r/CursedComments | Your Toes. Hand em' Over.

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  • Опубликовано: 11 янв 2025

Комментарии • 4,3 тыс.

  • @pajamapantsjack5874
    @pajamapantsjack5874 5 лет назад +40385

    I got text from friends saying they saw that comment on ifunny..
    This comment god life is a blessing and a curse oz

  • @ephemera-noctourniquet
    @ephemera-noctourniquet 5 лет назад +2013

    "Discovering something, that doesn't exist!"
    "Your mom."
    Genuinely hardest wheeze of my life

    • @beepboopzeroideas107
      @beepboopzeroideas107 5 лет назад +7

      So you wheeze when you laugh really hard as well!

    • @someperson9862
      @someperson9862 5 лет назад +3

      Riolu something else that doesn’t exist my spine

    • @ArtsieWolf
      @ArtsieWolf 5 лет назад +4

      Riolu I felt so baadddddd

    • @housemelancholy8788
      @housemelancholy8788 5 лет назад +2

      My hardest wheeze was just at this comment itself

    • @jeshcar
      @jeshcar 5 лет назад +3

      Discovering something that doesn't exist!
      MY DAD

  • @rawrfunkle9863
    @rawrfunkle9863 5 лет назад +752

    "mama didnt raise a quitter"
    If you can't beat em
    Join em
    I know I am

  • @lixlix4689
    @lixlix4689 5 лет назад +1043

    When my cat tries to drink out of a glass it’s “adorable” and “cute”, but when I drink out of the toilet I’m “weird” and a “disappointment” honestly double standards

    • @ELbabotas1
      @ELbabotas1 5 лет назад +12

      Ik

    • @TomTom-dj1xs
      @TomTom-dj1xs 4 года назад +29

      No you aren't a disappointment. Not in my cult.

    • @Account-vr4ch
      @Account-vr4ch 4 года назад +7

      *Oh my lord*

    • @TomTom-dj1xs
      @TomTom-dj1xs 4 года назад +3

      @@kflagor I am sorry, i have to ask the supreme leader

    • @AlmiGaslighter
      @AlmiGaslighter 4 года назад +1

      Tom Tom so what did the supreme leader say?

  • @FakeOutReads
    @FakeOutReads 5 лет назад +5199

    Why didn't i listen to the "stop eating" warning...

    • @TheMrTommo
      @TheMrTommo 5 лет назад +46

      Because you had airbods on, you couldn't hear it

    • @GorosTheGod
      @GorosTheGod 5 лет назад +34

      Ok, so at least I'm not the only one who spat out their dog burger.

    • @KingTv.
      @KingTv. 5 лет назад +8

      At least I did

    • @luigithesnicker
      @luigithesnicker 5 лет назад +8

      Was gonna like but it was at 69

    • @youtubec.i.a3197
      @youtubec.i.a3197 5 лет назад +13

      @@cuvsly r/cursed comments

  • @_sqwid
    @_sqwid 5 лет назад +859

    What’s PETA gonna do when u send pictures of an animal eating another animal. Convince the carnivores to go vegan?

    • @peasmehasselberg975
      @peasmehasselberg975 4 года назад +31

      Exactly.

    • @jamesvivian2855
      @jamesvivian2855 4 года назад +92

      Pretty sure they tried that at some stage

    • @reapermaster1233
      @reapermaster1233 4 года назад +12

      Ye probably

    • @therexsystem4818
      @therexsystem4818 4 года назад +94

      @@jamesvivian2855 they actually campaign for dogs and cats to "go vegan", it's so sad and cruel. 😭

    • @Kartoffelkamm
      @Kartoffelkamm 4 года назад +73

      @@therexsystem4818 Honestly, anyone who encourages that should be locked up for animal cruelty.

  • @thenormalpsycho4198
    @thenormalpsycho4198 5 лет назад +1885

    "Well it was a great lake day until my dog tried to drown my sister."
    .... *AND THEN IT GOT BETTER.*

    • @peasmehasselberg975
      @peasmehasselberg975 5 лет назад +20

      Sounds like all of my friends who have siblings.

    • @Nikysach
      @Nikysach 5 лет назад +1

      Loooool

    • @niqsy6116
      @niqsy6116 5 лет назад +7

      *I GOT TO KISS MY SISTER!*

    • @Sanetless
      @Sanetless 4 года назад +1

      Oh my god stepbro, what are you doing?! I'm trying to take a shower!

    • @leomaso7894
      @leomaso7894 4 года назад +1

      The Normal Psycho then came the next part... (sweet home Alabama music intensifies)

  • @trudiesavage9511
    @trudiesavage9511 4 года назад +639

    "It was a great lake day untill my dog tried to drown my sister"
    Sounds like a beginning sentence to a chapter in Percy Jackson.

    • @reapermaster1233
      @reapermaster1233 4 года назад +29

      Yeah it does
      So does
      I wanted to make a cursed comment but I don't want to be smited
      Let me try again
      "An electric rat attacks Leo"
      That's better

    • @anubi5_bbx461
      @anubi5_bbx461 4 года назад +11

      @@reapermaster1233 Pokémon, gotta catch them all!

    • @logando3305
      @logando3305 3 года назад +4

      Oh you made the joke first...
      How... *nice*

    • @trudiesavage9511
      @trudiesavage9511 3 года назад +2

      I forgot I made this comment and was surprised I was some what funny

    • @beaglesforlife3361
      @beaglesforlife3361 3 года назад +1

      yeah

  • @Marisanrisa
    @Marisanrisa 5 лет назад +4255

    “I’m not planning on drinking. I hate the taste of alcohol.”
    Wait a minute

  • @ToxicSkull0
    @ToxicSkull0 5 лет назад +2129

    “You punch a couple hundred orphans and suddenly you’re ‘mean’ “
    -Ryan Reynolds

    • @DraedonDev
      @DraedonDev 5 лет назад +6

      no u

    • @mozzy6057
      @mozzy6057 5 лет назад +60

      What are they gonna do? *tell their parents??*

    • @velorien9965
      @velorien9965 5 лет назад +24

      oh so it's 'normal' and 'their job' when teachers watch kids in school all day but when i do it...

    • @gabethefriend1670
      @gabethefriend1670 5 лет назад +4

      That’s not a challenge!
      That’s Tuesday!!

    • @MafuyusZoloft
      @MafuyusZoloft 5 лет назад +3

      @ *y o u r t o e s h a n d t h e m o v e r*

  • @CC-il3hw
    @CC-il3hw 5 лет назад +868

    Saw that cats movie trailer at the cinema today, heard some guy behind me whisper "damned furries" and chocked on my popcorn

    • @Dan-jp7oc
      @Dan-jp7oc 5 лет назад +60

      I dont think furries are responsible for that god awful trailer

    • @fish-pw8fh
      @fish-pw8fh 5 лет назад +59

      hell, im a furry and i havent seen it, and just that one picture of it terrifies me
      they look like they eat orphans

    • @mementojoy
      @mementojoy 5 лет назад +3

      Maybe he’s just a closeted furry

    • @Dan-jp7oc
      @Dan-jp7oc 5 лет назад +1

      Joy Grace who?

    • @android19willpwn
      @android19willpwn 5 лет назад +37

      @@Dan-jp7oc if furries were responsible then at least it would look better. Horrifying in a different way maybe, but better.

  • @kokichiouma1806
    @kokichiouma1806 5 лет назад +670

    ”I’m not planning on drinking, I hate the taste of alcohol.”
    *How do you know what alcohol tastes like then*

    • @jbzangyat
      @jbzangyat 5 лет назад +31

      Hey man how's afterlife like realising your suicide was a waste?

    • @sewermommy666
      @sewermommy666 5 лет назад

      Hmm

    • @nellietobey7448
      @nellietobey7448 5 лет назад +7

      @@raphaelryan392 *gets out gun* The fuck did you just say?

    • @LowIntSpecimen
      @LowIntSpecimen 4 года назад +23

      @@nellietobey7448 y'know his death really *crushed* me

    • @martinswife2008
      @martinswife2008 4 года назад +10

      Kokichi Ouma I know what alcohol tastes like and I'm not even the right age for it yet my grandmother gave me a bit of wine cause she read an article that it would help stomach problems that might've happened to her too or she might've accidently drank her mother beer or wine and didn't like the taste.

  • @bradleyunderhill6449
    @bradleyunderhill6449 5 лет назад +2598

    “Speaking of seducing cats” goes onto the new cats trailer... is there something you’re not telling us?

    • @synckar6380
      @synckar6380 5 лет назад +102

      Not even Rule 34 can make p*rn of it.

    • @AmazingAutist
      @AmazingAutist 5 лет назад +21

      *you're

    • @bradleyunderhill6449
      @bradleyunderhill6449 5 лет назад +26

      Amazing Autist thanks for telling me, YOU’RE that type of person.

    • @KevinTheProto5019
      @KevinTheProto5019 5 лет назад +4

      what cat trailer

    • @Arch-sz1bg
      @Arch-sz1bg 5 лет назад +22

      KevinTheProto5019 just look it up and u will immediately regret it

  • @scepticalhyenas5750
    @scepticalhyenas5750 5 лет назад +744

    3:45
    Wow I can't believe Dr. Who would do that. They must really be running out of ideas for the new seasons.

  • @veeloocityyy
    @veeloocityyy 5 лет назад +1217

    The 9/11 one.....
    Dear god man, you just caused trauma to the children with you and the teacher.

  • @ladystardust5192
    @ladystardust5192 5 лет назад +1090

    Yes, the bassist did play Toto's Africa in Africa.

    • @ladystardust5192
      @ladystardust5192 4 года назад +6

      @Jack I haven't seen that video, but he most likely did.

    • @brendanbarnard
      @brendanbarnard 4 года назад +7

      @ZedDoesGames what's up my fellow SLAPPer

    • @varicolour
      @varicolour 4 года назад +5

      Slap like now 👋🏻

    • @felwinterslie8223
      @felwinterslie8223 4 года назад

      He also played bench lazania (I can't spell that properly forgive me spelling gods) outside of tseries hq

    • @superspicy4215
      @superspicy4215 4 года назад +2

      I read bassist as bastard

  • @czechmate8287
    @czechmate8287 5 лет назад +878

    I read that as "Doctor Who, decapitates baby"
    That screwdriver is a wonder tool.

  • @boxlad777
    @boxlad777 5 лет назад +654

    8:57 Everyone bashing Toad but Mario is holding a freaking picnic mat and nobody says anything

    • @fatal_havoc4819
      @fatal_havoc4819 5 лет назад +53

      He is taking the blanket to eat peach mate

    • @Lilith_The_Demon_Queen
      @Lilith_The_Demon_Queen 5 лет назад +12

      Aesthetic Flames nah Mario brought toad we won’t have to see him anymore ever again

    • @SkelatoLP
      @SkelatoLP 5 лет назад +18

      Marios food is in another castle

    • @Justadeerthatgames
      @Justadeerthatgames 5 лет назад +1

      and toad wants to play tennis

    • @jaketoconnell
      @jaketoconnell 5 лет назад +12

      Also Luigi is bringing beer. I mean, how old is Toad?

  • @Jacob-ss2nn
    @Jacob-ss2nn 5 лет назад +257

    4:29
    "They had us in both halves, not gonna lie"

  • @theweirdone641
    @theweirdone641 5 лет назад +233

    Me and my friends send “Your toes hand em over” to each other all the mofo time its not even funny anymore

  • @InsanityVirus
    @InsanityVirus 5 лет назад +977

    When you immediately look for Pajamapants Jack in the comments are you are in no way disappointed

  • @mrclean3472
    @mrclean3472 5 лет назад +172

    “Remember if you do drugs you go to hell before you die”-Super Mario

    • @justasentientmclarenp1879
      @justasentientmclarenp1879 5 лет назад +3

      Kinda of ironic that Mario is telling us to not do drugs

    • @r.j.penfold
      @r.j.penfold 4 года назад +3

      That's why they're doin' Toad

    • @groda3338
      @groda3338 4 года назад +1

      He just wants them all for himself

    • @LightSoul-8
      @LightSoul-8 4 года назад

      "JESUS MARIO, YOU'RE SCARRIN' THE KIDS FOR LIFE HERE! Ya' gonna tell me that I'll go to _actual HELL_ before I die?!"

  • @Max-df2vp
    @Max-df2vp 5 лет назад +174

    When you said UwU street, when I get uncomfortable my toes curl in, and my dumbass with a broken toe curled them and screamed 🙄

  • @jamesclark6864
    @jamesclark6864 5 лет назад +194

    R/brandnewsentence “Yeah, now that they’re talking about vehicular manslaughter, I think I’ll acknowledge how close it is to midnight.”

    • @nova552
      @nova552 4 года назад

      I'm in the same situation buddy

    • @nova552
      @nova552 4 года назад

      I was kidding but while we're at it, 3:00 pm in Canada on Sunday last year

  • @monkeyman2728
    @monkeyman2728 5 лет назад +1065

    Wtf I just came here from an r/unexpectedlywholesome vid and the transition from sweet to bitter is...jarring

    • @null2010
      @null2010 5 лет назад +14

      I watch the evil horrid stuff then watch the pure stuff. Its like a mind cleanser

    • @synckar6380
      @synckar6380 5 лет назад +7

      @@null2010 It's like going from shit chocolate to milk chocolate. Except your mouth tastes like ass.

    • @nekomancie7419
      @nekomancie7419 5 лет назад +13

      @@synckar6380 both are good with enough salt

    • @TheCimbrianBull
      @TheCimbrianBull 5 лет назад +3

      @@synckar6380
      There's a flavor I must now try! 🍫💩

    • @dohnutz6454
      @dohnutz6454 5 лет назад

      Same

  • @Zudexa
    @Zudexa 5 лет назад +229

    "Because Billie isn't 18 yet"
    *_stops drinking soda in disgust_*

    • @DelicateWillow
      @DelicateWillow 5 лет назад +14

      Ikr! Age means nothing how could they juge someone for age like that! Its 2019 END AGEISM

    • @captaindonut5240
      @captaindonut5240 5 лет назад +2

      Wtf

    • @iwannafucktomfuckingriddle8338
      @iwannafucktomfuckingriddle8338 5 лет назад +8

      incest for the win-cest i can see it now

    • @captaindonut5240
      @captaindonut5240 5 лет назад +2

      @@iwannafucktomfuckingriddle8338 again wtf

    • @Beefug
      @Beefug 5 лет назад +2

      @@captaindonut5240 it's a joke, dark as it may be, it could be worse.
      Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go step into my german shower.

  • @InternetinaNutshellChannel
    @InternetinaNutshellChannel 5 лет назад +497

    "I got your nose."
    "And I got your face. Call it a face lift."

    • @ekk4674
      @ekk4674 5 лет назад +16

      Dad: " I got your nose"
      Son: "And I got your wife lmao how bout dat"

    • @TheBestGrapefruitGuy
      @TheBestGrapefruitGuy 5 лет назад +5

      I just saw you a minute ago on blaire's video

    • @rofisbacc2004
      @rofisbacc2004 5 лет назад +2

      Heyo!!

    • @thepinkviolinist
      @thepinkviolinist 5 лет назад +2

      Dad:I got your nose!
      Kid: NO
      Police: LOOK OUT HE’S GOT A NOSE!

    • @sloane3785
      @sloane3785 5 лет назад +1

      Is this r/murderedbywords or r/rareinsults ?

  • @palidengamer2540
    @palidengamer2540 5 лет назад +192

    "mama didn't raise a quitter"
    me: "........Are you sure about that?"
    Xenomorph: _reEEEEEEEEEEeEEEEEeEeEEEEeEeeeeeEEEeEEEEeEEEeEEEEEEeEeEEeEEEEE_

    • @ELbabotas1
      @ELbabotas1 5 лет назад +4

      Dude, i know my science
      In sometime around a couple years, i can make a *s a f e* xenomorph
      Starting with it's pH
      Then basic instincts
      Intelligence
      A deep need to protect its young
      Overall behaviour
      Then reproduction, so that humans can be relatively like Annie, change the target host (and/or birth metods, less bloody more gaggy, like a mouth tadpole)
      Go for that weirdly cute puppy (infant) look, everyone seems to be in love with.... I'll make weird cats, but the size of a Globetrotter
      :3, MY ALIEN WILL MAKE FURRY NOICES AND EVERYONE WILL HATE IT

    • @fanciedyou
      @fanciedyou 4 года назад +4

      Ay I'd still smash one ngl

    • @cadianguardsman1720
      @cadianguardsman1720 4 года назад +7

      Have you SEEN the amount of xenomorph posts on R34 and E621?
      People. Will. Fuck. It.

    • @dismal8294
      @dismal8294 4 года назад +1

      OwO what's this?

    • @brodylemmons9661
      @brodylemmons9661 4 года назад +2

      It's a highly developed mating system also who's OWO

  • @RealStraySounds
    @RealStraySounds 5 лет назад +249

    At 10:00 I thought “depends where the horse finished...”
    Then I realized how messed up of a human being I am....
    I regret nothing

    • @ikkuhishikawa7982
      @ikkuhishikawa7982 5 лет назад +5

      I think you'd only gain calories if you were to eat it
      Anal ejaculation shouldn't make you fatter but good luck cleaning it out

    • @tvsty5830
      @tvsty5830 5 лет назад +7

      @@ikkuhishikawa7982 idk man, hentai taught me different things

    • @Fae_van
      @Fae_van 5 лет назад +1

      @@tvsty5830
      6
      )
      6

    • @legendarytat8278
      @legendarytat8278 5 лет назад +2

      Stop.

    • @sachiel197
      @sachiel197 5 лет назад

      Stop! You have violated the law!
      Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence

  • @neruioz
    @neruioz 5 лет назад +170

    "So no head ?" - Marie-Antoinette

  • @Amacctv007
    @Amacctv007 5 лет назад +127

    8:59 sooo nobody is gonna talk about Mario wanting to eat a blanket?

  • @7drag0n
    @7drag0n 5 лет назад +133

    me: *sees thumbnail*
    my brain: *SCP-096 HAS BREACHED CONTAINMENT AND HE WANTS OUR **_TOES_*

    • @absoultethings4213
      @absoultethings4213 4 года назад +3

      Y e s

    • @JustAKomiFan
      @JustAKomiFan 4 года назад +1

      If you put a picture of 096 on 173
      Your fucked

    • @reapermaster1233
      @reapermaster1233 4 года назад +1

      Oh yeah you ducked your ducked so hard I the ass. Your ducked do hard the human population will double

    • @crustaceanking3293
      @crustaceanking3293 3 года назад +1

      @@JustAKomiFan just look at 173's lower body lol

    • @JustAKomiFan
      @JustAKomiFan 3 года назад +2

      @@crustaceanking3293 yeah but add more
      Wait
      What if you just covered 173 in a blanket
      Would that mean no one can see it making it super powerful?

  • @wyd_marco4107
    @wyd_marco4107 5 лет назад +221

    322 likes
    0 dislikes
    This, does put a smile on my face
    Edit:
    video: "gets 380 dislikes
    Me: *_I know what i must do,_*
    *_I must shred this universe down to it's last atom_*

    • @areyouinsane2190
      @areyouinsane2190 5 лет назад

      Kids be like: 322 liKEs ANd 0 DIsLiKeS RUclips Is drUnK

    • @wyd_marco4107
      @wyd_marco4107 5 лет назад

      @@areyouinsane2190 OH mY GOd, OH JeEez OH mY GOd

    • @thejourneyproduction2753
      @thejourneyproduction2753 5 лет назад

      Just A Rock and now it’s 233 dislikes um yeah

    • @LaboLad
      @LaboLad 5 лет назад +1

      Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

    • @olgairisp
      @olgairisp 5 лет назад +1

      *N O T ON MY WATCH!*

  • @TheeNero
    @TheeNero 5 лет назад +1363

    "Uwu please drive into me daddy"
    Googles: "Can humans be euthanized?"

    • @retemizyt
      @retemizyt 5 лет назад +22

      Not yet, but hopefully soon

    • @Oscar-j6b
      @Oscar-j6b 5 лет назад +34

      You practically can, but I don't think it is legal.
      Yet.

    • @TheeNero
      @TheeNero 5 лет назад +6

      @@Oscar-j6b
      Keyword "yet"

    • @raaston9761
      @raaston9761 5 лет назад +1

      yes but it is alot more difficult ti not get in jail

    • @williamscrap5715
      @williamscrap5715 5 лет назад +1

      Nope they cant

  • @gamercutie4177
    @gamercutie4177 5 лет назад +88

    "I HATE THE TASTE OF ALCOHOL."
    Me: Wait what

  • @cameron4588
    @cameron4588 5 лет назад +59

    The Japanese version of Spider-Man actually says
    “Hello i am Spider-Man the emissary from hell”

    • @aromanticfranziskavonkarma
      @aromanticfranziskavonkarma 4 года назад +11

      I copied and pasted this into Google Translate and it said "Hello, this is hell of messenger Spider-Man", yet again Google Translate isn't very reliable sometimes soo..

  • @ohherbie
    @ohherbie 5 лет назад +344

    Oz, i clicked so fast this is the best subreddit ever oml thank you so much.
    Edit: 1:18 reminds me of a song title. (Honey , This Mirror Isn't Big Enough For The Two Of Us)

  • @dankplankitus2300
    @dankplankitus2300 5 лет назад +585

    8:59
    We can’t eat a tennis racket toad you f*cking mistake
    The tennis racket brought toad...
    Wait, that’s illegal

  • @citronGXB
    @citronGXB 5 лет назад +178

    Not OP but the person in question from the tweet at 9:30 has been exposed as a child predator and not a single person from the BC LGBT community seems to have come out to denounce their behavior. Definitely a cursed comment and amplified since this is someone considered one of the more vocal faces of British Columbia's LGBT community.

    • @yokaiju8909
      @yokaiju8909 5 лет назад +26

      The lady with the balls? You can just see it on their face. They've also asked multiple times where to find young girls in changing rooms.

    • @citronGXB
      @citronGXB 5 лет назад +8

      @vroomlucas You'd be correct about the male-presenting part when going into those bathrooms. I know of two different photos where that was the situation.

    • @theGobFather17
      @theGobFather17 5 лет назад +9

      GX B yo they got arrested Life is good. Won’t stay that way cuz Canada’s law is pansy but it’s something!

    • @citronGXB
      @citronGXB 5 лет назад +11

      @@theGobFather17 Yaniv was released on Tuesday, but I'm glad that for even a moment, the RCMP is at least doing what they can about Yaniv. It might've only been about the taser and pepper spray, but I hope the RCMP continue making headway in the case against them.
      I know cases take time and resources to investigate, but I want so dearly for Yaniv's victims to receive some form of justice.

    • @theGobFather17
      @theGobFather17 5 лет назад +8

      @@citronGXB Me too. Unfortunately it always seems like the law cares very little about victims in Canada and more about protecting perps. As a canadian the fact that they cared more about pepper spray and not pedophilia and repeat at that isn't very comforting.

  • @DamiFides
    @DamiFides 4 года назад +26

    Oz: "God Dammit! I've gotten way too good at doing that since I've started this channel."
    Me: "Indeed, all I hope now its that it doesn't start to secretly give you pleasure in doing it too."

    • @MrFox1123
      @MrFox1123 Год назад +1

      "Ironically joking about a fetish is the fastest way to sincerely developing that fetish" some words of online wisdom I read from somewhere on tumblr maybe?

  • @skylarshaye2065
    @skylarshaye2065 5 лет назад +94

    "And that's the story of how it was my fault we witnessed the 2nd plane crash on 9/11" great story XD

  • @MrN0odles
    @MrN0odles 5 лет назад +68

    “This animal is named after the last thing you ate...”
    Hello *Lunchables Extra Cheesy Pizza*

  • @Konpekikaminari
    @Konpekikaminari 5 лет назад +141

    I swear to every god a human has ever believed in
    anything becomes cursed when you use uwu/owo

  • @makthemaniac1
    @makthemaniac1 4 года назад +15

    My friend : I’m gonna go take a bath
    Me hiding in the toilet : *Your toes hand em over*

  • @jennifergravitte7097
    @jennifergravitte7097 5 лет назад +43

    When it said the tennis racket brought toad--
    When I say I was WHEEZING-

  • @machicolationmc
    @machicolationmc 5 лет назад +147

    Spideman Spiderman
    Does whatever a spider can
    Everything going dark
    I don't feel so good Mr.Stark
    Oh no
    There goes Spiderman

  • @TechnoCrab42
    @TechnoCrab42 5 лет назад +49

    When it got to the "doctor who decapitates baby" part, I just imagined the doctor from doctor who decapitating a baby with a sonic buzzsaw.

    • @Danny0lsen
      @Danny0lsen 5 лет назад +2

      I know it is a joke, BUT
      The baby was stillborn and very young when the mother got into labor. The nurse pulled the babys head (like in any other birth) and it got de-attached. Like... Plastiline. Of course, the baby died and or course, the mother went NUTS because you are not supposed to do that
      Imagining it is horrible.

    • @r.j.penfold
      @r.j.penfold 4 года назад +1

      @@Danny0lsen stillborn mean it's dead though

    • @thenonkiller2999
      @thenonkiller2999 4 года назад

      I'm dying.

    • @r.j.penfold
      @r.j.penfold 4 года назад +1

      @@thenonkiller2999 hi Dying I'm dad

    • @TheZincMaster-on1fy
      @TheZincMaster-on1fy 4 года назад

      @@r.j.penfold Hi dad, I'm Granddad

  • @curseds0ldier
    @curseds0ldier 4 года назад +20

    8:37
    Satan: " How about you stop praying for me and start praying to me, Thomas"

  • @WolfyFancyLads
    @WolfyFancyLads 5 лет назад +230

    That Beauty And The Beast thing... That Beast was pretty. The male beast was big, feral looking, had fangs on show. That beast was UwU. And that racism thing with the eggs... I agree. >83

  • @mattrare4459
    @mattrare4459 5 лет назад +39

    3:28
    That is a joke from Bo Burnham' s show "Make Happy"

  • @pawli7470
    @pawli7470 5 лет назад +253

    r/murderedbymemes is that a thing or not?
    Edit: I love how he points out that Toud brought a tennis racquet and nothing about Mario bringing a blanket and nothing else(9:00)

    • @jalfrezi3602
      @jalfrezi3602 5 лет назад

      Just open up reddit and search it up

    • @dzamburger
      @dzamburger 5 лет назад

      @@jalfrezi3602 yo what bout instagram bri

    • @pawli7470
      @pawli7470 5 лет назад

      @@jalfrezi3602 I ment it as a joke but f**k aby does it exist

    • @InterestedGuy
      @InterestedGuy 5 лет назад +2

      Naah Mario is alpha he can do whatever he wants

    • @pawli7470
      @pawli7470 5 лет назад +1

      @@InterestedGuy but Luigi is way better

  • @javettenicolelumontod603
    @javettenicolelumontod603 4 года назад +4

    “I’M NOT PLANNING ON DRINKING, I HATE THE TASTE OF ALCOHOL”
    Say that again, but slowly.

  • @taisenscoolstuff732
    @taisenscoolstuff732 5 лет назад +148

    Your channels. Hand em over.

    • @RealStraySounds
      @RealStraySounds 5 лет назад +8

      (knock) (knock) Give a’me your’a liver.

    • @Turnibean
      @Turnibean 5 лет назад +1

      Jay Stroud, is that you Mario?

    • @nekomancie7419
      @nekomancie7419 5 лет назад +5

      @@Turnibean no it's mussolini

    • @_poisoned
      @_poisoned 5 лет назад

      (breaks down comment-door)
      (yeets my cringey animation channel in the reply section)
      (backflip-yeets myself out of said reply section)

    • @nekomancie7419
      @nekomancie7419 5 лет назад

      @@_poisoned you have an animation channel? i'll look it up when i'll get back at my house

  • @saharafortner4177
    @saharafortner4177 5 лет назад +23

    9:04 we can't eat a yoga mat, either! You are lucky you have a multibillion dollar franchise laying on your life!

  • @someoneyouusedtoknow142
    @someoneyouusedtoknow142 5 лет назад +44

    Lol exactly when he said cats, a notification from jackfilms with the video "let's fix the cats trailer"

  • @muffinlord4825
    @muffinlord4825 4 года назад +10

    The female beast actually looked adorable.

  • @prussiangermansoldier2987
    @prussiangermansoldier2987 5 лет назад +56

    2:24
    *SCP 096 HAS BREACHED CONTAINMENT*

    • @someone-xx6qz
      @someone-xx6qz 5 лет назад +1

      Deploying MTF

    • @trashedgamecube2730
      @trashedgamecube2730 5 лет назад +1

      Go commit pocket dimension

    • @DraedonDev
      @DraedonDev 5 лет назад

      Go secret laboratory yourself

    • @defaultdance4727
      @defaultdance4727 5 лет назад

      time to make a full report on a SCP-096-J
      where they literally only be SCP-096 except they look more human, but skinny, and will only go for your toes.

    • @prussiangermansoldier2987
      @prussiangermansoldier2987 5 лет назад

      @@defaultdance4727
      Do it no balls

  • @clairephilpott6703
    @clairephilpott6703 5 лет назад +93

    Jesus Christ I thought I was gross when I would crush 5 slices of bread into a ball (10/10 would recommend)
    Edit: take of the crusts

    • @lunaticpuffist9727
      @lunaticpuffist9727 5 лет назад +3

      It’s actually tastes good, i don’t see why it’s weird

    • @ChrisMaxfieldActs
      @ChrisMaxfieldActs 5 лет назад +3

      @@lunaticpuffist9727 I used to make those. the butter was buttered, too, which helped hold them together. I think I stopped doing that when I noticed that the outside of the ball was dirty from my grubby, boyhood hands. I also liked iceberg lettuce sandwiches on white bread, with lots of mayo. I outgrew those, too.

    • @ELbabotas1
      @ELbabotas1 5 лет назад +1

      I recomend you start again, and try(with yo hands clean) and make a lettuce and mayo filled, buttered, bread ball... Or just a breadball, pb&j are allowed as dessert, too

    • @r.j.penfold
      @r.j.penfold 4 года назад +2

      No keep the crust

    • @dungeaterfancam
      @dungeaterfancam 4 года назад

      That thing is sometimes used as fish bait, if it’s fine eating fish after it ate that then it’s fine eating that as well
      Yes I know, 5 months late

  • @lalalala25001
    @lalalala25001 5 лет назад +82

    12:37 me at 3:00 A.M drinking my water with out making any sound

    • @katytaylor81
      @katytaylor81 5 лет назад +1

      @@hugo_R898 r/CursedComments?

    • @cheese919
      @cheese919 5 лет назад +1

      Hugomacvil what the fuck

    • @judeturner7263
      @judeturner7263 5 лет назад +3

      As I read this comment i automatically imagined the minecraft drinking sound

    • @ashleyhicks7664
      @ashleyhicks7664 5 лет назад +1

      @@hugo_R898 human fecal matter

  • @therainbowwillow4453
    @therainbowwillow4453 4 года назад +7

    3:55 I thought you said “doctor who” like the character and I was worried

  • @Mestre_Bruno
    @Mestre_Bruno 5 лет назад +106

    2:24
    *Tipping [REDACTED]
    Me: Hello? SCP Foundantion? Yes its me. SCP-096 fled again and wants toes. Oh and i'm in the front Door, can you open it?

  • @MagicMaster667
    @MagicMaster667 5 лет назад +6

    7:08 - Glad I found this part of this video again. - Finding a meme you remember from long ago again is hard, and often a futile effort.

  • @indirectinsult
    @indirectinsult 5 лет назад +34

    Apparently “

  • @Bug-Intercourser
    @Bug-Intercourser 4 года назад +6

    the waxy balls thing is such trans representation, I'm in love

  • @DualityMusic
    @DualityMusic 5 лет назад +42

    That dude in 2:24. That's Dr Mundo. Only a truly bookish person like him would've known the wonders and the destructive force of these powerful and handsome toes of mine. @MagikarpUsedFly

    • @dianak8656
      @dianak8656 5 лет назад +1

      Woooooo

    • @DualityMusic
      @DualityMusic 5 лет назад

      @@jaidbear2353 Now you did. You're blessed. Tell everyone you know about what you've seen. Spread the gospel, my dear child.

    • @pixel5425
      @pixel5425 5 лет назад +2

      He must collect toes for his infinity toe gauntlet

    • @DualityMusic
      @DualityMusic 5 лет назад

      @@pixel5425 But he will indeed not get MY toes since they're even for a brainy and intelligent creature like him too powerful!

    • @liebe3054
      @liebe3054 5 лет назад +1

      your prof pic, a whole ass man

  • @cube_control
    @cube_control 5 лет назад +60

    Hey Oz! Thanks for your awesome content!

  • @klee.-.1262
    @klee.-.1262 5 лет назад +57

    3:18 we love people stealing bo burnhams jokes 👏

    • @drphilsfiance3591
      @drphilsfiance3591 5 лет назад

      Yup

    • @icebearpl188
      @icebearpl188 5 лет назад +1

      Is bo burnham the guy that made the song ,,Eff,, that had a shit ton of f bombs in it?

  • @spiderbro1303
    @spiderbro1303 5 лет назад +20

    She hates the taste of achol
    TASTE so she's done this before

  • @hatsanddragons
    @hatsanddragons 5 лет назад +25

    Well I started watching this while eating dinner, and the dorito story came up...
    Mama didn't raise a quitter...

  • @EmblemAsura
    @EmblemAsura 5 лет назад +210

    The cats in the Cats Trailer aren't cats.
    They're just furries.
    (Edit: Okay, to the actually Furries, this was a *Joke.* This was not meant to be taken seriously)

    • @tlkfanrwbyfan8716
      @tlkfanrwbyfan8716 5 лет назад +5

      Good enough

    • @synckar6380
      @synckar6380 5 лет назад +8

      The world would never have noticed them if they used actual fursuits. Nobody brings that up, nobody knows.

    • @novavirus7497
      @novavirus7497 5 лет назад +12

      Dude i know furries, theyre horrified too

    • @tlkfanrwbyfan8716
      @tlkfanrwbyfan8716 5 лет назад +1

      Yoyo Mackoy Ehh. Zootopia is similar, except I’m not horrified by it.

    • @tlkfanrwbyfan8716
      @tlkfanrwbyfan8716 5 лет назад +2

      Yoyo Mackoy Oh definitely, can’t argue there. I prefer Nick if I do say so myself

  • @atha6632
    @atha6632 5 лет назад +14

    Emkay:saying something interesting after reading a post.
    Oz:just laughing

  • @nquacker2851
    @nquacker2851 4 года назад +3

    12:07 THATS IN MY HOME TOWN! I have joked with people about this when driving by this statue!

  • @lycanthropic_
    @lycanthropic_ 5 лет назад +19

    3:23 Bo Burnham wants to know your location

  • @Flinkeymcdinkle
    @Flinkeymcdinkle 5 лет назад +223

    I like owo uwu owo
    People who speak igbo: call the cops this guy is into human traffiking

    • @biteybeast
      @biteybeast 5 лет назад +7

      I know what you're talking about, i just don't want to

    • @OBM22
      @OBM22 5 лет назад +3

      Furries speak in the language: Trash Human beings that should fucking die, its mostly english but worse... "Pwese, Wove" ect but they also have "UwU, OwO, OwU, and UvvU" now uhh please end my suffering

    • @youknowihadtodoittoem3579
      @youknowihadtodoittoem3579 5 лет назад +2

      @@OBM22 good sir, this is the entirety of the anime community, not just furries...
      Oh yeah and it's spreading outside of anime due to vids like this so uhhh, lol?

    • @OBM22
      @OBM22 5 лет назад

      @@youknowihadtodoittoem3579 cheers

    • @pocketsizedviking4555
      @pocketsizedviking4555 5 лет назад

      If you don't get it
      _type "owo uwu owo" into Google translate from igbo"_

  • @theofficialyuri2588
    @theofficialyuri2588 5 лет назад +20

    This animal is named after the last thing you ate!
    ..step sister

  • @amazinglynn
    @amazinglynn 4 года назад +3

    8:25 I’m disappointed that Satan didn’t use a Doubting Thomas joke...but then again I don’t expect Satan to read the Bible so nvm 😂

  • @dumpster_grease5658
    @dumpster_grease5658 5 лет назад +26

    3:35
    My inner teratophilia: i see this as an absolute win

  • @sanjivinsmoke9154
    @sanjivinsmoke9154 5 лет назад +6

    I actually really enjoyed your spore video. Great content man. Hope to see more of you both commentating and gaming

  • @bananajewell8846
    @bananajewell8846 5 лет назад +21

    Jokes on you, I was eating Doritos during the Dorito ball part

    • @drt5280
      @drt5280 5 лет назад

      How?

    • @bananajewell8846
      @bananajewell8846 5 лет назад

      Nicholy Hatterman IDK man, I’m just naturally kind of gross

  • @imnotashley1101
    @imnotashley1101 5 лет назад +8

    Me at the naming part: jello.
    Also me: doesn't barf while eating a french frie at the part were he says to put down any food you have.

  • @kikuchisrustywheelbearings
    @kikuchisrustywheelbearings 5 лет назад +434

    UwU ozie wozie pwease dwive into me OwO
    No actually drive OVER me

  • @SaltyTheAlien
    @SaltyTheAlien 5 лет назад +22

    Oof Nice Thumbnail choice lmao

  • @robinhaynes509
    @robinhaynes509 5 лет назад +9

    Oh my god, this man's laugh could cure cancer.

  • @CrackyCreates
    @CrackyCreates 5 лет назад +20

    '' I will pray for u"
    *THAT'S THE BIGGEST FUCKEN FAILURE GOD EVER HAD EXCEPT CREATING JAKE PAUL*

    • @christinahellberd1718
      @christinahellberd1718 5 лет назад +2

      Dudes user name was SATAN. Why did they NOT expect such questions?

    • @thenonkiller2999
      @thenonkiller2999 4 года назад

      He is SATAN, Satan will be dead if he's prayed for, evaporate, vanish, BECOME FIRE AND WATER

  • @dangelodraws4142
    @dangelodraws4142 5 лет назад +18

    “GIMMIE DEM TOES”
    -Daquan

  • @mistaisnotamused3285
    @mistaisnotamused3285 5 лет назад +9

    I like to be the life of the party, as in setting off a flashbang in an epilectic ward while dancing to Scatman's World.

  • @LadyBrutus
    @LadyBrutus 5 лет назад +10

    You: "good job for making it to the end of this video"
    Did we, did we really? We may have made it to the end but we'll never be the same. . . Have a nice day!

  • @samurexatlas7373
    @samurexatlas7373 Год назад +1

    8:33
    The old man?
    Oh you bet, 1:3 ratio, ween to body.
    Little J?
    He's just... sweet. He's a kind kid, looks for the best in people, stays humble.

  • @silent_stalker3687
    @silent_stalker3687 5 лет назад +4

    3:50
    They also stitched the baby’s head back on like how your dog tore up your teddy bear as a child, but they stitched the head on backwards and charged her a second fee for restitching the baby’s head back on

  • @danniedandan9442
    @danniedandan9442 5 лет назад +26

    11:28 ahhh yes, they taste especially good to..
    Their mother's taste different though

  • @Athrose_mr_invisible
    @Athrose_mr_invisible 5 лет назад +13

    8:55 what Mario got in the rug I’m concerned

  • @edgekaeru
    @edgekaeru 4 года назад +2

    0:44 this meme hits better when you know how horrible Peta is

  • @RhiShadows
    @RhiShadows 5 лет назад +6

    Hey, Oz, I just wanna point out that I like your voice and it’s easy for me to listen to, compared to most RUclipsrs who just scream. And I think you have a great laugh!

  • @weebtrash8287
    @weebtrash8287 5 лет назад +7

    Doctor: Ma’am, I have bad news
    Mother: Is my baby ok?
    Doctor: You see,
    Mother: What’s wrong?
    Doctor: Your baby is uhh... decapitated
    Mother: *Files a lawsuit*

  • @randomperson2038
    @randomperson2038 5 лет назад +4

    5:23
    Me: Inhales, tries not to smile but voice acting is good levels

  • @echo1241
    @echo1241 4 года назад +2

    Oz: “If you’re eating anything, for the love of god put it down”
    Me: “Eh it’s just doritos it can’t be that ba-“

  • @lemo8986
    @lemo8986 5 лет назад +18

    Dark jokes and darker comments.
    My cup of blood tea

    • @myst66
      @myst66 5 лет назад

      Blood of your enemies? Or the blood of furries?
      Eh. Mix em.

    • @lemo8986
      @lemo8986 5 лет назад

      @@myst66
      Its toddler blood

  • @gergero7427
    @gergero7427 5 лет назад +6

    For future reference the "autopsy" of non human lifeforms is called a necropsy

  • @hueranium1673
    @hueranium1673 5 лет назад +11

    i wonder what will the aliens from area 51 do when we meet them and after a week they see themselves on r/rule34

  • @minimiiistaahhh6784
    @minimiiistaahhh6784 4 года назад +5

    The thumbnail of this is what you call, an “SCP”.