Blaming other ppl...sabotaging..being perfect then a shell..then hateful that "goodness" is not reciprocated...covert narcs...self hatred masked behind split. Just a guess. Also....thinking i know it all...lol
People with Scorpio rising have a very intense stare. It can be intimidating for some people. It is like you can see straight through certain people and that's what is so intimidating and can freak some people out. That is my experience of having Scorpio rising in my Astrological birth chart.
Frank James I never really thought of it like that!,I can read people easy even their next moves and puzzles I like it but damn didn't know were really rare!💯Love to all PEACE FROM GUAM💜🤙🏽
someone was like "i like you." "i don't like you back, i'm sorry i hope we can still be friends" "but you were flirting with me" "was i ??" "yes, you were being super considerate" "that's just my personality i dont have a choice"
@@crunchbucket3derham951 Which makes this line even better, because it opens the dialogue to the topic of MBTI types and psychology! I'd be excited if an attractive bloke asked me that. (Though, I may not divulge my type lol.)
You should try listening to yourself speak sometimes you show a clear disgust for people with narcissistic traits, and yet you appear to believe all narcissists are in love with you? Ha. Ha. Ha.
Yeah I experienced that too. Whats funny and scary is, I heard them discuss in their group of friends that Im sexualy attracted to them. Lol. And they are waiting for me to approach them and say what they want to hear. Hahajajajajajaj
@Vani S because it's naturally hard for me to give a crap. I've got books to read and often want the yappy things talking about the weather and sports to just go away. The INFJs are exciting because they really can talk about stuff that matters.
Same. It’s so weird. It’s to the point where I sometimes think, “couldn’t everyone develop the cognitive functions of an INFJ with time? How can people just be so unaware and still be.....people??” Haha, and I’m not asking this with a superior mindset, rather just in a truly perplexed state of mind. And I recognize that everyone else has gifts and abilities that I could only dream of having. The difference is that I recognize what everyone’s abilities are, but it seems weird that other people are just so unaware.
Is it just me or does any other INFJ feel drained when they come home, like from work, school etc? I'm a barista and I'm constantly dealing with so many people with different personalities; I'm adapting and pretending, smiling and reading subconsciously. It's honestly so draining. I can literally feel myself staring and making connections even if I don't want to - which, I don't...But, I do anyway. I connect so much and feel so exhausted when I get home. It's hard trying to explain to people who aren't like me why I'm always so tired.
I could not agree more! I am an INFJ and work as a barista at a Starbucks, and the hundreds of people I deal with on a daily basis is too much for me. I come home after talking with so many people and I honestly just crash.
I felt this on a spiritual level. Over time, I realized that I dont have the strength it takes to technically camouflage into a situation anymore. Its draining and takes an emotional toll on you. Lately, ive been taking personality tests again, and, despite the fact that it might not be 100% reliable, most of them literally say that im no longer an infj, and im starting to lean towards being an infp. Its weird, like being a shell if an infj and still relating to it, but im no longer spiritually strong enough of how tough it is to actually be an infj
same here ... and I've worked as a barista mate..I need help I always feel exhausted after a long period of socializing (work etc...) I dropped my job after 2 weeks for twice because of feeling exhausted by the smiling and interacting and replying to people I thought it's an abnormal anxiety cause I take medication for anxiety/depression but now... I get why !
Do any INFJ's have a habit of "spacing off" or having a faraway look all the time? Just because I'm taking in so much information and so inside my own head. In stores, I've often been asked if I'm looking for something in specific. No ma'am, just the meaning of life. lol
When I space out, it's either because I'm suffering input overload or I'm processing what I've taken in. The only other time I space out is when I'm eating something really delicious. :-)
I catch myself doing that. Most of the time it's in public and I have to tell myself "come back and look at something else" I will space out and be in my own thoughts and feels for like 5 minutes without knowing it.
Teachers used to think I was daydreaming in class and were surprised that I always had valuable things to say when they asked me questions. They thought I was daydreaming when I was just processing the information.
I have the same thing once in class a teacher asked me if i understood the subject she was talking about and i got confused because i did so after class i asked my friends why she asked me that and they said it looked like i was spacing off
as an introvert, I hate staring at people, when I'm talking about my experiences I'm looking everywhere but into someone's eyes yet when I listen it's like a STARING CONTEST... WTF.
Hmm I have a theory. I think that this happens because when we are trying to word what were thinking about, we can't really make eye contact because we need to focus on saying what were saying instead of absorbing the other person's energy, but when were listening all were doing is listening.
You should read “The Introvert Advantage”. The author discusses this tendency for introverts to need to look away from people when talking so that we can focus on communicating our thoughts.
frontlinepdx, obviously you are not in the club. If you were, you would know he pain of being alone your whole life, no one understanding or validating you. And since we are homebodies, the internet is an easy place to find us because we are spread out and in hiding. If you are trolling, you better look somewhere else.
Z P I have watched a few videos on this subject because I suspect that I am one of these people. I’m also a stubborn asshole so I kind of don’t care about the club or labels in general (I’m still not sure what a gamma is). I believe in the uniqueness of the individual pretty strongly, and the power of the will. I don’t mean to troll or torment honest, good people, but I can, and will, if I want. Be well, sir, or madame, if you chose to.
I didn’t take it that frontlinepdx is trolling. It has been a pain that no one else interested in the abstract, feely stuffs I’d like to talk about. I don’t like interacting with extroverts, so therefore, you’re right. My best dating experience has been with another INFJ. I wouldn’t mind dating an Infp, though.
As an INFJ I am definitely interested in others so identified. Helps me understand myself better. But it’s also because I care about others and am delighted there are others. I am trying to understand how I am similar and also different from others who apparently approach life the same way I do. Just to realize this is a style not unique to myself has been quite enlightening - and I feel an affinity with Frank and other INFJ channels just because I get it. I've been there. I am 68 now and I've gone through most of the painful stages of having this personality profile - of loneliness which has now become aloneness - of not having understood why I must maintain distance and remain away from the center - to now embracing that distance because it preserves freedom - Of having no real self acceptance because I never measured up to my own standards to now having embraced my own individuality. I am now learning more about how I am wired. And that's major cool. Also I find some fellowship in the fact I can affirm other INFJs who are wired in the same way. For me though, my journey of finding a way out of the mess and a way through to life really began when I found faith in Jesus Christ. That is an immediate change but also a long term process of growth ... And one begins then to ascertain where one fits into the overall scheme of things. The why am I here bit. And I keep wondering if I will ever come across another INFJ in one of these discussions who has also found that particular path/ and that answer. For me, it is central. But it does not seem to be common. And I find that perplexing, for we are seekers of truth. In time, I trust I will find the answer even to this. But regardless, I will go on. Thanks Frank and others who have shared their heart-felt insights.
Carol , Hello I usually don’t ever comment, however I feel as though I need to say something to you. I believe deeply in my heart (I’m not sure if its the absolute purpose), that God has called me to a certain path, and I know the things he wants me to do. Btw, I’m also an INFJ. 🌸
stylememaria yes. As they’re telling the story I’m hurting like it’s fresh and even when I see a fresh hurt I hurt in my chest like a heart break. It’s crazy. I literally feel other people’s pain. It’s why we protect ourselves a lot from getting close to people. Bleeding heart and all.
My INFJ stare can mean anything from “I am seeing you right to your soul” to “I am analyzing you on various levels” to (mirroring mode) “Omg. How ridiculous. Look at yourself” to “I am not even here right now, but I am very much aware of what is going on around me”, etc. Gotta love our versatility. 🤷🏾♀️
Is that why I don't like eye contact? It feels too intimate and weird for the other person and I can totally feel that come back at me. Sometimes people think it's flirting.
I hated eye contact as a kid. Maybe I subconsciously knew it would cause me to know nore than I felt like knowing but generally it was uncomfortable for me, like I was shameful. Maybe because it would open a whole new world, who knows, but I gradually made myself used to it so that I could look directly at people, but I generally do feel more comfortable when I don't gotta. There's been a few times I have resisted the urge to stare down a stranger and read them as well bc eventually they could notice. Oh dear.
Weird. It’s hard to continually make eye contact in a conversation. I always heard you should look a person in the eye when you’re talking to them because you can’t trust someone who won’t “look you in the eye”. But I find myself looking away because I’m trying to process what I’m about to say. I know all the right words and ideas are there but spitting them out correctly is a chore for me. I hate to stumble over words and much prefer to write or type what I need to say.
@@frankbennett6012 This can also be true. I'm simply more comfortable looking away half the time, sometimes I use whatever I'm doing at the moment as an excuse to not look at the person at all. I also have a hard time saying what I want to the way I want to. Sometimes I can't even socialize unless I stop thinking and blurt out whatever comes to mind at the moment but then I can relax bc I put aside the pressure of getting them to understand then Iater I can more easily break down a new thought and feed it to them more leisurely like a baby bc I naturally analyze how they percieve things. Lol
@@frankbennett6012 I feel the exact same way. I prefer to type or write to better say what I want to say. And person to person convos I'm always reminding myself to look at them in the eyes, or its rude or the person doesn't thinks it's that sincere of a convo, I get self-confidence about that but then looking in their eyes is even more uncomfortable. 😂
When your staring at a teacher in class and you know they're wondering if your confused or not. So you focus on changing your facial expression, but end up not obtaining the information. No just me?
I can figure a person’s agenda with a glance at their eyes...but can’t remember their name to save my life unless I see something exceptional in them.....
So many of my friends have looked at me and were concerned like "Are you ok?" And I'm like "Yeah, why?" And they're like "You look sad" or "You're just staring off into the distance" and I'm just like "Yeah, no I was just thinking don't worry about it"
Whenever I stare at people in a convo I often make up my responses in my head but never say them, so sometimes I assume I told someone something but in actuality I just thought it, it's frustrating!
Katy Plays Sims yeah I did this especially when I was taking college courses ( my brain was everywhere). My friend was like “ did you hear me” and I said “yeah you didn’t hear my answer” she stared at me and said “ I didn’t see your mouth move this whole time”. It’s embarrassing.🙃
My ex bestfriend used to be so frustrated with me. She would say I only replied to 3 things she said out of 10. And I would be like what are you talking about I replied you. She would say scroll up and I would and be like I swear I thought of all the responses but apparently never typed it out. Sigh.
@@ted5871 Lmaoo right. Sometimes I feel like my face changes with my mood. Like if I'm feeling myself and have been hyping myself up all day I look in the mirror and am like damn! I'm really that beautiful. And when I feel insecure I'm like damn do I really look that busted. We're honestly such little weirdos but I love it
There's this comedian,John Mulaney in one of his segments said sth along the lines of "I don't know what my body is for other than taking me from room to room.."that hit hard.I'm forever feeling like i have sb else's body,face esp.I rarely look at myself in the mirror cuz it's scary af.
I had my stare even when I was younger, it made people really uncomfortable. I was this cute little blonde girl with pigtails and a death stare, my parents called it my “owl look.”
When I'm listening to someone I don't know very well and I'm fully engaged, I see in their expression that my eye contact is unnerving them. I get distracted by their discomfort because I don't want them to feel uncomfortable, so I try to meter it out and look away every so often. But it feels SO unnatural and I'm putting so much energy into regulating how I look at them that I'm no longer listening properly and I'm worried that they either: think I'm bored, or: can see the whole inner turmoil on my face. It's awkard.
“INFJ’s don’t often feel like they’re ‘in their bodies’...” WHAT IS THIS?! This is me, all-the-time, but I’ve never been able to describe it - or God forbid tell anyone else about it - and I’d love to know what “this” is... I almost dropped my phone when I heard you say that.
Stellar Celeste Dissociation. A coping mechanism made is defense against traumatic experiences probably made worse by the fact that ONFJs think too much instead of living and feeling in the moment. I did this and am still working on it because it’s a difficult habit to break. Also, I am an INFJ as well
We have worked out long ago , that the "I" is not really my body. The real "I" is my mind. That inner dialogue is so exciting and interesting! Sure I stare, but it doesn't take a mature INFJ to sum up a person really fast, and see exactly where they fit into the overall human pattern.
Also an INFJ mine specifically is depersonalisation - partially thanks to my brain's coping mechanism for anxiety and also partially because I tune out from situations while I'm observing so it feels like 'I' am not there or rather that I am watching the situation through a TV screen in my head and am removed from it all. Super freaky when I had it full on but a lot easier to manage now that I can give it a name
I’ve discovered that doing these things isn’t healthy. Our minds are interesting places but when I’m in the thick of a depressive episode it’s really unwise to let my brain wander. It’s important to try to live in reality and let our intuition exist as a part of ourselves but not be our entire selves. And not dive into our mind palaces alone too often.
@@NJ-wb1cz i have no idea half of what you are saying. But the infj and the 16 personality thingi. Its like the same as the constilation people. Its dumb. Besides for a guy who is an infj and introverted and "hidden" inside or what ever they call it. He has a lot to show on the room that tells me a lot about him. His telling people. Read me cuz im that easy to read
@@SZ-jr8pt just read your reply because someone upvoted mine. I've since learned a lot more about INFJs, and now I realize that there was absolutely zero chance of my comment being understood by anyone but _some_ INFPs with extremely underdeveloped Fe and overdeveloped Fi. INFPs and INFJs have fundamentally different understanding what "reading" is, and it has a fundamentally different place in our value system - and I seem to be on a far side of that spectrum. I don't use it to feel better than someone, or to invade someone's head, or to place myself above someone, or to manipulate someone (the very concept is completely foreign and absurd to me) or anything like that, it's the _only_ way for me to see. It's _without it_ I'm absolutely blind and can easily be a total asshole to others without realizing it. For me it's not the difference between knowing how to manipulate and abuse a person or not (which is what INFJs tend to assume and guard against), it's the difference between seeing a person with all their feelings and needs as if they were me and trying to make them feel better, or not seeing them and treating them like they don't have any needs and feelings. In the latter case I have to constantly and purposefully change my behavior to try to be more humane towards them "manually", and it's annoying, draining and artificial, and I tend to eventually mistreat them here and there anyway. I've deleted it to prevent further misunderstanding.. ps. I view MBTI from purely utilitarian perspective and it does help me understand myself and others better. Whatever helpful is helpful, and discarding it altogether just because it's a completely manufactured idea just doesn't seem smart to me - my own assumptions and mindsets are also manufactured ideas, and stealing some mindsets of others seems like a nice cheat to save on effort and profit off of other people's experience.
Leslie What is this?! I ALWAYS feel like I’m almost a passenger alongside of my mind’s eye and that I’m not really “in” my body. There will be times when I’m actually astounded that I’m doing whatever it is at the time because I feel like I’m just “not there” mentally. It sounds so crazy when I say it aloud but I’m so curious about this!
As a fellow INFJ, can I just say that Dumbledore was my most hated character in the series? Like, I dislike him even more than Umbridge and Voldemort and Petunia. Am I the only one? 😣
@@theutopianist33 From my point of view, he had been an integral factor and manipulator that led to Tom and Harry's circumstances. 1. He alienated and scrutinized Tom Riddle because of his moral code of "Slytherin's descendants are bad". The moment Dumbledore realized that Tom could speak to snakes, he was immediately cold and highly suspicious of Tom's every move. As Tom was a developing child, I have reason to believe that Dumbledore's authority and constant suspicion had been a massive contributor of his descent to Voldermort. 2. He advocated abuse and mistreatment, for a good long-term cause. Dumbledore had been aware of the Dursleys' abuse of Harry. Evidence: Hogwarts letter was addressed to Cupboard Under The Stairs. The only reason that I can think for an INFJ to allow abuse is if they believe that it would make a person better in the long run. As shown, Harry was bedazzled by the wizarding world after years of abuse, believing that everything Dumbledore said and did was good and right. This helped Dumbledore to create a malleable hero. Another case would be Sirius Black. It was obvious in Prisoner of Azkaban: Dumbledore knew that Sirius had been innocent the whole time. I mean, Dumbledore was the one who hinted at Harry to save his godfather. So why didn't he take action thirteen years ago and stand for Sirius's innocence? The only answer that I can arrive to is: If Sirius was free, he would have had contest over Harry's guardianship rights (as a godfather), which would screw up Dumbledore's plan of raising a malleable hero.
people who are aware get intimated, I been jokingly told by new people I meet that I'm a person to be feared because I observe everything so intensely.
I'm an INFJ, and I don't know if this is gonna sound really weird or not, but while he's explaining what introverted intuition is, I instantly, already knew exactly what he means by the "INFJ stare", before he even started talking about it
Sometimes i even stare at the wall when im thinking and my family freaks out every time they see me. Thinks im losing my shit but im just organizing my thoughts. And for myself staring at people, its the same thing. They get awkward with me when they stare back and i smile not to look creepy but i end up creepy more because of the smile. Hahaha. It usually happens when a person is speaking and am listening and figuring them out and when they look at me, i smile or have a staring contest and they end up not looking at me anymore. Hahahah
Yoo Kyungwan staring at the wall! Guilty as well!!! Hahaha, I used to stop with the bread halfway in the air from my mouth while getting ready for school to develop some idea. Used to drive mom crazy, she thought I was ready to pass out or something.
I’m sure we have all heard, “when you look at me it’s like you are scanning my soul”...”your eyes are amazing!”...”when you look at me I feel I could tell you anything”...”I feel like I have known you forever”...”you listen so well”...”are you a physic “
This is why I am very careful with my eye contact, I have realized that a lot of people tend to get intimidated by it, and I can feel that my lingering eye contact is somewhat intense. Unfortunately, I can't stop reading people when I look at them, It's out of my control, I collect everything, and I think that people notice that, which can make the whole thing pretty awkward for them. So I often limit my eye contact - thinking that it will make the other person more comfortable, the only time I go for full eye contact is when I'm interacting with individuals I feel can handle it well, in those cases it's really no problem at all. But those are rare individuals..
furthermore ....i end up possibly weirding out "normals " by doing the same - limiting eye contact....thinking , well , they wont then get the death stare ....but it usually ends up weirding them out as they pick up i am possibly hiding something or cant look at them and make them feel relaxed ......very odd .
Any INFJ's that randomly talk to them selves in a mirror and notice their own facial expression,admiring how cute they are and wink? no? mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. just me then.
The first time I became aware of my stare (as you described it), was when a teacher stopped a class and asked if I was confused because I had a strange stare on my face. I was simply taking it all in.
Relatable! When I ask a question in class, the teacher will explain it and the whole time I'm trying to look like I'm actually listening to the answer when in reality I'm FIGHTING not to read into the teacher while they're talking to me. Then 99% they will follow up with a skeptical look and say "does that make sense?" And I always say yes of course cause I dont want to go through it again. That's why I avoid asking questions. 😓
Once my teacher in class noticed my stare and asked me about it in front of the whole class. I wasn't even aware that i was staring at him the whole time. It was embarassing!
SAME. our teacher has the tendency to just roam around the classroom while explaining a concept. everyone else would be staring at the board where the slides are and i would just stare at the teacher while she’s explaining. everytime she catches me staring, she completely stops mid-sentence and say “huh, are you okay? did you understand that? what’s wrong?” because i apparently look as if i’m going to butcher someone but in reality i’m just trying to let the information soak.
@@urmama54 Keep staring at teachers. It's fine! if they hate it and get uncomfortable, the stock answer is "I'm looking at you when you are talking to me. It would be rude and ignorant, to ignore you".
My dad always told me I was the one person he could never figure out and a lot of my classmates said I was the hardest person to read out of everyone in our grade. I thought something was wrong with me. But a few days ago I randomly watched a video on infj personality traits and then did a personality test. It all makes sense now. It was actually a huge relief to know that it’s not some kind of mental illness or something
Honestly, it feels like every personality type is a mental illness. As an ENTP, I have ADHD and have some narcissistic traits but not enough to be diagnosed. I literally feel like this world was made for ISFJ (nurse) or ESFP (cool girl) women and the top 4 most common personality types for men.
My whole life I felt misunderstood and I didn’t feel anybody could “get”me, and when I opened up to someone they always called me an exaggerated person or weird in a bad way and I needed to change. I thought I had a mental problem , and recently I didn’t know who I was until a friend ( she is an INFP and the only one who kind of understands how I feel) of mine showed me the personality exam, resulting in INFJ, and with some research and patience I felt identified and relived that INFJ’s exist and it’s not some illness, now I’m actually happy bc I feel like I am not alone anymore and accept me as who I am, I feel like home :D
@@noriii971 yes kinda...I have the same thing,it's hard to explain its like a force or energy that comes from ur eyes and from eye contact U can tell the person ur having eye contact ,if ur angry,sad,flirty.etc. by just looking at them,well that's what I think and feel.and I also feel like they understand what im trying to tell them through eye contact!
Two of my kids- my daughter (24 yrs) and son (20) and I are all INFJs and it's not complicated at all. We all know instantly where we are coming from and are usually on the same page- if not we can get to the same page with only a word of two. It's uncanny.
Coming from an enfp presently crushing on an infj, I think it's easier for you guys to be "ignored" in a group because you guys seem to "allow" everyone to go ahead of you out of sheer politeness. It's this maturity of yours that people seem to overlook and it makes you appear as a pushover( which you're not💖)or "easily forgettable" but enfp catches on to this.😏💖
I would find a constant smile creepy. :D Seriously. I was talking to a woman one time about the pagan roots of some practices in Christian holidays and she kept smiling and saying, "How interesting." Then she talked about me behind my back to a friend, and they both figured that I had slipped over the line from genius into insanity. I was so mad about her phoniness, encouraging me to talk when all the time she thought I was nuts. By the way, I am not a genius. I just happened to have read books a lot more than her and that other lady.
Another thing, sometimes people think we're all zoned out and cold but sometimes my thoughts are so loud that I don't know what I actually said and what I didn't say. So then I take a step back and realize how closed off I seem to others.
I lied. Im just a very intelligent istp One interesting thing though is istps and infjs can get along incredibly well. I have a couple infj friends that helped me distinguish But for any naruto fans out there, kisame and itachi were an istp/infj pair. They were the only members of akatski to actually become friends
Sometimes when I speak with someone I have to be like: Okay look at them. Okay now look away for a few seconds. Nowwwww look back just so they don't think I'm acting weird or staring at them lol
INFJ too. Friends and family know that I daydream a lot and end up staring at them. My secret is that I'm not actually absent-minded at all :| It's simply easier to fall back on than explaining.
Infj special traits and power are kinda psychic ability to read one's mind an aticipated action of words their going to say or act. Then we could be prepared fast in that moment. And the gut or intuition feeling love that ability to feels what will happend next. Love it .
Wow. This is revolutionary. My stare has been misunderstood as flirtatious by some, a deep sense of admiration by some, an attempt to figure people out by some, and deemed uncomfortable by others. It all makes sense.
I'm an INFJ, but my stare is different because of personal issues. I have a hard time maintaining eye contact cause it makes me uncomfortable from past emotional/verbal abuse. I'm also deaf, so I automatically watch people's mouths while they're talking, either spoken English or in sign language. The more comfortable I am with someone, the more eye contact I'll make. I'm still paying attention even though I'm not looking directly at someone, my deafness means hyper-aware through vision.
I have a hard time with eye contact as well, but when I was younger I thought everyone else could "read" people too, so I think mine started as a self defense tactic.
Hahaha same here, I'm always misinterpreted by the way I stare.. Because they think I'm angry or being grumpy will infact I'm just thinking having this mini debate in my head hahaha
Like the one gray hair and the other piece of hair that keeps wanting to attach itself to his face? That the spots on his shirt were, in fact, not bleach?
I frequently move the screen up on my laptop when watching MBTI videos because the accompanying clips they show are distracting or the person is just sharing information and they aren't as interesting as Frank. Sometimes he's annoying with his exaggerated way of talking and moving, but I understand it is to keep his audience from nodding off to sleep or changing the channel because they are bored.
The stare is so relatable... I tend to stare into people's eyes when i'm having a conversation with them until i get a weird stare back from them which makes me realise that its time to shift my gaze elsewhere. This makes me feel really uncomfortable because i don't want them to think i am rude or get creeped out, because neither am i rude nor am i creepy. It's really difficult when you have got a big pair eyes. Sometimes i just wanna wear shades all day, all night just so that no one can see who i'm looking at. Sometimes i just don't want to look at people, sometimes i just too scared to have an eye contact and so i avoid it.
do you also feel like you can tell what someone thinks about you or whether or not someone likes you just by being around that person and looking into their eyes? damn it's like you can look into their souls!! Maybe that IS why people get uncomfortable around us INFJs because they're scared we would read their minds!!! I believe INFJs possess a very strong and accurate intuition.
I find myself starting at people when they're talking or in a group; but whenever I'm sharing, I can hardly look anyone in the eyes. Not sure if it's too much incoming stimuli to focus on what I'm trying to communicate or if it's more trying to keep my intimate little box of self hidden away.
When I see someone new who seems like a phony or possibly evil, time seems to slow down as I’m analyzing them. When I think back I can remember every nuance of their expressions. To me it’s almost dreamlike.
Jane Marinelli this is so true. I feel people’s vibes. And I’m reading every single micro expression. It’s crazy lol. I often think CIA and FBI needs is more as analysts lol.
LOL! "Not because we are interested in having very close relationships but just because we're interested in people and interpersonal dynamics." So very true, I couldn't have said it better. Totally explains the extroverted feelings I had when I was younger, I was simply trying to understand human nature through social interactions.
Yeah, that "Not because we are interested in having very close relationships but just because we're interested in people and interpersonal dynamics" statement was right on. With a lot of people, just regular people, a 15 minute conversation with them is enough for me. And some, a lot less than that.
I am supposedly an ENTP and I am genuinely interested and curious about people. So I go up to them and start a conversation. And guess what. Sometimes this behavior of mine is interpreted as flirting. Especially by introverts.
i am an INTJ if i stare at someone i just stare at a problem (it could be in a bad or a good way if they are the problem that's bad if their personality is interesting like a math problem now their good) if i dont you wont even notice me lol
Now I understand Why Guys Think I am Flirting with them .. When Actually i am just Taking information or maybe their Stupidity Rendered me Speechless.! 🤣🤣
I just recently realized that I was an INFJ and I’ve been staring at people for as long as I can remember!!! I think what bothers me the most is when people don’t look back at me, I feel like they’re hiding something. But when people do look back at me, I’m like 👁👄👁
Ahahah yes my uncle has the same thing.its the energy ur putting and ur intense face expressions,what U could do is to just calm down and don't worry about looking at them just look at they're eyes as if it's a object or something
I had to work a lot on my self confidence to hold eye contact, and don't have much trouble with it nowadays. But oh boy you should see me when I'm drunk with a nice person. Confidence + Curiosity makes me stare endlessly into the eyes of the person I'm talking to. I'm absorbed by the conversation, like they become my whole world for a while. I enjoy it, and them seeing I only care about them makes them happy. It's nice.
I usually force myself to look into the eye while im listening to others but when i have to talk i cannot bc my thoughts drive away my eyes i literally cant contol it :0
I’m always in my head thinking and staring and sometimes I forget I’m in a world where there’s people around me. One time this boy told me that I look depressed all the time.
Oreo Lover my mentor who has helped me a lot with the look thing. Said I looked always have this look sorta like a wet puppy looking for love or something. I was like what? I’m not doing anything. He told me he knew I wasn’t aware. It’s all the feelings and pain and what not.
i’m an infj, and this is the first video i’ve seen of yours. weird thing is, i cannot understand whatever’s going on with me right now. you have such a familiar energy, and it’s so strong that’s freaking me out...
I get people’s vibes all the time. I tend to keep people at arm’s length. One time I was at a store and there was a guy behind me and I wasn’t even looking at him I was looking at the cashier and all of a sudden my senses just went haywire and I froze like what’s happening cause I had this horrible feeling and I turned and saw the guy running out. He shoplifted. I picked up the bad energy from him somehow even though I totally wasn’t paying attention to him. This happens with people I meet too. Weird.
Sometimes when I see someone’s true colors in their eyes it makes ME uncomfortable and I have to look away. It’s like I am afraid I can’t conceal the horror in my expression. I’m the one left feeling too vulnerable, too exposed. I would like to be the kind of person that doesn’t look away.
I remember when I was a kid, I asked my father this question "have you ever experienced this thing when you just stare-off somewhere and it feels as if you lose all your surroundings and you're just in your head?" He answered: "you are just staring-off mindlessly" I replied: "no it's something different" but I still couldn't explain it myself back then. Now that I'm older I kind of understand it. I'm not just blankly staring-off somewhere. I may look like that but actually I'm looking inside my mind and trying to decipher whatever thoughts are circling inside it at the moment while automatically absorbing additional info from the outside world. Like I'm here but actually not. That's the best explanation I can muster. I know you guys understand
I think we call it mindlessly but I think all peopel that do that actually are in their own worlds or are there peoople that actually do it mindlessly?
I don't stare off into space when other people are around, but I spend a lot of time alone and lie in bed for a long time, thinking about stuff. I've seen my son stare off into space. His personality is a lot like mine. One time when he was a teenager, he was sitting at the counter of the restaurant where I worked, staring off into space. The owner's daughter said to her mother, "What's the matter with him, staring like that?" The mother bear in me came roaring out and I snapped at her, "What's it to you? He isn't hurting anyone!" She backed off right away. It probably gave her quite a shock because I usually have a mild temper.
2:57 this the most INFJ thing ive heard *makes slight joke about used book stores that is not rlly offensive* "i hope any employees in used book stores are not offended-"
As an ENFP I love INFJ’s y’all are the kindest and cutest ppl on the planet by the way. I feel safe around y’all and I don’t feel safe around most people 🌸
The feeling of safety is probably why my ENFP grandson and I got along so well when he was a little boy. I looked after him a lot, and I didn't see him engaging in stimming when he was with me, like my daughter talked about due to his Aspergers. I was surprised to hear that he jingled keys a lot around her, which drove her crazy. I never heard him jingle or saw him jiggle, but I did see him move pretty fast sometimes when we were at the water park. It made other people's jaws when he really got going, and laugh and look at me, as if to ask "How do you handle it?" But I just thought it was cute and was glad he was working off his energy. He wasn't like that all the time, but he was always interesting. He is very strong-willed and we had some battle royales to get him to clean up his messes or to write out lines when he misbehaved, but I thought of his personality as "zesty" and, most of the time, a lot of fun.
This is very true. There was a period of time where I avoided eye contact as much as possible because I realized that it made people uncomfortable. Sometimes when I'm really in my own head I won't really be thinking about anything in particular and then I'll suddenly realize that I've been staring at a person for about three minutes and they are starting to squeam. The craziest thing is when I'm watching somebody do something I 100% do not approve of. I have accidentally scared people to death because they looked up and I was just there with this intense stare, like, "no". A couple people had trouble talking with me afterwards and I kind of felt guilty. Also, I love used book stores. I don't understand how you can't love them.
Very true, and typical of INFJ's (i guess). I have the same experience with people not understanding how the INFJ takes in information. So many times in social settings with people I don't know, I use the secondary function and just feel my way through the situational setting (very uncomfortable, at first), without processing the inputs that I normally receive with the Extroverted Intuition. It feels so strange, when I do this....Its like removing your shirt and baring ones chest. I said all of this to say that, I do this to not make people uncomfortable. I guess that is a characteristic of an INFJ... Strangely enough I enjoy this, but soon I tire of it and I need to recharge. I love the library and used book stores, I think that INFJ's like book stores/libraries because they can open up their functions and not worry about explaining to someone or offending someone by not talking and interacting with everybody.
Honestly, I creep out a lot of people because I am absorbing them and I know how they feel before they tell what they really feel. Kinda exhausting anyways, but worth it. I tell them the best advice that I could give to them.
Do not go, with all of that, to a psychiatrist or therapist... this sounds all too keen to warn. But I do not,i.e. NOT, want to tell you how many Random Diagnoses I got, simply because of being a more or less conscious human being. Sorry to be forewarning like that...
I'm an INTJ, and I just started paying attention to you guys. It's so strange! But it feels wonderful. You do the same thing with people that we do with concepts and ideas. We park on them for a while. I call it the "cooking phase." And I don't mind the INFJ stare at all. It feels flattering. Like I'm the center of the universe. And although it SHOULD be creepy, it actually feels warm.
For me, people tend to open up a lot once we start conversing. I think it's because of what you said at the end, the attention I'm showing feels warm and inviting to them? I guess.
William Krapek- I'm legally blind and an INFJ, and when I talk with people I very much tend to focus on them like they're the center of the universe. Several things have occurred to me, do I focus so intently because I can't see much beyond to be distracted much by my surroundings or is it my personality that drives me to peer so deeply into what my counterpart is talking to me about that causes me to stare so deeply into their eyes? Perhaps my vision does take away from distractions, but I do feel it is more my personality, as I normally do feel a genuine interest in what is being said as long as it is not some shallow conversation, i.e. small talk. Just the same, good to know we aren't creeping everyone out with our soul-piercing stares. lol
Hmmm. Sometimes I don’t know why someone has snagged my attention almost involuntary until I finish analyzing the person. I’ve also noticed there are some that like my stare and the attention I give when they’re around me or are talking to me. If they ever hurt me or I’m mad at them I become so closed off and hurt that I’m not even able to look into their eyes at all. I then feel their restless energy energy almost like they’ll do anything to get that attention back. But I also need time to heal and it takes me a while to get back to that point where I’m comfortable and looking into their eyes again. Weirdo that I am.
Im INFP and have a similar piercing stare that ive been told is "intimidating and makes people feel like theyre about to burst into flames" lmao. I look around a lot when im in public, im a pretty observant person but when I really stare with the intention on figuring something out about someone, noticing tiny little cues or hints that that person is being fake and putting on a mask or telling a lie or something like that I can literally feel how uncomfortable it makes people when they know that I know. Its so hard to explain but it takes a special kind of person to really get something by me.
Justin K. I am still figuring myself out. Not sure infj or infp. Have qualitys of both. Funny thing is what makes me most comfortible around people is when i see inperfections, if they stunble words, backtrack or really bad at flirting. In a way it is sort of verification that, that is who they are and when i open up to them and they see mine i won't be judged. But im paranoid about showing inperfection in a fear of someone using it against me or laughing at me so i try to put out this perfect persona. So maybe other people are seeing that perfection and remain guarded, is why i have a very hard time socializing with people. I assume that they assume what i am thinking.. When i stare into eyes of women especially i see someone beautiful i come across as flirting with everyone lol.. and i kind of am when i see something i like in their eyes.. weird.
Just be careful. I thought I was extremely gifted with intuition. Well I am, but it doesn’t apply to all people. Psychopaths and narcissistic people will attract you and vice versa. My best friend is a narcissist. Well long story short I gave him another chance. He then lied to me for 6months straight about the stupidest shit. I can tell within minutes normally if your being superficial or real. He got me again. There are people wired differently just like INFJ’s. But they are evil most the time and opposites attract
Austin Murphy I am also dealing with a person just like that. A compulsive liar. I just can't understand why, the tendency to have to lie all the time. Been trying to stay away from him, but he's trying like hell to hold on to the relationship, for what purpose, I do not know.
The introverted intuition mixed with extroverted emotion is a curse sure, I’m saying that being an infj.... but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I’m secretly proud of it all. It’s hard for me to even understand how others don’t read each other like I do, I’d feel so detached from everything if I didn’t absorb the information and “vibrations” of others.
Nick Hyde I thought everyone could read each other like I do and that it’s a normal thing till I discovered that no one could pick up on the things that I could see so I just stopped trying to explain to them what’s happening and kept everything to myself and followed my gut
Yes. I starting accepting myself as a weirdo and I’m beginning to enjoy all the things that freaked me out and depressed me before. If someone sorta close to me calls me weirdo I would say I think you mean sexy lol. But I can only say that to someone if I know them lol.
I'm an INTJ so... I'm basically the same as this but with STUFF and not people, but I married an INFJ and I can say this is very correct. In an interesting way we complement each other well, I process stuff with fascination and her with people in fascination, we can bounce ideas off each other in a very observer like situation. She can look at me with those deep INFJ eyes, but in the same way she's fascinated with the things she gleams from me I'm fascinated in a person trying to read another with such fervor. Very interesting stuff!
When I was dating I would pick out the person I wanted to be with and stare at them. Every time, without fail, they would come over to me and start talking. If I liked them I would continue staring and they would ask me out. If I didn't I looked away and they would leave. Very wonderful superpower! Also, when I used to take public transportation I would not look at nasty troublemakers. I could feel the negativity oozing from them. They would not bother me, hence the INFJ invisiblity cloak...another superpower. Lol
I did this stare to a guy I just met last weekend. The first couple times were unintentional, but I learned how shy he was. He noticed me staring, got a huge smile and looked away embarrassed. It was so endearing that I kept doing it after that on purpose.
*high 5's ya*...ohh gawd!...i get that all the time too,...& im like...what?..cos i'm not transfixed in their blinding light or frozen with fear...lol!
Omg, the moment I clicked on this and heard your voice, it was super obvious that you were an INFJ. And the cool one, not the crazy one. Even tho all of you are a little crazy .. (ENFP) lol
Beautiful! I would love to be in a room full of INFJs. I feel like it would be a room full of amazing eyes. That’s what my husband tells me-I’m all eyeballs. I love your graceful explanation. I call it “the gaze”-because I had several friends use this term on me when I was a young adult. I even started a blog with that name in the late 90s (back when there were only like 10 blogs on the internet). I didn’t know my type back then but was trying so hard to make sense of myself, as I know INFJs are wont to do.
INTJs, too. I had INTJ results when I took the MBTI and thought I had found my tribe when I got onto an INTJ thread on the Internet. I have a lot in common with them. Recently realized I am actually an INFJ. Some of the other personality types find this topic boring, but not the ENFPs. They have a high level of curiosity, and it seems to be especially triggered by people who seem to be "inscrutable" to them. I just love it when ENFPs make comments on our threads. They're so cuuuuuuute, like friendly puppies.
It's also amazing to me that people think I'm expressionless when I know how in tune I am with everything. But yes - sometimes I have to consciously remember to integrate a facial expression to make others more comfortable haha!
Intimate or boring Stare--- A reason why most people think I'm judging them maybe because of the way I stare where in fact I was just observing everyone hahaha
Great video! Can you make a video on INFJ stuttering/jumbling words/having trouble putting words to our thoughts when interacting with people?(especially people that are strangers or acquaintances)
at times yes but what i feel is mostly my thoughts are just racing or going faster than my speech or what im currently talking to if that makes any sense....that to me is when i seem to stutter or jump over my words that the other person is starting to get confused.
I'm often told I look sad. But I'm just focusing or my mind is processing things while I'm off in another dimension (totally agree about the out-of-body comment)
They are uncomfortable mostly likely because they think you caught something they messed up on or forgot. The worst is when they call you out on it and ask if they missed something... and then "AHHH. " ... what do you say? Do you tell them what they missed if you did notice? As an extravert, I do for various reasons but that IS awkward. I have an ability to just sweep things under the rug and let the magic of my doubled dimpled smile distract them hopefully quick enough so I can get back to whatever I was doing in my head... You would be amazed how far the attitude of jedi mind trick of "it's no big deal" to others will get you ....as an introvert I imagine that would be soul crushing if you have not mastered that jedi mind trick. I also was very quickly made to sit in the very front row even though I always would choose the very back seat at first so at least I didnt have to see the others as the teacher called me out. I just got to feel their presence.
I’ve watched portions of your other videos. I’ll watch them all completely shortly. You understand well all of the INFJ “peculiarities”. I’ve struggled with them for 60 plus years. You will always struggle with them. It’s a matter of learning how adapt your outer “shell” while maintaining your inner sanity and pacem. You can make your way successfully through life. And be happy. You can do it. It’s possible. But you’ll have the same “internal” issues. Always. You remind me so very much of me at your age. I wish I could talk to you.
3:35 - 3:40 ''When we stare, sometimes we forget how we come across [to other people]'' - *this* is so SPOT ON. It took me a while to become aware of me doing this in social contexts
🔴 Here's another video you'll like: Unhealthy INFJ: 7 Signs You're an Unhealthy INFJ ruclips.net/video/AwATt5_nXNM/видео.html ⭐
Blaming other ppl...sabotaging..being perfect then a shell..then hateful that "goodness" is not reciprocated...covert narcs...self hatred masked behind split. Just a guess. Also....thinking i know it all...lol
People with Scorpio rising have a very intense stare. It can be intimidating for some people. It is like you can see straight through certain people and that's what is so intimidating and can freak some people out. That is my experience of having Scorpio rising in my Astrological birth chart.
Frank James 👋 so what’s an INFJ ? Or do I even want to know?? Thank you for a reply if you got the time much appreciated.. 🙏.
Frank James I never really thought of it like that!,I can read people easy even their next moves and puzzles I like it but damn didn't know were really rare!💯Love to all PEACE FROM GUAM💜🤙🏽
Keep being awesome
I wish people would just ask: "Are you flirting or are you an INFJ?"
That’s actually a really great pickup line
LetsSaboogi in certain situations you could reply with “both”
someone was like
"i like you."
"i don't like you back, i'm sorry i hope we can still be friends"
"but you were flirting with me"
"was i ??"
"yes, you were being super considerate"
"that's just my personality i dont have a choice"
Thats a really good pick up line 😅
@@crunchbucket3derham951 Which makes this line even better, because it opens the dialogue to the topic of MBTI types and psychology! I'd be excited if an attractive bloke asked me that. (Though, I may not divulge my type lol.)
The problem with my stare is when narcissist think I'm in love with them when I’m really trying to figure out where their inflated ego comes from.
This.
You should try listening to yourself speak sometimes you show a clear disgust for people with narcissistic traits, and yet you appear to believe all narcissists are in love with you? Ha. Ha. Ha.
@@NextGenBluePro lol I don't think you read this properly. I stated narcissist think I'm in love with them. Because they are usually so delusional.
Wildberry38 yeah generalised narcissists, presuming all of them want you, pretty narcissistic of you 🤔🤔
Are you blind? I never said that.@@NextGenBluePro
a lot of people confuse my stare with a sexual attraction when I'm just trying to figure out this bizarre creature.
LMAOOOO this comment explains my life 😭😭
jahahahahaah true. same here.
I've reduced the eye contact I make with people. Not only do I try to "read" them, I also won't forget them for a while .
Lmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaooooooooo
Yeah I experienced that too. Whats funny and scary is, I heard them discuss in their group of friends that Im sexualy attracted to them. Lol. And they are waiting for me to approach them and say what they want to hear. Hahajajajajajaj
I’ve been guilty of “the stare” my entire life and didn’t know why. I feel like a “normal” INFJ now.
we share the compultion to feel with our vision..
It’s really hard for me to understand how this isn’t how everyone functions.
Legit so hard!!
The Matadore that's how ik im an infj
@Vani S because it's naturally hard for me to give a crap. I've got books to read and often want the yappy things talking about the weather and sports to just go away. The INFJs are exciting because they really can talk about stuff that matters.
Same. It’s so weird. It’s to the point where I sometimes think, “couldn’t everyone develop the cognitive functions of an INFJ with time? How can people just be so unaware and still be.....people??” Haha, and I’m not asking this with a superior mindset, rather just in a truly perplexed state of mind. And I recognize that everyone else has gifts and abilities that I could only dream of having. The difference is that I recognize what everyone’s abilities are, but it seems weird that other people are just so unaware.
Anyone else listen to old melodies from the 60’S and 50s
Is it just me or does any other INFJ feel drained when they come home, like from work, school etc? I'm a barista and I'm constantly dealing with so many people with different personalities; I'm adapting and pretending, smiling and reading subconsciously. It's honestly so draining. I can literally feel myself staring and making connections even if I don't want to - which, I don't...But, I do anyway.
I connect so much and feel so exhausted when I get home. It's hard trying to explain to people who aren't like me why I'm always so tired.
I could not agree more! I am an INFJ and work as a barista at a Starbucks, and the hundreds of people I deal with on a daily basis is too much for me. I come home after talking with so many people and I honestly just crash.
I literally need to sleep for another 6 hours during the weekends after 5 days of school bcos of the interactions and having to talk
I can relate that’s why I skip quite a lot it just drains me .
I felt this on a spiritual level. Over time, I realized that I dont have the strength it takes to technically camouflage into a situation anymore. Its draining and takes an emotional toll on you. Lately, ive been taking personality tests again, and, despite the fact that it might not be 100% reliable, most of them literally say that im no longer an infj, and im starting to lean towards being an infp. Its weird, like being a shell if an infj and still relating to it, but im no longer spiritually strong enough of how tough it is to actually be an infj
same here ... and I've worked as a barista mate..I need help I always feel exhausted after a long period of socializing (work etc...) I dropped my job after 2 weeks for twice because of feeling exhausted by the smiling and interacting and replying to people I thought it's an abnormal anxiety cause I take medication for anxiety/depression but now... I get why !
Do any INFJ's have a habit of "spacing off" or having a faraway look all the time? Just because I'm taking in so much information and so inside my own head. In stores, I've often been asked if I'm looking for something in specific. No ma'am, just the meaning of life. lol
When I space out, it's either because I'm suffering input overload or I'm processing what I've taken in. The only other time I space out is when I'm eating something really delicious. :-)
I catch myself doing that. Most of the time it's in public and I have to tell myself "come back and look at something else" I will space out and be in my own thoughts and feels for like 5 minutes without knowing it.
Teachers used to think I was daydreaming in class and were surprised that I always had valuable things to say when they asked me questions. They thought I was daydreaming when I was just processing the information.
I have the same thing once in class a teacher asked me if i understood the subject she was talking about and i got confused because i did so after class i asked my friends why she asked me that and they said it looked like i was spacing off
I'm just buffering and blocking the white noise out - it's kinda comforting :)
0:41 the way he said "i know things" was absolutely the most INFJ way of saying it... just his tone. We all *know* he knows things.
"I just realized something" is something I end saying too
Everyone teases me when I say I know. Because most of the time I do know....but people tend to think I don't know and underestimate me....
@@OuterWorldMovement they probably think that way because we dont actually tell it cause its hard to explain so we just keep it to ourselves
@@trishaflaviano3944 yes exactly like I can’t explain it for some reason like it’s in my brain but I can’t explain it it’s pretty annoying
@@OuterWorldMovement If we said "I know" everytime we know, we'd end up saying it wayyyyy too many times...does that make sense??
as an introvert, I hate staring at people, when I'm talking about my experiences I'm looking everywhere but into someone's eyes yet when I listen it's like a STARING CONTEST... WTF.
You described it perfectly
Yeah this is it
Hmm I have a theory. I think that this happens because when we are trying to word what were thinking about, we can't really make eye contact because we need to focus on saying what were saying instead of absorbing the other person's energy, but when were listening all were doing is listening.
Boluwatiwi Ogunye This is how I intuitively perceived it as. 👏🏻
You should read “The Introvert Advantage”. The author discusses this tendency for introverts to need to look away from people when talking so that we can focus on communicating our thoughts.
The takeaway is that infj’s are really interested in infj’s.
frontlinepdx, obviously you are not in the club. If you were, you would know he pain of being alone your whole life, no one understanding or validating you. And since we are homebodies, the internet is an easy place to find us because we are spread out and in hiding. If you are trolling, you better look somewhere else.
Z P I have watched a few videos on this subject because I suspect that I am one of these people. I’m also a stubborn asshole so I kind of don’t care about the club or labels in general (I’m still not sure what a gamma is). I believe in the uniqueness of the individual pretty strongly, and the power of the will. I don’t mean to troll or torment honest, good people, but I can, and will, if I want. Be well, sir, or madame, if you chose to.
I didn’t take it that frontlinepdx is trolling. It has been a pain that no one else interested in the abstract, feely stuffs I’d like to talk about. I don’t like interacting with extroverts, so therefore, you’re right. My best dating experience has been with another INFJ. I wouldn’t mind dating an Infp, though.
As an INFJ I am definitely interested in others so identified. Helps me understand myself better. But it’s also because I care about others and am delighted there are others.
I am trying to understand how I am similar and also different from others who apparently approach life the same way I do. Just to realize this is a style not unique to myself has been quite enlightening - and I feel an affinity with Frank and other INFJ channels just because I get it. I've been there.
I am 68 now and I've gone through most of the painful stages of having this personality profile -
of loneliness which has now become aloneness -
of not having understood why I must maintain distance and remain away from the center - to now embracing that distance because it preserves freedom -
Of having no real self acceptance because I never measured up to my own standards to now having
embraced my own individuality.
I am now learning more about how I am wired. And that's major cool. Also I find some fellowship in the fact I can affirm other INFJs who are wired in the same way.
For me though, my journey of finding a way out of the mess and a way through to life really began when I found faith in Jesus Christ. That is an immediate change but also a long term process of growth ... And one begins then to ascertain where one fits into the overall scheme of things. The why am I here bit.
And I keep wondering if I will ever come across another INFJ in one of these discussions who has also found that particular path/ and that answer.
For me, it is central. But it does not seem to be common.
And I find that perplexing, for we are seekers of truth.
In time, I trust I will find the answer even to this. But regardless, I will go on.
Thanks Frank and others who have shared their heart-felt insights.
Carol , Hello I usually don’t ever comment, however I feel as though I need to say something to you. I believe deeply in my heart (I’m not sure if its the absolute purpose), that God has called me to a certain path, and I know the things he wants me to do. Btw, I’m also an INFJ. 🌸
I find that people who i just meet tell me their darkest secrets, I like to listen but feel drained afterwards, like their pain is my pain.
stylememaria yes. As they’re telling the story I’m hurting like it’s fresh and even when I see a fresh hurt I hurt in my chest like a heart break. It’s crazy. I literally feel other people’s pain. It’s why we protect ourselves a lot from getting close to people. Bleeding heart and all.
I have often experienced this. Total strangers seem to come up and tell me their childhood traumas. It's not boring.
@@thatsfunny2051 Same. I genuinely care about people and their problems even if I don't know them.
Oh, this is very accurate.
That's why I can't tell others my dark stories. I don't want to make anyone feel as I feel.
My INFJ stare can mean anything from “I am seeing you right to your soul” to “I am analyzing you on various levels” to (mirroring mode) “Omg. How ridiculous. Look at yourself” to “I am not even here right now, but I am very much aware of what is going on around me”, etc. Gotta love our versatility. 🤷🏾♀️
Is that why I don't like eye contact? It feels too intimate and weird for the other person and I can totally feel that come back at me. Sometimes people think it's flirting.
Instantly feel off or awkward when eye contact is made, hard to explain to others why I don’t make eye contact
I hated eye contact as a kid. Maybe I subconsciously knew it would cause me to know nore than I felt like knowing but generally it was uncomfortable for me, like I was shameful. Maybe because it would open a whole new world, who knows, but I gradually made myself used to it so that I could look directly at people, but I generally do feel more comfortable when I don't gotta. There's been a few times I have resisted the urge to stare down a stranger and read them as well bc eventually they could notice. Oh dear.
Weird. It’s hard to continually make eye contact in a conversation. I always heard you should look a person in the eye when you’re talking to them because you can’t trust someone who won’t “look you in the eye”. But I find myself looking away because I’m trying to process what I’m about to say. I know all the right words and ideas are there but spitting them out correctly is a chore for me. I hate to stumble over words and much prefer to write or type what I need to say.
@@frankbennett6012 This can also be true. I'm simply more comfortable looking away half the time, sometimes I use whatever I'm doing at the moment as an excuse to not look at the person at all. I also have a hard time saying what I want to the way I want to. Sometimes I can't even socialize unless I stop thinking and blurt out whatever comes to mind at the moment but then I can relax bc I put aside the pressure of getting them to understand then Iater I can more easily break down a new thought and feed it to them more leisurely like a baby bc I naturally analyze how they percieve things. Lol
@@frankbennett6012 I feel the exact same way. I prefer to type or write to better say what I want to say. And person to person convos I'm always reminding myself to look at them in the eyes, or its rude or the person doesn't thinks it's that sincere of a convo, I get self-confidence about that but then looking in their eyes is even more uncomfortable. 😂
When your staring at a teacher in class and you know they're wondering if your confused or not. So you focus on changing your facial expression, but end up not obtaining the information.
No just me?
Definitely not just you.
Same here
I agree
yup, and mostly with my boss..
Mara pooh not just u lmao my science teacher is always asking me if i understand bc i stare too long im just trying to absorb the info tho
I can figure a person’s agenda with a glance at their eyes...but can’t remember their name to save my life unless I see something exceptional in them.....
This!!
I agree, what's up with that??
I feel you :|
Same lol
that's right!
So many of my friends have looked at me and were concerned like "Are you ok?" And I'm like "Yeah, why?" And they're like "You look sad" or "You're just staring off into the distance" and I'm just like "Yeah, no I was just thinking don't worry about it"
this!! i've heard this so much that i've come to accept that i probably have resting sad face haha
Yep, same here. A few people said that I look like I'm plotting to murder someone.
My best friend of 15 years still has not figured out that I'm totally fine and I'm just thinking when I stare off.
I asked my husband what I look like when my face is resting and he said the same thing! He said you just look sad. 😆
Then your mom says you're on drugs... and you're like, "Mom, all I wanted was a Pepsi!"
Whenever I stare at people in a convo I often make up my responses in my head but never say them, so sometimes I assume I told someone something but in actuality I just thought it, it's frustrating!
Katy Plays Sims yeah I did this especially when I was taking college courses ( my brain was everywhere). My friend was like “ did you hear me” and I said “yeah you didn’t hear my answer” she stared at me and said “ I didn’t see your mouth move this whole time”. It’s embarrassing.🙃
Yes! I do this with my husband all the time. We've been married 16 years, so he knows how goofy and weird I can be.
omg SAME
Dude yes 😂
My ex bestfriend used to be so frustrated with me. She would say I only replied to 3 things she said out of 10. And I would be like what are you talking about I replied you. She would say scroll up and I would and be like I swear I thought of all the responses but apparently never typed it out. Sigh.
I often forget I have a face.. and every time I look in the mirror, l could never get used to my face. Isn’t that odd? Does this happen to anyone?
yes sometimes i forget what i look like and get shocked when i look into the mirror because i remember
@@ted5871 Lmaoo right. Sometimes I feel like my face changes with my mood. Like if I'm feeling myself and have been hyping myself up all day I look in the mirror and am like damn! I'm really that beautiful. And when I feel insecure I'm like damn do I really look that busted. We're honestly such little weirdos but I love it
Once I got up from the couch and thought why do I have legs and then I realized it's to get my organ bag from one room to the other.
Maybe it's best to not remember you have a face
There's this comedian,John Mulaney in one of his segments said sth along the lines of "I don't know what my body is for other than taking me from room to room.."that hit hard.I'm forever feeling like i have sb else's body,face esp.I rarely look at myself in the mirror cuz it's scary af.
I had my stare even when I was younger, it made people really uncomfortable. I was this cute little blonde girl with pigtails and a death stare, my parents called it my “owl look.”
Hahaha, I would love to see a picture.
@@marilon a curious INFJ mind... I see lol
lol that's cute and also fitting on multiple levels. "Owl look".
When I'm listening to someone I don't know very well and I'm fully engaged, I see in their expression that my eye contact is unnerving them.
I get distracted by their discomfort because I don't want them to feel uncomfortable, so I try to meter it out and look away every so often. But it feels SO unnatural and I'm putting so much energy into regulating how I look at them that I'm no longer listening properly and I'm worried that they either: think I'm bored, or: can see the whole inner turmoil on my face. It's awkard.
oh myyyy, same!
yes!!! I'm talking with my friend but after a while it's weird i stop hearing them and just look at their face how it moves. shit hahah
Oh my god my everyday life
this is totally truee, i've experienced it myself :
Same
“Has anyone ever told you that you stare into their soul”
That's all I get
Yes
Yes, I've been told that.
Yes.
Every time!
“INFJ’s don’t often feel like they’re ‘in their bodies’...” WHAT IS THIS?! This is me, all-the-time, but I’ve never been able to describe it - or God forbid tell anyone else about it - and I’d love to know what “this” is... I almost dropped my phone when I heard you say that.
Stellar Celeste Dissociation. A coping mechanism made is defense against traumatic experiences probably made worse by the fact that ONFJs think too much instead of living and feeling in the moment. I did this and am still working on it because it’s a difficult habit to break. Also, I am an INFJ as well
We have worked out long ago , that the "I" is not really my body. The real "I" is my mind. That inner dialogue is so exciting and interesting! Sure I stare, but it doesn't take a mature INFJ to sum up a person really fast, and see exactly where they fit into the overall human pattern.
Also an INFJ mine specifically is depersonalisation - partially thanks to my brain's coping mechanism for anxiety and also partially because I tune out from situations while I'm observing so it feels like 'I' am not there or rather that I am watching the situation through a TV screen in my head and am removed from it all. Super freaky when I had it full on but a lot easier to manage now that I can give it a name
I’ve discovered that doing these things isn’t healthy. Our minds are interesting places but when I’m in the thick of a depressive episode it’s really unwise to let my brain wander. It’s important to try to live in reality and let our intuition exist as a part of ourselves but not be our entire selves. And not dive into our mind palaces alone too often.
Dissociation
Less than genuine folks aren’t always very comfy around us INFJs
Rightfully unrightfully rightfully so
This is because we can tell bullshit. If nothing to hide. Nothing to fear. If they cant look at you... Be concerned
Facts
@@NJ-wb1cz i have no idea half of what you are saying. But the infj and the 16 personality thingi. Its like the same as the constilation people. Its dumb. Besides for a guy who is an infj and introverted and "hidden" inside or what ever they call it. He has a lot to show on the room that tells me a lot about him. His telling people. Read me cuz im that easy to read
@@SZ-jr8pt just read your reply because someone upvoted mine. I've since learned a lot more about INFJs, and now I realize that there was absolutely zero chance of my comment being understood by anyone but _some_ INFPs with extremely underdeveloped Fe and overdeveloped Fi. INFPs and INFJs have fundamentally different understanding what "reading" is, and it has a fundamentally different place in our value system - and I seem to be on a far side of that spectrum. I don't use it to feel better than someone, or to invade someone's head, or to place myself above someone, or to manipulate someone (the very concept is completely foreign and absurd to me) or anything like that, it's the _only_ way for me to see. It's _without it_ I'm absolutely blind and can easily be a total asshole to others without realizing it.
For me it's not the difference between knowing how to manipulate and abuse a person or not (which is what INFJs tend to assume and guard against), it's the difference between seeing a person with all their feelings and needs as if they were me and trying to make them feel better, or not seeing them and treating them like they don't have any needs and feelings. In the latter case I have to constantly and purposefully change my behavior to try to be more humane towards them "manually", and it's annoying, draining and artificial, and I tend to eventually mistreat them here and there anyway.
I've deleted it to prevent further misunderstanding..
ps. I view MBTI from purely utilitarian perspective and it does help me understand myself and others better. Whatever helpful is helpful, and discarding it altogether just because it's a completely manufactured idea just doesn't seem smart to me - my own assumptions and mindsets are also manufactured ideas, and stealing some mindsets of others seems like a nice cheat to save on effort and profit off of other people's experience.
Wow, Frank James old videos were like he's going to kill someone. What a change.. 😅
Like the longer hair though.
That why people hate me,now l know... infjs thing's
In 3 years voice changed 😄😄
I love these videos so vintage FJ
Well in his new videos he is more used to and trusts the people more
So yea
INFJ thing
The part about not feeling like you're in your body - I didn't know that was an INFJ thing! Glad it's not just me.
Leslie - I didn't either. It was quite a relief to find out it's normal.
Kristen Cobb my god, I would fucking LOVE to just be an observer lol.
Leslie What is this?! I ALWAYS feel like I’m almost a passenger alongside of my mind’s eye and that I’m not really “in” my body. There will be times when I’m actually astounded that I’m doing whatever it is at the time because I feel like I’m just “not there” mentally. It sounds so crazy when I say it aloud but I’m so curious about this!
OMG when I was 7, I was like "Who am I" to my mum. She cpudlng answer it
Same, honestly!
i like that your videos don't have that "oh we are so mystical, oh we are so rare" vibe that a lot of INFJ videos have
totally agree fallbackin16!
That's because he's a real infj >.>
I love the sound effects! It's like 'magical rainbows' then he throws the card like 'Go fuck yourself' LMAO
Yes!! That's why I'm also trying to make my own videos... Issa small pet peeve
I don't think we are really that rare
Your videos make me laugh out loud! You have the driest humor...it's on point.
I've dry humor also. ;~*****
HAhahahahahahahahahahahah
Same, infj too
I also burst out laughing lol.. it might be an INFJ thing cause I'm the same.
I like his sense of humor. It's as dry as unbuttered toast.
My mom: Why are you taking so long in the bathroom
Me: 👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️ *cannot stop reminding myself of how my face looks*
nah deadass its so weird looking at my own face????
This is why I think Dumbledore was an INFJ, Harry often said his gaze over his half moon spectacles made him feel as though he were being x-rayed.
I've read somewhere that JK Rowling sees Dumbledore as an INFJ :) She is said to be INFJ as well.
As a fellow INFJ, can I just say that Dumbledore was my most hated character in the series? Like, I dislike him even more than Umbridge and Voldemort and Petunia.
Am I the only one? 😣
@@puterinurin3248 Wait, why do you hate Albus Dumbledore?
@@theutopianist33 From my point of view, he had been an integral factor and manipulator that led to Tom and Harry's circumstances.
1. He alienated and scrutinized Tom Riddle because of his moral code of "Slytherin's descendants are bad". The moment Dumbledore realized that Tom could speak to snakes, he was immediately cold and highly suspicious of Tom's every move. As Tom was a developing child, I have reason to believe that Dumbledore's authority and constant suspicion had been a massive contributor of his descent to Voldermort.
2. He advocated abuse and mistreatment, for a good long-term cause. Dumbledore had been aware of the Dursleys' abuse of Harry. Evidence: Hogwarts letter was addressed to Cupboard Under The Stairs. The only reason that I can think for an INFJ to allow abuse is if they believe that it would make a person better in the long run. As shown, Harry was bedazzled by the wizarding world after years of abuse, believing that everything Dumbledore said and did was good and right. This helped Dumbledore to create a malleable hero.
Another case would be Sirius Black. It was obvious in Prisoner of Azkaban: Dumbledore knew that Sirius had been innocent the whole time. I mean, Dumbledore was the one who hinted at Harry to save his godfather. So why didn't he take action thirteen years ago and stand for Sirius's innocence? The only answer that I can arrive to is: If Sirius was free, he would have had contest over Harry's guardianship rights (as a godfather), which would screw up Dumbledore's plan of raising a malleable hero.
But that's just my opinion. 😌
I've always said I had a staring problem and honestly wasn't aware of how common it was amongst our personality type. Thank you!
people who are aware get intimated, I been jokingly told by new people I meet that I'm a person to be feared because I observe everything so intensely.
I have a staring problem too!! so funny.
Same here. All the people around me tell me I stare too much.
Destiny Hungate I don’t have a staring problem at all. I can stare just fine. 😂
Same!
I'm an INFJ, and I don't know if this is gonna sound really weird or not, but while he's explaining what introverted intuition is, I instantly, already knew exactly what he means by the "INFJ stare", before he even started talking about it
Jacob van der Ende i was hoping he wasn’t gonna talk about what I’m thinking he was gonna talk about because I am guilty of the INFJ stare
My husband is INFJ and I instantly knew. My husband does this and I know that stare well.
Sometimes i even stare at the wall when im thinking and my family freaks out every time they see me. Thinks im losing my shit but im just organizing my thoughts. And for myself staring at people, its the same thing. They get awkward with me when they stare back and i smile not to look creepy but i end up creepy more because of the smile. Hahaha. It usually happens when a person is speaking and am listening and figuring them out and when they look at me, i smile or have a staring contest and they end up not looking at me anymore. Hahahah
Yoo Kyungwan staring at the wall! Guilty as well!!! Hahaha, I used to stop with the bread halfway in the air from my mouth while getting ready for school to develop some idea. Used to drive mom crazy, she thought I was ready to pass out or something.
Same!
I’m sure we have all heard, “when you look at me it’s like you are scanning my soul”...”your eyes are amazing!”...”when you look at me I feel I could tell you anything”...”I feel like I have known you forever”...”you listen so well”...”are you a physic “
I never knew this was an infj thing
I'm a psycho
@@eisenhower9069 well good for you then lol
Omg so true
this means u met alot of people because I cant relate as I stay in most of the time
This is why I am very careful with my eye contact, I have realized that a lot of people tend to get intimidated by it, and I can feel that my lingering eye contact is somewhat intense.
Unfortunately, I can't stop reading people when I look at them, It's out of my control, I collect everything, and I think that people notice that, which can make the whole thing pretty awkward for them.
So I often limit my eye contact - thinking that it will make the other person more comfortable, the only time I go for full eye contact is when I'm interacting with individuals I feel can handle it well, in those cases it's really no problem at all. But those are rare individuals..
Use sharingan.lol jk.i use byakugan
Exactly!!
furthermore ....i end up possibly weirding out "normals " by doing the same - limiting eye contact....thinking , well , they wont then get the death stare ....but it usually ends up weirding them out as they pick up i am possibly hiding something or cant look at them and make them feel relaxed ......very odd .
Any INFJ's that randomly talk to them selves in a mirror and notice their own facial expression,admiring how cute they are and wink?
no?
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
just me then.
😲are you watching me at home? I do that all the time 😁
I would have never thought I'd read a comment like this. 😳 It is indeed true for me ahahah
no.
I practice facial expressions in the mirror... but I’m also autistic lol
Fuck that's me
The first time I became aware of my stare (as you described it), was when a teacher stopped a class and asked if I was confused because I had a strange stare on my face. I was simply taking it all in.
Relatable! When I ask a question in class, the teacher will explain it and the whole time I'm trying to look like I'm actually listening to the answer when in reality I'm FIGHTING not to read into the teacher while they're talking to me. Then 99% they will follow up with a skeptical look and say "does that make sense?" And I always say yes of course cause I dont want to go through it again. That's why I avoid asking questions. 😓
Once my teacher in class noticed my stare and asked me about it in front of the whole class. I wasn't even aware that i was staring at him the whole time. It was embarassing!
SAME. our teacher has the tendency to just roam around the classroom while explaining a concept. everyone else would be staring at the board where the slides are and i would just stare at the teacher while she’s explaining. everytime she catches me staring, she completely stops mid-sentence and say “huh, are you okay? did you understand that? what’s wrong?” because i apparently look as if i’m going to butcher someone but in reality i’m just trying to let the information soak.
@@crownedone8837 this (the fight) never seems to cease.
@@urmama54 Keep staring at teachers. It's fine! if they hate it and get uncomfortable, the stock answer is "I'm looking at you when you are talking to me. It would be rude and ignorant, to ignore you".
My dad always told me I was the one person he could never figure out and a lot of my classmates said I was the hardest person to read out of everyone in our grade. I thought something was wrong with me. But a few days ago I randomly watched a video on infj personality traits and then did a personality test. It all makes sense now. It was actually a huge relief to know that it’s not some kind of mental illness or something
I've been told I'm hard to read, too. I find that odd, because I feel like I wear my heart on my sleeve.
@@arleneshanley9889 yes I feel the same way
Honestly, it feels like every personality type is a mental illness. As an ENTP, I have ADHD and have some narcissistic traits but not enough to be diagnosed. I literally feel like this world was made for ISFJ (nurse) or ESFP (cool girl) women and the top 4 most common personality types for men.
Same dude, same
My whole life I felt misunderstood and I didn’t feel anybody could “get”me, and when I opened up to someone they always called me an exaggerated person or weird in a bad way and I needed to change. I thought I had a mental problem , and recently I didn’t know who I was until a friend ( she is an INFP and the only one who kind of understands how I feel) of mine showed me the personality exam, resulting in INFJ, and with some research and patience I felt identified and relived that INFJ’s exist and it’s not some illness, now I’m actually happy bc I feel like I am not alone anymore and accept me as who I am, I feel like home :D
I don't know but as infj sometimes I do feel like there is some energy coming from my eyes
Bipolar Bear oh like when you have an eye contact with someone and time just slow down for couple seconds? 😂 I want to know what you mean
@@noriii971 yes kinda...I have the same thing,it's hard to explain its like a force or energy that comes from ur eyes and from eye contact U can tell the person ur having eye contact ,if ur angry,sad,flirty.etc. by just looking at them,well that's what I think and feel.and I also feel like they understand what im trying to tell them through eye contact!
@@OuterWorldMovement THATS EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE AND IM AN INFJ TOO
@@biggiecheese1378 👌🙂
Bro lmao , this is so true
And THIS is why its complicated when two INFJ:s talk to each other 😁😂
Lea Sand Virtual mental ping-pong game.
BigDaddy Chief I would argue that each is pinging the other and each receives its pong, however, will each receive an accurate pong?
Do they touch eyeballs?
we have mental conversations lmao
Two of my kids- my daughter (24 yrs) and son (20) and I are all INFJs and it's not complicated at all. We all know instantly where we are coming from and are usually on the same page- if not we can get to the same page with only a word of two. It's uncanny.
Coming from an enfp presently crushing on an infj, I think it's easier for you guys to be "ignored" in a group because you guys seem to "allow" everyone to go ahead of you out of sheer politeness. It's this maturity of yours that people seem to overlook and it makes you appear as a pushover( which you're not💖)or "easily forgettable" but enfp catches on to this.😏💖
I wish all ENFP's were like you XD
chelade17 people call me a pushover all the time ugh, I swear the only people who seem to understand are online
People think I'm a pushover until I check them on their behavior - then they tend to be shocked. 😁
r/niceguys
You sound like Kylo Ren degrading Rey.
I have trained myself to always smile when I'm around people, especially when I'm listening to them talk. That way they don't find me creepy. :)
I should learn that too
Mr too :'D it gets exhausting at some point my face starts to cramp
Hahahaha this comment make me laugh because I imagine myself being concentrated and trying to smile. Even creepier.
I would find a constant smile creepy. :D Seriously. I was talking to a woman one time about the pagan roots of some practices in Christian holidays and she kept smiling and saying, "How interesting." Then she talked about me behind my back to a friend, and they both figured that I had slipped over the line from genius into insanity. I was so mad about her phoniness, encouraging me to talk when all the time she thought I was nuts. By the way, I am not a genius. I just happened to have read books a lot more than her and that other lady.
Me too!
Another thing, sometimes people think we're all zoned out and cold but sometimes my thoughts are so loud that I don't know what I actually said and what I didn't say. So then I take a step back and realize how closed off I seem to others.
EXACTLY. I'm one of this INFJ.
Glad to know. They were someone like me.
Lol yes!
Me too. I think. Did I say that ? Or think that. Lol
Going thru the same trouble, then i ask if I spoke english to them or not. 😂 Now they think im crazy lol.
Oh this hit home
You have typical INFJ sense of humor. I love it and laughed out loud. . So quit staring. I DID put my name tag on, dammit.
How the fuck do you explain to someone having injf, a fucked up government and spina bifida. Excuse the "French"
@@Stefan-ql1ms what
@@Stefan-ql1ms hahahaha what the fuck is this comment lmao
Fellow INFJ here. 30 seconds in and I'm hooked. Subscribed.
Ha. Its funny i do that half smirk smile too. Might be an infj thing lol
ditto
I've gotten that at 40+, after seeing a lot of things. I'm just in receiving mode; the processing happens later, when I'm alone
I lied. Im just a very intelligent istp
One interesting thing though is istps and infjs can get along incredibly well. I have a couple infj friends that helped me distinguish
But for any naruto fans out there, kisame and itachi were an istp/infj pair. They were the only members of akatski to actually become friends
psst give m ur instagram i swear i will send u hugs
Sometimes when I speak with someone I have to be like: Okay look at them. Okay now look away for a few seconds. Nowwwww look back just so they don't think I'm acting weird or staring at them lol
INFJ too. Friends and family know that I daydream a lot and end up staring at them. My secret is that I'm not actually absent-minded at all :| It's simply easier to fall back on than explaining.
could be mistaken for a mild seizure too lololol
Same ,..
@@tslilbearshoppe9870 omg I almost choked from laughter at your comment 😂😂😂
That's me ALL DAY!
I do the same I live in California, so I just tell people I'm zoned out
People say that my power is - "Death by disapproving look"
Infj special traits and power are kinda psychic ability to read one's mind an aticipated action of words their going to say or act. Then we could be prepared fast in that moment. And the gut or intuition feeling love that ability to feels what will happend next. Love it .
lol ya my sister tells me that I "throw the most shade with my mouth closed"
Wow.
This is revolutionary.
My stare has been misunderstood as flirtatious by some, a deep sense of admiration by some, an attempt to figure people out by some, and deemed uncomfortable by others.
It all makes sense.
People often think I have a question to ask them or that I'm confused. When really I'm not confused at all and just observing lol
I'm an INFJ, but my stare is different because of personal issues. I have a hard time maintaining eye contact cause it makes me uncomfortable from past emotional/verbal abuse. I'm also deaf, so I automatically watch people's mouths while they're talking, either spoken English or in sign language. The more comfortable I am with someone, the more eye contact I'll make. I'm still paying attention even though I'm not looking directly at someone, my deafness means hyper-aware through vision.
I have a hard time with eye contact as well, but when I was younger I thought everyone else could "read" people too, so I think mine started as a self defense tactic.
I'm 58 now and you've just explained my whole life - Thank you
My family tells me I look so angry when I'm just staring lol
Theo Paul people have been saying that since i was in 6th grade
Same here
Me too....ill be happy and look mad.
And I've been told for my whole life🙈
Hahaha same here, I'm always misinterpreted by the way I stare.. Because they think I'm angry or being grumpy will infact I'm just thinking having this mini debate in my head hahaha
When you realize you're intently staring at the video and analyzing Frank while he talks because that's just what INFJs do
Like the one gray hair and the other piece of hair that keeps wanting to attach itself to his face? That the spots on his shirt were, in fact, not bleach?
I frequently move the screen up on my laptop when watching MBTI videos because the accompanying clips they show are distracting or the person is just sharing information and they aren't as interesting as Frank. Sometimes he's annoying with his exaggerated way of talking and moving, but I understand it is to keep his audience from nodding off to sleep or changing the channel because they are bored.
SpongeBob: “Frank, what are you doing?”
Frank: “Focusing”.
🤣🤣🤣
Lmao!
The stare is so relatable... I tend to stare into people's eyes when i'm having a conversation with them until i get a weird stare back from them which makes me realise that its time to shift my gaze elsewhere. This makes me feel really uncomfortable because i don't want them to think i am rude or get creeped out, because neither am i rude nor am i creepy. It's really difficult when you have got a big pair eyes. Sometimes i just wanna wear shades all day, all night just so that no one can see who i'm looking at. Sometimes i just don't want to look at people, sometimes i just too scared to have an eye contact and so i avoid it.
Omg..hah sameee
:)
omg..!! :D
Kim girl same!
do you also feel like you can tell what someone thinks about you or whether or not someone likes you just by being around that person and looking into their eyes? damn it's like you can look into their souls!! Maybe that IS why people get uncomfortable around us INFJs because they're scared we would read their minds!!! I believe INFJs possess a very strong and accurate intuition.
As a fellow INFJ, your eye contract is throwing me off.
"There can only be one" lmao.
😂😂😂😂👏
Eye contract lmfao
I find myself starting at people when they're talking or in a group; but whenever I'm sharing, I can hardly look anyone in the eyes. Not sure if it's too much incoming stimuli to focus on what I'm trying to communicate or if it's more trying to keep my intimate little box of self hidden away.
Girl, same.
Yup same for me lol
Me too me too!!
When I see someone new who seems like a phony or possibly evil, time seems to slow down as I’m analyzing them. When I think back I can remember every nuance of their expressions. To me it’s almost dreamlike.
Jane Marinelli this is so true. I feel people’s vibes. And I’m reading every single micro expression. It’s crazy lol. I often think CIA and FBI needs is more as analysts lol.
While reading your comment I imagined it like a scene from a movie.
omg i know exactly what ur talking about. i definitely do that too !
LOL! "Not because we are interested in having very close relationships but just because we're interested in people and interpersonal dynamics." So very true, I couldn't have said it better. Totally explains the extroverted feelings I had when I was younger, I was simply trying to understand human nature through social interactions.
Yeah, that "Not because we are interested in having very close relationships but just because we're interested in people and interpersonal dynamics" statement was right on. With a lot of people, just regular people, a 15 minute conversation with them is enough for me. And some, a lot less than that.
Now everyone thinks I am flirting with them🤦🏻♀️
😂 same, I would just be in my headspace, and then realise I was staring at someone
True I watch everything. Eyes, nose, mouth anything on that face I’m studying. It makes it seem like you’re into them or something lol. Smh.
I am supposedly an ENTP and I am genuinely interested and curious about people. So I go up to them and start a conversation. And guess what. Sometimes this behavior of mine is interpreted as flirting. Especially by introverts.
@@blackdiamond4001lol same.
i am an INTJ if i stare at someone i just stare at a problem (it could be in a bad or a good way if they are the problem that's bad if their personality is interesting like a math problem now their good) if i dont you wont even notice me lol
"INFJs sometimes forget they're in their bodies." Yes. I have to remind myself I'm not at home watching TV when I'm in public watching people.
Now I understand Why Guys Think I am Flirting with them .. When Actually i am just Taking information or maybe their Stupidity Rendered me Speechless.! 🤣🤣
Sonal Raikwar
They think you're undressing them with your eyes. Lol I have the same dilemma.
Exactly!!
LOL! Yep!
Sonal Raikwar finally someone understands!!!
YeSS this is such a big problem!!!
I just recently realized that I was an INFJ and I’ve been staring at people for as long as I can remember!!! I think what bothers me the most is when people don’t look back at me, I feel like they’re hiding something. But when people do look back at me, I’m like 👁👄👁
i find the greatest connections are made with the eyes.
Soul Sloshing!
People often say that when I look in their eyes, I am looking into their souls, and many cannot maintain eye contact with me.
Ahahah yes my uncle has the same thing.its the energy ur putting and ur intense face expressions,what U could do is to just calm down and don't worry about looking at them just look at they're eyes as if it's a object or something
I had to work a lot on my self confidence to hold eye contact, and don't have much trouble with it nowadays.
But oh boy you should see me when I'm drunk with a nice person. Confidence + Curiosity makes me stare endlessly into the eyes of the person I'm talking to. I'm absorbed by the conversation, like they become my whole world for a while. I enjoy it, and them seeing I only care about them makes them happy. It's nice.
I usually force myself to look into the eye while im listening to others but when i have to talk i cannot bc my thoughts drive away my eyes i literally cant contol it :0
I’m always in my head thinking and staring and sometimes I forget I’m in a world where there’s people around me. One time this boy told me that I look depressed all the time.
😂🤣😂🤣
Oreo Lover my mentor who has helped me a lot with the look thing. Said I looked always have this look sorta like a wet puppy looking for love or something. I was like what? I’m not doing anything. He told me he knew I wasn’t aware. It’s all the feelings and pain and what not.
R N The feeling and pain? Explain please:)
Must people think i, angry or just hating on people when in reality i'm just stuck in my head eithout realizatiln of the Real world aja
i’m an infj, and this is the first video i’ve seen of yours. weird thing is, i cannot understand whatever’s going on with me right now. you have such a familiar energy, and it’s so strong that’s freaking me out...
i know right...god im so confused
You clearly an infj if you talkin about energy hehe
I know right
god same like i only have one other friend who is also an infj other than me and aa
I get people’s vibes all the time. I tend to keep people at arm’s length. One time I was at a store and there was a guy behind me and I wasn’t even looking at him I was looking at the cashier and all of a sudden my senses just went haywire and I froze like what’s happening cause I had this horrible feeling and I turned and saw the guy running out. He shoplifted. I picked up the bad energy from him somehow even though I totally wasn’t paying attention to him. This happens with people I meet too. Weird.
Sometimes when I see someone’s true colors in their eyes it makes ME uncomfortable and I have to look away. It’s like I am afraid I can’t conceal the horror in my expression. I’m the one left feeling too vulnerable, too exposed. I would like to be the kind of person that doesn’t look away.
I remember when I was a kid, I asked my father this question "have you ever experienced this thing when you just stare-off somewhere and it feels as if you lose all your surroundings and you're just in your head?" He answered: "you are just staring-off mindlessly" I replied: "no it's something different" but I still couldn't explain it myself back then. Now that I'm older I kind of understand it. I'm not just blankly staring-off somewhere. I may look like that but actually I'm looking inside my mind and trying to decipher whatever thoughts are circling inside it at the moment while automatically absorbing additional info from the outside world. Like I'm here but actually not. That's the best explanation I can muster. I know you guys understand
I think we call it mindlessly but I think all peopel that do that actually are in their own worlds or are there peoople that actually do it mindlessly?
I don't stare off into space when other people are around, but I spend a lot of time alone and lie in bed for a long time, thinking about stuff. I've seen my son stare off into space. His personality is a lot like mine. One time when he was a teenager, he was sitting at the counter of the restaurant where I worked, staring off into space. The owner's daughter said to her mother, "What's the matter with him, staring like that?" The mother bear in me came roaring out and I snapped at her, "What's it to you? He isn't hurting anyone!" She backed off right away. It probably gave her quite a shock because I usually have a mild temper.
2:57 this the most INFJ thing ive heard
*makes slight joke about used book stores that is not rlly offensive*
"i hope any employees in used book stores are not offended-"
I've always had people say I have a staring problem, throughout my life.
I can't help it. This is the way it really is.
Me too 😂
I think I'm in love
Kat Marie lol
Me too
babsi boo Me three..he just.... gets me..lol
i thought i was the only one lmao
Omg I said the almost the very same thing read my comment lmafo
@ducky momo who needs to know each other we got name tags remember lmao
Literally this is what happens:
Me: *staring into another universe*
People around me: SHE IS DOING IT AGAIN!
As an ENFP I love INFJ’s y’all are the kindest and cutest ppl on the planet by the way. I feel safe around y’all and I don’t feel safe around most people 🌸
The feeling of safety is probably why my ENFP grandson and I got along so well when he was a little boy. I looked after him a lot, and I didn't see him engaging in stimming when he was with me, like my daughter talked about due to his Aspergers. I was surprised to hear that he jingled keys a lot around her, which drove her crazy.
I never heard him jingle or saw him jiggle, but I did see him move pretty fast sometimes when we were at the water park. It made other people's jaws when he really got going, and laugh and look at me, as if to ask "How do you handle it?" But I just thought it was cute and was glad he was working off his energy. He wasn't like that all the time, but he was always interesting.
He is very strong-willed and we had some battle royales to get him to clean up his messes or to write out lines when he misbehaved, but I thought of his personality as "zesty" and, most of the time, a lot of fun.
As an INFJ, a close friend of mine is an ENFP 😊
This is very true. There was a period of time where I avoided eye contact as much as possible because I realized that it made people uncomfortable. Sometimes when I'm really in my own head I won't really be thinking about anything in particular and then I'll suddenly realize that I've been staring at a person for about three minutes and they are starting to squeam. The craziest thing is when I'm watching somebody do something I 100% do not approve of. I have accidentally scared people to death because they looked up and I was just there with this intense stare, like, "no". A couple people had trouble talking with me afterwards and I kind of felt guilty.
Also, I love used book stores. I don't understand how you can't love them.
Very true, and typical of INFJ's (i guess). I have the same experience with people not understanding how the INFJ takes in information. So many times in social settings with people I don't know, I use the secondary function and just feel my way through the situational setting (very uncomfortable, at first), without processing the inputs that I normally receive with the Extroverted Intuition. It feels so strange, when I do this....Its like removing your shirt and baring ones chest. I said all of this to say that, I do this to not make people uncomfortable. I guess that is a characteristic of an INFJ... Strangely enough I enjoy this, but soon I tire of it and I need to recharge. I love the library and used book stores, I think that INFJ's like book stores/libraries because they can open up their functions and not worry about explaining to someone or offending someone by not talking and interacting with everybody.
Micah Snow You're so me!
Micah Snow I’m horrible at it. And I don’t care. 🤷🏼♂️
used book stores, yes!
strongcloud28 bci
Honestly, I creep out a lot of people because I am absorbing them and I know how they feel before they tell what they really feel.
Kinda exhausting anyways, but worth it. I tell them the best advice that I could give to them.
Holy shit me too doesn’t help that I watch anime and like the more emo things
John Russel Tatel dude you too?? Wtf?!
"staring in a way that is too intimate" 😂 now i feel weird. have I really been doing that to people..gosh
Zevelyn7 Now I get why some more surface level conversation people feel weird when talking to me. I feel the same talking to them back 😂
Zzz omg same
Forget we're in bodies! Geez it's like you take the words out of my mouth in these vids
Yep
Yeah we are hyper-cephalized...living more in our brains than our bodies. So not mystical, just residing in a different place
Do not go, with all of that, to a psychiatrist or therapist... this sounds all too keen to warn. But I do not,i.e. NOT, want to tell you how many Random Diagnoses I got, simply because of being a more or less conscious human being. Sorry to be forewarning like that...
I told my therapist something like this... Now he thinks I have a dissociative disorder lol
Free Thinking That's what my therapist thinks right now too, after some others, who thought about...., then about..
I'm an INTJ, and I just started paying attention to you guys. It's so strange! But it feels wonderful. You do the same thing with people that we do with concepts and ideas. We park on them for a while. I call it the "cooking phase." And I don't mind the INFJ stare at all. It feels flattering. Like I'm the center of the universe. And although it SHOULD be creepy, it actually feels warm.
For me, people tend to open up a lot once we start conversing. I think it's because of what you said at the end, the attention I'm showing feels warm and inviting to them? I guess.
William Krapek- I'm legally blind and an INFJ, and when I talk with people I very much tend to focus on them like they're the center of the universe. Several things have occurred to me, do I focus so intently because I can't see much beyond to be distracted much by my surroundings or is it my personality that drives me to peer so deeply into what my counterpart is talking to me about that causes me to stare so deeply into their eyes? Perhaps my vision does take away from distractions, but I do feel it is more my personality, as I normally do feel a genuine interest in what is being said as long as it is not some shallow conversation, i.e. small talk. Just the same, good to know we aren't creeping everyone out with our soul-piercing stares. lol
I’m an INFJ who tests as INTJ time to time. I’m confused a bit by everything . Do I feel assured or file all this away? Does it matter ???
Hmmm. Sometimes I don’t know why someone has snagged my attention almost involuntary until I finish analyzing the person. I’ve also noticed there are some that like my stare and the attention I give when they’re around me or are talking to me. If they ever hurt me or I’m mad at them I become so closed off and hurt that I’m not even able to look into their eyes at all. I then feel their restless energy energy almost like they’ll do anything to get that attention back. But I also need time to heal and it takes me a while to get back to that point where I’m comfortable and looking into their eyes again. Weirdo that I am.
Im INFP and have a similar piercing stare that ive been told is "intimidating and makes people feel like theyre about to burst into flames" lmao. I look around a lot when im in public, im a pretty observant person but when I really stare with the intention on figuring something out about someone, noticing tiny little cues or hints that that person is being fake and putting on a mask or telling a lie or something like that I can literally feel how uncomfortable it makes people when they know that I know. Its so hard to explain but it takes a special kind of person to really get something by me.
Justin K. You're an Empath like me, I have the same experience, I've also been told I can be intimidating to talk to.
Justin K. I am still figuring myself out. Not sure infj or infp. Have qualitys of both.
Funny thing is what makes me most comfortible around people is when i see inperfections, if they stunble words, backtrack or really bad at flirting. In a way it is sort of verification that, that is who they are and when i open up to them and they see mine i won't be judged.
But im paranoid about showing inperfection in a fear of someone using it against me or laughing at me so i try to put out this perfect persona.
So maybe other people are seeing that perfection and remain guarded, is why i have a very hard time socializing with people.
I assume that they assume what i am thinking..
When i stare into eyes of women especially i see someone beautiful i come across as flirting with everyone lol.. and i kind of am when i see something i like in their eyes.. weird.
Just be careful. I thought I was extremely gifted with intuition. Well I am, but it doesn’t apply to all people. Psychopaths and narcissistic people will attract you and vice versa. My best friend is a narcissist. Well long story short I gave him another chance. He then lied to me for 6months straight about the stupidest shit. I can tell within minutes normally if your being superficial or real. He got me again. There are people wired differently just like INFJ’s. But they are evil most the time and opposites attract
Austin Murphy
I am also dealing with a person just like that. A compulsive liar. I just can't understand why, the tendency to have to lie all the time. Been trying to stay away from him, but he's trying like hell to hold on to the relationship, for what purpose, I do not know.
Shell R hes insecure about his life and fakes it to think u won't be friends with him when u find out about his shitty life, maybe ur his only friend.
3:30 ish... wait I’m not the only one who feels like I’m not in my body? Infjs unite!
The introverted intuition mixed with extroverted emotion is a curse sure, I’m saying that being an infj.... but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I’m secretly proud of it all. It’s hard for me to even understand how others don’t read each other like I do, I’d feel so detached from everything if I didn’t absorb the information and “vibrations” of others.
Good point mydude
Nick Hyde I thought everyone could read each other like I do and that it’s a normal thing till I discovered that no one could pick up on the things that I could see so I just stopped trying to explain to them what’s happening and kept everything to myself and followed my gut
You rock Nick!
Yes. I starting accepting myself as a weirdo and I’m beginning to enjoy all the things that freaked me out and depressed me before. If someone sorta close to me calls me weirdo I would say I think you mean sexy lol. But I can only say that to someone if I know them lol.
I'm an INTJ so... I'm basically the same as this but with STUFF and not people, but I married an INFJ and I can say this is very correct. In an interesting way we complement each other well, I process stuff with fascination and her with people in fascination, we can bounce ideas off each other in a very observer like situation. She can look at me with those deep INFJ eyes, but in the same way she's fascinated with the things she gleams from me I'm fascinated in a person trying to read another with such fervor. Very interesting stuff!
When I was dating I would pick out the person I wanted to be with and stare at them. Every time, without fail, they would come over to me and start talking. If I liked them I would continue staring and they would ask me out. If I didn't I looked away and they would leave. Very wonderful superpower! Also, when I used to take public transportation I would not look at nasty troublemakers. I could feel the negativity oozing from them. They would not bother me, hence the INFJ invisiblity cloak...another superpower. Lol
Ha ha, I've had some similar experiences!
Ha this is quite hard cause I’m a bit shy. I’ll try this. I’ll just stare with a tiny smile if I can muster it phew. Let’s see what happens.
I did this stare to a guy I just met last weekend. The first couple times were unintentional, but I learned how shy he was. He noticed me staring, got a huge smile and looked away embarrassed. It was so endearing that I kept doing it after that on purpose.
Take that professor who told me I have a "deer in the headlights look"
I'm just an INFJ with big eyes lol
I get told I have crazy eyes or wednesday adams comes up
often
*high 5's ya*...ohh gawd!...i get that all the time too,...& im like...what?..cos i'm not transfixed in their blinding light or frozen with fear...lol!
SAME.
My English professor had told me the same thing lol
Me too. Big eyes and an almost consistently mildly-but-noticably-surprised look.
should have ended the video with like ...a straight 10-20s of dead stare
Why didn't I think of that?!!?!
Omg, the moment I clicked on this and heard your voice, it was super obvious that you were an INFJ. And the cool one, not the crazy one. Even tho all of you are a little crazy
.. (ENFP) lol
Beautiful! I would love to be in a room full of INFJs. I feel like it would be a room full of amazing eyes. That’s what my husband tells me-I’m all eyeballs. I love your graceful explanation. I call it “the gaze”-because I had several friends use this term on me when I was a young adult. I even started a blog with that name in the late 90s (back when there were only like 10 blogs on the internet). I didn’t know my type back then but was trying so hard to make sense of myself, as I know INFJs are wont to do.
INTJs, too. I had INTJ results when I took the MBTI and thought I had found my tribe when I got onto an INTJ thread on the Internet. I have a lot in common with them. Recently realized I am actually an INFJ. Some of the other personality types find this topic boring, but not the ENFPs. They have a high level of curiosity, and it seems to be especially triggered by people who seem to be "inscrutable" to them. I just love it when ENFPs make comments on our threads. They're so cuuuuuuute, like friendly puppies.
It's also amazing to me that people think I'm expressionless when I know how in tune I am with everything. But yes - sometimes I have to consciously remember to integrate a facial expression to make others more comfortable haha!
Intimate or boring Stare--- A reason why most people think I'm judging them maybe because of the way I stare where in fact I was just observing everyone hahaha
aw i used to get made fun of in high school for staring & being silent.... i didn’t realize it but had so much shame after. thanks for this vid
So I stopped listening and look outside the window 😂.
"They see someone starring at them in a way that is way too intimate" 😂😂 guilty!!
Great video! Can you make a video on INFJ stuttering/jumbling words/having trouble putting words to our thoughts when interacting with people?(especially people that are strangers or acquaintances)
You’re not the only one! I would LOVE to see a video on this because this is a daily struggle for me.
same here!
THIS 👏👏👏
at times yes but what i feel is mostly my thoughts are just racing or going faster than my speech or what im currently talking to if that makes any sense....that to me is when i seem to stutter or jump over my words that the other person is starting to get confused.
that is exactly me every single time, it's almost nerve wrecking to try to talk steadily while my mind is sprinting every mile!
I'm often told I look sad. But I'm just focusing or my mind is processing things while I'm off in another dimension (totally agree about the out-of-body comment)
I'm an INFP, Barns and Noble discount section is amazing... that joke was just tooooo real for me... thank you
Yes!!!!
So true!! The worst is when you’re processing information in class thinking and teachers get uncomfortable cause they think it means something else 😭
They are uncomfortable mostly likely because they think you caught something they messed up on or forgot. The worst is when they call you out on it and ask if they missed something... and then "AHHH. " ... what do you say? Do you tell them what they missed if you did notice? As an extravert, I do for various reasons but that IS awkward. I have an ability to just sweep things under the rug and let the magic of my doubled dimpled smile distract them hopefully quick enough so I can get back to whatever I was doing in my head... You would be amazed how far the attitude of jedi mind trick of "it's no big deal" to others will get you ....as an introvert I imagine that would be soul crushing if you have not mastered that jedi mind trick. I also was very quickly made to sit in the very front row even though I always would choose the very back seat at first so at least I didnt have to see the others as the teacher called me out. I just got to feel their presence.
Frank: "its a deep well of--- whatever!"
Me: nods head... Yep! Exactly!
Hahah
Love it
For some reason Frank I like you. Subscribed.
For some reason Randy I like you too. Thanks for the subscribe!
Ok. I figured it out. You know what you are talking about
I’m an old man now. And and a clear INFJ. I’ve known it for years. You really know what you are saying
I’ve watched portions of your other videos. I’ll watch them all completely shortly. You understand well all of the INFJ “peculiarities”. I’ve struggled with them for 60 plus years. You will always struggle with them. It’s a matter of learning how adapt your outer “shell” while maintaining your inner sanity and pacem. You can make your way successfully through life. And be happy. You can do it. It’s possible. But you’ll have the same “internal” issues. Always. You remind me so very much of me at your age. I wish I could talk to you.
3:35 - 3:40 ''When we stare, sometimes we forget how we come across [to other people]'' - *this* is so SPOT ON. It took me a while to become aware of me doing this in social contexts