Talk to your D&D party like an adult, please
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- Опубликовано: 3 июл 2024
- Communication problems? In YOUR D&D group? It's more likely than you think!
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► INDEX
0:00 - Intro
1:13 - Who is this video for?
2:50 - Identify the problem
6:06 - Sponsored by Kobold Press!
7:28 - Communicate the problem
9:09 -- Avoid "you" statements
9:27 -- Avoid essentializing people
9:46 -- Avoid assigning blame
11:07 - What to do next
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Yeah, someday those puns will go from prototype to fish. They'll get beta & betta.
thank u dannyboy for the smile
thank u
Huh?
@@kelly_seastar A functional prototype of a product is often called a beta version, and betta is a breed of fish.
I refuse to acknowledge how funny this is I politely request that you speak no more
*Points* corner, now.
Ginny is slowly evolving from “Cool Cosplay Gal" to “D&D Mom" and I'm here for it!
I wonder what her mega-evolution will look like
@@jeroen92 neo-somnoven ginny
@@jeroen92
Cool Cosplay Gal --> D&D Mom --> Goddess of Fantasy
“In my games, player characters have a maximum of 1 HP.”
Cool D&D Mom
"Life advice loosely disguised as D&D advice" is EXACTLY what I was thinking before you said it
"Honesty isn't an excuse to be unkind"
-Ginny Di
I really like that a lot.
If only the internet had a forum sticky...
Good comment
@Scott's Precious Little Account what the fuck are you talking about?
"It's inevitable that conflicts will arise"
Me: (nods)
"I think a lot of us don't really have the emotional or social tools to navigate conflict in a healthy way"
Me: (nods intensify)
Another great entry in the "actually D&D can be a vector to be a better person" canon.
Also Bob sounds like a real jag.
Fuckin' Bob!!
I'm gonna have to make a playlist to show to my conservative Christian relatives. So far it's this, that FANDOM documentary on D&D in general and literally any clip of Matt Mercer being a sweetheart
@@GinnyDi Don’t worry, gang, I’ll talk to him. We Bobs all know each other.
@@calebdouglas2512 I love that! I did that with my family with some other fandoms im in and it actually made them understand me wayyy better. I hope it works out!!!
@@Alansaurus that's awesome! Any effort to better help you and your family understand each other is a win in my book
"Better armed for potential future issues"
My decision to bring my greatsword to game night has been validated
Sounds like you tend to play somewhere with high celings and sparsly furnished rooms...
Otherwise, I'd bring something less unwieldy, like a rondell dagger, or a Gladius...
To be perfectly honest, I’ve always preferred an apache pistol for close quarters combat. But you do you
@@meikograveyard I prefer dual wielding a dagger and M1911 for the best of both worlds.
If we’re being honest, I prefer 2 sharpened #2 pencils and a crisp SAT test
This taught me more about anything than the stupid social emotional learning course we take in school every year.
You get an emotional learning course in school? That seems helpful. May I ask what country you're in, and what the class is like?
@@aloseman I'm in USA and it's pretty bad
.I guess there are some pretty decent things you can learn but it's kind of like "how to talk to people nicely and stay calm while doing so"
@@aloseman it’s also not a class taught in all schools, or even in every state. When I was completing my Teacher Preparation program for my state, Social Emotional Learning as a classroom objective was very new, and when I asked my professors about what that looks like in the classroom l, it seemed like even they weren’t sure. I have little doubt it is useful, but as a new teacher trying to integrate it into a curriculum, concrete examples and lesson plans steeped in those practices were next to non-existent at the time.
Send this to your teacher. Tell them that it's a DnD-themed video, but is basically just universal teamwork advice. They could show it in class, or add the best bits to their own lecture.
I think a lot of the people on social media asking for "help" are perfectly aware that they need to communicate. Their asking online is A, a way to find out if their worries are valid (and/or if other viewpoints exist in a reference group they trust) and B, what words to use when voicing their concerns. Finding words for emotions is really hard and if you aren't prepared, it's easy to get steamrollered and not be able to stand your ground.
I feel like I was tricked into therapy and I am here for it.
can confirm; this is exactly what a lot of therapy is like.
This really isn't just about TTRPGs. This is really good conflict management advice in general, applicable to almost any situation.
TTEPG? What does E stand for there? I'm genuinely just curious
@@GirishManjunathMusic it was a typo.
@@MatthewSmith-pv6gd alright, good to know!
I think Ginny recognizes that, based on her comment at the end about “general life advice disguised as D&D advice” 😄
I actually really like the “It’s Alice’s turn, Bob is up next” idea for combat - might help with speeding up looking up spells time.
Matt does this with Cadeuses cuz he never knows what spells to use lol.
And then talisen says ‘oh no that messed up what I was going to do’ and spends 3 minutes looking anyway
And we still love him, Talisen is the best kind of Bob.
My dm will do this for everyone. He tends to know my turn is "go up to monster, swing, spend a ki, flurry of blows", and yet he still tells me when I'm on deck. I love that tho cuz if by chance something happens I can change up my play.
Our combat is rather quick but we have a Bob at the table who either thinks on deck is his turn and starts telling us his turn or is so lost in the game he isn't sure what to do..... he is a barbarian and forgets he has rage and reckless attack. Sad thing is he rolled very well for stats and he has t he highest intelligence at the table in characters only..... still a great guy and it's rather funny for the rest of us that he seems lost, even tho I'm pretty sure out of the group I'm the new guy to d&d. Heck I just went over his stats and found out he didn't level up his character 3 sessions ago and is still on level 5 (we are level 6 now) without using his asi/feat and I'm not sure he picked a subclass.
It's the kind of simple advice that makes me wonder why it's not in any DM Guide.
I sat in on a convention panel in which "professional" GMs counseled solving in-game issues with in-game retaliation. It was truly cringe. I felt bad for all the newb DMs there that might take that bad advice to heart and create short-lived toxic tables that would only serve to drive people away from the hobby. Thank you so much for your video. Breath of fresh air.
I want to believe that that *could* work, but I feel like the scenario in which it does would be very, *very* niche. Group of close friends, informed this is what would be happening, actually talking about what/why/how to improve to avoid further retaliation if not prior to the initial instance of in-game "justice" for out-of-game problems... maybe worked into the lore somehow, ie "the gods sense that you are not doing all that you can to help [the party/yourself/said god reach their goals through you] and demand you work things out with your party" for flavor. But again, it would be super niche, and wouldn't work if the natures of the players and their closeness/trust in each other was lacking, as the moment someone takes it personally is the moment it completely falls apart. Videos like this are definitely much appreciated compared to stuff that is essentially saying to punish/attack your players...
That advice can only work in the very distinct context of "Your in-game actions were selfish and screwed over the party. Now reap the consequences of screwing up the party. This bad outcome was a direct result of You Doing The Thing We Warned You Not To Do. When will you learn, when will you learn, that your actions have consequences." In no other scenarios does it work, and in particular it only works here because, surprise, the DM talks to the player out of character and lets them know what they did was not okay.
@@blaireshoe8738 if it’s in game issues why wouldn’t there be in game retaliation? It depends on the issues honestly. So I don’t see this as heavily cringe. If the party is infighting then the enemy has more time to prepare. If there is someone that decides to steal from the group or do evil acts throw them in a dungeon and have in game consequences. Now rules should already be set. So everyone should know the expectation of role playing and what can and cannot be done.
That's terrible advice. In-game actions get in-game consequences. Out of game actions get out of game consequences. Always.
@@donaldpreston4422 they're talking about in-game consequences for out of game actions. For example, DM and player had a disagreement over a person they both wanted to date, or over something one of them said while drunk. Next session, DM drops a tarrasque on the player's character, or some other deadly Deus ex Machina.
As a DM named Bob listening to this in the background, I feel personally attacked. /s
you're one of the good Bobs!!
We got this!
There's a lot more good Bob's than bad ones. Sideshow Bob not withstanding.
,,, not all Bobs!
Same!
As someone with severe anxiety who is terrible at taking on conflict, this was very helpful. Thank you!
Just take a couple of IRL Barbarian levels!
@@joshuafurtado2299 I understand why you find that annoying, but at the end of the day him talking about a game system he likes while at the table isn't harming anyone. I'm sure it's probably because RPG's are something he's very interested in, and he just wants to share his knowledge because it makes him feel happy to talk about his passion. If I was in your situation, I'd take a step back and just tell myself that, and try not to get so worked up about it if I can help it. Maybe humour him even and ask about it outside of the session, so that it's spoken about less at the table itself, and is less disruptive.
Changing the rules to suit one person however, that's different, it actively harms your play experience. If they're close friends and you think that the DM will only take his side and bend the rules, then yeah, I think your best option is to leave. Even if you convince the DM not to do that anymore, it will probably cause a rift between them and their friend.
@@joshuafurtado2299 right I see what you mean, I seem to have misunderstood your first message. I thought he was simply comparing the two systems in casual conversation at the table when things happened (which would've been annoying yes but like I said harmless), not trying to bend the rules of 5e so that they match pathfinder. I'd suggest that if you bring up the topic with him or the DM, try and frame it in a non-accusatory way like Ginny says. Instead of "it's not pathfinder stop bringing it up" maybe "we should give DM more space to run the campaign, give him a chance to try without being micromanaged even if he makes mistakes", ie; he won't keep jumping in to spell out the rule systems. He's likely to want to change his behaviour if he thinks it might be bothering his friend than bothering you (no offence)
Great and helpful video! I really like the acknowledgment that conflict can occur without one singular wronging/wronged party because of various playstyles or communication gaps.
Careful, if you keep showing up on my favorite D&D channels, you’re gonna make me want to listen to your D&D podcast
@@MortimerSeptimus that's the plan :)
@@SarahZ now you have to do a game. I live for your video essays
Or personalities clashing or annoying behavior or personal flaws....
The commentary about Avoiding Essentializing is _super_ important for more than just role-playing, or even just communication.
If you can strip that out of your thinking in general, it'll lead to a lot less personal negativity and anxiety and prevent communication problems from even starting.
Yes! This is a cognitive behavioral therapy element too, I know it as "labeling." Like telling yourself you're a dumb person when you made one forgetful mistake. It's not constructive, only destructive! So I like it in this context too, of taking care not to do that to other people willy nilly
"F*cking Bob!" 🤣😂 I am HERE for a Short about all the ways that he pissed off the rest of the group, lol!
The only thing worse than conflict at the table is the lack of it; when players or DMs keep their issues to themselves and end up dropping out of the game, never saying why.
The person with the problem never gets resolution or the chance to be heard.
The person causing the problem never gets the opportunity for self-reflection or change.
I've done the disappearing act myself and I later came to realize it was a pretty selfish thing to do.
Even worse than someone dropping out, is someone dropping a vague message about their dissatisfaction before ghosting you!
Yeah, if you don't know that you're upsetting someone, you can't address the issue. I had this issue once where another player got upset about the rogues forming their own clique and sneaking off in the night, and she talked to me about it. Well, she more yelled at me about it. And cursed. Lots of cursing.
Ah, but that is conflict, of the most insidious sort.
This hits close to home, because I left my D&D group just two weeks ago.
It was because of some in-character conflit between me and another player that turned personal.
I was irritated enough after that, but I was willing to let it slide and be civil about it as long as we could find a good solution for it roleplay-wise - but then, a few days after the session, the guy started openly shit-talking me (not me the character, but me the person) in our party's group chat, not taking any responsibility for the fight and pushing all the blame on me (all while making some very uncalled-for remarks about me as a person), and I was done.
I don't let anyone talk to me like that, and I couldn't imagine staying in the same group as him if this was the kind of dynamic we were gonna be having in the future.
It sucked - we've been playing this campaign for close to a year now, and I hate that I had to leave it like this - but I know where my personal line is, and he crossed it one too many times.
Meanwhile, our dungeon master didn't do anything - she definitely read the messages, but she didn't say anything at all until _days_ after I had already left the group. And even then, she didn't really make any kind of statement about it.
I'm not surprised though. That Guy is her boyfriend, and he had been getting special treatment all campaign long.
The entire time it felt like he thought of himself as the main character of the group, and our DM definitely did everything in her power to support that assumption.
It was an exhausting group to play in even before it went toxic like that, not gonna lie.
This sounds almost exactly like what a friend of mine is going through in her other D&D group (though admittedly with less out-of-game shit-talking, if I’m getting the full story). One of the other players is the DM’s girlfriend and there have been many instances where this player’s character actively worked towards sabotaging my friend’s character (the most egregious of which is setting him up to get sent to jail), along with seemingly having information about the setting/NPCs that none of the other players have and the DM frequently having extended social interactions with his GF’s character while the other players were ignored/sidelined for the entire conversation (there was one instance that lasted over an hour).
It’s not just the GF that seems to be targeting my friend’s character either. At some point, my friend’s character was able to befriend a gazer, but then was forced by the group (mostly by the GF) to get rid of him, accusing the gazer of spying on them. The DM a few sessions later then described them finding some dead gazers on their way to a beholder and basically outright said that one of them was my friend’s character’s gazer. (She was so upset about that detail that our group unanimously agreed that if she ever played him again at our table, he would just automatically have his gazer familiar.)
As it sounded to me that the problem involves both the DM and the GF, I have encouraged her to try talking with the only other player in the group to see if he too has noticed and taken issue with the seeming special treatment that the GF is getting, but since they’re supposedly nearly finished the adventure (they’ve been “almost finished” for nearly a month now), she figured she’d just tough it out and just not join up if/when they start up a new game.
Now that I’ve written it all out, it’s possible, based on the DM’s and GF’s actions, that talking with them about the differential treatment might not actually lead anywhere, so I can see where she’s coming from regarding just quietly finishing the game and never coming back. That said, I still think it might be worth it to make her issues known if for no other reason than for the DM and GF to have that complaint (I can’t think of another word rn) in mind if similar comments are made by someone else in the future. Or, at least I hope that’s what would happen, idk. Maybe they’ll just end up thinking that she’s being too sensitive and not reflect on their actions whatsoever, who knows 🤷♀️😒?
Oof, I'm so sorry. But maaaajor props to you for making the choice that felt healthy for yourself, even though it's such a disappointment to walk away from a game. I hope you find another game soon that is a much better fit
"Ensign! What color flag be waved on mast yonder?"
"Sir! I say, 'tis crimson of color."
"And 'low that?"
"Be it scarlet, true."
"And the last?"
"I daresay it be mahogany, if it please Sir."
"Steady on. Nothing to tarry o'er here."
Glad that you had the courage to extricate yourself from that toxic gaming environment. May you soon find a fun, pleasant group with whom you can enjoy role play.
8:20 In my experience, people who consider themselves "brutally honest", are generally more interested in the brutality. Honesty can hurt, but how it's being delivered doesn't need to be delivered harshly.
absolutely
it's either that or they're trying to justify or cover for being unwilling or ignorant about communicating in a better way
Yup. It helps to take criticisms with a grain of salt, because people will ALWAYS have a bias towards benefitting themselves. I have to tell people a lot of times “no the thing you think you want to do or have isnt actually helpful for the game because it isnt fair to others, and that could hurt the game long term”. Esp when players want to make new content like spells, sure its great fun, but it does have to be semi fair to others
This used to be me, and I agree wholeheartedly. Kind and clever honesty have worked out much better.
"Many of us spend more time with our dnd parties then we do with our families."
Shout out to all the dms and players who play with their families ♡
I dm for my 2 sisters ♡
i dm for my little brother and two of our cousins!
I dm for my mom, stepfather, sister, and fiance. I have a group with my sister, fiance and sister's friend too, and usually a group with just friends/acquaintances/strangers too, but at this time I don't have a game like that going on.
I DM'd a oneshot campaign with my boyfriend and his siblings a couple days before I had to move back in with my parents to finish my last semester at Uni. I hope to make it into a long term campaign on the weekends when I get back :)
Yeah, me and my brother take turns DMing for each other. And sometimes my brother's best friend.
Not only is this such good advice, but your hair looks AMAZING in this video!
Truth. It visually was all very well composed.
Ginny: ‘talk to them like an adult’
Me, who is 15: ah yes, adult, I know how to do that
I play with people in their late twenties/early thirties. You're okay, trust me.
@@0coffeEAddict0 as someone in their mid 20s, I have no idea what I'm doing, send help
As one who's both played and DMed with problem players, this is what I've learned.
1. Set expectations right from the get go. Be clear and level headed when conveying these expectations. The table needs to come first, and harmony is the goal. When everyone works together, we all win. When everyone agrees to a set of basic conduct rules, you should be good. If certain people cannot stay within those lines, then problems will arise.
2. When conflict arises, remain level headed. This is the hardest part, especially when you're taking offense at something. Trust me, finger pointing and shouting solve nothing and only fixes blame.
3. Try to handle things privately when you can. Be as diplomatic as you can. I the problem persists, then handle it publicly. Sometimes it's the only way. Some people honestly don't hear themselves in the moment. Hell, I know I've tripped up more than my share. I'd expect you to call me out.
4. When you want to talk about issues, pick neutral ground. Removing the perception of "territory" is key. I like to take the problem party out for a beer and discuss the issue along with what may be going on in their lives. Getting context is important. Removing the atmosphere of conflict can sometimes lead to a helpful dialogue.
If you're uncomfortable with one-to-one conversations like this, maybe bring along another player who can help arbitrate.
5. Develop tools for clear communication. I'm a visual guy, so I use visual tools. I also stand when I DM so everyone can see my body language. Initiative it tracked via wooden clothespins on top of my DM screen (with Character names on them). When people can see their turn, they're usually ready for it. I use natural language when describing things to build better comprehension. Immersion is improved with better comprehension of the moment.
6. Draw a line. If the problem persists, you have to decide when things are basically making things less than fun. Matt Colville once said that no gaming is better than bad gaming. I never understood that until it was true. It is better to remove or leave toxic people, relationships or situations than let things fester. You may save friendships in the long run. I've had to remove more than one player from my table.
A smaller, tighter knit group who respects everyone else is better than a larger problem group. Heck, you may even want to try games as small as one-to-one or two-to-one, so long as everyone is cool with it.
7. As an addendum to #6, if you cannot find a DM to suit you, maybe you're the DM you're looking for. Take a turn at The Big Chair and develop your own stories. Sometimes the perspective from the other side of the screen is what you need. Essentially, be the DM you'd like to play under. Trust me, it's an eye opener.
Lastly, thanks for this. I'll bet you've had to deal with some shit, and I'll also bet you're more diplomatic than I am. Stick with it. You're doing much better at it than I did at your age, which is fantastic.
Well said. Id add to the list by saying that sometimes the gm has to swallow pride if the players arent too happy with some aspect of the game. If a player or players are saying something is wrong, take the negative criticism as what it is, extremely insightful, and a great tool to help you do better as gm in the future. Dont take it personal, and if it feels like youre being personally attacked for being a bad gm or player, try to ignore the fact you feel attacked, and dont react to that idea, it wont help to be defensive. You can ask for more information, ask if players have specific issues, and examples, and ask if they have any ideas on how to fix it. No one person is “right” , it HAS to be a cooperative effort where everyone leaves happy.
I have this issue often when trying something new, and sometimes players have to tell me yes/no on certain things, and I always leave on a happy note; “thank you for your advice, and patience. Ill work on the changes so the next game is even better”. This is why i always have a peer review after each game, it is a space where such criticisms can be aired fairly and openly. Same for giving praise too, everyone NEEDS to hear some praise every once in a while, the gm and the players too. (And yes, as gm, i hear more negative feedback on average, because players just want to improve their situation, this is normal. Its nice to hear what is good about your gm’ing, but its even more helpful to use negative feedback as a tool. It doesnt mean youre bad at all, its just human nature. The only thing to consider is if players are giving HONEST feedback, or if theyre just trying to “get ahead”. A good saying is “it is easier to justify getting something you want,” meaning if someone is complaining that theyre not getting what they feel they deserve, dont be afraid to talk about it and maybe compromise, but realize that players will always see things from their perspective (like wanting more level up, more loot, etc.) Sometimes they just assume they know something they dont, like how much treasure they “should” have, but they dont always know how to gm or run a game at all, so theyre opinions are likely only based on their past experiences. This is why its so good to set those early expectations.)
@@daveshif2514 This is the reason why I do "campaign pitches". I'll write down three concepts in a few sentences each. The players vote for the campaign they want.
Rule changes are discussed pre-game and voted on.
I also have the players recount the events of the previous session. This measures engagement and tells me what they're into. Its also a helpful reminder.
" I use natural language when describing things to build better comprehension."
Please provide an example of this. I'm always seeking to improve my descriptions.
@@commandercaptain4664 In other words, I use references that the players can relate to in simple language. To describe how dark something is, I might say "It's really dark. Like you're in a room with no windows and the power went out.", or "The smell of rot is somewhere, but it's hard to trace it. Like something in the fridge has spoiled, and you KNOW it's in there, but you just can't find it". Use language the players can relate to. Describe it to them, not "the characters". Trust me, the characters will react appropriately.
As DM, everybody who shows up on time gets a free dm inspiration.
Yes! A carrot can work better than a stick. Use something (inspiration or bonus xp) to reward players who are always ready with their actions, show up on time, help other players, etc.
Talking to your players/GM like an adult is the best advice. It solves so many problems.
But I totally agree that many people lack the skills to have those conversations in a manner that does not escalate into yelling or hurt feelings.
Giving people tools to better navigate those conversations is a great idea for a video! 😁
"Have you tried talking to them? Like a Goddamn adult?" - I actually think that is a very helpful instinct and very Adult.
Honestly yes. People forget that you cam just deal with things by talking to your players and addressing problems.
Same. A lot of people I know who won't address conflict directly will start talking behind people's backs and lashing out and like, I understand conflict management is a skill to be honed, but that doesn't change the behaviors being incredibly immature.
Sometimes you need to just tell them to cut the crap and say what's bugging them.
I've been known to ask my spouse if I'm a DM or a kindergarten teacher because sometimes I can't tell.
... although Ginni's choice of adjectives diminished the point.
The speaker needs to respect everyone else and many have not been taught how some words are not used in polite situations. It is just as important as sexual jokes or ethnic jokes that should be well considered before using them.
I think what she meant by not Adult is that it's not nuanced. Often, the answer is healthy communication, but players might not know that, or they might not how to do that. Responding with "Have you tried talking to them like an Adult?" can be putting unhealthy expectations on someone who just doesn't have that kind of communication experience, someone who doesn't have the ability to talk to someone "like an adult". In my experience, everyone is doing the best they can with the tools they have, they just often need different tools or to learn a different way to use them.
8:48 What I love about this tweet is that it is brutally honest about how brutal honesty isn't always the best.
True
The DM has to control the table and talk to the players like adults.
Good video
Such an important video. So many people just don't know what to do when they're told "just talk to them." Thank you for making this.
This feels like a detention video. Which means it's probably well needed.
"[puns] are in beta" lmao
That shot me back to when I had a warforged bard that would say this or some version every time their "Hideous Laughter" would fail
This is good advice. If I may add one more, be very careful of tryiing to use in-game actions/consequences for interpersonal conflicts. Talk to the person, player to player--don't have your character try to murder their character. It can be tempting to look at your resources and see all the spells and attacks you can use, when you're much likelier to have a productive solution by communicating with the player.
Oh dear god, people *do* that?
@@the.rest.is.confetti Sometimes you hear horror stories (from forums, etc). Just like all other human interaction, thing can go off the rails in a hurry. Healthy adult communication is a skill that takes time and dedication to grasp, but it's the best way forward most of the time.
I actually did this once (tried to hit the other character with a club) when my boyfriend dragged me into a one-shot with his co-workers and one of them roleplayed something as a joke that I took as sexual violence. Obviously the game didn't continue and I think I have a much better grasp of my own boundaries and how to communicate them now, but...well, I'm not proud of how I acted but it was a good D&D lesson for me.
Meanwhile, if in-character conflict arises, it's OK to go out of character to discuss how you both want the conflict to resolve.
Stuff said around a table I was there for over the last 25 years. (I'm so old t-t) Most of these got resolved peacefully through conversation. (A few of these are actually a DM side problem)
"Can you stop talking over me when I try to RP?"
"That depends, can you stop trying to get us killed by antagonizing the NPC that one-shot the monster you missed on a nat 19?"
"He's annoying and keeps killing shit for us!"
(DM Npc kept intervening and being the main star)
"Stop rushing me during my turn!"
"You always take SO LONG!"
"Then stop changing the whole battle map or getting in the way of my best spells. At this point, it's like you do it on purpose."
(Player thought spells were op and was looking for a way to cause conflict around that)
"You never do shit in combat!"
"I literally buffed everyone during my turns, you just always forget you have them."
"You keep killstealing my enemies!"
"What is this, 2nd edition with a Bribe the DM with Food clause? Get lost."
"Why do you keep redoing your math every roll? It's going to be +7 Until we gain 3 levels!"
"Stop questioning how I do things!"
"Then stop getting it wrong!" (the player was cheating and someone tried to be smooth about it)
"I never have any chance to shine anywhere!"
"You literally never pay attention to anything happening ever, you're always talking to people on your phone!"
"This is my house!"
"Geographical location doesn't change the fact that you don't pay attention"
"Why do you have to make your character a [slur for being LGBTQ]?"
"You'll never get to know the answer to that, Dave." (Not actually called dave)
That last one hits home. Great advice, and a great way to rebuttal such a rude question
That last one is... Oh my
Bob is my favorite player. He’s reliable, engaged, and has a really good sense of humor.
My party is made up of people who are so different that you'd think they wouldn't get along, but they are really good at translating their differences into a good party dynamic and it makes for some hilarious games
Some of us can only be so lucky. Happy for you!
To be fair, adults and children can ironically be a dualistic mentality--sadly adults can be children, but children can surprisingly act like adults.
But communication, patience, and empathy is key.
This video made the phrase, "Role for diplomatic initiative" pop into my head.
You're legit sharing things taught in college level interpersonal communications class. AWESOME quality and content, and I'm saving this for future reference as a teacher!
For real. As someone with a comms major that focused on interpersonal and conflict resolution, it makes me want to bust out my textbooks again
I literally just got done creating my first character ever for a oneshot campaign, just to get a taste of D&D, and my goodness was this great to hear. I've been watching tutorial videos for hours on how to create a character/fill out a character sheet, but this is the first video I've seen with real-world advice and actual social situation scenarios. Thank you so much for this, Ginny! I wish you and your channel the best of luck in the future and I'm sure I'll be around for more :D
I left a group because there were too many problems that no one else seemed to care about: dm was railroading us, everyone was on their phone, role play was almost nonexistent, the world’s logic contradicted itself too many times, players would fall asleep, spell were nerfed or changed too often, players would show up 2 hours late, some players had tons of magical items while others had two magical items
Later on I heard the dm slept with a player’s gf (who was also a player) and I wasn’t too surprised because the dm made her into a Mary Sue. Somehow she always got the killing blow
I am ashamed I laughed at the Ad pun.
That aside... thank you so much, Ginny. This is the practical advice we, as a community, all need. Personally. I've looked for advice on reddit about a player that may be called a problem player. I've been stressing for weeks about the conversation that I know I'm going to have to have as GM.
Thank you. Also, nice set and lighting. And nice ad read. Thanks for making it entertaining.
Another amazing video! But I gotta say I love your ads, I never skip them because they are so well thought out, clever, and punny xD
I'm a talkative person who decided to play a -1cha character so I'd talk less.
It didn't work, I just got better at embracing terrible social rolls.
Next try a kenku.
@@generatoralignmentdevalue but kenkus can be awesome when paired with a bard.
You know, it's surprising how often "communicate respectfully" is the answer. Not just in D&D.
(Ok, I laughed really hard at the byte joke)
I might have came here for dnd content, but I stayed for the ads (the content is amazing too btw), they make me smile every time
"Have you tried talking to them like a godamn adult?" is, in fact, my first response as well - and I appreciate that's where Ginny starts as well! She's good people.
Being a leader at your table as the DM is super important!
That's not only great D&D advice, it's great life advice! How to give and accept feedback and communicate better. Great video!
my heart swells at how kind and thoughtful your videos are 💗💗
just leaving a little comment to boost the algorithm so this reaches more people...
thank you for making this video!
It’s not talking to them like an adult it’s more of talk to them like a human being
It is wonderful to see how little Ginny has grown up. There can be a healthy balance of maturity and fun that all can enjoy.
I love how Ginny explains everything in a way that makes you feel not dumb, no matter how basic
Ginny is now one of the measured and brilliant DMs I aspire to be. This is just a great video. Algorithm, do your thing!
Omg. These would have been very helpful guidelines when i had the worst depressive episode of my life and didn't have the ability to clarify or change effectively based on the feedback i got.... keeping this in mind going forward!
This isn't even just advice for dnd, this is actually really helpful with other inter-personal conflicts as well.
Oh no, that first comment was VERY "Adult" of you! (And we've all been there!)
It started out as Dnd advice… but it ended up being life advice. ❤️
Kind of nice to think that D&D is Life.
We talk,we cringe and we have a blast for talking like adults
Commenting this until someone at Critical Role sees it: the world needs Sam vs. Ginny in an ad-read-off. Do it for charity!
This is for like almost every conflict in general, just talk to the ppl.
Super great advice, Ginny. One of the things I often notice is that most people consider tabletop roleplaying to be like... a monolithic activity. Something akin to say... soccer. In reality, TTRPGs are like "sports." There are all different kinds, from soccer to cricket to freakin' chess. So many people wanna just play a TTPRG that they don't really stop to think if what they're looking for is in alignment with what the GM or other players are aiming for. And even if most everyone is on the same page, TTRPGs allow for literally an infinite number of ways they can be played or otherwise experienced, so players (and the GMs!) can have widely different preferences for what takes up "screen time." It's a lot to have to navigate, and working on some of the skills and using the tips you mentioned I think can do a great job for creating the collaborative atmosphere AND help foster the inevitable compromises everyone has to make so that everyone can enjoy the game as much as possible.
It's amazing that such a stupidly complex hobby ever took off! But maybe that's why we love it so much? Because when it's great, it's the best. And it's only ever great when you conjure those moments with others.
Well said. It IS like sports.
Even if we all like the same “sport”, we might not all enjoy watching the same “teams” playing. The group you play with is just as important if not more than the game itself. If the group doesnt mesh well, the game wont work. Doesnt mean anyone is wrong, we just all like the same sport in a different way
So very well done !! Love it
A lot of other channels' ideas about monsters and classes and adventures are all fun and I watch a lot of them, but I think Ginny's videos on the social dynamics of the table are some of the most practically useful things RUclips has to offer a D&D player.
FOR THE ALGORITHM I SACRIFICE THIS COMMENT
Seriously though, this is so amazing!! Everyone needs to watch this.
Love this! Thank you so much Ginny!
I enjoy thoughtful and considerate advice.
I've never seen anyone apply reasonable real world advice on roleplaying this well and in a very digestible way. The next time I run a group I plan to peruse your videos for reminders. Thank you.
Really awesome video that stretches beyond D&D. Loved it!
This is why I love your channel. You're a voice of reason!
Ginny, hearing you swear with feeling was awesome!
There was a Bob in our group in the 80's, 90's and 2000's. One of the many running jokes was "Bob is Gaelic for...[insert here like "one who is always late']. One day during, a heated argument, I said "Bob is Gaelic for one who gets hit in the face with my axe." The really funny part was, I had brought my axe into the house. It's not a foam axe, it is more of a hand axe that you can throw, which I have, but it is more of a utility axe that I thought we might need the file off of. Everyone knew it was in the house but didn't know where it was and they assumed it was nearby. The argument stopped and we moved on. Hours later, someone asked me about it as they thought I was going to attack Bob, I had forgotten it was in the house. :)
Thanks for a new vid Ginny!! I look forward to your vids and they always make my day! you got me into D&D in the first place & I couldn't be more grateful :)))
Good well thought out information. Thanks.
This is a REALLY good video and the coverage of the topic was excellent. Thanks Ginny!
Thanks, Ginny! Useful advice for any conflict.
Thank you! This was a very well structured video and is gonna be SUPER helpful with my group.
As a DM myself, I have to say that it is absolutely a leadership position. While you're not solely responsible for everyone's having a good time and having fun, if you don't put any work into making that happen, you're completely capable of preventing any of it from happening.
Just wanted to say how much I appreciate the advice you gave in this video.
Genuinely the only channel where I look forward to the ad spots. Thanks for this Ginny! It's spot on advice and so needed
Amen! I can't love this video enough!
Ginny’s sponsor bits are the best thing ever!
Great tips for any group dynamic, not just TTRPGs. Thank you!
i love your balanced perspective.
This was very helpful and very much something that I needed to hear. Thank you so much!
Thumbs up and a comment just for the great commercial! Your consistently entertaining, keep up the good work.
This is downright *eerie* timing! We just had to have a group talk kind of like this in my group, like...a week or so ago. It went overall pretty well, and we came up with some solutions to try out. This is a really good video, and really important! Thanks!
Came across your videos over the weekend and been watching a bunch. Really like what you're doing with exploring the social side of D&D to complement the umpteen videos I've watched about the mechanical side. Nice informative stuff and thanks for sharing them.
Excellent message and delivery! I forwarded this to my therapist, for their enjoyment!
Excellent advice and tools that just about anyone can use, whether for the first time or as a refresher.
The ads are always great!
This is such an insightful video, you cover so much in the short time, and it needs to be required watching for ANY group activity/game.
You have the best sponsor ads.
How ever much money you are being paid for these ads is not enough. These ads are art
Thank you so much for this. It really rings true, and true ten times over if you're playing by post rather than face to face!
This showed up in my recommended just when i needed it. I want to give it a try.
Wow this is really impressive life and DnD advice. Thank you for sharing and spreading good conflict management practices!
This is the most wholesome d&d channel I've seen so far
Keep it up, queen
Yet, you still teach me a new lesson. Thanks Ginny!