Cruel Jaws (AKA Jaws 5): Bad Movie Review

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  • Опубликовано: 5 янв 2025

Комментарии • 228

  • @AROBASPARK
    @AROBASPARK 7 месяцев назад +62

    The fact you crack a laugh when saying "sleeping with the fishes" in regards to the mob putting a hit on the shark is priceless.

  • @VectorParallax
    @VectorParallax 7 месяцев назад +36

    I happen to have a friend with a degree in Marine Biology, who also used to make custom knives. I'll have to ask him if a shark is a Locomotive with a mouth full of butcher's knives. He'll know for sure.

  • @dngillikin
    @dngillikin 7 месяцев назад +37

    Of course, our favorite expert is the Dark Corners Science Advisor.
    Oh, expert in an actual movie . . . my favorite is Ian McDiarmid's forensic pathology professor in GORKY PARK. (Now, that's A recommendation you're not going to see everyday.)

  • @JCIce007
    @JCIce007 7 месяцев назад +30

    Favorite movie expert: Tony Todd in Final Destination as the mortician who somehow knows all about how Death is an active force that goes after certain people it missed.

    • @christopherwall2121
      @christopherwall2121 7 месяцев назад +3

      I've always interpreted that character as Death's Mouth of Sauron, more than an actual human being

    • @TheRealNormanBates
      @TheRealNormanBates 7 месяцев назад +1

      @@christopherwall2121 "Well of _course_ I know him! He's _me!"_

  • @tskmaster3837
    @tskmaster3837 7 месяцев назад +9

    Cruel Jaws, a real masterclass in movie making.
    "Does the scene match? Does the day for night work? Does the stock footage and stolen footage fit, does the soundalike music work?"
    "Does it matter?"

  • @justinsheppherd1806
    @justinsheppherd1806 7 месяцев назад +27

    My favourite film experts are "Anyone in a 50's sf B-Movie who smokes a pipe", especially if they're in a Bert I Gordon movie, because they won't just explain what's going on, they'll also give you simple definitions of all the long words they use.

    • @atrendlecalledreese443
      @atrendlecalledreese443 7 месяцев назад +3

      And show you a bunch of tangentially related stock footage while providing the world's most redundant narration.

    • @varanid9
      @varanid9 7 месяцев назад +3

      @@atrendlecalledreese443 And they always just happen to have a nearby movie projector with said footage ready to go.

    • @BarryHart-xo1oy
      @BarryHart-xo1oy 7 месяцев назад +2

      Quite true.

    • @eriksieurin334
      @eriksieurin334 7 месяцев назад +1

      Yeah! I want to be one of those when I grow up!

  • @ianmcnulty799
    @ianmcnulty799 7 месяцев назад +35

    The best movie expert is the one from the Amazing Colossal Man, who explains that the human heart is just one cell.

    • @tuckerbowen4626
      @tuckerbowen4626 7 месяцев назад +1

      In all fairness, he was probably dumbing it WAAAAAY down

    • @tuckerbowen4626
      @tuckerbowen4626 7 месяцев назад +1

      In all fairness, he was probably dumbing it WAAAAAY down

    • @ajivins1
      @ajivins1 7 месяцев назад +3

      @@tuckerbowen4626 I heard you the first time!

    • @ashleys9397
      @ashleys9397 7 месяцев назад +1

      @@tuckerbowen4626 It's a Bert I. Gordon production. Like, what else would you expect?

    • @tuckerbowen4626
      @tuckerbowen4626 7 месяцев назад

      @@ajivins1 sorry, phone was having wifi problems

  • @grapeshot
    @grapeshot 7 месяцев назад +30

    That scene of those teenagers blowing their own self up on that boat. The direction must have been act as horribly as you possibly can.

    • @mmattson8947
      @mmattson8947 7 месяцев назад +8

      That has to be the next Jaws movie.
      The huge shark doesn’t attack any people, but the dozens of panicking townsfolk kill each other while trying to get the shark.

    • @joshuablack8221
      @joshuablack8221 7 месяцев назад +2

      “…blowing themselves up…”

    • @BarryHart-xo1oy
      @BarryHart-xo1oy 7 месяцев назад +2

      The sad thing is that this seems to be a copy of a scene from “Jaws Two”,when an older woman in a boat accidentally douses herself with gasoline and then lights herself (and the boat)on fire.

  • @chuckmesser2202
    @chuckmesser2202 7 месяцев назад +8

    The description "Locomotive with a mouth full of butcher knives" was lifted straight out of the book. It was Hooper describing Megalodon and its impressive size, if I remember correctly.

    • @BarryHart-xo1oy
      @BarryHart-xo1oy 7 месяцев назад

      Good to know.

    • @DarkCornersReviews
      @DarkCornersReviews  7 месяцев назад +4

      So it's not all Bruno Mattei's fault.

    • @Michelleabela5484
      @Michelleabela5484 7 месяцев назад

      ​@@DarkCornersReviewsruclips.net/video/Vg7eBNLkJNc/видео.htmlsi=X3MJpORTrGUHqBGR

  • @davebooshty299
    @davebooshty299 7 месяцев назад +4

    4:55 Looked like a Shot from Jaws 2 Followed up by a Shot from The Last Shark movies.

  • @grimesdaughter9042
    @grimesdaughter9042 7 месяцев назад +27

    "They are sort of locomotive."
    What? Did he mean they .....move?
    Non-native English speaker here, but since he doesn't say "like a locomotive", it sounds as if he were amazed that sharks don't remain in the same spot all the time. 😂 Which would kill them, btw.

    • @emmanuelwinner4149
      @emmanuelwinner4149 7 месяцев назад +5

      No, he meant they are licensed through Con-Rail.

    • @grimesdaughter9042
      @grimesdaughter9042 7 месяцев назад +3

      @@emmanuelwinner4149 Please explain that to a German person. 😄 Is that a railroad company?

    • @emmanuelwinner4149
      @emmanuelwinner4149 7 месяцев назад +2

      @@grimesdaughter9042 Yes.

    • @grimesdaughter9042
      @grimesdaughter9042 7 месяцев назад +5

      @@emmanuelwinner4149 Thanks, I am sure, the shark-train is always on time. Especially for lunch-break.

    • @reignfire85
      @reignfire85 7 месяцев назад +5

      I'm pretty sure the meaning of that description is to imitate Hooper in the first Jaws describing sharks very simply, just basic machines that swim and eat and breed. When this film says sharks "are a sort of locomotive," it's basically saying that they're just biological machines, moving from point A to B while munching on anything that gets in their path, similar to a train rolling on as a kind of basic and inexorable force. It really does go to show how mediocre some of the writing can be in these films when you encounter bizarre lines delivered with low charisma.

  • @raymondtillotson6985
    @raymondtillotson6985 7 месяцев назад +8

    It's been said that while the first Jaws movie kept people out of the water, its sequels (official and otherwise) kept them out of the theaters.

    • @BarryHart-xo1oy
      @BarryHart-xo1oy 7 месяцев назад

      I can believe that.

    • @TheRealNormanBates
      @TheRealNormanBates 7 месяцев назад

      *Jaws 2* made us much money if not more than the first. Doesn't mean it's _better,_ but they didn't stay out of the theaters.
      and then there was *Jaws 3-D.*

    • @jamstonjulian6947
      @jamstonjulian6947 7 месяцев назад

      ​@@TheRealNormanBatesJaws 2 made barely half what Jaws made

  • @markiangooley
    @markiangooley 7 месяцев назад +8

    They were considering the title Kind Jaws, but it just wasn’t working for them…

  • @jasonpratt5126
    @jasonpratt5126 7 месяцев назад +1

    Well, territoriality is a theory I happen to agree with, so just in case someone hasn't mentioned him yet already: Hooper from the original Jaws.

  • @kylepetersen9521
    @kylepetersen9521 7 месяцев назад +1

    I love the "Met him in Istanbul..." line! Cracks me up every time 🤣

    • @DarkCornersReviews
      @DarkCornersReviews  7 месяцев назад +2

      I'm glad someone liked that. It's a bit off the wall but it made me smile

  • @hughjass846
    @hughjass846 7 месяцев назад +11

    My favorite movie expert is Hooper from Jaws, because he believes in the shark territoriality theory.

    • @julietfischer5056
      @julietfischer5056 7 месяцев назад +1

      Even as recently as that, not a lot was known about sharks.

  • @amb163
    @amb163 7 месяцев назад +12

    I hear Star Wars. Where's the Star Wars? Is there not even a single Star War?
    Fave Movie Expert: Jeff Goldblum, in both Jurassic Park and Independence Day

  • @schumanhuman
    @schumanhuman 7 месяцев назад +7

    Michael Caine in 'The Swarm' is my favourite expert, turned out he was not so much an expert on stopping bees as he was at shouting, but an expert none the less.

    • @ajivins1
      @ajivins1 7 месяцев назад +1

      SHAHTIN!

    • @christopherwall2121
      @christopherwall2121 7 месяцев назад +2

      "But the bees has always been our friends until now"

  • @KravKernow
    @KravKernow 7 месяцев назад +6

    I always find the trope that a shark attack would be bad for business a bit hard to believe. I live in Cornwall. I guarantee you if someone got eaten by a shark down here the relevant beach would be heaving. Heck, we got all excited over a requiem shark.
    That lead to the best headline in the West Briton.
    "Scientists have dismissed claims of a great white shark off Cornwall, stating 'It's a different kind of man eating shark altogether'."

  • @l.a.gothro3999
    @l.a.gothro3999 7 месяцев назад +11

    I was so surprised to find out that Peter Benchley was the son of one of my favorite humorists/writers, Robert Benchley.

    • @willmfrank
      @willmfrank 7 месяцев назад +6

      Surprise! Peter was Robert's grandson.

    • @patriciadilday447
      @patriciadilday447 7 месяцев назад +4

      Well, I didn't know that they were related until just now.

    • @willmfrank
      @willmfrank 7 месяцев назад

      Surprise! 😃@@patriciadilday447

  • @brianmills5302
    @brianmills5302 7 месяцев назад +6

    The Horror Geek did this a few years ago. Two great reviews, two different styles. Great job!

    • @dngillikin
      @dngillikin 7 месяцев назад +3

      "Does anyone even remember Mike Bracken, the Horror Geek? Christ, I'm old."
      Of course we remember the Horror Geek and watch his vids. His channel's still going strong.

    • @brianmills5302
      @brianmills5302 7 месяцев назад +2

      @@dngillikin Heehee, "Hell, Yeah!"

    • @dngillikin
      @dngillikin 7 месяцев назад +2

      "Not like that, you pervs!"
      We'd better stop before someone references "Football practice!!!" or Lynda Day George.

    • @brianmills5302
      @brianmills5302 7 месяцев назад

      @@dngillikin "BASTARD!" Heehee...House establishing shot...

    • @brianmills5302
      @brianmills5302 7 месяцев назад

      @@dngillikin "BASTARD! BAASSSTTARRDDD!" House establishing shot...

  • @smacksalad
    @smacksalad 7 месяцев назад +4

    "The sea was angry that day, my friends!"

    • @bencousins7311
      @bencousins7311 7 месяцев назад +1

      much like a old man trying to return soup you might say?

  • @general1362
    @general1362 7 месяцев назад +1

    Superb. The deadpan, dry and matter-of-fact style of humor delivered with impecable timing make these reviews awesome!

  • @freakyzed8467
    @freakyzed8467 7 месяцев назад +3

    My favorite movie expert is the old guy from the press conference scene in Close Encounters Of The Third Kind who starts talking about Bigfoot at the meeting for UFOs.

  • @GleeChan
    @GleeChan 7 месяцев назад +6

    That shark wouldn't stand a chance if the Hulkster dropped the leg drop of doom on it.

    • @randybarnett2308
      @randybarnett2308 5 месяцев назад

      That's right Brother, you know the Hulkster rules!❤💪😂Dem Pythons Brother!❤💪🤡

  • @eriksieurin334
    @eriksieurin334 7 месяцев назад +1

    "Be careful! That shark has been trained by the navy!"

  • @andrewalderman9489
    @andrewalderman9489 7 месяцев назад +6

    The shark was trained by the navy.......of course, because ....... In the navy
    Come on, protect the mother land
    In the navy
    Come on and eat your fellow man
    In the navy
    Come on people, and make a stand
    In the navy, in the navy, in the navy

  • @TheRealNormanBates
    @TheRealNormanBates 7 месяцев назад

    2:11 that is _totally_ his voice too.
    as far as movie experts go, I would like to throw in Gene Barry from George Pal's *War of the Worlds.* He is both the action scientist protagonist _AND_ the science advisor!

  • @maplebob23
    @maplebob23 7 месяцев назад +16

    8:42 Sheer luck? It was in the script and that shark is a true professional and never misses his mark.

  • @leppeppel
    @leppeppel 7 месяцев назад +3

    Honestly, I'd watch a movie pitched as Romeo and Juliet and Jaws, especially if one (and only one) of the title characters is the shark.

  • @ThreadBomb
    @ThreadBomb 7 месяцев назад

    0:27 "This time it's even more personal than the last time." What an amazing tagline. It sounds like a parody!

  • @andrewparsons2391
    @andrewparsons2391 7 месяцев назад +7

    Does Hannibal Lecter from Silence of the Lambs count as an expert, since he isn't technically the actual monster/bad guy. His constant genuinely helpful advice sessions to Clarice is consistently the best part of the movie.

    • @ashleys9397
      @ashleys9397 7 месяцев назад

      Moreover, the inimitable Dr. Hannibal "Jaws" Lecter was working "pro bono". Not that he could be financially recompensed for his consultative service, given that he was a convicted imprisoned serial killer. 'Cause them's the rules, y'know.

  • @euansmith3699
    @euansmith3699 7 месяцев назад

    Seeing Suzie rolling down the quay really made me laugh.
    I like the idea of the shark being a leftover military project.
    Favourite Movie Expert: Benjamin Franklin Gates from the "National Treasure" franchise. He is even more plausible than the model of antiquarian rectitude, Robert Langdon, from the Dan Brown Franchise.

  • @kemmdog4444
    @kemmdog4444 7 месяцев назад +4

    “Paralyzed” Suzy was cured by almost being eaten by a shark.

  • @marcbergeron1750
    @marcbergeron1750 7 месяцев назад +1

    Best 'Expert' in a movie to help in plot development and exposition? OK I'LL BITE! 😆 1- Ash (Ian Holm) in 'Alien' in his 'perfect organism' monologue. After that the audience really gave the crew little chance to survive. 2- The Julian Sands character in 'Arachnophobia' and on the same level the Bird lady in Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds.' You know humanity is done for if these creatures unite 3- All the Russian mafia bosses in John Wick movies telling us why you shouldn't mess with John 'Baba Yaga' Wick ..and then do so anyway. 4- My latest addition these days is the Jeremy Irons character in 'The Beekeeper' who goes out of his way to tell people how you can't stop the beekeeper character (he's so badass) even as he's hiring them; like those JW Russian bosses warnings but only times ten! (Deltas..Seals..in other words Pussies!) COME TO THINK OF IT 🤔THESE EXPERTS ARE PRETTY MUCH ALL PESSIMISTS WHEN IT COMES TO ANSWERING THE QUESTION : WHAT ARE MY CHANCES? That's my five minutes. 🖖 PS I just added 'Cruel Jaws' to my watch later list.👍

  • @andrewyoung2796
    @andrewyoung2796 7 месяцев назад +2

    Favorite expert
    The SARGE
    '" The whole thing stinks of kickbacks'"

  • @l.a.gothro3999
    @l.a.gothro3999 7 месяцев назад +5

    I wanted to see "Jaws" when it first came out, but I was too young to see all that violence; I was 11 years old. Meantime, we lived in Detroit...

    • @willmfrank
      @willmfrank 7 месяцев назад +4

      "Mom can I go to see Jaws?"
      "What? All that predatory violence and dismemberment? No honey, we have that at home."
      "Your mother's right, son. You don't need to go to the theater; just look out the window."

  • @parisgreen4600
    @parisgreen4600 7 месяцев назад

    Movie: "Sharks are locomotives!"
    Dark Corners Science Advisor: "N-o-o-o-o".

  • @Bigbadwhitecracker
    @Bigbadwhitecracker 7 месяцев назад +4

    It comes down to one letter: Q. The Douglas Llewellyn version. He knows all about gadgits

    • @davidlionheart2438
      @davidlionheart2438 7 месяцев назад +1

      I believe you mean Desmond Llewelyn.

    • @dddglobe36
      @dddglobe36 7 месяцев назад +1

      Wasn’t Doug with Judge Wapner and the Peoples Court? Haha. I rather like that idea! 😂

  • @mareli9211
    @mareli9211 7 месяцев назад

    Favorite expert is Van Helsing by Sloan in 1931 Dracula. Best wig and thick spectacles, too.

  • @a.champagne6238
    @a.champagne6238 7 месяцев назад

    At least Jaws 4 gave us that classic Richard Jeni stand-up bit.

  • @nedludd7622
    @nedludd7622 7 месяцев назад +2

    There should be a movie about orcas attacking luxury yachts.

    • @DarkCornersReviews
      @DarkCornersReviews  7 месяцев назад +2

      There is the jaws inspired Orca. Not sure what he attacks

  • @stevenhandzel5929
    @stevenhandzel5929 7 месяцев назад +3

    There are actually three separate instances where characters threaten to rip someone’s balls off. I think that’s a record.

    • @ashleys9397
      @ashleys9397 7 месяцев назад +3

      Have you by any chance seen the incredible 2015 Turkish-made acid trip horror BASKIN? At least twice the police characters threaten to rip the balls off of presumed wrongdoers.

  • @jimnasium452
    @jimnasium452 7 месяцев назад +7

    The number of times I've ended a statement with, "And I have no reason to doubt it..." Can't think of one time it was right. 😬

  • @travisrygg3317
    @travisrygg3317 7 месяцев назад +3

    My favorite expert is Dr. Robert Hoak from Piranha; the ONLY best Jaws ripoff. He is like a cross between Hooper and Quint, but trying to make amends for what he has done.

  • @notshapedforsportivetricks2912
    @notshapedforsportivetricks2912 7 месяцев назад

    I dont know which line is better; sleeps with the fishes or gone to live on a farm.

  • @TerryAraguz
    @TerryAraguz 3 месяца назад

    “The seals are on to us!” lol

  • @alandhopewell
    @alandhopewell 7 месяцев назад +4

    Dr. Frank Baxter, who gave us such timely information at the start of THE MOLE PEOPLE.

    • @dngillikin
      @dngillikin 7 месяцев назад +3

      "Down . . . down . . . down into the Hollow Earth!"

  • @buzzawuzza3743
    @buzzawuzza3743 7 месяцев назад +1

    This cast was great. They didn't need Roy Schieder or Richard Dreyfus. And we have time to set up the celebration for the 30 year reunion in 2025. Get 'em all together again in one room to discuss the glory of this film.

  • @docthemetalfreak
    @docthemetalfreak 7 месяцев назад +1

    according to Space Ghost sharks explode to attract mates. too bad this movie missed out on mentioning that.

    • @dddglobe36
      @dddglobe36 7 месяцев назад +1

      Wasn’t there a bear wandering around in that one?! And Willie Nelson the guest? That would have added some excitement to the movie. 😅

  • @winternow2242
    @winternow2242 7 месяцев назад +1

    Doesn't this movie steal footage from "Great White", a Jaws ripoff from 1981?

  • @bostonrailfan2427
    @bostonrailfan2427 7 месяцев назад

    my favorite movie expert is…your dad, the DCR science consultant
    you never said it had to be an expert in a movie, your dad is an expert and he consults regarding movie science so i count it!

  • @TheDukeofMadness
    @TheDukeofMadness 7 месяцев назад

    It's not often a movie comes along that makes Tintorera look almost competent but Cruel Jaws did.

  • @RavenHouseMystery
    @RavenHouseMystery 7 месяцев назад

    Given the amount of stock footage from other films, I've often wondered if "Cruel Jaws" can even be classified as a film. As for my favorite scientific expert in film, that would be Dr. David West (played by Edward Judd) in "Island Of Terror" (1969). I can't think of any other film that features a "bone specialist" as a lead character, not to mention also being the romantic lead.

  • @darkchashy2663
    @darkchashy2663 7 месяцев назад

    Favorite movie expert. Whoever Jared Harris is playing.

  • @brianmills5302
    @brianmills5302 7 месяцев назад

    Favorite movie "experts"...the scientists in "Reptilicus"...😂😂😂

  • @kerstanszczepanski2604
    @kerstanszczepanski2604 7 месяцев назад

    My favorite expert is Dark Corners Dad!

  • @suedenim
    @suedenim 7 месяцев назад +1

    I'm always surprised by how several cheap Italian ripoffs were actually able to film in the US somehow.

  • @DamnedSilly
    @DamnedSilly 7 месяцев назад +3

    Poor guy's career took a real dive after 'Real Genius'. As for "Experts" I'd nominate Miki, the psychic girl from the Heisei Godzilla movies. Almost, but not quite, completely useless for anything other covering up plot holes. Definitely gets the Councilor Troi Award.

    • @grahamgreene779
      @grahamgreene779 7 месяцев назад

      Who's career took a dive after "Real Genuis?"
      Was someone involved in 'Real Genius' (a personal fav) also involved in Cruel Jaws? If so, who?

    • @DamnedSilly
      @DamnedSilly 7 месяцев назад

      @@grahamgreene779 Just a bad joke about how much Billy reminds me of Kent without the braces.

    • @grahamgreene779
      @grahamgreene779 7 месяцев назад

      @@DamnedSilly Gotcha, i could see that. Interestingly, the actor who played Kent (Robert Prescott) has done some pretty high profile stuff very occasionally, like have a decent sized part in Michael Clayton. Love all the characters in the ridiculously fun movie (Real Genius). Oddly enough, it was Mitch (Gabe Jarret) who really fell off the map afterwards - I can only remember him having what amounts to a cameo in Karate Kid part 3.

    • @marcbergeron1750
      @marcbergeron1750 7 месяцев назад

      Love her ears!

  • @JohnSmith-x8s5g
    @JohnSmith-x8s5g 7 месяцев назад

    1.) Existential Flirting. 2.) Why was that woman pouring gas on herself BEFORE the attack ?

  • @aaronaaronsen5976
    @aaronaaronsen5976 7 месяцев назад

    Honestly, I always heard the Jaws sequels were bad but I never imagined this. How could they let it happen?

  • @thrashpondopons8348
    @thrashpondopons8348 7 месяцев назад

    Maybe they could have used the Rats from 'RATS: Night of Terror' to devour the shark!

  • @thedtvdigest4142
    @thedtvdigest4142 7 месяцев назад +2

    movie experts? Oliver Platt in Lake Placid!

    • @KravKernow
      @KravKernow 7 месяцев назад +2

      "They hide information like that in books."

  • @l.a.gothro3999
    @l.a.gothro3999 7 месяцев назад +2

    Okay, taking a contract out on a shark sounds like it would've been mentioned on
    The Sopranos" in discussion of who would win: one of them or the shark.

  • @robotrix
    @robotrix 7 месяцев назад

    Deep Blue Sea came up with a new plot for shark movies - and people pretty much turn their noses up at those.

  • @marienbad2
    @marienbad2 7 месяцев назад +4

    Best Movie expert: The one in Glen or Glenda who explains about cross-dressing.

    • @ashleys9397
      @ashleys9397 7 месяцев назад +2

      And then there's Simon Oakland as the down-to-earth psychiatrist who, in the next-to-closing scene in Hitch's PSYCHO, helpfully explains the clinical meaning of transvestism to John Gavin & Vera Miles.

  • @gregevans6044
    @gregevans6044 7 месяцев назад

    Nice job, Robin! That was hilarious!

  • @skatemonk
    @skatemonk 7 месяцев назад

    Usually in Kaiju films (or most other budget sci-fi really), the first person to come up with a wildly unscientific theory for why something is happening is spot-on correct, and they just go from there.

  • @tomjohnson4922
    @tomjohnson4922 7 месяцев назад +1

    best movie experts? Hooper in Jaws, Van Helsing, and the psychiatrist in Psycho... oh and the Science Expert

  • @grapeshot
    @grapeshot 7 месяцев назад +3

    Yeah this is if Hulk Hogan ever opened up his own water park😂

    • @briancoulombe4517
      @briancoulombe4517 7 месяцев назад +1

      No giant shark is a match for those 24 inch pythons brother.

  • @grumpyoldwizard
    @grumpyoldwizard 7 месяцев назад

    It looks like Dr. Evil isn't the only character who has a "Mini-Me".

  • @bugajification
    @bugajification 7 месяцев назад

    Favourite movie expert is Dr Luten from the Vulture. And his ability to be in favour of island godess theory and still take the high ground on science

  • @dbsommers1
    @dbsommers1 7 месяцев назад

    Great turns of the phrase in this.

  • @DanDoty-i5n
    @DanDoty-i5n 7 месяцев назад

    Its Cicada season here in Pevely , Missouri. But back in the early 1900's around Saint Louis there a number of shark attacks in the Mississippi River. Right there I came up with a better plot then CRUEL JAWS. I bet this video spent the 80's and the 90's in the dollar bin at BLOCKBUSTERS.

  • @briancoulombe4517
    @briancoulombe4517 7 месяцев назад

    I know any movie featuring a shark is gonna get compared to Jaws, but some of these movies feel like they were required by LAW to rip off Jaws plot point for plot point.
    Like any attempt to shake up the formula was going to get someone put in prison.

  • @benderbendingrodriguez420
    @benderbendingrodriguez420 7 месяцев назад

    Surprised this one hasnt been covered already!

  • @raulcruz716
    @raulcruz716 7 месяцев назад +3

    Copyright lawyers back in those days must have been blind. Maybe they even went out at night in red tights.

    • @andrewgwilliam4831
      @andrewgwilliam4831 7 месяцев назад +1

      Didn't MGM sue the makers of this film, and win? But maybe I'm muddling it up with another "Jaws" rip-off.

    • @suedenim
      @suedenim 7 месяцев назад

      ​@@andrewgwilliam4831 I think GREAT WHITE was the one with a prominent lawsuit, but the American studios generally tried to go after these ripoffs. I think some stayed under the radar by not attempting a North American release.

    • @raulcruz716
      @raulcruz716 7 месяцев назад

      @@andrewgwilliam4831 that was THE LAST SHARK.

    • @julietfischer5056
      @julietfischer5056 7 месяцев назад

      You take the idea and change it just enough.
      I mean, there's not much to a 'rampaging animal' movie. Pick your species, select your prey---er, characters---and have at it. As long as the threat is resolved at the end, you can do quite a lot in between. In a cash-grab mockbuster, they do the minimum.

    • @raulcruz716
      @raulcruz716 7 месяцев назад +1

      @@julietfischer5056 but what about the gratuitous usage of footage from the original JAWS movies?

  • @Rescoase
    @Rescoase 2 месяца назад

    how'd they get the jaws shark to be in this?

  • @rsacchi100
    @rsacchi100 7 месяцев назад

    If I only knew I could have been a marine biologist by watching "Jaws".

  • @reignfire85
    @reignfire85 7 месяцев назад

    Favorite expert in films? Hard to say, but I want to nominate Vic Morrow from The Last Shark.
    It's great you're covering this. I actually love this film and some of its reviews of late (Jason Brant and The Horror Geek did delightful jobs on this flick). Wish it would get a re-release because copies are few in number.

    • @kronos_rides_about_a_bit6125
      @kronos_rides_about_a_bit6125 7 месяцев назад +1

      Vic's
      attempt at a "Scottish" accent in that was hilarious

    • @reignfire85
      @reignfire85 7 месяцев назад

      @@kronos_rides_about_a_bit6125 --- I tried to watch it with my dad, he refused to finish after the first 30 minutes and we haven't gotten back to it since, but when I first showed it to him he got a huge laugh out of seeing Morrow was in it.

  • @Matthew6248
    @Matthew6248 7 месяцев назад

    Cruel Jaws makes Jaws 3D look like Jaws 1 in comparison

  • @varanid9
    @varanid9 7 месяцев назад

    Well, better a locomotive than a battleship, I suppose.

  • @cpuuk
    @cpuuk 7 месяцев назад

    Well, fair play to them, they stretched the $10 SFX budget a long way.

  • @PaladinDusty
    @PaladinDusty 7 месяцев назад +2

    Any expert played by Donald Pleasance.

  • @thribs
    @thribs 7 месяцев назад

    Is that explosion from Jaws 2?

    • @travisrygg3317
      @travisrygg3317 7 месяцев назад +1

      Yep. So is some footage from other Jaws movies.

  • @TheMadAfrican1
    @TheMadAfrican1 3 месяца назад

    One of those few films where the girlfriend (Vanessa) getting eaten is almost entirely justified by her being a cow.

  • @fokushigaru1310
    @fokushigaru1310 7 месяцев назад

    I've seen a lot of reviews of this movie on how bad it is, but your the first to show enough scenes from the movie to actually give a sense of how hilariously awful it is.

  • @altebander2767
    @altebander2767 7 месяцев назад

    Ohh it has to be Dr. Verena Brandauer from the Marine Biology Institute from the German movie "Hai-Alarm auf Mallorca", along with Julia Bennet. It's a movie that's a mix between a soap-opera and "Alarm for Cobra 11 - The Highway Police". So you have amazing car stunts, but also soapy lines of dialogue like:
    Sven: "I believe that one plus one makes two, sharks eat humans"
    Julia: "I also believe that one plus one makes two. The question is why one plus one makes two. It's not important what you believe in, Sven. It's only important that you believe in anything."
    Sven: "And what do you believe in?"
    Julia: "I believe in love!"
    Or this one:
    "You know, water is my life, and life came from the water. At least water never disappointed me."
    Or this one:
    "Every stone, every tree reminds me of Rebekka. Her death has changed everything. I simply don't belong here anymore!"

  • @patrickmoreau7592
    @patrickmoreau7592 7 месяцев назад +1

    All I can think of is handicap parking while watching this

    • @ashleys9397
      @ashleys9397 7 месяцев назад +1

      Good one. Maybe kinda sick, but nevertheless a good one.

  • @zachschreck
    @zachschreck 7 месяцев назад

    Today I learned there was an appropriately terrible Jaws 5 and a Dark Corners Patreon, it's a good day.

  • @joshuablack8221
    @joshuablack8221 7 месяцев назад

    Hulk Hogan and Mario Lopez along with Nic Cage would make this a masterpiece 💯

  • @sconni666
    @sconni666 7 месяцев назад

    The shark was trained by the Navy.

  • @CouchCoop128
    @CouchCoop128 7 месяцев назад

    Those dammed local girls are their witty insults !

  • @JeffreyDeCristofaro
    @JeffreyDeCristofaro 7 месяцев назад

    This is how desperate Italian filmmakers were in the 80's - they didn't just shamelessly rip off American blockbusters, they shamelessly ripped off other Italian filmmakers' rip-offs and threw in footage from other unconnected movies just to pad their rip-offs to feature length!

    • @DarkCornersReviews
      @DarkCornersReviews  7 месяцев назад

      Gonna shock you here. This may look like a peak 80s movie, but was actually 1995.

  • @randybarnett2308
    @randybarnett2308 5 месяцев назад

    The best Hulk Hogan movie ever Brother!❤💪😀

  • @paulharries9558
    @paulharries9558 7 месяцев назад

    Oh no, killer fish.🙄

  • @650nelson
    @650nelson 7 месяцев назад

    Whatcha gonna do, when the big shark comes down on you? Tell em Brother!

  • @bigfootalley5582
    @bigfootalley5582 7 месяцев назад

    Still more entertaining that Jaws the Revenge.

  • @TravisWillden-ik5sd
    @TravisWillden-ik5sd 6 месяцев назад

    to be honest I say this is the greatest animal horror movie of all time, I give Cruel Jaws 10 out of 10.

  • @diegoferreiro9478
    @diegoferreiro9478 7 месяцев назад

    Not just Hulk Hogan, 5:25 it seems we have also a Harvey Weinstein lookalike...