The "DMPC", a beloved half-Orc Barbarian named Thrack, told us he had the best plan ever when we encountered a dragon ( I think Green, not sure) in it's cave lair. "We have that magic stick thing that can't be moved, right? I am good runner, good jumper. I will charge, jump rocks, land at cave entrance, put magic stick (immovable rod) in front of cave, dragon no move, we kill!" The rest of us were like...uhh...that actually sounds pretty good. Go for it. So, the DM, playing as Thrack, proceeds to make some jump rolls, etc (He is naturally one of the luckiest dice rollers we all know). Got some very high rolls and a few Nat 20s. Plants the immovable rod, turns to the rest of us, who are like a hundred or more yards away taking cover, and goes... "ta-DA". Then DM switches voices to play the dragon, and starts going MWA-HA-HA-HA-ha-ha. We were like, uh-oh, he did it right, what's wrong? The dragon is trapped. Then the DM has the dragon roll knowledge arcana, reaches over and pushes the deactivation button on the immovable rod. We hear -click-. "MWUU-HA-HA-HA-ha-ha". The biggest nat 20 rolled that day, might have been our DM using deception to make us think HIS NPC might actually come up with a useful plan.
Took my party to the Astral Plane, and my Paladin rolled a nat 20 to tell a seemingly random star to fuck off. Obviously, I couldn't just deny that, so the star just flew away. It caused the astrology charts to go nuts, and when they got back the city was in a panic because the star that represents the war god's constellation's head just wandered into the constellation of the harvest god and no one quite understands what it could mean.
The drunken sailor story is a perfect example of a character being a badass action movie protagonist’s secretly badass sidekick. He is minding his own business, until an enemy gets too close, so he just bonks him over the head with a mace, collects the rum from the other dead pirates, quickly heals a friend, and falls to sleep immediately in his hammock. Legend.
One of my players was a very dumb, but charismatic paladin. After trying to track down whoever was watching the party in their sleep, and failing, he asks the trees if they saw anything. I asked him to roll a charisma check, and what do you know? There's actually a dryad living here that saw them. To make it better, the dryad was interested in the paladin, and they went into his tent. Here, I asked him to roll an intelligence check to see if his character could understand the dryad's advances. The rogue keeping watch saw a very frustrated dryad leave a little later
My girlfriend asked to roll to pull rusty nails out of the wall of a saloon. DM gave her 3 for free. She insisted on being allowed to roll for it, and he let her. She rolled high (I think it was a 16 or 17) and she now has 8 rusty nails. Can't wait to be able to strap them to my stick of dynamite.
If you guys frequent that saloon she should pull nails out every time you guys go there & see how long it is b4 they notice or the saloon collapses. Extra points if you use it to gaslight the barkeep (removing nails, then replacing them after he notices they're gone..)
That last one though. I love when you have to go rescue someone. And then find out the session before the last one that the mascot your party adopted in session1 was actually that person you were sent to rescue. We had TWO PEOPLE with Speak with Animals, who have consistently used it to talk to every goddamn animal BUT our mascot. We didn't even find out that the mascot was our target to rescue in the conventional way either... She ran into the first Antimagic field we came across. Then began the most awkward walk back to camp because EVERYONE with dispel magic cast it on our rescuee INSIDE THE GODDAMN FIELD.
I recently started DMing a campaign and one of the sessions had some guards that were often not fed very well but were terrified of their superior. The Druid found this out and asked if I could try to make them some corn. I told him he could try with disadvantage, since usually you can’t make food with it. He rolled both dice and got a nat 20 on both, so now he can make corn whenever he wants
My tale is of a Kenku Ranger named Curse “Fling” Flinger. All you need to know is that Fling was a bit of a kleptomaniac and wanted all the shinies, he was a thief, and was not especially smart. Previously our Elf Monk party member got the had bought some magic beans and when she got bored began planting them, summoning a treant and a bullete (land shark) causing a massive fight in the town square and had got two of the townspeople killed. The DM had wanted this to be our base for the campaign and we had even been given title and land the previous mission. As the fight with the bullette was ending the town guards rushed in to fight the monster and investigate the scene. One eyewitness report later and our party was having all their gold taken for damages and reparations for the victims families. Now during the fight Fling was presumed dead (actually hiding from the town guards out of habit) and saw his party members posessions taken buy the guards. So he stealthed (+10 due to pass without a trace) and was able to follow the loot back to the mayors estate. A few good rolls, a mimicked guards voice, and a cat impression later, he was able to misty step out a window with loot in hand, but was caught by the mayor last second, seeing Fling outside his window with the stolen money. The mayor immediately calls for the guards. So now the DM has Fling roll to stealth out of town. 18: he avoids the first patrol of guards leeping to the shadows. 23: climbing on and using the rooftops to scout, Fling is able to watch the patrol patterns and evade further detection. 6: while on the outskirts of the town, treeline in sight, a lone torch from a guard as he travels the nearby road illuminates you as they ask what are you doing sneaking in the night. Fling immediately drops his trousers and tells the guard that he had to use the bathroom. The guard rolling well remembers the description of the adventurers from before and knows some of Flings antics so decides to bring him in for questioning. Being so close Fling pulls out a dagger to stab the guard. Natural 1. The guard reaches for the dagger, injuring Fling in the process, and handcuffs him in one smooth action, also because of the Natural 1, the commotion has drawn the attention of a nearby guard patrol. DM asks what Fling will do. Me: “I kiss him.” Whole Table: “What?” Fling opens his beak and tries to kiss him as the patrol were arriving. The patrol see a bleeding handcuffed kenku with his pants still down in the middle of a kiss with the guard. The leader of the patrol asks what is going on. The guard is stunned from the unexpected kiss. Fling: “He tried to touch my no no square.” With a good roll in deception, the patrol immediately turn and began pummelling the guard, shouting at him that they swore that he was already on his final warning from the last time, and calling him a sick bastard. The lead patrol asks Fling if he’s okay and uncuffs him letting him pull up his pants. The now beaten guard tries to object saying I matched the description of a suspect for a recent crime but the partol leader shouted him down saying whatever crime the kenku supposedly committed was paid for and then some. Fling taking the opportunity, grabbed him party members goods and ran into the woods. The Elf Monk and the rest of the party were setting up camp, talking over how they were kicked out of town due to the Elf Monk and how they lost Fling in the fight with the bullete. Just then Fling bursts through the foliage with the parties goods in hand. And thats how Fling saved christmas.
Was doing an espionage mission to figure out the source behind these weird living golems that had been attacking the city the last couple months. My Way of the four Elements monk decided she would use gaseous form, float inside, get a good look around, see all there is to see, and return with no one having any idea she'd been in the factory. That part goes fine. Then I happen upon where one of the "golems" is dumping some cores (their power source) into a storage device. I had the idea that, right as this golem dropped the core, I would drop gaseous form, snatch it out of the air, cast fly, and skidaddle. "You can certainly try." Nat 20. I don't just manage to grab the core, I knock the large box of parts out of the golem's hand, which I manage to grab before I cast fly and escape. Our druid had a field day trying to figure out the machinery I brought back, still one of my favorite Nat 20's. Felt so clutch.
We had a guy one hit a freaking dragon accidentally when he was trying to kill off a character he wasn't happy with. He threw an apple at it rolled a nat 20, we confirmed at that table and he got another nat 20. Just to tempt fate DM had him roll again. Well after three nat twenties in a row, the gods obviously wanted that thing dead, and the character became one of those seekers of death B/C they just can't die types...
@@nocount7517" two truths one lie I love my friends I have drunk alcohol I killed a dragon with an apple" "Come on you are meant to at least try to make it hard" *Drinks ale* "whoops now its three truths"
I think my favorite was when I rolled ~25 to make "The four horsemeals of the eggporkalypse" of Parks and Rec fame. See, our whole party was just told by a goddess that we're incarnations of the other four goddesses in this world. Naturally, everyone was shaken up after this bombshell dropped, and so my character decided to go all out and make breakfast fit for a group of gods. The meal was so good that the full goddess stayed and gave us some guidance on what to do, and it lightened the mood for players and characters. It was really dumb and funny at first, but it genuinely became a great character and world moment for everyone.
this happened today, they were sailing and it was a long trip so they had a dance party. One of the players rolled a 18 for dance moves. I was the dm and I was dying laughing, trying to say "you dance so hard you knock some of the others to the ground" the player's character was a bard so shit checks out.
We got caught by the big bad's guards. I pointed and shouted hey look a pony! GM: * rolls insight for the guards and crit fails on one of them* ........oh for the love of.... so one of the guards turns around and yells pony!? Where!? After we killed the other guards the gm rolled again to see if that one guard was still distracted and crit failed again. GM: Unfortunately yes he is very much still distracted by the possibility of seeing that pony.
i was at a convention and got to play a one off campaign, my character was a homebrew demon race necromancer. in the campaign we were simply taxed with clearing an undead filled crypt, half way through, we came to a large room with a large amount of skeletons in it, and one larger and more decked out in gear than the rest, i rolled the lowest initiative, my part of 8 started battling the skeletons and after all my party and all the skeletons finished, it was finally my turn, out of a hunch, i walk right up to the main skeleton and casted "speak to dead" after the rolls, i spoke with the skeleton who told me that him and his companions in the room use to be soldiers in service to the king and were killed and resurrected as skeletons here by a lich who was the big bad of the dungeon, i then rolled a successful charisma check apologizing to the skeleton, and convinced him and his companions to rebel against the lich and aid our party in the rest of the dungeon, rest of the party were DUMBFOUNDED. in the end our shear numbers SLAUGHTERED the lich before it even got a turn.
One of my players, a (homebrew) orc fighter, was waiting with the rest of the party in the tavern while they were waiting to be summoned by the mayor for a job. He decided he was going to get a bit tipsy and start “doing art”. I told him to roll unskilled “art rolls” for it, since he had no skills for it and no reason to have any past experience with it. After 2 nat 20s, the fighter now has the “Moanin Lisa” and “Good Night” in his inventory, true works of art.
The dumbest thing my players ever rolled for? Sleight of hand to turn the inside of a windmill into a daylight disco in order to eviscerate two vampires. Both of whom separately counted as a deadly encounter (they weren't supposed to fight them yet). They punched holes into the walls and relayed the light with mirrors all through the inside of the building while the barbarian wrestled the vampires to stay in the sunlight. While also acing 4 consecutive DC17 wis saves with 7 wisdom to his name. It was at that time that I decided that the dice gods had just conspired against me to give my players an easy time of it
I’m excited because in little over a week I’m taking a week long vacation from work with my gf for our anniversary. We met through D&D (she in fact has seduced the DM lol). I’ll be proposing to her during the vacation!
I realized I should leave an update in the replies here too and not just on the new video. My dnd gf that I went on vacation with is now my fiancée! :D
So in my friend group's campaigns, we usually add an item called 'Mysterious Bread' into the campaign. When you eat a slice of Mysterious Bread, you roll a d20 to see what magical effect happens (Basically a mini wild magic surge table). After you eat a slice, you learn the recipe to make it. So anyways, to the fun part. We're playing a Norse themed campaign. Me and my party were in the tavern, to chill before going out on another mission (We had just got done killing a vampire, at level 3) one of the party members doesn't know how to make Mysterious Bread, so I roll to stuff the slice down his throat, nat 20. He turns invisible for 5 minutes, my other party member that has blindsight follows him and ties him up using his barbarian wild magic. I decide to cast grease, fail, had to roll on the wild magic table, and blipped into the Astral plain. (Next session I'll be going to Vanaheim to hopefully learn some more magic, possibly from Freya.)
The dumbest thing I roll for every once in a while is for my emotions. For example if i get roasted by a party member I'll roll a d20 and then say I take that many sadness points. I originally got the idea from a member of the first party I was ever part of when my first character ever died and he rolled for sadness and got a 1 Lao. Said he dident even notice I died until a they were burying me
The party was thrown in jail and sentenced to hard labor. I asked if I could sing 'I'll make a man out of you' while working. Nat 20. The DM ruled that not only did the rest of the prisoners joined in, but that my character would get a special bonus to performance while singing Disney songs
My group walked into a cavern "something " cast cone of silence on us then darkness. I asked if i could roll to let out a ripper. Nat 20 followed by a d4 roll for max damage. I was a goliath barbarian so you know it was bad. I couldn't stop laughing.
Oh, I got one! My Gnome Artificer ( the Revised UA version, about 3 years before Eberron rising) needed a mount, but I was too cheap to cough up the gold for one. So I ask my DM if there are sheep around, which he confirmed. So I wanted to do an animal handling check, to tame one of the rams. NAT 20 on the check and I was riding a majestic curly horned ram right next to my fellow murderhobos on horses. Since Gnomes are small and sheep medium sized, no problem. DM later had it eaten by a dragon of screen, but I kept its skeleton in my bag of holding till the day I was tortured into a catatonic state by a demon lord. Needless to say, the DM and I did not always see eye to eye, but the round is still going and right know I'm DMing.....
Enemy goes door to door checking to see if anyone is in the houses. Party member calls out "No one is here." Got two nat 20s because of disadvantage roll, and to add to the hilarity, the enemy got two nat 1s on the advantage roll.
I mean I guess that it makes sense for the Goliath Barbarian/Fighter to be able to carry that cart without any trouble, but seriously that moment is too good.
This is my first campaign so I'm still learning the ropes. The dragonborn paladin in our party decided to roll to take a piss in the bathroom of the tavern we were in so our dm had him roll a strength check. Don't remember the roll but it was really high. Anyway he proceedes to rip off the crotch off his pants completely. Since my necromancer is proficient with tinkerers tools I rolled to see if I could repair the pants in the bathroom. Rolled a performance check to see if I could do it without it being an awkward homoerotic experience and rolled in the upper teens so I did so without making it weird. Only after walking out of the bathroom did I remember that I had mending :|
One time, we were trying to read an ancient scroll and everybody failed their history checks to see if they could read it. Our cleric got frustrated and said "just tell me what you say, damn scroll!" Our DM jokingly said "roll for persuasion". They did. Nat 20. The cleric had persuaded the scroll to give up a few of its secrets.
I do believe yall have read some of these before, especially the last one, sometime in the past year and a half or so. Felt awesome rehearing them. BLOOD GOD!!!
Not the dm, the player. I played a glorious Netherlandish (in our game its referred to as switzelandlevanian) wizard kensei monk and we have this rule where if you roll double nat 20s for a skill or attack or whatnot roll, you gain a permanent buff in a minor but viable way (the opposite also applies with double 1s). The party was chasing after some sheep thieves on horseback. My character was the only one able to catch up thanks to unarmoured movement+mobile feat+longstrider+dash+bonus action dash. Once I caught up to the thief camp, I decided to use disguise self to dress up as one of those 2 person animal costumes to blend in with the heard of sheep. Rolled stealth, success. Decided to use the surprise to scare the thieves straight. Nat 20 intimidation, confirmed double 20s. My dm told me that rumors went around about a terrifying sheep demon with haunting red eyes and horrifying breaths. To the party however, this demon basically looked like Alucard from Castlevania wearing a loose fitting droopy sheep costume.
My DM gave me an ultimatum when my player character, a triple classed level 9 beast of a high elf, came face to face with a beholder. At the time, I was separated from my group in a capitol city of the land we were traversing, and I ended up in a holy temple before the epic battle. I drank from the fountain, and it had the effect of increasing my max hp by 1d6. I rolled a natural 6, making my hit points an astounding 60, up from 54. I weaponize civilians around me, as I knew I was cornered in this temple as the beholder was wreaking havoc throughout the city street and making its way directly for us. The DM then called a break, and pulled me to the side. He said: "I'm gonna let you decide how you want to do this, because there is a very large possibility that you may fall in this battle, and I cant help you get out of this. You're cornered, I can't pull punches. You can either fight this thing as a group, with its health being set to 80. (DM decided 80hp was fair, due to it being post combat where the beholder took a divine smite and multiple other large attacks.) Or, I 1v1 the beholder at 50hp. One of my multi class trees is rogue, so I asked him, "most of my damage per turn is sneak attack. If I 1v1 him, how can I even possibly do that?" He gave me a hint, saying he will get to that. For a small bit of more context: this beholders name was zigbar, and he had multiple personalities controlling his physical body. I rolled a history check for their names, (we helped this beholder procure an amulet from one of his enemies a while back) and I successfully remembered the name of his calm personality and his evil wicked one. My DM gave me DM's inspiration, which his ruling is that when a player role plays to some of the best of their characters abilities, he can award it to us. I was a general of an army, and weaponizing a small militia, persuading them to pick up arms, and charging them into battle was the epitome of what my character stood for, and it was acknowledged and rewarded. This DM's inspiration was a single use guaranteed nat20. As I approached the beholder outside the temple, it used telepathy and disintegration rays to take care of everyone around us, aside from me and a peasant I gave a Longsword to. I spoke to its personality of murderous intent, and instructed my ally to speak to its gentle calm side at the same time. In doing so, I had to roll persuasion, and I successfully stunned this beholder twice, as it fought with itself internally, and we both, me and my ally, got within 5 feet of this beholder, and I used my god-given nat20 to strike the beholder eith my flame tongue scimitar, lit with flame and crackling with my 1d4 hemocraft damage type of lightning. (Class number 2: blood hunter.) I hit it for a combined damage of 42 in the single hit, not enough to kill it in one blow. But, luckily, the peasant got to attack. This untrained mad lad HIT THE BEHOLDER, and dealt like 2 or 3 damage to it, and rolled to successfully CUT OFF THE BEHOLDERS DISINTEGRATION RAY EYEBALL. I was PUMPED. But then, we had to roll initiative. I got a surprise attack to re-initiate the combat I escaped earlier, and rolled a nat 1 for initiative. The Beholder goes first. And hits me with a dark black ray. And he rolled.... 55 necrotic damage. The DM looked at me, sadly, and began to describe my character, falling, when I interjected: "I'm still up." "How much health do you have?" "5. Health. Left." Before I drank from the fountain, I prayed to the gods of whoever was worshipped in that temple, and thanked it for its blessings. The DM then spoke: "You just took a ray of death. And LIVED." Kind of stunned, I watched as he looked down at the book in front of him, and I'm guessing with the one eye cut off last turn, the beholder couldn't use his legendary action, and the turn rotation came to me. I used my superiority dice, (theres class number 3: fighter.) And added 3 to my roll to hit, rolling a total of 25 (15+7(dex mod)+3) and successfully landed the final blow on this beholder, thrusting my flaming blade, ending its life, and becoming a living legend, alongside this commoner who stood by me even in reluctance to do so. (I was a lycan blood hunter, in beast form, so nobody was super interested in aiding me.) Our parties Tiefling Player, before the battle ensued, said out loud: "If you kill this thing, we will tell your story forever." And I did. Every roll on that table surmounted to a swift and legendary battle between Tornir and Harold, and Zigbar the Deranged Beholder. And if a single roll of the die had cast a different number, Tornir would be dead. When I first began playing Dungeons and Dragons, people used to tell me: "The dice tell a story!" And by god... They Do. Edit: this was literally the stupidest situation Tornir ever got himself Into, and I feel as though even though it wasn't a single roll for something dumb, it was a dire situation that if any single thing was different, I'd have failed and fallen. I succeeded, when the DM looked me in the eye and told me Tornir's time might have come. And that... to me, is worth the story.
One of the party members that I'm a Ayer for has a "core of the world fragment" (homebrew) that acts as a +1 magic staff with added effects, one such being that if someone touches it while not being attuned to it must make a con/wis save or be knocked out for a turn. My barely sentient barbarian (intelligence 6) gets poked by it and I roll a nat 20. Thus spawning the in joke that I'm too dumb to effect my mind.
I was playing in a campaign with a group of friends as a half elf bard. We were on a ship and one of the shipmates fell off into the ocean. We were looking around and we couldn’t see much, but we could see a dark silhouette in the water. We couldn’t really think of what to do but I asked my dm if I could roll to try and animate the clothes of the person we were looking for and bring him out of the water. Nat 20. Everyone starts laughing as I think I may have spoiled some plans on how we were to get down to the person if there was some way. The person gets lifted out of the water onto the ship and all there was was a shirt and a chest. I am shocked and everyone starts to laugh as I immediately ask “was my music that powerful??” They said no as it was like that before, but for a moment all I had in my head was a body floating in the ocean and all of a sudden “ZOOM” there goes the chest leaving the rest of everything to stay😂.
Long story, but my character was trying to kill themself by getting absurdly drunk, eating 13 raw eggs, and chugging a flask of alchemist fire. DM had me roll Con saves and I - by some miracle miracle - aced all of them. Finally, my character literally just drowned themself. This was all in my control, by the way, it was just bizarre to me that they lived for as long as they did.
DM'd a one shot where the Divination Wizard/Wild Magic Sorcerer Hobgoblin near the end of his life used a sorcerer spell on purpose to trigger the Wild Magic Surge... got the effect: "Roll 1d10. On an odd number, you become that many years younger. On an even number, you become that many years older." Rolled an 8. "Ok," I said, "roll 1d100 to see if you die from the shock of being aged rapidly." Rolled a 1. Cue several minutes of hysterical laughter as this powerful mage who kills powerful enemies dies of a sudden heart attack from their own magic backfiring horrendously.
I once used Dispel Magic to get rid of an Orb of Annihilation. Rolled a Nat 20. Got the whole party then trapped in a black hole dimension. That was a fun one, to say the least.
A very standard Homebrew based off of 4e. The party I was DMing for got to a cliff, and the rogue/assassin elf, our most acrobatic member, decided to peak over the cliff to take in the view. Our heavily armored, 1 ton (literally one ton, without the armor) half-giant says “I want to sneak up behind Elf and push them off the cliff” so I say “roll dex for stealth, Elf roll for perception.” The half-giant gets a nat20 and Elf gets a nat1. “Elf was so overwhelmed by the beautiful scenery that he didn’t notice Giant sneaking up on him, despite the clanking armor and footsteps that shoot the earth. Giant pushed Elf off the cliff, who promptly fell hundreds of feet into some jagged rocks.” The human cleric, holding a Coin of Resurrection (a Homebrew item that, if flipped and lands on heads, can revive someone immediately. If tails, the coin will dissolve and the person will remain dead until another coin is flipped and it lands on heads) says “I try to manipulate how the coin lands as I flip it.” I chuckle, knowing that the cleric, or clerics in general, aren’t really good at party tricks, but I roll with it. “Roll… what’s your lowest stat again?” Because I really wanted the Elf to learn a lesson. Actually we all thought the series of events was hilarious, no one was mad or even annoyed. “My lowest attribute is perception.” Which actually worked out, because I was going to choose Perception or Dex for this in any other situation “Roll the dice, man!” He rolls a nat1. Elf remained dead for 2 sessions until they could save up enough money to by more coins of resurrection.
My older brother's Paladin accidentally stabbed a shop keeper, he panicked and did CPR for a Stab wound to save his life Nat 20(and DM thought it funny) saved the guy and wound dissapeared.
What lead up to this was the rogue stole a Purple stuffed animal that looked like a beholder, it used to be the keeper's late wife's. Keeper gets upset and prepps a fireball, my character ducks out of the way while the Paladin stabs the guy, forgetting to call out nonlethal.
White wolf campaign: we're in a space station trying to find the reason for it being deserted and sending out a distress signal. The GM was really frustrated that we were not progressing downward in the station like he'd intended, so he finally had an NPC show up only to get stabbed by the rogue robots and a metal infection starting up their arm, just to point us in the right direction we were by a med lab. Another player tried to chuck the NPC in the med chair and "heal" the arm with medical and tech rolls since that's what the situation called for. BAD botch. the GM smirkingly said the arm was now ruined. The guy was dying from blood loss. We'd invested in this NPC now so we managed to make a save to stop them dying, but the GM was all "so sad, missing their arm and so much blood they won't talk now" one other player is like "wait, this is like, the main medbay right?" "yeah?" "so that means there's a morgue attached." "I... guess so?" "Cool, let's grab an arm from there and attach it to this guy!" There was an outright refusal by the GM. The original botching player didn't want to risk their luck again, so I was like "I roll to try". I got the biggest success you could imagine, so big the GM couldn't deny the tactic working. So the spiteful comment? We attached a beef arm to a tiny nerd. Dude's not one-handed and dying of metal infection anymore. It was hilarious!
I once rolled a Medicine roll to harvest a corpse for bones to use as a weapon. Got a femur that works as a dagger. Giving my character a Medicine proficiency came in clutch. The party's paladin reacted in shock and horror, so I told the party that my character, the party's wizard, just shrugged. She's not exactly a paragon of virtue, but she still believes in good causes.
So this was actually back when I first got into D&D. We were playing 3.5 and tbh I was needlessly shy with my character. I had a name I used for everything in game and for minor profile names. My DM had a knack for breaking the ice and during character creation we rolled stats for looks and shlong length. Nothing important just a first laugh that honesty worked. I want to guess the original stats but I think it was 6/10 with 8 inches. Later down the road at a bar I was waiting for the party. I ended up drinking a high level wizard’s drink without realizing… or caring. As a joke he temporarily changed my gender. At first it was funny until I took a swing at the wizard… Nat 1. The way the DM described it he got his original drink and made the change permanent before some snarky remark. I kinda laughed it off asking “wait, can I reroll looks?” He laughed and handed me the dice… now my very first character, new name that I honestly don’t remember, 10/10 babe with Double D’s. The table took a bit to calm down from the laughter. Honestly still one of the funniest moments
Npc bar owner and bartender had just had a son and he wanted the party that saved him (us) to name it. Two players were arguing on who gets to name it and they decided to throw darts in the bar. The first one rolled high it was 17 or something similar and he sneakered when he saw the dice. The other player takes the dice and says "wait for it" he rolls and it's nat 20 and dm said your dart punctured his dart. Well that's how we have "luck wait for it briar" his middle name "is wait for it". His father passed by away due to old age leaving luck the briar's luck bar which was used as the base of operations of the party for the whole rest of the campaign.
Was going through a series of traps and the GM gave me a choice whether to roll to dodge out of a crushing pillar's area or to power through it. My character's the power type, so I went with that and rolled really high. Didn't realize the DCs weren't the same for both actions, so when I overloaded the mechanism I felt really incredible until I tried to do the same thing to the next similar trap I came across, and in my hubris, I wound up breaking my character's leg attempting a feat that shouldn't have worked the first time.
Not a DM but a player. Me and my party are traveling some snowy place. (Can't remember what the snowy place is or what it's called.) And we suddenly encounter a yeti. A bit of background I'm a half orc fighter. A thief/wizard bird guy? Can't remember the race. A goblin sorcerer? I think? And someone else. Our thief/wizard went to scout ahead to look for something. Then... The yeti appeared. I was in the cart so I had to go outside to see what was up. The fight was deadly. Our goblin died. Our wizard/thief heads back to help us. And I was immune to the cold damaging thing. (Thank you ring of warmth.) And he nearly died... After that... I'm going to get rested for sure.
So I'm running storm kings thunder and I had just played in a rime of the frostmaiden game so decided to reference my old character. She is a silver dragonborn who is a lv 20 circle of the moon druid and one of my lv 5 players convinced her to join the party to go Adventuring again. They are now dating he is a silver half-dragon in his 20s and she is a polimorphed adult silver dragon (she was in her 20s so they are basicallythe same age). She basically used true Polymorph and clone to make her a true dragon but the players character doesn't know she is a dragon.
Me and my friend had to find a wizard sabotaging the town’s food supply. He (Borgesous the Obese) throws me (Bubby the Gnome) into a random wizard’s house through the window. I roll for stealth, nat20. Picture this. A wizard hears a window breaking in his house, and goes to investigate. A rouge gnome (with, may I add, puke green colored hair that is shaped like a lobster) is completely invisible behind a small twig, and the wizard doesn’t even realize that his window is broken nor remember hearing his window break. Eventually, the wizard dies from Borgesous using the ring of jumping to crush the house.
Was playing a new campaign and my sister wanted to play with the big kids. So we let her she got an animal companion. She wanted a unicorn I said okay if you roll this die (d20) and get a 20 you can have any creature in the monster manual as a companion. She rolled a nat and chose a unicorn. But I was sweating my balls off at the time she would change her mind and choose something nasty like a tarasque. But looking back at it I'm disappointed she didn't choose a tarasque it would have been an interesting campaign
I was playing as a Kumiho (Homebrew Concept) Long Death Monk with my Party was trying to gain information from a dock worker that wanted alcohol for the information. Prior to this session, I read an article about someone brewing whisky made out of a diabetic elderly person's urine so as my CHAOTIC NEUTRAL Character, I made her pee into an empty beer bottle without my Party Members noticing (but the Players heard) and handed the bottle to the dock worker saying it's beer. Despite my Character having Charisma 6 (Charisma Check Mod of -2), I rolled a NAT 20 and the dock worker took it and immediately drank it in front of us and gave us the information we needed. While the DM admitted that the dock worker was dumb and drunk and the Charisma Check I needed was lower than what I had, it sure became awkward with my Party Members from her on out. XD
Deadass rolled to default dance on the boss I one shot. Got a 20. The boss woke up momentarily and started crying. Slowly melting. Party of *8*. The party was shocked I had reached that level of disrespect. I had even met a god and flipped them off. I also burned a fourth of the huge capital city- because of y'know, orphans. (I was a knock off Technoblade) I was not allowed to be anything else than Chaotic Evil. The campaign was fun. 💀✌
Playing a sea campaign. We just stole a ship (after the original ship owners tried to kill us) and were making our way to port. End up getting caught up in a storm. Everyone except our barbarian (my mom's character) rolled well enough not to get sick. Our poor barbarian was puking his guts up (Mom rolled a Nat 1) during the storm. No one wants to go into the mad bay and order the barbarian to clean it up once the storm ended. Mom rolled two Nat 20s in a row. That room was SPARKLING! Her barbarian is now obsessed with bleach and is our janitor. 😂
When I played Pathfinder for the first time our cleric fed a Barbazu a Lemure roast topped with a red Imp sauce and a side of salad made from a Yellow Musk Creeper... Then he turned the Barbazu into a sausage.
Once in a random DND thing that I was doing in Roblox, the 2 people who were playing kept getting low rolls, so they decided to do random things (like swimming) for a few turns because it wouldn't result in bad things as much. On the first turn that they did random things.. They rolled a 20.
I mean its not a suceed but its still funny. I was playing a low intelligence Kobold and my bard said a funny joke. I asked if I understood the joke to laugh about it, and the dm made me roll Int. I got a 1...-1 is 0. He gave me 2 free minutes to say whatever I wanted for my Kobold. I basically ended up having a seizure in the floor and bleeding from my nose, eyes and ears cause I used all my mental capabilities...to not understand a joke :D
In 1 game we were trying to locate a criminal organization that was making faulty products like meats cheese and magic weapons. Day 1 we couldn't find any leads but in the night someone suspicious went by my carriage. We pin him down and I go through his stuff and I find paper pencil etc but also a large wheel of cheese. With the cheese being the oddball item in the bag I roll to inspect the cheese and got a nat 20. I learn it was cheddar and starting to go bad at the corner.
I was playing a Goliath bard. Our party was just in a government building, don't remember why. There was a framed document on the wall and I walked over to it. My DM told me to roll Int Nat 20 Turns out I just read that it was just the building permit lol
Roll to throw a Gnome Nat 20 perfect spiral like a american football Another decides to roll to catch the Gnome Nat 20 "TOUCH DOWN!" Thats how we killed a PC on his first session
spend a hole evening convincing Goblins I am their new king (I play a Half-orc) my DM let me roll everytime i said something to the goblins and everytime i suceeded, even when we went to their actual leader. I told the Goblins to hold their old boss and i killed him. Mind you this probably only worked out because I am able to speak goblin, which my DM will probably never forget again.
These would be more believable if you replaced the "Rolled a Nat 20 on an ABILITY check segments" with "Rolled *Insert very high number of a value above 20 but not exceeding 30 without the use of expertise or magic items.* "
i once had a revenant tracking me and trying to kill me, when i got into a confrontation with it i threw my bag of holding over its head and tried to force it into my bag. my DM told me id have to roll a strength check against the revenant to see if i was strong enough to force it in, nat 20. I forced his ass in and stabbed the bag of holding with my sword (which scatters all the contents of my bag into the astral plane) forcing him into the Astral plane. oh and if you dont know 1 day in the astral plane is roughly equal to 1000 years in the normal plane of existence so the revenant had nearly no time relative to his year to kill me.
Me and my group had to inspect a massive spider problem for this village my friend a human paladin was terrified of spiders so I a Halfling bard scouted ahead while he waited at the city I simply ran out of sight and yelled oh there’s so many there so big then went silent he just said nope and turned around
We were in a dungeon and came across an undead mage that was wearing cursed robes of uselessness . We defeated him and looted the robes. Later in the same dungeon we came across a Desmond with very high strength, dexterity, and constitution. My character decided to jump over the demon and drop the robe onto it. Athletics check nat 20 attack nat 20. In one move I took away half of its hit points, half of it’s AC, and half of its strength.
Yesterday when i laid on a bench in the fields nearby my home, a butterfly landed on my hand and didnt leave me for 15 minutes eventhough he switched hands multiple times He's called rupert now
So this was at the end of the lost Mines of Phandelver campaign my friend was running and we got to the final boss room preparing for an epic fight when the DM’s younger brother playing a human Cleric decided to be funny and tried to kill him with the power of Christ even though his cleric prayed to some astral god. (For the record no he’s not religious he’s just an idiot). Anyway The DM took stuff like that seriously sometimes since he thinks it’s fun and the Cleric ha s to do three seperate s roles for things I can’t remember but gets a 17, 19 and a Nat 20 and the BBEG and his 2 bugbear guards died instantly by the power of Christ no we sat there laughing our asses off for 10 minutes. To this day we still talk about the Cleric who killed a BBEG with the power of a god who didn’t even exist in DND. TL;DR: We asked to Kill a man with the power of Christ as a joke and Succeeded causing one the best running jokes in our friend group.
Rolling to seduce a puzzle into solving itself
Had to rewrite the entire campaign
It's a bard isn't it
Lmao that's darn brilliant
I'm so sorry, but hell yeah.
Tbh I'm surprised the DM would allow that
Why would you even allow that? Was it even sentient?
Rolled to make a grilled cheese got a nat 20 and it's official now in our campaign notes that my character invented grilled cheese
We had a halfling fighter that had a bag of holding of tuna sandwiches, used them to stabilize our goblin monk
Your character made history
Once rolled to kick someone in the manhood during a drunken bar fight. Nat 20. Poor guy's bloodline was ended there and then.
Kicked him so hard his already born kids vanished from the timeline!
@@WildBluntHickok lol
@@WildBluntHickok oof....
The "DMPC", a beloved half-Orc Barbarian named Thrack, told us he had the best plan ever when we encountered a dragon ( I think Green, not sure) in it's cave lair. "We have that magic stick thing that can't be moved, right? I am good runner, good jumper. I will charge, jump rocks, land at cave entrance, put magic stick (immovable rod) in front of cave, dragon no move, we kill!" The rest of us were like...uhh...that actually sounds pretty good. Go for it.
So, the DM, playing as Thrack, proceeds to make some jump rolls, etc (He is naturally one of the luckiest dice rollers we all know). Got some very high rolls and a few Nat 20s. Plants the immovable rod, turns to the rest of us, who are like a hundred or more yards away taking cover, and goes... "ta-DA". Then DM switches voices to play the dragon, and starts going MWA-HA-HA-HA-ha-ha. We were like, uh-oh, he did it right, what's wrong? The dragon is trapped. Then the DM has the dragon roll knowledge arcana, reaches over and pushes the deactivation button on the immovable rod. We hear -click-. "MWUU-HA-HA-HA-ha-ha".
The biggest nat 20 rolled that day, might have been our DM using deception to make us think HIS NPC might actually come up with a useful plan.
Took my party to the Astral Plane, and my Paladin rolled a nat 20 to tell a seemingly random star to fuck off. Obviously, I couldn't just deny that, so the star just flew away. It caused the astrology charts to go nuts, and when they got back the city was in a panic because the star that represents the war god's constellation's head just wandered into the constellation of the harvest god and no one quite understands what it could mean.
Paladin: “well fuck”
Seriously though, that’s hilarious!
Damn astrology nuts... Though id imagine a astronomer would also be very concerned so yunno
Hey! Your me!
That is an omen for war if Ive ever seen one.
It means "WAR AGAINST THE VEGTABLES"
The war god is a picky eater
The drunken sailor story is a perfect example of a character being a badass action movie protagonist’s secretly badass sidekick.
He is minding his own business, until an enemy gets too close, so he just bonks him over the head with a mace, collects the rum from the other dead pirates, quickly heals a friend, and falls to sleep immediately in his hammock. Legend.
“Drinking water in front of starving children.”
Damn thats dark xD
One of my players was a very dumb, but charismatic paladin. After trying to track down whoever was watching the party in their sleep, and failing, he asks the trees if they saw anything. I asked him to roll a charisma check, and what do you know? There's actually a dryad living here that saw them.
To make it better, the dryad was interested in the paladin, and they went into his tent. Here, I asked him to roll an intelligence check to see if his character could understand the dryad's advances. The rogue keeping watch saw a very frustrated dryad leave a little later
omg lol poor pally
Von needs to read this to all! this is good stuff.
Poor Druid, man
No hardwood that night
My girlfriend asked to roll to pull rusty nails out of the wall of a saloon. DM gave her 3 for free. She insisted on being allowed to roll for it, and he let her. She rolled high (I think it was a 16 or 17) and she now has 8 rusty nails. Can't wait to be able to strap them to my stick of dynamite.
Excuse me *WHAT*
If you guys frequent that saloon she should pull nails out every time you guys go there & see how long it is b4 they notice or the saloon collapses.
Extra points if you use it to gaslight the barkeep (removing nails, then replacing them after he notices they're gone..)
Yes, I usually play either neutral or evil characters. Most often neutral evil...
O.o
Dynamite Nail Grenade
That last one though. I love when you have to go rescue someone. And then find out the session before the last one that the mascot your party adopted in session1 was actually that person you were sent to rescue. We had TWO PEOPLE with Speak with Animals, who have consistently used it to talk to every goddamn animal BUT our mascot. We didn't even find out that the mascot was our target to rescue in the conventional way either... She ran into the first Antimagic field we came across. Then began the most awkward walk back to camp because EVERYONE with dispel magic cast it on our rescuee INSIDE THE GODDAMN FIELD.
I recently started DMing a campaign and one of the sessions had some guards that were often not fed very well but were terrified of their superior. The Druid found this out and asked if I could try to make them some corn. I told him he could try with disadvantage, since usually you can’t make food with it. He rolled both dice and got a nat 20 on both, so now he can make corn whenever he wants
My tale is of a Kenku Ranger named Curse “Fling” Flinger. All you need to know is that Fling was a bit of a kleptomaniac and wanted all the shinies, he was a thief, and was not especially smart.
Previously our Elf Monk party member got the had bought some magic beans and when she got bored began planting them, summoning a treant and a bullete (land shark) causing a massive fight in the town square and had got two of the townspeople killed.
The DM had wanted this to be our base for the campaign and we had even been given title and land the previous mission.
As the fight with the bullette was ending the town guards rushed in to fight the monster and investigate the scene. One eyewitness report later and our party was having all their gold taken for damages and reparations for the victims families.
Now during the fight Fling was presumed dead (actually hiding from the town guards out of habit) and saw his party members posessions taken buy the guards. So he stealthed (+10 due to pass without a trace) and was able to follow the loot back to the mayors estate. A few good rolls, a mimicked guards voice, and a cat impression later, he was able to misty step out a window with loot in hand, but was caught by the mayor last second, seeing Fling outside his window with the stolen money.
The mayor immediately calls for the guards.
So now the DM has Fling roll to stealth out of town.
18: he avoids the first patrol of guards leeping to the shadows.
23: climbing on and using the rooftops to scout, Fling is able to watch the patrol patterns and evade further detection.
6: while on the outskirts of the town, treeline in sight, a lone torch from a guard as he travels the nearby road illuminates you as they ask what are you doing sneaking in the night.
Fling immediately drops his trousers and tells the guard that he had to use the bathroom.
The guard rolling well remembers the description of the adventurers from before and knows some of Flings antics so decides to bring him in for questioning.
Being so close Fling pulls out a dagger to stab the guard. Natural 1.
The guard reaches for the dagger, injuring Fling in the process, and handcuffs him in one smooth action, also because of the Natural 1, the commotion has drawn the attention of a nearby guard patrol.
DM asks what Fling will do.
Me: “I kiss him.”
Whole Table: “What?”
Fling opens his beak and tries to kiss him as the patrol were arriving.
The patrol see a bleeding handcuffed kenku with his pants still down in the middle of a kiss with the guard.
The leader of the patrol asks what is going on.
The guard is stunned from the unexpected kiss.
Fling: “He tried to touch my no no square.”
With a good roll in deception, the patrol immediately turn and began pummelling the guard, shouting at him that they swore that he was already on his final warning from the last time, and calling him a sick bastard.
The lead patrol asks Fling if he’s okay and uncuffs him letting him pull up his pants.
The now beaten guard tries to object saying I matched the description of a suspect for a recent crime but the partol leader shouted him down saying whatever crime the kenku supposedly committed was paid for and then some. Fling taking the opportunity, grabbed him party members goods and ran into the woods.
The Elf Monk and the rest of the party were setting up camp, talking over how they were kicked out of town due to the Elf Monk and how they lost Fling in the fight with the bullete. Just then Fling bursts through the foliage with the parties goods in hand. And thats how Fling saved christmas.
...................... I've seen plenty of shit in my days, but THAT is something I can't grasp without fear of sanity loss.
Rolled to see how good I felt one morning after waking up.
*Nat. 20.*
I promptly re-enacted American Dad.
Was doing an espionage mission to figure out the source behind these weird living golems that had been attacking the city the last couple months. My Way of the four Elements monk decided she would use gaseous form, float inside, get a good look around, see all there is to see, and return with no one having any idea she'd been in the factory. That part goes fine.
Then I happen upon where one of the "golems" is dumping some cores (their power source) into a storage device. I had the idea that, right as this golem dropped the core, I would drop gaseous form, snatch it out of the air, cast fly, and skidaddle. "You can certainly try."
Nat 20. I don't just manage to grab the core, I knock the large box of parts out of the golem's hand, which I manage to grab before I cast fly and escape. Our druid had a field day trying to figure out the machinery I brought back, still one of my favorite Nat 20's. Felt so clutch.
We had a guy one hit a freaking dragon accidentally when he was trying to kill off a character he wasn't happy with. He threw an apple at it rolled a nat 20, we confirmed at that table and he got another nat 20. Just to tempt fate DM had him roll again.
Well after three nat twenties in a row, the gods obviously wanted that thing dead, and the character became one of those seekers of death B/C they just can't die types...
Man. Imagine a game of 2 Truths & A Lie with that PC...
@@nocount7517" two truths one lie
I love my friends
I have drunk alcohol
I killed a dragon with an apple"
"Come on you are meant to at least try to make it hard"
*Drinks ale* "whoops now its three truths"
@@hariodinio "wait... YOU KILLED A DRAGON WITH A APPLE?!"
I think my favorite was when I rolled ~25 to make "The four horsemeals of the eggporkalypse" of Parks and Rec fame. See, our whole party was just told by a goddess that we're incarnations of the other four goddesses in this world. Naturally, everyone was shaken up after this bombshell dropped, and so my character decided to go all out and make breakfast fit for a group of gods. The meal was so good that the full goddess stayed and gave us some guidance on what to do, and it lightened the mood for players and characters. It was really dumb and funny at first, but it genuinely became a great character and world moment for everyone.
this happened today, they were sailing and it was a long trip so they had a dance party. One of the players rolled a 18 for dance moves. I was the dm and I was dying laughing, trying to say "you dance so hard you knock some of the others to the ground" the player's character was a bard so shit checks out.
So basically the bard did a killer dance moves which killed the other competitors?
@@ap_trial666 yep, it was his way of killing his other character and switching to his newer more cursed one (cursed as in weird as fuck)
We got caught by the big bad's guards. I pointed and shouted hey look a pony! GM: * rolls insight for the guards and crit fails on one of them* ........oh for the love of.... so one of the guards turns around and yells pony!? Where!? After we killed the other guards the gm rolled again to see if that one guard was still distracted and crit failed again. GM: Unfortunately yes he is very much still distracted by the possibility of seeing that pony.
i was at a convention and got to play a one off campaign, my character was a homebrew demon race necromancer. in the campaign we were simply taxed with clearing an undead filled crypt, half way through, we came to a large room with a large amount of skeletons in it, and one larger and more decked out in gear than the rest, i rolled the lowest initiative, my part of 8 started battling the skeletons and after all my party and all the skeletons finished, it was finally my turn, out of a hunch, i walk right up to the main skeleton and casted "speak to dead" after the rolls, i spoke with the skeleton who told me that him and his companions in the room use to be soldiers in service to the king and were killed and resurrected as skeletons here by a lich who was the big bad of the dungeon, i then rolled a successful charisma check apologizing to the skeleton, and convinced him and his companions to rebel against the lich and aid our party in the rest of the dungeon, rest of the party were DUMBFOUNDED.
in the end our shear numbers SLAUGHTERED the lich before it even got a turn.
"yo this is a video now, HELL YEAH"
i feel that edit.
One of my players, a (homebrew) orc fighter, was waiting with the rest of the party in the tavern while they were waiting to be summoned by the mayor for a job. He decided he was going to get a bit tipsy and start “doing art”. I told him to roll unskilled “art rolls” for it, since he had no skills for it and no reason to have any past experience with it.
After 2 nat 20s, the fighter now has the “Moanin Lisa” and “Good Night” in his inventory, true works of art.
The dumbest thing my players ever rolled for? Sleight of hand to turn the inside of a windmill into a daylight disco in order to eviscerate two vampires. Both of whom separately counted as a deadly encounter (they weren't supposed to fight them yet). They punched holes into the walls and relayed the light with mirrors all through the inside of the building while the barbarian wrestled the vampires to stay in the sunlight. While also acing 4 consecutive DC17 wis saves with 7 wisdom to his name. It was at that time that I decided that the dice gods had just conspired against me to give my players an easy time of it
I’m excited because in little over a week I’m taking a week long vacation from work with my gf for our anniversary. We met through D&D (she in fact has seduced the DM lol). I’ll be proposing to her during the vacation!
Good Luck!
I realized I should leave an update in the replies here too and not just on the new video.
My dnd gf that I went on vacation with is now my fiancée! :D
@@anoneamose4866 You did it, you crazy son of a bleach...
No, seriously, good job dude.
@@tale7955 Thanks! Lol :D
@@anoneamose4866 congrats dude!
-I pull out a tooth.
-Roll a dentistry check!
Neuron activation: I hear "Blood God," I scream, "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!!"
*MILK FOR THE KHORNE FLAKES*
I literally persuated a magic chest to open itself for me
I’ve been booking more gigs lately and I really love what I’m doing right now. Thank you Brian for all that you do you’re truly a beacon of sunshine
> update
> 2 minutes ago
> It's about absolute bizarreness
LET'S GOOOOOOO!
So in my friend group's campaigns, we usually add an item called 'Mysterious Bread' into the campaign. When you eat a slice of Mysterious Bread, you roll a d20 to see what magical effect happens (Basically a mini wild magic surge table). After you eat a slice, you learn the recipe to make it.
So anyways, to the fun part.
We're playing a Norse themed campaign. Me and my party were in the tavern, to chill before going out on another mission (We had just got done killing a vampire, at level 3) one of the party members doesn't know how to make Mysterious Bread, so I roll to stuff the slice down his throat, nat 20. He turns invisible for 5 minutes, my other party member that has blindsight follows him and ties him up using his barbarian wild magic. I decide to cast grease, fail, had to roll on the wild magic table, and blipped into the Astral plain. (Next session I'll be going to Vanaheim to hopefully learn some more magic, possibly from Freya.)
The dumbest thing I roll for every once in a while is for my emotions. For example if i get roasted by a party member I'll roll a d20 and then say I take that many sadness points. I originally got the idea from a member of the first party I was ever part of when my first character ever died and he rolled for sadness and got a 1 Lao. Said he dident even notice I died until a they were burying me
The party was thrown in jail and sentenced to hard labor. I asked if I could sing 'I'll make a man out of you' while working. Nat 20. The DM ruled that not only did the rest of the prisoners joined in, but that my character would get a special bonus to performance while singing Disney songs
My group walked into a cavern "something " cast cone of silence on us then darkness. I asked if i could roll to let out a ripper. Nat 20 followed by a d4 roll for max damage. I was a goliath barbarian so you know it was bad. I couldn't stop laughing.
Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.
Oh, I got one! My Gnome Artificer ( the Revised UA version, about 3 years before Eberron rising) needed a mount, but I was too cheap to cough up the gold for one. So I ask my DM if there are sheep around, which he confirmed. So I wanted to do an animal handling check, to tame one of the rams. NAT 20 on the check and I was riding a majestic curly horned ram right next to my fellow murderhobos on horses. Since Gnomes are small and sheep medium sized, no problem. DM later had it eaten by a dragon of screen, but I kept its skeleton in my bag of holding till the day I was tortured into a catatonic state by a demon lord. Needless to say, the DM and I did not always see eye to eye, but the round is still going and right know I'm DMing.....
Enemy goes door to door checking to see if anyone is in the houses. Party member calls out "No one is here." Got two nat 20s because of disadvantage roll, and to add to the hilarity, the enemy got two nat 1s on the advantage roll.
i rolled to cast "detect crab" nat20. there was, indeed, a crab.
I can't stop buying rare, unreleased indie rap CDs. I'll be eating noodles for weeks, but the tunes are straight fire.
I mean I guess that it makes sense for the Goliath Barbarian/Fighter to be able to carry that cart without any trouble, but seriously that moment is too good.
This is my first campaign so I'm still learning the ropes. The dragonborn paladin in our party decided to roll to take a piss in the bathroom of the tavern we were in so our dm had him roll a strength check. Don't remember the roll but it was really high. Anyway he proceedes to rip off the crotch off his pants completely. Since my necromancer is proficient with tinkerers tools I rolled to see if I could repair the pants in the bathroom. Rolled a performance check to see if I could do it without it being an awkward homoerotic experience and rolled in the upper teens so I did so without making it weird. Only after walking out of the bathroom did I remember that I had mending :|
One time, we were trying to read an ancient scroll and everybody failed their history checks to see if they could read it. Our cleric got frustrated and said "just tell me what you say, damn scroll!" Our DM jokingly said "roll for persuasion". They did. Nat 20. The cleric had persuaded the scroll to give up a few of its secrets.
I do believe yall have read some of these before, especially the last one, sometime in the past year and a half or so. Felt awesome rehearing them. BLOOD GOD!!!
Not the dm, the player. I played a glorious Netherlandish (in our game its referred to as switzelandlevanian) wizard kensei monk and we have this rule where if you roll double nat 20s for a skill or attack or whatnot roll, you gain a permanent buff in a minor but viable way (the opposite also applies with double 1s).
The party was chasing after some sheep thieves on horseback. My character was the only one able to catch up thanks to unarmoured movement+mobile feat+longstrider+dash+bonus action dash. Once I caught up to the thief camp, I decided to use disguise self to dress up as one of those 2 person animal costumes to blend in with the heard of sheep. Rolled stealth, success. Decided to use the surprise to scare the thieves straight. Nat 20 intimidation, confirmed double 20s. My dm told me that rumors went around about a terrifying sheep demon with haunting red eyes and horrifying breaths. To the party however, this demon basically looked like Alucard from Castlevania wearing a loose fitting droopy sheep costume.
23:02... YES I WILL CERTAINLY WATCH.
My DM gave me an ultimatum when my player character, a triple classed level 9 beast of a high elf, came face to face with a beholder. At the time, I was separated from my group in a capitol city of the land we were traversing, and I ended up in a holy temple before the epic battle. I drank from the fountain, and it had the effect of increasing my max hp by 1d6. I rolled a natural 6, making my hit points an astounding 60, up from 54. I weaponize civilians around me, as I knew I was cornered in this temple as the beholder was wreaking havoc throughout the city street and making its way directly for us. The DM then called a break, and pulled me to the side. He said: "I'm gonna let you decide how you want to do this, because there is a very large possibility that you may fall in this battle, and I cant help you get out of this. You're cornered, I can't pull punches. You can either fight this thing as a group, with its health being set to 80. (DM decided 80hp was fair, due to it being post combat where the beholder took a divine smite and multiple other large attacks.) Or, I 1v1 the beholder at 50hp. One of my multi class trees is rogue, so I asked him, "most of my damage per turn is sneak attack. If I 1v1 him, how can I even possibly do that?" He gave me a hint, saying he will get to that. For a small bit of more context: this beholders name was zigbar, and he had multiple personalities controlling his physical body. I rolled a history check for their names, (we helped this beholder procure an amulet from one of his enemies a while back) and I successfully remembered the name of his calm personality and his evil wicked one. My DM gave me DM's inspiration, which his ruling is that when a player role plays to some of the best of their characters abilities, he can award it to us. I was a general of an army, and weaponizing a small militia, persuading them to pick up arms, and charging them into battle was the epitome of what my character stood for, and it was acknowledged and rewarded. This DM's inspiration was a single use guaranteed nat20. As I approached the beholder outside the temple, it used telepathy and disintegration rays to take care of everyone around us, aside from me and a peasant I gave a Longsword to. I spoke to its personality of murderous intent, and instructed my ally to speak to its gentle calm side at the same time. In doing so, I had to roll persuasion, and I successfully stunned this beholder twice, as it fought with itself internally, and we both, me and my ally, got within 5 feet of this beholder, and I used my god-given nat20 to strike the beholder eith my flame tongue scimitar, lit with flame and crackling with my 1d4 hemocraft damage type of lightning. (Class number 2: blood hunter.) I hit it for a combined damage of 42 in the single hit, not enough to kill it in one blow. But, luckily, the peasant got to attack. This untrained mad lad HIT THE BEHOLDER, and dealt like 2 or 3 damage to it, and rolled to successfully CUT OFF THE BEHOLDERS DISINTEGRATION RAY EYEBALL. I was PUMPED. But then, we had to roll initiative. I got a surprise attack to re-initiate the combat I escaped earlier, and rolled a nat 1 for initiative. The Beholder goes first. And hits me with a dark black ray. And he rolled.... 55 necrotic damage. The DM looked at me, sadly, and began to describe my character, falling, when I interjected: "I'm still up." "How much health do you have?" "5. Health. Left." Before I drank from the fountain, I prayed to the gods of whoever was worshipped in that temple, and thanked it for its blessings. The DM then spoke: "You just took a ray of death. And LIVED." Kind of stunned, I watched as he looked down at the book in front of him, and I'm guessing with the one eye cut off last turn, the beholder couldn't use his legendary action, and the turn rotation came to me. I used my superiority dice, (theres class number 3: fighter.) And added 3 to my roll to hit, rolling a total of 25 (15+7(dex mod)+3) and successfully landed the final blow on this beholder, thrusting my flaming blade, ending its life, and becoming a living legend, alongside this commoner who stood by me even in reluctance to do so. (I was a lycan blood hunter, in beast form, so nobody was super interested in aiding me.) Our parties Tiefling Player, before the battle ensued, said out loud: "If you kill this thing, we will tell your story forever." And I did. Every roll on that table surmounted to a swift and legendary battle between Tornir and Harold, and Zigbar the Deranged Beholder. And if a single roll of the die had cast a different number, Tornir would be dead. When I first began playing Dungeons and Dragons, people used to tell me: "The dice tell a story!" And by god... They Do.
Edit: this was literally the stupidest situation Tornir ever got himself Into, and I feel as though even though it wasn't a single roll for something dumb, it was a dire situation that if any single thing was different, I'd have failed and fallen. I succeeded, when the DM looked me in the eye and told me Tornir's time might have come. And that... to me, is worth the story.
Just one like? For a story this good there certainly should be more!
That bleed dagger would be super handy on maple trees and sell the maple syrup.
One of the party members that I'm a Ayer for has a "core of the world fragment" (homebrew) that acts as a +1 magic staff with added effects, one such being that if someone touches it while not being attuned to it must make a con/wis save or be knocked out for a turn. My barely sentient barbarian (intelligence 6) gets poked by it and I roll a nat 20. Thus spawning the in joke that I'm too dumb to effect my mind.
I was playing in a campaign with a group of friends as a half elf bard. We were on a ship and one of the shipmates fell off into the ocean. We were looking around and we couldn’t see much, but we could see a dark silhouette in the water. We couldn’t really think of what to do but I asked my dm if I could roll to try and animate the clothes of the person we were looking for and bring him out of the water. Nat 20. Everyone starts laughing as I think I may have spoiled some plans on how we were to get down to the person if there was some way. The person gets lifted out of the water onto the ship and all there was was a shirt and a chest. I am shocked and everyone starts to laugh as I immediately ask “was my music that powerful??” They said no as it was like that before, but for a moment all I had in my head was a body floating in the ocean and all of a sudden “ZOOM” there goes the chest leaving the rest of everything to stay😂.
Rolled to fail to kill an npc. We found out the guy was a good guy and not evil like we thought
Long story, but my character was trying to kill themself by getting absurdly drunk, eating 13 raw eggs, and chugging a flask of alchemist fire. DM had me roll Con saves and I - by some miracle miracle - aced all of them. Finally, my character literally just drowned themself.
This was all in my control, by the way, it was just bizarre to me that they lived for as long as they did.
DM'd a one shot where the Divination Wizard/Wild Magic Sorcerer Hobgoblin near the end of his life used a sorcerer spell on purpose to trigger the Wild Magic Surge... got the effect: "Roll 1d10. On an odd number, you become that many years younger. On an even number, you become that many years older."
Rolled an 8.
"Ok," I said, "roll 1d100 to see if you die from the shock of being aged rapidly."
Rolled a 1.
Cue several minutes of hysterical laughter as this powerful mage who kills powerful enemies dies of a sudden heart attack from their own magic backfiring horrendously.
“I DONT NEGOTIATE WITH COMMUNISTS!!”
Me: damn ok I’m leaving !
I once used Dispel Magic to get rid of an Orb of Annihilation. Rolled a Nat 20. Got the whole party then trapped in a black hole dimension. That was a fun one, to say the least.
A very standard Homebrew based off of 4e. The party I was DMing for got to a cliff, and the rogue/assassin elf, our most acrobatic member, decided to peak over the cliff to take in the view.
Our heavily armored, 1 ton (literally one ton, without the armor) half-giant says “I want to sneak up behind Elf and push them off the cliff” so I say “roll dex for stealth, Elf roll for perception.”
The half-giant gets a nat20 and Elf gets a nat1. “Elf was so overwhelmed by the beautiful scenery that he didn’t notice Giant sneaking up on him, despite the clanking armor and footsteps that shoot the earth. Giant pushed Elf off the cliff, who promptly fell hundreds of feet into some jagged rocks.”
The human cleric, holding a Coin of Resurrection (a Homebrew item that, if flipped and lands on heads, can revive someone immediately. If tails, the coin will dissolve and the person will remain dead until another coin is flipped and it lands on heads) says “I try to manipulate how the coin lands as I flip it.”
I chuckle, knowing that the cleric, or clerics in general, aren’t really good at party tricks, but I roll with it. “Roll… what’s your lowest stat again?” Because I really wanted the Elf to learn a lesson. Actually we all thought the series of events was hilarious, no one was mad or even annoyed.
“My lowest attribute is perception.” Which actually worked out, because I was going to choose Perception or Dex for this in any other situation
“Roll the dice, man!”
He rolls a nat1. Elf remained dead for 2 sessions until they could save up enough money to by more coins of resurrection.
start of the session getting stoned end of the session getting stoned
Our wizard was annoying me in and ooc so I rolled to grapple. This lead to the group giving the wizard a swirly. She didn't enjoy it lol
My older brother's Paladin accidentally stabbed a shop keeper, he panicked and did CPR for a Stab wound to save his life
Nat 20(and DM thought it funny) saved the guy and wound dissapeared.
What lead up to this was the rogue stole a Purple stuffed animal that looked like a beholder, it used to be the keeper's late wife's. Keeper gets upset and prepps a fireball, my character ducks out of the way while the Paladin stabs the guy, forgetting to call out nonlethal.
White wolf campaign: we're in a space station trying to find the reason for it being deserted and sending out a distress signal. The GM was really frustrated that we were not progressing downward in the station like he'd intended, so he finally had an NPC show up only to get stabbed by the rogue robots and a metal infection starting up their arm, just to point us in the right direction
we were by a med lab. Another player tried to chuck the NPC in the med chair and "heal" the arm with medical and tech rolls since that's what the situation called for. BAD botch. the GM smirkingly said the arm was now ruined. The guy was dying from blood loss. We'd invested in this NPC now so we managed to make a save to stop them dying, but the GM was all "so sad, missing their arm and so much blood they won't talk now"
one other player is like "wait, this is like, the main medbay right?"
"yeah?"
"so that means there's a morgue attached."
"I... guess so?"
"Cool, let's grab an arm from there and attach it to this guy!"
There was an outright refusal by the GM. The original botching player didn't want to risk their luck again, so I was like "I roll to try". I got the biggest success you could imagine, so big the GM couldn't deny the tactic working. So the spiteful comment? We attached a beef arm to a tiny nerd.
Dude's not one-handed and dying of metal infection anymore. It was hilarious!
I once rolled a Medicine roll to harvest a corpse for bones to use as a weapon. Got a femur that works as a dagger. Giving my character a Medicine proficiency came in clutch. The party's paladin reacted in shock and horror, so I told the party that my character, the party's wizard, just shrugged. She's not exactly a paragon of virtue, but she still believes in good causes.
So this was actually back when I first got into D&D. We were playing 3.5 and tbh I was needlessly shy with my character. I had a name I used for everything in game and for minor profile names. My DM had a knack for breaking the ice and during character creation we rolled stats for looks and shlong length. Nothing important just a first laugh that honesty worked. I want to guess the original stats but I think it was 6/10 with 8 inches. Later down the road at a bar I was waiting for the party. I ended up drinking a high level wizard’s drink without realizing… or caring. As a joke he temporarily changed my gender. At first it was funny until I took a swing at the wizard… Nat 1. The way the DM described it he got his original drink and made the change permanent before some snarky remark. I kinda laughed it off asking “wait, can I reroll looks?”
He laughed and handed me the dice… now my very first character, new name that I honestly don’t remember, 10/10 babe with Double D’s. The table took a bit to calm down from the laughter. Honestly still one of the funniest moments
Npc bar owner and bartender had just had a son and he wanted the party that saved him (us) to name it. Two players were arguing on who gets to name it and they decided to throw darts in the bar. The first one rolled high it was 17 or something similar and he sneakered when he saw the dice. The other player takes the dice and says "wait for it" he rolls and it's nat 20 and dm said your dart punctured his dart. Well that's how we have "luck wait for it briar" his middle name "is wait for it". His father passed by away due to old age leaving luck the briar's luck bar which was used as the base of operations of the party for the whole rest of the campaign.
Was going through a series of traps and the GM gave me a choice whether to roll to dodge out of a crushing pillar's area or to power through it. My character's the power type, so I went with that and rolled really high. Didn't realize the DCs weren't the same for both actions, so when I overloaded the mechanism I felt really incredible until I tried to do the same thing to the next similar trap I came across, and in my hubris, I wound up breaking my character's leg attempting a feat that shouldn't have worked the first time.
That last story was amazing.
Not a DM but a player. Me and my party are traveling some snowy place. (Can't remember what the snowy place is or what it's called.) And we suddenly encounter a yeti. A bit of background I'm a half orc fighter. A thief/wizard bird guy? Can't remember the race. A goblin sorcerer? I think? And someone else. Our thief/wizard went to scout ahead to look for something. Then... The yeti appeared. I was in the cart so I had to go outside to see what was up. The fight was deadly. Our goblin died. Our wizard/thief heads back to help us. And I was immune to the cold damaging thing. (Thank you ring of warmth.) And he nearly died... After that... I'm going to get rested for sure.
So I'm running storm kings thunder and I had just played in a rime of the frostmaiden game so decided to reference my old character. She is a silver dragonborn who is a lv 20 circle of the moon druid and one of my lv 5 players convinced her to join the party to go Adventuring again. They are now dating he is a silver half-dragon in his 20s and she is a polimorphed adult silver dragon (she was in her 20s so they are basicallythe same age). She basically used true Polymorph and clone to make her a true dragon but the players character doesn't know she is a dragon.
Me and my friend had to find a wizard sabotaging the town’s food supply. He (Borgesous the Obese) throws me (Bubby the Gnome) into a random wizard’s house through the window. I roll for stealth, nat20.
Picture this.
A wizard hears a window breaking in his house, and goes to investigate. A rouge gnome (with, may I add, puke green colored hair that is shaped like a lobster) is completely invisible behind a small twig, and the wizard doesn’t even realize that his window is broken nor remember hearing his window break. Eventually, the wizard dies from Borgesous using the ring of jumping to crush the house.
Was playing a new campaign and my sister wanted to play with the big kids. So we let her she got an animal companion. She wanted a unicorn I said okay if you roll this die (d20) and get a 20 you can have any creature in the monster manual as a companion. She rolled a nat and chose a unicorn. But I was sweating my balls off at the time she would change her mind and choose something nasty like a tarasque. But looking back at it I'm disappointed she didn't choose a tarasque it would have been an interesting campaign
I was playing as a Kumiho (Homebrew Concept) Long Death Monk with my Party was trying to gain information from a dock worker that wanted alcohol for the information. Prior to this session, I read an article about someone brewing whisky made out of a diabetic elderly person's urine so as my CHAOTIC NEUTRAL Character, I made her pee into an empty beer bottle without my Party Members noticing (but the Players heard) and handed the bottle to the dock worker saying it's beer. Despite my Character having Charisma 6 (Charisma Check Mod of -2), I rolled a NAT 20 and the dock worker took it and immediately drank it in front of us and gave us the information we needed. While the DM admitted that the dock worker was dumb and drunk and the Charisma Check I needed was lower than what I had, it sure became awkward with my Party Members from her on out. XD
Deadass rolled to default dance on the boss I one shot. Got a 20. The boss woke up momentarily and started crying. Slowly melting.
Party of *8*. The party was shocked I had reached that level of disrespect. I had even met a god and flipped them off.
I also burned a fourth of the huge capital city- because of y'know, orphans. (I was a knock off Technoblade)
I was not allowed to be anything else than Chaotic Evil.
The campaign was fun. 💀✌
Playing a sea campaign.
We just stole a ship (after the original ship owners tried to kill us) and were making our way to port. End up getting caught up in a storm.
Everyone except our barbarian (my mom's character) rolled well enough not to get sick.
Our poor barbarian was puking his guts up (Mom rolled a Nat 1) during the storm.
No one wants to go into the mad bay and order the barbarian to clean it up once the storm ended.
Mom rolled two Nat 20s in a row. That room was SPARKLING! Her barbarian is now obsessed with bleach and is our janitor. 😂
When I played Pathfinder for the first time our cleric fed a Barbazu a Lemure roast topped with a red Imp sauce and a side of salad made from a Yellow Musk Creeper... Then he turned the Barbazu into a sausage.
PANR has tuned in.
I asked someone out this morning, and they said yes 😄
These are good videos to listen to during the days you don’t have dnd but want to play dnd
Also your audio quality is good and clear so I can go to sleep to these videos without them having to be super loud.
Haven't played DnD yet but I can't wait to do so
Once in a random DND thing that I was doing in Roblox, the 2 people who were playing kept getting low rolls, so they decided to do random things (like swimming) for a few turns because it wouldn't result in bad things as much.
On the first turn that they did random things..
They rolled a 20.
I personally do not punish my players for smoking the various herbs that my homebrew world is rich and abundant in. Not mugwort though.
The party came across a locked door with no lockpicks, so I decided to try lockpicking with my claws, I am a dragonborn, Meowth from Pokémon style.
I mean its not a suceed but its still funny. I was playing a low intelligence Kobold and my bard said a funny joke. I asked if I understood the joke to laugh about it, and the dm made me roll Int. I got a 1...-1 is 0. He gave me 2 free minutes to say whatever I wanted for my Kobold.
I basically ended up having a seizure in the floor and bleeding from my nose, eyes and ears cause I used all my mental capabilities...to not understand a joke :D
In 1 game we were trying to locate a criminal organization that was making faulty products like meats cheese and magic weapons. Day 1 we couldn't find any leads but in the night someone suspicious went by my carriage. We pin him down and I go through his stuff and I find paper pencil etc but also a large wheel of cheese. With the cheese being the oddball item in the bag I roll to inspect the cheese and got a nat 20. I learn it was cheddar and starting to go bad at the corner.
I was playing a Goliath bard. Our party was just in a government building, don't remember why. There was a framed document on the wall and I walked over to it. My DM told me to roll Int
Nat 20
Turns out I just read that it was just the building permit lol
My friend once rolled for a dance battle against a lich king and won.
"I don't negotiate with communists!"
Nor should you.
Roll to throw a Gnome Nat 20 perfect spiral like a american football
Another decides to roll to catch the Gnome Nat 20
"TOUCH DOWN!" Thats how we killed a PC on his first session
spend a hole evening convincing Goblins I am their new king (I play a Half-orc) my DM let me roll everytime i said something to the goblins and everytime i suceeded, even when we went to their actual leader. I told the Goblins to hold their old boss and i killed him. Mind you this probably only worked out because I am able to speak goblin, which my DM will probably never forget again.
“ become the blood god” ? No it’s “ blood for the blood god” - tecnoblade
To put how I’m doing in one word, *school*
Me:
Subscribes and has bell on
RUclips:
Guess he wants to see that Video 2 days after upload🤷🏽♂️
Some DMS be taking this shit too serious
This is kinda the opposite, but I once rolled to jump on a bed and rolled a natural 1.
Did you split your head on the footboard?
@@jacob3988 All the DM described in response was a very sorry look and the words "You don't make it on the bed."
These would be more believable if you replaced the "Rolled a Nat 20 on an ABILITY check segments" with "Rolled *Insert very high number of a value above 20 but not exceeding 30 without the use of expertise or magic items.* "
i once had a revenant tracking me and trying to kill me, when i got into a confrontation with it i threw my bag of holding over its head and tried to force it into my bag. my DM told me id have to roll a strength check against the revenant to see if i was strong enough to force it in, nat 20. I forced his ass in and stabbed the bag of holding with my sword (which scatters all the contents of my bag into the astral plane) forcing him into the Astral plane. oh and if you dont know 1 day in the astral plane is roughly equal to 1000 years in the normal plane of existence so the revenant had nearly no time relative to his year to kill me.
Me and my group had to inspect a massive spider problem for this village my friend a human paladin was terrified of spiders so I a Halfling bard scouted ahead while he waited at the city I simply ran out of sight and yelled oh there’s so many there so big then went silent he just said nope and turned around
11:00 I like this zombie
We were in a dungeon and came across an undead mage that was wearing cursed robes of uselessness . We defeated him and looted the robes. Later in the same dungeon we came across a Desmond with very high strength, dexterity, and constitution. My character decided to jump over the demon and drop the robe onto it. Athletics check nat 20 attack nat 20. In one move I took away half of its hit points, half of it’s AC, and half of its strength.
Yesterday when i laid on a bench in the fields nearby my home, a butterfly landed on my hand and didnt leave me for 15 minutes eventhough he switched hands multiple times
He's called rupert now
Huh. Just realized how weird it is that most sharp weapons can't actually cause bleeding in TTRPGs.
So this was at the end of the lost Mines of Phandelver campaign my friend was running and we got to the final boss room preparing for an epic fight when the DM’s younger brother playing a human Cleric decided to be funny and tried to kill him with the power of Christ even though his cleric prayed to some astral god. (For the record no he’s not religious he’s just an idiot).
Anyway The DM took stuff like that seriously sometimes since he thinks it’s fun and the Cleric ha s to do three seperate s roles for things I can’t remember but gets a 17, 19 and a Nat 20 and the BBEG and his 2 bugbear guards died instantly by the power of Christ no we sat there laughing our asses off for 10 minutes.
To this day we still talk about the Cleric who killed a BBEG with the power of a god who didn’t even exist in DND.
TL;DR: We asked to Kill a man with the power of Christ as a joke and Succeeded causing one the best running jokes in our friend group.
Dont lie we all thought the draugr woyld put in the helm anyway
i stabbed a basilisk directly in the eye to blind it and diddn't got turned into stone xD
First time playing. Rolled a nat 20 to dick tat the king. Was promptly killed in the arena for that.
Are yes “I don’t negotiate with communist”