connected with another woman, been married, but never went to that place again!
You need to move on dude, holding on to something that long is too long. Crazy things happen in the world, our universe is literally the result of entropy. Dont try to analyze everything, just let go and move on. Become comfortable with just saying "weird, I don't know" and moving on and letting go.
Yeah they don't want to deal with it or take responsibility. It was so hurtful to me. He was at first so warm, saying amazing things to me and then ghosting me. Because I feel like he didn't even think of my feelings, we can't even be friends or "know" each other anymore. Too much hurt. He ruined everything.
Yes we know some of the same people and unfortunately, I will see him at various social events. It sucks because I am so nervous about seeing him and being triggered as it happened before.
A guy I was in love with ghosted me. He messaged me saying he loved and missed me. Three days later he took it back and then never spoke to me again, what’s worse is we work together I see him everyday. He stares at me but will not acknowledge me or answer any of my messages. The hurt is next level. I feel worthless.
Please find another job for yourself to maintain your mental health. His behavior is absolutely cruel. I'm sorry that he doesn't have the decency or empathy you deserve.
@ thank you. He’s done worse, he once messaged me saying he missed me and was upset because he wouldn’t see me for a few days Ashe was going away. I took the bait and got excited it was what I’d been hoping to hear for months, when I took the bait, he then messaged me saying he thought he was messaging my best friend who also works with us. I was devastated.
@@tarantulagirl More cruel behavior that seems purposeful. Curious what your best friend said about this
'mistake"?
@ well my best friend had literally just got married and she cannot stand this guy because of what he’s done to me
I was being breadcrumbed, then ghosted. It's been 4 months so far. I'm still choking on that bread.
If you follow their breadcrumb trail back, you can see they were weaning themselves from you. I saw it but couldn't believe the person was doing that. Well, I believe now.
I just got ghosted by PhD in psychologyb/Psychotherapist. I feel sorry for her, AND IM PISSED! This helped alot. I can comfortably ignore her now. It was very hurtful .
They're the worst nut jobs
I know this personally😊
Move on you deserve so much better
😂 I would see if she has a office. Maybe you need somebody to talk about this 😂
@@Summer25080
So true. Mine studied psychology so he knew darn well the excruciating pain he was about to put me through when he ghosted me
My husband of 12 years literally discarded me and ghosted me. Sadly I will have zero closure until divorce court. So evil
Still marriage ending is a closure. He must give a valid reason to obtain divorce
My heart goes out to you. This video seems to be preoccupied with dating scenarios. My partner of four years just did exactly this, so I can't imagine how painful a 12yr marriage ending like this would be like.
@rebecca_stone they leave a trail of devastation with Zero regrets. Hugs
I’m so sorry. Fuck that guy
I recently found my adult siblings after all these years as an adopted person. They intially acted so excited to meet me, but they have all ghosted me after only a few short weeks. They grew up in a broken home with an alcoholic dad. My life was complete opposite. Its almost like they don't know how to deal with a kind hearted person that wants to care about them.
@@RHill40 How wonderful that you were raised by a loving, healthy family 🌠🌠🌠
@@BradShore Yes, but this has been one of the most painful experiences of my life. It's one of those things that I'll never fully understand, but I'll be here for them as long as life allows.
@@RHill40 Please don't give up. You made a good point: seems they don't know how to handle or trust kind-hearted, caring people. Attachment Theory explains a lot. Keep in touch with them knowing they are very wounded children at heart.
I feel so stupid 😢 it's because my life is a mess but then do people need to be so heartless and manipulate? I am so sick rn. Physically because of all this bs
I learned to withdraw emotionally as a child for survival, ghosting was second nature to me I was an adult child who was incapable of expressing my true feelings because I didn't know what my true feelings were, I believe FEAR controlled me. FEAR Forget Everything And Run.
Are you proud of hurting others with your behavior?
I look back on this and I believe I was confusing ghosting with passive aggressive behavior, both are about avoiding communication but they manifest differently and have different characteristics. Passive aggressive use indirect communication where ghosting is complete disappearance, both leave a confused person who has no idea what they did wrong. These situations are where we learn to use our I feel statements but I feel intense love from you, it feels really good but will you please treat me like a piece of crap and use me more because I'm familiar with that.
That's an honest self realization..
@@erice7933there’s no rationalization or excuse for the behavior. It’s trash. People who do it should come with a giant warning sign but unfortunately they don’t so they need to stay away from others.
@@dcarrenob89 you missed the whole point. We all have different coping mechanisms and you have to be mature enough to know that people go through multiple things in life that you might not be able to comprehend or even resonate with.
I had a girl ghost me a few days ago. Talked for a while and than all of a sudden I didn't exist. She was asking how tall I am, what's my living situation etc. I answered, but in the back of my head I felt these are weird questions to ask someone you just met. Kinda glad she decided to disappear on her own, because I don't think it would have gone anywhere good.
dude me too. She asked me what my parents do? I’m like okay? She said she wanted to get food. I took it was an opportunity and messaged her if she wanted to get food this weekend. Been ghosted for 3 days now. Very unattractive. I dont wanna pursue her anymore but now Its gonna be awkward every day at school now. it really shows her lack of maturity and lack of empathy towards others. I think she might be a narcissist
I brought this woman some flowers just as a gesture of affection and interest and then we exchanged numbers. She sent me one message and then never responded to me since. I know people don’t owe you anything but that really hurt ngl
@capalottslimalini2878 that's a scammer
Said he was interested, I asked him 2 times. Now I know me asking that question gave me my answer.
The comments are so serious as well as the video. Theres a disconnect between this melodrama and me being accused of "ghosting" ppl off grindr. Can we decide on a real definition?? Like maybe being friends for more than 2 months or being comfortable enough with eachother to exchange numbers?? Cause as it stands strangers are picking fights with me bc they're entitled to my time and life but I'm a bad person if I never agreed to such things and their behavior is putting me off?? Idk I wish we would reserve this term for close friendships and such. Not everyone you match with owes you a winded apology and break up for existing online with you for a couple weeks.
Spoken like a true narcissist.
I met someone at a festival over the weekend and we got extremely close. Honestly I've never bonded with someone the way she and I bonded. Then after the festival she ghosted and it's been a stressful couple days. I'm glad this video was here for me because I think that's exactly what I needed to hear. It's not really about me is it? It's more about her and what she has going on. If she hasn't learned how to properly communicate then a relationship with her would have been even more stressful.
It also is a horrible method in family relationships and very close friendships
Wow this really makes sense how you explain it! I definitely struggle with this. This could be a whole series!
I was ghosted recently 😳 and this analysis really helps put it into perspective. Thank you for this!
If you got ghosted despite many attempts to talk it out calmly, leaving them and moving on, is not ghosting. Take care of yourselves and remember you are worthy to be loved and treated with respect.
Ghosting is so cruel. How can you love somebody one day then just vanish.
Yeah,that's terrible.
Thnak you sm for this. i have set so many boundaries these days. its like ghosters have evolved to manipulate and lie better instead of learning from their actions and changing. if someone isnt showing through actions u let them go right away after telling them ur boundaries.
@@spacechannelg6843 Well said!👏👏👏👏👏
As a Ghoster who's trying to improve (hence why I’m here) I obviously struggle with elements of communication but I want to highlight that its an internal struggle and hurting the other party is not my desire. Everytime it eats at me and once a couple days go by, its too awkward to respond.
It is never too late to respond. Learning how to articulate how you feel & what you think is of monumental importance for YOUR personal growth.
You don't have to engage in any further explanations but please try not to vanish with zero explanation. It is cowardly & often makes the person you're ghosting feel worthless & understandably so since to them, you couldn't be bothered to spare 2min to tell them you are simply not interested in taking your relationship any further, wish them all the best & leave it at that.
You do it anyway. You DO owe people respect
I’m with you, and think there’s a fine line here where the “ghoster” might be in the right. I’ve had people “friends” do hurtful things to compromise our relationships, throw me under the bus by announcing on social media an “issue” without discussing it with me.. A self-proclaimed “BFF” knowingly offended me, doesn’t take ownership. Just disregards my feelings and sets out to find a new group of friends. Is it my place to reach out?
If someone has broken your reasonable boundaries you don’t owe them an explanation. No discussion. They made a conscious choice to violate that in a relationship. Such as cheating.
I got all the closure I need and since that person wasn’t the person I thought they were, or I would not have trusted them. Why do shrinks feel the need to push additional “closure”. This was 35 years ago and she was a fake persona who I have never felt any need to validate with a discussion.
Best answer on ghosting, especially skills, role model and family background.
I think maybe something awful has happened to them and that's why I've had no contact since I last contacted them and we had a lovely chat. But equally, something awful could have happened on our end too. Ultimately, I would only ever fight for a child, and that's where I stand.
My older brother has done this to me more than once.
After a period of a fairly good relationship where we were in regular contact with eachother ,he suddenly stopped texting , calling and emailing me after I ran into an unfortunate situation when my water pipes busted from the extreme cold. It required family to help me get them fixed and he suddenly disappeared from my life 3 weeks ago
its great to move on from these types of people. most love praise, attention and have ulterior motives like wanting money from you. when they don't get praise from you that makes them feel good anymore they drop you. and its better to just stay away from these types of people. tons of people I've tried to befriend on social media. Im nothing but nice to them and supportive of their work be it writings or art. I like to keep in contact with and talk to people who have common interests. Then when they serial ghost I get fed up and want to move on. I am no longer putting myself on fire to keep others warm.
They say the ghoster has no character and is a coward.. not to give you closure. First thing you think they were in an accident or something bad happened to them. They don't realize what they do to you when they ghost you.
Ugh. Going through this now. I had a wonderful date. Lots of eye contact, smiles, lots of “this is fun, I’m glad we did this.” At the door, he hugged me and said we could do it again. Then no texts, no calls. Now it’s almost two weeks later and I’ve been ghosted. How hard is it to send a quick text? I’ve done it without shame or embarrassment. I hate loose ends.
I've been ghosted by "friends" before. It's not a nice feeling, but I just move on. If they try to contact later. I ignore them. If they ghosted before they are no longer a friend.
Thank you for this video straight up Facts. Been ghosted so many times sadly. But i rather know tbh. I rather you hurt me and tell me than to just leave without giving any explanation. It just shows the person's character
Good explanation, I am being ghosted by my sister. She got to devide the inheritance….and ‘poof’. This is now going on for 2 years. My lawyer doesn’t know about Narcism, as he just says to talk to her …DUHHH.
But you are right, my Narcissistic mom could not communicate in any way. She could only give commands. And of coarse my sister was the golden child, she now learns her son not to communicate, lie, devaluate, and learning to give silent treatment…as that is shown by his mother (my sister).I’ve seen the ‘emotional incest’ with my sister and her son. It makes me see another life is destroyed. But the poor kid doesn’t have a clue.
I know this sounds crazy but when I was in my early 20’s I was almost killed by my boyfriend who tried to strangle me. I’m now in my early 40’s and this last experience I dated a guy for 6 months. We took it slow. We had great chemistry, he would text me all day and then he ghosted me. He reappeared 3 months later and I stupidly tried again. He ghosted me again. That experience has been harder to get over than the first one I mentioned and I honestly don’t see myself dating ever again.
Thank you. This is the best explanation I've heard. Ten years later... really loved this guy, everything was fantastic. I ended it with him bc of deeper religious reasons. He was amazing so i came back to talk about it and try to work through it all. I thought it was all good. He kissed me passionately and then disappeared. Nothing worse than thinking you connected like lightning then they are gone. For years ive always thought what did i do wrong... but i think now maybe he was too hurt and the situation was too complicated and he just couldnt deal. His parents were divorced too... so maybe that had something to do with it. Literally for 10 years ive thought, was it my body? Was there another girl?? I mean endless possibilities. The truth is he couldnt deal and gave me no closure. I am happily married now, but it still haunts me like theres something wrong with me.. really needed this
@@memmie77 Thanks for sharing your story…..it may help many. 🙏
Okay, I'm putting it out there. As a loving and trusting child, I had a friend in elementary school (6 years old), who I called my best friend. We laughed, joked, talked about any and everything, we were inseparable! However, there would be times when he would be extremely jealous of me, and stop talking to me. I never understood why (until much later in adulthood). He was very popular, and because of that, he could persuade others to ostracize me as well. This would go on for weeks. Inside I would feel crushed and hurt, then after time, ice would break and he would start talking to me again. This went on and off from 3rd grade until the 5th. I didn't realize it until later that it was jealousy, but I found it peculiar because I shared everything with him. It wasn't until after I left elementary school that Irealized I was being manipulated.
Fast forward to adolescence, I had developed a tough exterior to protect my feelings from others, so that this sort of thing didn't happen again. It was a behavioral tactic to protect myself. And throughout high school, I got along to get along, but kept the outer shell in tact.
As an adult, I'm finally on my own (literally). Mother deceased, Paternal father, not present, then also deceased, and left with unemotional step father who married someone else 6 months after my mother dies.
I started to believe that people weren't loyal, and therefore, why trust them.
A simple thing like a friend saying on the phone, "I'll call you back," only to find that they didn't mean "right away," but when they felt like it.
So, I adopted that behavior as well.
As the saying goes, "hurt people hurt people," and what I long for is connection. If I don't feel it, or sense manipulation or possessiveness, I'm gone.
I recognize this, and as a ghoster, it's really a fear of being hurt or rejected, or just plain "done this already...over it" and it does somehow have to do with fear, vulnerability and self esteem.
Sometimes it has to do with the realization that a relationship just isn't going anywhere because of growth or different outlooks, and no one wants to argue or have confrontation about why something doesn't work, it's exhausting.
I've been ghosted as well, but I learned to never question why. In my experience, I just accepted that there was something that the other person needed what I couldn't provide, and looking at it from both sides, I can understand that, forgive them, and myself, move on...and love them from afar.
Well said.... You have grown within and out. In your next life, you will not have learn this lesson again. Good man.
cornelliuswhite just because someone disrespect (ghost) you, then you make an excuses to disrespect and manipulate innocent people out there. huh.
Thank you so much for this video,I was ghosted by someone who I had an intimate connection with and he wanted us to "be friends" and have "a connection" with me.We talked for about three months told me he was going through a process in his life but never though for one second that it meant he was going to ghost me. I tried calling,texting sended him gifts and gave him $100 for his birthday and never even got a thank you from him.I questioned myself over and over what did I do wrong or if I could have done something better? Your video made me realize there is something deeper going on with him and that it is not my fault that things turned out like this.
Emotional abuse full stop.....i saw red flags gave him the benefit of the doubt and here I'am after two years relationship in bits. No one deserves this. xx
Exactly same here, I was on guard because of early smooth talk, very charming.
6 months and it already hurts a lot.
Best content I’ve seen about ghosting, very mature outlook. Thank you
This just happened to me and it’s very annoying…. Like just tell me to go away rather than have me sitting here confused af. The phases of emotions when someone ghosts you are confusion, sadness, anger in that order. 😅
After I got ghosted, I went through the stages of self-doubt, but I was secure enough to realize that him ghosting me was the closure I needed. I dodged a HUGE bullet with his help. I realized that I had zero need to be with a manchild who didn't even have the guts to properly end his own relationships without causing damage. Imagine NOT being ghosted, but being stuck with lots of covert narcissistic behaviors in a bad marriage instead. The true power isn't with the ghoster, it's with us, when we see the narcissist underneath all that flowy ghostly fabric they wear as a mask. Funny how that mask shatters off of the person not too long after they decide to float into that good night. Good riddance forever.
Ghosting is one of the most cruel and heinous psychological mind fks one human being can inflict on another and should only be used against someone who is abusive or violent. I was ghosted by my best friend of 39 years it was so horrible and painful but I was lucky they eventually explained themselves, it was a crappy explanation and I don't believe it but reading between the lines it became very obvious that my former friends marriage was in difficulty and as a former boyfriend I was thrown under the bus in a misguided attempt to fix a problem in her imagination. That helped me to heal fairly quickly.
I just got ghosted after talking to a guy for eight months on snap chatting. He expressed interest in me and was very sweet, he’s a marine and idk if he may have been closeted or something but I was falling for him. We never went on a date and recently he went back to Texas to visit family but for the past month he was opening my messages but not replying to my messages until days later. He ghosted me on Wednesday and it has hurt me so badly. This is the first time it has happened to me and I have unfriended him on Snapchat as he has already done to me. He hasn’t blocked me or anything so I’m wondering what happened. I found his Instagram and asked him kindly if he could let me know what went wrong. I haven’t had an answer yet but gosh this feels horrible.
This sounds like there's some shame on his part. It's possible that he's dealing with perhaps a belief system that creates fear within himself which prevents him from going forward. In that instance, there's nothing you can do but move on. He just may not be ready for you.
Similar thing happened to me today, but he blocked me basically everywhere without reason. I could in no shape or form contact him and ask what happened. The worst part is that he told me if he lost interest and moved on, he would tell me and be honest about it. I’ve been crying basically the whole day. Not because I loved him or anything (was too early), but because it makes me feel like I’m the fault, I’m trash and I’m worthless. That’s what ghosting does to people.
I know some will disagree with this, but since I was blocked but wanted some sort of closure for myself, I created a second Facebook account just to send him a closure message. I didn’t attack him or was rude. I just explained that ghosting can really hurt someone and is much worse than just being honest. I said I wouldn’t have been mad if he told me the truth and that I won't disturb again after the message. I don’t know if he read everything but he blocked that account pretty quickly as well, so at least he knew I sent something. Maybe he thought I was weird and crazy after that but I don’t care. I thought I deserved the last words and to confront him.
I think it’s important for people like that to be confronted and explained to why ghosting can be such a horrible act and why their behavior is not okay. We are human being with real feelings. Not some disposable garbage. Ghosting is never okay unless someone is harassing you, which I of course wasn’t.
Today's dating world with all these dating apps and an overabundance of options seems to have made people cowards and dehumanizes people. We still have feelings behind the screen even if you can’t see it 😢.
I'm guessing he was interested in you but was already in a relationship/marriage and didn't tell you. There's usually a negative reason why someone would claim to be interested yet not go on a date. Whatever the reason, it's good that he's gone. Best wishes ❤️
@ericperez Basically, what the ghoster is saying is " you don't comply to me, so I have to cut all communications with you""
It's good you tried.
I have just come across this video....thank u so much for your insight into this horrible behaviour.....it has changed the way I look at being ghosted .......this has bn so helpful
I was ghosted. Just ignored. I hate him for doing that to me. It’s the worst feeling. But I know it’s him. Not me.
I felt true love after 40. The best thing in my life turned out to be the worst thing in my life. He dogged me so bad, I ghosted. Moved, changed my number and never looked back.
😆
Yep. I have no trouble ghosting someone who is unfaithful, threatening, scamming, abusive, manipulative, potentially violent, not willing to commit, etc. It's my life versus theirs and I'll protect myself by ghosting them, if necessary.
@@natashadickson4819 That is considered as "no contact" with a narcissist, and not considered as "ghosting". Ghosting is everything is happy, suddenly he/she disappears without explanations.
I think it’s also important to make a distinction that quietly leaving a relationship where someone was abusive- whatever kind of relationship it was - isn’t ghosting- you don’t owe everyone an explanation.
It happens with family too. Brothers & sisters.
I dont know. I come from a dysfunctional family and the guy I was talking to comes from a good one. My communication was open and clear but he was being inconsistent and lying/ avoiding, breadcrumbing etc
OMG this was Spot On!! Got ghosted like never before by a 26 year old. Hooked up , opened up. Red flags, never had a mom, dad was problem, and she only dates girls(lesbian) . Straight up Ghosted. Tons of issues, but when she did act like a straight woman , she was sweet and affectionate. Probably better i leave her issues to herself . Havent talke to her ina month and she lives about 500 ft away in the appartments next door haha. Oh well. I tried. and got used !!
I hate people that ghost me. I dont care about them anymore. Whatever hapens to them i dont care.
I've recently been ghosted by my wife of 13 years. We've had our share of ups and downs but she has never simply just vanished like this. It's really got me hurt and confused, and honestly a little worried for her.
As regrettably harsh as this sounds she was never your wife it was just your time in the queue. I say that from experience . She’s the one with the problem not you. Move on and have a great life.
Wife? Shouldn't this be considered a ground for divorce
Did you hear from her since then?
No we need to hear her story too. A lot of men out here playing victim.
Thank you, sir.
I think the best way to deal with this is not get to invested they need to make an effor for you to open up I think that can help you protect yourself from this people
Thanks!
Thanks for the ‘SuperThanks’!🔆
It's a really sad and nasty thing to do, just to vanish. A simple " sorry, this isn't working for me anymore.I wish you all the best" Would be much better than just vanishing, and it takes only a minute to type. I have been ghosted and this action told me far more about this "friend" than all of our meetings put together did, just how cowardly and untrustworthy she is !!
Thank you for the video, Ive just been ghosted and this video helps a lot
Hi Brad! What about ghosting vs going no contact? Some of us have tried to talk about our issues with the other party but to no avail, and have had to break off these toxic relationships. I tried my very best to explain to my family that I needed them to respect my boundaries and they flat out refused, so I had no other choice but to go NC (VERY abridged story haha). Now I'm being accused of "ghosting" them though I did try very hard to make my needs heard. Then what? I feel like I'm painted as the bad guy when I was just trying to protect myself 🤷🏽♀️
Hey there! I hear where you’re coming from and wanted to give you some validation.
I’ve also had to go no contact or do the “fade out” with certain people in my life in order to protect boundaries that were continually being violated.
I think there is a certain point where we’ve tried all we can but need to walk away in order to avoid doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
“Closure” in these cases cannot exist because the other person does not have the capacity to see you as an autonomous being who exists separate from their control and convenience. They will never let you go willingly.
The definitive decision to walk away comes from within. By this point, we have already done enough battle with untangling trauma bonds to manage a face-to-face confrontation that could easily suck us back into a toxic cycle.
Hi there! You've tried explaining, you've been reasonable---they don't want to hear it. Continue to protect yourself in whatever way feels comfortable, and enjoy the role of being "painted as the bad guy"! It's easier for them to say you're "ghosting" them and call you the "bad guy" rather than have to go inward and look at the hard truth of what you've been communicating to them. Allow them to have their denial, and enjoy the rest of YOUR life! :)
@@BradShore your advice is confusing and unhelpful
Being ghosted by someone you just started talking to before dating them, can hurt. Being ghosted by someone you started dating or were in a relationship with, hurts even worse.