FYI to anyone who thinks a phone call or text when someone gets home will stop them from cheating: my ex would text other women in the bathroom or actually just right in front of me, hiding his phone. A cheater’s gonna cheat, so either leave the relationship, or just go to bed and stop thinking you can do anything about it.
Honestly, this is one of the best and helpful videos I’ve seen on this channel. Maybe because my situation is very similar, but Craig’s words resonated with me so much. I’ve seen a lot of “if he doesn’t want to be with me at my worst, then he doesn’t deserve to be with me at my best” kinda comments throughout all my journey here, but Craig just put it so simple, sympathetic and respectful to the other person. I don’t want to demonize my ex, and I love how Craig doesn’t demonize anyone, gently helping to understand the reasons behind someone’s behavior, and how to fix the situation. Thank you so much!
I'm an FA so we have that Anxious component in us. In typical FA fashion after not voicing my needs and frustrations 1 day I misunderstood a gesture & I regret to say I bit his freaking head off. I threatened to leave a few times; thing was, like this dude I was bluffing, I was angry & not thinking clearly I wanted attention & reassuring & I acted out. Unfortunately for me my much loved boyfriend was also an FA and he got scared, panicked, then angry, shut down hard and did what Coach Victoria describes a la' FAs "quit before they are fired." If you love your partner, let them know you're angry & you need a break. Never threaten them unless you mean it. Wherever you are, beautiful, I'm so sorry I acted like that.
Many men aren't meeting a new woman with relationship possibilities every week, hence they don't have "options". He feels he may not meet another for 7 months, if then. Still not correct behavior, but insecurities still drive him to it.
My ex partner is separated. We had 3.5 years together. Was I being overly anxious to ask about his feelings for me as I navigated a situation whereby he would meet his ex wife, daughters and other family members - without pre-warning - and where I was excluded? The wife didn’t know I existed. My attempt to get reassurance has led to the break up. I am hovering between despair and shaking anger that I have been used as a band aid to support his recovery from separation only to get dumped for asking if he felt anything for me. X
You tolerate this behavior for too looooong. By the time you wanted to fix it specially in the day that the disrespect took place was too late. In other words you procrastinate too much or you tolerate this behavior maybe because you’re scared to lose him. Go no contact turn the table around 😊
The woman was not really into him and was letting the relationship fade away. I have done it to people and people have done it to me. At this time, he'll have to let it go and see if she comes around. There's nothing else he can do now. Just work on himself for someone else. He may eventually come around or not...
I was told I would never be a priority, that I was filling a void, that I would always be an option and that he’d be “settling.” For four years since 2018 hed facetime, call, text, sext, talk for 2 hours, asked me to come visit….it feels like I was played but he insisted he wasn’t playing me. It’s like he started picking at me to get me to question my self worth and security. Is it possible for people to devalue you only to then turn around and make you feel like it’s your fault for getting anxious about the situation? Is it wrong to expect people to treat you respectfully?
@@benithacalloway8286 I wish we all had ways of chatting individually, like a support group or chat. It’s ironic that you say that as I have one text where he actually ended it with “I sound like a narcissist sociopath.”
@@audra1976oliver I’m so hesitant to say that. I keep thinking It’s my fault . When I ask what has happened to him he yells, YOU! You are my problem!!!! Because I’ve tried resolve the issue to a positive outcome. But anytime I mention how I feel he tells me I’m a “whiny ass b*tch.” This wasn’t who he was when I first started getting to know him.
@@brianhill6842 he used the same pattern of narcissist.1_❤️ Love bombing 2_🙄devaluation Hot n Cold.Found a next Prey or your replacement then 3_🤮Disposed. Dump. If you resist ✋🏽blocking time. RUN GO NO CONTACT DONT CALL DONT TEXT. Work on yourself They’ll come back crolljng.
I did exactly that. Got her back and focused on myself. After a few months I fell back into being anxious about her calling me because she works on the weekends out of state. Plus we are living together and she wants me to move out. I am going to but it's the last thing I want to do. Any advice? Just move on?
If you’re interested in healing your attachment issues, check out my Knowledge Workbooks or Creative Healing Course at AskCraig.net
FYI to anyone who thinks a phone call or text when someone gets home will stop them from cheating: my ex would text other women in the bathroom or actually just right in front of me, hiding his phone. A cheater’s gonna cheat, so either leave the relationship, or just go to bed and stop thinking you can do anything about it.
Honestly, this is one of the best and helpful videos I’ve seen on this channel. Maybe because my situation is very similar, but Craig’s words resonated with me so much.
I’ve seen a lot of “if he doesn’t want to be with me at my worst, then he doesn’t deserve to be with me at my best” kinda comments throughout all my journey here, but Craig just put it so simple, sympathetic and respectful to the other person.
I don’t want to demonize my ex, and I love how Craig doesn’t demonize anyone, gently helping to understand the reasons behind someone’s behavior, and how to fix the situation.
Thank you so much!
I'm an FA so we have that Anxious component in us. In typical FA fashion after not voicing my needs and frustrations 1 day I misunderstood a gesture & I regret to say I bit his freaking head off. I threatened to leave a few times; thing was, like this dude I was bluffing, I was angry & not thinking clearly I wanted attention & reassuring & I acted out. Unfortunately for me my much loved boyfriend was also an FA and he got scared, panicked, then angry, shut down hard and did what Coach Victoria describes a la' FAs "quit before they are fired."
If you love your partner, let them know you're angry & you need a break. Never threaten them unless you mean it. Wherever you are, beautiful, I'm so sorry I acted like that.
@Aisha TY kind person bless you.
Many men aren't meeting a new woman with relationship possibilities every week, hence they don't have "options". He feels he may not meet another for 7 months, if then. Still not correct behavior, but insecurities still drive him to it.
My ex partner is separated. We had 3.5 years together. Was I being overly anxious to ask about his feelings for me as I navigated a situation whereby he would meet his ex wife, daughters and other family members - without pre-warning - and where I was excluded? The wife didn’t know I existed. My attempt to get reassurance has led to the break up. I am hovering between despair and shaking anger that I have been used as a band aid to support his recovery from separation only to get dumped for asking if he felt anything for me. X
You tolerate this behavior for too looooong. By the time you wanted to fix it specially in the day that the disrespect took place was too late. In other words you procrastinate too much or you tolerate this behavior maybe because you’re scared to lose him. Go no contact turn the table around 😊
Great Video Craig
I’m just insecure because I think no one likes me 😌
The woman was not really into him and was letting the relationship fade away. I have done it to people and people have done it to me. At this time, he'll have to let it go and see if she comes around. There's nothing else he can do now. Just work on himself for someone else. He may eventually come around or not...
I was told I would never be a priority, that I was filling a void, that I would always be an option and that he’d be “settling.” For four years since 2018 hed facetime, call, text, sext, talk for 2 hours, asked me to come visit….it feels like I was played but he insisted he wasn’t playing me. It’s like he started picking at me to get me to question my self worth and security. Is it possible for people to devalue you only to then turn around and make you feel like it’s your fault for getting anxious about the situation? Is it wrong to expect people to treat you respectfully?
This is the action of a narcissist you just described. Run Run Run
@@benithacalloway8286 I wish we all had ways of chatting individually, like a support group or chat. It’s ironic that you say that as I have one text where he actually ended it with “I sound like a narcissist sociopath.”
True Narcissist.
@@audra1976oliver I’m so hesitant to say that. I keep thinking It’s my fault . When I ask what has happened to him he yells, YOU! You are my problem!!!! Because I’ve tried resolve the issue to a positive outcome. But anytime I mention how I feel he tells me I’m a “whiny ass b*tch.” This wasn’t who he was when I first started getting to know him.
@@brianhill6842 he used the same pattern of narcissist.1_❤️ Love bombing 2_🙄devaluation Hot n Cold.Found a next Prey or your replacement then 3_🤮Disposed. Dump. If you resist ✋🏽blocking time. RUN GO NO CONTACT DONT CALL DONT TEXT. Work on yourself They’ll come back crolljng.
Thankyou for the insightful content you share.
Good morning coach!
Ah the anxiety, what a ruiner 😂
I did exactly that. Got her back and focused on myself. After a few months I fell back into being anxious about her calling me because she works on the weekends out of state. Plus we are living together and she wants me to move out. I am going to but it's the last thing I want to do. Any advice? Just move on?
lol hope u read this and moved on