I like when you said, “our anger is not a tool to try to get somebody to change. Our anger is a signal that something is wrong.” Use the signal & solve the problem without sinning. That is eye opening.
This is great explanation. But when the anger is built up overtime for years, it is extremely hard to get rid off all those anger. But it is possible. Healing is possible if you have the right tools and you are in the right recovery groups. Sometime you have to be in more than one group for your healing. Keep God with you, He will help you to heal. Don't give up.
I was judged and accused because I asked why the burner was on. I was shocked and the more angry they got. So I left the home and they asked me to come back. They apologized but continued to feel like they were right to be angry at me. So I left again because the anger came back. It spiraled out again and I asked them the stop over and over again they kept pushing my buttons. He turned it around after some time and I got angry. Then he blamed me as he started acting cool as a cucumber. We are separated now because I finally got angry back
Brilliant. This video has been popping up on RUclips and I’ve kept ignoring…..then yesterday I had a surge or anger blaming someone for taking something from me (just in my head) I was flaming!! Then I found the item in Question and felt riddled with guilt. Why did I blame them with zero evidence. So have now watched this video. It’s great. I’ve been trying to add that space between stimulus and response for a few months but it is still hard to add the gap in when an emotion comes up.
One of the side effects of recovery is the signal of anger and allowing yourself to feel it…which is good but it’s so hard when you don’t know what to do with it
❤ Wonderful teaching of another very much needed emotional life skill. Appreciate your life-changing instructions. So thankful for your compassion and mercy which motivates you to help people.
Love this. My Anger is... I Think.. Less about my trying to control... I'm not exactly sure how to describe it, but... ... I project alot... When something goes wrong... I get angry because of things from my past. ) : So ashamed of this. And that dynamic is at work in Other areas as well. But God is Healing me. Jesus is my healer. And the Holy Spirit. It is written, The Lord is Restoring Health back unto me. And it is written, I Shall not Die, but Live, and Proclaim the Works of the Lord.
Anger is ok. It’s a signal. Impulsive anger actions like a fool, quick explosive reactionary. What’s wrong? I can be upset, but what’s wrong could be defensive anger in me.
@@joyofsalvation100Sorry, also, because you totally are missing the question. In trauma and CPTSD much of surviving results in amnesia or loss of memory. Flight, fight.or freeze. When one cannot fight, cannot flight, the only thing left is for one to freeze. In freeze state, to survive, memory is many times blocked. "How do you find the root causing the anger, when you have no memory. One has subconscious anger. Anyone could connect the dots when they know what the cause is already. My question is How do you find the root cause when you have subconscious anger?
@@ppratt9834 What you are talking about is serious traumas that needs serious intervention through qualified therapist. But the right recovery group can help too. The video talks about how to deal with anger and how to understand why you are angry. There are different types of anger and everyone is affected differently with different levels of traumas In a severe case, you won't be able to help yourself. You need a competent therapist plus a recovery group.
I like when you said, “our anger is not a tool to try to get somebody to change. Our anger is a signal that something is wrong.” Use the signal & solve the problem without sinning. That is eye opening.
Narcissists are masters at using anger as a tool to manipulate,control,intimidate their preys
Great video. They should discuss/teach this in schools. So much valuable insight and delivered with humorous examples that make us reflect. Thank you.
This is great explanation. But when the anger is built up overtime for years, it is extremely hard to get rid off all those anger. But it is possible. Healing is possible if you have the right tools and you are in the right recovery groups. Sometime you have to be in more than one group for your healing. Keep God with you, He will help you to heal. Don't give up.
@joyofsalvation100 - Thank you for this comment.
"More than one group" - loved that part.
I was judged and accused because I asked why the burner was on. I was shocked and the more angry they got. So I left the home and they asked me to come back. They apologized but continued to feel like they were right to be angry at me. So I left again because the anger came back. It spiraled out again and I asked them the stop over and over again they kept pushing my buttons. He turned it around after some time and I got angry. Then he blamed me as he started acting cool as a cucumber. We are separated now because I finally got angry back
Brilliant.
This video has been popping up on RUclips and I’ve kept ignoring…..then yesterday I had a surge or anger blaming someone for taking something from me (just in my head) I was flaming!! Then I found the item in Question and felt riddled with guilt. Why did I blame them with zero evidence.
So have now watched this video. It’s great. I’ve been trying to add that space between stimulus and response for a few months but it is still hard to add the gap in when an emotion comes up.
If it makes you feel any better Dr Cloud and the RUclips algorithm are also reading my mail lol
One of the side effects of recovery is the signal of anger and allowing yourself to feel it…which is good but it’s so hard when you don’t know what to do with it
I just listened three times to this. The third time I took notes, haha. Excellent!😊
So much wisdom and so practical! Thank you
❤ Wonderful teaching of another very much needed emotional life skill. Appreciate your life-changing instructions. So thankful for your compassion and mercy which motivates you to help people.
Thank you Dr. Cloud. You are truly a blessing
Love this.
My Anger is... I Think.. Less about my trying to control...
I'm not exactly sure how to describe it, but... ...
I project alot...
When something goes wrong... I get angry because of things from my past.
) :
So ashamed of this.
And that dynamic is at work in Other areas as well.
But God is Healing me. Jesus is my healer. And the Holy Spirit.
It is written, The Lord is Restoring Health back unto me.
And it is written, I Shall not Die, but Live, and Proclaim the Works of the Lord.
THANK YOU!!!! God Bless!’
Anger is ok. It’s a signal. Impulsive anger actions like a fool, quick explosive reactionary. What’s wrong? I can be upset, but what’s wrong could be defensive anger in me.
That was amazing! Thank you Dr. Cloud!
How do we discern whether the anger stimulus is internal or external?
Always such good advice,, do- able..
thankyou so much.
Without Trust there can be no Intimacy
Only God is powerful and we show respect to others
13:54 (narcissist screams at children and spouse)
Thank you Dr Cloud why don't we have a Dr Cloud in South Africa?
So enjoy all your clips! And Teachings..
We don’t talk w him in person; we just learn online like you!
What about victim oppression Dr. Henry Cloud? Yes, really bad way to live.
Dr Cloud looks like he could be Javier Bardem’s older brother.
Watching the replay 4/21/2022
I’m shaking
With subconscious anger, how does one find the root cause?
Root cause is your unresolved past traumas whether in childhood growing up years or as a teenager or as a grown up, you are hurt by someone.
The question was "how do you find the root cause?" You answered, "what is the root cause". Not helpful.
@@ppratt9834 Sorry it is not helpful. But if you know what causes then you find there.
@@joyofsalvation100Sorry, also, because you totally are missing the question. In trauma and CPTSD much of surviving results in amnesia or loss of memory. Flight, fight.or freeze. When one cannot fight, cannot flight, the only thing left is for one to freeze. In freeze state, to survive, memory is many times blocked. "How do you find the root causing the anger, when you have no memory. One has subconscious anger. Anyone could connect the dots when they know what the cause is already. My question is How do you find the root cause when you have subconscious anger?
@@ppratt9834 What you are talking about is serious traumas that needs serious intervention through qualified therapist. But the right recovery group can help too.
The video talks about how to deal with anger and how to understand why you are angry. There are different types of anger and everyone is affected differently with different levels of traumas
In a severe case, you won't be able to help yourself. You need a competent therapist plus a recovery group.
Sounds like he has all the flying monkeys on his side 😅
4RRREAL!
Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist Abuse is wrong