INTJs & Emotional Conflict
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- Опубликовано: 28 окт 2020
- The strange paradox as it relates to conflict and the INTJ personality type.
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Typing disclaimer: Hi my name is Lindsay, I'm an INTJ typed in a double blind study using the scientific method on a 512 scale. Official type is: FM Ni/Te BPSC objectivepersonality.com I have also tested as an INTJ in other jungian based systems.
#INTJ #Personality
Any other INTJs prefer to process your emotions privately first, so you can figure out why you feel like that, before you are comfortable talking to someone else about it?
"Do your research on vulnerability" is the most INTJ thing you could have said 😁
Is it strange that I felt you were an INTJ by the look in your eyes? It's the same nonchalant dry look that I see in the mirror everyday and in other people that I know to be an INTJ.
And just to add a little something to this masterpiece: other types think INTJs (and other types that don't have Fe in their stack)
(INTJ with counseling Psych. Background). Most of the ‘fear’ of emotional confrontations is due to lack of study or information about what it is and how it works. Intensely listen to what the person is saying and what it means, ex. Anger is frequently the outward expression of hurt. Understand that you can not solve (as we love to do) their problems, rather you provide the information and methods for finding solutions and let them create the solution unique to them. Learn about people the way you learn about things.
everything's ok until it's Not...when that internal value has been crossed. then we act abruptly & become 'different'
I'm an INFJ, and my boyfriend is an INTJ. I found this SO helpful - thank you! With my secondary function being Fe but his tertiary being Fi, the emotional stuff is often difficult (I remember one time I asked him how something made him feel, and his answer made me think "well, that's not really a feeling..." haha). I'd be curious if it would be possible for you to do a video that takes the same approach to explaining INTJ's secondary Te versus INFJ's tertiary Ti. I often have a hard time explaining to him my thought processes and reasons for conclusions, and sometimes we have these long conversations about a 'thing' only for us to eventually realize we're saying the same thing but were taking very different ways to get there!
I always thought something was wrong with me until I learned about personally types
Many times we have an amazing view of future but in the reality (Se) we find so many things we didn't anticipate and that causes strong emotions that we don't want.
I'm an INTJ and I either handle situations of conflict with absolute control or I wimp out and become paralyzed and let the other party wipe the floor with me. Interesting to see how disabilities like anxiety and ADHD diverge me from typical INTJ behaviors.
Things that has offended my Fi as an INTJ over the years:
INTJs are scared not of “things” at all. It’s about emotionally reactive people, yes - but mainly because you won't change how they feel or react, and the solution will fail anyway.
From an INFJ, your self awareness and development appear to put you in a unique class of INTJs. I have also seen how you emulate the cognitive types and it is truly astonishing how you have captured the essences. Wow!
I totally get all you've said. Being an INTJ in a customer service position, I've often given customers blank looks when they get really emotional. I'm considered rather rude by the overly emotional customers, but they don't get the emotional response they want from me. I try to reason with them.... Honestly looking forward to my promotion where I will have less customer interaction. People have been extra cranky lately, and I'm just not having it.
Motherhood has been the biggest influence on me in this area. The depth of emotion inherent with teenage girls FORCES you to grow, lol.
This video is so true. As INTP who had INTJ friend, talking about any sort of emotions was literally impossible. Our conversations would be like:
My friends always wondered why I'm so confident with my looks. How do I deal with my insecurities? Well, my friend, you don't deal with it. You avoid it.
This is my observation: People that avoid emotional conflicts are limited by their emotions. The fear of letting the irrational side (their emotions) reach mental awareness, and guide their actions, will limit their behaviour and possible thoughts and actions. The emotional side must be accepted if someone want to grow as an individual (and vice verca for dominant "feelers", they must accept the rational side of themself).
This was amazing! Please talk more about this subject!
This was a great video, I like the acknowledgement that we hate emotionally dramatic conflict and that it makes us uncomfortable. Too many "INTJs" (??) try to promote a cold stereotype that INTJs simply take no notice of such things and are just never affected. But I agree with you, I definitely take measures to smooth through or avoid emotional confrontation because I feel like a deer in the headlights when I deal with an emotional storm. It feels like the person is foisting their emotions upon me like they want me to somehow take responsibility for the way they feel, right here right now, and I can't understand how that process would even work.