Your story made me weep. I am like your mother, married to a man like your father (but less financially successful). I weep that it took you so long to show compassion and understanding for your mother for what she had to deal with, even after years in al-anon. My daughters are 12 and 9 now. I need change in my life. I dont want to lose them. I have came across many stories where the children blame the sober parent.
I can't imagine what it's like to have children with an alcoholic partner. I left an alcoholic partner, and it was one of the most difficult things I've done. I felt like l was abandoning her. I suppose l did. She's choosing a bottle to the end and l can't take it away from her. I tell myself l matter and am loveable. Not sure l believe it yet.
I understand Brittany. I grew up with an alcoholic dad that binged, my mom responded like Susie's and my dad hit her. I'm not tall and thin, by the time I came along generally we did ok, they weren't at Elk clubs they were at neighborhood bars...I always felt inept and not accepted from 3rd grade on. Long story short pI dates and married an alcoholic...I was not physically abused or yelled at but very much manipulated. I was the parent. Bottomline, it hurts my heart to know my kids see me as the bad guy. I was the one enforcing rules, setting boundaries, etc and he was passive so he always looks like the good guy. He is in MANY ways, especially now having gone to treatment and working a program. Being kids and now tend they don't see the reasons for me being how I was nor do they understand.. they don't like to acknowledge any of his past issues, but they have no problem pointing out mine. I've been in program too and making changes. It hurts their don't remember as many of my positives. They think he's The Bomb and my son has no problem telling me so. ☹️. Just attend meetings and try to change you're behavior. Hopefully kids will see the change. ❤️
I can so relate to your story. Thank you for your share. I’m 5’10”, always very skinny, glasses.... my teens years were a disaster and my alcoholic parents left me with no coping skills for living. Al-Anon has saved my life and although at 77 I no longer live with active alcoholism I will never stop going to meetings!
As children, we are victims of our parents or significant adults' dysfunctional training. Couple that with our ignorance, misplaced trust, and immaturity, we become our own worst enemy victimizes. Takes time and good examples to move from victim to champions of our own positive story. God Bless our journey.
Makes me so hurt and upset children of alcoholics blame the sober parent. Its so unfair, we have to hide, ride and re do all the damage done to try and raise decent children in that hell. It eerks me. I grew up with adopted siblings and they still to this day memorialize their addict parents who abused neglected them and hate the family that took them in. I see children close in adulthood to their abusive parents but claim abuse and hate their good parents. What is that? My mother was right have to be a criminal to have justice and be a drunk or addict and abusive parent to get respect
Okay thought id look at alanon again but Jesus, the problem isnt you the problem was the alcoholic and living in that environment and having to change yourself over and over, abuse and trauma over and over because of alcoholic's choices. Im so tired of codependency people pleasing negativity. Having a hood heart and being taken advantage of by a sick person isnt your fault. A person after being demeaned and tortured abused by active addicts do not deserve to be told "well you're the problem".
@@1876Susan that's because we didn't cause the alcoholic's alcoholism, can't control it and can't cure it. That means the only person we can focus on is ourselves
Your story made me weep.
I am like your mother, married to a man like your father (but less financially successful).
I weep that it took you so long to show compassion and understanding for your mother for what she had to deal with, even after years in al-anon.
My daughters are 12 and 9 now. I need change in my life. I dont want to lose them.
I have came across many stories where the children blame the sober parent.
I can't imagine what it's like to have children with an alcoholic partner. I left an alcoholic partner, and it was one of the most difficult things I've done. I felt like l was abandoning her. I suppose l did. She's choosing a bottle to the end and l can't take it away from her. I tell myself l matter and am loveable. Not sure l believe it yet.
@@stickofbutter9733 you matter and you are of worth.
@@adriennesavage8920 Thank u Adrienne! U are very kind.
I understand Brittany. I grew up with an alcoholic dad that binged, my mom responded like Susie's and my dad hit her. I'm not tall and thin, by the time I came along generally we did ok, they weren't at Elk clubs they were at neighborhood bars...I always felt inept and not accepted from 3rd grade on. Long story short pI dates and married an alcoholic...I was not physically abused or yelled at but very much manipulated. I was the parent. Bottomline, it hurts my heart to know my kids see me as the bad guy. I was the one enforcing rules, setting boundaries, etc and he was passive so he always looks like the good guy. He is in MANY ways, especially now having gone to treatment and working a program. Being kids and now tend they don't see the reasons for me being how I was nor do they understand.. they don't like to acknowledge any of his past issues, but they have no problem pointing out mine. I've been in program too and making changes. It hurts their don't remember as many of my positives. They think he's The Bomb and my son has no problem telling me so. ☹️. Just attend meetings and try to change you're behavior. Hopefully kids will see the change. ❤️
It is sad.
Thank you for your wonderful speaker service. It has helped me here in December 2021.
This was GREAT! Thank you!!❤
I can so relate to your story. Thank you for your share. I’m 5’10”, always very skinny, glasses.... my teens years were a disaster and my alcoholic parents left me with no coping skills for living. Al-Anon has saved my life and although at 77 I no longer live with active alcoholism I will never stop going to meetings!
Loving her story and how she adds humor to it.
Great speaker. Thanks!
Thank you for posting!!!
As children, we are victims of our parents or significant adults' dysfunctional training. Couple that with our ignorance, misplaced trust, and immaturity, we become our own worst enemy victimizes. Takes time and good examples to move from victim to champions of our own positive story. God Bless our journey.
I absolutely adored your share! Laughs, cries, beautiful advice, thank you so much!
I dont know who you are or why you post these, but I sure am glad that you do!!
Susie changed, good for her. We all need our inner transformation/human revolution. =)
😢thank you for this share 🙏🏾
Thank-you
Thank you 🙏
I can relate to this 💯
Makes me so hurt and upset children of alcoholics blame the sober parent. Its so unfair, we have to hide, ride and re do all the damage done to try and raise decent children in that hell. It eerks me. I grew up with adopted siblings and they still to this day memorialize their addict parents who abused neglected them and hate the family that took them in. I see children close in adulthood to their abusive parents but claim abuse and hate their good parents. What is that? My mother was right have to be a criminal to have justice and be a drunk or addict and abusive parent to get respect
Problem is ME. That's it.
Loved when Susie spoke about the egotistc person in the room. Look around.
We were about 20 min into this one
Love you
I believe this happens BC ACOA think this feels normal
❤️
😪
😢
❤ty
Y
Pacoskid02
Okay thought id look at alanon again but Jesus, the problem isnt you the problem was the alcoholic and living in that environment and having to change yourself over and over, abuse and trauma over and over because of alcoholic's choices. Im so tired of codependency people pleasing negativity. Having a hood heart and being taken advantage of by a sick person isnt your fault. A person after being demeaned and tortured abused by active addicts do not deserve to be told "well you're the problem".
A
Her whole story is about the men she has slept with. I hope she finds peace with herself without men being the primary focus.
Yep
4 pillars of self esteem
She will ❤
À0
she starts off telling us what we should do
All Al Anon focuses on the what's wrong with the sober person. As if we need more of that.
@@1876Susan that's because we didn't cause the alcoholic's alcoholism, can't control it and can't cure it. That means the only person we can focus on is ourselves
@@1876Susan you can only control yourself and your actions. You can't stop a person drinking but you can take ownership of your response.
We have choices and if you make bad ones they are consequences, Hey Susie stop dating losers
Lmao
Hi Judy
Nnn j
@@bunzwayz3300 I know
When you can’t control their pain but we can control our pain by changing how we can let go of the pain and live our best life that is recovery