So right Hailey! We shouldn’t rush and take life slow! I’m 35 and just met my fiance a year ago. He graduate from an Ivy League school and works for Wall Street, no children and financially stable. We as women can’t settle because of age. So happy I never took anyone serious in my 20s. Our taste and judgement gets better with age. I’ve taken solo trips abroad, went to therapy, bought my first home alone, learn my passions, found hobbies I love, I’ve failed and succeed w/ so many things and also had real life experiences while I was single. Every woman needs these experiences that will make you love your skin when you finally meet your man! 😘❤️
Well articulated. This gives me hope that there are men in their late 20s and over without kids , have a career and are financially stable. Congratulations on your engagement. You made the right choice to wait . Definitely learnt from your story. ❤
I’m 38 and I’m watching my freinds get divorced from abusive narcissists, having to co-parent with idiots, my sister’s husband came out as trans and is now transitioning to a woman/ the marriage is dissolving. Honestly ladies, stay in your discernment and decenter men. It’s wild out there.
“You literally don’t have to do a lot to attract a man… you can literally just purely exist and men will like you” gave me the biggest chuckle because THAT PART😭😭😭 it really doesn’t matter.
Ppl being unhappy in relationships definitely isn’t talked about enough. I’m at the age where I want a certain type of relationship or nothing at all. The low vibrational, one sided situations I’m seeing these days is nasty work!
Oh honey, the skin is SKINNING and the body is BODYYIINNGG. Love how you gave your input on this topic. Once people realize that pouring into yourself is so valuable, the lack mindset towards singleness will be of the past.
I’m 39 and I’m just REALLY getting to the place of loving my single life. I’m on a mini Sebatical right now traveling. I just left Thailand and now am in Bali. Toyoko up next.. I’ve cried at least twice tears of joy being able to live this life and didnt get the husband kids I thought I wanted years ago . I wouldn’t be here right now. I still desire a partner but I’m letting go of trying to control the when. I spent atleast a decade trying to MAKE it happen. Now I’ve decided to just live ❤
Loved this video!! I’m 20, studying neuroscience, biochemistry, and philosophy at one of the top colleges in the country (US). I work part-time as an undergraduate researcher and spend my free time exploring a vast array of hobbies. My favorite thing to do is hangout with younger children. I’ve never dated and I’m not in a relationship. I feel like there’s so much to do in life. Please ladies, spend your time bringing value to the world and the right person will come help you do that!!
This is so awesome!! Your work ethic is crazy lol. I would love to know your time management skills! I work full time and go to school part time for now and I feel like I'm struggling 😅
I was in 2 long terms relationships in my 20’s that turned into engagements, but later never happened because I knew I would not be truly happy with these men in the long run. I chose myself vs choosing comfort and convenience. It was hard to break them off but I’m so happy I did. I’m 31, at the height of my career accomplishing things I never thought I would. I have free time for myself and focusing on my happiness. It is amazing. I’m not going to be impatient and jump into anything unless I know it clicks and feels right.
I’m so glad that you mentioned how as black women we don’t take breaks or rest. It’s a deep rooted issue. At 40 I finally realize & know when breaks are needed!!! Beautiful content.❤❤❤
Falling in love with your own life is the blueprint..for more reasons than falling in love with a person. At 26 myself I see how precious preparation is & it’s true that when you tend to your own garden the butterflies show because you shine! The experiences you have with yourself are so special, start loving the little things with a big heart & your aura will let everyone know you are loved because you are love. Thank you Hailey, I adored this one 🌞
Thank you for this video, Hailey. I come from the hispanic community where men are the center of your life. You're expected to marry - but not too late or the less fertile you'll be. Expected to cook and clean and take care of the kids while your husband is away working. That is the only life our older generations know. It can be stressful when they're in your ear telling you you're running out of time (im 24). Knowing that what i am doing now is breaking those generational curses gives me peace. You just reminded me that healing all those years of generational trauma and hurt is okay. Its okay to be selfish now and pour into myself so that when my husband does come - im complete and am able to be there emotionally for him and my future kids. This video came at the perfect time.
I remember being single in my 20s with my daughter. Feeling so lonely. Out at the clubs away looking around the crowds for a man in hopes of a relationship. Now becoming single again at 39 I am like well God’s going to have to send him to my doorstep bc I am so busy in life focused on my kids, work and my own business. Even keeping up my household that I don’t have a second to be lonely.
Hailey you are serving us not just with looks with wisdom. Seriously. I’m only 23 but you are really helping all the girlies younger and older, truly beautiful!❤️
I got married very young (18) and we separated 2 years later. It was soo messy, and I was so hurt. I stayed single after that for 7 years, then I had a situationship for a couple of months, and at first I liked that but quickly realized I couldn't imagine my life ever again with someone else. I have friends, I travel, and I genuinely enjoy being alone. My life is in no way boring. Of course it's not for everyone. Just know that you cannot depend on others to make you happy. I don't know what life has for me, but I love how it is.❤
I heard you sis ! I’m trying to decenter men from my life. It’s like every conversation is about dating and marriage. I am tiredddd of it. Yes I desire marriage but like you said, it’s not the end all be all. 😅
This was so eloquently put and such an important topic for ladies to be thinking about!! Decentering men has been one of the biggest improvements of my life & decentering strangers’ opinions in general has been freeing. Recently I’ve been experimenting with my fashion & makeup more, free from the thought of what attracts/turns off men & it’s been so fun and fulfilling. Last summer, I use to spend too much time going on first dates with guys I really didnt even like too much - this summer, my dad and I are starting a vegetable garden and I’m doing a lot more mountain hiking which are two much more fulfilling uses of my time.
I’ve been married for almost a decade.. but the most pivotal growth I’ve had was when separated… I learned during that time that It’s my responsibility to consider myself as an individual no matter who I connect with in life. No one is stopping you from doing the work to like your life.. and if they are, you have to set appropriate boundaries. Period
i’m almost 25 and feeling pressure to get out there and date, but honestly I don’t feel like it. the last guy I talked to was a bum and was a reminder of why I enjoy my own company
I’m only 17 and dealing with my first heartbreak and this was a rlly inspiring video.Seeing so many older women in the comments genuinely happy single gives me a lot of hope.I’m glad to learn this from a young age so I don’t make any of these mistakes again when I’m older.
I had this short period of time being truly single at the age of 28-30. And I can say I was the most happiest and in my most feminine energy. The need to be in a relationship disappeared. I was focused just on me. I tend to be a people pleaser. But being single I was only worried about what I wanted and what made me happy. I was content with being single.
"I dont want to be saved, I want to be enhanced." 20:25 Wheeew that spoke to me!! As a newly single woman, I've been on this journey of decentering men and finding myself. This video came at the right time. As always, thank you Hailey ♥️ love the dress!
I don’t know why this video made me emotional but it feels like a big sister is telling me that everything is going to be alright. There is a feeling of comfort and security when I’m watching your videos. You are truly an angel 🫶🏽 this video hit differently because everything you have said about self love and it opened my eyes to see what I beautiful relationship I can have with myself and to give myself everything I wasn’t given.
I am 37, I don't have a partner currently, I don't have kids and I sure as hell don't feel lonely. Do I want to find someone? Sure, why not. But I don't expect for that to be everything in my life, it simply needs to be a good complement for what I already have. :)
I fall in love hard too. I love my husband and been with him since I was 20 years old. I’m 33 and have four daughters now. But I realized that marriage isn’t everything. It’s okay to be alone, it’s okay to go on solo dates with myself, it’s okay to have time alone away from the kids. I know that in the past, I could’ve done so much more if my focus wasn’t solely on my marriage. My husband and I both know we got married and had kids young but now we’re teaching our daughters that boys are not important lol getting your education, having a decent career, and getting your bag right is more important. ❤
I’m in a great relationship, but was single for 6 years and this is SPOT ON. If I can give any advice it’s to learn to be alone sooner rather than later! Be single if you can and take a period of time to not date anyone. And if you can’t do that, take your focus off romance and love for a bit. You can still be a great partner without making your relationship your whole focus, and I’d argue it’s better not to. When I think about how I was in my last relationship, I see how much more anxious and obsessed with validation I was. A relationship will not solve this for you, in fact, it will amplify your lack of self love and insecurities in many ways. Because even if this person helps you feel better, you develop a dependence on their assurance. Hailey, you will find someone great when the time is right, and until then, life is your oyster! 1/2 of my close friends are single and 29-32, one of them being my cousin who graduated from med school last year and is now a doctor across the country living her dream for the next couple years! ❤
Glowing up for YOU is definitely solid advice! At my big age of 33, I’ve gone through so many ups and downs with my weight. I switch up my style of dress, makeup and hair relatively frequently and I’ve honestly never had a problem attracting quality men at any stage. One thing I know for absolute certain, I garner the most attention when I’m my most CONFIDENT. Across the board, that’s what quality men are attracted to the most.
Ma’am…I have not even gotten to the meat of the video and I have to stop and give roses. YOU LOOK AMAZING HUNNY!!! Keep doing what you are doing. Your presence alone is inspiring 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO. I met a guy who made me feel that way of becoming a better woman. things didnt work out between us but i have a new focus on becoming more educated and keep investing in myself!! Im 25 and i feel life is only starting from now on
He who finds a good wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22). The right man will find you. There are so many people in this world that are beautiful on the outside but not many that are beautiful on the inside with great character. I loved what you had to say in this video Hailey. ❤️
Exactly. I have found it very enlightening thinking about how Eve was made out of Adam's rib. The man should find HIS "rib" so to speak. Not the rib trying to fit into the man. And how the woman was "made for man." So even in Biblical terms, the woman is still the prize.
Amen…im 34 and even though im dating I’m really trying my best not to center that person. It’s really hard because most women are not wired to NOT to think about men. But I will never put my selfcare away because of a man. I still center myself as the main character in my life. Having a man is not a trophy 🏆…having mental clearness and peace is priceless ❤. You look great girl. Are you a Taurus ♉️?
I am a cancer ♋️ ❤ so you can imagine this was EXTREMELY HARD FOR ME. Because I’m a hopeless romantic.. but yes you’re so right so many women center life around men
I’ve been in a long term relationship for 6 years in most of my 20s, this is the first time I can truly focus on myself and I’ve never been more excited for this new season. It’s odd how secure I was being single before my relationship ended, and how insecure and attached I felt over time. Learning discernment and falling in love with myself first. ❤️
Yess Sexual Discipline is what I need to work on ⭐️no more giving a man my life energy !!! Until the right one that God sends!! This season I’m focusing on myself 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
I'm 27 and married. My husband and I have been together for years now. Although my husband is my everything, I have my own friends, hobbies, I take care of myself and my husband has always said he was first attracted to how free spirited I am. Hailey you are so right, you need to flourish independently and be yourself instead of chasing men. You look amazing btw! 🩷
Hailey, Thank you!!! I’m 23 and never dated before not even as close as to hold hands with a man. I still haven’t had a first kiss and while sometimes I try and compare myself to others and get all depressed, there are other times when I’m happy with the way my life is. I recently went through a depressive episode for that sole reason because everyone around me seems to be doing okay relationship or life wise while I felt stagnant. Thank you for reminding me that I am more to life than being somebody for someone. I will now use all that energy to improve myself for me and get the life I deserve with or without a man in it, I will be fine!!
I wish I waited. I had a neglectful abusive upbringing and so I was easy prey and got sucked into situationships and relationships with abusive men. If I'd have had the knowledge that it's ok to be in my 20s and not dated anyone, life would have been better for me and I would have saved myself years of heartache and mental trauma. Be proud of your strength girl, you're doing the right thing for you.
I relate, you are not alone :). We are not the outcasts, we are normal, we exist and there is nothing wrong with us. Don't let society tell you otherwise.
Been with my man for 14+ yrs and some of these things still apply ;) He just called on his way home from work and then a wave of emotion hits me. Sort of beating myself up but also trying to be calm. Trying to not feel so blah. 😢 More self care, accountability, healing and forgiveness. Im just glad he supports what fills me up.
This is the first video on yt that literally bought me to tears and the moment it happened was when you said to relax at the very end. I took a deep breath and the tears just started rolling down my face. Im a single mom and it feels like im constantly reminded of what I dont have in this journey. Im healing from alot of trauma and it gets easy for me to think that “missing piece” is what will fix everything. This reminded me im doing so much on my own and im awesome for that. My career is thriving. I do something everyday that people say “I dont know how you do it” to. And im really working on myself for the first time after a deep dark depression. Im reminding myself that no matter what, I am worthy of a good and proper love. But I also deserve it from myself. I genuinely want to thank you for this video ❤️ it was right on time.
9:24 - THIS...sentiment resoundingly echoed. I don't want to have to suppress the best parts of myself anymore, and feel as if I have had to for some time now. This celibacy era I'm in is EVERYTHING, trust.❤
I just turned 20 & currently prioritizing me n what makes the little me proud. Dating n creating relations with people who don’t serve me has been a roller coaster ride since I started middle school leading me to a more toxic lifestyle that no longer controls me. I have always had a supportive family until times changed and the truth about my family history and traumas were uncovered.
Great video, my issue is I’m not having fun being alone. I’ve been single 5 years now and I’m at the point where this isn’t fun anymore. Maybe I can pick up so new hobbies to help fill the time. So glad you’re enjoying your journey!
You don’t necessarily have to be ALONE. You can casually date and make it fun!!!! But don’t center your life around men to the point where you feel like your life is meaningless without the presence of one.
Hailey! Can you make a video about prioritizing long term gratification over impulse / short term gratification regarding things like going to the gym, eating healthy etc.❤
It's never been about centering men for me. I want a family. A husband and children to nurture . The clock is ticking and I'm not seeing anything. Being alone is not the issue but knowing that i may never get my hearts desire of a family of my own really devastates my heart and soul. Being single is good and well and having your own life is great, but that's not what i want indefinitely. I don't want to live like that for the rest of my life.
I feel you and agree. It’s not about making men the “centre” but knowing that to live my most authentic self, i desire to be a wife and mother. Not achieving that would feel like I never got to fully live my best self 😢
Loving this one! ❤ You look gorg, loving the red on the skin tone, which makes you glow more! I'd be interested in hearing if you care to share, your wealth journey even if there is more to be done for you, but sharing tips and tricks for the girl on her wealth journey. So ways for multi-income opportunities, books, quotes (motivations to even get started) or podcasts you've learned from and that made the difference for you. Thanks for all your content!
The survival mode thing is so true🥲😭as a woman of colour you’re expected to be always busy, always busy always doing something and busy.I took a break from working I have enough savings to study for this year and just get back to it next year, but somehow I still feel bad for waking up, eat, gym and study!
Thank you so much for making a video on this topic because I really needed it! I’m 26 also and I started decentering men last year. I’m still figuring out how to do it now but my main focus this year is on myself and my career. ☺️
As a woman who was always in a relationship throughout her 20s and now single in my early 30s, this video was exactly what I needed to regroup and gather myself to feel peace that I will be more than okay 🩷
I started watching you last summer and to see your growth and maturity is just amazing ❤️ I took a look back at your videos from year ago and to see the difference is just mind blowing!! I’m so proud of you, and will be taking your amazing advice as always! I am 24 and trying to change my life for the better ❤️ Thank you so much hailey!!
Thank you for being so authentic and vulnerable. I'm 26 and I moved to Germany from the US two years ago for my Master's. Now I'm finished with my Master's and am moving back for a better salary. I thought I would find a guy here and be settled but over the past two years I have just been heartbroken by socially inept, emotionally unintelligent men. Like you said, sometimes it's hard and sometimes I just want to cry. But I'm hopeful for myself, and every time I've said I would not meet another guy, I turn around and do. I mean, I'm educated, I've worked at the UN, I've traveled globally, I have hobbies, etc. There is ALWAYS another guy out there, and I'm going to take moving back as an opportunity. I will also be able to surround myself with friends more. One interesting point is that I can name things that I love about my friends and that stand out about them (both male and female friends), but when it comes to guys I've dated, they all kind of just blend together. They don't have these amazing, unique qualities that my friends do.
hailey, i can’t thank you enough for ALL the videos you post. you have no idea how much you’ve been helping me on my single journey. much love to you and i wish you so much success ❤
Hailey, I just want to say the I’ve watched you since I was 23/25 (im now 28). I will be honest there was a point in time I stopped watching you because you were very prideful and it wasn’t something I was looking for but seeing you now in your late 20s I have to say you are an amazing human being. I understand it was because you were young and I didn’t realize I also had pride. Now I’m so impressed by your humbleness yet, you still know your that girl but don’t put anybody down while knowing that. I love this Era of you and now I am a true subscriber. I talk to my friends about you and how you are amazing!
I love how powerful this video is, you are still acknowleding that it is a desire to want companionship and to be spoilt and appreciated however those are all things you can also cultivate in yourself, you don't need to wait for a man to come in and give that to you.
First of all… jaw dropped when I saw you come on. NEED this fit!! you look amazing hailey!! - also i just had an experience where a man literally for the first time (which is crazy to believe) made me want to be a better woman as well. Don’t know if we’re gonna workout but i’m already so grateful to have met him. He has no idea how he’s influenced me to be on my sh*t lately!! Thanks for sharing sis!
As a woman you should enjoy your life and being single and being happy by yourself before you get in a relationship and date your self and really learn what you want and remember that you are the prize and so when you do get with someone else it's just a plus you sound like a beautiful person and love will always find you at the right time just be you and enjoy your life and before you know it the time will pass I remember my 20's I enjoyed everything about it 😂 and one day when I stopped looking it just surprised me and now I've been married almost 14 years and I'm glad I enjoyed my 20's God love's you and will bless you with all the love you have given and more I really enjoyed this video
I'm 41 and finally getting here after so many failed relationships. I finally realized I don't even know who I am I never took the time to find out. Just like you mentioned my dad also wasn't around and I always needed the approval of a man and his love. Even now (no lie) it's a struggle not latching on to someone new. But I'm just taking time to get myself together and really figuring out me. Ladies in your 20s please do this now you will thank yourself later
I’m a new sub, I just adore your energy, and wisdom! I’m 46 divorced with two children. Iv been on my own for a long time for the exact reasons you express here, what a lot of people don’t realise is that we are indoctrinated into believing we should be living a certain way that fits in with society and if we live any kind of unconventional life we are judged or automatically labelled as desperate, depressed or damaged. It’s absolutely possible and extremely rewarding for us to be our own partner for a season. The relationship we have with ourself will always impact our relationship with another, If we want an abundant life we have to create that for ourselves first and foremost. Here is my standing ovation…you are a star 🌟 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏🥰
Hailey, I've been watching you for years, and honestly that is my favorite video of you to date! Just the vulnerability and honesty, wow. Love this side of you, vulnerable, deep and wise! And you look beautiful!!!
Wow this deeply resonates with where I’m currently @ on my own journey ~ been dealing with a lot of external pressure from family to get married asap & was feeling rushed in my process to figuring out who I truly am / what I want; decided recently that though there is a ‘practical’ timeline for women (i.e. if they want to have children) there is still no rush .. there are a multitude of possibilities for what life could be :) Thx for this reminder 🙏🏽♥️
So real omfg. I'm 19 and I've never had a proper relationship. I've been a bit of a late bloomer, and hadn't even kissed a guy until my first semester in uni last year. As you can assume I was really taken advantage of for my lack of experience, and have been hurt time and time again. I've learned and matured so much since each guy I've messed around with, and have since been abstinent. My current single life paired with my now 4 months completely offline (besides youtube) have really taught me the importance of solitude and pouring into myself. I would love a relationship, or to know what romantic love feels like. And admitedly, I think about it a lot. But I'm also happy alone and focusing on growing and having a kinder relationship with myself. My grades are the best they've ever been in school, and I've stayed out of drama and unneeded heartbreak! Truthfully, as much as I want to be with someone, it's not a good time right now. I would be distracted from my studied for sure. I also think I have a bit more maturing to do, and I'm completely fine with that, really (: ❤
I’m 29 and this came along right on time 🙌🏽. I recently realized that I never fully healed from my last breakup because I didn’t take that time for myself right after and I feel like that is something I am going to intentionally take for myself now. I always thought I would be in a different spot relationship wise but this age, but I keep telling myself that everyone is on different time lines and that is perfectly fine. Thank you so much for sharing this❤
i can relate to hailey when she said he dated someone whom she felt like she wanna improved herself, i felt that once and I wanna find myself again in that situation, or actually be in a relationship where we really are very secure together. thanks hailey for this video, really need this!
@@haileygamba indeed! I remember back then I would really wanna perfect my craft for art and his words really encourage me bc he actually is bettering himself as well. 🤍🤭
![Quando Rondo - Life Goes On [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/eIf3fhMXAow/mqdefault.jpg)
So right Hailey! We shouldn’t rush and take life slow! I’m 35 and just met my fiance a year ago. He graduate from an Ivy League school and works for Wall Street, no children and financially stable. We as women can’t settle because of age. So happy I never took anyone serious in my 20s. Our taste and judgement gets better with age. I’ve taken solo trips abroad, went to therapy, bought my first home alone, learn my passions, found hobbies I love, I’ve failed and succeed w/ so many things and also had real life experiences while I was single. Every woman needs these experiences that will make you love your skin when you finally meet your man! 😘❤️
Well articulated. This gives me hope that there are men in their late 20s and over without kids , have a career and are financially stable. Congratulations on your engagement. You made the right choice to wait . Definitely learnt from your story. ❤
This is beautiful! Congrats to being smart and playing the long game ❤❤
Thank you for this. ❤
Congrats
Yesss I love this ❤
I’m 38 and I’m watching my freinds get divorced from abusive narcissists, having to co-parent with idiots, my sister’s husband came out as trans and is now transitioning to a woman/ the marriage is dissolving. Honestly ladies, stay in your discernment and decenter men. It’s wild out there.
Wild and crazy. Don’t lose hope but don’t focus on it either ❤❤
😮
Woahhh… that must be so confusing for your sister to go through. 💔
Whew chile, blessings to your sister 😢
Lord have mercy 😮
“You literally don’t have to do a lot to attract a man… you can literally just purely exist and men will like you” gave me the biggest chuckle because THAT PART😭😭😭 it really doesn’t matter.
That’s if you’re pretty. Don’t take your youth for granted because once you hit 30, it’s over
@@MB-xv7erHow's this line working for you nowadays? 😂
@@MB-xv7erI’m 30 and don’t even look my age. People assume i’m in my early 20’s
@MB-xv7er I'm very close to 40, and quite annoyed that many men that try to talk to me are born in 1995 and after....
@@MB-xv7er😂😂 lies I still get male attention.
As soon as you said, “Get a life…” I screamed. 😂 Because, yes! We need LIVES, Hobbies, plants. Something!
Yes, girl! Me: That right there! GET A DAMN LIFE!!! 😂😂😂
Ppl being unhappy in relationships definitely isn’t talked about enough. I’m at the age where I want a certain type of relationship or nothing at all. The low vibrational, one sided situations I’m seeing these days is nasty work!
🎯
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That’s so me to… will rather not have it at all
Oh honey, the skin is SKINNING and the body is BODYYIINNGG. Love how you gave your input on this topic. Once people realize that pouring into yourself is so valuable, the lack mindset towards singleness will be of the past.
Gorgeous!!!!!!!
I’m 39 and I’m just REALLY getting to the place of loving my single life. I’m on a mini Sebatical right now traveling. I just left Thailand and now am in Bali. Toyoko up next.. I’ve cried at least twice tears of joy being able to live this life and didnt get the husband kids I thought I wanted years ago . I wouldn’t be here right now. I still desire a partner but I’m letting go of trying to control the when. I spent atleast a decade trying to MAKE it happen. Now I’ve decided to just live ❤
Man I’m so glad idgaf about men! It’s cool if you meet someone genuine but if not that’s cool too for me.
Loved this video!! I’m 20, studying neuroscience, biochemistry, and philosophy at one of the top colleges in the country (US). I work part-time as an undergraduate researcher and spend my free time exploring a vast array of hobbies. My favorite thing to do is hangout with younger children. I’ve never dated and I’m not in a relationship. I feel like there’s so much to do in life. Please ladies, spend your time bringing value to the world and the right person will come help you do that!!
I’ve got such a similar lifestyle right now and honestly… such a slay of us 🫶🏼
This is so awesome!! Your work ethic is crazy lol. I would love to know your time management skills! I work full time and go to school part time for now and I feel like I'm struggling 😅
Wow, you go girl! Very impressive.
I was in 2 long terms relationships in my 20’s that turned into engagements, but later never happened because I knew I would not be truly happy with these men in the long run. I chose myself vs choosing comfort and convenience. It was hard to break them off but I’m so happy I did. I’m 31, at the height of my career accomplishing things I never thought I would. I have free time for myself and focusing on my happiness. It is amazing. I’m not going to be impatient and jump into anything unless I know it clicks and feels right.
I’m so glad that you mentioned how as black women we don’t take breaks or rest. It’s a deep rooted issue. At 40 I finally realize & know when breaks are needed!!! Beautiful content.❤❤❤
Falling in love with your own life is the blueprint..for more reasons than falling in love with a person. At 26 myself I see how precious preparation is & it’s true that when you tend to your own garden the butterflies show because you shine! The experiences you have with yourself are so special, start loving the little things with a big heart & your aura will let everyone know you are loved because you are love. Thank you Hailey, I adored this one 🌞
Who said my life over?!?! lol. lol. My life is just starting honey!
Period ❤
Thank you for this video, Hailey. I come from the hispanic community where men are the center of your life. You're expected to marry - but not too late or the less fertile you'll be. Expected to cook and clean and take care of the kids while your husband is away working. That is the only life our older generations know. It can be stressful when they're in your ear telling you you're running out of time (im 24). Knowing that what i am doing now is breaking those generational curses gives me peace. You just reminded me that healing all those years of generational trauma and hurt is okay. Its okay to be selfish now and pour into myself so that when my husband does come - im complete and am able to be there emotionally for him and my future kids. This video came at the perfect time.
That must be so hard. Cultural influence is real.
I remember being single in my 20s with my daughter. Feeling so lonely. Out at the clubs away looking around the crowds for a man in hopes of a relationship. Now becoming single again at 39 I am like well God’s going to have to send him to my doorstep bc I am so busy in life focused on my kids, work and my own business. Even keeping up my household that I don’t have a second to be lonely.
Hailey you are serving us not just with looks with wisdom. Seriously. I’m only 23 but you are really helping all the girlies younger and older, truly beautiful!❤️
I got married very young (18) and we separated 2 years later. It was soo messy, and I was so hurt. I stayed single after that for 7 years, then I had a situationship for a couple of months, and at first I liked that but quickly realized I couldn't imagine my life ever again with someone else. I have friends, I travel, and I genuinely enjoy being alone. My life is in no way boring. Of course it's not for everyone. Just know that you cannot depend on others to make you happy. I don't know what life has for me, but I love how it is.❤
i'm really so thankful for these gorgeous girls in RUclips I swear I don't know how my healing journey would be without you guys
I heard you sis ! I’m trying to decenter men from my life. It’s like every conversation is about dating and marriage. I am tiredddd of it. Yes I desire marriage but like you said, it’s not the end all be all. 😅
Every single convo.. I’m so bored 😂❤
You say that now while you’re young and healthy. This will change when life catches up to you my dear
This was so eloquently put and such an important topic for ladies to be thinking about!! Decentering men has been one of the biggest improvements of my life & decentering strangers’ opinions in general has been freeing. Recently I’ve been experimenting with my fashion & makeup more, free from the thought of what attracts/turns off men & it’s been so fun and fulfilling. Last summer, I use to spend too much time going on first dates with guys I really didnt even like too much - this summer, my dad and I are starting a vegetable garden and I’m doing a lot more mountain hiking which are two much more fulfilling uses of my time.
The absolute best thing anyone can do for themselves, is to become 100% self sufficient. If someone comes along, great. If not, great.
YUP ❤
"It attracts myself to me" I like that I like that
When she said this it struck a cord for real😪😪
I’ve been married for almost a decade.. but the most pivotal growth I’ve had was when separated… I learned during that time that It’s my responsibility to consider myself as an individual no matter who I connect with in life. No one is stopping you from doing the work to like your life.. and if they are, you have to set appropriate boundaries. Period
i’m almost 25 and feeling pressure to get out there and date, but honestly I don’t feel like it. the last guy I talked to was a bum and was a reminder of why I enjoy my own company
It's really hard being single right now but everytime I read these comments it reminds me that I'm in the right place lol 🥰😂
I’m 31 in an 11 year relationship (married with 2 kids) and this was still valuable to me
I’m only 17 and dealing with my first heartbreak and this was a rlly inspiring video.Seeing so many older women in the comments genuinely happy single gives me a lot of hope.I’m glad to learn this from a young age so I don’t make any of these mistakes again when I’m older.
Me too I’m watching this as a teenager too with my heartbreak and this video gives me happiness and inspiration
Stop dating men before u date life itself
I had this short period of time being truly single at the age of 28-30. And I can say I was the most happiest and in my most feminine energy. The need to be in a relationship disappeared. I was focused just on me. I tend to be a people pleaser. But being single I was only worried about what I wanted and what made me happy. I was content with being single.
"I dont want to be saved, I want to be enhanced." 20:25
Wheeew that spoke to me!! As a newly single woman, I've been on this journey of decentering men and finding myself. This video came at the right time. As always, thank you Hailey ♥️ love the dress!
I don’t know why this video made me emotional but it feels like a big sister is telling me that everything is going to be alright. There is a feeling of comfort and security when I’m watching your videos. You are truly an angel 🫶🏽 this video hit differently because everything you have said about self love and it opened my eyes to see what I beautiful relationship I can have with myself and to give myself everything I wasn’t given.
I am 37, I don't have a partner currently, I don't have kids and I sure as hell don't feel lonely. Do I want to find someone? Sure, why not. But I don't expect for that to be everything in my life, it simply needs to be a good complement for what I already have. :)
You look absolutely stunning Queen!!! 🫶🏻🫶🏻
I fall in love hard too. I love my husband and been with him since I was 20 years old. I’m 33 and have four daughters now. But I realized that marriage isn’t everything. It’s okay to be alone, it’s okay to go on solo dates with myself, it’s okay to have time alone away from the kids. I know that in the past, I could’ve done so much more if my focus wasn’t solely on my marriage. My husband and I both know we got married and had kids young but now we’re teaching our daughters that boys are not important lol getting your education, having a decent career, and getting your bag right is more important. ❤
"I don't wanna live in my misery", amen sis❤
I got no time for it ❤
This color looks so good on you. And your skin is glowing. Love your toned body.
I’m in a great relationship, but was single for 6 years and this is SPOT ON. If I can give any advice it’s to learn to be alone sooner rather than later! Be single if you can and take a period of time to not date anyone. And if you can’t do that, take your focus off romance and love for a bit. You can still be a great partner without making your relationship your whole focus, and I’d argue it’s better not to. When I think about how I was in my last relationship, I see how much more anxious and obsessed with validation I was. A relationship will not solve this for you, in fact, it will amplify your lack of self love and insecurities in many ways. Because even if this person helps you feel better, you develop a dependence on their assurance. Hailey, you will find someone great when the time is right, and until then, life is your oyster! 1/2 of my close friends are single and 29-32, one of them being my cousin who graduated from med school last year and is now a doctor across the country living her dream for the next couple years! ❤
Glowing up for YOU is definitely solid advice! At my big age of 33, I’ve gone through so many ups and downs with my weight. I switch up my style of dress, makeup and hair relatively frequently and I’ve honestly never had a problem attracting quality men at any stage. One thing I know for absolute certain, I garner the most attention when I’m my most CONFIDENT. Across the board, that’s what quality men are attracted to the most.
Ma’am…I have not even gotten to the meat of the video and I have to stop and give roses.
YOU LOOK AMAZING HUNNY!!! Keep doing what you are doing. Your presence alone is inspiring 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO. I met a guy who made me feel that way of becoming a better woman. things didnt work out between us but i have a new focus on becoming more educated and keep investing in myself!! Im 25 and i feel life is only starting from now on
He who finds a good wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22). The right man will find you. There are so many people in this world that are beautiful on the outside but not many that are beautiful on the inside with great character. I loved what you had to say in this video Hailey. ❤️
Exactly. I have found it very enlightening thinking about how Eve was made out of Adam's rib. The man should find HIS "rib" so to speak. Not the rib trying to fit into the man. And how the woman was "made for man." So even in Biblical terms, the woman is still the prize.
19:50 THIS!! Give yourself everything you need.. alone!
Amen…im 34 and even though im dating I’m really trying my best not to center that person. It’s really hard because most women are not wired to NOT to think about men. But I will never put my selfcare away because of a man. I still center myself as the main character in my life. Having a man is not a trophy 🏆…having mental clearness and peace is priceless ❤.
You look great girl. Are you a Taurus ♉️?
I am a cancer ♋️ ❤ so you can imagine this was EXTREMELY HARD FOR ME. Because I’m a hopeless romantic.. but yes you’re so right so many women center life around men
hailey you look so good!
That dress is so beautiful on you! I’m in my late 30s and just now working on self worth. Good for you
I’ve been in a long term relationship for 6 years in most of my 20s, this is the first time I can truly focus on myself and I’ve never been more excited for this new season. It’s odd how secure I was being single before my relationship ended, and how insecure and attached I felt over time. Learning discernment and falling in love with myself first. ❤️
Yess Sexual Discipline is what I need to work on ⭐️no more giving a man my life energy !!! Until the right one that God sends!! This season I’m focusing on myself 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
As someone who is recently married...I find this to be amazing advice
You are so honest. I love it. that's what sets you apart from the rest .You are genuine, and you tell it, like is
Lord the never ending questions. I’ve been single for 3 years.
I get a lot questions. It’s always from women who are in unhappy relationships 😩😩😩
Girl you look good with a “T” at the end!!!! 🤩🤩🤩
🥹🫶🏽
I'm 27 and married. My husband and I have been together for years now. Although my husband is my everything, I have my own friends, hobbies, I take care of myself and my husband has always said he was first attracted to how free spirited I am. Hailey you are so right, you need to flourish independently and be yourself instead of chasing men. You look amazing btw! 🩷
Period ❤ you did it right !!!
Hailey, Thank you!!! I’m 23 and never dated before not even as close as to hold hands with a man. I still haven’t had a first kiss and while sometimes I try and compare myself to others and get all depressed, there are other times when I’m happy with the way my life is. I recently went through a depressive episode for that sole reason because everyone around me seems to be doing okay relationship or life wise while I felt stagnant. Thank you for reminding me that I am more to life than being somebody for someone. I will now use all that energy to improve myself for me and get the life I deserve with or without a man in it, I will be fine!!
I wish I waited. I had a neglectful abusive upbringing and so I was easy prey and got sucked into situationships and relationships with abusive men. If I'd have had the knowledge that it's ok to be in my 20s and not dated anyone, life would have been better for me and I would have saved myself years of heartache and mental trauma. Be proud of your strength girl, you're doing the right thing for you.
I relate, you are not alone :). We are not the outcasts, we are normal, we exist and there is nothing wrong with us. Don't let society tell you otherwise.
Been with my man for 14+ yrs and some of these things still apply ;)
He just called on his way home from work and then a wave of emotion hits me. Sort of beating myself up but also trying to be calm. Trying to not feel so blah. 😢 More self care, accountability, healing and forgiveness. Im just glad he supports what fills me up.
The collarbones are slaying you are glowing inspiration 🩷🙏🏼
This is the first video on yt that literally bought me to tears and the moment it happened was when you said to relax at the very end. I took a deep breath and the tears just started rolling down my face. Im a single mom and it feels like im constantly reminded of what I dont have in this journey. Im healing from alot of trauma and it gets easy for me to think that “missing piece” is what will fix everything. This reminded me im doing so much on my own and im awesome for that. My career is thriving. I do something everyday that people say “I dont know how you do it” to. And im really working on myself for the first time after a deep dark depression. Im reminding myself that no matter what, I am worthy of a good and proper love. But I also deserve it from myself. I genuinely want to thank you for this video ❤️ it was right on time.
9:24 - THIS...sentiment resoundingly echoed. I don't want to have to suppress the best parts of myself anymore, and feel as if I have had to for some time now. This celibacy era I'm in is EVERYTHING, trust.❤
I just turned 20 & currently prioritizing me n what makes the little me proud. Dating n creating relations with people who don’t serve me has been a roller coaster ride since I started middle school leading me to a more toxic lifestyle that no longer controls me. I have always had a supportive family until times changed and the truth about my family history and traumas were uncovered.
Great video, my issue is I’m not having fun being alone. I’ve been single 5 years now and I’m at the point where this isn’t fun anymore. Maybe I can pick up so new hobbies to help fill the time. So glad you’re enjoying your journey!
You don’t necessarily have to be ALONE. You can casually date and make it fun!!!! But don’t center your life around men to the point where you feel like your life is meaningless without the presence of one.
Hailey! Can you make a video about prioritizing long term gratification over impulse / short term gratification regarding things like going to the gym, eating healthy etc.❤
I am 43 and I love your messages. Encouraging, empowering and inspiring! Thank you
It's never been about centering men for me. I want a family. A husband and children to nurture . The clock is ticking and I'm not seeing anything. Being alone is not the issue but knowing that i may never get my hearts desire of a family of my own really devastates my heart and soul. Being single is good and well and having your own life is great, but that's not what i want indefinitely. I don't want to live like that for the rest of my life.
I feel you and agree. It’s not about making men the “centre” but knowing that to live my most authentic self, i desire to be a wife and mother. Not achieving that would feel like I never got to fully live my best self 😢
Loving this one! ❤ You look gorg, loving the red on the skin tone, which makes you glow more!
I'd be interested in hearing if you care to share, your wealth journey even if there is more to be done for you, but sharing tips and tricks for the girl on her wealth journey. So ways for multi-income opportunities, books, quotes (motivations to even get started) or podcasts you've learned from and that made the difference for you.
Thanks for all your content!
The survival mode thing is so true🥲😭as a woman of colour you’re expected to be always busy, always busy always doing something and busy.I took a break from working I have enough savings to study for this year and just get back to it next year, but somehow I still feel bad for waking up, eat, gym and study!
Wow, I met a man also who made me feel like I want to be a better woman too. I totally understand that and everything you said!
Thank you so much for making a video on this topic because I really needed it! I’m 26 also and I started decentering men last year. I’m still figuring out how to do it now but my main focus this year is on myself and my career. ☺️
ugh hailey im only 20 and your words always resonate this made me cry. always thankful i found your videos.
As a woman who was always in a relationship throughout her 20s and now single in my early 30s, this video was exactly what I needed to regroup and gather myself to feel peace that I will be more than okay 🩷
I started watching you last summer and to see your growth and maturity is just amazing ❤️ I took a look back at your videos from year ago and to see the difference is just mind blowing!! I’m so proud of you, and will be taking your amazing advice as always! I am 24 and trying to change my life for the better ❤️ Thank you so much hailey!!
Thank you for being so authentic and vulnerable. I'm 26 and I moved to Germany from the US two years ago for my Master's. Now I'm finished with my Master's and am moving back for a better salary. I thought I would find a guy here and be settled but over the past two years I have just been heartbroken by socially inept, emotionally unintelligent men. Like you said, sometimes it's hard and sometimes I just want to cry. But I'm hopeful for myself, and every time I've said I would not meet another guy, I turn around and do. I mean, I'm educated, I've worked at the UN, I've traveled globally, I have hobbies, etc. There is ALWAYS another guy out there, and I'm going to take moving back as an opportunity. I will also be able to surround myself with friends more. One interesting point is that I can name things that I love about my friends and that stand out about them (both male and female friends), but when it comes to guys I've dated, they all kind of just blend together. They don't have these amazing, unique qualities that my friends do.
hailey, i can’t thank you enough for ALL the videos you post. you have no idea how much you’ve been helping me on my single journey. much love to you and i wish you so much success ❤
Hailey, I just want to say the I’ve watched you since I was 23/25 (im now 28). I will be honest there was a point in time I stopped watching you because you were very prideful and it wasn’t something I was looking for but seeing you now in your late 20s I have to say you are an amazing human being. I understand it was because you were young and I didn’t realize I also had pride. Now I’m so impressed by your humbleness yet, you still know your that girl but don’t put anybody down while knowing that. I love this Era of you and now I am a true subscriber. I talk to my friends about you and how you are amazing!
I love how powerful this video is, you are still acknowleding that it is a desire to want companionship and to be spoilt and appreciated however those are all things you can also cultivate in yourself, you don't need to wait for a man to come in and give that to you.
Tbh I’m just so excited to seee who you actually end up with!!! Please please whenever you get to meet him, don’t forget to tell us!
God don’t play about me❤ I can’t wait for the day and you will absolutely meet him when it’s sealed and dealedd baby
I’m 44 and this free game is everything!
Whewww!! That shirt is just bomb you babe, literally transforming before our EYES. I love it!! Keep going and inspiring the girlies 🎉❤
First of all… jaw dropped when I saw you come on. NEED this fit!! you look amazing hailey!! - also i just had an experience where a man literally for the first time (which is crazy to believe) made me want to be a better woman as well. Don’t know if we’re gonna workout but i’m already so grateful to have met him. He has no idea how he’s influenced me to be on my sh*t lately!! Thanks for sharing sis!
also can you please do a video on this body routine?!!
The passion and all the emotion in this video… god i teared
As a woman you should enjoy your life and being single and being happy by yourself before you get in a relationship and date your self and really learn what you want and remember that you are the prize and so when you do get with someone else it's just a plus you sound like a beautiful person and love will always find you at the right time just be you and enjoy your life and before you know it the time will pass I remember my 20's I enjoyed everything about it 😂 and one day when I stopped looking it just surprised me and now I've been married almost 14 years and I'm glad I enjoyed my 20's God love's you and will bless you with all the love you have given and more I really enjoyed this video
Watched this video 3 times cause I wanted to TRULY get the message!!! Thank you
Ok! I see you Hailey, wrapped up like a gift 🎁 under a Christmas tree! Skin glowing ❤OK!!!!
Ms.Gambaaa 😍😍 the skin, the glow and the face card!!
I'm 41 and finally getting here after so many failed relationships. I finally realized I don't even know who I am I never took the time to find out.
Just like you mentioned my dad also wasn't around and I always needed the approval of a man and his love. Even now (no lie) it's a struggle not latching on to someone new. But I'm just taking time to get myself together and really figuring out me. Ladies in your 20s please do this now you will thank yourself later
I’m a new sub, I just adore your energy, and wisdom! I’m 46 divorced with two children.
Iv been on my own for a long time for the exact reasons you express here, what a lot of people don’t realise is that we are indoctrinated into believing we should be living a certain way that fits in with society and if we live any kind of unconventional life we are judged or automatically labelled as desperate, depressed or damaged. It’s absolutely possible and extremely rewarding for us to be our own partner for a season.
The relationship we have with ourself will always impact our relationship with another, If we want an abundant life we have to create that for ourselves first and foremost.
Here is my standing ovation…you are a star 🌟 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏🥰
Hailey… that top had me mesmerized the first couple seconds. Like you are GLOWING. Love your takes like always, and ofc Gods timing is always right :)
Hailey, I've been watching you for years, and honestly that is my favorite video of you to date! Just the vulnerability and honesty, wow. Love this side of you, vulnerable, deep and wise! And you look beautiful!!!
You’re a gifted speaker, Hailey. Really ❤
I love love love this. You are so inspiring! Watching your videos reassure me that I’m not alone. Keep going girl! Thank you for your transparency.
"Welcome back for another video, Bum bum, bum bum" fav beginning of a YT video. 🎉😂❤ Hailey in red 🍒so beautiful!
🥹🫶🏽❤
Girl i’m 10 minutes in and everything is so well said oh my goodness. Hailey you’re the best so thankful for you!😊
Wow this deeply resonates with where I’m currently @ on my own journey ~ been dealing with a lot of external pressure from family to get married asap & was feeling rushed in my process to figuring out who I truly am / what I want; decided recently that though there is a ‘practical’ timeline for women (i.e. if they want to have children) there is still no rush .. there are a multitude of possibilities for what life could be :)
Thx for this reminder 🙏🏽♥️
Hailey you look soooo STUNNING 😭😭🔥✨
GWORLLLLL RED IS YOUR COLORRRR 😍😍😍😍😍😍
So real omfg. I'm 19 and I've never had a proper relationship. I've been a bit of a late bloomer, and hadn't even kissed a guy until my first semester in uni last year. As you can assume I was really taken advantage of for my lack of experience, and have been hurt time and time again. I've learned and matured so much since each guy I've messed around with, and have since been abstinent. My current single life paired with my now 4 months completely offline (besides youtube) have really taught me the importance of solitude and pouring into myself. I would love a relationship, or to know what romantic love feels like. And admitedly, I think about it a lot. But I'm also happy alone and focusing on growing and having a kinder relationship with myself. My grades are the best they've ever been in school, and I've stayed out of drama and unneeded heartbreak! Truthfully, as much as I want to be with someone, it's not a good time right now. I would be distracted from my studied for sure. I also think I have a bit more maturing to do, and I'm completely fine with that, really (: ❤
Even tho I’m in my early twenties this hit home for me 😊 You’re always on point Hailey ❤
Love the dress!!!❤️❤️❤️
Girl i love this so much and your comment men are not picky 😂❤️ im in love with you outfit ! Where is it from?
I’m 29 and this came along right on time 🙌🏽. I recently realized that I never fully healed from my last breakup because I didn’t take that time for myself right after and I feel like that is something I am going to intentionally take for myself now. I always thought I would be in a different spot relationship wise but this age, but I keep telling myself that everyone is on different time lines and that is perfectly fine. Thank you so much for sharing this❤
Thank God for women sharing and being vulnerable on the internet
You have not been playing with your color wheel. This red looks fantastic on you!
i can relate to hailey when she said he dated someone whom she felt like she wanna improved herself, i felt that once and I wanna find myself again in that situation, or actually be in a relationship where we really are very secure together. thanks hailey for this video, really need this!
It was a beautiful feeling. He was so “together” it made me want to bake, garden, and try on different dresses ❤😂
@@haileygamba indeed! I remember back then I would really wanna perfect my craft for art and his words really encourage me bc he actually is bettering himself as well. 🤍🤭