"Am I the a**hole for telling my girlfriend she doesn’t have a real job?" -> She has income and set hours. It's a real job. End of story. She is an actual accountant. Mad that people would devalue their partner like that.
Also, like, I have a 10hr a wk job. Yeah it's not much, but it's still a little extra money helping my family get by. My partner doesn't say it's not a "real job" because I only work ~10 hrs a week. That's just dumb.
That person is clearly obsessed with status / income. It's also kind of disgusting that she basically summarises it at the end as "I told my partner she doesn't have a real job in front of my *well-established* colleagues" as if she was specifically confronting her partner with it. Says a lot about the intent behind what she said.
The guy who bought a necklace instead of a ring wasn’t an asshole until she gently told him “I want the traditional ring” and he said “no, I did a different thing, so it’s too late now, you should just accept it”. I think the original idea was sweet, but once he learned it wasn’t what she wanted, he needed to reconsider.
I really disagreed with Christine on this. Ben had the right reaction, you need to talk to your partner about marriage and unless the girlfriend said I don't want a wedding ring, you can't assume that an amulet would work and you shouldn't say no, no ring for you because you didn't communicate with the girlfriend to double check.
I agree with you. I was surprised Cristine when down a whole psychological analysis of society path (which is an interesting discussion to have) but kinda missed the point of the post. The woman was sweet in expressing she wanted a ring instead, he’s upset she didn’t want the necklace as much as he thought and his ego is hurt. Him refusing to get the ring is BS
while my initial reaction was same, maybe this person is not in his best financial situation and he spent a lot of time and effort into saving for the said necklace. If you think it that way, maybe he can't afford to spend on a nice ring and that expense to him is totally unjustified as he exhausted his budget on the necklace.
@@charultripathi2409 Well if he can't afford to buy a nice ring, discuss it with the fiancee. Maybe he could return the amulet necklace. It was a thoughtful gift, but she is the one who will be wearing the engagement jewelry piece possibly every day. From the post, it sounds like she is fairly reasonable, and would make do with either a cheap ring or maybe no ring until later on.
"Men. Just get rid of them" Cristine, a respectful women trying to not be hateful towards a certain group of people: No thats not what i mean Ben, a men: Well thats what i mean I love you both
I thought it was really funny that they didn't notice that both of the partners in the relationship were female Edit- don't mean this is any negative way, it was literally just funny
@@silverskybyjanet well its more about not everytone is familiar with the (30F) format and don't know how to read it properly or in what order (me included in some cases). For example they said the girlfriend was 30 wich was the op's age and then when they came back they saw de 27 so they just got confused.
@@dydytirado9873 i mean ben seems to read fine the rest of them i dont think thats the case, i just think its a detail that slipped past them tho but it might still stem from heteronormativity.
Just so everyone's aware: Dark humor is jokes poking at your OWN past trauma and your own mental issues(or things of the like) NOT making fun of someone ELSES trauma or issues unless they have made it clear that they are comfortable with it. If you are poking fun at someone else's past trauma or issues after they have stated that they're uncomfortable with you doing that, that's not dark humor. That's bullying and is likely going into the realm of verbal abuse.
YES. I experienced this first hand with a friend, because I make a lot of jokes about the fact my mum is dead as a coping mechanism. Once, the friend made a joke about my dead mum (don't remember what she said exactly) and I laughed, but felt awkward and no one else laughed. It really made me realise that it doesn't work as well when someone else jokes about your own pain.
As a black woman who washes my hair biweekly, I’m so offended by that HR complaint 😂😂. Depending on your hair type its SOOO BAD to wash your hair everyday
I’m white and wash mine once or twice a month... I have known since a small child that frequent hair washing is bad for hair. That whole conversation was bizarre to me!
@@jaclynmccosker please tell me your secret. I have spaghetti hair and the max I can go without washing my hair is 7 days, including dry shampoo and strategic hairstyles 🙈
Yep, it's bullying. They think it's hilarious to call her ugly, for a scar she can't control? I would light their Christmas tree on fire if someone did that to me. Ok, maybe not, but I'd walk out after telling them all to go to hell.
This is true, if someone called someone the f slur for being gay and they don’t laugh then it’s really not a joke, it’s just kinda inappropriate to joke about that kinda stuff with people that aren’t okay with it, it would be different with someone that IS okay with it but since they aren’t okay with it so it’s wrong.
@@Macarxnx exactly! This applies to slurs very well. I’m a queer man and if a close friend of mine who is very accepting calls me a faggot it’s funny. If they’re ALSO lgbt its fucking hilarious... but if it’s some guy in my classes that I don’t know or a person on the internet saying it as a “joke” ...buddy I’m not laughing, I feel ✨ unsafe .✨ it should be obvious that if the target isn’t laughing, then it’s a bad joke. Or that when you place boundaries, like the girl in the story did where she said she’d leave if they did that, then they should be respected.
The ugly sweaters with her face... I would have cried at the spot. He's clearly not seeing the issue and it just shows he's going to continue being dismissive of her insecurities. She should have dumped him a long time ago.
I can’t stop wondering if the scar came from a traumatic accident. They are clearly jerks regardless but the fact that they can’t even be sensitive to something like that just makes it next level cruel.
I was so mad at this part too, one because I can relate to this girl, I too have a scar on my face and it wasn't from anything traumatic, I had to get surgery done but I was a little kid when I got it done, I hated my face because of the scar and many kids bullied me because of it, it stopped after jr high, they'd call me scar face and many other names, I always felt ugly and that no one would love someone with a scar on their face, I know if that was me in that scenario I would have yelled at them and dumped him right there, I'd leave him there and I would have left the apartment or house fast or I would have put a heavy object in front of the door so he wouldn't come in till I packed all my stuff properly and left him without him saying a word to me
And nobody have said that maybe the family aren't even joking and they actually wanted to say she is ugly in that way is just super cruel, she needs to run from that relationship 🏃♀️🏃♀️
I felt so sorry for the girl in the “my family are pranksters”-story. Not only did she tell him that she was really uncomfortable with it beforehand and reluctant to go - he excused the behavior. It stops being a joke when you target someone’s insecurities. It’s even worse when you /know/ people are getting hurt by it but you continue to do it and/or excuse it. Poor girl. :/
Totally. It's one thing to make a joke about a scar once and another to completely disregard someone else's wishes and feelings. I do not blame her at all for leaving without saying a word.
@@LaurenAnne6 I agree. The second she made it known it hurt her, it should’ve stopped completely. I’m glad she left him to find another way home - and I hope she left him for good when he did get home.
If you’re in on the joke, I think it’s fine. However, if the joke hurts the person targeted, it should stop immediately. I hate when people use the “Come on, it’s just a joke” thing. Who are you to say if a joke is offensive or not? You’re not targeted by it! Of course you won’t find it offensive.
For the "AITA for telling my girlfriend she doesn’t have a real job?" one, they updated it explained that they broke up lmao. (Also, Ben and Cristine, they were lesbians)
My jaw literally dropped when I heard the ugly sweater story. Unbelievable. Even if she's "in on the joke" it's borderline. The fact that they spent money to make her the butt of the joke is outrageous.
If the son ain't tell them how the girlfriend felt about it, I understand it, as poking fun at things your fam member is uncomfortable with but makes them & everybody laugh in the end regardless is a typical bonding activity for cynical, asshole families. They could have been trying to make her feel part of the family with that. But the son's own lack of perspective of why someone who through some accident got a scar on her face would be sensitive about being called ugly makes me strongly believe he didn't find her feelings valid enough to confront his family about her sensitivities. It doesn't matter what your perspective on her beauty is. The first time she got that scar she probably got bullied & got called ugly genuinely. Maybe she could laugh at it in a couple decades but she SAID she wasn't okay with it now. The family's actions are only wring if they knew how genuinely uncomfortable she was about it, not the "I'm uncomfortable but a lil teasing will make me uncomfortably chuckle & still know you love me" (I personally don't like that shit either but many families, seemingly his aswell, are like that).
As a person with OCD, I feel like that person shouldn't have offered to give a ride in the first place if they know they r compulsive. If you are currently unable to push past an obsessive behavior it's better to be upfront or avoid tht scenario cuz OCD behaviors can make ya look like an asshole. Love the podcast!!
Yeah, same. If someone came up to me and was like "hey, can you reach into that bucket with ungloved hands?", I would tell them no, because I would freak the fuck out. I appreciate when people wanna accommodate me because they understand that I have trouble there, but there is a line, where I'm responsible for my own disorder. And if you know that that is something you just cannot do, then it is your responsibility to let the other person know.
but i feel like it's also on the person asking for a ride. i mean if i was getting picked up i would be sure to be ready and waiting before i know they'll arrive right?
@@rainbownarah you can be ready and not be standing outside on the sidewalk though, like 36 seconds is not enough time to even open the front door and lock it behind you tbh
If anything, I feel like ESH, but I think the situation stinks generally. The person giving the ride knew it would be an issue if the other person were late, but also the person accepting the ride knew going into the situation that the person has severe OCD and being late would be a problem, and I'd probably be early in that case. I think going forward, the driver should not volunteer to do a "favor" for someone under such strict conditions though.
The “joke” on the girlfriend with the facial scar is absolutely 100% not ok. What a disgusting and horrible thing to do. You shouldn’t poke fun of anyone’s looks, especially when she’s obviously had issues with it in the past with the family bullying her about it. She’s been through some type of injury or trauma or surgery and that’s not something she has any control over. I’m so very sad that she had to experience that. What ever happened to kindness, empathy, and compassion?
She expressed her discomfort, the boyfriend failed to express boundaries to his family and so the family hasn’t stopped. The family went so far as to ORDER CUSTOM SWEATERS with her face for an ugly sweater. Even if they don’t mean it seriously, she already expressed her discomfort and they escalated the “joke”.
@rachelwinberry1271 My eyes stitched half shut because of medical reasons and and I am partially sighted basically half blind andI love people joking about because it makes me feel comfortable but the jokes make her uncomfortable So the jokes should’ve stopped straight away the boyfriend and the family are dickheads
And she's so beaten down that all she asked was that when they are nasty to her, that her boyfriend doesn't actively defend them... "thEy WerE jUst bEIng IrOnIc" At best everyone in that family including the boyfriend does not respect her and at worst they are contemptuous, she was right not to stay another second in that house. If she stayed then she would have gotten front row seat to the entire family saying she It's too sensitive and a b*tch.
Folks who are “embarrassed” by their partners’ hobbies or eccentricities are the worst. I didn’t ask you to project your insecurities about not fitting in onto me, Dale.
God, that "dark humor" family sucks. Imagine if you punched someone in the face and then got mad at them for being "Too sensetive" when they said it hurt. The person who does the hurtful thing is in the wrong, obviously.
On the socks one, he LITERALLY tells her the reason it was messed up that he threw away her socks. He says it'll take a lot of time/effort/money to find the socks again, and that's why he shouldn't have thrown them away, because it took her a lot of time and money to collect them.
If I was her I would actually go to his parents and let them know what he did. His parents saw nothing wrong with the socks, so I would let them know that he threw all of my socks out because I wore them around his family and try to get his parents to side with me. Also how boring of a person do you have to be to hate cute or funny socks...like really?!
it is so insanely normal to only wash your hair 1-3 times a week. it’s bad for your hair to wash everyday and it definitely doesn’t make you a dirty person lol that person is 1000% a male Karen Edit: For the record, there is nothing wrong with washing your hair everyday if that’s what you prefer. Some people have enough natural oils that washing every day doesn’t have a negative affect. Either way tho it’s no one else’s business
Yup. Curly hair does not like being washed that often. I had to learn the ways and my hair stopped being a frizzy mess and my curls actually looked nice.
Also not washing your hair doesn’t mean you don’t shower. the OP never mentioned tina smelled at all, just that they knew she didn’t wash her hair. you can not wash your hair often and be completely hygienic. also if tina isn’t rubbing her hair on everything i don’t feel like she’s spreading any virus particles left in her hair like ???
I shower almost everyday ifi go somewehere but wash my hair once a week. I have thiccc haird that takes almost 5 hours to dry completely and I cant move much because it will get frizzy
“Dark humor” doesn’t include making fun of someone’s appearance. 🙄🙄🙄. Dark humor should not be an excuse for being a jerk. This guys family sucks. She sounds like she’s sensitive about her facial scar- that would be really hard in our society, people can be so cruel
totally agree, i think too many people use the “its just a joke” excuse to try to reason out being rude or offensive. and jokes, dark or not are meant to be funny...
As someone who has OCD, I thought it was weird that he said he was trying to teach her a lesson. When I can’t do something, even if I promised to because of my OCD, I tend to just explain what happened. I would never try to make someone deal with my obsessions.
That's the fine line of dealing with mental conditions I think. Sometimes we feel helpless and like such a burden to everyone, and other times we swing to the opposite side and blame our behavior on others or on our condition. It's certainly not a justification, but I know I've swung back and forth my whole life, and really only just started discovering the midpoint of "being responsible for it without being at fault."
definitely but also sometimes ig if i has a thought that if they were late something bad would happen i would get really worried? but also i think they should’ve explained that to their friend and use proper communication i hav pretty bad OCD but idk what their situation is
I'm wondering if the person was actually diagnosed with OCD, or if the coworker just assumes that's what's going on for him. I am not a therapist by a long shot, but I remember a doctor explaining to me the difference between OCD and OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder) - the person with OCD typically doesn't like the compulsive behavior they are doing, it's often upsetting to them, but it's more upsetting to not do it. The person with OCPD thinks they are right for doing the compulsive behavior, that this is the right way to do this, or the only way to do this. Based on only that description, he sounds more like the second one to me.
Same. The disorder makes our lives difficult because it's abnormal behavior that we need to work on. We shouldn't inflict that stress on someone who is living a non OCD life
Hair washing story: person is definitely an asshole I only wash my hair once a week because it's healthier for my hair, it doesn't make you dirty. I still shower everyday but I just don't wash my hair.
The thing is that the virus stays on one's hair for a longer period of time , and if I hear someone say they don't wash their hair that often it whould worry me, and I know the difficulty of long hair having 30+ inches of hair my self, I sanitize my hair regularly
Afro textured hair get's dry and brittle and can break if we wash our hair too often, so those of us with afro textured hair usually wash our hair once a week.
Pertaining to the hair washing story: There is also a question here as to what type of hair the woman has. Many women with coarse/curly/dense hair don't wash their hair on a daily basis because it would literally destroy the hair's texture. Also many protective styles that black women wear are intended to be worn for a long period of time without washing.
Yes. The use of the word "Karen" makes me think maybe we have a white person judging a person of color for not having washed their hair as often. Many Black people who protectively style their hair only wash their hair every 1-2 weeks. I even know some who push it to a month.
@@andreakubiak4778 I feel like of it was a whyte women commenting about a BIPOC woman's hair she needs written up or made to take a cultural humility course. Thats very micro aggressive. Edit: im also a whyte woman.
I agree Isabela. Full disclosure, I am a white woman with black children, so I spend a ton of time listening and learning about natural hair care and have learned from some awesome Black women both online and in real life.
As a white woman I only wash my hair when it gets greasy or dirty which is about 1-2 times a week so it's not just a POC problem. I used to wash my hair everyday and it would get extremely greasy really fast and was overall dry and when I started washing it less regularly it got way healthier
On the girlfriend accounting story: I am an accountant and purposefully did not work for the Big 4. Working for a private company means you will make less, but honestly is probably better for your mental health. Working with our external auditors you can see how stressed they are all the time. The Big 4 is not a job, it’s more of a lifestyle. The girl probably knew that this lifestyle was not for her.
Saw this! I'm currently a woman working in the US at a Big 4 accounting firm and it's (people) like this that I can't stand. People don't understand why I work all the time and am stressed all year round. Good on her for knowing what she wants to do with her life. Clearly they need to talk about priorities but she has a normal job and a normal life. (They're) the one chasing these insane hours. Hard pass. Edit for assuming gender of OP was a guy
As someone who works for a big 4, I agree, its the most unhealthy job I’ve had so far. Big 4 accounting firms are the worst you are overworked, underpaid and undervalued. Industry seems like the smarter choice from where I stand.
As someone with a scar on my hand, I feel sorry for the girl in the “family pranksters” story. Scars are not always something to “joke” about because you don’t know how that person got the scar.
i had a spinal fusion and two hip bone graphs when i was 12, i went to my best friends birthday party at a water park a couple years later and two of her ex friends i had caught laughing and pointing at my back. makes no sense to laugh at someone’s scars, bc you don’t know how they got it, and how it affects how they feel about themselves
I'm leaving so many comments, but the thing about the amulet, in the comments he stated that she couldn't wear the amulet to work because it's really big and bulky and she wanted something more casual that she could wear every day. she did appreciate the amulet, but she wanted a ring so she could have a symbol for their engagement that she could wear on a day to day basis.
The socks one really made me mad. If my partner threw out all my beautiful fun socks I would dump them immediately. In fact, I would not date someone who didn't like fun socks.
And even if the socks were embarrassing to him - wtf dude! I'm super embarrassed by my fiances "protective outdoor glasses" that he wears in public EVERYTIME it snows. They're bright orange, have an elastic strap going around his head and look... Ridiculous to say the least. But he enjoys them, so who am I to kill his spirit? He's an embarrassing dumbass with ridiculous outdoor glasses, but he's my fiance too. So, to the sock dude, you're an asshole. Grow up.
I just don't understand why stupid little things like this matter so much to some people. I mean they're fucking socks. It's not like she wants a tattoo of a sock on her face or something serious. Who gives a shit about socks? Get rid of that guy, he's toxic
Another point for the girl with scar that was on the "ugly" sweater. They're also making fun of her scar. We dont know how that happened, she was obviously in some sort of accident (whether it was a small or large accident). But something like a scar shouldn't be made fun of like that. Its obviously something she is self conscious about and if it makes her uncomfortable then her partner should have supported her and told his family that they should do anymore.
@@stardoll1995 Exactly, and if someone did this to you an continually made fun of your scar before doing so then, you'd be upset to right? It make total sense. That family is just insensitive, in my opinion.
Especially when she’s indicated she’s self conscious about it and isn’t welcoming or receptive of the joking. He for sure should’ve told his family to knock it off and she didn’t like it. Respect her and her wishes.
The amulet guy was kind of a jerk in this situation. His fiancé appreciated the gesture and gently approached him for a ring and he really shot her down. But ALSO as someone who’s played Skyrim this doesn’t even make sense. The amulet is what you put on to advertise you’re single and looking for marriage so it doesn’t even make sense as an engagement ring replacement.
If I would get an amulet of Mara I would be so happy because I already have a Skyrim glass dagger replica so I'm into collecting geek stuff. But I think the amulet should have been like him pulling it out and when she was like "wait is that an amulet of Mara why do you have that?" and theeeeen he would fish out the ring. Boom perfect proposal!
an amulet from what ive seen is like 50-250 bucks too(theres 15 dollar ones but im hoping he didnt propose with one of those) so its not like hes thrown out thousands on this super expensive necklace theres no reason for him to be so angry at her for wanting a traditional engagement ring when he was the person to propose in an unconventional way without prior notice
As someone who has ocd, I can understand why the person with ocd did what they did. However, mental illness is never a justification for unreasonable behaviour, just an explanation. If the person is still in recovery (which it sounds like they are) and they are compulsive around time, they shouldn't have offered the ride, or they should have explained to the other person why it was important to them and they could have worked out a system that benefitted both of them (eg, using the rides as a form of erp and getting a ride to work). Obvi just my opinion and I don't know the full situation though.
I agree little bit different situation but I have SEVERE ADHD My ADHD will never excuse my impulsivity or my tardiness or my not having work turned in etc. but it does tell people what is going on-it’s an explanation that’s it that’s all
Am I the only one thinking the solution was just to be a few minutes early. The one needing the ride obviously knew the person was ocd about time. The driver is doing you a favor, get up a few minutes early.
I would still think the person who has severe OCD was a tiny bit considerate to have offered to give a ride, bcz it ain't easy... But I don't think the person who wrote the post knew about that person really well enough to have asked for a ride.
@@heatherreigh that’s what i was thinking, like if you know you need to leave at 7:36 on the dot, why not tell the other person to be ready by 7:35? i don’t have ocd, but i often use something of the sort when going places with friends that i know will always be running late (i.e. tell them to be there by 11:45 if they don’t need to be there until 12;00)
I agree, unless you it's a physically affecting disorder, like tourette's, then it's not fair to blame the disorder. As someone with depression, I cant always blame the fact that I dont like doing school work on my depression.
“AITA for telling my girlfriend she doesn’t have a real job” I wonder how Ben and Simply’s reaction would change (or maybe it wouldn’t) knowing that the poster is a woman talking about her girlfriend.
I thought this too! I think it would have been interesting to see their take on it when the gendered power imbalance is removed. I think it would be similar but it would have been nice
I wonder, is it more of an American thing, which is why they were unfamiliar? In the States, sometimes we have specifically go to the lab just to get our blood drawn (or pee in a cup) whereas in Canada, you would just a have nurse or medical assistant do it in the MD office when they order it?
@@drsamthefrog We have specific clinics to go to as well, they are often within a doctor's clinic building. However, I have never heard the people drawing blood introduce themselves as a phlebotomist.
@@kayleebusniuk I’m a phlebotomist and I never introduce myself that way as many patients are made more uncomfortable by long medical words. I always explain what I am doing (for example, “Hi, the doctor has ordered some blood work. Is it okay for me to draw some blood?”). Also, some doctor’s offices don’t specifically have phlebotomists, but have their nurses fill that role.
Just watching this and noticed that too. I think that they are a same sex couple could bring different points up as being important and make their wage gap seem more excessive.
I think the focus on whether the woman in the ring story should have “expected” a ring or not isn’t really the point. It sounds like (even though she did look sad about it) she was gracious about the amulet but explained in a reasonable way that she actually did want a ring, and wanted to pick one out together. This wasn’t an issue because the fiancé didn’t accurately predict what she wanted in the first place; it’s only an issue now because the fiancé got upset about her wanting a ring and basically said no because their feelings were hurt by the perceived rejection.
Absolutely! I felt like they were focusing in on a part that isn't super relevant. Yes, both people in the relationship could have communicated better about their proposal expectations beforehand to avoid disappointment, but now that it's happened, I thought it was really callous of the proposer to just ignore their girlfriend's respectfully stated wishes
The part that gets me about this: if it were a gift for *any* other reason most people would say she is unreasonable for insisting on a ring... I don't like reinforcing this idea that an engagement ring is expected (or even a gift at all) and that it is ok to complain/want something else just because it's for engagement.
@@bradcoles4615 Well, it isn't really a gift. You're expected to wear your engagement/wedding ring all the time, I assume the same would count for the amulet. I also looked it up and I personally find it really really ugly. I understand if she would feel the same. Additionally, people often don't believe women who say they're married without a ring to prove it which can make going to bars etc. stressful. This is totally different than just a gift.
@@bettievw well then that just goes to show how people can have different perspectives on subjective topics such as this and not be wrong. I definitely have a different view as a gay man. Personally I don't want any engagement ring or anything nor do I plan to get anything for my partner. I think it is wrong to say it's not a gift (it is a gift) and I also think its wrong to expect or require something. You should be happy to be engaged to the person with or without "proof". So in the end I think its selfish to *demand* something from your partner as a requirement for engagement and instead should be more of them giving something to show appreciation of you (which his amulet did because the game was important to their relationship).
@@bradcoles4615 It is and isn't a gift. It's more like a physical indicator of a contract. Oftentimes if there's a proposal and the engagement breaks off, legally the person who bought it is entitled to its return (at least in North America) - that doesn't happen with any other kind of gift. So it's in a different kind of category than just a basic gift. If we're looking at it as a physical indicator of a mutually beneficial contract (romantic, I know) then it follows that both parties should be happy with that item, but especially the one who is expected to wear it. And it's not wrong to express to your partner that you have things that are important to you as part of a proposal/wedding/marriage. Just because something is material doesn't mean that the symbolic meaning of it is irrelevant and wanting it is selfish. This is especially true when we're talking about women who often have their standards and desires within the context of relationships deemed frivolous, selfish, and unnecessary.
@@Smurfcheee I'm sick of people who show their lack of an adequate vocabulary by overusing "snowflake" as if that's the only snide or pejorative term the English language came up with.
@@Smurfcheee Dark humor is okay only when there is trust between the two parties that the joke is in fact a joke and not an actual insult or attempt to hurt the other.
Oh man, I ended up wandering over to that subreddit just to find some of these threads. The GF who was mocked, her bf was deemed the asshole, and the responses were *chef's kiss* fantastic.
People often use OCD incorrectly and tend to apply to people are very particular and not to those who genuinely have an obsessive compulsive disorder. This people said they left to "teach him a lesson" not "I had to leave because it was past the time". This is a case of "my time is more important than yours" not "I must follow this pattern because my brain insists I do it"
Yeah. For a person with actual OCD, he has to leave because he feels something bad will happen if he left even a few second late, it's more like that a person with OCd will suffer a very huge anxiety or panic attack if they do not complete their compulsion.
The person probably doesn't have ocd but anxiety could definitely be an issue. Speaking as a person with generalised anxiety disorder, I start getting palpitations and stress even if I reach work a minute or two late. I would definitely be very annoyed if I get late because of someone else. I probably wouldn't leave them behind though.
@@jessicalkarpf we are hearing only the poster's pov. Maybe he is someone who is regularly late and doesn't respect his friend's need to be punctual. In that case, that line is definitely justified.
The guy with OCD shouldn’t be told what to say because he had to leave before anxiety is too much maybe he said I had to leave because he was embarrassed saying that his OCD played a role but he did came back for his friend anyway which is even better coming back for the friend many minutes later and care for the friend and overcome the anxiety
I’m so livid at the family who bullied that dudes gf. How is that even a little bit okay?! Like she obviously wasn’t okay with any of the jokes beforehand, so why would they think it would be okay to get these weird sweaters?! Ugh. I hope they learn to be kinder.
I wash my hair every 10 days to two weeks. And I do work out 5 days a week. It's not greasy, it doesn't smell, it's not dirty and it's the healthiest, thickest and strongest it has ever been. I used to wash my hair every other day at one point and my hair was crap compared to now. I also save soooooooo much money (I have waist-long hair). I used up 3 shampoo bottles per month at one point. Now a bottle lasts me 2 months.
It makes me wonder if the Karen who complained to HR about the hair was complaining about a girl with curly hair. You are not supposed to wash your hair every day with curly hair and most people with curly hair are POC. Many POC with curly hair get remarks that their hair is dirty or unclean when in reality it is perfectly clean and fine. Curly hair take a lot of maintenance and products and needs the natural oils from your scalp to hydrate your curls.
It could have been but I don’t think so. It’s easier for straight hair to smell bad because the scalp is more exposed. On top of that, the person who complained said the hair smelled bad and for it to create a smell so bad that people nearby can smell, it must have been really dirty. I doubt, regardless of hair type, their hair was clean. What I think is that the person may have been a smoker or a stoner which makes more sense when they made the “mind your business” comments as maybe they didn’t want people to know they used drugs for recreational purposes.
@@ItsXochitlBaby where does it say her hair smells bad? She wasn't even aware the coworker wasn't washing her hair until she overheard her talking about it. We also dont have confirmation that the coworker wasn't washing her hair on workdays, because she started doing it when they started working from home more OP was being nosy and ridiculous
Maybe, but for people with very curly or thick hair, it's a pretty normal conversation topic. She probably wouldn't have mentioned it to the poster, but since the poster was eavesdropping, they can't expect everyone to edit their lives based on what they might overhear🤷🏽
In response to the “dark humor” story I would like to give my two cents. I am a person who scars easily, (I have scars from acne which I am extremely insecure about), so I’ve had my fair share of bullying because of scars that I can’t control having. The idea that this poor girl was basically told that she was being a baby for being upset about her partner’s family making her the butt of an extremely insensitive joke is infuriating! She didn’t ask to have a scar on her face and she had already expressed that it made her uncomfortable when they made jokes about it in the past. Her partner trying to excuse his family’s behavior is disgusting to me, he could’ve told his family to quit but he didn’t. I would’ve probably cried and left just like she did! She had every right to leave and has every right to be upset about her partner telling her that she was overreacting and his family essentially telling her that she is ugly for her scar. “Joke” or not it’s disgusting and I hope that girl finds someone who knows what boundaries are and respects her.
I once cried because my brother asked me how I got my skin to look so nice in a photo (I suffered from acne in my teens and still struggle with it) I can't even image how shitty it would feel to have my BF's family make fun of my face, something I cannot change.
For the ugly sweater one, any excuse the boyfriend had went out the window when his girlfriend sincerely expressed how uncomfortable that kind of "joke" made her. Your partner can say you are a god amongst men, but that doesn't mean it's easy to believe, especially when all their actions say otherwise. I can't imagine how much it hurt her to have something she was admittedly insecure about constantly made the butt of the joke.
@@ashleyferris5749 Exactly. She must have expressed discomfort at the comments the family was making in some way before mentioning this to her boyfriend, either with her facial features, her body language, or her very own words. (Even silence or her obvious avoidance are pretty big hints) Which means they ignored all those signs purposefully because they like getting a negative reaction out of her. Whether they think she needs to get knocked down a peg because they are jealous of her in some capacity or are just sadistic pieces of garbage, who knows. This is an abusive way of thinking either way, and to call her a baby afterwards... No remorse given, no forgiveness deserved. She should dump his shit in the yard where it belongs.
I really wish they had noticed it was a lesbian couple. I wanted to know their thoughts on this issue as it existed and not as a hetero couple with the gendered power imbalance y’know?!
I honestly think, and this is a common opinion, that attacking men like this so often even if they are the asshole, seems very unreasonable...and this is coming from a person who's a die hard "women empowerment" stan! I wonder if Cristine and Ben would have reacted differently if they hadn't miss them being a lesbian couple.
I think that she handled it really well. She sat down with him and had an adult conversation that she really liked the amulet but she still wanted to get a traditional ring. Even if it had never been mentioned before, she brought it up in a completely reasonable way and made it clear that she appreciated the gesture.
what really annoys me about the whole pee standing up thing is that it's ok if it splashes, BUT HOW CAN YOU JUST LEAVE THE PISS THERE FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO CLEAAAAN WTF CLEAN IT UP
True! And that goes for thicker or curlier hair in general too, even if its a Caucasian person. The idea that you have to wash your hair so often is so outdated!
I'm white with fine and straight hair and even I only wash my hair maybe twice a week 🤷♀️ We wash hands because hands touch everything and are gross. My head isn't touching ANYTHING at work so
Exactly, I wash mine with shampoo every other week. If I do it anymore than that my hair will literally start to fall out 😂. A lot of white people (not all) assume that by not washing your hair, you don’t do anything to it. I personally co-wash my hair every 2 days. It doesn’t get dirty, it’s not greasy, it’s doesn’t smell, it’s just what works for my hair.
I feel like as long as people don't go around being smelly making people uncomfortable you can shower and wash your hair as often or not as as often as you like. Like we know our own bodies best. For me I shower every 2 days and wash my hair every 3-4 days. I have never been the type of person that would shower every day cuz that would just be a waste of time for me since I don't even sweat that much so like why should I? Serves no purpose and it will just make my skin and hair dry af so it's not for me. People that say you are gross if you don't shower every day I'm so baffled by that. Are people really that sweaty? Then they are the gross ones so they can't say nothing. XD
For the one about the person who proposed to their girlfriend with an amulet of Mara, I don't think either people are assholes, but I think the proposer is being more unreasonable. Although it makes sense for the proposer to have proposed with the amulet since it comes from a video game they bonded over and since the girlfriend didn't mention wanting a ring before the proposal (as far as we know), after the proposal when the girlfriend said she wanted a ring too, why wasn't the proposer okay with getting her one? It's not like the girlfriend was being rude about the situation -- she said she appreciated the sweet gesture, but wanted a traditional ring. While I can understand the proposer feeling hurt or disappointed that the amulet wasn't as well-received as they thought it would be, I don't understand why they wouldn't just get their girlfriend a ring once they knew that's what she wanted.
I was thinking it might be a cost problem. Game jewelry in nicer material, even stainless steel can be quite expensive. It may be that he has spent his budget on the necklace and is now upset because there's no budget for a ring as well.
@@ArgentAtelier That could be true. In that case, though, the proposer (I don't think we know their gender) could have brought up the price issue, and the two of them could have come to some agreement, like maybe they go pick out a meaningful ring together but the girlfriend pays for half or all of it. From the sound of the post, it seemed like the proposer just would not consider getting a ring, full stop -- it seemed like the proposer's pride was the issue, not their bank account. However, we don't know for certain
@@mirandak7242 well I mean in their position idk if I'd still want to marry someone if they were that unappreciated and insistent on a ring, its a bit selfish.
I looked up the amulet of mara and its a fairly showey necklace. even if she did or didnt want a ring specifically, it’s understandable that she’d want something more subtle that she could actually wear everyday
A close friend of mine has type 4B hair, and she has explained some of her hair washing routine to me... and yeah, I definitely understand why she and other people with similar hair wash it less often. Also she even has to ADD some sort of oil to it in winter, as living in Scandinavia her hair isn't adapted to this climate and needs extra protection in the cold months. So her hair is "oily" but it's meant to be!
I have dry hair. I couldn’t even imagine washing my hair daily. Its not bad hygiene, its a lot worse for certain type of hair to be washed daily. Also how is hair washing related to covid lmao. That person is definitely a karen!
Thisss like they completely glossed over the fact that the poster though that somehow not washing your hair would result in a bigger chance of transmission of covid like???? What?
i havent used shampoo or conditioner in over 4 years now and my hair is less greasy than my dad or my best friend, both of whom wash their hair daily or every other day. and like you said hair DOES NOT GIVE SOMEONE COVID
@@kaileyy2991 I think only water, no soap or anything, because soaps strip your oils. I heard your hair adapts to it and your scalp produces less oils. Or maybe a shampoo without soap, without sulfates, but idk what it does do instead.
Regaining the sock story, that makes me feel so sad. That is a huge sign. If I were her, I'm be afraid of things just escalating from there and that I wouldn't notice because things are just slowly getting worse.
I think ring lady didn't know she wanted a ring until it happened. She voiced her desire respectfully. If money is the issue they could have worked that out.
Yeah and despite the usual marketing / social pressure to spend like, several months salary at least, there’s actually no reason for a ring to be particularly bank-breaking. You can get beautiful lab created diamonds or moissanite rings for a couple hundred or less.
Unless he found some crazy custom job, I found these amulets on etsy for $30...............while a good concept, it's not like he's set back months and months........
"it wasn't even a big mountain" Man, I love home office. It would be such a hassle to explain to my coworkers why I just burst out straight up crying with laughter
That "ugly sweater" story actually made me livid as Ben was reading it... I just... Wow. What assholes. I would get rid of him and his horrible family.
I’ve never disagreed with Cris more than the relic/ring situation. The girl was nice about the situation she didn’t demand a ring she just wanted one, and that’s so understandable.. the boyfriend shouldn’t be so stubborn and actually listen to what would make her happy.
in a update he said that he, got her a ring, he was unreasonbel and if i rember it right they are married now and she wore the amulet at the wedding ore she will wear it at the wedding
I'm a guy and usually pee sitting down because I'm pretty bad at aiming and don't want to clean up any splashage... So it's super annoying that I have two roommates that pee standing up and who don't clean up their splashage, and they don't care that they leave behind PEE SMELL. I hate being the only person who seems to care that the washroom smells like pee!
as someone with curly hair it’s so funny to hear people discuss cowashing (only conditioner no shampoo) and not washing your hair often is weird. they both really help your hair and really the only people that should wash their hair every day or even every other day are people with extremely oily hair that cant handle it or those who are v active
Yeah, communication and honesty are vital to discussing marriage and relationships. I love "Lord of the Rings," but I would be disappointed if my partner proposed to me with a licensed replica of Galadriel's silver ring. Some couples are happily married without any rings, and some couples have been together for decades without marrying. It's all about listening to your partner's feelings and requests.
Honestly I feel bad for both sides on that one. Personally as a video game person who gets wayyy too excited about small details in games and movies I think the Amulet of Mara was very clever and sweet way to ask if she wanted to get married, seeing as the item indicates you're available for marriage, and so her accepting the necklace would mean she is saying yes and does want to get married. I think he missed the mark a bit by not asking directly or through one of her friends if she wanted a traditional ring or some other symbolic item as her actual wedding band. I think it's very sweet as a tool/prop for the proposal but he should have communicated more to know what his partner wants. I understand he would be upset that they weren't on the same page when he did so much planning, but it sounds like she approached him about it in a very mature way to express how she felt.
@@ktea7297 yeah, i totally think the idea was super cute, and people should do what makes them happy. Just bummed their communication didnt line up with that.
this is so besides the point but if I may, I have a question. i hear stories like this all the time of people meeting in random places in the wild. How do people go from total strangers to romantic partners?? I would _never_ want to hit on a girl in a store because its probably the last thing she wants. If you're comfortable sharing, how did you and your bf go from strangers in a shop to partners?
@@pvic6959 yeah, no problem. So I am not someone that typically takes peoples number at work or give mine out, I'm very professional NORMALLY. Okay but this one day, I was at work with one other coworker and it was dead slow. I'm talking one customer for 3 hours. We finished all our tasks and we were just making stupid bets out of boredom. So the bet was that I could get any persons number that might come in for the rest of the shift, without asking for it. Save me the criticism I was 18 and it was just dumb. Haha. So of course, no one came in. Until 30 minutes to closing. And this guy walks in, and instantly i had butterflies, which wasn't normal for me. I'm not a shy girl, so it was weird, but he was so handsome. So I asked if i could help him find anything, he said he already knew what he needed so he proceeded to the counter where my male coworker was waiting. Gets the video game he came for, and my coworker asks him if he wanted to open an account with the company so he would get points for buying and discounts and whatever. So he gives my coworker his info for the account, and after he said his phone number the words "what was that again" just sort of fell out of my mouth. I felt like a fool😂. But i had to play it off of course, so I cleverly followed that up with "just kidding, hahaha" and we all 3 laughed. Ugh, cringe. And then the guy leaves. And i had this sick gut feeling that i fucked up by not getting his number for real. I even expressed it to my coworker, and he "offered" to get the guys phone number from the system😂. Of course i said no, i dont want to be a creep. And just accepted that i didnt get the guys number. So 15 minutes passes, and the guy comes back in. I'm watching him from behind the counter and he is looking all over the carpet frantically, like he dropped something. But i had just vacuumed so i knew there wasnt anything on that floor but he says "I lost something, it's really important, it isnt for me, i have to find it". He gets up to the counter, and pulls something out of his pocket and smacks it on the counter, saying "found it, it was for you", and he walked away before i even realized what it was. It was a little scrap of paper with his first name and phone number. So I called him the next day and the rest is history, 7 years later.
Oh wow, I have quite long hair but it does only take 10 to 15 minutes to blow dry, which already feels to long for me, so I mostly stop after some minutes because I'm lazy. Can't image how it is to have hair that takes so long to dry, because even letting it dry in the air must takes hours. Main reason to cut my hair at some point was always that it takes to long to dry
@@lw1717 Yep, if I use a blow-dryer on my hair it'll probably take an hour or two, but when I air dry it (which I actually prefer)... often it's still a tiny bit damp even 24 hours later😅 If I washed it every day I'd just have wet hair forever lol
The proposal one, I feel like the woman didn’t necessarily specify she wanted a ring bc she assumed like most people when the time came the poster would propose with a ring and didn’t dream that they would propose with an amulet. I don’t feel it’s unreasonable to ask for one and the fact he is upset isn’t fair to her either. She didn’t ask for a necklace. I feel like if someone is proposing with a non-traditional thing they should point blank ask their partner.
Furthermore a ring is symbolic of "forever". Video game servers and the games people play on them inevitably shut down. Who knows how long that necklace is going to "exist". And you know everyone and their mothers are going to hound her about where her ring is.
Exactly! she asked calmly and nicely if they could ALSO get rings. She didn't hate the necklace, she didn't scoff and say no when she saw it. She thought the gesture was sweet but wanted a more traditional item that her family and friends (Even strangers who hit on her or whatever) would understand. Who knows, maybe she herself just didn't feel a strong emotional connection to a video game meme group from perhaps years ago? There is nothing wrong with having two sentimental items. Like if your boyfriend gets you a teddy bear AND a matching t shirt you don't have to sacrifice one to the almighty gods and burn it in a pit do you? Like jesus dude if you love her just listen to the words coming out of her mouth and stop being a child. Just get like matching plain bands? A ring FROM SKYRIM? They have those too! COMPROMISE. She wasn't even angry with him smh, a wedding is supposed to represent both partners in the union, if she's just feeling sad that her partner doesn't care about her feelings or thoughts then what's she supposed to think? Is she supposed to act like an NPC happily ever after?
@@Haylla2008 For a little context, I'm pretty sure he bought her a real life replica of the item from the game. The Amulet of Mara is given as a symbol of being ready/open to marriage. He was literally asking her to marry him with the item you use to propose in the game's lore. So servers have nothing to do with it.
@@zombei_kid After rereading the post, I realize you are correct. But, the truth remains that there are still many reasons why someone might want a ring. It's hard to know who is right or wrong in this situation since we don't know her reasoning nor whether he even bothered to ask her about her reasoning.
@@Haylla2008 It sounds like in an update, they did get rings together and he admitted he let his hurt feelings get the best of him! They're all good now. I can see why both of them feel the way they did and hopefully it helped them see they need clearer communication before marriage.
my hair isshort like a little above my shoulders and i dont wash it everyday its ral think tho and ggets hella frizzy so i assume my hair needs the oils to hydrate it.
@@AlexSmith-qw3nl I have a skin condition, I wash my hair every other day, sometimes every three days so my scalp stops itching. I literally can't wash my hair less...
@@AlexSmith-qw3nl my hair is straight and long, not frizzy maybe a bit wavy on some days. I have some oil for my skin condition that I put on when it gets really bad it's just that I have to 100% wash it the next day as it doesn't get absorbed. It just sit on my scabs and soften them a little bit.
In regard to the ring situation, she may want it just so that she has a more traditional way of letting others know that she's taken. If people don't see that ring, they may assume she's not actually taken and not believe her situation. I've seen that happen in real life where my friend was part of a religion that didn't believe in buying rings for marriage. She was incredibly upset, because people wouldn't believe that she was actually married. She begged her husband to buy a ring for her, which he did. The poster wasn't an asshole for the original thought, the issue arises with the refusal to consider getting her the ring as well, especially given that she presented her feelings in a calm, understandable manner and understood and appreciated the meaning.
For sure, my main issue was with him being I did this nice thing why would we need anything else??? I think just listening to her about that was what was needed. I think the original gesture and icon thing was sweet and seemed for perfect for them. It didn't sound like she was ungrateful or rude about not having a real ring just wanted something different. Don't think either are the asshole in that situation
Yeah, I'll say for me personally I wouldn't want to have to spend the entirety of my engagement, and maybe even marriage, explaining to people why I don't have a ring. The guy wasn't in the wrong for trying to be thoughtful, but I don't think he realizes that when women get engaged the first thing they're asked is what the ring looks like, and she might not want to explain the amulet thing to every single person who asks.
I agree with you, especially because I know the amulet they’re referring too is huge and very impractical. One of the good things about rings is you can wear it all the time but this necklace has 5 large circles, two that are 1 inch diameter, 2.with a 2 inch diameter and one with a 3 inch diameter (approx) So it’s not a practical thing to wear all the time
@@mcq6120 it's not just socks, it's her partner throwing away her possessions. i'd be just as concerned if a woman did this to her male partner. it's a red flag.
I appreciate that the Skyrim boyfriend put thought and feeling into the proposal and maybe feels let down he didn't quite read the situation correctly. However I was really not ok that he completely shut her down when she reassured him but expressed her desire for a ring. If you aren't willing to hear your partner out or compromise, you shouldn't be in the relationship (treat others how *they* want to be treated, not how you want to be treated). He didn't sound like a bad guy but it does seem this proposal was centred around what he wanted and what he thought was meaningful, without effort to consider his girlfriend's feelings once it became clear they were not on the same page.
“Secret private box” : My head: serial killer trophies
3 года назад+4
That would be my first question! I would ask about the crazy possibilities, murder weapon, portal to another dimension, rare jewels, etc. and probably drop it once I rule out all the extremes.
Exactly! 😂 I instantly remembered Joes box in the “You” series 😁 I understand that he has a right to privacy, but at the same time, your partner should be someone you can tell everything 🤷🏻♀️ I would probably instantly think something really really bad, because anything else we just can discuss 🤷🏻♀️ but I can’t speak for other relationships, that’s just mine ... for me it would be really weird 🤷🏻♀️ if I had something really painful in there, my partner would be the ONLY one I would WANT to talk about it to
Exactly! There is a difference between privacy and a locked secret box full of secrets! She's not worried it's his mom's ashes, she's worried it might be a bunch of undies belonging to dead girls.
i don’t think she was mad that he didn’t buy her a ring, the poster even mentions that she loved the proposal and then stated she also wanted a traditional ring. If she realized she never made that clear she should apologize but then they can go shopping together. I think he needs to get over himself- she prolly wants the ring so people see it and realize she’s engaged vs ppl thinking she’s just wearing a merch piece.
@@AnimeSukiUn you get wedding gifts from other people. A simple $500 ring would probably suffice if they’re willing to spend money on a wedding. If you’re gonna participate in a ceremony about owning women you better cater to her every want. next
@@AnimeSukiUn My ring is $80. It's what I wanted - you don't have to spend hundreds of dollars... Currently she doesn't have anything but an item in an online game, which I find pretty damn weird if both people haven't agreed on it. What if he'll also want a game wedding and take screenshots to hang on their walls for later?
The thing about the hair; this is a real, common technique to retrain your hair to stop getting greasy. My mum washes her hair every single day and she washed my hair daily as a child which strips your hair of its natural oils without giving it a chance to recuperate so it would become greasy again by the end of the day. Severe depression stopped me from washing my hair even weekly, but ended up being a blessing in disguise as my hair adapted and I can now go several days without the need to shampoo my hair. The person who complained is definitely the asshole and displaying Karen behaviour, it’s Tina’s business what she does with her hair and OP can just stay away from her, however, it’s not appropriate for HR to reveal who complained to Tina as those complaints are intended to be private and OP likely expected confidentiality. I agree with Cristine that until the term Karen was mentioned, I assumed they were a man because this is a common thing people do if they have long hair. Furthermore, OP does not say Tina smells, just that they heard her say she was doing this, if she isn’t disrupting the workplace by smelling bad, what’s the issue? It’s an office, not retail where you’re greeting customers often. Edit: Finance guy; definitely just a misogynist asshole. While I realise not everyone experiences ASD the same, as an autistic person myself, I think I have some authority to say he’s just bitch. The not picking up on social cues at drinks just seems like misogynist guy behaviour I’ve experienced from men with a narcissist god complex. His girlfriend needs to dump him so hard, he’s found a person who enjoys their career (a fulfilling aspect of her life) and a passion (her car), these are all good qualities to have in a partner, what an asshole. With the proposal, I think it’s fine that OP proposed with something else, however, when their girlfriend vocalised she wanted something different, they should be able to work towards achieving that. Necklaces aren’t always appropriate with certain outfits (especially if it’s an amulet, which I’m visualising as something quite bulky?), but engagement and wedding rings are something you can wear all the time and also because of social expectations and practices, a ring signals to others that she’s engaged, a necklace does not and she may want to display to others that she is. I don’t think OP is the asshole for the initial unconventional proposal, but it’s a bit of a dick move to flat out refuse to compromise on a ring with someone you’re trying to sign a contract to spend the rest of your life with. Edit of edit: I googled Amulet of Mara and it is very large and probably not something you’d want to wear everyday, seems extra unreasonable that OP expects this of their partner, it’s cute, but unrealistic. I’ve also read another comment mentioning the finance couple is actually 2 women, this almost makes me feel worse about it. I expect this behaviour from some men, but as a woman in a male dominated industry OP should understand and respect her partner’s career more so than a man might. Yuck, disrespectful behaviour.
I stopped showering every day due to depression to. And it is really a thing))) Also, water in my country is not so good and daily showers will do more harm for hair and skin than good.
It doesn't work for everyone unfortunately. My husband has really greasy hair and doesn't wash it very often, especially since quarantine. Infrequent washing is apparently not reducing overall oil levels :l Meanwhile I dye my hair green so I try to wash my hair as little as I can get away with, and I've found that I can usually do 1 or two washes a week and it's fine. I just don't have an oily head I guess.
I actually use the no-poo method to wash my hair and before when I used shampoo if I skipped washing my hair for 1 day it would be greasy the next day. Now I've gone through the no-poo process it probably takes my hair about 4-5 days before it starts to get greasy at the scalp. Its way more convenient and my hair did feel softer after making this change.
I understand the hair issue, I have curly hair and a lot of research shows that with curly hair, depending on how curly it is, you should be only washing your hair once maybe twice a week, and maybe only shampooing once or twice a month.
Just got flashback about one of my past relationships. He proposed without a ring, I said yes. Later I asked if he’s thinking about getting a ring. He seemed to get that I want a ring but then get me a random bracelet instead. I was so confused and super hesitant to talk about it again. When I finally said something (randomly mentioned, not straight up asking for it) he got mad and said the bracelet was a “step” towards the ring, and because he think I took his gift for granted so now he will have to think about it. I felt guilty that I wanted a ring, questioned myself why I even want one, am I a bad gf,... Omg it was a mess. Later I decided that he was being manipulative and left. Sorry for long and probably unrelated comment, just want to get off my chest.
Good for you for leaving! There's nothing wrong with clearing up communication. There is something wrong with someone trying to guilt trip your emotions and manipulate what you want. I hope you feel better now! 💜
It felt sort of abusive here too. No clear communication he mentioned beforehand. And then the fact she had to sit down and assure HIM she liked it! Yes, but she does want a ring??? Like she was expecting a fight. And then there was a fight. Nowhere did he really think she’d like it, it was more about him liking it. That is an awful pretense for giving ANY gift to someone.
As somebody who has bright dyed hair and regularly goes on hikes/runs. I won’t wash my hair if it’s not overly dirty or gross. I’ll use dry shampoo in between washes to hold my hair though. I wouldn’t wash my hair every day because I would basically be pouring money down the drain. But, if somebody at work has greasy hair to a point I would notice it, I would NEVER make an HR complaint, that’s crazy.
@@amolpreetkaur3443 Yeah I think the post said that Tina wouldn't wash her hair if she's going to be working from home (I know for sure that I wash my hair far less now than when I was working full time), not that she wouldn't wash her hair if she's coming into the office.
@Megan Strobel Oh yeah if I’m going swimming I absolutely wash my hair! Especially cause where I live there’s a lot of natural water springs and rivers to go swimming in as opposed to pools and you never know what’s in that water. It just shows that everybody’s hair situation is different :)
@Megan Strobel clorine sucks for hair, agreed , much more than shampoo... Lost a considerable amount of hair when i used to go swimming. That's why I don't prefer swimming being a regular thing for myself.
That's an adorable story! One of my favorite engagement stories I heard from my high school teacher. They were at a ball game, her boyfriend proposed, and he gave her a simple metal ring that he made in his workshop. They both knew she didn't want a diamond ring, and she still wore it years later as a beloved symbol of their marriage.
How would that "36 seconds late" thing work, though? Did the driver pull in at exactly that time and do a drive by because the second they stopped, they too would be late? Was it acceptable to be early? For either of them?
Re: the “dirty” hair one: shampoos typically have sulphates in them that strip the natural hair oils. I know this as someone who has followed the Curly Girl Method, where shampoo is practically forbidden to the stricter followers
i was wondering the whole time if the woman Tina had curly hair or not because that could’ve changed their opinions a lot! well actually either way, OP should’ve minded his own business. people are still clean if they don’t wash their hair everyday.
To be fair I only have wavy hair but super thick and long (my mom's side has curly hair so I have weird texture but no curls unfortunately) so basically I cannot wash my hair often. It's a nightmare each time plus it doesn't get oily. So I wash my hair usually once a week, sometimes twice if I sweated a lot (like intense cardio or sth) and that's how I keep my hair nice and long and thick. I couldn't even imagine washing it all the time, since it just makes your hair oilier. Plus I use sulfate free shampoo, and honestly it makes a huge difference.
I have long, super straight hair. I wash it about every three days. Every day would dry my hair out so badly, it’s better to let your hair produce natural oils and ✨marinate✨ for a little bit
I have long thick wavy hair that is a nightmare if I wash it every day. sticks straight up and nothing will hold it down. Its been a lifesaver to learn that I don't have to wash it every day as I was conditioned that I was "dirty" if I didn't. As long as someone doesn't smell who cares.
Cristine-about the ring-because she wanted one, if she later expressed she wanted one he should have capitulated. You may not give the tradition importance, others do. She very tactfully appreciated it.
I've had OCD diagnosis since I was young and it should go without saying that you can't push your triggers on other people in an attempt to control or berate a person. "Teach them a lesson" and scold them the whole ride there isn't OCD it's controlling. Not to say triggers haven't gotten in the way or affected the people around me. But there has to be self reflection and realize people don't consent to being berated by it. I'm going to venture he uses the diagnosis to further manipulate other people as well.
I don't have ocd, but if i was pivking someone up and they weren't there I would drive away. just like if someone was picking me up i would be ready a minute or five before.
Also why didn’t he mention that going down the mountain is 10x times more dangerous than going up? Definitely tried to make himself look good in this situation
Re: amulet instead of ring for proposal I totally get the idea of breaking down traditional stereotypes and it's always a good idea to bring up whether or not you care about having specific traditions. So on that front, I don't think the girlfriend should've expected a ring. It makes perfect sense that the poster got an amulet from a game significant to their relationship and I, personally, think it's well thought out and quite sweet. But I also think the fact that the girlfriend later sat the poster down and expressed her desire for a ring is valid. She didn't say it before but she is now saying it. Presumably, they're ready for lifelong commitment so they should be able to have a conversation about engagement jewelry. And it sounds like she expressed appreciation for the amulet/necklace as well. Poster can certainly be hurt but they should be able to discuss it so that everyone is happy with their engagement. A related note: there are reasons to want a ring proposal that aren't just abiding by tradition. Wearing a ring can be the most effective way to "broadcast" that you're engaged since socially, most people understand the significance. This can help women avoid unwanted advances (sad reality) or maybe you're just the kind of person to want everyone to know you're engaged.
For the "relic amulet proposal" The amulet of mara is the Skyrim in-game proposal item to incite marriage proposal dialogue with NPCs. Its in theory a sweet idea. HOWEVER, the amulet itself is clunky, massive (like, legit the size of my palm) and very clearly looks like a cosplay piece (as well as most pieces for sale on etsy or other places are explicitly only being sold as costume jewelry aka they won't work or last long as a wear-everyday necklace). I'm an avid gamer and I have been since I was a kid, but even if I met my boyfriend on an online game making a decision like that and not including her in it is pretty inconsiderate. If they met over that 6 years ago and are older (and maybe she fell out of love with that game even, it happens) I can see how she would want a more traditional proposal since it could make her uncomfortable explaining the lack of a ring to friends and family afterwards. To me, it honestly just sounds really cheap of him the most 'expensive' amulet of mara to buy is like 50$. You are absolutely the asshole for trying to push a '''''gamer''''' proposal on someone who doesn't want one.
And tbh it seemed like she appreciated the thought but expected a ring too. She brought up that she wanted to go ring shopping as a couple and the other person shot her down. So they aren't listening to her despite her raising her thoughts after she has agreed to the proposal. My partner proposed without a ring, and we chose one together. I didn't expect a ring but I liked the experience of both of us having an input and we discussed it. If I didn't want a ring we wouldn't have got one and if he wanted a ring we would have got him one too.
This. I also enjoy games and the whole thing seems REALLY cute to me, but they should have discussed before hand. He could have asked if she would be open to a non-traditional relationship symbol before fully committing, thus saving the headache and potential money issue with the amulet. If he couldn’t pick a ring, they could have shopped together like she suggested.
The one about the coworker not washing her hair as often: Who said that she wasn't washing her hair before going to work? When I read that I thought she meant when she was home she didn't have to wash her hair as much.
Happy Taco Tuesday everyone🌮 🌮 🌮 🌮 🌮
you too! 🥳🌮
Happy Taco Tuesday, Mom and Dad! 🌮
Happy taco Tuesday!
Tell menchie and zyler I say holo! 🐱
U to mum and dad 🌮💿📀
"Am I the a**hole for telling my girlfriend she doesn’t have a real job?" -> She has income and set hours. It's a real job. End of story. She is an actual accountant. Mad that people would devalue their partner like that.
Also, like, I have a 10hr a wk job. Yeah it's not much, but it's still a little extra money helping my family get by. My partner doesn't say it's not a "real job" because I only work ~10 hrs a week. That's just dumb.
Agree, to devalue anyone like that is horrible, it is a real job and equally valid as any other job
That person is clearly obsessed with status / income. It's also kind of disgusting that she basically summarises it at the end as "I told my partner she doesn't have a real job in front of my *well-established* colleagues" as if she was specifically confronting her partner with it. Says a lot about the intent behind what she said.
I really felt that story had to be fake. I'd really like to think no one is that obtuse.
She should 100% leave him. He's horrible. Sounds like they will break up soon too
The guy who bought a necklace instead of a ring wasn’t an asshole until she gently told him “I want the traditional ring” and he said “no, I did a different thing, so it’s too late now, you should just accept it”. I think the original idea was sweet, but once he learned it wasn’t what she wanted, he needed to reconsider.
I really disagreed with Christine on this. Ben had the right reaction, you need to talk to your partner about marriage and unless the girlfriend said I don't want a wedding ring, you can't assume that an amulet would work and you shouldn't say no, no ring for you because you didn't communicate with the girlfriend to double check.
Exactly! That necklace couldn't be wore everytime .
I agree with you. I was surprised Cristine when down a whole psychological analysis of society path (which is an interesting discussion to have) but kinda missed the point of the post. The woman was sweet in expressing she wanted a ring instead, he’s upset she didn’t want the necklace as much as he thought and his ego is hurt. Him refusing to get the ring is BS
while my initial reaction was same, maybe this person is not in his best financial situation and he spent a lot of time and effort into saving for the said necklace. If you think it that way, maybe he can't afford to spend on a nice ring and that expense to him is totally unjustified as he exhausted his budget on the necklace.
@@charultripathi2409 Well if he can't afford to buy a nice ring, discuss it with the fiancee. Maybe he could return the amulet necklace. It was a thoughtful gift, but she is the one who will be wearing the engagement jewelry piece possibly every day. From the post, it sounds like she is fairly reasonable, and would make do with either a cheap ring or maybe no ring until later on.
"Men. Just get rid of them"
Cristine, a respectful women trying to not be hateful towards a certain group of people: No thats not what i mean
Ben, a men: Well thats what i mean
I love you both
I thought it was really funny that they didn't notice that both of the partners in the relationship were female
Edit- don't mean this is any negative way, it was literally just funny
@@petals3091 When the AITA Twitter account posted this, most people didn’t notice it was two women. Heteronormativity. 🤷🏻♀️
@@silverskybyjanet well its more about not everytone is familiar with the (30F) format and don't know how to read it properly or in what order (me included in some cases). For example they said the girlfriend was 30 wich was the op's age and then when they came back they saw de 27 so they just got confused.
@@dydytirado9873 I’m not just referring to the video.
@@dydytirado9873 i mean ben seems to read fine the rest of them i dont think thats the case, i just think its a detail that slipped past them tho but it might still stem from heteronormativity.
Just so everyone's aware: Dark humor is jokes poking at your OWN past trauma and your own mental issues(or things of the like) NOT making fun of someone ELSES trauma or issues unless they have made it clear that they are comfortable with it. If you are poking fun at someone else's past trauma or issues after they have stated that they're uncomfortable with you doing that, that's not dark humor. That's bullying and is likely going into the realm of verbal abuse.
LOVE. THANK YOU.
YES. I experienced this first hand with a friend, because I make a lot of jokes about the fact my mum is dead as a coping mechanism. Once, the friend made a joke about my dead mum (don't remember what she said exactly) and I laughed, but felt awkward and no one else laughed. It really made me realise that it doesn't work as well when someone else jokes about your own pain.
YES!!
Definitely. I heard that one and immediately knew he and his family were the assholes, that’s terrible
Yes exactly what I was thinking
As a black woman who washes my hair biweekly, I’m so offended by that HR complaint 😂😂. Depending on your hair type its SOOO BAD to wash your hair everyday
Ikr?!
I’m white and wash mine once or twice a month... I have known since a small child that frequent hair washing is bad for hair. That whole conversation was bizarre to me!
@@jaclynmccosker please tell me your secret. I have spaghetti hair and the max I can go without washing my hair is 7 days, including dry shampoo and strategic hairstyles 🙈
@@Blackonyeko I have dry hair! I might not get greasy for like a month lol.
@@jaclynmccosker guess I gotta keep searching for an answer, you're so lucky ! Thanks though 🙈💖
It’s not a joke when the targeted person can’t laugh along. Period.
Nah
@@jayespinoza8543 i smell a pick me
Yep, it's bullying. They think it's hilarious to call her ugly, for a scar she can't control? I would light their Christmas tree on fire if someone did that to me. Ok, maybe not, but I'd walk out after telling them all to go to hell.
This is true, if someone called someone the f slur for being gay and they don’t laugh then it’s really not a joke, it’s just kinda inappropriate to joke about that kinda stuff with people that aren’t okay with it, it would be different with someone that IS okay with it but since they aren’t okay with it so it’s wrong.
@@Macarxnx exactly! This applies to slurs very well. I’m a queer man and if a close friend of mine who is very accepting calls me a faggot it’s funny. If they’re ALSO lgbt its fucking hilarious... but if it’s some guy in my classes that I don’t know or a person on the internet saying it as a “joke” ...buddy I’m not laughing, I feel ✨ unsafe .✨ it should be obvious that if the target isn’t laughing, then it’s a bad joke. Or that when you place boundaries, like the girl in the story did where she said she’d leave if they did that, then they should be respected.
The ugly sweaters with her face... I would have cried at the spot. He's clearly not seeing the issue and it just shows he's going to continue being dismissive of her insecurities. She should have dumped him a long time ago.
Yeah if my Husband did that I would get a divorce. Like... that's a deal breaker it's too mean.
Yes I was feeling sad for her. And I would have dumped him on the spot
I can’t stop wondering if the scar came from a traumatic accident. They are clearly jerks regardless but the fact that they can’t even be sensitive to something like that just makes it next level cruel.
I was so mad at this part too, one because I can relate to this girl, I too have a scar on my face and it wasn't from anything traumatic, I had to get surgery done but I was a little kid when I got it done, I hated my face because of the scar and many kids bullied me because of it, it stopped after jr high, they'd call me scar face and many other names, I always felt ugly and that no one would love someone with a scar on their face, I know if that was me in that scenario I would have yelled at them and dumped him right there, I'd leave him there and I would have left the apartment or house fast or I would have put a heavy object in front of the door so he wouldn't come in till I packed all my stuff properly and left him without him saying a word to me
And nobody have said that maybe the family aren't even joking and they actually wanted to say she is ugly in that way is just super cruel, she needs to run from that relationship 🏃♀️🏃♀️
I felt so sorry for the girl in the “my family are pranksters”-story. Not only did she tell him that she was really uncomfortable with it beforehand and reluctant to go - he excused the behavior. It stops being a joke when you target someone’s insecurities. It’s even worse when you /know/ people are getting hurt by it but you continue to do it and/or excuse it. Poor girl. :/
Totally. It's one thing to make a joke about a scar once and another to completely disregard someone else's wishes and feelings. I do not blame her at all for leaving without saying a word.
I felt so bad for her. My jaw dropped when he described the sweaters. I thought "good for her" when she ditched him there.
@@LaurenAnne6 I agree. The second she made it known it hurt her, it should’ve stopped completely. I’m glad she left him to find another way home - and I hope she left him for good when he did get home.
@@Clairebee Indeed!
If you’re in on the joke, I think it’s fine. However, if the joke hurts the person targeted, it should stop immediately.
I hate when people use the “Come on, it’s just a joke” thing. Who are you to say if a joke is offensive or not? You’re not targeted by it! Of course you won’t find it offensive.
For the "AITA for telling my girlfriend she doesn’t have a real job?" one, they updated it explained that they broke up lmao. (Also, Ben and Cristine, they were lesbians)
Thank goodness they broke up! That poor girl 😅
I hope she got all her money back from that fund
🤣 I am not surprised.
Thank god she got out of that
I’m so happy someone else noticed they are lesbians
My jaw literally dropped when I heard the ugly sweater story. Unbelievable. Even if she's "in on the joke" it's borderline. The fact that they spent money to make her the butt of the joke is outrageous.
ooo I would be pissed if I were to experience that. Would hardcore dump him
If the son ain't tell them how the girlfriend felt about it, I understand it, as poking fun at things your fam member is uncomfortable with but makes them & everybody laugh in the end regardless is a typical bonding activity for cynical, asshole families. They could have been trying to make her feel part of the family with that.
But the son's own lack of perspective of why someone who through some accident got a scar on her face would be sensitive about being called ugly makes me strongly believe he didn't find her feelings valid enough to confront his family about her sensitivities.
It doesn't matter what your perspective on her beauty is. The first time she got that scar she probably got bullied & got called ugly genuinely. Maybe she could laugh at it in a couple decades but she SAID she wasn't okay with it now.
The family's actions are only wring if they knew how genuinely uncomfortable she was about it, not the "I'm uncomfortable but a lil teasing will make me uncomfortably chuckle & still know you love me" (I personally don't like that shit either but many families, seemingly his aswell, are like that).
This one was horrible. That guy and his family are most definitely the assume. That poor girl
As a person with OCD, I feel like that person shouldn't have offered to give a ride in the first place if they know they r compulsive. If you are currently unable to push past an obsessive behavior it's better to be upfront or avoid tht scenario cuz OCD behaviors can make ya look like an asshole. Love the podcast!!
Yeah, same. If someone came up to me and was like "hey, can you reach into that bucket with ungloved hands?", I would tell them no, because I would freak the fuck out. I appreciate when people wanna accommodate me because they understand that I have trouble there, but there is a line, where I'm responsible for my own disorder. And if you know that that is something you just cannot do, then it is your responsibility to let the other person know.
but i feel like it's also on the person asking for a ride. i mean if i was getting picked up i would be sure to be ready and waiting before i know they'll arrive right?
@@rainbownarah you can be ready and not be standing outside on the sidewalk though, like 36 seconds is not enough time to even open the front door and lock it behind you tbh
Thank you! I also have OCD. This needed to be said!
If anything, I feel like ESH, but I think the situation stinks generally. The person giving the ride knew it would be an issue if the other person were late, but also the person accepting the ride knew going into the situation that the person has severe OCD and being late would be a problem, and I'd probably be early in that case. I think going forward, the driver should not volunteer to do a "favor" for someone under such strict conditions though.
The “joke” on the girlfriend with the facial scar is absolutely 100% not ok. What a disgusting and horrible thing to do. You shouldn’t poke fun of anyone’s looks, especially when she’s obviously had issues with it in the past with the family bullying her about it. She’s been through some type of injury or trauma or surgery and that’s not something she has any control over. I’m so very sad that she had to experience that. What ever happened to kindness, empathy, and compassion?
I had to pause this part so many times because I was ranting before the story was even finished. That whole family SUCK!
@@amywonderland9297 they do!
She expressed her discomfort, the boyfriend failed to express boundaries to his family and so the family hasn’t stopped. The family went so far as to ORDER CUSTOM SWEATERS with her face for an ugly sweater. Even if they don’t mean it seriously, she already expressed her discomfort and they escalated the “joke”.
@rachelwinberry1271
My eyes stitched half shut because of medical reasons and and I am partially sighted basically half blind andI love people joking about because it makes me feel comfortable but the jokes make her uncomfortable So the jokes should’ve stopped straight away the boyfriend and the family are dickheads
And she's so beaten down that all she asked was that when they are nasty to her, that her boyfriend doesn't actively defend them...
"thEy WerE jUst bEIng IrOnIc"
At best everyone in that family including the boyfriend does not respect her and at worst they are contemptuous, she was right not to stay another second in that house.
If she stayed then she would have gotten front row seat to the entire family saying she It's too sensitive and a b*tch.
Folks who are “embarrassed” by their partners’ hobbies or eccentricities are the worst. I didn’t ask you to project your insecurities about not fitting in onto me, Dale.
Yes, that pisses me off so much, like come on it’s 2021 aren’t we kinda past that?
@@anastasialovesoranges People want a redo of the Civil War in 2021.
@@anastasialovesoranges Nope.
I know, right? Have you tried...not being embarassed? Stop caring about what other people think? (/Probably aren't thinking at all.)
God, that "dark humor" family sucks. Imagine if you punched someone in the face and then got mad at them for being "Too sensetive" when they said it hurt. The person who does the hurtful thing is in the wrong, obviously.
On the socks one, he LITERALLY tells her the reason it was messed up that he threw away her socks. He says it'll take a lot of time/effort/money to find the socks again, and that's why he shouldn't have thrown them away, because it took her a lot of time and money to collect them.
I hope she threw him away
@@lauren7376 legit, same
@@lauren7376 Only after she gets her socks back!
exactly! hes absolutley in the wrong and that made me so mad. he needs to replaced them, IN FACT he sould get the most expensive ones !! what an ass
If I was her I would actually go to his parents and let them know what he did. His parents saw nothing wrong with the socks, so I would let them know that he threw all of my socks out because I wore them around his family and try to get his parents to side with me. Also how boring of a person do you have to be to hate cute or funny socks...like really?!
it is so insanely normal to only wash your hair 1-3 times a week. it’s bad for your hair to wash everyday and it definitely doesn’t make you a dirty person lol that person is 1000% a male Karen
Edit: For the record, there is nothing wrong with washing your hair everyday if that’s what you prefer. Some people have enough natural oils that washing every day doesn’t have a negative affect. Either way tho it’s no one else’s business
Yup. Curly hair does not like being washed that often. I had to learn the ways and my hair stopped being a frizzy mess and my curls actually looked nice.
Also not washing your hair doesn’t mean you don’t shower. the OP never mentioned tina smelled at all, just that they knew she didn’t wash her hair. you can not wash your hair often and be completely hygienic. also if tina isn’t rubbing her hair on everything i don’t feel like she’s spreading any virus particles left in her hair like ???
I shower almost everyday ifi go somewehere but wash my hair once a week. I have thiccc haird that takes almost 5 hours to dry completely and I cant move much because it will get frizzy
Right. Different types of hair need to be washed more or less frequently. Unless someone is hurting your ability to work, mind your business.
Exactly. I shower every day but wash my hair once or twice a week. I wear a shower cap every time I shower if I'm not washing my hair. Simple!
“Dark humor” doesn’t include making fun of someone’s appearance. 🙄🙄🙄. Dark humor should not be an excuse for being a jerk. This guys family sucks. She sounds like she’s sensitive about her facial scar- that would be really hard in our society, people can be so cruel
totally agree, i think too many people use the “its just a joke” excuse to try to reason out being rude or offensive. and jokes, dark or not are meant to be funny...
Especially because she's not part of the family, so she's already the outsider in that sense.
Exactly my thoughts
Ikr it made me so sad hearing him say that he told her it was just a joke. Like- that’s called invalidating her feelings bro.
real dark humor is making fun of something you've been through, or yourself. not joking at other people's expense or using it as an excuse to be rude.
As someone who has OCD, I thought it was weird that he said he was trying to teach her a lesson. When I can’t do something, even if I promised to because of my OCD, I tend to just explain what happened. I would never try to make someone deal with my obsessions.
That's the fine line of dealing with mental conditions I think. Sometimes we feel helpless and like such a burden to everyone, and other times we swing to the opposite side and blame our behavior on others or on our condition. It's certainly not a justification, but I know I've swung back and forth my whole life, and really only just started discovering the midpoint of "being responsible for it without being at fault."
definitely but also sometimes ig if i has a thought that if they were late something bad would happen i would get really worried? but also i think they should’ve explained that to their friend and use proper communication i hav pretty bad OCD but idk what their situation is
I'm wondering if the person was actually diagnosed with OCD, or if the coworker just assumes that's what's going on for him. I am not a therapist by a long shot, but I remember a doctor explaining to me the difference between OCD and OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder) - the person with OCD typically doesn't like the compulsive behavior they are doing, it's often upsetting to them, but it's more upsetting to not do it. The person with OCPD thinks they are right for doing the compulsive behavior, that this is the right way to do this, or the only way to do this. Based on only that description, he sounds more like the second one to me.
Same. The disorder makes our lives difficult because it's abnormal behavior that we need to work on. We shouldn't inflict that stress on someone who is living a non OCD life
@@ILuvAyeAye thank you so much for this comment ❤️ I wish more people understood at this level.
Hair washing story: person is definitely an asshole I only wash my hair once a week because it's healthier for my hair, it doesn't make you dirty. I still shower everyday but I just don't wash my hair.
The thing is that the virus stays on one's hair for a longer period of time , and if I hear someone say they don't wash their hair that often it whould worry me, and I know the difficulty of long hair having 30+ inches of hair my self, I sanitize my hair regularly
Afro textured hair get's dry and brittle and can break if we wash our hair too often, so those of us with afro textured hair usually wash our hair once a week.
@@_niyabella Yes exactly!!
Yeah you don't have to wash your hair when you shower!!
I have really fine hair so it gets really horrible if I don’t wash it at least every second day 😞
Pertaining to the hair washing story: There is also a question here as to what type of hair the woman has. Many women with coarse/curly/dense hair don't wash their hair on a daily basis because it would literally destroy the hair's texture. Also many protective styles that black women wear are intended to be worn for a long period of time without washing.
Yes. The use of the word "Karen" makes me think maybe we have a white person judging a person of color for not having washed their hair as often. Many Black people who protectively style their hair only wash their hair every 1-2 weeks. I even know some who push it to a month.
sounds racist to me!!
@@andreakubiak4778 I feel like of it was a whyte women commenting about a BIPOC woman's hair she needs written up or made to take a cultural humility course. Thats very micro aggressive. Edit: im also a whyte woman.
I agree Isabela. Full disclosure, I am a white woman with black children, so I spend a ton of time listening and learning about natural hair care and have learned from some awesome Black women both online and in real life.
As a white woman I only wash my hair when it gets greasy or dirty which is about 1-2 times a week so it's not just a POC problem. I used to wash my hair everyday and it would get extremely greasy really fast and was overall dry and when I started washing it less regularly it got way healthier
“A phlebotomist is someone who removes veins.” Oh, Cristine and Ben. I just love you guys. PS they draw blood for lap specimens, but leave the veins 😘
I went to the comments to looks for this, I was face palming even though I love them haha.
"Lap" specimens????
@@ishabiswas8224 typo 🤪 indeed, supposed to be “lab” specimens
😂
My veins are so terrible to find, sometimes it feels like they've removed my veins 😂
On the girlfriend accounting story: I am an accountant and purposefully did not work for the Big 4. Working for a private company means you will make less, but honestly is probably better for your mental health. Working with our external auditors you can see how stressed they are all the time. The Big 4 is not a job, it’s more of a lifestyle. The girl probably knew that this lifestyle was not for her.
Also "he" is a 30 year old woman and the girlfriend is 27!
@@stinalonnmyr2638 Yeah, I am 26 and live with my parents (saving for a house), I think the girlfriend is doing just fine for herself
Saw this! I'm currently a woman working in the US at a Big 4 accounting firm and it's (people) like this that I can't stand. People don't understand why I work all the time and am stressed all year round. Good on her for knowing what she wants to do with her life. Clearly they need to talk about priorities but she has a normal job and a normal life. (They're) the one chasing these insane hours. Hard pass.
Edit for assuming gender of OP was a guy
As someone who works for a big 4, I agree, its the most unhealthy job I’ve had so far. Big 4 accounting firms are the worst you are overworked, underpaid and undervalued. Industry seems like the smarter choice from where I stand.
@@weirdnesprevails again, there is no “he” in this situation, both partners in the relationship are women
As someone with a scar on my hand, I feel sorry for the girl in the “family pranksters” story. Scars are not always something to “joke” about because you don’t know how that person got the scar.
i had a spinal fusion and two hip bone graphs when i was 12, i went to my best friends birthday party at a water park a couple years later and two of her ex friends i had caught laughing and pointing at my back.
makes no sense to laugh at someone’s scars, bc you don’t know how they got it, and how it affects how they feel about themselves
I'm leaving so many comments, but the thing about the amulet, in the comments he stated that she couldn't wear the amulet to work because it's really big and bulky and she wanted something more casual that she could wear every day. she did appreciate the amulet, but she wanted a ring so she could have a symbol for their engagement that she could wear on a day to day basis.
The socks one really made me mad. If my partner threw out all my beautiful fun socks I would dump them immediately. In fact, I would not date someone who didn't like fun socks.
And even if the socks were embarrassing to him - wtf dude! I'm super embarrassed by my fiances "protective outdoor glasses" that he wears in public EVERYTIME it snows. They're bright orange, have an elastic strap going around his head and look... Ridiculous to say the least. But he enjoys them, so who am I to kill his spirit? He's an embarrassing dumbass with ridiculous outdoor glasses, but he's my fiance too.
So, to the sock dude, you're an asshole. Grow up.
i made it a point to pick out my cutest socks or show off my socks whenever i had the chance. fun sock haters can stay away from me!!
I just don't understand why stupid little things like this matter so much to some people. I mean they're fucking socks. It's not like she wants a tattoo of a sock on her face or something serious. Who gives a shit about socks? Get rid of that guy, he's toxic
Right who cares what your fucking socks look like. I have never once in my life thought "those socks are inappropriate"
me neither lol
Another point for the girl with scar that was on the "ugly" sweater. They're also making fun of her scar. We dont know how that happened, she was obviously in some sort of accident (whether it was a small or large accident). But something like a scar shouldn't be made fun of like that. Its obviously something she is self conscious about and if it makes her uncomfortable then her partner should have supported her and told his family that they should do anymore.
I have a scar from a surgery I had as a kid and I hate it because there is a lot of traume behind it so I get it
@@stardoll1995 Exactly, and if someone did this to you an continually made fun of your scar before doing so then, you'd be upset to right? It make total sense. That family is just insensitive, in my opinion.
@@imogeng6701 Yeah, normally people understand something is off limits. Once she said something to him, it should have been over.
Especially when she’s indicated she’s self conscious about it and isn’t welcoming or receptive of the joking. He for sure should’ve told his family to knock it off and she didn’t like it. Respect her and her wishes.
The amulet guy was kind of a jerk in this situation. His fiancé appreciated the gesture and gently approached him for a ring and he really shot her down. But ALSO as someone who’s played Skyrim this doesn’t even make sense. The amulet is what you put on to advertise you’re single and looking for marriage so it doesn’t even make sense as an engagement ring replacement.
Ouch. That's good to know. That's kind of the opposite of a proposal 😅
Yall also get rings at the ceremony in game.
Nooo 🤣🤣🤣🤣 he dared omg
If I would get an amulet of Mara I would be so happy because I already have a Skyrim glass dagger replica so I'm into collecting geek stuff. But I think the amulet should have been like him pulling it out and when she was like "wait is that an amulet of Mara why do you have that?" and theeeeen he would fish out the ring. Boom perfect proposal!
an amulet from what ive seen is like 50-250 bucks too(theres 15 dollar ones but im hoping he didnt propose with one of those) so its not like hes thrown out thousands on this super expensive necklace theres no reason for him to be so angry at her for wanting a traditional engagement ring when he was the person to propose in an unconventional way without prior notice
As someone who has ocd, I can understand why the person with ocd did what they did. However, mental illness is never a justification for unreasonable behaviour, just an explanation. If the person is still in recovery (which it sounds like they are) and they are compulsive around time, they shouldn't have offered the ride, or they should have explained to the other person why it was important to them and they could have worked out a system that benefitted both of them (eg, using the rides as a form of erp and getting a ride to work). Obvi just my opinion and I don't know the full situation though.
I agree little bit different situation but I have SEVERE ADHD My ADHD will never excuse my impulsivity or my tardiness or my not having work turned in etc. but it does tell people what is going on-it’s an explanation that’s it that’s all
Am I the only one thinking the solution was just to be a few minutes early. The one needing the ride obviously knew the person was ocd about time. The driver is doing you a favor, get up a few minutes early.
I would still think the person who has severe OCD was a tiny bit considerate to have offered to give a ride, bcz it ain't easy... But I don't think the person who wrote the post knew about that person really well enough to have asked for a ride.
@@heatherreigh
that’s what i was thinking, like if you know you need to leave at 7:36 on the dot, why not tell the other person to be ready by 7:35?
i don’t have ocd, but i often use something of the sort when going places with friends that i know will always be running late (i.e. tell them to be there by 11:45 if they don’t need to be there until 12;00)
I agree, unless you it's a physically affecting disorder, like tourette's, then it's not fair to blame the disorder. As someone with depression, I cant always blame the fact that I dont like doing school work on my depression.
Ben's petname should be humus papa lol
humus hubby. or humhub?
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHH HUMMUS PAPA
Banana daddy oof
@@thesleepmonster banana benny
@@pvic6959 underrated comment-amazing
“AITA for telling my girlfriend she doesn’t have a real job” I wonder how Ben and Simply’s reaction would change (or maybe it wouldn’t) knowing that the poster is a woman talking about her girlfriend.
Pretty sure it wouldn't change anything, really. XD
@@ReiyukaE probably not, but I can’t help but be curious lol
Doesn't really change anything, still an asshole move to do that.
@@amywonderland9297 I 100% agree. I don’t think their opinion would change but maybe the reaction would since they mentioned “ugh men 🙄” ya know? Lol
I thought this too! I think it would have been interesting to see their take on it when the gendered power imbalance is removed. I think it would be similar but it would have been nice
Me just casually finding out SimplyDadlogical has an identical twin.. was he in videos and I had no idea? IS EVERYTHING I KNOW A LIE??
There's a SimplyUncleLogical
YES SAME!! I was like WHAT??? He's an identical twin???
They said it before, Cristine even took a picture of them on her grandma’s birthday. I think it was on snapchat?
Phlebotomist is someone who draws blood. They don’t remove veins lol
That got me too 😂😂😂
I wonder, is it more of an American thing, which is why they were unfamiliar? In the States, sometimes we have specifically go to the lab just to get our blood drawn (or pee in a cup) whereas in Canada, you would just a have nurse or medical assistant do it in the MD office when they order it?
@@drsamthefrog We have specific clinics to go to as well, they are often within a doctor's clinic building. However, I have never heard the people drawing blood introduce themselves as a phlebotomist.
@@kayleebusniuk I’m a phlebotomist and I never introduce myself that way as many patients are made more uncomfortable by long medical words. I always explain what I am doing (for example, “Hi, the doctor has ordered some blood work. Is it okay for me to draw some blood?”).
Also, some doctor’s offices don’t specifically have phlebotomists, but have their nurses fill that role.
@@bradi.fayth.nails1 That makes sense!
If your boyfriend tries to dictate what you wear, get rid of him.
THIS!
Account GF story, they are a lesbian couple. OP says she is (30F), she is female too. But all other points are still valid.
Just watching this and noticed that too. I think that they are a same sex couple could bring different points up as being important and make their wage gap seem more excessive.
Yeah too bad they didn't notice that 😅 they even double checked the age at the end xD
I went and checked the post (bc I’m nosy) and according to OP her girlfriend left her 🙃 she deserved it lmao
@@TheForestFamily lmaoo as she should
@@TheForestFamily good, im so happy for her ex
I think the focus on whether the woman in the ring story should have “expected” a ring or not isn’t really the point. It sounds like (even though she did look sad about it) she was gracious about the amulet but explained in a reasonable way that she actually did want a ring, and wanted to pick one out together. This wasn’t an issue because the fiancé didn’t accurately predict what she wanted in the first place; it’s only an issue now because the fiancé got upset about her wanting a ring and basically said no because their feelings were hurt by the perceived rejection.
Absolutely! I felt like they were focusing in on a part that isn't super relevant. Yes, both people in the relationship could have communicated better about their proposal expectations beforehand to avoid disappointment, but now that it's happened, I thought it was really callous of the proposer to just ignore their girlfriend's respectfully stated wishes
The part that gets me about this: if it were a gift for *any* other reason most people would say she is unreasonable for insisting on a ring... I don't like reinforcing this idea that an engagement ring is expected (or even a gift at all) and that it is ok to complain/want something else just because it's for engagement.
@@bradcoles4615 Well, it isn't really a gift. You're expected to wear your engagement/wedding ring all the time, I assume the same would count for the amulet. I also looked it up and I personally find it really really ugly. I understand if she would feel the same. Additionally, people often don't believe women who say they're married without a ring to prove it which can make going to bars etc. stressful. This is totally different than just a gift.
@@bettievw well then that just goes to show how people can have different perspectives on subjective topics such as this and not be wrong. I definitely have a different view as a gay man. Personally I don't want any engagement ring or anything nor do I plan to get anything for my partner. I think it is wrong to say it's not a gift (it is a gift) and I also think its wrong to expect or require something. You should be happy to be engaged to the person with or without "proof".
So in the end I think its selfish to *demand* something from your partner as a requirement for engagement and instead should be more of them giving something to show appreciation of you (which his amulet did because the game was important to their relationship).
@@bradcoles4615 It is and isn't a gift. It's more like a physical indicator of a contract. Oftentimes if there's a proposal and the engagement breaks off, legally the person who bought it is entitled to its return (at least in North America) - that doesn't happen with any other kind of gift.
So it's in a different kind of category than just a basic gift.
If we're looking at it as a physical indicator of a mutually beneficial contract (romantic, I know) then it follows that both parties should be happy with that item, but especially the one who is expected to wear it.
And it's not wrong to express to your partner that you have things that are important to you as part of a proposal/wedding/marriage. Just because something is material doesn't mean that the symbolic meaning of it is irrelevant and wanting it is selfish. This is especially true when we're talking about women who often have their standards and desires within the context of relationships deemed frivolous, selfish, and unnecessary.
re socks story: this is the MOST absurd thing I've read in my life I cant deal with this knowledge of someone out there not liking fun socks
I mean like how boring do you have to be to hate cute and fun socks
I have met people like that. They care too much about what others think and then project their own insecurities. They lead very stressful lives.
I’m so sick of people excusing horrible behavior with “dark humor.”
And I’m sick of snowflakes that can’t take a joke and don’t understand that people have different sense of humour.
@@Smurfcheee I'm sick of people who show their lack of an adequate vocabulary by overusing "snowflake" as if that's the only snide or pejorative term the English language came up with.
@@Smurfcheee i think dark humor is okay as long nobody gets hurt or offended, because they have another sense of humor
@@Smurfcheee Dark humor is okay only when there is trust between the two parties that the joke is in fact a joke and not an actual insult or attempt to hurt the other.
@@ishabiswas8224 sick burn 👌🏼
Calling your identical twin "the ugly one" is absolutely hilarious and I'm not surprised that's something Cristine's dad said 🤣🤣
Oh man, I ended up wandering over to that subreddit just to find some of these threads. The GF who was mocked, her bf was deemed the asshole, and the responses were *chef's kiss* fantastic.
good i hope they ripped hiiim a new one!!!
People often use OCD incorrectly and tend to apply to people are very particular and not to those who genuinely have an obsessive compulsive disorder. This people said they left to "teach him a lesson" not "I had to leave because it was past the time". This is a case of "my time is more important than yours" not "I must follow this pattern because my brain insists I do it"
Yeah. For a person with actual OCD, he has to leave because he feels something bad will happen if he left even a few second late, it's more like that a person with OCd will suffer a very huge anxiety or panic attack if they do not complete their compulsion.
The person probably doesn't have ocd but anxiety could definitely be an issue. Speaking as a person with generalised anxiety disorder, I start getting palpitations and stress even if I reach work a minute or two late. I would definitely be very annoyed if I get late because of someone else. I probably wouldn't leave them behind though.
I would agree with all of those scenarios if his answer had been "I had to leave" and not "I did it to teach you a lesson".
@@jessicalkarpf we are hearing only the poster's pov. Maybe he is someone who is regularly late and doesn't respect his friend's need to be punctual. In that case, that line is definitely justified.
The guy with OCD shouldn’t be told what to say because he had to leave before anxiety is too much maybe he said I had to leave because he was embarrassed saying that his OCD played a role but he did came back for his friend anyway which is even better coming back for the friend many minutes later and care for the friend and overcome the anxiety
Holo everyone! As a nurse just wanted to share some info, a phlebotomist draws peoples blood! Love your podcast!
Another nurse here! I just laughed out loud in my car to the idea of someone removing veins. Glad someone provided the clarification already 😂❤️
I, too, laughed out loud. But loved it ♥️🤪😂
I’m so livid at the family who bullied that dudes gf. How is that even a little bit okay?! Like she obviously wasn’t okay with any of the jokes beforehand, so why would they think it would be okay to get these weird sweaters?! Ugh. I hope they learn to be kinder.
I think the kicker is the MOM MADE THEM like what a bitch yo
I pray for the hair of that person that thinks you’re supposed to wash your hair everyday.
If he only knew how many people do NOT wash their hair every day... 😏
naw let them mess up their hair
I wash my hair every 10 days to two weeks. And I do work out 5 days a week. It's not greasy, it doesn't smell, it's not dirty and it's the healthiest, thickest and strongest it has ever been. I used to wash my hair every other day at one point and my hair was crap compared to now. I also save soooooooo much money (I have waist-long hair). I used up 3 shampoo bottles per month at one point. Now a bottle lasts me 2 months.
@@howlwhat4498 I looked at your YT page, u ok? Also, did you domesticate that squirrel and is your sister ok?
@@goofy_gooberism Right! I checked her channel bcz u commented about it...
It makes me wonder if the Karen who complained to HR about the hair was complaining about a girl with curly hair. You are not supposed to wash your hair every day with curly hair and most people with curly hair are POC. Many POC with curly hair get remarks that their hair is dirty or unclean when in reality it is perfectly clean and fine. Curly hair take a lot of maintenance and products and needs the natural oils from your scalp to hydrate your curls.
It could have been but I don’t think so. It’s easier for straight hair to smell bad because the scalp is more exposed. On top of that, the person who complained said the hair smelled bad and for it to create a smell so bad that people nearby can smell, it must have been really dirty. I doubt, regardless of hair type, their hair was clean. What I think is that the person may have been a smoker or a stoner which makes more sense when they made the “mind your business” comments as maybe they didn’t want people to know they used drugs for recreational purposes.
@@ItsXochitlBaby where does it say her hair smells bad? She wasn't even aware the coworker wasn't washing her hair until she overheard her talking about it. We also dont have confirmation that the coworker wasn't washing her hair on workdays, because she started doing it when they started working from home more
OP was being nosy and ridiculous
When Cristine said she had boxes of weird things everywhere, all I could think about was her peely bag lol
A note on greasy hair person: had she not mentioned not washing her hair in conversation, I wonder if the complainer would’ve known?
Maybe, but for people with very curly or thick hair, it's a pretty normal conversation topic. She probably wouldn't have mentioned it to the poster, but since the poster was eavesdropping, they can't expect everyone to edit their lives based on what they might overhear🤷🏽
I highly doubt it 😂
In response to the “dark humor” story I would like to give my two cents. I am a person who scars easily, (I have scars from acne which I am extremely insecure about), so I’ve had my fair share of bullying because of scars that I can’t control having. The idea that this poor girl was basically told that she was being a baby for being upset about her partner’s family making her the butt of an extremely insensitive joke is infuriating! She didn’t ask to have a scar on her face and she had already expressed that it made her uncomfortable when they made jokes about it in the past. Her partner trying to excuse his family’s behavior is disgusting to me, he could’ve told his family to quit but he didn’t. I would’ve probably cried and left just like she did! She had every right to leave and has every right to be upset about her partner telling her that she was overreacting and his family essentially telling her that she is ugly for her scar. “Joke” or not it’s disgusting and I hope that girl finds someone who knows what boundaries are and respects her.
I once cried because my brother asked me how I got my skin to look so nice in a photo (I suffered from acne in my teens and still struggle with it) I can't even image how shitty it would feel to have my BF's family make fun of my face, something I cannot change.
“I’m in a judgmental mood right now” same Ben same
For the ugly sweater one, any excuse the boyfriend had went out the window when his girlfriend sincerely expressed how uncomfortable that kind of "joke" made her. Your partner can say you are a god amongst men, but that doesn't mean it's easy to believe, especially when all their actions say otherwise. I can't imagine how much it hurt her to have something she was admittedly insecure about constantly made the butt of the joke.
I hope she's out of that relationship. I wanted to scream when the bf said "I'm sorry you got offended"
if your partner keeps saying "I don't like when your family does that" and you never even bother bringing it up to you family, you are the ahole.
I cried a lil, Seems like they are putting that girl down because even with a scar she is more beautiful inside and out than them.
@@ashleyferris5749 Exactly. She must have expressed discomfort at the comments the family was making in some way before mentioning this to her boyfriend, either with her facial features, her body language, or her very own words. (Even silence or her obvious avoidance are pretty big hints) Which means they ignored all those signs purposefully because they like getting a negative reaction out of her. Whether they think she needs to get knocked down a peg because they are jealous of her in some capacity or are just sadistic pieces of garbage, who knows. This is an abusive way of thinking either way, and to call her a baby afterwards... No remorse given, no forgiveness deserved. She should dump his shit in the yard where it belongs.
“Men... get rid of em! No, that’s not what I mean”
Ben: “It’s kinda what I mean”
hahahhaha
I don't think they read that post carefully enough. It's a lesbian couple because it mentions at the beginning that they're both female
@@mossthebryophyter i was looking for this comment
we love Ben
*Lesbian couple post*
Ben and Cristine: MEN SUCK
Me: Still true
Me screaming at the screen: They're both women!!! 😂😂😂
I thought the same
I really wish they had noticed it was a lesbian couple. I wanted to know their thoughts on this issue as it existed and not as a hetero couple with the gendered power imbalance y’know?!
I honestly think, and this is a common opinion, that attacking men like this so often even if they are the asshole, seems very unreasonable...and this is coming from a person who's a die hard "women empowerment" stan! I wonder if Cristine and Ben would have reacted differently if they hadn't miss them being a lesbian couple.
Me
I think that she handled it really well. She sat down with him and had an adult conversation that she really liked the amulet but she still wanted to get a traditional ring. Even if it had never been mentioned before, she brought it up in a completely reasonable way and made it clear that she appreciated the gesture.
what really annoys me about the whole pee standing up thing is that it's ok if it splashes, BUT HOW CAN YOU JUST LEAVE THE PISS THERE FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO CLEAAAAN WTF CLEAN IT UP
Well from his trap we already know that she's seeing things that aren't actually there. We don't know that he is actually splashing onto the floor.
Because if someone with a vagina lives in the house, they're obligated to do so 🤷🏽♀️😂
re: the hair stuff it's pretty eurocentric too to blanket-complain someone should wash their hair super often. POC have different hair needs.
True! And that goes for thicker or curlier hair in general too, even if its a Caucasian person. The idea that you have to wash your hair so often is so outdated!
Even as a Caucasian person you are supposed to wash your hair every other day not every day because it will damage your hair
I'm white with fine and straight hair and even I only wash my hair maybe twice a week 🤷♀️
We wash hands because hands touch everything and are gross. My head isn't touching ANYTHING at work so
Exactly, I wash mine with shampoo every other week. If I do it anymore than that my hair will literally start to fall out 😂. A lot of white people (not all) assume that by not washing your hair, you don’t do anything to it. I personally co-wash my hair every 2 days. It doesn’t get dirty, it’s not greasy, it’s doesn’t smell, it’s just what works for my hair.
I feel like as long as people don't go around being smelly making people uncomfortable you can shower and wash your hair as often or not as as often as you like. Like we know our own bodies best. For me I shower every 2 days and wash my hair every 3-4 days. I have never been the type of person that would shower every day cuz that would just be a waste of time for me since I don't even sweat that much so like why should I? Serves no purpose and it will just make my skin and hair dry af so it's not for me. People that say you are gross if you don't shower every day I'm so baffled by that. Are people really that sweaty? Then they are the gross ones so they can't say nothing. XD
For the one about the person who proposed to their girlfriend with an amulet of Mara, I don't think either people are assholes, but I think the proposer is being more unreasonable. Although it makes sense for the proposer to have proposed with the amulet since it comes from a video game they bonded over and since the girlfriend didn't mention wanting a ring before the proposal (as far as we know), after the proposal when the girlfriend said she wanted a ring too, why wasn't the proposer okay with getting her one? It's not like the girlfriend was being rude about the situation -- she said she appreciated the sweet gesture, but wanted a traditional ring. While I can understand the proposer feeling hurt or disappointed that the amulet wasn't as well-received as they thought it would be, I don't understand why they wouldn't just get their girlfriend a ring once they knew that's what she wanted.
Well said! I was thinking the same thing!
I was thinking it might be a cost problem. Game jewelry in nicer material, even stainless steel can be quite expensive. It may be that he has spent his budget on the necklace and is now upset because there's no budget for a ring as well.
@@ArgentAtelier That could be true. In that case, though, the proposer (I don't think we know their gender) could have brought up the price issue, and the two of them could have come to some agreement, like maybe they go pick out a meaningful ring together but the girlfriend pays for half or all of it. From the sound of the post, it seemed like the proposer just would not consider getting a ring, full stop -- it seemed like the proposer's pride was the issue, not their bank account. However, we don't know for certain
A little thing called money might play a role
@@mirandak7242 well I mean in their position idk if I'd still want to marry someone if they were that unappreciated and insistent on a ring, its a bit selfish.
I looked up the amulet of mara and its a fairly showey necklace. even if she did or didnt want a ring specifically, it’s understandable that she’d want something more subtle that she could actually wear everyday
i looked it up too and it looks like there are amulet of mara rings that weren't showy and he could've chosen those
A phlebotomist takes blood lmao when they said removes veins I scream laughed because the image in my head was terrifying lol
Me, a black girl listening to the part about showering without washing my hair: 👁👄👁
Oh...I was sitting there fuming! I wish someone would.
Lol Yep! Same.
Girl me too.
A close friend of mine has type 4B hair, and she has explained some of her hair washing routine to me... and yeah, I definitely understand why she and other people with similar hair wash it less often. Also she even has to ADD some sort of oil to it in winter, as living in Scandinavia her hair isn't adapted to this climate and needs extra protection in the cold months. So her hair is "oily" but it's meant to be!
right! i’ve had braids in for the past month or so and haven’t washed my hair since. i wish someone would try and complain to HR about me lmao
I have dry hair. I couldn’t even imagine washing my hair daily. Its not bad hygiene, its a lot worse for certain type of hair to be washed daily. Also how is hair washing related to covid lmao. That person is definitely a karen!
Thisss like they completely glossed over the fact that the poster though that somehow not washing your hair would result in a bigger chance of transmission of covid like???? What?
i havent used shampoo or conditioner in over 4 years now and my hair is less greasy than my dad or my best friend, both of whom wash their hair daily or every other day. and like you said hair DOES NOT GIVE SOMEONE COVID
@@kaleigh1221 genuine question, not tryna be mean, but what do you use if you don't use shampoo or conditioner?
I wonder if that woman knows that shower caps exist.
@@kaileyy2991 I think only water, no soap or anything, because soaps strip your oils. I heard your hair adapts to it and your scalp produces less oils. Or maybe a shampoo without soap, without sulfates, but idk what it does do instead.
Regaining the sock story, that makes me feel so sad. That is a huge sign. If I were her, I'm be afraid of things just escalating from there and that I wouldn't notice because things are just slowly getting worse.
I think ring lady didn't know she wanted a ring until it happened. She voiced her desire respectfully. If money is the issue they could have worked that out.
Yeah and despite the usual marketing / social pressure to spend like, several months salary at least, there’s actually no reason for a ring to be particularly bank-breaking. You can get beautiful lab created diamonds or moissanite rings for a couple hundred or less.
@I I especially when you can get super beautiful cheap rings too!
Unless he found some crazy custom job, I found these amulets on etsy for $30...............while a good concept, it's not like he's set back months and months........
"it wasn't even a big mountain" Man, I love home office. It would be such a hassle to explain to my coworkers why I just burst out straight up crying with laughter
"my girl found my box in the attic" here we go again
That "ugly sweater" story actually made me livid as Ben was reading it... I just... Wow. What assholes. I would get rid of him and his horrible family.
I’ve never disagreed with Cris more than the relic/ring situation. The girl was nice about the situation she didn’t demand a ring she just wanted one, and that’s so understandable.. the boyfriend shouldn’t be so stubborn and actually listen to what would make her happy.
Agreed!!!
in a update he said that he, got her a ring, he was unreasonbel and if i rember it right they are married now and she wore the amulet at the wedding ore she will wear it at the wedding
@@EnbySloth I’m glad to hear that they sorted it out!
Same lol
I'm a guy and usually pee sitting down because I'm pretty bad at aiming and don't want to clean up any splashage... So it's super annoying that I have two roommates that pee standing up and who don't clean up their splashage, and they don't care that they leave behind PEE SMELL. I hate being the only person who seems to care that the washroom smells like pee!
I'm so glad my boyfriend pees sitting down, so I luckily never had to worry about that. But I feel for you! Some men are really gross 😅
I think it's quite normal for men to pee sitting down for sanitary reasons.
Mine does too! And so do my family members - grew up with very clean parents 😝
May I thank you for your manners and consideration. 👏
as someone with curly hair it’s so funny to hear people discuss cowashing (only conditioner no shampoo) and not washing your hair often is weird. they both really help your hair and really the only people that should wash their hair every day or even every other day are people with extremely oily hair that cant handle it or those who are v active
My boyfriend and i met at Gamestop, and a huge part of our early relationship was a videogame. I would not like a minecraft necklace for a proposal😂
Yeah, communication and honesty are vital to discussing marriage and relationships. I love "Lord of the Rings," but I would be disappointed if my partner proposed to me with a licensed replica of Galadriel's silver ring. Some couples are happily married without any rings, and some couples have been together for decades without marrying. It's all about listening to your partner's feelings and requests.
Honestly I feel bad for both sides on that one. Personally as a video game person who gets wayyy too excited about small details in games and movies I think the Amulet of Mara was very clever and sweet way to ask if she wanted to get married, seeing as the item indicates you're available for marriage, and so her accepting the necklace would mean she is saying yes and does want to get married. I think he missed the mark a bit by not asking directly or through one of her friends if she wanted a traditional ring or some other symbolic item as her actual wedding band. I think it's very sweet as a tool/prop for the proposal but he should have communicated more to know what his partner wants. I understand he would be upset that they weren't on the same page when he did so much planning, but it sounds like she approached him about it in a very mature way to express how she felt.
@@ktea7297 yeah, i totally think the idea was super cute, and people should do what makes them happy. Just bummed their communication didnt line up with that.
this is so besides the point but if I may, I have a question. i hear stories like this all the time of people meeting in random places in the wild. How do people go from total strangers to romantic partners?? I would _never_ want to hit on a girl in a store because its probably the last thing she wants. If you're comfortable sharing, how did you and your bf go from strangers in a shop to partners?
@@pvic6959 yeah, no problem. So I am not someone that typically takes peoples number at work or give mine out, I'm very professional NORMALLY. Okay but this one day, I was at work with one other coworker and it was dead slow. I'm talking one customer for 3 hours. We finished all our tasks and we were just making stupid bets out of boredom. So the bet was that I could get any persons number that might come in for the rest of the shift, without asking for it. Save me the criticism I was 18 and it was just dumb. Haha. So of course, no one came in. Until 30 minutes to closing. And this guy walks in, and instantly i had butterflies, which wasn't normal for me. I'm not a shy girl, so it was weird, but he was so handsome. So I asked if i could help him find anything, he said he already knew what he needed so he proceeded to the counter where my male coworker was waiting. Gets the video game he came for, and my coworker asks him if he wanted to open an account with the company so he would get points for buying and discounts and whatever. So he gives my coworker his info for the account, and after he said his phone number the words "what was that again" just sort of fell out of my mouth. I felt like a fool😂. But i had to play it off of course, so I cleverly followed that up with "just kidding, hahaha" and we all 3 laughed. Ugh, cringe. And then the guy leaves. And i had this sick gut feeling that i fucked up by not getting his number for real. I even expressed it to my coworker, and he "offered" to get the guys phone number from the system😂. Of course i said no, i dont want to be a creep. And just accepted that i didnt get the guys number. So 15 minutes passes, and the guy comes back in. I'm watching him from behind the counter and he is looking all over the carpet frantically, like he dropped something. But i had just vacuumed so i knew there wasnt anything on that floor but he says "I lost something, it's really important, it isnt for me, i have to find it". He gets up to the counter, and pulls something out of his pocket and smacks it on the counter, saying "found it, it was for you", and he walked away before i even realized what it was. It was a little scrap of paper with his first name and phone number. So I called him the next day and the rest is history, 7 years later.
When someone tells you you've hurt them, you don't get to insist you didn't. It's not hard to just refrain.
I was just waiting for when they realize that the "real job" couple was 30F and 27F, so no guy involved :)
oh my god!
BEYN MY HAIR LITERALLY TAKES OVER AN HOUR AND A HALF TO BLOW DRY. AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT
Mine too!
Oh wow, I have quite long hair but it does only take 10 to 15 minutes to blow dry, which already feels to long for me, so I mostly stop after some minutes because I'm lazy. Can't image how it is to have hair that takes so long to dry, because even letting it dry in the air must takes hours.
Main reason to cut my hair at some point was always that it takes to long to dry
@@lw1717 Yep, if I use a blow-dryer on my hair it'll probably take an hour or two, but when I air dry it (which I actually prefer)... often it's still a tiny bit damp even 24 hours later😅 If I washed it every day I'd just have wet hair forever lol
@@kkuudandere crazy haha
The proposal one, I feel like the woman didn’t necessarily specify she wanted a ring bc she assumed like most people when the time came the poster would propose with a ring and didn’t dream that they would propose with an amulet. I don’t feel it’s unreasonable to ask for one and the fact he is upset isn’t fair to her either. She didn’t ask for a necklace. I feel like if someone is proposing with a non-traditional thing they should point blank ask their partner.
Furthermore a ring is symbolic of "forever". Video game servers and the games people play on them inevitably shut down. Who knows how long that necklace is going to "exist". And you know everyone and their mothers are going to hound her about where her ring is.
Exactly! she asked calmly and nicely if they could ALSO get rings. She didn't hate the necklace, she didn't scoff and say no when she saw it. She thought the gesture was sweet but wanted a more traditional item that her family and friends (Even strangers who hit on her or whatever) would understand. Who knows, maybe she herself just didn't feel a strong emotional connection to a video game meme group from perhaps years ago? There is nothing wrong with having two sentimental items. Like if your boyfriend gets you a teddy bear AND a matching t shirt you don't have to sacrifice one to the almighty gods and burn it in a pit do you? Like jesus dude if you love her just listen to the words coming out of her mouth and stop being a child. Just get like matching plain bands? A ring FROM SKYRIM? They have those too! COMPROMISE. She wasn't even angry with him smh, a wedding is supposed to represent both partners in the union, if she's just feeling sad that her partner doesn't care about her feelings or thoughts then what's she supposed to think? Is she supposed to act like an NPC happily ever after?
@@Haylla2008 For a little context, I'm pretty sure he bought her a real life replica of the item from the game. The Amulet of Mara is given as a symbol of being ready/open to marriage. He was literally asking her to marry him with the item you use to propose in the game's lore. So servers have nothing to do with it.
@@zombei_kid After rereading the post, I realize you are correct. But, the truth remains that there are still many reasons why someone might want a ring. It's hard to know who is right or wrong in this situation since we don't know her reasoning nor whether he even bothered to ask her about her reasoning.
@@Haylla2008 It sounds like in an update, they did get rings together and he admitted he let his hurt feelings get the best of him! They're all good now. I can see why both of them feel the way they did and hopefully it helped them see they need clearer communication before marriage.
I’m shocked people wash their hair every day unless it’s quite short.
my hair isshort like a little above my shoulders and i dont wash it everyday its ral think tho and ggets hella frizzy so i assume my hair needs the oils to hydrate it.
@@howlwhat4498 wash it lesssss believe me washing all the time ruined my hair
@@AlexSmith-qw3nl I have a skin condition, I wash my hair every other day, sometimes every three days so my scalp stops itching.
I literally can't wash my hair less...
@@smirglepapier531 every other day is ok anyway- if you’re hair is still frizzy I’d probs try get some hair oil or special conditioner for moisture
@@AlexSmith-qw3nl my hair is straight and long, not frizzy maybe a bit wavy on some days.
I have some oil for my skin condition that I put on when it gets really bad it's just that I have to 100% wash it the next day as it doesn't get absorbed. It just sit on my scabs and soften them a little bit.
In regard to the ring situation, she may want it just so that she has a more traditional way of letting others know that she's taken. If people don't see that ring, they may assume she's not actually taken and not believe her situation. I've seen that happen in real life where my friend was part of a religion that didn't believe in buying rings for marriage. She was incredibly upset, because people wouldn't believe that she was actually married. She begged her husband to buy a ring for her, which he did. The poster wasn't an asshole for the original thought, the issue arises with the refusal to consider getting her the ring as well, especially given that she presented her feelings in a calm, understandable manner and understood and appreciated the meaning.
For sure, my main issue was with him being I did this nice thing why would we need anything else??? I think just listening to her about that was what was needed. I think the original gesture and icon thing was sweet and seemed for perfect for them. It didn't sound like she was ungrateful or rude about not having a real ring just wanted something different. Don't think either are the asshole in that situation
Yeah, I'll say for me personally I wouldn't want to have to spend the entirety of my engagement, and maybe even marriage, explaining to people why I don't have a ring.
The guy wasn't in the wrong for trying to be thoughtful, but I don't think he realizes that when women get engaged the first thing they're asked is what the ring looks like, and she might not want to explain the amulet thing to every single person who asks.
I agree with you, especially because I know the amulet they’re referring too is huge and very impractical.
One of the good things about rings is you can wear it all the time but this necklace has 5 large circles, two that are 1 inch diameter, 2.with a 2 inch diameter and one with a 3 inch diameter (approx)
So it’s not a practical thing to wear all the time
i hope the sock girl gets out of that relationship. your partner should never throw out your possessions without your explicit permission.
@@mcq6120 it's not just socks, it's her partner throwing away her possessions. i'd be just as concerned if a woman did this to her male partner. it's a red flag.
They weren't just regular old socks ... they were socks that had value to their owner.
In the update it said she left because it made her realise the socks weren't the only controlling thing about him.
@@jasperj.d.g.4147 Yay! Thanks for sharing!
I agree, one time my mother sold a 500$ golf caddy because they got in a fight. Ok mom 👍🏽 ehhh, maybe don’t do that.
I appreciate that the Skyrim boyfriend put thought and feeling into the proposal and maybe feels let down he didn't quite read the situation correctly. However I was really not ok that he completely shut her down when she reassured him but expressed her desire for a ring. If you aren't willing to hear your partner out or compromise, you shouldn't be in the relationship (treat others how *they* want to be treated, not how you want to be treated). He didn't sound like a bad guy but it does seem this proposal was centred around what he wanted and what he thought was meaningful, without effort to consider his girlfriend's feelings once it became clear they were not on the same page.
100% agree!
“Secret private box” :
My head: serial killer trophies
That would be my first question! I would ask about the crazy possibilities, murder weapon, portal to another dimension, rare jewels, etc. and probably drop it once I rule out all the extremes.
Yess that was my first assumption i was like serial killer
Exactly! 😂 I instantly remembered Joes box in the “You” series 😁
I understand that he has a right to privacy, but at the same time, your partner should be someone you can tell everything 🤷🏻♀️ I would probably instantly think something really really bad, because anything else we just can discuss 🤷🏻♀️ but I can’t speak for other relationships, that’s just mine ... for me it would be really weird 🤷🏻♀️ if I had something really painful in there, my partner would be the ONLY one I would WANT to talk about it to
Exactly! There is a difference between privacy and a locked secret box full of secrets! She's not worried it's his mom's ashes, she's worried it might be a bunch of undies belonging to dead girls.
Same, I'd be freaking out.
i don’t think she was mad that he didn’t buy her a ring, the poster even mentions that she loved the proposal and then stated she also wanted a traditional ring. If she realized she never made that clear she should apologize but then they can go shopping together. I think he needs to get over himself- she prolly wants the ring so people see it and realize she’s engaged vs ppl thinking she’s just wearing a merch piece.
Rings are expensive. She wants to wedding gifts. I think that's selfish.
@@AnimeSukiUn you get wedding gifts from other people. A simple $500 ring would probably suffice if they’re willing to spend money on a wedding. If you’re gonna participate in a ceremony about owning women you better cater to her every want. next
@@alilwildwithcat167 yeah!! like, even a homemade ring that costs like 50$ to make out of wires and a pearl would be so special
I just saw another comment that explained that the amulet in game signifies being single and looking.... He needs to get her a ring.
@@AnimeSukiUn My ring is $80. It's what I wanted - you don't have to spend hundreds of dollars... Currently she doesn't have anything but an item in an online game, which I find pretty damn weird if both people haven't agreed on it. What if he'll also want a game wedding and take screenshots to hang on their walls for later?
Those special socks typically cost a lot. I'd dump him haha.
It's so ironic that they said "men, just get rid of them" and it was a a female-female relationship they just missed that part 😄
Yes! I was SEARCHING through the comments to see if anyone else noticed and it seemed like no one else did!
I also noticed this and was hoping they would notice it. Still makes the behaviour totally unacceptable no matter the gender tho
@@phoebeoulton5782 oh yes, it's disgusting and it shows that some women can act this way too
The thing about the hair; this is a real, common technique to retrain your hair to stop getting greasy. My mum washes her hair every single day and she washed my hair daily as a child which strips your hair of its natural oils without giving it a chance to recuperate so it would become greasy again by the end of the day. Severe depression stopped me from washing my hair even weekly, but ended up being a blessing in disguise as my hair adapted and I can now go several days without the need to shampoo my hair. The person who complained is definitely the asshole and displaying Karen behaviour, it’s Tina’s business what she does with her hair and OP can just stay away from her, however, it’s not appropriate for HR to reveal who complained to Tina as those complaints are intended to be private and OP likely expected confidentiality. I agree with Cristine that until the term Karen was mentioned, I assumed they were a man because this is a common thing people do if they have long hair. Furthermore, OP does not say Tina smells, just that they heard her say she was doing this, if she isn’t disrupting the workplace by smelling bad, what’s the issue? It’s an office, not retail where you’re greeting customers often.
Edit: Finance guy; definitely just a misogynist asshole. While I realise not everyone experiences ASD the same, as an autistic person myself, I think I have some authority to say he’s just bitch. The not picking up on social cues at drinks just seems like misogynist guy behaviour I’ve experienced from men with a narcissist god complex. His girlfriend needs to dump him so hard, he’s found a person who enjoys their career (a fulfilling aspect of her life) and a passion (her car), these are all good qualities to have in a partner, what an asshole.
With the proposal, I think it’s fine that OP proposed with something else, however, when their girlfriend vocalised she wanted something different, they should be able to work towards achieving that. Necklaces aren’t always appropriate with certain outfits (especially if it’s an amulet, which I’m visualising as something quite bulky?), but engagement and wedding rings are something you can wear all the time and also because of social expectations and practices, a ring signals to others that she’s engaged, a necklace does not and she may want to display to others that she is. I don’t think OP is the asshole for the initial unconventional proposal, but it’s a bit of a dick move to flat out refuse to compromise on a ring with someone you’re trying to sign a contract to spend the rest of your life with.
Edit of edit: I googled Amulet of Mara and it is very large and probably not something you’d want to wear everyday, seems extra unreasonable that OP expects this of their partner, it’s cute, but unrealistic.
I’ve also read another comment mentioning the finance couple is actually 2 women, this almost makes me feel worse about it. I expect this behaviour from some men, but as a woman in a male dominated industry OP should understand and respect her partner’s career more so than a man might. Yuck, disrespectful behaviour.
I stopped showering every day due to depression to. And it is really a thing))) Also, water in my country is not so good and daily showers will do more harm for hair and skin than good.
It doesn't work for everyone unfortunately. My husband has really greasy hair and doesn't wash it very often, especially since quarantine. Infrequent washing is apparently not reducing overall oil levels :l
Meanwhile I dye my hair green so I try to wash my hair as little as I can get away with, and I've found that I can usually do 1 or two washes a week and it's fine. I just don't have an oily head I guess.
I actually use the no-poo method to wash my hair and before when I used shampoo if I skipped washing my hair for 1 day it would be greasy the next day. Now I've gone through the no-poo process it probably takes my hair about 4-5 days before it starts to get greasy at the scalp. Its way more convenient and my hair did feel softer after making this change.
I understand the hair issue, I have curly hair and a lot of research shows that with curly hair, depending on how curly it is, you should be only washing your hair once maybe twice a week, and maybe only shampooing once or twice a month.
@@kierraprice6375 i have wavy hair but what’s the difference between washing and shampooing??
Cristine: "I'm sure I have boxes full of weird things around here"
Cristine's peely bag: *exists* 👀
If you get paid to do tasks, it's a real job. Enough of people's snobbish judgment of this "real job" foolishness.
Just got flashback about one of my past relationships.
He proposed without a ring, I said yes. Later I asked if he’s thinking about getting a ring. He seemed to get that I want a ring but then get me a random bracelet instead. I was so confused and super hesitant to talk about it again. When I finally said something (randomly mentioned, not straight up asking for it) he got mad and said the bracelet was a “step” towards the ring, and because he think I took his gift for granted so now he will have to think about it. I felt guilty that I wanted a ring, questioned myself why I even want one, am I a bad gf,... Omg it was a mess.
Later I decided that he was being manipulative and left. Sorry for long and probably unrelated comment, just want to get off my chest.
Good for you for leaving! There's nothing wrong with clearing up communication. There is something wrong with someone trying to guilt trip your emotions and manipulate what you want.
I hope you feel better now! 💜
It felt sort of abusive here too. No clear communication he mentioned beforehand. And then the fact she had to sit down and assure HIM she liked it! Yes, but she does want a ring??? Like she was expecting a fight. And then there was a fight. Nowhere did he really think she’d like it, it was more about him liking it. That is an awful pretense for giving ANY gift to someone.
"Doesn't have a real job" *makes $60,000*
ikr?? What the hell qualifies as a real job anymore??
god i want that kind of job then.
As somebody who has bright dyed hair and regularly goes on hikes/runs. I won’t wash my hair if it’s not overly dirty or gross. I’ll use dry shampoo in between washes to hold my hair though. I wouldn’t wash my hair every day because I would basically be pouring money down the drain. But, if somebody at work has greasy hair to a point I would notice it, I would NEVER make an HR complaint, that’s crazy.
I don't think that person noticed it, I think they just over heard.
@@amolpreetkaur3443 Yeah I think the post said that Tina wouldn't wash her hair if she's going to be working from home (I know for sure that I wash my hair far less now than when I was working full time), not that she wouldn't wash her hair if she's coming into the office.
@Megan Strobel Oh yeah if I’m going swimming I absolutely wash my hair! Especially cause where I live there’s a lot of natural water springs and rivers to go swimming in as opposed to pools and you never know what’s in that water. It just shows that everybody’s hair situation is different :)
@Megan Strobel clorine sucks for hair, agreed , much more than shampoo... Lost a considerable amount of hair when i used to go swimming. That's why I don't prefer swimming being a regular thing for myself.
My dad proposed to my mom with a garbage twist tie and bought a ring later. My mom loved it and the twist tie ring is still in her jewelry box 😊
That's an adorable story! One of my favorite engagement stories I heard from my high school teacher. They were at a ball game, her boyfriend proposed, and he gave her a simple metal ring that he made in his workshop. They both knew she didn't want a diamond ring, and she still wore it years later as a beloved symbol of their marriage.
How would that "36 seconds late" thing work, though? Did the driver pull in at exactly that time and do a drive by because the second they stopped, they too would be late? Was it acceptable to be early? For either of them?
There was actually one terrible woman! The one who told her girlfriend she doesn’t have a real job, you missed it
That’s what I thought! Didn’t it say they were both women? (30F) (27F)
Yeah they misread that. It was two females. I was hoping they would realize that at some point. Oh well.
It was like an automatic reflex towards sexism. I noticed it too!
@@snowqueen3398 nah it's just hetro-normativity people assume a couple is het and they probably just missed the gender markers
@@AMVactivists well, they present themselves as very progressive so why would they assume it was a heterosexual couple?
Re: the “dirty” hair one: shampoos typically have sulphates in them that strip the natural hair oils. I know this as someone who has followed the Curly Girl Method, where shampoo is practically forbidden to the stricter followers
i was wondering the whole time if the woman Tina had curly hair or not because that could’ve changed their opinions a lot! well actually either way, OP should’ve minded his own business. people are still clean if they don’t wash their hair everyday.
To be fair I only have wavy hair but super thick and long (my mom's side has curly hair so I have weird texture but no curls unfortunately) so basically I cannot wash my hair often. It's a nightmare each time plus it doesn't get oily. So I wash my hair usually once a week, sometimes twice if I sweated a lot (like intense cardio or sth) and that's how I keep my hair nice and long and thick. I couldn't even imagine washing it all the time, since it just makes your hair oilier. Plus I use sulfate free shampoo, and honestly it makes a huge difference.
Right! As someone with very curly hair if someone told me to wash it more I’d have words.
I have long, super straight hair. I wash it about every three days. Every day would dry my hair out so badly, it’s better to let your hair produce natural oils and ✨marinate✨ for a little bit
I have long thick wavy hair that is a nightmare if I wash it every day. sticks straight up and nothing will hold it down. Its been a lifesaver to learn that I don't have to wash it every day as I was conditioned that I was "dirty" if I didn't. As long as someone doesn't smell who cares.
Cristine-about the ring-because she wanted one, if she later expressed she wanted one he should have capitulated. You may not give the tradition importance, others do. She very tactfully appreciated it.
If my boyfriend just threw away some of my clothes I would throw away my boyfriend.
I've had OCD diagnosis since I was young and it should go without saying that you can't push your triggers on other people in an attempt to control or berate a person. "Teach them a lesson" and scold them the whole ride there isn't OCD it's controlling.
Not to say triggers haven't gotten in the way or affected the people around me. But there has to be self reflection and realize people don't consent to being berated by it. I'm going to venture he uses the diagnosis to further manipulate other people as well.
I don't have ocd, but if i was pivking someone up and they weren't there I would drive away. just like if someone was picking me up i would be ready a minute or five before.
"A lot of people lost their job, so you can just STFU"
- Cristine
Oof I need this on a shirt.
Honestly, the guy that left his girlfriend on the mountain was f-ing hilarious
Specially as he didn't really leave her stranded he was down in the car.
Especially when he said it wasn’t a big mountain 😭
He’s so childish
Also why didn’t he mention that going down the mountain is 10x times more dangerous than going up? Definitely tried to make himself look good in this situation
I wasn't expecting there to be a 5 minute discussion about toilets vs urinals, but here we are and frankly i'm interested
I need an ‘am I the a**hole’ podcast at least once a month! These are great 😂😂
Re: amulet instead of ring for proposal
I totally get the idea of breaking down traditional stereotypes and it's always a good idea to bring up whether or not you care about having specific traditions. So on that front, I don't think the girlfriend should've expected a ring. It makes perfect sense that the poster got an amulet from a game significant to their relationship and I, personally, think it's well thought out and quite sweet. But I also think the fact that the girlfriend later sat the poster down and expressed her desire for a ring is valid. She didn't say it before but she is now saying it. Presumably, they're ready for lifelong commitment so they should be able to have a conversation about engagement jewelry. And it sounds like she expressed appreciation for the amulet/necklace as well. Poster can certainly be hurt but they should be able to discuss it so that everyone is happy with their engagement.
A related note: there are reasons to want a ring proposal that aren't just abiding by tradition. Wearing a ring can be the most effective way to "broadcast" that you're engaged since socially, most people understand the significance. This can help women avoid unwanted advances (sad reality) or maybe you're just the kind of person to want everyone to know you're engaged.
For the "relic amulet proposal" The amulet of mara is the Skyrim in-game proposal item to incite marriage proposal dialogue with NPCs. Its in theory a sweet idea. HOWEVER, the amulet itself is clunky, massive (like, legit the size of my palm) and very clearly looks like a cosplay piece (as well as most pieces for sale on etsy or other places are explicitly only being sold as costume jewelry aka they won't work or last long as a wear-everyday necklace). I'm an avid gamer and I have been since I was a kid, but even if I met my boyfriend on an online game making a decision like that and not including her in it is pretty inconsiderate. If they met over that 6 years ago and are older (and maybe she fell out of love with that game even, it happens) I can see how she would want a more traditional proposal since it could make her uncomfortable explaining the lack of a ring to friends and family afterwards. To me, it honestly just sounds really cheap of him the most 'expensive' amulet of mara to buy is like 50$. You are absolutely the asshole for trying to push a '''''gamer''''' proposal on someone who doesn't want one.
And tbh it seemed like she appreciated the thought but expected a ring too. She brought up that she wanted to go ring shopping as a couple and the other person shot her down. So they aren't listening to her despite her raising her thoughts after she has agreed to the proposal.
My partner proposed without a ring, and we chose one together. I didn't expect a ring but I liked the experience of both of us having an input and we discussed it. If I didn't want a ring we wouldn't have got one and if he wanted a ring we would have got him one too.
This. I also enjoy games and the whole thing seems REALLY cute to me, but they should have discussed before hand. He could have asked if she would be open to a non-traditional relationship symbol before fully committing, thus saving the headache and potential money issue with the amulet. If he couldn’t pick a ring, they could have shopped together like she suggested.
The one about the coworker not washing her hair as often: Who said that she wasn't washing her hair before going to work? When I read that I thought she meant when she was home she didn't have to wash her hair as much.