I work at a customer service desk where I handle a lot of complaints, returns, angry phone calls, etc. and this information from you is very helpful. I appreciate your compassionate perspective, thank you.
Silence is a wonderful tool. I was the customer service supervisor and I once had a customer call me and just start screaming and swearing at me. I realized I couldn't get a word in edgewise, so I just sat back and sipped my coffee and listened. After a few minutes, the customer said, "That son of a bitch hung up on me." I calmly said, "No, ma'am, I didn't." She sighed and said, "Oh, my God, you probably should have." Now that she had gotten the anger off her chest and with her reflecting on how inappropriate her behavior had been, she was ready to listen, and we resolved the situation to mutual benefit in about 30 seconds.
Thank you Dr Snipes for sharing this video I was in need to listen to how to deescalate. When my wife and I argue, I usually escalate the argument and my anger gets out of hand. My anger in this case usually leads me to having thoughts of self-loathing and self-harm. When I'm able to ground myself through deep breathing or muscle relaxation, I calm myself down and it gets easier to communicate because once I am calm I am able to act out of my wise mind.
Did you try to change their mind, try to get them to stop feeling what they were feeling, make them "wrong" in some way? Or, did you get curious, hold space for them, empathize (and verbalize compassionately) with the underlying deeper emotion (powerlessness, hopelessness, hurt, etc)? Too often, when people end up walking away often...they didn't know how to properly meet people where they were. They were trying to get the person to feel/be different. That'll always escalate things...as the person feels even more disempowered, unheard, unseen and misunderstood. I've seen people think they knew how to de-escalate...only to peel back the layers and see they were pouring gasoline on a fire, with their techniques. It takes humility and vulnerability, to de escalate...
Is this your preferred method compared to others? I am unclear if this is presented as an option or the proper, clinical way. NLP techniques, as one gexample of many - would initially matching tone, tempo, creating a temporary anchor, and using passive gesticulation, not be as effective in de-escalation as the format you've mentioned? I do understand it may be more difficult to create an anchor in a crisis intervention, but the environment is always common ground. Is the method you presented more of a clinical standard for confined or housed individuals? I'm no psychologist, nor am I trying to one-up any info in your excellent video. I'm asking with genuine curiosity. You seem to have a lot of real experience, making me think your opinion would be helpful in that regard. Thank you for the video!
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment and for engaging with the content in such a meaningful way! The approach I shared in the video is one that is often recommended in clinical settings for de-escalating individuals experiencing a crisis. It’s important to emphasize that there isn’t a “one-size-fits-all” solution, and the method I described is a foundational technique aimed at ensuring safety and creating an environment where the person in crisis feels heard and validated. Regarding NLP techniques like matching tone, tempo, and creating anchors, these can indeed be effective in de-escalation when applied appropriately. However, the challenge, as you mentioned, is that during a crisis intervention, especially when the individual may feel unsafe or out of control, it may not be feasible or ethical to manipulate the environment or interactions in ways that could be perceived as insincere or manipulative. In those moments, the priority is to establish trust and safety as quickly as possible, which often involves being straightforward and grounded rather than employing more advanced NLP methods. The method I presented is aligned more closely with crisis intervention standards commonly used in confined or residential settings but is adaptable for various environments. The focus remains on immediate stabilization and helping the individual regain a sense of control. I appreciate your genuine curiosity and the respect you’ve shown in your question. It’s clear you’ve put a lot of thought into your response. What has your experience been when using NLP techniques in high-stress or crisis situations? Have you found certain strategies particularly effective or challenging?
"Offer them a piece of gum". Not only is it a nerve stimulation, but it is a simple act of connection. When I was first training to be a counselor, we were advised to light a cigarette and hand it to the client. Of course, the second I got my first job in the field, they banned smoking there. Oh, well...
When somebody offers me something or asks for a favor, I say no. Saying yes gives them control over me & I won't let another control me! Then they pull the but you haven't heard the favor. Of course I don't want to hear the favor because I know the game! The favor benifits them not me. If they persist, I test them. What's in it for me? Sometimes they bite & offer a reward for the favor, then I say give me the reward & I'll consider the favor! What I'm doing is running the game back on them. I don't like it when people play games with me. I can't think why I need to be deescalated! Oh customer service on the phone & english is their second language. They are overly polite & never fix the problem!
It seems like dr.phil gets to the root of drama is by getting everyone involved into the same room with a mediation and they confront one another face to face
If you are right with God, I feel like you don’t need all these techniques. Techniques are just ways of manipulating people. If it comes natural to you then you are likely closer to God.
DocSnipes.com/crisis
Docsnipes.com/Empathy
allceus.com/crisis-ceu
I work at a customer service desk where I handle a lot of complaints, returns, angry phone calls, etc. and this information from you is very helpful. I appreciate your compassionate perspective, thank you.
Silence is a wonderful tool. I was the customer service supervisor and I once had a customer call me and just start screaming and swearing at me. I realized I couldn't get a word in edgewise, so I just sat back and sipped my coffee and listened. After a few minutes, the customer said, "That son of a bitch hung up on me." I calmly said, "No, ma'am, I didn't." She sighed and said, "Oh, my God, you probably should have."
Now that she had gotten the anger off her chest and with her reflecting on how inappropriate her behavior had been, she was ready to listen, and we resolved the situation to mutual benefit in about 30 seconds.
This is helpful that’s why walking away and not engaging can be a great de escalation technique. Thank you 🤔❤🇺🇸
Thank you Dr Snipes for sharing this video I was in need to listen to how to deescalate. When my wife and I argue, I usually escalate the argument and my anger gets out of hand. My anger in this case usually leads me to having thoughts of self-loathing and self-harm. When I'm able to ground myself through deep breathing or muscle relaxation, I calm myself down and it gets easier to communicate because once I am calm I am able to act out of my wise mind.
You’re so welcome, Bill. As always, I am grateful to be of help and I am grateful for you being here and watching videos
Great videos I appreciate them. I watch them with my children
🙂🙂 That is awesome. Thanks for sharing. Wishing you, peace, health, and, happiness.
Great video! I’m a crisis counselor so I really really appreciate this video. It is very helpful.
Glad the video was helpful. Thanks for watching.
Thank you for sharing this no nonsense practical way of helping. You just got a new subscriber 👏
As an elementary school teacher, this video is gold! Thank you so much for sharing!
You’re most welcome! Thanks for watching
This hit home thank you! 🙏🏿
You’re welcome. Thanks for watching!
Thank you. I needed this.
🙂Welcome.
I struggle with this almost every day!!
Great Information Dear Dr Snipe's👌💐😊
Thanks a ton
Love this Doc!! 🙂🕊💜
Ty
Thank you!
Thanks found this helpful
This is pretty much how I've felt my whole life
Super thanks!
Our pleasure!
Had a few too many verbal crisis situations and I choose to walk away even though I tried really hard to defuse the anger... It's exhausting
Thanks for watching!
Did you try to change their mind, try to get them to stop feeling what they were feeling, make them "wrong" in some way?
Or, did you get curious, hold space for them, empathize (and verbalize compassionately) with the underlying deeper emotion (powerlessness, hopelessness, hurt, etc)?
Too often, when people end up walking away often...they didn't know how to properly meet people where they were. They were trying to get the person to feel/be different.
That'll always escalate things...as the person feels even more disempowered, unheard, unseen and misunderstood.
I've seen people think they knew how to de-escalate...only to peel back the layers and see they were pouring gasoline on a fire, with their techniques.
It takes humility and vulnerability, to de escalate...
Some comments escalate a situation, are attacks on people with the disguise of offering advice and some are not.🍀
@Juliette... You have a right to feel the way you feel.
You have probably learnt a thing or two. Its a positive thing you tried. I bet you somewhat made them change their mind.
Is this your preferred method compared to others? I am unclear if this is presented as an option or the proper, clinical way.
NLP techniques, as one gexample of many - would initially matching tone, tempo, creating a temporary anchor, and using passive gesticulation, not be as effective in de-escalation as the format you've mentioned? I do understand it may be more difficult to create an anchor in a crisis intervention, but the environment is always common ground.
Is the method you presented more of a clinical standard for confined or housed individuals?
I'm no psychologist, nor am I trying to one-up any info in your excellent video. I'm asking with genuine curiosity. You seem to have a lot of real experience, making me think your opinion would be helpful in that regard.
Thank you for the video!
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment and for engaging with the content in such a meaningful way! The approach I shared in the video is one that is often recommended in clinical settings for de-escalating individuals experiencing a crisis. It’s important to emphasize that there isn’t a “one-size-fits-all” solution, and the method I described is a foundational technique aimed at ensuring safety and creating an environment where the person in crisis feels heard and validated.
Regarding NLP techniques like matching tone, tempo, and creating anchors, these can indeed be effective in de-escalation when applied appropriately. However, the challenge, as you mentioned, is that during a crisis intervention, especially when the individual may feel unsafe or out of control, it may not be feasible or ethical to manipulate the environment or interactions in ways that could be perceived as insincere or manipulative. In those moments, the priority is to establish trust and safety as quickly as possible, which often involves being straightforward and grounded rather than employing more advanced NLP methods.
The method I presented is aligned more closely with crisis intervention standards commonly used in confined or residential settings but is adaptable for various environments. The focus remains on immediate stabilization and helping the individual regain a sense of control.
I appreciate your genuine curiosity and the respect you’ve shown in your question. It’s clear you’ve put a lot of thought into your response. What has your experience been when using NLP techniques in high-stress or crisis situations? Have you found certain strategies particularly effective or challenging?
"Offer them a piece of gum". Not only is it a nerve stimulation, but it is a simple act of connection. When I was first training to be a counselor, we were advised to light a cigarette and hand it to the client. Of course, the second I got my first job in the field, they banned smoking there. Oh, well...
Thanks for watching the video and sharing
When somebody offers me something or asks for a favor, I say no. Saying yes gives them control over me & I won't let another control me! Then they pull the but you haven't heard the favor. Of course I don't want to hear the favor because I know the game! The favor benifits them not me. If they persist, I test them. What's in it for me? Sometimes they bite & offer a reward for the favor, then I say give me the reward & I'll consider the favor! What I'm doing is running the game back on them. I don't like it when people play games with me. I can't think why I need to be deescalated! Oh customer service on the phone & english is their second language. They are overly polite & never fix the problem!
All police departments need to watch this!!!
Thank you. Please feel free to share the video with those interested
@@DocSnipes Carlsbad police department in NM really needs a email from you!!! You could teach them so much.
Thanks!
Better add at least one more zero $20.00
Welcome.
Thanks 😊
Welcome 😊
It seems like dr.phil gets to the root of drama is by getting everyone involved into the same room with a mediation and they confront one another face to face
Thanks for watching!
dr bill is a joke!
If someone is really angry and there is already a table between you, leave it that way. Use of structure
Thanks for watching the video
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻😊
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Thanks for watching.
I thought (wrong) that you should match energy. No success with that.
If you are right with God, I feel like you don’t need all these techniques. Techniques are just ways of manipulating people. If it comes natural to you then you are likely closer to God.