Top 4 Things NOT To Say To Someone With Depression

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  • Опубликовано: 30 окт 2024

Комментарии • 3,1 тыс.

  • @DrJulie
    @DrJulie  Год назад +383

    Hi I'm Dr. Julie subscribe & follow me for lots more videos on mental health and psychology.
    For more on this see my new no.1 bestselling book - Why has nobody told me this before?
    👉 linktr.ee/drjuliesmith

    • @trudymartens8844
      @trudymartens8844 Год назад +6

      What do u do with someone who wants to harm herself

    • @Emerald_Witch13
      @Emerald_Witch13 Год назад +5

      Also never say that harming themselves is a selfish act

    • @Rilia_15
      @Rilia_15 Год назад +5

      Hi. I feel that I have depression but I'm not sure how to ask mum to get a diagnosis. Any ideas?

    • @astronomylover3266
      @astronomylover3266 Год назад

      ​​@@Rilia_15first try talking to her about it when she's not busy doing anythin. Make sure to say that it's serious and it's really effecting your life. She might brush it off though and that's normal. Mothers find it hard to accept that their child isn going through a tough time.

    • @JDMcHenry
      @JDMcHenry Год назад +1

      You’re verrrry cute!

  • @jahnvikamde1944
    @jahnvikamde1944 Год назад +8244

    _To understand a person... You must swim in the same water that drowned them_

  • @andrewstevenson9594
    @andrewstevenson9594 Год назад +1119

    Sometimes a hug with no words is the best.

    • @DrakonBlake
      @DrakonBlake Год назад +66

      It would be preferable to ask permission for a hug first for me depending on the person. So at least a word for that.

    • @RJones-tn5vg
      @RJones-tn5vg 11 месяцев назад +32

      ​@@DrakonBlakesame here. I don't want a hug. I just want someone to listen or just sit quietly.

    • @timothyammons9011
      @timothyammons9011 10 месяцев назад +21

      Hugs work for me 🤗
      It’s all energy, whatever the avenue

    • @Txu.111
      @Txu.111 9 месяцев назад +3

      @@RJones-tn5vg *without judging

    • @gracewilson6513
      @gracewilson6513 9 месяцев назад +2

      Yes my friends do this all the time sometimes asking sometimes not

  • @Sophie-rp6rr
    @Sophie-rp6rr Год назад +224

    I hate it when people say "other people have it so much worse"

    • @royms2000
      @royms2000 8 месяцев назад +25

      It amazes me how people don't realize what an unbelievably stupid thing that is to say. How's someone else's bad situation make mine not bad?
      If I see a homeless person or someone with cancer, am I supposed to feel good?
      People more often need to think before they speak.

    • @deadpoolgaming8161
      @deadpoolgaming8161 8 месяцев назад +7

      @@royms2000 it's okay, they do not know about your story, and they do not know how you feel

    • @Sophie-rp6rr
      @Sophie-rp6rr 7 месяцев назад +1

      @@MeerkatAndToast That is really clever actually

    • @adamagarba7426
      @adamagarba7426 7 месяцев назад +4

      Worse is when you tell it to u'r self

    • @bluedaybae8393
      @bluedaybae8393 7 месяцев назад +8

      My parents used to always tell me that. I don’t understand why some people react that way to hearing that someone is struggling

  • @suvarthipurkait8549
    @suvarthipurkait8549 Год назад +2708

    When people told me there's no reason for me to be depressed, I have all the best things in the world.. I felt so much guilty and I started to believe that it's actually just in my head.. Later on I read someone's RUclips comment that "asking a person how can they be depressed, is asking a person how can you have asthma when there's so much air"... I finally felt after so many years that someone actually gave a voice to that opinion.. Sometimes it really hurts that people we don't know understand us better than the ones we know💔

    • @LenyaFier
      @LenyaFier Год назад +46

      It doesn't make me feel guilty, it makes me mad. At them at the people who have it worse and at society in general for never helping those on the middle zone

    • @kotlclvr13
      @kotlclvr13 Год назад +29

      I find that I’m always the one telling myself that I have things too good to feel bad. Then I feel guilty. Then I spiral even deeper. I get what you’re feeling and appreciate what you had to say 💕

    • @kevalpatel9193
      @kevalpatel9193 Год назад +5

      I have experienced the same thing

    • @khalidmohamud4649
      @khalidmohamud4649 Год назад +4

      Where can I find this woman i have alot of things I need help with and I have noone in my life who I can share it with

    • @just_ise4418
      @just_ise4418 Год назад +5

      screenshoted this comment, this could probably save my life, thanks

  • @travelwell6049
    @travelwell6049 Год назад +2937

    It’s like when kids are stressed out because of all the pressures of modern life and their parents just angrily ask; “what have you got to be stressed about?”

    • @ThenamesConor
      @ThenamesConor Год назад +29

      Whats wrong with that? The stress of having kids is worse than any modern stress so if any parents can go through that with a smile then you really got nothing to be depressed out. Modern stresses are nothing. I'm 25 years old, been through them all, it's perspective you lack. If you understood that your "stress" is an overreaction you wouldn't feel this way. Also, what's wrong with them asking, if you calmly explained why your so stressed without exaggerating you'll either realise you've got nothing to stress about or the parents will soon explain that ain't even close to a stressful situation, it's just your mind blowing things out of proportion because you lack perspective.

    • @Indijana
      @Indijana Год назад +295

      ​@@ThenamesConor In that case, parents also have nothing to stress about, as it's "all in their head".

    • @TabbyCatq
      @TabbyCatq Год назад +218

      ​@@ThenamesConor I like how this video is not only telling us about what not to tell to people with depression.
      It's also telling us to LOOK AT OTHER PEOPLE'S PERSPECTIVE WITHOUT IMMEDIATELY QUESTIONING THEIR VALID FEELINGS.
      Isn't that lovely? :3

    • @CanineCoolArtStudios-Official
      @CanineCoolArtStudios-Official Год назад +45

      Well yeah, I guess. NOW is the worst some have known, and if the parents know worse, problems now seem like nothing to them, but for us to understand that we’d have to live through THEIR problems back then. People say that they didn’t have all that we have now back then and give us this kind of passive aggressive glare, and when people do that I just feel like it’s my fault for being able to use this stuff.
      Anyway, what I was saying is, we won’t be able to understand what you went through unless we went through it ourselves, and no matter how easy something seems now, it can’t be stress free and problemless.

    • @ThenamesConor
      @ThenamesConor Год назад +12

      @@CanineCoolArtStudios-Official it's not your fault for being able to use new technology but you have to choice to use it or not. Using it the way most people do is unhealthy, introduces young kids to brainless pointless content like anime, fantasy films, pretty much 99% of online content does no good to anyone.

  • @eloise3280
    @eloise3280 11 месяцев назад +325

    "Don't be depressed." the best one yet.

    • @Angryfrogattacker
      @Angryfrogattacker 11 месяцев назад +5

      no

    • @farihamohamedhilmy4700
      @farihamohamedhilmy4700 9 месяцев назад +13

      I heard this when people are so ignorant of how we are feeling. It sucks!

    • @EverestIX-kd9vz
      @EverestIX-kd9vz 9 месяцев назад +16

      One of the worst is people telling you you are too young to be depressed

    • @brytonrenaker69
      @brytonrenaker69 9 месяцев назад +1

      No no no do not do that please this a joke right

    • @EverestIX-kd9vz
      @EverestIX-kd9vz 9 месяцев назад +2

      @@brytonrenaker69 it’s not a joke 😒

  • @macandcheese4138
    @macandcheese4138 Год назад +1597

    "you dont look depressed"
    "I'm sorry, i didnt know depression was a fashion statement"

    • @arceliascorner
      @arceliascorner Год назад +19

      fr fr..

    • @Lanesra62905
      @Lanesra62905 Год назад +11

      It is. Sorry to be the first one to tell you

    • @macandcheese4138
      @macandcheese4138 Год назад +67

      @@Lanesra62905 darn...
      I guess i have to dress in all black now 🖤💀🔪🔪💀💀🖤🖤⛓️⛓️⛓️

    • @VillytheNICEVillian
      @VillytheNICEVillian Год назад +14

      @@macandcheese4138 OMGGG 😂😂😂

    • @macandcheese4138
      @macandcheese4138 Год назад +42

      @@VillytheNICEVillian get out of room! Im listening to my chemical romance!!!! 💀💀🖤🖤🖤🔪🔪⛓️⛓️⛓️

  • @Hey99964
    @Hey99964 Год назад +4332

    I told a friend that I think I am depressed and she didn’t give it a second thought and said ‘no your not’. I act differently around other people and show different personalities. I do have a real personality but I only I know me. So she just dismissed my feelings because of how I seem. She then went on to describe how she thinks she has depression not me. Now I don’t know how she feels but I don’t think it’s right for her to dismiss me and turn the attention on her when I had finally opened up to her. I’m not ever opening up to her again. And now she asks why I don’t talk to her as much.
    Edit: She has now apologised, we are friends, and I have recently found out that she was diagnosed with depression aged 10, but no longer has it. She is helping me through now. Thank you! Have a great day!!
    Edit 2: Also when she said she has depression not me, I did listen and was very nice and understanding, not rude, and helped her, made sure she was ok. I just was annoyed inside my head
    Edit: Good news, I have recovered. Am feeling 100 percent better and am happy. Currently grieving the loss of a friend who I recently found out died, except my mum told me the wrong info. So her sister died, not her. Truly tradgic, rose was an amazing person, I miss her so much. I am very confused about how I feel currently as thought my friend was dead for 3 years but now I have found out she is not. Does anyone have any advice?
    Edit: Ok so thank you so much for all of the lovely people in the replies, stay strong all of you I believe you you can do this. Let’s all make a pact. Every night, before bed, no matter our different time zones, we think of eachother and stay strong

    • @saltandsriracha
      @saltandsriracha Год назад +131

      Be honest. She may have no idea she made you feel that way. If you feel you had a lack of support from her, tell her.

    • @adinashaina9977
      @adinashaina9977 Год назад +19

      Hold your ground

    • @Hey99964
      @Hey99964 Год назад +37

      @@saltandsriracha Yeah I might take it up with her later and discuss it with her at school. Thanks for the suggestion. 😊

    • @h_r7708
      @h_r7708 Год назад +11

      I hear you Max.

    • @milakriek9445
      @milakriek9445 Год назад +8

      I am sorry jou also have to deel with it .

  • @traveller161
    @traveller161 Год назад +122

    thank you for adding subtitles. my English is not so fast yet, but thanks to you i can understand the information that is important to me

    • @ThisIsTheUser
      @ThisIsTheUser 11 месяцев назад +8

      I hope you reach fluency eventually :)

    • @brytonrenaker69
      @brytonrenaker69 9 месяцев назад

      You can turn on subtitles on any video at least for long form content.

  • @tiamelancholyjeoncockity
    @tiamelancholyjeoncockity Год назад +958

    The top one has got to be the “just smile and think happy/positive” 💀☠️ been told that a lot

    • @jessicaspittal754
      @jessicaspittal754 Год назад +28

      My favourite thing to say is don't feel you have to be happy all the time because real humans have other emotions

    • @Knuckles_draws34
      @Knuckles_draws34 Год назад +16

      I have been told that too with both my anxiety and depression

    • @AzuraTheGoodWitch
      @AzuraTheGoodWitch Год назад +11

      Help that was on a poster at my school 💀💀💀

    • @zareien2290
      @zareien2290 Год назад +13

      Yeah that's a whole big sign of "I'm uncomfortable with your depression, so hide it from me so I don't have to deal with it"

    • @kassandrasworld4463
      @kassandrasworld4463 Год назад +2

      True . They can smile on the outside but inside they are raging with pain.

  • @Mikayli-yg7ku
    @Mikayli-yg7ku 11 месяцев назад +35

    I've had all these said to me, I'm 13 with diagnosed depression and when I told me sister she laughed. She says I dont have a reason, and it's fake. My mom says I can just snap out of it. Love your videos Dr.Julie.

    • @Angryfrogattacker
      @Angryfrogattacker 11 месяцев назад +6

      listen, nobody Knows you better then yourself im sorry you had to go through that and have an nice day😊

    • @Angryfrogattacker
      @Angryfrogattacker 11 месяцев назад +2

      Wow i finally made an positive reply

    • @Angryfrogattacker
      @Angryfrogattacker 11 месяцев назад +2

      oops

  • @thirstae-for-bts5483
    @thirstae-for-bts5483 Год назад +73

    “It’s okay to not be okay”

  • @fwrmxx
    @fwrmxx Год назад +1012

    “listen, ive just been diagnosed with depression..”
    “…well, *somewhere, there are orphan kids whos cold starving, their life are so much worse , you dont have reasons to be depressed”* 💀 like who in the name of god would say that to a depressed person?😭😭

    • @avyay9818
      @avyay9818 Год назад +145

      My parents

    • @Chalk_VR
      @Chalk_VR Год назад +25

      Me

    • @Naito115
      @Naito115 Год назад +62

      That would make me even sadder.
      Also, my parents do. They say stuff like that.

    • @thatperson2478
      @thatperson2478 Год назад +17

      First world problems are getting ridiculous, you need to rationalise it a bit and see how good you have it. The brain comes up with problems out of boredom.

    • @jianqiong
      @jianqiong Год назад +4

      Me

  • @VanessaTheWriter
    @VanessaTheWriter Год назад +96

    "Just be happy" is also a sentence that is making, at least me, even more depressed

    • @Animal_nature_lover_frvr
      @Animal_nature_lover_frvr 11 месяцев назад +1

      How?.🙁

    • @VanessaTheWriter
      @VanessaTheWriter 11 месяцев назад +3

      @@Animal_nature_lover_frvr Because it implies that you can just get rid of your depression. You can't. It's not something I can just turn off, it is a long and hard process and just brushing it off as "It's your fault and it's not really a problem" just destroys all the work you have already done and it puts you back to where you started.

    • @Angryfrogattacker
      @Angryfrogattacker 11 месяцев назад

      ​@@Animal_nature_lover_frvris like saying 'i don't like your depression it makes me uncomfortable now just look happy' like bro we can't just look Happy and if you even try to look happy or smile sh$ts gonna feel exhausting

    • @huzaifa7936
      @huzaifa7936 2 месяца назад +1

      Right 200 percent 😢

  • @richismoonlight82710
    @richismoonlight82710 11 месяцев назад +83

    "are you afraid of death?"
    "No"
    "but why?"
    "cause life scares me more than death ever can"

    • @mothdust1634
      @mothdust1634 6 месяцев назад +3

      Bro, life is so painful. I feel like every breath I take is hurting something. I can't compartmentalize as well as other people can, and it tears me up inside. I cry when I see roadkill and people think I am insane. I do my best to hide it, but it is so hard to live here and exist. Every single thing we have and that we eat is a sacrifice made by someone else. It's so horrible.
      **edit** and I know what people will say: "You have to take the good with the bad. This is just the way it is, and it can't exist in any other way." That doesn't stop it from hurting though. I can't just not feel sad about it.
      **edit** that's why I replied to your comment. Life is like a horror movie to me.

  • @aditipookat1490
    @aditipookat1490 Год назад +798

    I love how she viciously tears each piece

  • @punishmentgame
    @punishmentgame Год назад +245

    I get number one a lot from my mother whenever we end up talking about something like that. She always ends up comparing my life to her when she was my age, and those childrens in Africa struggling with a lack of clean drinking water. She kept telling me that I just have too much leisure and if I was like them, focusing all my energy on surviving, I wouldn’t even have the time to think about whatever is bothering me. I always envy people who struggle with the lack of material things like water and shelter, instead of people who have everything they need to survive, yet feel so empty and lifeless. I was granted a life that was comfortable, with good education and rarely starved, even though we’re not rich, I would not have to worry about things like that. I always ask myself: Why am I still dissatisfied? Why am I so ungrateful? My parents are still together (for now, at least) and my younger sibling is not so bad and we still get along. I get good grades and have good relationships with friends and teachers at school. Yet I still feel like I’m always alone, unable to talk about anything personal without being taunted, laughed at, or ignored. The only times I’ve ever talked about subjects like depression is with a friend on the bus, but we were never so serious about it. He has problems at home with his father, which sounds a lot worse than my own problems, and he has so much obligations. He had every reason to apply for counseling (plot twist: he never got it) while I don’t really have a reason to. If I ever let slip anything that suggests that I have depression or suicidal thoughts, people never take it seriously, make it a joke, or in my mother’s case, scold me for being spoilt and selfish. I’ve gotten to the point that I would never speak of these things in front of other people.
    I’m sorry for ranting here, and I don’t expect anyone to read it anyway. I’m just so glad that the internet exists now, because it’s the only place where I can rant and talk about these things without being judged as much compared to irl. I love how supportive people could be when nobody knows their identities, yet it horrifies me how differently the same people would act irl
    Sorry, for rambling and hiding behind a screen instead of facing it irl… I really am a coward, am I? 😁

    • @greeniscoollol
      @greeniscoollol Год назад +24

      I understand how it feels and I'm sorry that this is happening to you. Everyone is deserving of help even if their "problems seem smaller". In reality, problems are incomparable as we all deal with things differently and have different experiences so comparing whose problems are bigger is only going to cause harm. Feeling this way is okay, you don't need a reason or a big reason. I really wish people could be more sensituve and open minded when talking to others, no one should be allowed to make you feel insignificant. You do matter and so does your depression. I sincerely hope it gets better. Sending you all my love❤❤❤

    • @ericmatterson9905
      @ericmatterson9905 Год назад +19

      I'm sorry for your mother's ignorance on this subject.

    • @straw-berry_2day.
      @straw-berry_2day. Год назад +14

      I do hope you're doing better now. And depression is depression. It doesn't differentiate between people's situations, it just comes and attacks anyone. So this isn't some kind of a suffering contest where we judge who suffers more than the other and diagnose them accordingly. Just know that you are important, you are loved, and you matter. I hope things keeps getting better.

    • @ethereal7651
      @ethereal7651 Год назад +11

      I really hope you find someone to talk to irl (you can always share it here too, if you're comfortable enough) Just know that you are important and you're loved, May things get better for you dear.

    • @aeea8318
      @aeea8318 Год назад +9

      I'm so sorry for you, if you want, I send an internet hug to you 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗

  • @smritib22
    @smritib22 Год назад +35

    That's why people who are actually in depression doesn't SHARE!!!
    These days people use the word depression when they are just upset about something and write things on their social media about their "depression story". 😢 Sad but true.

    • @minikitty7835
      @minikitty7835 9 месяцев назад +1

      Fr, my classmates also make fun of depression and act sad and emo as like a joke. It’s very sad how people nowadays misuse the word depression and make fun of it when actual people suffer from it.

  • @populuseuphratica8791
    @populuseuphratica8791 Год назад +11

    Yes it hurts the most when your own family says we have no reason to be depressed. Nothing excites me or makes me happy anymore and I have been constantly losing weight but no one seems to understand that. I don't know how life is going to turn out in a few years but I know I will never be the same. People around me think I have high goals but only I know I just want to survive the inner dark abyss of my own self I'm writing here because I just wanted a place to share this. I feel acknowledging your pain is the first step towards healing.

  • @AMK650
    @AMK650 Год назад +175

    "Other have it worse" just always make me angry. And the sadist part is that it is often used by other people that struggle to kinda gatekeep it. Or to say that that they should be treated with more care becaus they themself have it worse.
    My own mother told me that I should be fine becaus I was only mistreated and not also raped by my father like her.
    That was the moste devastating thing she ever sad to me. I know she did it because she felt bad and wanted me to be just magically ok becaus she didn't know this was happening but it doesn't make it ok to say that.

    • @sweetjane6506
      @sweetjane6506 Год назад +16

      I've heard this one too. I always say that I know others are worse off, but other people's pain doesn't make me feel better (because I'm not a narcissist).

    • @shakira7301
      @shakira7301 Год назад +24

      This is why people with unhealed trauma shouldn't be having kids and family. Generational trauma should be stopped. Not passed down to generations.

    • @CrazyCormac
      @CrazyCormac Год назад +2

      @@shakira7301 wow first time someone said something truthfully.. kudos to you sis..

    • @AMK650
      @AMK650 Год назад +4

      @Marychristelle that is no excuse. You are still responsible for your behavior. You can know that you have a problem and you can work on it. When I get irritated due to my cptsd I try not to be mean to my boyfriend but if I am I apologise.
      I had a friend which I aske if we could meet sometimes without anybody of us talking about our problems. Like every 4th meet up or so. We both have depression and I noticed that I needed a break sometimes. She believed that if wanted that that I wouldn't except her as a person. She put her needs over mine and did not see them as equal.
      When you say "I have it worse that you" or "other have it worse" you disregard there feelings and needs and you own above. That is never ok even if the person doesn't mean to.

    • @Ice.muffin
      @Ice.muffin Год назад

      Fucked up shit.

  • @XtropicaIIx
    @XtropicaIIx Год назад +16

    This made me so happy..
    As someone who has had depression for 14 years...
    This made me smile

    • @Angryfrogattacker
      @Angryfrogattacker 11 месяцев назад +1

      Damn

    • @EverestIX-kd9vz
      @EverestIX-kd9vz 9 месяцев назад +1

      I’ve had depression for a year and it made me cry for some reason

  • @arunprakash6965
    @arunprakash6965 Год назад +76

    The pain matters - that's the best form of support people can give!! 💯

    • @TG-nh6ni
      @TG-nh6ni Год назад +4

      My favorite is "your feelings are valid" because they really are.

  • @bobxtea
    @bobxtea Год назад +189

    "You don't look depressed " I know I try 😃

    • @N3isfree
      @N3isfree Год назад +2

      💯

    • @darkacadpresenceinblood
      @darkacadpresenceinblood Год назад +5

      literally this💀 i'm like, yea give me that oscar for acting the part of someone that's okay, then can we move on to the part where we talk about the fact that i'm actually not??

  • @visualinotion3957
    @visualinotion3957 Год назад +22

    I struggle to understand some aspects of depression, but I'm learning. Sometimes you don't know what else to say, but it's ok to just be there, to say "you matter and I'll always be here when you need me, you're not alone". We don't need to understand to be kind.

  • @llama4657
    @llama4657 Год назад +99

    I’m very lucky to have my family because they say to me, “It’s okay to feel the way that you feel, we’re here to help you get through it.” As my mum says, a problem shared is a problem halved ❤
    Just because you don’t ‘seem’ or ‘act’ depressed doesn’t make how you’re feeling any less valid. Your mood is completely valid. I’m here for anyone who wants a shoulder to cry on or a hug ❤

    • @najmi2245
      @najmi2245 Год назад +1

      Thanks homie😢

    • @jezcon9467
      @jezcon9467 Год назад +1

      A problem shared is gossip😂

  • @glace.athenarose
    @glace.athenarose Год назад +260

    Number one hit me hard. I got diagnosed with depression and when I told my mom that, she literally said "you don't have a reason to be depressed"

    • @ThenamesConor
      @ThenamesConor Год назад +9

      She ain't wrong tho. I mean depression as an actual medical issue means you feel depressed for no reason. You to say you don't have a reason to be depressed is factually correct because people with real depression would feel depressed in the happiest of situations. But depression can be reversed if you start telling your self you have no reason to be depressed (but that doesn't mean get angry at yourself for feeling it) then change your daily routines and environment, also exercise, don't use social media, and spend more time outside. Do this and you won't be depressed, and that's just facts, if you don't do all this stuff consistently for a year straight then you won't get better. And again, that's facts.

    • @dmlw
      @dmlw Год назад

      ​@@ThenamesConor why tf are you talking about all of this like it's so fucking easy to do. That's the thing about depression, it makes you unable to do things as you used to do, enjoy things, talking! Have you even ever been depressed?? Are you a professional? Stop telling people what to do when you know nothing about them. Depression can also affect people differently so not every solution is good for everyone. So stfu please.

    • @jarcha4200
      @jarcha4200 Год назад

      @@ThenamesConor I wonder if you realize how incredibly arrogant your comment is? Have you ever struggled with depression? Are you a trained psychotherapist or perhaps you specialize in research and major depressive disorder treatments? My suspicion is that you’re just a know it all who likes to judge people and situations about what you have absolutely no personal knowledge or training. Wow.

    • @Only_-_Yours
      @Only_-_Yours Год назад +34

      ​​@@ThenamesConor you mean well but the start of your comment is incorrect.. literally a psychiatrist in this same video you're commenting on says depression has no reasons sometimes, and yet you're here saying his mother is right ... Repeating the word facts doesn't make it so ..
      Depression has much deeper reasons or traumas, sometimes genetics.
      Yes talking yourself out of it, exercising and so does help, some can get cured, and some not, so someone shall try but if doesn't work he must seek professional help.
      Also NO ONE SHALL EVER SAY TO A DEPRESSED PERSON THEY DON'T HAVE A REASON..
      Either support or leave them be ..

    • @ThenamesConor
      @ThenamesConor Год назад

      @@Only_-_Yours you literally have zero proof to back that up, similar to that psychiatrist

  • @hwanghyemin5936
    @hwanghyemin5936 Год назад +5

    my friend once told me "you have so much to live for, so many people who care about you, you shouldn't feel this way" when I was sharing about my struggle with understanding why I deserved to live. This friend of mine was clinically diagnosed with depression, and so I didn't really know how to respond besides saying "so do you", but he understood what I meant, and I didn't press any further, rather I just let him continue to open up about his feelings and all

  • @TaylorTheOtter
    @TaylorTheOtter Год назад +140

    "don't worry you'll be fine" is fine if it's followed by "I'll be here to support you any time you need to talk or just need some company"

    • @teeeteee000
      @teeeteee000 Год назад +6

      💯 I just want them there, they don't have to say a word and that's all the support I need.

    • @thegreatwang9813
      @thegreatwang9813 Год назад +1

      I've just shushed you 😂🤣 🦵🦵🦵

    • @FrogGamePlay
      @FrogGamePlay 11 месяцев назад

      ​@@thegreatwang9813👺

  • @BliffleSplick
    @BliffleSplick Год назад +492

    "Others have it worse"
    I didn't know we were in the Misery Olympics, Uncle Pete
    Basically they're implying they don't want to do any of the emotional work of just relating to someone they're supposedly connected to.
    They say it like no one can have feelings until they're the strongest in the world.
    Had a good day? No you didn't, others have had it better today.
    Hungry? No you aren't, others are starving in the world.

    • @shakira7301
      @shakira7301 Год назад +23

      Preach! Those people sound so dxmb

    • @LunaCannone
      @LunaCannone Год назад +32

      Ikr! just because someone may be feeling worse doesn't mean I can just dismiss my own feelings altogether! I don't have depression, and yet it still hurts when anyone tells this to me. its almost like they are saying "your feelings will never count".

    • @BliffleSplick
      @BliffleSplick Год назад +16

      @@LunaCannone Unfortunately a lot of people either just repeat what they heard when they said the same thing, or it's a way of saying "I don't want to help you with this"
      Re-parenting yourself is a process, but it's a very very healing one.

    • @Mari-hb5do
      @Mari-hb5do Год назад +8

      This!
      Invalidating feelings and emotions because they never talk about them either, especially and continue to be in situations where they know they are not happy, yet continue with unhealthy patterns, behaviors and don't act upon it/change.

    • @anonymous38610
      @anonymous38610 Год назад +1

      Thats my parents

  • @lomtl2418
    @lomtl2418 Год назад +22

    I wish everyone would hear this 💜

  • @endersis3498
    @endersis3498 Год назад +23

    I act extremely happy whenever I am around people so no one knows how I usually feel when I’m alone

    • @mouhousilhem5156
      @mouhousilhem5156 11 месяцев назад +1

      That’s exactly how I feel so whenever I say that I’m depressed or not feeling good they say that I don’t look like it

  • @Simply_Barbie
    @Simply_Barbie 11 месяцев назад +6

    Dr. Julie, there are so many things that I want to say to you but they all lead to me saying one thing to you: thank you.

  • @MostPowerfulPMofIndia
    @MostPowerfulPMofIndia Год назад +10

    Very correct
    Respect what others are going through
    I have severe chronic depression from decades

  • @Sheena123
    @Sheena123 Год назад +8

    This is so true, I hope more people would care about this things, cuz it seems a little detail but can make a huge difference

  • @shakira7301
    @shakira7301 Год назад +20

    The problem is lack of awareness. They genuinely don't know how to comfort someone

    • @deliacozo8542
      @deliacozo8542 10 месяцев назад

      Is it something wrong with me if somone cries or tell me sad news I almost laugh? Like my friends 's cat died and I was ok. Idk if I am uncomfartble with people cry, probably I am

  • @BlaxkEdits
    @BlaxkEdits 8 месяцев назад +1

    One hug, a shoulder to cry on and a person who understands is all you need

  • @TheLeannansidhe
    @TheLeannansidhe Год назад +25

    A long time back my grandma, who knew about some of my struggles with depression, started saying, "this too shall pass." I had to sit her down and gently ask her to please stop saying that. It was hard to confront her about it but such a relief to not hear it anymore. People often mean well, but should definitely be told when what they are doing isn't working how they thought.

    • @TG-nh6ni
      @TG-nh6ni Год назад +3

      💯 This too shall pass only applies to situations but not necessarily emotions. Cause someone that feels inadequate can always feel that way regardless of how good or bad things are going on the outside.

    • @populuseuphratica8791
      @populuseuphratica8791 Год назад +3

      I agree that it often becomes so annoying to hear those comforting words again and again because it starts to feel empty and makes us feel even more hopeless.

  • @Monkey80llx
    @Monkey80llx Год назад +39

    It’s impossible to imagine anyone giving such incredibly accurate and emotionally insightful advice (in ALL your videos) without feeling that they’ve been through or are still going through the same experiences at one time or another in their own life.
    Whatever your story is, Julie, please know and be so proud of the fact that you are gently but honestly reaching into the hearts and minds of some of the most amazing but at times fragile people in the world. Thank you. More than you know.
    🙏🏼❤️

  • @HeatherReid-q8i
    @HeatherReid-q8i 7 месяцев назад +1

    I have being suffering from depression for many many years and it is a battle. Each day is a battle. I have so much empathy with people who suffer from it. I know that there are no words that help. Be sensitive people that person is hurting badly. I withdraw completely it is better than insults.

  • @demolitionc
    @demolitionc Год назад +80

    I say “don’t worry, you’ll be fine” as a comfort to my friends. Not to dismiss them or their feelings, but a genuine reassurance 😊

    • @kimberley2471
      @kimberley2471 Год назад +5

      I like it when people tell me that. Even if we both know it might be untrue.

    • @ParlonsAstronomie
      @ParlonsAstronomie Год назад +21

      It is nice when someone is a little down, but it is clumsy with people that suffer from depression.
      During a depression you are unable to conceive that you will get better and your suffering seems endless.
      The problem with depression is precisely that you don't get fine.

    • @demolitionc
      @demolitionc Год назад +3

      @@ParlonsAstronomie Yeah, I can see how that would make it an issue. I only know like 2 people with depression, so I haven't really worked it out yet. Thanks!

    • @thinlizzy9032
      @thinlizzy9032 Год назад +3

      ​@@ParlonsAstronomiegood point. Depression can be cyclical and it really feels like you're literally fighting for your life every time you hit a low point and while you still manage to scrape through each time, you know eventually that low point is going to come back again and wonder if that's gonna be the one that finally breaks you.

  • @Justmeeee19
    @Justmeeee19 Год назад +22

    I wish I could come to you for therapy but I'm from India i feel like your shorts exactly explain what I experienced thankyou mam 💖 u are great

  • @kkevus
    @kkevus 6 месяцев назад +1

    _It's okay you are not okay. I'm here for you._

  • @helennicolaou9673
    @helennicolaou9673 Год назад +11

    My 'friends' stay away... no one asks ... easier for them to disappear until 'I get over it'..... tragic 😓

  • @lourianajaeaguero269
    @lourianajaeaguero269 Год назад +6

    that last one hit hard cause my family says to me all the time and it just makes everything way worse than it already is

  • @p1nkae
    @p1nkae Год назад +9

    I found out my grandma has depression, and has had it for years now, which I always felt guilty about since I never knew and was very dismissive of her. Now she’s dealing with cancer too and it’s been a massive struggle. I hope one day soon she recovers from all of this and I can tell her how sorry I am for never noticing her pain.

    • @Animal_nature_lover_frvr
      @Animal_nature_lover_frvr 11 месяцев назад +1

      The right time is NOW. only NOW

    • @Angryfrogattacker
      @Angryfrogattacker 11 месяцев назад

      Damn

    • @joebug8984
      @joebug8984 10 месяцев назад

      Its now or never. If you dont tell her now you will only regret it like me. My grandma passed away when i am not yet said it

  • @Elizabeth-gu8hx
    @Elizabeth-gu8hx Год назад +75

    Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings.
    This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.

    • @JamesTaylor-ff4dp
      @JamesTaylor-ff4dp Год назад

      Psychedelic’s definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again again but it’s just so hard to source out of there.

    • @mirabelwatson7863
      @mirabelwatson7863 Год назад

      The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well

    • @patriaciasmith3499
      @patriaciasmith3499 Год назад

      Is he on instagram?

    • @Armus187
      @Armus187 Год назад

      bergwilly11 is the best, he's been my go to for anything psychedelics.

    • @zarkos2313
      @zarkos2313 Год назад

      @@patriaciasmith3499 Yes he is. bergwilly11

  • @pretty-eyes
    @pretty-eyes 10 месяцев назад +1

    I started following you yesterday after a short video popped up. I .ve been through a lot including severe depression and panic attacks due to anxiety and stress. And i can tell you, you are the best and give great advice to people like me and esp to others who haven.t been in that dark hole!!! ❤❤❤ Bless you

  • @vidyasagar6937
    @vidyasagar6937 Год назад +5

    It's beautifully explained! Right on point

  • @wolifiejviidxn2054
    @wolifiejviidxn2054 Год назад +34

    i want to be a psychologist too to help people with what theyve been too thank you for inspiring me!

  • @jessicaspittal754
    @jessicaspittal754 Год назад +19

    My favourite thing to say is take your time to heal. or don't feel you have to be happy all the time

    • @darkacadpresenceinblood
      @darkacadpresenceinblood Год назад +3

      yes me too! the thing i took *such* a long time to learn is that it's okay to have bad days. like, it's a perfectly healthy and normal thing to just... feel sad about something sometimes. it seems so obvious in hindsight but i always thought i HAD to cheer myself up somehow when i was sad or anxious, that it was always something to fight, and it took up so much more energy than if i just let the feeling come and go on its own. so now whenever someone confides in me about something, the first thing i say to them is always some variation of "it's okay to be sad" because i wish someone taught me that very simple principle when i was wasting time trying to cut out a natural and integral part of my mind...

  • @carolinaida128
    @carolinaida128 Год назад +6

    As someone who has been depressed with and without reasons can testify that being depressed and feeling like you have no reason to be is much much worse than being depressed because if reasons.
    You don't know how to fix it. While having reasons makes it easier to feel that it's okay not to be okay.

  • @firstnamelastname8527
    @firstnamelastname8527 Год назад +46

    I end in isolating myself from my friends.
    I feel invisible to them as I can't relate as I have symptoms of PTSD
    they often talk about there therapist and I feel jealous & awkward.
    But can't bring my self to go and get one or even talk with them.
    I'm also scared of hurting them but anger outbursts.
    So I don't make plans or hang out.
    And it just turned in to a habbit

    • @Monkey80llx
      @Monkey80llx Год назад +7

      Just as a ‘maybe this may help..in some way’ but if and however it might work for you??…
      I too isolate from people, i have let go of friends for personal reasons that have upset, annoyed or just confused them,..and i have learned to accept and embrace how different i am.
      I lose myself in music and movies and have goals for my future as well as a job i love but none of it relies on other people, who, ultimately, i don’t connect with anyway. So letting go of the fake or the challenging friendships took a huge weight off my mental health.
      Finding the people, the hobbies, the ‘something that feels right and feels good’ is the key to a happy life.
      Maybe none of that relates for you but i wish you the very best. Stay strong 🙏🏼

    • @teresaleporati7574
      @teresaleporati7574 Год назад +1

      Please seek help if you believe you need it. I hurt so many people, the ones who meant the most to me especially, because I didn’t get the help I needed. Please, don’t be like me. You deserve to be happy and your loved ones deserve a happy you too!
      By God’s Grace and a good therapist I am finely healing. What a difference! It takes time but is so worth it. 🙏❤️🙏

    • @Mushroom321-
      @Mushroom321- Год назад

      I am diag. Sorry ,symptoms of Ptsd can be, feel isolating..

    • @MeMe-zv4og
      @MeMe-zv4og Год назад

      May God be with you and bless you!🥺🥺❤️✝️ With healing from all this struggles

    • @yeet1066
      @yeet1066 Год назад

      ​@@MeMe-zv4og don't listen to this person, cults try to take you when you're down and isolated so you can't run

  • @blauespony1013
    @blauespony1013 7 месяцев назад

    I am so glad for videos like this. When I talked with my bestie about his depression I simply listened and cried with him.

  • @ratibababury1844
    @ratibababury1844 Год назад +4

    This comment section is great. I love all the understanding shown as well as the related experiences and interactions with others.

    • @Khushipanwar7711
      @Khushipanwar7711 8 месяцев назад +1

      Fr I need these kinda PPL in my life

  • @kenziekreymer4843
    @kenziekreymer4843 Год назад +56

    My dad is a psychologist and he tells me that I have an amazing life and that there is no reason why I should be depressed or suicidal. He's a psychologist, he should know not to say that to me and he should talk to me about why I feel like this. That is probably the worst part about have a psychologist dad.

    • @videau234
      @videau234 Год назад +19

      I don't know the context but your father might be psychologist but when is with you, is your father. that's why as a professional you can't treat your family-friends etc. there is a cognitive bias, it is impossible for your father brain to look at your situation as objective as he can be with his patients. there is an strong bond with you that works as a blur glass he is looking you through. Saying what he is saying is a extrapolation of his desire (that you are not depressed). Look for help outside, don't expect your father act as psychologist in front of you, it doesn't work like that.

    • @flowerpower26
      @flowerpower26 Год назад +5

      I am only reading this 6 months after this comment. I do hope you are ok. If you are still struggling, I would urge you to see someone who has no ties to your father. It makes the world of difference. You need to feel listened too and comfortable enough to open up. I know its easier said than done, and you might feel like you are betraying your father, but the above comment is correct. Good luck x

    • @lorireed8046
      @lorireed8046 Год назад

      Except if you've got zero reason to be depressed and just looking for an excuse to be a shit person!? I'll never understand why a person with the very ability to become a productive person in society decides to be an absolute shit person and be a "victim" to excuse their lazy ass. Y'all need to be called out and to be held accountable for your own BS.

  • @-Royal-Viv-
    @-Royal-Viv- 9 месяцев назад +1

    That last one really hit me hard in the chest. My feelings have pretty much been invalidated by at least one person my whole life and it hasn’t stopped.

  • @geppy707
    @geppy707 Год назад +15

    Also every brain reacts different. What can be easy for you doesn't have to be easy for others and that's okay. It's important to be kind, listen to each other, give support to the ones that need it and show them that they can feel safe with you.
    Some people with depression don't even have to have a reason. Depressive moods and episodes can be very common in many trauma disorders so even if they don't have a reason, the feeling is very much real
    It's okay to not feel okay.

  • @noeoleole6911
    @noeoleole6911 Год назад +5

    Number 2 and 1 are so important. It's true people tell you this!! It hurts more especially when it comes from people you think/thought they truly cared for you. And they probably do, but when they say these things when you're in pain, it's just a huge slap to the heart... even when they might and probably don't know it. It hurts though!! It's just so frustrating not to be understood, makes you feel SO lonely 😢

  • @nana13ri
    @nana13ri Год назад +2

    I'm grateful that you said what people need to say instead. I have a depression, my partner too and often I just can't support, bc i don't know what i want to listen in her place.

  • @butterflyislife3056
    @butterflyislife3056 Год назад +43

    "You have no reason to be depressed" - Indian parents

    • @sultanah937
      @sultanah937 Год назад +1

      Don’t tell anything to those who don’t understand ur situation.
      Go to the right place and right person.

    • @thegreatwang9813
      @thegreatwang9813 Год назад +1

      Weak minded

    • @PurpleIsGood_Dog
      @PurpleIsGood_Dog Год назад

      Yeah I bet they'll tell me to go to the mental asylum if I ever told them about my suicide attempts

    • @okthen716
      @okthen716 Год назад +3

      Them being the biggest reason- 🤡

  • @Goldenheart2911
    @Goldenheart2911 Год назад +4

    Other things not to say when someone is going through something are, it wasn't meant to be, it's a blessing in disguise, it's going to be ok, there is always a reason and time heals all wounds. While this all may be very true it's the last thing someone wants to hear when their whole life feels like it's been ripped out from under them. Instead allow them to feel, talk, and provide them with a safe space, support and a non judgmental listening ear. Yes, this too shall and will pass, but in the moment it often doesn't feel that way to the person going through it. Sometimes if you don't know what to say it's often better to say nothing at all and give a hug, smile or nod to let them know you are there and that you care. 💛 Sending love to anyone going through tough times especially around the holidays♥️ Great clip Dr. Julie. 🫶 Wishing you and your family a happy and blessed Thanksgiving. I am extremely grateful for everything I have and continue to learn from you as I continue to move forward along my path. 💛🙏

  • @lauravelez8855
    @lauravelez8855 9 месяцев назад +1

    This happens to me daily I have serious mental problems and migraines and i recently found my frirst pair of real friends in my life. Mind you that was about 2 months ago or so. Im 16 and have been bullied my hole life and this lit my heart whe n my friend who knows about my problrems sent me this and said ''Honestly this is so ttue'' she dosent have any problems at all and she ment that the kids in my school should treat me right. Your videos help me so much with taking care of myself, thabk you ❤

  • @karunyakanth
    @karunyakanth Год назад +5

    Dr. Julie, great advice! 👍👍

  • @debkdas4246
    @debkdas4246 Год назад +8

    Yes I used to have depression and people just didn't care I know how it feels. Thanks for sharing this with people so they understand

  • @lillyisaacs2929
    @lillyisaacs2929 11 месяцев назад

    I love that you gave helpful advice while also not shaming the people that say these things

  • @capybara_prohacker
    @capybara_prohacker Год назад +42

    I remember once I was really depressed and I told my mom about it. All she said was “stop being so dramatic! there are so many other people who have the reasons to be depressed unlike you!”

    • @thegreatwang9813
      @thegreatwang9813 Год назад

      Emo

    • @whisperingdorito1456
      @whisperingdorito1456 Год назад +4

      I'm sorry.
      I can't freakin' stand it when people get so caught up with their own assumptions about the world that they can't even accept that other people sometimes have emotions that they can't understand.
      Seeing people argue with other peoples' subjective experiences with the world as if they could somehow be disproven is immensely frustrating. Like, people just feel a certain way about things, that doesn't make it any more of less right or wrong, that's not the point of pain!

    • @Animal_nature_lover_frvr
      @Animal_nature_lover_frvr 11 месяцев назад +5

      @@thegreatwang9813 4yrs old

    • @thegreatwang9813
      @thegreatwang9813 11 месяцев назад

      @@Animal_nature_lover_frvr ahhahahah stfu look at your channel don't talk

    • @FrogGamePlay
      @FrogGamePlay 11 месяцев назад

      ​@@thegreatwang9813brainless

  • @Cosmicbluealtera1309
    @Cosmicbluealtera1309 Год назад +4

    I told a childhood "friend" the #1 thing. I didnt realize at the time I was just repeating things my parents told me, ignoring my own major depression. I still feel guilty about that, but I realize I was a child then, and have grown beyond my parents. I hate that I repeated those words.

  • @asfandmajeed9891
    @asfandmajeed9891 10 месяцев назад

    Dr. Julies smile is enough to erase my depression😍

  • @Nataliewatalie1
    @Nataliewatalie1 Год назад +30

    TOP THING TO NEVER DO TO SOMEONE WITH DEPRESSION OR ANYONE WHO IS JUST SAD IN GENERAL
    NEVER say “Oh that’s nothing” or “That’s all? Well this happened to me…” It’s SO RUDE and maybe to YOU it seems like nothing but to the person it might have really upset them.
    And if you say this, I know what WILL happen to you. You’re losing that friend.

    • @teeeteee000
      @teeeteee000 Год назад +3

      As someone with depression, you have to be mindful of your actions too. Talking to a therapist is more effective than expecting your family and friends to understand you. It's not their fault they're not educated on it. Most times, depression is a one person battle, you are fighting with your own mind and emotions. I struggle to let people see that side of me but I've learned some great tools through my therapist to help me manage it when those waves come. Families and friends are there to support you, just not in the way you think, please just don't dismiss that. A therapist is there to help you and that's who you should be seeking advice from. It takes a lot of courage but it's the necessary steps to take to get better.

  • @sarij3950
    @sarij3950 Год назад +4

    I've been told I "look like I'm fine" by my therapist as well as my psychiatrist. It's a great way to make your deeply depressed and anxious patient feel invalidated.

    • @thinlizzy9032
      @thinlizzy9032 Год назад

      Yikes! I'd definitely ask for a different therapist at that point o.O is one thing if your friend says it (still hurtful but they're not in the field of treating mental health so what do they know 🤷🏻‍♀️), another thing entirely when the person that's supposed to actually help you invalidates you.

  • @K475V
    @K475V 11 месяцев назад +1

    yes‼️
    yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
    this is absolutely true and i have had all four of these things said to me before while battling serious depression. the alternative ways of saying or doing these things would have made me feel so much better about everything, like i was valid and so were my feelings. especially the one where you should ask someone first before giving advice. please do this, because sometimes people just need someone to speak to; someone to just listen to them. and though it may be helpful to give advice, please ask first. as someone who has felt upset about being told these things before, i really do try to follow these four alternatives when i talk to friends who are feeling down. i know how it feels to be put down (even if not intentional), and use that to make sure i do not make the people that need listening to feel the same way. great video! 💞

  • @RainDF21
    @RainDF21 Год назад +8

    ive heard all of this 😂 and im still here, still surviving all of them lmao. im still not sure if i should be proud of myself. i feel like everytime i try to make myself feel better, everything around me just brings me down and crushes me. so idk what to do anymore. existential crisis 😱

  • @user-Irena_V.
    @user-Irena_V. Год назад +134

    The dog will put his paw on your lap and will look at you the way " I am always with you". Dog therapy is the best!

    • @golflax1
      @golflax1 Год назад +2

      I agree

    • @lindasteen8119
      @lindasteen8119 Год назад +2

      Yes 😊

    • @dotcassilles1488
      @dotcassilles1488 Год назад +8

      Any animal that will sit near you and listen to the thoughts and feelings you have is a treasure. They respond to tone of voice and body language so much more honestly than humans do (my opinion).
      My therapy dog Nessy was a good listener, better than family or friends. I am diagnosed with bipolar spectrum disorder and a list of health challenges. Nessy was with me for 15 years after I rescued her. She rescued me from suffering many days in all that time. She went to heaven in 2019.
      Since then my cat has been my therapy animal and has even started to wake me up when I'm having nightmares. He seems to be able to tell my mood even when I'm asleep and wants to be as close as possible to me.
      I wish for healing for anyone who has depression or a health challenge. Blessings, Dot

    • @angelaallen28
      @angelaallen28 Год назад +3

      I 💜 agree dogs 🐕 truly understand

    • @hashname90
      @hashname90 Год назад +1

      My dog does not really understand depression.. when I feel depressed she like to stop listening to me and walk away and act like someone else is her human 🫣

  • @pacer1705
    @pacer1705 9 месяцев назад

    Thank you. You have confirmed my interpretation that people are not comfortable to my emotional pain and they dismiss me and hope I go away. And I matter to nobody because they say have it worse than I do and do not want to know why I feel not ok.

  • @rashid_monochromerain930
    @rashid_monochromerain930 Год назад +4

    I really like and appreciate about how much you are understandable , God bless you.

  • @christeluy
    @christeluy Год назад +6

    One of the things I’ve heard that I hate the most:
    “You need to think positive.”
    🤦🏻‍♀️

    • @kamri9368
      @kamri9368 Год назад +1

      That's crazy! If its just so easy then why wont we do it? Who would want to feel terrible if they can be happy?😭

    • @christeluy
      @christeluy Год назад +1

      @@kamri9368 Exactly!!! 😭 It just made me feel frustrated.

  • @alyssaj9308
    @alyssaj9308 9 месяцев назад

    It's important to have videos like this around. What I love about this is addressing the perspectives and behaviors with substitute suggestions. I also love the way she implicitly points out the fact that whether someone's reasons are visible or valued the same way by the other, it's important to hold space instead of getting brushed off with dismissive minimizing because it's invalidating and emotionally separates people through slights in vulnerable times. Sometimes people appreciate an ear with compassion instead of a dismissive sermon about other people struggling out of reach like it's less important or possible to help someone suffering right in front of you that could likely use some connection and support to even take more steps if any to improve whatever state they're in after getting the necessary support to process what's most pressing.

  • @BadBoySupreme6969
    @BadBoySupreme6969 11 месяцев назад +3

    Don’t forget the “you need to stop being so sad/mad/lazy all the time.” Or “Go out with your friends.” Or “Why are you so angry all the time?”

  • @dhi3525
    @dhi3525 Год назад +35

    Welp, I feel validated now. Told my bf that I'm having suicidal thoughts and want to get a mental check up cause I might be depressed. And then he told me that I have no reason to be depressed--kept asking me what's so bad in my life that I'm having these thoughts lol

    • @shakira7301
      @shakira7301 Год назад +12

      That's so toxic.

    • @redlophix5670
      @redlophix5670 Год назад +8

      Brooo wtffffff and you give that human such an important position in your life??

    • @redlophix5670
      @redlophix5670 Год назад +8

      Damn. And please, get that checked out, okay?

    • @ParlonsAstronomie
      @ParlonsAstronomie Год назад

      I hope that you will get better.
      Don't hesitate to do a mental check up, it is the first step (and the most difficult) to get better, I am all with you !

    • @kyy3959
      @kyy3959 Год назад +4

      Two words.
      Red Flag. You deserve so much better than that.

  • @LydiaGates-ie3bc
    @LydiaGates-ie3bc 4 месяца назад +1

    All these things are what my parents are saying to me and I am so freaking depressed right now and I’m feeling like I’m being selfish this was very helpful thank you for all the other people out there you never know if it gets better unless you keep going that’s what’s encouraged me today

  • @emilyparker7146
    @emilyparker7146 Год назад +6

    These 4 things have been said to me by people who were close to me, so now I mask and bear what i feel.

  • @justbutterbeer
    @justbutterbeer Год назад +5

    The 4th one is how my ex friends whom I just had a fight and ended friendship with treated me like despite telling them it hurts me
    I was too stupid to not notice these red flags because they were highly toxic

  • @AO333AO
    @AO333AO 9 месяцев назад

    The last one hit me hard.. always have been told that since i was younger, it made me shed a tear..

  • @janexnie6309
    @janexnie6309 Год назад +8

    This reminds me of Moonbin. He didn’t show anything to anyone but was probably tearing himself apart on the inside. I’m sorry that we didn’t understand anything behind your big smile Moonbin. 💔🥀

  • @ragegarage8518
    @ragegarage8518 Год назад +5

    Ooft that hit hard in the feels my ex partner used say all these things to me after a motorbike accident that dramatically changed my life and she never understood how i felt when she said those things ! How do you change someone’s mind to try and think of these things before they say it ?

  • @ኢትዮጵያለዘላለምትኑ-ዐ7ረ
    @ኢትዮጵያለዘላለምትኑ-ዐ7ረ 8 месяцев назад +1

    "Well snap out off it!" This is I was told by a nurse😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
    I will never forget this person

  • @user-wtnss
    @user-wtnss Год назад +5

    Sometimes people just need you to hold them and tell them that you love them. Affection is not always needed in a good relationship but gratitude and respect is needed.

  • @heuristiclearning
    @heuristiclearning Год назад +4

    Doesn't the third one, 'Don't worry you will be fine' helps to some extent when it comes from someone who struggled with depression before

    • @-chirpchirp-
      @-chirpchirp- Год назад +1

      no cuz sometimes it doesn’t get better, does it?

    • @heuristiclearning
      @heuristiclearning Год назад

      @@-chirpchirp-
      I think if I insist on 'I don't know when and how because everyone's timeline is different, but there is hope of getting better and it is possible' it might serve as boost to inner strength. But it definitely demands no expectations of how and when, just strong trust in yourself.

  • @cats_shall_rule_the_world
    @cats_shall_rule_the_world 2 месяца назад

    I love that she ripped the notes apart. I might just be imagining it but I feel like it symbols destroying that bs instead of letting it get to you

  • @King_dropkicker
    @King_dropkicker Год назад +4

    Things to say to ur depressed friend:
    1: just be happy.

    • @Ashlee_283
      @Ashlee_283 Год назад

      Oh okay
      B-B-B-BUH-BUH-BLOCKED

  • @ace_pororo1455
    @ace_pororo1455 Год назад +4

    scrunged my face agreeing to this

  • @kostisfourniotc309
    @kostisfourniotc309 11 месяцев назад

    Omg I want a friend or a therapist like you. People that surround you are so lucky.

  • @TheWallowingMadman27
    @TheWallowingMadman27 Год назад +5

    This is why I don’t tell people I’m depressed unless I’m 100% certain they won’t judge me for it
    Edit: if you don’t know what to say then just listen to what they have to say.

  • @primeyoriichi
    @primeyoriichi Год назад +4

    no.5 just wait till your older
    no.6 your just faking it for attention
    no.7 I'm grounding you(say something that means they are grounding you like taking away your phone)

  • @cptswann
    @cptswann Год назад

    Thank you for letting the people know!!

  • @simrankaur8417
    @simrankaur8417 Год назад +6

    Ironically, I say all these things to myself, a depressed person 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

  • @ilikecatusesnotcacti
    @ilikecatusesnotcacti 10 месяцев назад +3

    when my bro told me he was depressed i told his ass to get over it and go to the gym
    2 weeks later he thanked me
    im better than every therapist in the world

  • @hummingfox8550
    @hummingfox8550 11 месяцев назад +1

    I was told the 1st over and over, I was so sick of it, I could barely get up to go to work everyday and I had to hear my friend at the time saying that thing over and over, he’s not my friend anymore after I started therapy and was able to acknowledge, validate my feelings and protect my mental health from people that don’t understand or care

  • @Aya-cs3hp
    @Aya-cs3hp Год назад +4

    I really wish to meet and talk with you 🥺💖