"Stop planning for everything and embrace the chaos..." So, you want me to do the impossible? Great!!! I'll put the one my schedule for next Tuesday morning.
@Brett Remington well technically doing this Is possible . But we just really really really REALLY don't want to. Just thinking about going to do something without prior planning gives me major anxiety
I tell my INTJ bestie that I’ve got her back when stepping out of her comfort zone. I don’t make any jokes about the anxiety that arises as we both have a wicked sense of humor. She trusts me when I say I’ll pick up the pieces if it becomes too much for her. Of course, she never needs me to take over. She just needs to know she has a contingency plan.
ENTJ Femme ENTJs are what INTJ needs. A slightly more extroverted INTJ that just speaks up more 😂 I know one ENTJ and I would categorize him as an extroverted introvert.
@@jesssss12 so true.....we just speak up more. INTJs push me to ask for what I want. That is really hard for me and you all do it so well. I’m envious 😂
Well, if we always overanalyse we never run the risk of underanalysing. Underanalysing is more dangerous but less painful. Overanalysing is more safe but much more painful. If effectiveness is all that matters... Welcome to Ni hell.
"Its not your job to prevent everything" is the best word I've had spoken to me in a long time... I just wish I could surrender to that reality more often.
My concern is that no one else will unless I prevent them myself. I like to prevent issues before they arise or have the chance to grow into a Kraken. It's the enormous sea-monsters that gives me ulcers, how is one person supposed to undertake such herculean tasks? I do my part, but those damn people destroying society and nature are really giving me a workload and never-ending concerns.
I can relate. Lost my dad, then my job, then my mom, found another job, lost my brother, sold a house, bought a house, lost my job again, and started my own business. All in the space of just over 1 year. There came a point where I took a step back and inwardly laughed at the chaos unfolding - there was just no way any sane person could deal with all of it at once. I learned a great deal from Seneca and took it day by day, dealing with one manageable thing at a time, and ignored everything else that was beyond my control. Ultimately I believe it made me a stronger.
I know how you feel. I am an ISTP and I ran myself literally into the ground trying to save my marriage to an amazing but damaged person. Now I have lost literally everything and she has blocked my ability to access anything and heck even took my dog. That hurts! At the same time I learned so much. Now I have to rebuild but I will be OK. I get angry at times but I'm probably more at peace than ever in my life. I just don't judge. @InternetLiJo If you are still struggling if you are a type that can handle the philosophy of brutal self honesty to do it right it forces you to forgive yourself. You know my type can struggle with aggression a bit and this makes us truly scary and I am a bit uncomfortable with some parts of myself especially totally unlocked. But the feeling of peace is amazing. Fear is nearly gone. I know as an IXXP my mind is supposed to be organized and it sorta is but it's still a bit messy and I think of it like maybe a crystal structure with all sorts of random things but placed in a way to form a strained bond that is stronger and more effective than it should be. I guess what I am saying is that once you can just enjoy being you and like what your mind feels like and be you without holding back. Chaos can feel kinda nice. On a good day you will go into flow while everyone else freaks.
Lmao. My stomach turned saying it. Kind of like an addict admitting to their addiction for the first time...with the accountability of thousands of people watching 😂😬.
Inty here The pandemic completely destroyer my ability to focuss on long term goals because wé don't know what will Be allowed / possible tomorow It was really hard in march but now i feel like it helped me to let got and leave more in the présent
Lindsay: 5:42 "It's not your job to prevent everything" Me: unless, it is my job to prevent everything...*submits an application for FEMA Emergency Management & Prevention Specialist *
To be honest, as in INTJ I was afraid it will turn out to be something terribly boring and sad like "IxxJs" want only to be loved. So I'm relieved in fact. Also, I'm in the weird position of having lived in more on the chaos side for the past years, and I need to plan just a bit more (while I've learn my lesson on chaos). But to all who fear chaos right now: it's a tremendous opportunity to learn, test yourself (and gain confidence) and it can certainly bring benefits that are in fact better than your plans were. And often the real drawbacks will be much less severe than what we imagine it will be.
IxxP life advice on handling chaos: Instead of speeding up, slow down. Then: (1) Focus your senses. Check for a pulse - if you are alive you can solve anything. (2) The world is huge. The universe is even larger. Your lifespan is long. This issue is small and relatively unimportant. Small issues can be solved, and unimportant ones don’t hurt you. (3) You only have to be brave for ___ amount of time, and the reward will feel sweet compared to the struggle. (4) Self-affirm. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Identify the things that make you strong and have faith in yourself - you are the kind of person who makes it through. (5) Lose sight of your goal. Instead, focus on the thing to do next. The last step sounds counter-intuitive, but it comes from my (ISTP?) mother who used to be a nurse. When I asked her how she coped with the fear of having someone very close to her dying in the hospital, she said that when you’re a nurse, you learn to stop thinking about what could happen, and start thinking about what to do next. To sum it all up - simplify your moments of chaos: - Be present and focus - Respect the bigger picture - Know this will pass - Trust yourself to succeed - Lose sight of the goal and hone in on the thing to do next. I think one of the major differences between IxxPs and IxxJs might be that perceivers are more apt to respect that chaos is a thing we make for ourselves in our own minds. It’s never the truth.
I'm an INFJ and my ENFP friend keeps on telling me to stop overanalyzing and just try to go with the flow, but It's really hard for me. My mind went crazy when you said "surrender to the chaos."
It’s interesting how this would relate to what makes IxxJ’s feel unhappy in life. Inner peace seems like what an IxxJ would interpret as happiness (at least that’s how I see it).
I loved the part about allowing the chaos to happen for INTJs. Personally, I've had to learn that there are areas of your life you can't control, and all you can do is watch the village wipeout in front of you.
Probably why I’ve become a hermit as much as I can. Couldn’t handle not being able to foresee the chaos, so then minimize the chaos. Less chaos if you don’t leave the house
Lijo : Surrender to the chaos.... Meanwhile me : *Panicking* cuz I haven't received a printed 2021 calendar yet to hang in front of my desk while planning for the entire year on the 10th of December. 😅
INTJ here. That "Ni lie" comes to bite you each and every day. Very correct indeed. Surrendering to chaos is the biggest fear EVER. I struggle with it everyday, and possibly till the end of life. By The Way: Girl, you are bringing your A-game with hair and wardrobe now. Excellent presentation as always. Good job 👍
@@InternetLiJo Oh I know that feeling too, trust me. Letting Se take control is like letting a 2 year old child run a country; there are bound to be some nasty outcomes 😆 But this is how practice makes perfect, and we need to do just that.
@@syedmazharhasan6803 And now we have a 2 year old running the country. How are you holding up? My dear ISFJ cousin can't even watch the news. My heart goes out to her, and I'm at a loss on how to support her. (INFP here).
Well that was horrible to watch. AAARRRGGGHHH, I will never surrender! Thank you (I think), Lindsey, for helping me improve (one day, long in the future ;) ).
This was really really enlightening!! As an ESFP with an INTJ husband and an ISFJ father, alllllll of this is so true!! Sometimes I get tired of telling hubby stop "the trying to plan for everything" and just go DO stuff, or telling my dad to be more creative (novel theories stress him ALL the way out). In typical Se fashion I just look at life as a chaotic rollercoaster that I can't get off of, so I might as well enjoy the ride which I do bc who doesn't love a good rollercoaster?! Can't wait for the EXXP video!
The slap in the face we need to hear. I have the utmost confidence in my ability to handle a situation, you said surrender to the chaos and my whole body cringed.
One time there was a car accident accident and i was the first one to help. I had the situation under controll, was able to remain calm and legit bossing everyone around until the ambulance arrived. So yeah, ni-looping imagining myself in unlikeable situatoins helped me through this one, because in my head, i was like, i know exactly what to do. But most of the time my thoughts only give me anxiety, so yeah there's that :D
Embracing the chaos is exactly what I've been trying to do as an INTJ and you know what, as weird as it is in the beginning it ends up being oddly liberating. I don't have to and cannot know everything in advance, I'll deal with life as it comes, and this knowledge really does bring me some peace, even though I'm still not comfortable with the unknown. I find this mindset also fits into the Ni way of thinking oddly enough, like I just have an overall idea of my direction and my strategy, and what's actually going to be happening to execute that doesn't matter that much, I'll just figure that out as I go. It's also useful to think not in terms of planning, but strategizing. A plan is fixed, rigid and thus vulnerable to the most minute disruptions. A strategy is more about a general attitude or way of operating, while allowing for just about anything to happen. It can still get derailed of course but it's much more robust.
Thank you for the thought on plan vs strategy from this INFP who seems to live where angels fear to tread. I admit the reality, every morning on arising, that Chaos is out there gunning for me. And, that Chaos will ultimately win one of these days. So, every night when I retire, I give thanks that I was saved from it one more day. Isn't that what life in this realm consists of? But, I do look forward to the next realm.
Can't plan for everything? Embrace the chaos? Blasphemer!😄 Actually, standing in the middle of chaos and saying 'I saw that coming, missed that, that should have been obvious' is a great game.
I loved this one so much my 7th slot Fe actually woke up long enough to write a comment. And probably back to sleep right after. Really nailed it though LiJo.
Theses video "What an .. really want" are really interesting and usefull. It's funny because INTJ INFJ we are "paradoxes" and we have to surrender in the "chaos". And It's 2 words I really like, my 2 favorites words.
Dude.. just dude.. I am writing exams and 2 of the memos of the papers were leaked so now I need to rewrite 2 papers. But the thing is, I did so well in the papers before I found out that I need to rewrite them that I'm panicking because I don't think that I can beat my previous score. And I _need_ to excel in these papers because I want to get into university and there is only one university in this entire _country_ that offers the course that I want so it's literally me against the entire country.. my God am I going insane from this because I've already planned everything out- do well in exams, get into university and work my butt off in that first year to apply overseas (because I don't have the subjects to do so right now) and search for sponsors. But then my first papers were a flop and my second ones were exceptional but then I found out that I need to rewrite the ones that I did exceptionally well in rather than the other ones.. this is chaos and I barely coping.. and here you're telling me to surrender.. I don't know if I can.. _Internal screaming_
Re: the domino Ni thing-yes and also it means that you often end up reacting to future possibilities *now*. Oooooof- ‘not your job to prevent everything’ Idk.....idk...... #notchillontheinside
Oh god hearing this reminds me of my poor INTJ dad who spends too much time stressing about Se...Growing up he’s always given me Ni lectures. “Make sure you have a plan of what to do if/when ________ (insert weirdly specific situation) happens 🥸”. Lol
But when I don't prevent everything, things happen! Because no one ELSE seems to care about predicting and safeguarding against problems and undesirable events. And then we have to go back and fix it anyway. I don't like chaos. It gets in my way and causes extra activity. I'll surrender only if I can plan the surrender and plan how I'll handle it when the results cause me problems. :P
Almost cry when i ear that sentence : IxxJs want internal "Peace". It is my biggest project in life all energy is put on that one. Get my little safe controlled peace somewhere on the blue Dot. Thanks for the amazing gift Lijo. One day i will make a RUclips video to translate all that in french It is so rare in this language.
Me recently. 1. See Se tidal wave in the distance. 2. Go to my room and sleep it out. 3. Go out to see the flotsam and jetsam. 4. Loop back to no.2 until I start to not not care and see a big pile of Se chaos I needed to sort out. 5. Get burned out so I loop back to no.1.
I came to this realization my self.. decision can't always be yours.. hence, it was fate that it happened.. like everything else that exist, when the purpose is harmful, you have to decide what to do.. protection, and organization for that cause, I believe is the way to prevent us going into a loop of dystopia full of wrong decisions..
I honestly never understood how Si works or what it does but this simple sentence "[...] having to do things not previously experienced." made it clear to me. I know this video wasn't even about that but I just had an "aha" moment
Internal chaos yet this doesn't manifest to their faces/externally sounds horrible to experience. 😂 Imagining how people think you're all good and put together when you're actually scattered inside. Excited next for ExxP!
You are describing me...O.o. What I really want is to understand the chaos, not surrender to it. Because actually there is not such a thing like chaos, just not enough understanding. Deep INTJ here.
Huh, I related to this more than I thought I would. I’m starting to consider that perhaps I’m an ISFJ and not an INFJ. Guess it’s time to binge read a ton of articles on ISFJ’s haha! Thanks for the amazing video!
I'm having that same problem as well! Also, I love how open you are to the possibly. It was personally hard to admit to myself that there's a chance that I just might not be INFJ
I have an ISFJ bf who always tests as an INFJ, but when I explain Ni to her and how it feels to be it she can’t relate at all and is very familiar with Si so it can happen. You guys are awesome 😊
Surrender to the chaos? I was SMH and saying "noooo" whilst you stated this. So painful... And thinking "don't say that" just as you said you don't even like to say that 😅 But, unfortunately you are correct... That inferior or fourth function Se - my bane 😓
What if I give the chaos a little playpen? I can put toys and emotionally driven people in there to keep it entertained. Win win for everybody. 👍 Wha... no? No, I can't control chaos? I have to be brave and let it draw on everything with crayons?
To me, faith is what gives me reason to let go when I can't plan everything ahead. I've actually never understood before just how much I've grown because of it. Wow.
That surrendering to chaos, or how to cease being a control freak, is one of my biggest epiphany too, though as INFJ. In other words : trying to anticipate for everything and obsessing on turnouts is no way to fight off anxiety. That Se is definitely a savior when it comes in and says ‘« you’re prepared ; some waves you just have to surf ».
I think this might partially depend on your outlook regarding the chaos. As much as I hate the chaotic, if you view it as an opportunity or a "pool" that you could draw new conclusions from then it's much less frightening. Part of how I've been able to do this FINALLY at 40 is just understand that living in a symbiotic nature with other humans and their preferred chaotic natural state means that the chaos is inevitable. Surrendering to the chaos? Not necessarily, just expecting it to be there and using it as a resource.
WELP, as an INTJ, taking DMT/LSD. Enter chaos as an observer for several minutes, inspect chaos in it's most terrifying form, escape with an even higher order and internal peace for a lifetime. Chaos conquered.
INFJ - Thank you so much, I think your videos are brilliant and I took some notes. Going to forward them to others. Also, I really admire how you present yourself and your surroundings. WOAH !
Great video, can really relate. I was actually less stressed this year because I felt like COVID gave me a valid reason to not have things planned but now with the end of the pandemic nearing (hopefully) the anxiety is starting to come back as I think about what I should do after. Most of my stress though is due to my financial situation. I'd be willing to embrace the chaos more as long as I have enough money to pay the bills.
I buy my tampons in bulk the beginning of every year. I have 10 pairs of the same skirt still in the package. I call to remind the dentist of my appointment, but yea I can surrender to the chaos. -INTJ
Totally spot on. Try to practice surrendering to chaos on a daily basis. Little by Little it gets better. I think it is a life long process. INTJ here. I love your description of Ni and the domino effect. That is a really good visual. An intense way to live, so true!
Yes small practice in this area is key. Thank you for mentioning that. I feel as though it’s easy to get out of touch with this as a habit (because it’s hard for us to respect). But overall it makes accessing that peace so much easier.
It's interesting how Ni+chaotic Se seems more about preventing/restricting possible futures where Ni+Te seems more about causing/expanding possible futures. Slightly different visualizations of potential outcomes.
Any unforeseen change in a system can completely change the outcome of any action taken in that system. I learned that from Jurassic Park. The book I mean. Yes, I read the book.
I had kinda noticed this relationship between the first and last function, how they try to escape from certain things making ourselves experts in the doing the exact opposite thing, but in my case my first function is Ti, which is jugding, that tries to avoid feelings and that kind of stuff, I was really wondering how was an IXXJ, with a perceiver function, trying to avoid something. Thank you Lin I loved it.
I appreciate this, am infj with an isfj. My past relationships with an INTJ and istj. I know I tend to be drawn to js....I admire your hairstyle and color. Bold and beautiful.
I'm infj where feeling is 51% and I often switch between TJ and FJ and it's chaotic sometimes I remember once there was a girl who was my good friend and was planning to propose me on valentine's day being FJ I thought and planned of turning her down in most polite way but the day before valentine's day I was too tired cause of my night shift and next morning she purposed me and I literally saw all conflicts that may happen If i say yes as I knew her nature and after 10 seconds of awkward silence I said "ok" she asked "ok? Are we like in relationship now?" I replied "no we are not" she asked "why? Do u not like me?" I replied "you are cool to hangout with but I don't resonate with your love thing " she said "is this end of our friendship?" I replied"depends on you" she left and never came back
Find beauty in the chaos! Remember that chaos is necessary for control and order. If there was no chaos there would be nothing to control😉😁 chaos and control need each other in order to exist! Two sides of the same coin. Appreciate both. Cognition is a beautiful game to play🧠😊❤️
Chaos is not only disorder but also potential and growth ! I'm trying to domesticate it instead of being very anxious about it... and frankly failing miserably 😭
This was so well said!! I noticed this yesterday as I've been taking all of my final exams at home, and so I planned for all of the sensory chaos that I knew was going to happen -- family members, technology malfunctions etc. And it worked beautifully and I would do it again! 😂 Surrendering to the chaos is quite difficult. I think I've learned to accept that I cannot control everything... I still findyself trying to control most of it though, or at least putting measures in place so it isn't as bad...
Mostly INFJ and I prefer to remain in control it it makes thing better and look good. Although with a ton of people demanding my time on menial tasks is like the idea of mudding with a Mercedes Benz. Especially when I know I can do far more in quality.
@@InternetLiJo Unfortunately most people fail to understand and even when they finally do it's like garbage in, garbage out kind of information and it's a never ending cycle of bullshit
I think what helped me to surrender to the chaos is my ESFP best friend and the ENFPs in my life hahahaa. This is so Harrrrd. It took me 3 years to be okay
We're heading towards a civil war. we'll be ok x100. I think the hard part for me is what if I can't handle it. What if I can't solve a problem and let myself and people down.
Sees the video, damn that sounds exhausting... proceeds to think about a million possibilities about what I would do if I had one wish.... Suddenly it clicks, damnit I wish I could channel that power towards something useful like IxxJs do instead of just doing it for fun, like the Ne dom I am.
edit : OK Sensai, I watched this before and it hit me like lightning. But I failed to tattoo it on my brain. So it is going in a new play-loop for me to stay on top of me. It is ironic that my job is emergency response to chaos and undoing FUBAR, another form of chaos. I even have a picture of the (I think Japanese) symbol for chaos on my living room wall as inspiration. I think surrender is going to be a bit of a reach for me. And I see similar sentiment in the comments below. Thanks. 💙
Cool Video I do want that inner peace. Surrender to the chaos... I guess that’s... More difficulty than it sounds, but if it’s for the best Thanks for the advice😊
Yeah, I keep being told to flow but i feel more swept by the chaos rather than flowing with it when it happens D:! This week I had to deal with bureaucracy, and my domino pieces burnt to ashes lol. Btw, what is the green light thing on your mug? I was looking at it too often haha
“Surrender to the chaos...”
nO!
-INTJ
Lmao
"Surrender to the chaos"
Me: *internally resisting*
-INFJ
*internal screaming* external calm* lol
Precisely... I feel so confronted
Good way to put it pol
IxxPs, ASSEMBLE!!! We must help our IxxJ friends weather the chaotic storm.
Lmao love IxxPs
Come to the chaos side, we have cookies. Or we would... If we could get organized enough to make them.
Parkour!
Aaaaahhh no please, i don't want chaos nooooo i have to plan for everything!- a fellow infj
Lol, no you can't
"Stop planning for everything and embrace the chaos..."
So, you want me to do the impossible?
Great!!!
I'll put the one my schedule for next Tuesday morning.
I just snorted so hard at this my throat hurts 😂😂
@Brett Remington well technically doing this Is possible . But we just really really really REALLY don't want to. Just thinking about going to do something without prior planning gives me major anxiety
@Brett Remington everything is possible. It may just require you to not observe it. Quantum mechanics, double slit experiment. Strange but true
I tell my INTJ bestie that I’ve got her back when stepping out of her comfort zone. I don’t make any jokes about the anxiety that arises as we both have a wicked sense of humor. She trusts me when I say I’ll pick up the pieces if it becomes too much for her. Of course, she never needs me to take over. She just needs to know she has a contingency plan.
You’re a really good friend. Thanks for supporting us in that way.
ENTJ Femme ENTJs are what INTJ needs. A slightly more extroverted INTJ that just speaks up more 😂 I know one ENTJ and I would categorize him as an extroverted introvert.
@@jesssss12 so true.....we just speak up more. INTJs push me to ask for what I want. That is really hard for me and you all do it so well. I’m envious 😂
"Why do you have to over-analyse everything?"
"Because it works! I'm not over-analysing, I'm giving it the necessary amount of analysis."
Ahhh this. “If I do it the way I know I have to do it I know I can work it out”. 😂
Well, if we always overanalyse we never run the risk of underanalysing.
Underanalysing is more dangerous but less painful.
Overanalysing is more safe but much more painful.
If effectiveness is all that matters...
Welcome to Ni hell.
"Its not your job to prevent everything" is the best word I've had spoken to me in a long time...
I just wish I could surrender to that reality more often.
Work in progress for me as well. It’s a huge struggle.
Best word indeed. Balm of Gilead.
My concern is that no one else will unless I prevent them myself. I like to prevent issues before they arise or have the chance to grow into a Kraken. It's the enormous sea-monsters that gives me ulcers, how is one person supposed to undertake such herculean tasks? I do my part, but those damn people destroying society and nature are really giving me a workload and never-ending concerns.
Except the Joker from destroying Gotham.
I can relate. Lost my dad, then my job, then my mom, found another job, lost my brother, sold a house, bought a house, lost my job again, and started my own business. All in the space of just over 1 year. There came a point where I took a step back and inwardly laughed at the chaos unfolding - there was just no way any sane person could deal with all of it at once. I learned a great deal from Seneca and took it day by day, dealing with one manageable thing at a time, and ignored everything else that was beyond my control. Ultimately I believe it made me a stronger.
Beautiful way of looking at your own growth.
I'm sorry to read this :((
I know how you feel. I am an ISTP and I ran myself literally into the ground trying to save my marriage to an amazing but damaged person. Now I have lost literally everything and she has blocked my ability to access anything and heck even took my dog. That hurts! At the same time I learned so much. Now I have to rebuild but I will be OK. I get angry at times but I'm probably more at peace than ever in my life. I just don't judge.
@InternetLiJo If you are still struggling if you are a type that can handle the philosophy of brutal self honesty to do it right it forces you to forgive yourself. You know my type can struggle with aggression a bit and this makes us truly scary and I am a bit uncomfortable with some parts of myself especially totally unlocked. But the feeling of peace is amazing. Fear is nearly gone. I know as an IXXP my mind is supposed to be organized and it sorta is but it's still a bit messy and I think of it like maybe a crystal structure with all sorts of random things but placed in a way to form a strained bond that is stronger and more effective than it should be. I guess what I am saying is that once you can just enjoy being you and like what your mind feels like and be you without holding back. Chaos can feel kinda nice. On a good day you will go into flow while everyone else freaks.
I felt my stomach turning while you said we IxxJ's need to surrender to the chaos.
Lmao. My stomach turned saying it. Kind of like an addict admitting to their addiction for the first time...with the accountability of thousands of people watching 😂😬.
@@InternetLiJo Oh Mice 🐭
I'm fine with chaos so long as I'm the one causing it, or I've had time to prepare for it and I know what variables to expect.
Lmao oh that IxxJ planned chaos. I know what you’re talking about here.
Yeah, except a controlling, stuck and fearful IxxJ is blind to the chaos they are causing for everyone else.
"Surrender" is really best word. ISTJ
@Brett Remington I don't like ISTJs
Inty here
The pandemic completely destroyer my ability to focuss on long term goals because wé don't know what will Be allowed / possible tomorow
It was really hard in march but now i feel like it helped me to let got and leave more in the présent
"Surrender to the chaos"
Me: *Starts internally panicking and SCREAMING IN BIG ENOUGH*
Hahahaha 🖤
Lindsay: 5:42 "It's not your job to prevent everything"
Me: unless, it is my job to prevent everything...*submits an application for FEMA Emergency Management & Prevention Specialist *
To be honest, as in INTJ I was afraid it will turn out to be something terribly boring and sad like "IxxJs" want only to be loved. So I'm relieved in fact. Also, I'm in the weird position of having lived in more on the chaos side for the past years, and I need to plan just a bit more (while I've learn my lesson on chaos). But to all who fear chaos right now: it's a tremendous opportunity to learn, test yourself (and gain confidence) and it can certainly bring benefits that are in fact better than your plans were. And often the real drawbacks will be much less severe than what we imagine it will be.
IxxP life advice on handling chaos:
Instead of speeding up, slow down.
Then:
(1) Focus your senses. Check for a pulse - if you are alive you can solve anything.
(2) The world is huge. The universe is even larger. Your lifespan is long. This issue is small and relatively unimportant. Small issues can be solved, and unimportant ones don’t hurt you.
(3) You only have to be brave for ___ amount of time, and the reward will feel sweet compared to the struggle.
(4) Self-affirm. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Identify the things that make you strong and have faith in yourself - you are the kind of person who makes it through.
(5) Lose sight of your goal. Instead, focus on the thing to do next.
The last step sounds counter-intuitive, but it comes from my (ISTP?) mother who used to be a nurse. When I asked her how she coped with the fear of having someone very close to her dying in the hospital, she said that when you’re a nurse, you learn to stop thinking about what could happen, and start thinking about what to do next.
To sum it all up - simplify your moments of chaos:
- Be present and focus
- Respect the bigger picture
- Know this will pass
- Trust yourself to succeed
- Lose sight of the goal and hone in on the thing to do next.
I think one of the major differences between IxxPs and IxxJs might be that perceivers are more apt to respect that chaos is a thing we make for ourselves in our own minds. It’s never the truth.
I'm an INFJ and my ENFP friend keeps on telling me to stop overanalyzing and just try to go with the flow, but It's really hard for me. My mind went crazy when you said "surrender to the chaos."
Lmao those ENFP’s know how to bring the chaos when we need it 😂
Uhg this one is pure agony...
"Surrender to the chaos"
the audacity
I've been working on my inner peace, so while I can't plan for the chaos, I can plan to shine during the chaos. It's a work in progress.
Great mentality in approach
It’s interesting how this would relate to what makes IxxJ’s feel unhappy in life. Inner peace seems like what an IxxJ would interpret as happiness (at least that’s how I see it).
I loved the part about allowing the chaos to happen for INTJs. Personally, I've had to learn that there are areas of your life you can't control, and all you can do is watch the village wipeout in front of you.
Probably why I’ve become a hermit as much as I can. Couldn’t handle not being able to foresee the chaos, so then minimize the chaos. Less chaos if you don’t leave the house
Internal peace is the key to make the vision true
Yesss.
It is already there - the internal peace, can you access it? Can you maintain a peaceful state?
"Surrender to the Chaos"
But i don't have to do that if I can plan for literally every eventuality right?
RiGhT??
RIGHT??
**eye twitches**
"We're not trying, that's just what it does" That really hit the nail on the head.
Thanks, LiJo.
Lijo : Surrender to the chaos....
Meanwhile me : *Panicking* cuz I haven't received a printed 2021 calendar yet to hang in front of my desk while planning for the entire year on the 10th of December.
😅
INTJ here. That "Ni lie" comes to bite you each and every day. Very correct indeed. Surrendering to chaos is the biggest fear EVER. I struggle with it everyday, and possibly till the end of life.
By The Way: Girl, you are bringing your A-game with hair and wardrobe now. Excellent presentation as always. Good job 👍
Thank you and yes at this point in my life I see how real this all is. My ass has been kicked from the top down. It’s life work, not a quick tip. 😬
@@InternetLiJo Oh I know that feeling too, trust me. Letting Se take control is like letting a 2 year old child run a country; there are bound to be some nasty outcomes 😆 But this is how practice makes perfect, and we need to do just that.
@@syedmazharhasan6803 And now we have a 2 year old running the country. How are you holding up? My dear ISFJ cousin can't even watch the news. My heart goes out to her, and I'm at a loss on how to support her. (INFP here).
This year has hardcore taught me that you have to surrender to it. Meditation has become my best friend .
Yes 🖤
1. Watches video. 2. Moves out of low-lying coastal village.
Lmao ahhh
Well that was horrible to watch. AAARRRGGGHHH, I will never surrender!
Thank you (I think), Lindsey, for helping me improve (one day, long in the future ;) ).
Lol the surrender is the battle
We're not scared of the chaos, we want inner peace to not let our chaos out -ISTJ
Si TRUTH!
Chaos!🤸✨
-infp
Lmao weeee! 👽
We are used to it. Chaos everywere! 😅
This was really really enlightening!! As an ESFP with an INTJ husband and an ISFJ father, alllllll of this is so true!! Sometimes I get tired of telling hubby stop "the trying to plan for everything" and just go DO stuff, or telling my dad to be more creative (novel theories stress him ALL the way out). In typical Se fashion I just look at life as a chaotic rollercoaster that I can't get off of, so I might as well enjoy the ride which I do bc who doesn't love a good rollercoaster?! Can't wait for the EXXP video!
Love hearing the ESFP perspective on this!
We know it's what we need but we still don't surrender. Story of my life.
The slap in the face we need to hear.
I have the utmost confidence in my ability to handle a situation, you said surrender to the chaos and my whole body cringed.
Also, I find it so interesting how Ne always thinks of every single possibility of the future but for us it's like the best time 😂
One time there was a car accident accident and i was the first one to help. I had the situation under controll, was able to remain calm and legit bossing everyone around until the ambulance arrived. So yeah, ni-looping imagining myself in unlikeable situatoins helped me through this one, because in my head, i was like, i know exactly what to do. But most of the time my thoughts only give me anxiety, so yeah there's that :D
This has happened to me on multiple occasions as well.
"Surrender to the chaos..."
Bold of you to think that I'll give up easily I still have more plans
-INTJ
We will never not have plans lol
Embracing the chaos is exactly what I've been trying to do as an INTJ and you know what, as weird as it is in the beginning it ends up being oddly liberating. I don't have to and cannot know everything in advance, I'll deal with life as it comes, and this knowledge really does bring me some peace, even though I'm still not comfortable with the unknown. I find this mindset also fits into the Ni way of thinking oddly enough, like I just have an overall idea of my direction and my strategy, and what's actually going to be happening to execute that doesn't matter that much, I'll just figure that out as I go. It's also useful to think not in terms of planning, but strategizing. A plan is fixed, rigid and thus vulnerable to the most minute disruptions. A strategy is more about a general attitude or way of operating, while allowing for just about anything to happen. It can still get derailed of course but it's much more robust.
Great points
Thank you for the thought on plan vs strategy from this INFP who seems to live where angels fear to tread. I admit the reality, every morning on arising, that Chaos is out there gunning for me. And, that Chaos will ultimately win one of these days. So, every night when I retire, I give thanks that I was saved from it one more day. Isn't that what life in this realm consists of? But, I do look forward to the next realm.
Can't plan for everything? Embrace the chaos? Blasphemer!😄
Actually, standing in the middle of chaos and saying 'I saw that coming, missed that, that should have been obvious' is a great game.
I loved this one so much my 7th slot Fe actually woke up long enough to write a comment. And probably back to sleep right after. Really nailed it though LiJo.
Thanks Aaron. Glad it woke up for a hello 😆
Im not sure if im ixxj yet but the moment you said “surrender to the chaos” made my heart tighten for a moment
I fully agree with everything you said, but I just want to say that I really love your hair :)
Theses video "What an .. really want" are really interesting and usefull.
It's funny because INTJ INFJ we are "paradoxes" and we have to surrender in the "chaos". And It's 2 words I really like, my 2 favorites words.
Dude.. just dude.. I am writing exams and 2 of the memos of the papers were leaked so now I need to rewrite 2 papers. But the thing is, I did so well in the papers before I found out that I need to rewrite them that I'm panicking because I don't think that I can beat my previous score. And I _need_ to excel in these papers because I want to get into university and there is only one university in this entire _country_ that offers the course that I want so it's literally me against the entire country.. my God am I going insane from this because I've already planned everything out- do well in exams, get into university and work my butt off in that first year to apply overseas (because I don't have the subjects to do so right now) and search for sponsors. But then my first papers were a flop and my second ones were exceptional but then I found out that I need to rewrite the ones that I did exceptionally well in rather than the other ones.. this is chaos and I barely coping.. and here you're telling me to surrender.. I don't know if I can.. _Internal screaming_
Re: the domino Ni thing-yes and also it means that you often end up reacting to future possibilities *now*.
Oooooof- ‘not your job to prevent everything’
Idk.....idk......
#notchillontheinside
Oh god hearing this reminds me of my poor INTJ dad who spends too much time stressing about Se...Growing up he’s always given me Ni lectures. “Make sure you have a plan of what to do if/when ________ (insert weirdly specific situation) happens 🥸”. Lol
But when I don't prevent everything, things happen! Because no one ELSE seems to care about predicting and safeguarding against problems and undesirable events. And then we have to go back and fix it anyway.
I don't like chaos. It gets in my way and causes extra activity. I'll surrender only if I can plan the surrender and plan how I'll handle it when the results cause me problems. :P
Lmao I surrender with a plan too 😂
Almost cry when i ear that sentence : IxxJs want internal "Peace".
It is my biggest project in life all energy is put on that one.
Get my little safe controlled peace somewhere on the blue Dot.
Thanks for the amazing gift Lijo.
One day i will make a RUclips video to translate all that in french
It is so rare in this language.
Ahh! Wish I could have it translated. Yes more people in more languages need the help/tool. Take on some of the burden with me ;)
Me recently.
1. See Se tidal wave in the distance.
2. Go to my room and sleep it out.
3. Go out to see the flotsam and jetsam.
4. Loop back to no.2 until I start to not not care and see a big pile of Se chaos I needed to sort out.
5. Get burned out so I loop back to no.1.
“Can’t predict the twist and turns ahead, so u gotta wing it.”
BUT WE CAN USUALLY ughh but we shouldn’t always.
@@InternetLiJo ofc u likely can, but not a high Se user like me... rip.
I came to this realization my self.. decision can't always be yours.. hence, it was fate that it happened.. like everything else that exist, when the purpose is harmful, you have to decide what to do.. protection, and organization for that cause, I believe is the way to prevent us going into a loop of dystopia full of wrong decisions..
I honestly never understood how Si works or what it does but this simple sentence "[...] having to do things not previously experienced." made it clear to me. I know this video wasn't even about that but I just had an "aha" moment
Damn I appreciate when someone finds the ah-hah within something else. Glad Si made some extra sense!
Internal chaos yet this doesn't manifest to their faces/externally sounds horrible to experience. 😂 Imagining how people think you're all good and put together when you're actually scattered inside. Excited next for ExxP!
Haha yeah. Internal turbulence but cool as a cucumber on the outside.
You are describing me...O.o.
What I really want is to understand the chaos, not surrender to it. Because actually there is not such a thing like chaos, just not enough understanding. Deep INTJ here.
Huh, I related to this more than I thought I would. I’m starting to consider that perhaps I’m an ISFJ and not an INFJ. Guess it’s time to binge read a ton of articles on ISFJ’s haha! Thanks for the amazing video!
Both savior control! Some major similarities in that regard for sure.
I'm having that same problem as well! Also, I love how open you are to the possibly. It was personally hard to admit to myself that there's a chance that I just might not be INFJ
I have an ISFJ bf who always tests as an INFJ, but when I explain Ni to her and how it feels to be it she can’t relate at all and is very familiar with Si so it can happen. You guys are awesome 😊
That last comment just gave you away INFJ. Haha! I'm 😆 lol
Surrender to the chaos? I was SMH and saying "noooo" whilst you stated this. So painful... And thinking "don't say that" just as you said you don't even like to say that 😅 But, unfortunately you are correct... That inferior or fourth function Se - my bane 😓
I know, it was painful to say 😬
What if I give the chaos a little playpen? I can put toys and emotionally driven people in there to keep it entertained. Win win for everybody. 👍
Wha... no? No, I can't control chaos? I have to be brave and let it draw on everything with crayons?
Hahah ahhh that’s all we want to do! Control the chaos! 😩
To me, faith is what gives me reason to let go when I can't plan everything ahead. I've actually never understood before just how much I've grown because of it. Wow.
you know this is accurate when this is coming from an IxxJ.
Nooooooo... it hurts to accept the world as messy.
That surrendering to chaos, or how to cease being a control freak, is one of my biggest epiphany too, though as INFJ. In other words : trying to anticipate for everything and obsessing on turnouts is no way to fight off anxiety. That Se is definitely a savior when it comes in and says ‘« you’re prepared ; some waves you just have to surf ».
I think this might partially depend on your outlook regarding the chaos. As much as I hate the chaotic, if you view it as an opportunity or a "pool" that you could draw new conclusions from then it's much less frightening. Part of how I've been able to do this FINALLY at 40 is just understand that living in a symbiotic nature with other humans and their preferred chaotic natural state means that the chaos is inevitable. Surrendering to the chaos? Not necessarily, just expecting it to be there and using it as a resource.
Chaos can be its own twisted little puzzle to organize. And then you begin learning to roll with it by doing. So...enjoy! :)
It’s a VERY twisted puzzle to organize. Time consuming little puzzle. Lol
“You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
WELP, as an INTJ, taking DMT/LSD. Enter chaos as an observer for several minutes, inspect chaos in it's most terrifying form, escape with an even higher order and internal peace for a lifetime. Chaos conquered.
INFJ - Thank you so much, I think your videos are brilliant and I took some notes. Going to forward them to others. Also, I really admire how you present yourself and your surroundings. WOAH !
Thanks so much!
Great video, can really relate. I was actually less stressed this year because I felt like COVID gave me a valid reason to not have things planned but now with the end of the pandemic nearing (hopefully) the anxiety is starting to come back as I think about what I should do after. Most of my stress though is due to my financial situation. I'd be willing to embrace the chaos more as long as I have enough money to pay the bills.
I buy my tampons in bulk the beginning of every year. I have 10 pairs of the same skirt still in the package. I call to remind the dentist of my appointment, but yea I can surrender to the chaos. -INTJ
Yes. Surrender. Gives better results than expected.
Totally spot on. Try to practice surrendering to chaos on a daily basis. Little by Little it gets better. I think it is a life long process. INTJ here. I love your description of Ni and the domino effect. That is a really good visual. An intense way to live, so true!
Yes small practice in this area is key. Thank you for mentioning that. I feel as though it’s easy to get out of touch with this as a habit (because it’s hard for us to respect). But overall it makes accessing that peace so much easier.
It's interesting how Ni+chaotic Se seems more about preventing/restricting possible futures where Ni+Te seems more about causing/expanding possible futures. Slightly different visualizations of potential outcomes.
Sometimes we just need to plan to not be planned!
And also be comfortable with planning on the go
I plan unplanned time. People think it’s a joke. But it’s literally my frame for bringing in that chaos... in a controlled way 😂
well I have tried that. its disastrous.
never ring that bell 🔔
👽
Any unforeseen change in a system can completely change the outcome of any action taken in that system. I learned that from Jurassic Park. The book I mean. Yes, I read the book.
Looking forward to learn what I won't tell 🤷🏻♀️ hahah
Edit : #notchillontheinside summarizes my whole life.
Lol we just don't want to talk about it ok 😂
Running for IxxJ hashtag of the year 😂
@@InternetLiJo Merch idea ? 😄
I had kinda noticed this relationship between the first and last function, how they try to escape from certain things making ourselves experts in the doing the exact opposite thing, but in my case my first function is Ti, which is jugding, that tries to avoid feelings and that kind of stuff, I was really wondering how was an IXXJ, with a perceiver function, trying to avoid something. Thank you Lin I loved it.
Hey thanks! Glad to have some Ti around here :)
Surrender to the chaos is a good advice cause you can't plan for everything. -ISFJ
Indeed 🙂
The only thing one can control is ones reaction / perspective to things that happen outside of oneself.
I appreciate this, am infj with an isfj. My past relationships with an INTJ and istj. I know I tend to be drawn to js....I admire your hairstyle and color. Bold and beautiful.
This is so interesting because i'm an ENTJ who thought they were INTJ. But i never had problems with the sensory. My identity on the other hand...
I'm infj where feeling is 51% and I often switch between TJ and FJ and it's chaotic sometimes I remember once there was a girl who was my good friend and was planning to propose me on valentine's day being FJ I thought and planned of turning her down in most polite way but the day before valentine's day I was too tired cause of my night shift and next morning she purposed me and I literally saw all conflicts that may happen If i say yes as I knew her nature and after 10 seconds of awkward silence I said "ok" she asked "ok? Are we like in relationship now?" I replied "no we are not" she asked "why? Do u not like me?" I replied "you are cool to hangout with but I don't resonate with your love thing " she said "is this end of our friendship?" I replied"depends on you" she left and never came back
Find beauty in the chaos! Remember that chaos is necessary for control and order. If there was no chaos there would be nothing to control😉😁 chaos and control need each other in order to exist! Two sides of the same coin. Appreciate both. Cognition is a beautiful game to play🧠😊❤️
Ahhh I just want to take your Ne mindset and wear it like a hat!
Chaos is not only disorder but also potential and growth ! I'm trying to domesticate it instead of being very anxious about it... and frankly failing miserably 😭
(just realized the word "domesticate" is the whole point of what I'm doing wrong..hahah)
Ow! right in the 'feels' ( ...silent contemplation, accompanied by angst over giving up angst) INTJ
You are my favorite witch yet. :)
🖤
I STILL do not know if I have NE or Ni, it is driving me nuts.
Well put LiJo you've nailed it. I definitely can relate to these ideas
🖤👽
This was so well said!! I noticed this yesterday as I've been taking all of my final exams at home, and so I planned for all of the sensory chaos that I knew was going to happen -- family members, technology malfunctions etc. And it worked beautifully and I would do it again! 😂
Surrendering to the chaos is quite difficult. I think I've learned to accept that I cannot control everything... I still findyself trying to control most of it though, or at least putting measures in place so it isn't as bad...
Mostly INFJ and I prefer to remain in control it it makes thing better and look good.
Although with a ton of people demanding my time on menial tasks is like the idea of mudding with a Mercedes Benz. Especially when I know I can do far more in quality.
Yes of course that is the default state :)
@@InternetLiJo Unfortunately most people fail to understand and even when they finally do it's like garbage in, garbage out kind of information and it's a never ending cycle of bullshit
I think what helped me to surrender to the chaos is my ESFP best friend and the ENFPs in my life hahahaa. This is so Harrrrd. It took me 3 years to be okay
i literally just found your channel like, 7 hours ago and i’m so glad i did. too relatable :^)
Awesome welcome 🖤👽
We're heading towards a civil war. we'll be ok x100. I think the hard part for me is what if I can't handle it. What if I can't solve a problem and let myself and people down.
Sees the video, damn that sounds exhausting... proceeds to think about a million possibilities about what I would do if I had one wish.... Suddenly it clicks, damnit I wish I could channel that power towards something useful like IxxJs do instead of just doing it for fun, like the Ne dom I am.
Awesome video Lindsay! Now all that's left is to tell me what I want......what I really, really want
Lmao you’re next friend!
What, me?
I don't have any problem with submitting to the chaos.
I just do it from the outside looking in 😁
After seeing the title of this video i now have that darn Spice Girls song going off in my head, can you imagine what that is like for an INTJ ? lol
Lmao 😉
edit : OK Sensai, I watched this before and it hit me like lightning. But I failed to tattoo it on my brain. So it is going in a new play-loop for me to stay on top of me. It is ironic that my job is emergency response to chaos and undoing FUBAR, another form of chaos. I even have a picture of the (I think Japanese) symbol for chaos on my living room wall as inspiration. I think surrender is going to be a bit of a reach for me. And I see similar sentiment in the comments below. Thanks. 💙
The phrase (Surrender to chaos) scares me
Indeed lol
Cool Video
I do want that inner peace.
Surrender to the chaos...
I guess that’s...
More difficulty than it sounds, but if it’s for the best
Thanks for the advice😊
It’s a process lol
Yeah, I keep being told to flow but i feel more swept by the chaos rather than flowing with it when it happens D:! This week I had to deal with bureaucracy, and my domino pieces burnt to ashes lol. Btw, what is the green light thing on your mug? I was looking at it too often haha
Lmao sorry it’s actually a candle that was almost burnt out 😂
This is an awesome series, been enjoying all the videos lately.
Thank you ☺️