I always hated the way Shirley tried to play victim, crying about how Kimberly treated her. Ma’am, she was raped and impregnated at 14 and you did NOTHING about it! You protected the predator, then further tortured her by raising the baby, reminding her of her trauma day after day! Shirley deserved every ounce of that anger!
I completely agree. Mrs. Shirley created the cold, bitter Kimberly. She didn't even pull Kimberly to the side and ask her how she was doing. You know your adult daughter is suffering bc of a childhood trauma. It never goes away. You didn't think in reality, that someone in that town didn't remember 14 year old Kimberly being pregnant? You know people gossip. Someone messy asked Byron did he ever hear about what happened to his sister's baby? Then someone else would have been like, it's crazy that your mama had a baby around the same time your sister allegedly did. I didn't like this at all.
You need to remember that back then the old school thought that was what was best for everybody including the child and grand baby. They didn’t have the education or social awareness that we have. We’re very fortunate to be so evolved. The Big Mamas believed babies were a blessing no matter what and were doing what they thought was right under God by raising the baby under any circumstances so their child could live their life. Be empathetic.
Kind of harsh to say she tortured her. The man that raped her should've been severely punished, but the kid didn't ask to be born. What else was supposed to happen to the child if he wasn't raised by the grandmother?
@AshleyMagnolia_ You can still point out how harsh and evil it is to disregard the assaulted child. People in the past used to abandon disabled kids, put women who needed support in mental asylums etc. It was never right and we are allowed to critique them in favor or recognizing how awful that accepted behavior was. I have more empathy for the child who was forced to bear a kid from rape than anything. That still happens to this day and it's disgusting.
rich auntie here. i'm tapped out...i've heard "she think she better than everybody else" when I have been more than accommodating. then when I set boundaries, I am rude and arrogant.
It's because you are better than everyone else. Let's call a spade a spade. You're probably living, eating, dressing and traveling better. Please enjoy the comforts your money can buy with no guilt.
They hate your boundaries because they just want to continually have access to you unrestricted so they can freely abuse you and use you. Hate entitled families. I was a literal slave to my family, I was their servant, made to be a beast of burden and not allowed to be soft or even practice self care. I left at 18 and NEVER looked back!! Free living a soft life, I don't open doors or pay any bills and have my own little hustles making money and taking care of myself, am free from being a slave.
#JusticeforTerri because why did her mama have her paying for EVERYTHING meanwhile she got all her money stashed away in a TV instead of an interest-bearing saving account 😂
HELLO?? I'm sayin' Like you know daggone well you're wrong for having your daughter paying for everything without so much as a contribution from your tv money
@@CocoaCosmosOfficial Imagine if Soul Food was given a realistic ending instead of the Happily Ever After take. I would be PISSED if I was Terry. Her MOTHER left her out to dry so she could pay for the whole family!
And on top of that, had to deal with not only her sister stealing her boyfriend but her cousin sleeping with her husband. And made her seem like she was overreacting for being upset, she deserved a better family fr.
I hate how black women who have money are Vilanized bc they don't deal with nonsense. Yes there are some evil women out here but just bc they have money and are not living up to someone else standard on THIER life doesn't make them bad or that they abandoned the family
She likely would have been better off abandoning the family and finding some guy with no other hobbies besides work and maybe eating out. I doubt she would ask for much else at that point (based on the writing).
I said the same thing in a comment on a vid on Tik Tok and everyone over there was like it was necessary and needed to be told. Had me thinking I was crazy
I hate the writing (except This Christmas) of these successful, independent women as they are being leeched from by “family” don’t actually care about the wealthy sister’s wellbeing. “That job won’t keep you warm” line is annoying because all this money can buy me a weighted blanket. Plus unhealthy relationships with ungrateful mooches would make anyone frustrated and miserable to be around them.
My heart broke for Teri. Her family used her so much, shamed her, and then got angry when she tried to hold them accountable 🙄. I wish she just left and never came back.
But also, let’s not pretend that Teri’s attitude was the best. Homegirl was on husband number two for a reason, I’m sure. I understand her anger, but she held onto her career and her degree as a means to act above everybody. She was unsupportive in Miles’ love for music, telling him (who was a successful lawyer just as she was) that only a certain portion of his money is in their joint account and he can’t use it, and bragged about how she graduated from law school while Maxine dropped out of college at 19 when all Maxine stated was that their mother would want them to continue their family tradition of Sunday dinner. I’m not saying she had a right to be cheated on or didn’t have a right to be angry, but her payment of things and her degree didn’t warrant a lot of her actions.
@@phatboybright I hated Maxine. She irritated me more than anybody. The scene where Terri catches Max and Kenny in the car, you can see Maxine smiling, like she's enjoying hurting and embarrassing her sister. Kenny laughed too. That never sat right with me. Nobody cared about Terri's feelings and it was played for laughs.
I've had a family member use my sexual assault as a "gotcha" moment as if it was a character flaw that needed to be "exposed" because I acted like I was "too good for them." I've never forgot it. The lengths that insecure people will go through to hurt you when your very presence makes them feel small is so despicable.
OMG! I absolutely despise my mother just because she does the same thing: taking something very personal to me that she knows is an insecurity and trying to have a gotcha moment. Just despicable. These type of people should not waste our time; as you said, their insecure themselves
I am sorry you went through that. SA is a violation to anyone. No one deserves to be harmed in that way. No one should ever discuss anyone else's moment publicly. It didn't happen to them. That's inexcusable behavior. I would no longer talk or associate with that family member.
@@CeliniacForLife - hate to be that guy but. While Vanessa identifies as black. She did her DNA breakdown and she’s 50% African 50% European. She’s mixed
Terry is a cautionary tale of what happens when you don’t set proper boundaries. I also low key think Terry doesn’t have the same daddy as the rest of them.
She did. I guess many people talked about it so much. They discussed it on the tv series. Terry was light and looked just like their daddy. Terry even talked about how she felt insecure. She envied her sisters because they looked like her mother. Their mother reassured her she was beautiful and that she should admire that she took after her father.
Terri was only light skin because Vanessa Williams got the role. I've heard that Whitney Houston and Vivica Fox were considered or auditioned for the part. Terri wasn't intentionally casted for a biracial actress to imply she had a different daddy, jmo. 🤷🏽♀
The fact that Shirley was okay with letting everyone in the family think that her 12-13 yr old daughter was sleeping around is still crazy to me. Even said out of her own mouth “i dont know why she hates me” and still apologized on her death bed cause she knew exactly what was wrong the whole time🙄I would’ve liked that movie if Shirley actually died alone without her children there to comfort her. She got the stressful life that she deserved
I would have liked if Kimberly would have confronted everyone at the table instead of leaving. She should have told Tammy that she didn't know what it felt like to be SA, pregnant from the attack, and by someone in the family. An uncle should have been protecting you from people like that. That would have been the moment to ask her mama, why she acted like it never happened. As for Calvin, she could have just told him then like she did in the end. She was too ashamed to talk about it and was afraid to tell him.
In real life, it is a painful existence. Somehow, you are labeled “evil” or “selfish,” despite helping everyone the most. Also, no one returns the favor, so you never catch a break; you always have to have enough to take care of all your needs and the next family emergency. Eventually, if you are smart, you learn to stay away to protect yourself. It’s a lonely and draining experience. Thanks for the video.
Exactly how I feel. You do so much for people but they never appreciate it. So I stay at a distance. And yes, you’ll always get scapegoated no matter what you do
"A mother knows" that scene is the epitome of the babying some of these matriachs do for these boys, only for them to grow up and blame women for all the mess they put themselved into. Aaaabsolutely not. Im so glad to see younger people are learning that boundaries (even with toxic family members) is not wrong.
I love this video. As the "rich" auntie/cousin I will say that they only ask for what you allow. I opened my wallet up to everyone and they took took took until I put a stop to it. I have a millionaire male cousin who nobody asks for anything and people always says oh he has a wife and kids and employees, don't ask him for nothing. The same is never afforded to the women/girls in the family. Partially it's our fault for always being so maternal towards everyone in the family but also our families fault for culturing us that way.
THIS. I just relocated to be near family for a few reasons, and they are astonished at how easily "no" comes from my mouth. These same people know my situation and the specific reason I'm temporarily local, yet they still only see a new female body to be used for their (often poorly thought out) antics. Magically, they figure it out themselves after my refusal. I witnessed them drain the other free or paid women in our family and refuse to be next in line. I have priorities that will be respected. These requestes are always things that they can reslove with even a bit of effort or logic, so I don't feel bad about turning them down. The boundary is working well so far!
I watched a compilation of “Why I am no longer sending money back to Africa” and it was ALL women being robbed by ungrateful tools! And then some people in the comment section had the audacity to say “WOMEN” were ungrateful and cannot be providers. They’re sick and tired of BEING providers for 8 people back home cause the men aren’t sending back a cent!
Tammy was so wrong for saying that to her sister 😢 because it's not like she just laid down, had a child and decided to just abandon him. She was literally r4p3d as a minor. It wasn't her fault the family were too pwssy to just tell the truth to Byron
I don't think the family knew about what happened to Kimbery. Madea revealed the truth to everyone about what happened near the end of the film. Which is why Kimberly has a bitter attitude the most of the film. Probably after what happened growing up the in family as well. Which made the siblings (mostly Tammy) assume that she was too good for them.
My sexual trauma was used against me as a teen when I was crying for help. Then, everyone was looking around like "why is she trying to off herself?" Later, when I went off to school and started making money/distancing myself from the family members that assaulted me, I was treated as though I was acting like I was better than everybody else. I was literally told "you ain't no angel, either" as a 12 year old who was m*l*st*d by multiple family members in the church. I was later r*p*d by non- family members, but just the fact that family tried to victim blame was insane. My parents fought very hard for my treatment because they were VERY OBVIOUSLY left in the dark by the parents whose children/teens were responsible for the SA that went on for years. You just have to love from afar.
A similar situation happened to Toni Braxton. Baby face record label chose only Toni and not her sisters so their mom guilt tripped Toni into helping her sisters out in the entertainment industry and I’m sure that can lead to resentment. Toni’s the rich one in her family.
I always wondered what soul food would’ve been like if Ahmad were a girl. Girls tend to be exposed to dynamics in the family that boys are sheltered from. Also as an adult I now believe Terry always seemed to resent Miles because he could pursue his passion and she doesn’t have that luxury of just giving up her job because she’s the financial backbone of her family.
I believe Terry had to be just like the video stated, the one who made the sacrifices. She was engaged to Kenny but lost him to her sister. She gets Miles but loses him to music. She felt like ignoring her own needs and desires built stability in her life. It reality, it emotionally damaged her.
As a working adult who does okay, the biggest misconception these movie paint in people’s minds is that one family member going to college and making above minimum wage can support an entire extended family. That was maybe true after WWII, but hasn’t been the case since before Ronald Reagan. Now, we often come out of college with student loan debt the equivalent of a mortgage, are often struggling in the for years beginning, working in environments where there are so few of us that we don’t fit in the corporate world or the streets, and we also have bills to pay! These movies do not show an accurate depiction of unemployed, working poor, lower-middle-, middle-middle-, and upper-middle class individuals across an entire black family. Instead, they mark one working black woman in the family as the source of the writer’s and director’s grievances about the potential upward mobility and education of black women.
Being the oldest girl in my family, I noticed the overarching theme in all these movies and my own life are that they're the oldest girl. We're made to "mother" our siblings without calling it that. We end up adults that are hyper-responsible and chronic overachievers because we dont know any other way to be in life but that way. We are held accountable for our siblings and parents failures, even at a young age we are depended on heavily for meeting the parental and emotional needs of everyone in the house especially in the event both parents are at work or to support our single parent easing their emotional burdens. We also have to bounce back quickly on our own when we fall. There is a learned heroism here because no one will or understand we need them to be there for us to depend on when we should have the family helping us like we helped them.
My husband and I are the oldest in our families. It’s a blessing to be the responsible, resourceful one but it can be exhausting. Family think just because we’re the successful ones we should provide for everyone. Who can we run to if our world crumbles? Since we have similar backgrounds with our individual family, we make sure to treat ourselves ( put us on the priority list). We had to create boundaries with extended family so we can focus on our household.
i remember i got sick & needed surgery & was therefore not working….my BROTHER said to me: “you used to be the most successful one. you have TWO degrees. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?” i learned THEN i was not a HUMAN to my biological family. but a MACHINE. the oldest child, especially the Black girl, you’re right, we’re NOT seen as a person w/ feelings. or allowed to “fail” or “need help” smh
These films taught me that family ain't s**t unless they prove that they are. I've cussed out and cut off about 1/3 of my relatives and my life is so much more peaceful than the family members who feel like they have to "play nice" and "keep the peace". F all that. Who is the peace being kept for? The aggressor. Who benefits from never being held accountable? The aggressor. Black aunties - please tell your triflin' family to kiss your ass and go no contact. Build your family with people you choose who love and support you with loyalty and respect. You deserve.
Tammy herself thinks her children aren't well behaved but kimberly thinking the same thing is a problem to her ego so much so, that you have to take a "dig" at her because you "actually raise your boys" and shirley saying she doesn't know why kimberly treats her that way will never NOT upset my soullll!!!!!! You knew what happened to her! You mean to tell me you don't think being SA'ed and giving birth to a child while you're a child yourself will make you hate everybody!!!!/
Seems like the more successful sister or family member gets volunteered to become the provider for the family and god forbid they set boundaries and say no they get labeled as a horrible sister, child, or family member when actually the less successful family members are users
#JusticeforTerry I don't think Terry even wanted to be married. But no matter how successful a woman is, family will manage to still shame you if you aren't married with children. And Maxine ain't bout nothing, taking your sister's boyfriend, and still in Maxine's pockets, the nerve.
black women work so damn hard and rise above the worst circumstances. i support any black woman who chooses herself, her empowerment. all else can eat dust.
Our community often vilifies successful black women. It’s even worse if they’re single and childfree. More often than not, women are seen as a commodity to be utilized and not a person. Her time, labor, and money is seen as being wasted if she is the only one benefitting from her work. Her generosity is expected. This breeds a feeling of entitlement amongst her family. Whatever she gives is not enough. Any boundaries make her a villain. She is seen as being “Out of touch” or “Snobby” if she is anything more than a doormat and an open purse.
"She says the things you hate to hear and she always has your back". People think we're haters but really we want people to see that they deserve better.
What always irritated me about ‘Big Happy Family’ was the lack of closure between Kimberley and Byron. You’d think Byron would have a million questions or would at least want to know why things went down the way they did. Madea should’ve given Tammy the same treatment she gave those hellion children, maybe she would’ve straightened up too.
As a kid it bothered me how Terry was treated...but how the successful sis is treated starts early when your family see you have your head on right. At least for me it did. Been fighting for my life to keep boundaries....
I hated soul food as a kid because I knew they did her wrong so I know as grown people they knew she had the short end of the stick. Haven’t watched since the 90’s 😂
Girl same. I was in high school when the movie came out and we went to see it at the theater. I was feeling a type of way when the movie ended. I haven't watched it since. And they had the nerve to give that movie a tv show? I hope they did better by Terri in the tv show than they did in the movie. I was with Terri when she said "fuck the family". The family was trash. Terri should've cut her family off and paid them dust. Truthfully, she should've been done with those people when she went to college. Maxine got off way to light for what she did and Kenny wasn't shit. I think he just wanted to have both sisters. I can go on and on about what pissed me off about that movie. 😂🙄 I'm just glad people are now realizing that Terri was not the villain the movie made her out to be.
Soul Food has to be the most aggravating movie I've ever watched. How they treated Terri was AWFUL!!!!! Literally none of them ever considered her feelings! BIRD AND HER good for nothing husband PISSED ME OFF!!! 1st, Terri paid for their wedding! 2nd paid for her salon! 3rd when birds husband literally came in their bought to out his hands on her. Hell yea I would've called my cousins on him tf!! Then he wants to sit at the dinner table BLAMING Terri bc he gotta temper. When she's the ONE WHO BAILED HIM OUT! THE NERVE!! Then Bird ass to tell her to mind her business. I would've said GLADLY DONT ASK ME FOR A DAMN THING!!!!! then faith at the table playing victim. ughhhhh the audacity of EVERYONE!!! They were all jealous of her beauty and success.
Like at least she got his ass out when she realized it was a misunderstanding and they wanna be hateful about it. People thought he put hands on her. I’m very much getting it handled if it was my sister. Shouldn’t have been tearing up stuff if you don’t wanna deal with consequences
I used to hate Kimberly as a child until I got older and realized that she is just like me when it comes to my sa except for the pregnancy resulted if that, I empathize with her.
I totally understand why Kimberly was so angry because of her unresolved trauma from her childhood she had every right to be angry with her mother unfortunately i know this very well from my own childhood i don't think her mother got her help when she was younger of the three kelli is my favorite love her for speaking the truth
I love the rich auntie/sister Diahann Carroll Dominique Deveraux was my idol. They’re always beautiful child free and happier then the other siblings or relative.
🙄 here we go with this childfree crap. I don't get this weird hate towards kids that grown people have these days. Being childfree doesn't make someone happier. Insanely annoying how you guys indicate people with kids are always miserable. When I know people without kids that are fucking bitter. You people always bring up being childless in every conversation about anything.its beyond irritating.
@@Las645 . Not wanting kids and hating children is not the same thing. Your acting so butt for no reason. Sounds like your the bitter one. Looking at stats women without kids live longer and they have more money to spend instead of using it for brats. I’m not sure who “you people” are considering I’m only one person and do not represent the majority but considering this is a video about rich black women yes I brought up no children because it’s a common denominator. I’m only 19 and my eggs probably aren’t fully cooked so who knows if I’ll have kids in the future but bitter people such as yourself who complain when others express there admiration for a lifestyle are enough negative energy for me to keep the birth control on lock.
You're right. Terry would have wanted a career first, but would have struggled with Kenny. Next, Kenny would have been pressuring her to have kids and that would have been the beginning to the end for them.
True, but that line still shouldn't have ever been crossed imo. I still think Kenny just wanted to have his cake and eat it too. I think he just wanted both sisters, he was attracted to them both. I don't buy the "he fell in love with Maxine at first sight" narrative because why didn't he break it off with Terri? It ended cause Max and Kenny got caught, if he could've kept dating them both he would've imo. The writer's tried to sell it as a love story that they fell in love at first sight, but I don't buy it. Max was jealous and wanted what her sister had and Kenny was a fuckboy, period. 🤷🏽♀
I was adopted at 3 months by ..... "the well off sister" and her husband. And can you believe, Her nieces' HATED me for it? Like it's my fault, They adopted me and provided for me. And the nieces always referred to me as the "Rich Cousin". After all these years, I now realize they were being salty on the sly, callin me that. And no we don't speak now. When my parents died, I was shut completely out. But it's their loss.
This is my life…straight out of a movie. I have been the ATM for the last 10 years and now at 37, I have put my foot down and everyone is showing their true colors. Yeah you only call me when you want something and if I don’t reach out I would never hear from you again. Well the door is to the left and I’ll see you at mine or yours funeral.
This is my family’s dynamic. I don’t go back home like i used to & the only time i heard from them is when i reach out first. I haven’t heard from some of them in years.
I hate how Tyler Perry films always villainize rich black woman and make their trauma seem like a not big deal compared to helping their family. Growing up is realizing how wrong this people families was for treating these women like this.
To add, they say " mind your business" but everything is their busines financially. They'd mind their own business if they had 0 to do with it. And on top of that, family is being used as an excuse to telerate poor behavior and abuse. It'a the reality of it all. They are britter and resentful, so they come off cold, but they still care die to the fact that they help their family financially and also try to give them tough love pep talk. This was a great video, i enjoyed it. Makes me think of myself. I can see the resemblense in the names too.
Not to mention eldest daughters are always more responsible, better at managing finances, and more well-rounded because we have to grow up fast. A 25-year-old black woman probably has the life experiences and skills of a 50-year-old average man/woman. This is exactly why I don't get the outrage when BW date older or make "older adult decisions" because they have already lived 9 adult lives ahead of schedule of their peers
For Teri’s situation…no way could I speak to my sister. Even though her ex (now sister’s husband) is trifling…but it’s bigger than him. She chose to be with her sister’s ex boyfriend. Idc how great of a wife or mother you are, you are lower than trash. Your morals are out of the window and will most definitely reap what you sow.
Max honestly irritated me more than Faith did. When Terri caught Maxine and Kenny in the car, the bitch was smiling about it, like she thought it was funny. Kenny laughed too when they were fighting. The way they enjoyed Terri's pain irritated me. Faith and Miles regretted what they did and I think Faith apologized.
I’m trying to get rich but its hard when everyone see you shining and they want some of that light. I don’t even respond when people ask me for money. I don’t ask for anything I can’t give back and that simple fact is what make me keeping me alive to thrive. The guilt trips don’t work on me, the emotional outburst don’t bother me; I have detached myself from people that can’t reciprocate. I will always support another women putting her education first and stay grounded.
As rich auntie well as the obly one without children who does the estate managing and looking to the future: WHAT YOU ALLOW WILL CONTINUE. Only give out what you don't mind not getting back and always remind everyone to stand/set up their own. No one can take what you build and control. Kelly was the most gracious portrayal of rich auntie amongst these three; in the end all the animosity was an eldest daughter projecting that weight and her insecurities on someone else. Terry should've actually abandoned the family; move to a different city even if she still felt compelled to finance everyone at least she wouldn't have to eat Sunday dinners with her ex and unappreciative sisters. OBHF was just a hot mess from start to finish and gaslighty.
My family made me the “Rich Sister Archetype” but here’s the kicker… I’m not even rich! No one calls me unless they want something and if I say no (because I truly don’t have it) they treat me cruel and disrespectful. It’s very hurtful
Growing up is really realizing that Kimberly had her faults but she was never the “villain.” She was tortured for years & all that emotional trauma was just bottled up💔
In the dynamic of Lisa and Kelli I believe Lisa deserves more grace. While I was disgusted how Lisa catered and shrunk for a man who she too knew wasn’t crap we have to live in reality. We know wealth is in what you own the fact is they would’ve lost all their assets if nobody had stayed and helped. Lisa’s family is entitled and automatically thought she should stay and do everything (without thanks I might add) since she’s the oldest. Lisa suffered from oldest daughter syndrome. Kelli said “women do it everyday” but those women usually have support from their family not a sister who constantly is judgmental and makes snide remarks about her position in life juxtaposed to herself. JUSTICE FOR LISA!!!
That’s real. I said it in my final thoughts but I can’t stress enough that the only redeemable person in these families I spoke about was Lisa. She truly didn’t have much of a choice and was upset Kelli thought it was as simple as 123 to pack up and leave a man with two kids with only being a homemaker on her resume. It was unfair that she directed her bottled up emotions towards Kelli but she did apologize and admit she wasn’t right for that. For that reason, I give Lisa a small pass.
😢 I completely agree. Their oldest brother left before anyone, when he should have stayed to help, too. I feel bad for all families who go through this. You do the honorable thing but feel trapped. Everyone else gets to live out dreams and enjoy life.
I notice that all those rich sisters have a more Eurocentric appearance/pheno than the opposite sister does. Art imitating life where physical features determine who gets economic access way more (often) than any other factor.
In my headcannon, Terri spent like a year with her family after her mom’s death, couldn’t take it anymore especially after her cousin and husband sleeping together was looked over and just left and started traveling and having fun. Tammy was just a jealous hefer tbh. Kimberly was the pretty sister with a lot of money and Tammy was the cooking sister who was closer to her mom. In general to use a sexual assault against someone in an argument shows her character and my happy ending to that movie is that she stayed around for the funeral then divorced her husband, gained custody of the child and seemed therapy and counseling for how her terrible family treated her. Lastly she made new friends and doesn’t see her family unless it’s for Christmas and Thanksgiving then eventually cuts them off to do Friendsgiving.
I always empathized with Terry. Even though i am the youngest, I was always the fiscally responsible one in the family. I was also always the single childless one. Everybody thought my money was family money even though I didn't make a lot of money...I was just good with what I had. Once I had that first child, I even tell my parents that if I have to choose I'm taking care of my children because they can't take care of themselves. Y'all will all be on the streets before I let them starve or go without basic necessities. They continue to make, into their late 70's early 80's, bad decisions. Smh
Black woman here 🙋🏾♀️but not black American. I feel this horrible portrayal of successful black woman or the protection of abusers for the sake of protecting the peace in the family is a recurring theme in black communities all over the world and I HATE it it to my guts
I used to not like Kimberly when I was younger but I remember the dinner scene and how Tammy threw that got pregnant at 13 but glossed over that she was r@ped by their uncle.
People try to treat me like the archetype irl and I’m not the one. Vanessa Williams in Soul Food really didn’t deserve the treatment cause she was single-handedly holding the fam down financially and even helping homeboy get jumped after she thought he put his hands on her sister
It's yet more humbling, unfortunately it's not unrealistic to have families feel those that are doing well need to do more to 'help', even though the 'need' for help is never ending, they also project their discomfort and paranoia by believing that they are being looked down on and that the one doing well needs to 'come down to earth' follow and live like them.
Pt 2 please!! I'm a dude but I literally empathize with the characters you spoke about. I've got some older cousins, and heard the way family speak about them, talking about they think they better, etc. like literally you can't be a well off black woman and just keep your head out the non sense without your own family crapping on you. Like they find things to pick on. Like one cousins literally a will paid biologist, married, debt free, living lovely in a giant house. And there are still aunt's like "well look at Miss too good to come around" , like I wonder why!
Great video. Yes "Rich Auntie" here. If you remain near the family, you sacrifice for the family and become second mom. Whether you move away or stay, you're expected to pay the bill and if you're in a relationship, your mate needs to understand these dynamics. You're often viewed as difficult or think you're better than, but the truth is, you sacrifice for the family and often see little rewards until you stand up for yourself.
Thank you for making this video! As a kid I always wondered why Teri had a chip on her shoulder. No wonder, she was carrying that whole family on her shoulders and in her pockets!
Soul Food is such a good movie and honestly Terry had a sad life despite how financially successful she was. She was the oldest who often times is another parent to their siblings. Her first love became her sisters man. Never had children, All her family just thought she had an attitude but everyone depended on her..her husband wants to Persue his hobby while she pays the bills and ends up cheating on her with her niece or cousin in the midst of her mother dying…like that’s sad
I thank Goddess for these movies because they opened my eyes as a child. I saw how to I needed protect myself since I'd decided to be chilefree. So when I finished college, I *immediately* distanced myself by taking a job in a different country. I hope this next generation of women sets firm boundaries.
Lol I’m almost 26 and the rich sister because of my career and my partner is rich rich…chile I’m sick of my family. I live across the country and have never received a normal phone call it’s always about money. Since I was a child and they do me disrespectful asf
I consider myself so grateful that I was raised in a family (on both sides) who highly encourage and support the younger generation to be successful, not out of a need to benefit from their success, but to just feel pride in raising a successful child. It's been heavily ingrained in us to not want/need from family, as it looks shameful on you being the older generation having to financially rely on the younger generation; like it says you were unable to properly do for yourself if you're reaching for others, especially those much younger. It's more expected for the parents and grandparents to gifted money to the young ones or help them if they're struggling, not the other way around. My mind was blown when my boyfriend told me about his family's background/culture, where it was expected for the adults kids to help financially support their parents, to the point of the parents having some intrusive control over their money/income. His family members (like aunts and cousins) will constantly ask for handouts, and even steal on occasions cause "We're family and we should share". I was completely dumbfounded by all this, cause actions (and even thoughts) like that were unthinkable in my family... My mother would die of shame if she had to rely on her kids for money; she'd gladly accept gifts, but if she ever asked for a quick handout, she would be quick to pay us back, cause in her mind 'that's her kids' hard earned money, and we need/deserve it more than she does'. She's got her own, so why take from her children? (We, as her children, were taught the same: 'Don't rely on others financially, always have your own, and pay back what your owe'.)
I love my family so much. We have a rich sister/aunt, she's respected and loved as all the other sisters/aunts, she does pay for a lot of things... for her elderly parents, her sisters, nephews and nieces deal with their own lives and responsibilities, and when someone has a problem and needs help, we don't expect the rich sister to take it upon her, if she does, THANK YOU, but it's not her circus not her monkeys, everyone helps because we love each other. That is a big relief for me, because unless one of my beautiful, smart and amazing cousins make something really big in the future, all points that I will be the rich sister/aunt of my generation and seeing the example our elders created make me happy and honoured to be part of this family
This is how it should be. Not expected but appreciated. It means so much more that your family helps each other if and when they can and without solely relying on one person.
You are beyond blessed to thrive in a family which understands helping each other up and having each others backs. Many, many families are in turmoil because it is every-man-for-themselves. No vision.
This breakdown was important for me in a lot of ways. It resonates. Thanks for drawing attention to the seemingly “boujie” ladies perspective. In the end, it’s not about being boujie, but sincere work ethic and pushing forward, even when life is tough. The items are just the spoils of your labor. Next up, Tony Child’s please!…🤗💕😍
Justice for Terri!!! I hated soul food bc of the way they treated her?? Like you’re my sister and fw someone I like and yet im supposed to be okay w that? BYEEEE
Facts on facts. Nobody paid for what they did to Terri. Everybody got their happily ever after BUT Terri. Max and Kenny married with kids, got to keep the house, Maxine pretty much got everything she wanted, Bird and Lem had a baby, Lem got his job back (thanks to Terri), Miles and Faith still able to come around and sit at the table with the family like nothing happened? WTF? And Terri is expected to show up every week and sit and talk and eat with these leeches and traitors like everything is good? Nah bruh, I wasn't feeling that ending at all. Justice for Terri!
No because the way this movie straight-up tried to gaslight us into thinking Kimberly was the villain and NOT Tammy. The fact that Tammy knew what happened to her and didn't say anyhing but made it look like she was just angry just because was insane. Tammy was also a terrible wife and mother. She's definitely one of those moms that won't discipline her kids but would get upset when someone else does. She was truly just mean and hateful for literally no reason. I'm glad you included this Madea movie but it still pisses me off so much.
You’re right but the only reason I didn’t count that as the meeting is because she didn’t technically meet him then because she never saw his face or spoke to him. He remembered her as like a love at first sight thing.
This all may be tmi and TW, but I feel I need to get my story out. Although I don’t have kids, I am Kimberly. My mom’s older brother SA me when I was 14. As it turned out he did the same to my mom when she was even younger than I was. I had no idea until after it happened to me. No police were called. My mom asked him if he did it, he denied of course. “I don’t need her, I got a wife.” Is what he told my mom. She basically said okay and that was that. I lived in fear up until he died. My mom didn’t care nor bothered to get me any help. When I turned 26, I was SA again by someone I thought was cool. I went to the police, but it was my word against theirs and I guess mine didn’t mean much. That detective literally told me to my face that the guy seemed like a nice guy. My dad found out about it when I got upset and mentioned it. Then I mentioned him not protecting me when my uncle did what he did. My mom didn’t even tell him. He was shocked, but he believed me cause of the stories my mom told him about when she was younger. So they both knew what he was capable of and yet I still wasn’t protected. I’m 31 now and my mom is legally blind and can’t walk well. She’s been strong in defending the fact that she doesn’t remember what her brother did to me. She even once said to my aunt as far as she’s concerned it didn’t happen. She has no empathy at all for me. I have been struggling mentally for years cause of it. I’ve chosen a lot of wrong men cause of it. I wish I had a mom on my side to go to. I’ve been deemed the problem child in the family because of my destroyed relationship with my mother. According to them everything is my fault. I’m sorry for the long ass story. I’m just tired and I really hope no one has to ever end up being a “Kimberly”. It sucks.
what's crazy is that tyler perry can only write a rich black character that doesn't suffer as long as it's him playing the character (kimberly being one of many examples)
I thank God, for the little bit of anger issues I have them flames comes clutch… I’m the “rich auntie” but I have zero qualms telling anyone off or cutting contacts if you’re feeling very entitled or manipulative
I love all discourse on Toni from Girlfriends because, at some point, people are like, "Well, she actually wasn't asking for much". Very much enjoyed this video and, your opinions!
i hate when they do this trope so much because its exactly how the rest of my family treat my household when we're not even rich. we just dont do drugs and work. the entitlement drives me crazy, why would i give my last cent to someone not working just because theyre family
Can you do one on well-off black professional women in general?lol i jus watched Something New again and was so floored at how they portrayed her as a personalityless schrew. lol i was like this is hella projection.
wow i am so happy you made a video of this, especially the last video. I can relate as the "second mom" situation. You honesly opened my eyes to the character in the madea movie, I really thought she was the antagonist in the movie, when I originally watched it
Thank you for this video. I’m in this category. I had to be the atm, revolving credit but get a little of my money back designated person. Btw I am the oldest and only girl. Few of my relatives were making more than me and I bailed them out. I grew tired and said that I was not giving my money to unappreciated people anymore. Especially when I had to take an income loss and my vehicle was constantly in the shop (due to a relative draining my electricity and battery without my consent). Also my money has been stolen and job prank was done to me in which I had to spend more money (a long story with that situation). The funny thing is when I was down, I was mocked. The same leeches called me irresponsible and a failure. I learned then that I have to look out for myself.
@@courtttttttyes I am and NEVER again!!!!! To me, I feel that need to get a job, budget better or both. It’s not my responsibility to pay another competent adult’s bill so he/she can maintain this facade as if they got it.
Cocoa, this video was right on time. As the eldest daughter, I have always felt the pressure to be successful and provide for my family, even if they are capable of taking care of themselves. The conditioning of BW to take care of others ALWAYS, even at the expense of our own well-being is sickening and tiring
I can't stand any of those movies because they're only about abusing and gaslighting bw, so that her 'family' and the so-called 'community can continue to drain her resources, i.e. time, money, etc. The irony is that as much as bw are often called masculine, the 'community' LOVES keeping her in that position, since it knows that bm to a huge degree aren't bothered.
Honestly, when I was a kid I remembered thinking that the portrayal of the daughters in soul food was ahead of its time, especially given how stereotypical black people were portrayed in older works. Now with my big age I can see that this caused more cliches in how women are written. And don't get me started on how this teaches the audience to vilify ambition in women of color
This is great example of why sometime going no contact is the best for your peace
Exactly. Show up on the day, make sure they don't have your phone number, make sure they don't know your address.
Yes cause that whole "for the family" thing brought me to a place of mental health issues that I couldn't pin point of where the cause was
Works for me !
So who gon' be on your emergency contacts? lol. None of what happened in these movies is grounds for emancipation, lol.
@@tkm1875 Really. So you think people who ask you for every single thing are worthy of trust in emergency situations?
God forbid a BW rise above their circumstances to become successful. I don’t like the way they were portrayed and used in films and IRL.
Facts
Facts exactly 💯
Right
I always hated the way Shirley tried to play victim, crying about how Kimberly treated her. Ma’am, she was raped and impregnated at 14 and you did NOTHING about it! You protected the predator, then further tortured her by raising the baby, reminding her of her trauma day after day! Shirley deserved every ounce of that anger!
I completely agree. Mrs. Shirley created the cold, bitter Kimberly. She didn't even pull Kimberly to the side and ask her how she was doing. You know your adult daughter is suffering bc of a childhood trauma. It never goes away. You didn't think in reality, that someone in that town didn't remember 14 year old Kimberly being pregnant? You know people gossip. Someone messy asked Byron did he ever hear about what happened to his sister's baby? Then someone else would have been like, it's crazy that your mama had a baby around the same time your sister allegedly did. I didn't like this at all.
I felt so bad for Kimberly 😢
You need to remember that back then the old school thought that was what was best for everybody including the child and grand baby. They didn’t have the education or social awareness that we have. We’re very fortunate to be so evolved. The Big Mamas believed babies were a blessing no matter what and were doing what they thought was right under God by raising the baby under any circumstances so their child could live their life. Be empathetic.
Kind of harsh to say she tortured her. The man that raped her should've been severely punished, but the kid didn't ask to be born. What else was supposed to happen to the child if he wasn't raised by the grandmother?
@AshleyMagnolia_ You can still point out how harsh and evil it is to disregard the assaulted child. People in the past used to abandon disabled kids, put women who needed support in mental asylums etc. It was never right and we are allowed to critique them in favor or recognizing how awful that accepted behavior was.
I have more empathy for the child who was forced to bear a kid from rape than anything. That still happens to this day and it's disgusting.
rich auntie here. i'm tapped out...i've heard "she think she better than everybody else" when I have been more than accommodating. then when I set boundaries, I am rude and arrogant.
Hey rich auntie lol. Glad you set boundaries & people always get upset when you don’t do what they want you to do smh. But good for you.
It's because you are better than everyone else. Let's call a spade a spade. You're probably living, eating, dressing and traveling better. Please enjoy the comforts your money can buy with no guilt.
Auntie lemme hold sumn
They hate your boundaries because they just want to continually have access to you unrestricted so they can freely abuse you and use you. Hate entitled families. I was a literal slave to my family, I was their servant, made to be a beast of burden and not allowed to be soft or even practice self care. I left at 18 and NEVER looked back!! Free living a soft life, I don't open doors or pay any bills and have my own little hustles making money and taking care of myself, am free from being a slave.
Recovering rich auntie here and the answer is no now
#JusticeforTerri because why did her mama have her paying for EVERYTHING meanwhile she got all her money stashed away in a TV instead of an interest-bearing saving account 😂
HELLO?? I'm sayin' Like you know daggone well you're wrong for having your daughter paying for everything without so much as a contribution from your tv money
Soul Food had me all messed up with how they did Terri. She was the only sane and smart one in the family.
@@CocoaCosmosOfficial Imagine if Soul Food was given a realistic ending instead of the Happily Ever After take.
I would be PISSED if I was Terry.
Her MOTHER left her out to dry so she could pay for the whole family!
And on top of that, had to deal with not only her sister stealing her boyfriend but her cousin sleeping with her husband. And made her seem like she was overreacting for being upset, she deserved a better family fr.
THISSSS
I hate how black women who have money are Vilanized bc they don't deal with nonsense. Yes there are some evil women out here but just bc they have money and are not living up to someone else standard on THIER life doesn't make them bad or that they abandoned the family
She likely would have been better off abandoning the family and finding some guy with no other hobbies besides work and maybe eating out. I doubt she would ask for much else at that point (based on the writing).
Right
The way Kimberly's trauma was revealed in big happy family never sat right with me. Tammy was d3ad wrong .
And the fact she did it as a way to knock her down a peg. Like what’s wrong with her??
That still makes my blood boil
Kimberly might’ve been a bitch, but Tammy had no right to put her on blast like that. Even Madea called Tammy out
I said the same thing in a comment on a vid on Tik Tok and everyone over there was like it was necessary and needed to be told. Had me thinking I was crazy
It’s the typical Tyler Perry formula, I think Tyler was jealous of the well to do Blacks and just painted them in a horrible unlikable way.
I hate the writing (except This Christmas) of these successful, independent women as they are being leeched from by “family” don’t actually care about the wealthy sister’s wellbeing. “That job won’t keep you warm” line is annoying because all this money can buy me a weighted blanket. Plus unhealthy relationships with ungrateful mooches would make anyone frustrated and miserable to be around them.
My favorite sister was on this Christmas. I wanted to be like her when I seen the movie.
When I *saw the movie.
Never saw this movie, but all of this!! I hate how the rest of the family feels entitled to the fruits of the independent sister's labor!
It was too much like soul food in that sense
And now that I remember correctly unhealthy relationships make your health fail fast.
My heart broke for Teri. Her family used her so much, shamed her, and then got angry when she tried to hold them accountable 🙄. I wish she just left and never came back.
me too
But also, let’s not pretend that Teri’s attitude was the best. Homegirl was on husband number two for a reason, I’m sure. I understand her anger, but she held onto her career and her degree as a means to act above everybody. She was unsupportive in Miles’ love for music, telling him (who was a successful lawyer just as she was) that only a certain portion of his money is in their joint account and he can’t use it, and bragged about how she graduated from law school while Maxine dropped out of college at 19 when all Maxine stated was that their mother would want them to continue their family tradition of Sunday dinner. I’m not saying she had a right to be cheated on or didn’t have a right to be angry, but her payment of things and her degree didn’t warrant a lot of her actions.
Me too
@@goldengarnetdid you want her to stay in a marriage if it wasn’t making her happy
@@gamuiceyt01 didn’t say that at all, but my point still stands.
How maxine had money for an attorney for cease and desist but couldn't help with taxes.
BINGO
Amen!👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
I liked Max but she was the secrete villain of that movie. Took her man and constantly took jabs while always needing money.
@@phatboybright I hated Maxine. She irritated me more than anybody. The scene where Terri catches Max and Kenny in the car, you can see Maxine smiling, like she's enjoying hurting and embarrassing her sister. Kenny laughed too. That never sat right with me. Nobody cared about Terri's feelings and it was played for laughs.
Makes me wonder if Maxy had some side businesses going on 🤔😏
I've had a family member use my sexual assault as a "gotcha" moment as if it was a character flaw that needed to be "exposed" because I acted like I was "too good for them." I've never forgot it. The lengths that insecure people will go through to hurt you when your very presence makes them feel small is so despicable.
SMH I'm so sorry you experienced that but I'm glad you have the self esteem to know you deserve better.
That's a vile and low disgusting thing to do! Only a wicked person would rub an SA into someone's face! I wish you happiness & healing!🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
OMG! I absolutely despise my mother just because she does the same thing: taking something very personal to me that she knows is an insecurity and trying to have a gotcha moment. Just despicable. These type of people should not waste our time; as you said, their insecure themselves
I am sorry you went through that. SA is a violation to anyone. No one deserves to be harmed in that way. No one should ever discuss anyone else's moment publicly. It didn't happen to them. That's inexcusable behavior. I would no longer talk or associate with that family member.
Omg that's so cruel
Im glad somebody said it. The other day i was like why does the rich black person have a negative archetype
This is always the case!!!
They're not black. All of these characters are mixed. 😁
@@TheLovesnowangelthe actresses may be mixed but the characters are not mixed
@@kusuoken5687 And only Sharon Leal is mixed. Vanessa Williams and Shannon Kane are light skinned Black women.
@@CeliniacForLife - hate to be that guy but. While Vanessa identifies as black. She did her DNA breakdown and she’s 50% African 50% European. She’s mixed
The "unfriendly black hottie" trope in movies but they ignore the racism that got them there would be interesting. Bring It On comes to mind
Oooh, you made a true statement there. 💯💯👏🏼👏🏼
Terry is a cautionary tale of what happens when you don’t set proper boundaries. I also low key think Terry doesn’t have the same daddy as the rest of them.
She did. I guess many people talked about it so much. They discussed it on the tv series. Terry was light and looked just like their daddy. Terry even talked about how she felt insecure. She envied her sisters because they looked like her mother. Their mother reassured her she was beautiful and that she should admire that she took after her father.
There’s a picture of the parents in souls food.
The father was a light skin man.
Like Terry
Facts! I was once a people pleaser who lacked boundaries.
Terri was only light skin because Vanessa Williams got the role. I've heard that Whitney Houston and Vivica Fox were considered or auditioned for the part. Terri wasn't intentionally casted for a biracial actress to imply she had a different daddy, jmo. 🤷🏽♀
The fact that Shirley was okay with letting everyone in the family think that her 12-13 yr old daughter was sleeping around is still crazy to me. Even said out of her own mouth “i dont know why she hates me” and still apologized on her death bed cause she knew exactly what was wrong the whole time🙄I would’ve liked that movie if Shirley actually died alone without her children there to comfort her. She got the stressful life that she deserved
I would have liked if Kimberly would have confronted everyone at the table instead of leaving. She should have told Tammy that she didn't know what it felt like to be SA, pregnant from the attack, and by someone in the family. An uncle should have been protecting you from people like that. That would have been the moment to ask her mama, why she acted like it never happened. As for Calvin, she could have just told him then like she did in the end. She was too ashamed to talk about it and was afraid to tell him.
@@danabenson4125 ikr they did Kimberly wrong it’s disgusting
In real life, it is a painful existence. Somehow, you are labeled “evil” or “selfish,” despite helping everyone the most. Also, no one returns the favor, so you never catch a break; you always have to have enough to take care of all your needs and the next family emergency. Eventually, if you are smart, you learn to stay away to protect yourself. It’s a lonely and draining experience. Thanks for the video.
Yes. when I say NO I’m suddenly the bad guy,but nobody remembers the 1,000 times I said yes…. To my own detriment
Exactly how I feel. You do so much for people but they never appreciate it. So I stay at a distance. And yes, you’ll always get scapegoated no matter what you do
Just cut ties and straight up change your number at that point. Don't give yourself the chance to even say no in the first place.
"A mother knows" that scene is the epitome of the babying some of these matriachs do for these boys, only for them to grow up and blame women for all the mess they put themselved into. Aaaabsolutely not. Im so glad to see younger people are learning that boundaries (even with toxic family members) is not wrong.
Right. I’m so tired of them coddling them
I love this video. As the "rich" auntie/cousin I will say that they only ask for what you allow. I opened my wallet up to everyone and they took took took until I put a stop to it. I have a millionaire male cousin who nobody asks for anything and people always says oh he has a wife and kids and employees, don't ask him for nothing. The same is never afforded to the women/girls in the family. Partially it's our fault for always being so maternal towards everyone in the family but also our families fault for culturing us that way.
THIS. I just relocated to be near family for a few reasons, and they are astonished at how easily "no" comes from my mouth. These same people know my situation and the specific reason I'm temporarily local, yet they still only see a new female body to be used for their (often poorly thought out) antics. Magically, they figure it out themselves after my refusal.
I witnessed them drain the other free or paid women in our family and refuse to be next in line. I have priorities that will be respected. These requestes are always things that they can reslove with even a bit of effort or logic, so I don't feel bad about turning them down. The boundary is working well so far!
Ask them for money before they ask you. That shuts them off
I watched a compilation of “Why I am no longer sending money back to Africa” and it was ALL women being robbed by ungrateful tools! And then some people in the comment section had the audacity to say “WOMEN” were ungrateful and cannot be providers. They’re sick and tired of BEING providers for 8 people back home cause the men aren’t sending back a cent!
your comment is very balanced..I say it as the "rich" sister in the family.
Tammy was so wrong for saying that to her sister 😢 because it's not like she just laid down, had a child and decided to just abandon him. She was literally r4p3d as a minor. It wasn't her fault the family were too pwssy to just tell the truth to Byron
Tammy had so much hate in her heart
I am not sure if Tammy knew it was rape
I don't think the family knew about what happened to Kimbery. Madea revealed the truth to everyone about what happened near the end of the film. Which is why Kimberly has a bitter attitude the most of the film. Probably after what happened growing up the in family as well. Which made the siblings (mostly Tammy) assume that she was too good for them.
@@jasminetaylor9678❤
My sexual trauma was used against me as a teen when I was crying for help. Then, everyone was looking around like "why is she trying to off herself?" Later, when I went off to school and started making money/distancing myself from the family members that assaulted me, I was treated as though I was acting like I was better than everybody else.
I was literally told "you ain't no angel, either" as a 12 year old who was m*l*st*d by multiple family members in the church. I was later r*p*d by non- family members, but just the fact that family tried to victim blame was insane. My parents fought very hard for my treatment because they were VERY OBVIOUSLY left in the dark by the parents whose children/teens were responsible for the SA that went on for years.
You just have to love from afar.
I'm sorry that this happened to you!
A similar situation happened to Toni Braxton. Baby face record label chose only Toni and not her sisters so their mom guilt tripped Toni into helping her sisters out in the entertainment industry and I’m sure that can lead to resentment. Toni’s the rich one in her family.
Evelyn Braxton is an evil prude. The show only showed a fraction of how difficult that woman is
OMG I was just thinking this
@@novalove4790 wow really?
Exactly 👏🏼💯
Toni is not rich. Tamar was the richest until her divorce.
I always wondered what soul food would’ve been like if Ahmad were a girl. Girls tend to be exposed to dynamics in the family that boys are sheltered from.
Also as an adult I now believe Terry always seemed to resent Miles because he could pursue his passion and she doesn’t have that luxury of just giving up her job because she’s the financial backbone of her family.
Ahmad as a girl is in _Eve’s Bayou_
I believe Terry had to be just like the video stated, the one who made the sacrifices. She was engaged to Kenny but lost him to her sister. She gets Miles but loses him to music. She felt like ignoring her own needs and desires built stability in her life. It reality, it emotionally damaged her.
@@danabenson4125Kenny and Teri weren’t engaged, they were just dating.
@@goldengarnet I can't remember but I could of swore on the Soul Food Tv show, they said they were engaged.
As a working adult who does okay, the biggest misconception these movie paint in people’s minds is that one family member going to college and making above minimum wage can support an entire extended family. That was maybe true after WWII, but hasn’t been the case since before Ronald Reagan.
Now, we often come out of college with student loan debt the equivalent of a mortgage, are often struggling in the for years beginning, working in environments where there are so few of us that we don’t fit in the corporate world or the streets, and we also have bills to pay!
These movies do not show an accurate depiction of unemployed, working poor, lower-middle-, middle-middle-, and upper-middle class individuals across an entire black family. Instead, they mark one working black woman in the family as the source of the writer’s and director’s grievances about the potential upward mobility and education of black women.
Being the oldest girl in my family, I noticed the overarching theme in all these movies and my own life are that they're the oldest girl. We're made to "mother" our siblings without calling it that. We end up adults that are hyper-responsible and chronic overachievers because we dont know any other way to be in life but that way. We are held accountable for our siblings and parents failures, even at a young age we are depended on heavily for meeting the parental and emotional needs of everyone in the house especially in the event both parents are at work or to support our single parent easing their emotional burdens. We also have to bounce back quickly on our own when we fall. There is a learned heroism here because no one will or understand we need them to be there for us to depend on when we should have the family helping us like we helped them.
My husband and I are the oldest in our families. It’s a blessing to be the responsible, resourceful one but it can be exhausting. Family think just because we’re the successful ones we should provide for everyone. Who can we run to if our world crumbles? Since we have similar backgrounds with our individual family, we make sure to treat ourselves ( put us on the priority list). We had to create boundaries with extended family so we can focus on our household.
i remember i got sick & needed surgery & was therefore not working….my BROTHER said to me: “you used to be the most successful one. you have TWO degrees. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?”
i learned THEN i was not a HUMAN to my biological family. but a MACHINE. the oldest child, especially the Black girl, you’re right, we’re NOT seen as a person w/ feelings. or allowed to “fail” or “need help” smh
These films taught me that family ain't s**t unless they prove that they are.
I've cussed out and cut off about 1/3 of my relatives and my life is so much more peaceful than the family members who feel like they have to "play nice" and "keep the peace".
F all that. Who is the peace being kept for? The aggressor. Who benefits from never being held accountable? The aggressor.
Black aunties - please tell your triflin' family to kiss your ass and go no contact. Build your family with people you choose who love and support you with loyalty and respect. You deserve.
So true. Why does the victim have to “keep the peace” when they didn’t disturb the peace?
@CocoaCosmosOfficial if less people "kept the peace" the aggressors would feel a lot less comfortable disturbing other's peace. Call 'em out!
Tammy herself thinks her children aren't well behaved but kimberly thinking the same thing is a problem to her ego so much so, that you have to take a "dig" at her because you "actually raise your boys" and shirley saying she doesn't know why kimberly treats her that way will never NOT upset my soullll!!!!!! You knew what happened to her! You mean to tell me you don't think being SA'ed and giving birth to a child while you're a child yourself will make you hate everybody!!!!/
I will never forgive Tammy for that. That was a LOW 9TH CIRCLE OF HELL BLOW
I'm not rich, just a middle-class professional, but my sisters and mother have been counting my coins for decades! 😠😏😒😡
YES! The rich sister has to have SOLID boundaries and a balance of good therapy. Great topic!
Seems like the more successful sister or family member gets volunteered to become the provider for the family and god forbid they set boundaries and say no they get labeled as a horrible sister, child, or family member when actually the less successful family members are users
Also being called selfish and inconsiderate, and “needing to be humbled”
#JusticeforTerry I don't think Terry even wanted to be married. But no matter how successful a woman is, family will manage to still shame you if you aren't married with children.
And Maxine ain't bout nothing, taking your sister's boyfriend, and still in Maxine's pockets, the nerve.
Justice for Terri!!
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
black women work so damn hard and rise above the worst circumstances. i support any black woman who chooses herself, her empowerment. all else can eat dust.
Our community often vilifies successful black women. It’s even worse if they’re single and childfree. More often than not, women are seen as a commodity to be utilized and not a person. Her time, labor, and money is seen as being wasted if she is the only one benefitting from her work. Her generosity is expected. This breeds a feeling of entitlement amongst her family. Whatever she gives is not enough. Any boundaries make her a villain. She is seen as being “Out of touch” or “Snobby” if she is anything more than a doormat and an open purse.
Preach 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
"She says the things you hate to hear and she always has your back". People think we're haters but really we want people to see that they deserve better.
What always irritated me about ‘Big Happy Family’ was the lack of closure between Kimberley and Byron. You’d think Byron would have a million questions or would at least want to know why things went down the way they did. Madea should’ve given Tammy the same treatment she gave those hellion children, maybe she would’ve straightened up too.
That’s so true. I wish they would’ve at least had a sit down discussion or something but it was just kinda let go.
As a kid it bothered me how Terry was treated...but how the successful sis is treated starts early when your family see you have your head on right. At least for me it did. Been fighting for my life to keep boundaries....
I hated soul food as a kid because I knew they did her wrong so I know as grown people they knew she had the short end of the stick. Haven’t watched since the 90’s 😂
The movie definitely made me mad , to know that these dynamics are happening worldwide and i can’t do nothing about it
Girl same. I was in high school when the movie came out and we went to see it at the theater. I was feeling a type of way when the movie ended. I haven't watched it since. And they had the nerve to give that movie a tv show? I hope they did better by Terri in the tv show than they did in the movie. I was with Terri when she said "fuck the family". The family was trash. Terri should've cut her family off and paid them dust. Truthfully, she should've been done with those people when she went to college. Maxine got off way to light for what she did and Kenny wasn't shit. I think he just wanted to have both sisters. I can go on and on about what pissed me off about that movie. 😂🙄 I'm just glad people are now realizing that Terri was not the villain the movie made her out to be.
Soul Food has to be the most aggravating movie I've ever watched. How they treated Terri was AWFUL!!!!! Literally none of them ever considered her feelings! BIRD AND HER good for nothing husband PISSED ME OFF!!! 1st, Terri paid for their wedding! 2nd paid for her salon! 3rd when birds husband literally came in their bought to out his hands on her. Hell yea I would've called my cousins on him tf!! Then he wants to sit at the dinner table BLAMING Terri bc he gotta temper. When she's the ONE WHO BAILED HIM OUT! THE NERVE!! Then Bird ass to tell her to mind her business. I would've said GLADLY DONT ASK ME FOR A DAMN THING!!!!! then faith at the table playing victim. ughhhhh the audacity of EVERYONE!!! They were all jealous of her beauty and success.
Like at least she got his ass out when she realized it was a misunderstanding and they wanna be hateful about it. People thought he put hands on her. I’m very much getting it handled if it was my sister. Shouldn’t have been tearing up stuff if you don’t wanna deal with consequences
I used to hate Kimberly as a child until I got older and realized that she is just like me when it comes to my sa except for the pregnancy resulted if that, I empathize with her.
Sorry you went through that experience I hope you’re well and healed 🙏🏾
@@kiss101love thank you 😊
I totally understand why Kimberly was so angry because of her unresolved trauma from her childhood she had every right to be angry with her mother unfortunately i know this very well from my own childhood i don't think her mother got her help when she was younger of the three kelli is my favorite love her for speaking the truth
The audacity of Maxine saying Miles after sneaking around with her sister boyfriend took me out....like gurl STOP IT ..
I hated Maxine in that movie. High key, low key, she was the real villain imo.
I love the rich auntie/sister Diahann Carroll Dominique Deveraux was my idol. They’re always beautiful child free and happier then the other siblings or relative.
I love Diahann Carroll! She’s absolutely my role model! ❤
Yeesss childfree icons!
🙄 here we go with this childfree crap. I don't get this weird hate towards kids that grown people have these days. Being childfree doesn't make someone happier. Insanely annoying how you guys indicate people with kids are always miserable. When I know people without kids that are fucking bitter. You people always bring up being childless in every conversation about anything.its beyond irritating.
@@Las645 you must have kids you regret having 😂😂
@@Las645 . Not wanting kids and hating children is not the same thing. Your acting so butt for no reason. Sounds like your the bitter one. Looking at stats women without kids live longer and they have more money to spend instead of using it for brats. I’m not sure who “you people” are considering I’m only one person and do not represent the majority but considering this is a video about rich black women yes I brought up no children because it’s a common denominator. I’m only 19 and my eggs probably aren’t fully cooked so who knows if I’ll have kids in the future but bitter people such as yourself who complain when others express there admiration for a lifestyle are enough negative energy for me to keep the birth control on lock.
Terri would have out grew Kenny so maxine did her a solid
You're right. Terry would have wanted a career first, but would have struggled with Kenny. Next, Kenny would have been pressuring her to have kids and that would have been the beginning to the end for them.
True, but that line still shouldn't have ever been crossed imo. I still think Kenny just wanted to have his cake and eat it too. I think he just wanted both sisters, he was attracted to them both. I don't buy the "he fell in love with Maxine at first sight" narrative because why didn't he break it off with Terri? It ended cause Max and Kenny got caught, if he could've kept dating them both he would've imo. The writer's tried to sell it as a love story that they fell in love at first sight, but I don't buy it. Max was jealous and wanted what her sister had and Kenny was a fuckboy, period. 🤷🏽♀
I was adopted at 3 months by ..... "the well off sister" and her husband. And can you believe, Her nieces' HATED me for it? Like it's my fault, They adopted me and provided for me. And the nieces always referred to me as the "Rich Cousin". After all these years, I now realize they were being salty on the sly, callin me that. And no we don't speak now. When my parents died, I was shut completely out. But it's their loss.
This is my life…straight out of a movie. I have been the ATM for the last 10 years and now at 37, I have put my foot down and everyone is showing their true colors. Yeah you only call me when you want something and if I don’t reach out I would never hear from you again. Well the door is to the left and I’ll see you at mine or yours funeral.
This is my family’s dynamic. I don’t go back home like i used to & the only time i heard from them is when i reach out first. I haven’t heard from some of them in years.
I hate how Tyler Perry films always villainize rich black woman and make their trauma seem like a not big deal compared to helping their family. Growing up is realizing how wrong this people families was for treating these women like this.
To add, they say " mind your business" but everything is their busines financially. They'd mind their own business if they had 0 to do with it. And on top of that, family is being used as an excuse to telerate poor behavior and abuse. It'a the reality of it all. They are britter and resentful, so they come off cold, but they still care die to the fact that they help their family financially and also try to give them tough love pep talk. This was a great video, i enjoyed it. Makes me think of myself. I can see the resemblense in the names too.
Not to mention eldest daughters are always more responsible, better at managing finances, and more well-rounded because we have to grow up fast. A 25-year-old black woman probably has the life experiences and skills of a 50-year-old average man/woman. This is exactly why I don't get the outrage when BW date older or make "older adult decisions" because they have already lived 9 adult lives ahead of schedule of their peers
For Teri’s situation…no way could I speak to my sister. Even though her ex (now sister’s husband) is trifling…but it’s bigger than him. She chose to be with her sister’s ex boyfriend. Idc how great of a wife or mother you are, you are lower than trash. Your morals are out of the window and will most definitely reap what you sow.
Max honestly irritated me more than Faith did. When Terri caught Maxine and Kenny in the car, the bitch was smiling about it, like she thought it was funny. Kenny laughed too when they were fighting. The way they enjoyed Terri's pain irritated me. Faith and Miles regretted what they did and I think Faith apologized.
I’m trying to get rich but its hard when everyone see you shining and they want some of that light. I don’t even respond when people ask me for money. I don’t ask for anything I can’t give back and that simple fact is what make me keeping me alive to thrive. The guilt trips don’t work on me, the emotional outburst don’t bother me; I have detached myself from people that can’t reciprocate. I will always support another women putting her education first and stay grounded.
SAME.
As rich auntie well as the obly one without children who does the estate managing and looking to the future: WHAT YOU ALLOW WILL CONTINUE. Only give out what you don't mind not getting back and always remind everyone to stand/set up their own. No one can take what you build and control. Kelly was the most gracious portrayal of rich auntie amongst these three; in the end all the animosity was an eldest daughter projecting that weight and her insecurities on someone else. Terry should've actually abandoned the family; move to a different city even if she still felt compelled to finance everyone at least she wouldn't have to eat Sunday dinners with her ex and unappreciative sisters. OBHF was just a hot mess from start to finish and gaslighty.
My family made me the “Rich Sister Archetype” but here’s the kicker… I’m not even rich! No one calls me unless they want something and if I say no (because I truly don’t have it) they treat me cruel and disrespectful. It’s very hurtful
“A career won’t keep you warm at night”. Momma, my career pays my bills which includes my blankets and heat. So yes, it will keep me warm at night 😂.
Ok so we all agree Faith’s routine was trash just like Sarah’s on Save the Last Dance? Also “damn the family” was funny.
Growing up is really realizing that Kimberly had her faults but she was never the “villain.” She was tortured for years & all that emotional trauma was just bottled up💔
In the dynamic of Lisa and Kelli I believe Lisa deserves more grace. While I was disgusted how Lisa catered and shrunk for a man who she too knew wasn’t crap we have to live in reality. We know wealth is in what you own the fact is they would’ve lost all their assets if nobody had stayed and helped. Lisa’s family is entitled and automatically thought she should stay and do everything (without thanks I might add) since she’s the oldest. Lisa suffered from oldest daughter syndrome. Kelli said “women do it everyday” but those women usually have support from their family not a sister who constantly is judgmental and makes snide remarks about her position in life juxtaposed to herself. JUSTICE FOR LISA!!!
That’s real. I said it in my final thoughts but I can’t stress enough that the only redeemable person in these families I spoke about was Lisa. She truly didn’t have much of a choice and was upset Kelli thought it was as simple as 123 to pack up and leave a man with two kids with only being a homemaker on her resume. It was unfair that she directed her bottled up emotions towards Kelli but she did apologize and admit she wasn’t right for that. For that reason, I give Lisa a small pass.
😢 I completely agree. Their oldest brother left before anyone, when he should have stayed to help, too. I feel bad for all families who go through this. You do the honorable thing but feel trapped. Everyone else gets to live out dreams and enjoy life.
Justice for Terri🗣️🗣️
I love how the comments show the people who ARENT addressed to help with other’s financial responsibilities.
I notice that all those rich sisters have a more Eurocentric appearance/pheno than the opposite sister does. Art imitating life where physical features determine who gets economic access way more (often) than any other factor.
In my headcannon, Terri spent like a year with her family after her mom’s death, couldn’t take it anymore especially after her cousin and husband sleeping together was looked over and just left and started traveling and having fun.
Tammy was just a jealous hefer tbh. Kimberly was the pretty sister with a lot of money and Tammy was the cooking sister who was closer to her mom. In general to use a sexual assault against someone in an argument shows her character and my happy ending to that movie is that she stayed around for the funeral then divorced her husband, gained custody of the child and seemed therapy and counseling for how her terrible family treated her. Lastly she made new friends and doesn’t see her family unless it’s for Christmas and Thanksgiving then eventually cuts them off to do Friendsgiving.
I always empathized with Terry. Even though i am the youngest, I was always the fiscally responsible one in the family. I was also always the single childless one. Everybody thought my money was family money even though I didn't make a lot of money...I was just good with what I had. Once I had that first child, I even tell my parents that if I have to choose I'm taking care of my children because they can't take care of themselves. Y'all will all be on the streets before I let them starve or go without basic necessities. They continue to make, into their late 70's early 80's, bad decisions. Smh
Black woman here 🙋🏾♀️but not black American. I feel this horrible portrayal of successful black woman or the protection of abusers for the sake of protecting the peace in the family is a recurring theme in black communities all over the world and I HATE it it to my guts
I used to not like Kimberly when I was younger but I remember the dinner scene and how Tammy threw that got pregnant at 13 but glossed over that she was r@ped by their uncle.
People try to treat me like the archetype irl and I’m not the one. Vanessa Williams in Soul Food really didn’t deserve the treatment cause she was single-handedly holding the fam down financially and even helping homeboy get jumped after she thought he put his hands on her sister
He only returned the Baby because he realized it's hard doing it on his own! 😅 loll
Bingo!
It's yet more humbling, unfortunately it's not unrealistic to have families feel those that are doing well need to do more to 'help', even though the 'need' for help is never ending, they also project their discomfort and paranoia by believing that they are being looked down on and that the one doing well needs to 'come down to earth' follow and live like them.
"No." is a complete sentence. The boundaries are set, and I owe no one a d**n thing.
I always wanted to be her, unbothered, high standards. There’s dignity in walking away from what does not serve you.
Pt 2 please!! I'm a dude but I literally empathize with the characters you spoke about. I've got some older cousins, and heard the way family speak about them, talking about they think they better, etc. like literally you can't be a well off black woman and just keep your head out the non sense without your own family crapping on you. Like they find things to pick on. Like one cousins literally a will paid biologist, married, debt free, living lovely in a giant house. And there are still aunt's like "well look at Miss too good to come around" , like I wonder why!
Great video. Yes "Rich Auntie" here. If you remain near the family, you sacrifice for the family and become second mom. Whether you move away or stay, you're expected to pay the bill and if you're in a relationship, your mate needs to understand these dynamics.
You're often viewed as difficult or think you're better than, but the truth is, you sacrifice for the family and often see little rewards until you stand up for yourself.
Thank you for making this video! As a kid I always wondered why Teri had a chip on her shoulder. No wonder, she was carrying that whole family on her shoulders and in her pockets!
Soul Food is such a good movie and honestly Terry had a sad life despite how financially successful she was. She was the oldest who often times is another parent to their siblings. Her first love became her sisters man. Never had children, All her family just thought she had an attitude but everyone depended on her..her husband wants to Persue his hobby while she pays the bills and ends up cheating on her with her niece or cousin in the midst of her mother dying…like that’s sad
I thank Goddess for these movies because they opened my eyes as a child. I saw how to I needed protect myself since I'd decided to be chilefree. So when I finished college, I *immediately* distanced myself by taking a job in a different country. I hope this next generation of women sets firm boundaries.
Lol I’m almost 26 and the rich sister because of my career and my partner is rich rich…chile I’m sick of my family. I live across the country and have never received a normal phone call it’s always about money. Since I was a child and they do me disrespectful asf
I consider myself so grateful that I was raised in a family (on both sides) who highly encourage and support the younger generation to be successful, not out of a need to benefit from their success, but to just feel pride in raising a successful child.
It's been heavily ingrained in us to not want/need from family, as it looks shameful on you being the older generation having to financially rely on the younger generation; like it says you were unable to properly do for yourself if you're reaching for others, especially those much younger. It's more expected for the parents and grandparents to gifted money to the young ones or help them if they're struggling, not the other way around.
My mind was blown when my boyfriend told me about his family's background/culture, where it was expected for the adults kids to help financially support their parents, to the point of the parents having some intrusive control over their money/income. His family members (like aunts and cousins) will constantly ask for handouts, and even steal on occasions cause "We're family and we should share".
I was completely dumbfounded by all this, cause actions (and even thoughts) like that were unthinkable in my family...
My mother would die of shame if she had to rely on her kids for money; she'd gladly accept gifts, but if she ever asked for a quick handout, she would be quick to pay us back, cause in her mind 'that's her kids' hard earned money, and we need/deserve it more than she does'. She's got her own, so why take from her children? (We, as her children, were taught the same: 'Don't rely on others financially, always have your own, and pay back what your owe'.)
i wish i had a family like yours 😭🤍
BABY TERIIIIII!!!!!!! I have ALWAYS SAID she was don’t dirty by her sister not just faith and miles but my SISTER????!!!!!!!
I love my family so much. We have a rich sister/aunt, she's respected and loved as all the other sisters/aunts, she does pay for a lot of things... for her elderly parents, her sisters, nephews and nieces deal with their own lives and responsibilities, and when someone has a problem and needs help, we don't expect the rich sister to take it upon her, if she does, THANK YOU, but it's not her circus not her monkeys, everyone helps because we love each other.
That is a big relief for me, because unless one of my beautiful, smart and amazing cousins make something really big in the future, all points that I will be the rich sister/aunt of my generation and seeing the example our elders created make me happy and honoured to be part of this family
This is how it should be. Not expected but appreciated. It means so much more that your family helps each other if and when they can and without solely relying on one person.
You are beyond blessed to thrive in a family which understands helping each other up and having each others backs. Many, many families are in turmoil because it is every-man-for-themselves. No vision.
I absolutely adore seeing beautiful women being successful and rich ugh ICONS!
This breakdown was important for me in a lot of ways. It resonates. Thanks for drawing attention to the seemingly “boujie” ladies perspective. In the end, it’s not about being boujie, but sincere work ethic and pushing forward, even when life is tough. The items are just the spoils of your labor. Next up, Tony Child’s please!…🤗💕😍
I am soooo glad you covered this because when I tell you that is how I always felt seeing, Soul Food!
Justice for Terri!!! I hated soul food bc of the way they treated her?? Like you’re my sister and fw someone I like and yet im supposed to be okay w that? BYEEEE
Facts on facts. Nobody paid for what they did to Terri. Everybody got their happily ever after BUT Terri. Max and Kenny married with kids, got to keep the house, Maxine pretty much got everything she wanted, Bird and Lem had a baby, Lem got his job back (thanks to Terri), Miles and Faith still able to come around and sit at the table with the family like nothing happened? WTF? And Terri is expected to show up every week and sit and talk and eat with these leeches and traitors like everything is good? Nah bruh, I wasn't feeling that ending at all. Justice for Terri!
No because the way this movie straight-up tried to gaslight us into thinking Kimberly was the villain and NOT Tammy. The fact that Tammy knew what happened to her and didn't say anyhing but made it look like she was just angry just because was insane. Tammy was also a terrible wife and mother. She's definitely one of those moms that won't discipline her kids but would get upset when someone else does. She was truly just mean and hateful for literally no reason. I'm glad you included this Madea movie but it still pisses me off so much.
Kelli didn’t mean Omar Epps’ character in the club. They went to high school together and he always had a crush on her.
You’re right but the only reason I didn’t count that as the meeting is because she didn’t technically meet him then because she never saw his face or spoke to him. He remembered her as like a love at first sight thing.
@@CocoaCosmosOfficial Ok. Gotcha.
@@cjwilliamsvi that's not omar epps lol that's mekhi Phifer he was also in soul food as lem he was skinny in that one
@@CocoaCosmosOfficialthat's mekhi Phifer lol she thought he was omar epps lol he was in soul food aswell
9:52 The nerve of Maxine, like she's never betrayed Terry.
Frrr because why did she look at Miles like that?? 😭😭
Mannnn I’m not quite sure why this popped up in my feed ..😏
But this was well needed. I love how it all was broken down
This all may be tmi and TW, but I feel I need to get my story out.
Although I don’t have kids, I am Kimberly. My mom’s older brother SA me when I was 14. As it turned out he did the same to my mom when she was even younger than I was. I had no idea until after it happened to me. No police were called. My mom asked him if he did it, he denied of course. “I don’t need her, I got a wife.” Is what he told my mom. She basically said okay and that was that. I lived in fear up until he died. My mom didn’t care nor bothered to get me any help. When I turned 26, I was SA again by someone I thought was cool. I went to the police, but it was my word against theirs and I guess mine didn’t mean much. That detective literally told me to my face that the guy seemed like a nice guy. My dad found out about it when I got upset and mentioned it. Then I mentioned him not protecting me when my uncle did what he did. My mom didn’t even tell him. He was shocked, but he believed me cause of the stories my mom told him about when she was younger. So they both knew what he was capable of and yet I still wasn’t protected. I’m 31 now and my mom is legally blind and can’t walk well. She’s been strong in defending the fact that she doesn’t remember what her brother did to me. She even once said to my aunt as far as she’s concerned it didn’t happen. She has no empathy at all for me. I have been struggling mentally for years cause of it. I’ve chosen a lot of wrong men cause of it. I wish I had a mom on my side to go to. I’ve been deemed the problem child in the family because of my destroyed relationship with my mother. According to them everything is my fault. I’m sorry for the long ass story. I’m just tired and I really hope no one has to ever end up being a “Kimberly”. It sucks.
I’m so sorry that happened to you.
what's crazy is that tyler perry can only write a rich black character that doesn't suffer as long as it's him playing the character (kimberly being one of many examples)
I thank God, for the little bit of anger issues I have them flames comes clutch… I’m the “rich auntie” but I have zero qualms telling anyone off or cutting contacts if you’re feeling very entitled or manipulative
I love all discourse on Toni from Girlfriends because, at some point, people are like, "Well, she actually wasn't asking for much". Very much enjoyed this video and, your opinions!
i hate when they do this trope so much because its exactly how the rest of my family treat my household when we're not even rich. we just dont do drugs and work. the entitlement drives me crazy, why would i give my last cent to someone not working just because theyre family
Can you do one on well-off black professional women in general?lol i jus watched Something New again and was so floored at how they portrayed her as a personalityless schrew. lol i was like this is hella projection.
Calvin's anger about a SECRET CHILD is justified and beyond.
Under these circumstances, no ❤️
Once you mentioned you were an only child, all your takes made sense 😂 I did appreciate the Thoughts portion of the video
Also, the characters in the Madea movie were underwritten....
wow i am so happy you made a video of this, especially the last video. I can relate as the "second mom" situation. You honesly opened my eyes to the character in the madea movie, I really thought she was the antagonist in the movie, when I originally watched it
Thank you for this video. I’m in this category. I had to be the atm, revolving credit but get a little of my money back designated person. Btw I am the oldest and only girl. Few of my relatives were making more than me and I bailed them out. I grew tired and said that I was not giving my money to unappreciated people anymore. Especially when I had to take an income loss and my vehicle was constantly in the shop (due to a relative draining my electricity and battery without my consent). Also my money has been stolen and job prank was done to me in which I had to spend more money (a long story with that situation). The funny thing is when I was down, I was mocked. The same leeches called me irresponsible and a failure. I learned then that I have to look out for myself.
I am sorry that you went through that you are right you have to look after yourself
@@angelaholmes8888 thank you
Are you doing better 😢
@@courtttttttyes I am and NEVER again!!!!! To me, I feel that need to get a job, budget better or both. It’s not my responsibility to pay another competent adult’s bill so he/she can maintain this facade as if they got it.
Cocoa, this video was right on time. As the eldest daughter, I have always felt the pressure to be successful and provide for my family, even if they are capable of taking care of themselves. The conditioning of BW to take care of others ALWAYS, even at the expense of our own well-being is sickening and tiring
They are also lighter skinned and have European beauty standard aligning looks....
Stop this
I can't stand any of those movies because they're only about abusing and gaslighting bw, so that her 'family' and the so-called 'community can continue to drain her resources, i.e. time, money, etc. The irony is that as much as bw are often called masculine, the 'community' LOVES keeping her in that position, since it knows that bm to a huge degree aren't bothered.
Facts
Honestly, when I was a kid I remembered thinking that the portrayal of the daughters in soul food was ahead of its time, especially given how stereotypical black people were portrayed in older works. Now with my big age I can see that this caused more cliches in how women are written. And don't get me started on how this teaches the audience to vilify ambition in women of color